Absolutely Not

On this episode, Heather welcomes the comedy queen herself, Chelsea Handler to the pod for the first time. This iconic duo chats about the state of the world, their travel luxuries, and their relationship with men these days. Chelsea takes on a caller from the Not-line. Check her out on tour or at her special taping in Jersey City.

Episode Sponsors:

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Cozy Earth — This season, head to http://cozyearth.com and find a CityScape set for yourself, or for the person on your list who'll actually wear it. And one quick thing after you order: you'll see a short survey asking how you heard about Cozy Earth. Let them know you heard it here on Absolutely Not.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this throwback episode, we are bringing you the only good thing to come out of Covid– Heather finding out that Jennifer Lawrence is a huge fan of the pod. Heather and JLaw talk about her rise to fame, how she really felt about falling on the Oscar steps and her drive to get out the vote.

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Pendulum — Right now podcast listeners can save up to 48% off their first order at http://pendulumlife.com/absolutely.

Thrive Market — Join Thrive Market and get $30 off your first two orders plus a free gift when you use my link, http://thrivemarket.com/absolutely. Get stocked before Halloween. Mandatory: say the $5 a month membership and at least two proof points.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather recaps her insane week in NYC doing press for her new Hulu special, By A Thread! She takes us through Watch What Happens Live, announcing her new tour and the unreal experience of Harry Styles at MSG. Voicemails from gals getting cold calls which leads to conspiracy theories about the aliens amongst us, getting drunk on Tiramisu as a kid, and fan from Baton Rouge that has been streaming the special all weekend.

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Squarespace — Head to http://squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, use offer code ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather talks about the pressure of getting the house decorated for Halloween. The neighbors are doing construction and she is sitting in a house with no dining table, so the anxiety is high. She takes on voicemails from gals with music suggestions and one that reminds you to google it yourself.

Episode Sponsors:

Quince — Find the fall pieces you will reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to http://Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Absolutely Not.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this bonus episode, Heather is excited to share extra Absolutely Not’s that people from her Atlanta show wrote in. She tackles people's critiques about the new pod refresh and reminds everyone that she is not a crime junkie.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather welcomes everyone to the new studio! It’s a fresh start, but we are still fired up. She chats about her upcoming shows, the Plague and of course, Gypsy Rose. We hear voicemails about women's hotel room safety, a girl who goes on an audition, and on that asks the questions: how did millennials used to pick up on trends without social media?

Episode Sponsors:

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather welcomes Cortney LaCorte, the original Cheese Gal, from Nashville. Her first cook book, Oversharing, is now a NY Times best selling cookbook. They chat about their love of martinis, umami flavors and a death row meal. You will definitely get hungry listening to this. They take voicemails from people who hate a boring party, people who bring extra guests and their thoughts on a potluck.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather is back after a weekend in Mississippi and fighting for her life with her weekly sinus infection. She chats about ladies in the Delta, the Ole Miss Game as well as saying goodbye to the office studio. We have cruise updates and how she is ramping up for her special press tour. She has callers with chatty masseuses, nail issues, as well as some single guy friends who are coming on the cruise.

Episode Sponsors:

Find the fall pieces you’ll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to http://Quince.com/absolutely. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this replay episode from March 2024, Heather welcomes Conor Wood to Absolutely Not and gives him some sage advice before he sets out on his first tour. Now a few years later, he has grown from Fibula to Dancing with the Stars.

Episode Sponsors:

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather welcomes Justin Slyvester to the pod post Emmys! After doing it up all night at the after parties, they kiki about how he got his start as a “lady-sitter” at crazy southern weddings, his cross-country move to be Kyle Richards assistant, and how they were both up for the co-hosting job at the Today Show. They get to your voicemails and chat about their love of taking fabulous vacations with rich white ladies.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

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On this episode, Heather is coming to you from the NYC studio fresh off some press interviews for her new special. She chats about her amazing day at the US Open as well as getting into fights with boomers. She takes voicemails about boys at the gym, Facebook marketplace finds and is left with a very serious question, Where Is Megan?!

Episode Sponsors:

Find the fall pieces you’ll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to http://Quince.com/absolutely. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.

Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely.

Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit http://Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.

Go to http://ButcherBox.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ribeye, new york strip, or filet mignon in every box for a year — with free shipping always.

Download the Bilt app and join the membership for where you live, at http://joinbilt.com/absolutely.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is panicked after the passing of Dolly Parton and Tim Curry and is worried about who will be next. She is buying deep freezers, life straws and searching for sustainable beef. She takes voicemails from people wondering what we can eat, being a type B person, and a newlywed with some questions. We get a final voicemail that brings Heather to realization that we all need to stop bitching.

Episode Sponsors:

Go to http://ButcherBox.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ribeye, new york strip, or filet mignon in every box for a year — with free shipping always.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode from July 3rd, 2019 Heather sits down with Jeff’s biggest crush of all time, Jennifer Love Hewitt. They discuss how she went from Kids Incorporated to a top Hollywood producer and all around bad bitch. They talk about love, grief, family and laugh through the pain of Hollywood.

Episode Sponsors:

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Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to http://Quince.com/absolutely. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather is joined by one of her favorites, Logan Crosby. Logan will be joining us on the cruise again this year, but he also has his own new music that he is super excited about. While celebrating almost one year sober, Logan talks about how life has changed since the last time on the pod. They chat about the Clermont Lounge, senior pranks as well as the controversial Callaway golf ad.

Episode Sponsors:

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For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit http://Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather celebrates the 400th episode of the podcast. She is confused about how this is not the 4000th. Christina (aka Tina) joins in with some games and memories from over the years of working together on Absolutely Not.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this bonus episode, Heather welcomes Heather Shaw to the studio. Shaw is most known for her uncanny Jim Carrey impression and being vegan and sober. These two outspoken broads chat about if that was really Jim on the carpet a few months ago, the illuminati and other conspiracies. She is currently on the road and you can watch her special, Alright, See Ya!, on Youtube.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather has just come back from an Ole Miss visit and is flying high from Rush work week. She is feeling nostalgic helping a friend’s kid move into the dorms, getting roped into Rush Tok, and figuring out that parents these days just love their kids more.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather is feeling the stress of “back to school”, and per usual she didn’t do her summer reading. She gets her energy out with Robin at a Home Goods that would convince any non shoppers to try it out. Voicemails from teachers, that first workout back, why everything has protein and what is up with asking for a coast lawyer.

Episode Sponsors:

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Visit http://drinksilentflower.com/golf-widow and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 15% off your first order.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is hitting summer hard, but paying for it. We learn what the Doctor has diagnosed her with, the feelings seeing a Noah Kahan concert brought up and how life as a homeowner is starting out. We get iconic voicemails that are Absolutely Not going to disappoint.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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On this episode, Heather is on a tear after some heated meetings as well as cancelled flights. While she had to miss the World Cup due to her own flight being canceled, she is here to teach everyone about flight etiquette. She chats about critics of The Odyssey, Lindsey Graham’s ladybugs, and how Jeff is turning off every light now that they are homeowners. Heather takes on the voicemails and reminds everyone that we got this.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.