Allyship in Action

Did you know that 20% of potential employees identify as neurodiverse, and the unemployment rate for the neurodiverse community is 30% to 85%?

That is why I spoke with Sean Passmore, Head of Enterprise Military and Veteran Initiatives, Neurodiversity, and Disability Employment Strategy, and Alex Lieberman, a Wells Fargo employee who identifies as Neurodiverse and was hired through the program six years ago.

As a parent navigating the world alongside my own autistic child, conversations like this one hit remarkably close to home . It's easy to talk about inclusion in abstract terms, but true allyship happens in the quiet, day-to-day moments like a manager noticing a turned off camera and asking with genuine curiosity rather than judgment .

Key Themes

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Focusing on Outcomes Over Presence. Traditional hiring and workplace norms often reward social performance and desk presence over actual output . When organizations shift their focus to clear deliverables and accommodate unique working patterns, employees can excel without burning out .

"It's often the simple things, like trusting people to do their work and measuring work by outcomes, not by your ability to sit at a desk for a long period of time."

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Psychological Safety Driven by Direct Managers. The day-to-day experience of an employee is largely shaped by their direct manager . Approaching differences with open curiosity rather than rigid assumptions creates a safe space for clear communication and trust .

"I asked him 'Help me understand why you're not on camera.' It was really, I think, just about creating some psychological safety for Alex." — Sean Passmore

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Setting Best Practices That Benefit Everyone. Implementing structured workplace practices such as clear written instructions, documented meeting takeaways, and explicit expectations removes ambiguity for neurodivergent employees while raising overall clarity across the entire team .

"There are certain best practices for the workplace. That includes writing down taking notes on meetings and writing down conclusions. It also clears up a lot for neurotypical employees who are often struggling with just the same sort of thing." — Alex Lieberman

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Sustaining Inclusion Through Structured Support Systems. Long-term retention requires intentional infrastructure . Support systems like peer buddy programs and trained voluntary coaches provide safe channels for navigating workplace dynamics and ensuring employees feel supported beyond onboarding .

"We have a buddy program. You can think of it as a best friend at work in your first 60 to 90 days... someone safe that you can talk to, an ally who's familiar with the neurodiversity community." — Sean Passmore

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Challenging Gut Instincts to Uncover Talent. Relying on gut feelings during hiring or management often reinforces implicit biases and existing comfort zones . True inclusion requires stepping back, questioning initial instincts, and evaluating talent with an open, deliberate mindset .

"Don't go with your gut, or at least don't always go with your gut. Because your gut is your subconscious experiences. If you're dealing with something that you're not used to, your gut will not be helpful." — Alex Lieberman

Actionable Takeaway

Establish a practice of documenting and sharing explicit expectations for tasks and meeting outcomes. Write down key decisions, define timelines clearly, and communicate deliverables in writing to eliminate unnecessary guesswork for your whole team .

If the last couple of years have taught us anything in the DEI space, it's that living in constant hyper-vigilance will burn you out .

Between economic shifts, societal pushback, and the sheer mental load of caring for everyone else, so many of us are operating in complete fight or flight mode.

In this episode of Allyship in Action, I sat down with the incredible Regena Thomashauer—aka Mama Gena—to talk about how we can shift out of defense mode and back into our own innate power .

I'll be honest, when Regena pulled up music for an impromptu 15-second dance break right in the middle of our interview, my initial instinct was to laugh off my bad "Elaine from Seinfeld" moves.

But feeling my heart rate settle and my nervous system calm down in real time reminded me of an essential truth: as women and leaders, we cannot pour from an empty cup or lead effectively when we're disconnected from our own joy.

Key Conversation Themes

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Pleasure as a Biological and Healing Modality

Connecting to body-based pleasure triggers vital neurotransmitters like oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins that calm the nervous system and lower cortisol.

"If we are not actively connecting to our erotic aliveness, we are leaving one of the most profound healing modalities on the table."

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Rebalancing Divine Masculine and Feminine Energies

True systemic progress requires honoring both masculine and feminine perspectives equally rather than forcing women to conform to male-centered organizational or cultural norms.

"Masculine and feminine are equally divine, equally sacred, and equally holy. The feminine excluded from leadership positions, from spiritual culture, it's damaging to both men and women."

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Surrendering to Your Aliveness in Crisis

Surrender is not about submitting to external circumstances. It is an act of reclaiming internal power and grounding yourself when facing financial or personal hardships.

"In hard times, how do you, instead of turn on yourself, turn on to your erotic aliveness. That is the biggest difference, because if you cannot connect, you surrender to that erotic aliveness that lives inside every woman."

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Overcoming the Conditioning Against Self-Celebration

Women are socialized to stay humble and small, but normalizing bragging builds connection, restores joy, and changes team dynamics in workplace environments.

"Women, by nurture don't like bragging. We've been socialized to be humble. When you brag, you're creating a pleasurable experience and turning on all those neurotransmitters."

Actionable Takeaway

Start your next team meeting or individual work routine with a brief, intentional shift into positive energy—whether that is a 15-second physical dance break to reset your nervous system or sharing a single brag to celebrate a personal or professional win.

If you have ever caught yourself second-guessing how you navigate a delicate conversation around race at work, trust me, you are not alone.

This week, I had the absolute joy of sitting down with the brilliant Dr. Evelyn Carter, social psychologist and author of Was That Racist?

We geeked out over the fascinating science of human behavior, laughed about our shared moments of awkwardness, and got real about why true inclusion requires us to drop the polished corporate scripts.

Dr. Carter brings a refreshing blend of research-backed clarity and vivid personal storytelling that makes you feel both deeply challenged and surprisingly hopeful.

We talked about how bias sneaks into our everyday micro-behaviors, why the traditional business case for diversity falls flat, and how we can empower the next generation to stand firm in their values.

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Unconscious Bias Leaks Into Physical and Social Spaces. Even when we do not consciously endorse biased beliefs, implicit social cognition leaks into our non-verbal behavior, influencing how we interact with others and navigate shared spaces.

"Those feelings of disgust, those feelings of wariness come through in the way that we decide what we want to physically keep close to us or not. We often opt for comfort over discomfort."

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Grounding DEI in Moral Conviction Over the Business Case. Relying solely on financial performance or corporate metrics to justify equity cheapens human dignity; true inclusion stems from a deep moral mandate to right historical wrongs.

"I am not doing diversity, equity, and inclusion work because it is going to make a company more money. I am doing this work because I fundamentally believe the way that we collectively behaved as a society in our past was wrong, was immoral, and led to horrific outcomes..."

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Standardizing Hiring and Promotion Systems to Block Bias. Organizations must create structured processes backed by objective criteria, rather than relying on subjective gut feelings or affinity bias that naturally favor dominant groups.

"If we cannot structure a process around it, then what you have actually been calling 'I know it when I see it' is really just bias."

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Nurturing the Next Generation's Natural Pursuit of Justice. Young people are keen observers of systemic injustice, and adults must lean into those candid discussions rather than stifling uncomfortable truths.

"Don't just put your kid in front of that movie, have a conversation about the historical fiction that it depicted and the real-life story behind it. Use the media that they are watching and make it relevant for them."

Actionable Takeaway. Replace vague culture fit metrics in your team's hiring and promotion decisions with concrete, objective criteria to eliminate implicit affinity bias and ensure equitable evaluation for every candidate.

Follow Dr. Evelyn Carter's work here https://www.evelynrcarter.com/.

By the time the fourth quarter rolls around, most of us in leadership are running on coffee, sheer willpower, and a quiet prayer that our calendars don't spontaneously combust.

We rush to cross off every single goal set in January, regardless of whether our teams actually have the bandwidth left to carry it.

In my latest chat with the incredible Dr. Jolander Headley, we unpacked why this year-end frenzy is a recipe for disaster and how we can lead with a lot more intention and a lot less chaotic exhaustion.

We laughed about our own high-octane DISC profiles, because it turns out two driven, influential leaders in one room can produce some serious sparks, but the core message was clear: if you want to retain your best talent and build a workplace that actually lasts, you have to lead yourself first. That means taking a deep breath, dropping the perfectionism, and asking ourselves what truly matters before we ask our people to do one more thing.

Key Themes

Prioritization Starts with Self-Awareness: True alignment begins when leaders drop the denial and look inward to understand how their own behavior and blind spots impact the rest of the team. "You cannot improve what you refuse to acknowledge... If you can't lead yourself well, it's challenging to lead others well. So you want to lead yourself well. Start with self-awareness."

Retention Decisions Are Made in Q4: The end of the year creates heightened anxiety and prompts employees to evaluate their career trajectories, making it critical for managers to reassess workloads rather than pushing teams to the breaking point. "As quarter four approaches, retention risks can increase. This is a time that leaders push their teams to accomplish every remaining annual goal that had been established, regardless of capacity, forcing burnout."

Shift to Sustainable Performance Over Burnout Culture: Building an enduring organization requires sustainable leaders who create proactive burnout prevention models and focus on intrinsic motivators like autonomy and personal growth. "Employees will increasingly expect their organization to demonstrate that high performance can be maintained without chaotic exhaustion. We cannot build sustainable organizations without developing sustainable leaders."

Prioritization Activities to Do with Your Team: Managers need to create space for intentional recalibration, such as evaluating team bandwidth, throwing "stay celebrations" to recognize current value, and carrying non-critical tasks into the next year. "The idea of a stay party is that you're giving the flowers while they're still there. Eelebrating the progress of the organization without being complacent."

Actionable Takeaway for Listeners: Set aside 60 minutes this week for a Q4 Priority & Capacity Audit with your team: review every remaining annual goal together, identify who is quietly becoming the go-to person for everything, and explicitly choose at least one low-impact project to pause or carry over into the new year.

Follow Dr. Jolander Headley at https://jolanderheadley.com/

Every now and then, a book comes along that completely stops me in my tracks. My conversation with Dr. Corinne Low—Wharton professor, economist, and author of Having It All—was one of those instances where data validated everything so many of us feel daily.

I loved blending storytelling with hard research as we unpacked why so many high-achieving working parents feel so exhausted.

As a working mom myself, hearing the data prove that working mothers today spend more time with their children than stay-at-home mothers did a generation ago was a massive aha moment.

We realized the progress made for women in the workplace hasn't been matched by a revolution for men at home, leaving us playing with half a deck of cards.

Together, we explored how shifting our workplace norms, setting clear boundaries, and reimagining partnership roles can build a system that actually works for everyone.

Key Themes

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Why the Workplace Is Not Working for All Genders. The traditional workplace model was built around an outdated era where employees relied on a stay-at-home partner to manage home life. While women have made huge strides entering the corporate world, men haven't experienced a parallel revolution at home, leaving working women disproportionately burdened by domestic labor.

"We had a gender revolution for women, and we did not have a gender revolution for men. We are showing up as equals in the workforce, but men are not showing up as equals at home."

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Ditch Flexibility for Boundaries. Flexibility often serves as a buzzword that leads to continuous work bleeding into personal life and eventual burnout. What employees, especially working mothers and Gen Z, actually need is predictability and hard boundaries that allow them to be full human beings outside of their jobs.

"Many women in those more structured professions say, 'No, I don't want flexibility, I want boundaries, because what flexibility often means is that you always take your work home with you and you end up very burned out.'"

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What Organizations Can Do to Engage All Genders at Work. Employers must move past the misconception that inclusion conflicts with meritocracy. By actively dismantling biases and offering structured, predictable workflows that account for real-world caregiving duties, companies attract stronger talent, boost retention, and create a true meritocracy.

"If you combat bias and some of these structural problems that keep women out of your firm, you could be moving closer to meritocracy, which means actually a competitive edge."

Actionable Takeaway

Evaluate your relationship with your career by running the unconstrained resources exercise: imagine a life with unlimited wealth and design your ideal week. Recognize that your job is a technology designed to convert time into money, and intentionally set boundaries so that work does not consume the time meant for the rest of your life.

Follow Corrine at https://www.corinnelow.com/

Scott Curran is a social impact lawyer, advisor, and educator who spent ten years in the All-Star game of global philanthropy at the Clinton Foundation .

When I sit back and look at the wacky headlines and persistent headwinds in our world right now, it can be really easy to throw up our hands .

But Scott brings us right back to the science: human beings are naturally wired for good, and our brain chemistry practically throws a party of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins whenever we do something kind or even just watch someone else do it !

Scott candidly shares how a middle-of-the-night couch conversation with his wife turned into a mission to give away a decade's worth of hard-earned tools to help leaders scale their impact . Purpose isn't just a fluffy concept. Purpose drives profits, sparks employee joy, and connects us to our shared humanity .

Key Themes & Highlights

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Humans Are Science-Backed and Wired for Good. Human beings are fundamentally built for reciprocity and community care . Despite negative news cycles, basic brain chemistry releases feel-good neurochemicals whenever we give, receive, or observe acts of kindness .

"No headline, no headwind, no culture warrior accusation can change the human reality that we are wired for good, and that it feels good when we do it, and even when we just see it."

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Starting a Purposeful Entity Requires Borrowing Success. Launching a nonprofit doesn't require reinventing the wheel because all organizations follow a predetermined regulatory lifecycle . Before starting a new entity, change-makers should first consider plugging their energy into an existing organization .

"There's approximately just under 2 million nonprofits in the United States running the gamut of all non-profit work. And the great news is they're all special, but not that unique."

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The BOPP Framework Drives Organizational Success. Sustainable, purposeful organizations rely on a balance of four core elements: a diverse, independent Board; lean Operations; clear Programs; and impactful Partnerships .

"If you want the quick approach to a great organization, I'm gonna give you four things to focus on. It's BOPP."

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Everyday Corporate Good Builds Community Connection. Organizations don't need to overcomplicate social impact; simple initiatives like corporate service days or employee donation match programs create immense shared value .

"Start where you are, focus on the causes that hit most close to home... Being aware and being intentional are the only two things I hope people take away."

Actionable Takeaway

Ask your employer if they offer an employee donation matching program to double your impact for free—and if they don't have one yet, invite your leadership team to start one !

Follow Scott at https://www.scottmcurran.com/

Positive psychology researcher and author Michelle Gielan joins us to dive into two qualities I think about a lot: optimism and resilience.

Early in my career, I used to think being optimistic meant slapping a smile on my face, grabbing a venti iced coffee, and pretending everything was fine, even when a project was burning down around me. (Spoiler alert: it doesn't work!)

Real optimism isn't about ignoring the mess. As Michelle reminded me, it's about taking a realistic assessment of the present while holding onto the belief that our actions matter. We laughed about closet optimists, shared a few messy real-world stories, and unpacked how these mindsets work hand-in-hand to transform our workplaces.

Here are the key themes from our conversation:

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Optimism vs. Resilience: Traditional optimism is the general expectation of good outcomes, whereas resilient optimism is grounded in deliberate behaviors that keep us hopeful when our plans face real-world testing.

"Optimism is basically an expectation of good things to happen and resilient optimism is optimism that stays strong when it's tested."

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Why Optimism and Resilience Matter at Work: Cultivating a resilient, optimistic mindset directly boosts performance, keeps teams engaged, and significantly lowers the risk of burnout across organizations.

"People who are in that top quartile are three times more likely to be highly engaged at their jobs and five times less likely to burn out."

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How to Instill Optimism at Work: Rather than fighting ingrained pessimism head-on, leaders can shift workplace culture by encouraging closet optimists to speak up and framing challenges around actionable solutions.

"If we can even get them to speak up ever so slightly, now we're shifting the culture. We want to talk about the challenges we've been able to overcome and why that has worked."

Actionable Takeaway

Start your next meeting with a quick possibility prompt rather than a list of problems. Ask your team to share one thing that went well this week or one solution-oriented step they can take on a current challenge to help prime their brains for constructive action.

Follow Michelle at https://michellegielan.com/resilient-optimism/

Finding balance in leadership and in life often feels like trying to do a high-wire act while juggling toddlers and a full-time career.

That is why I was thrilled to catch up with Jess Ekstrom, founder of Mic Drop Workshop and author of Making It Without Losing It.

Jess is a powerful storyteller who has built two million dollar businesses. She brings this incredible blend of real-world hustle and laugh-out-loud relatable humor.

We got into what happens when we stop chasing everyone else's definition of success and start listening to what actually fuels us.

Between tales of toddlers running yoga classes with a three-year-old and life on the road in an RV, Jess dropped some serious wisdom on how we can show up as better leaders, speakers, and advocates without burning ourselves out.

Key Themes

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Lighthouse vs. Spotlight Speaking. True impact happens when you shift your focus away from self-perception and toward serving the audience.

"Spotlight speakers go up on stage and they're concerned with perception, but a lighthouse speaker shifts the light from themselves to their audience or their listener. They're not concerned with perception, they're concerned with guidance."

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Driven by Intrinsic Motivation. Relying on external validation creates a fragile foundation for success, whereas focusing on internal purpose breeds resilience.

"If we're always looking for external validation. We can't control that, versus intrinsically, we can only control what's happening inside of us and what motivates us."

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Managing Life's Four Cups. Time and energy are finite, so managing priorities requires recognizing that not every area of life can be completely full at once.

"You have four cups: it's your relationships, your work, your health, your creativity. And then you have one jug of water every day. Every cup is not going to be at its brim. Some are going to have to suffer. And it's also temporary, and it's seasonal and shifts throughout life."

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Testing New Life Iterations. Growth doesn't require dismantling your entire life all at once. Growth can start with giving yourself permission to try new things in small doses.

"Try something on. If there is a way that you can try on a new life, a new hobby, a new idea without blowing up your life in flames that can be very doable."

Actionable Takeaway

Test an ambition for 10 minutes a day. Instead of feeling pressured to make a dramatic, high-risk leap, give yourself a two-week trial period where you dedicate just 10 minutes daily to exploring that new goal or identity without any permanent commitments.

Follow Jess at https://jessekstrom.com/

Have you ever tried dangling a carrot to get a desired behavior out of someone—whether it's offering points to your kids for clearing the dishwasher or dangling a bonus in front of your sales team—only to feel like you've created a transactional nightmare?

You're definitely not alone! In this episode of Allyship in Action, I sat down with education scientist and author Dr. Özgür Bolat to unpack why our obsession with extrinsic rewards so often backfires.

Drawing from his insightful book, The Reward Trap, Özgür helps us realize that while carrots might get temporary compliance, they secretly erode intrinsic motivation, trust, and genuine ownership.

We had a candid, funny, and deeply relatable conversation about breaking free from the points system mindset at home and work, shifting our focus from control to true connection.

Key Themes & Highlights

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Compliance vs. True Ownership: Extrinsic motivators like bonuses or points might get a task done, but they fail to foster genuine engagement or long-term commitment.

"Rewards work if you want compliance. But if you want real ownership, real intrinsic motivation, real engagement and commitment, it may not work."

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The Hidden Costs on Trust and Fairness: Over-relying on rewards often triggers feelings of unfairness among peers and erodes trust between managers and employees or parents and children.

"When there's a competition, when there's a winner, always there are some people who complain. As your manager, I start to think: Julie had the capacity... but she only did the bare minimum. Why? Then I will lose trust in you."

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How Rewards Narrow Creativity and Learning: Extrinsic incentives focus attention strictly on the immediate payout, leading people to take the easiest path rather than exploring creative solutions or deep learning.

"When you offer a reward, you narrow that focus. If you offer a reward for creative work, you know what will happen? You will treat it as a mechanical work. Rewards can increase quantity, but not the quality."

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Shift from Control to Connection: True motivation comes from understanding underlying barriers, fostering agency, and creating shared values rather than imposing transactional rules.

"In punishment and rewarding, you only care about one thing: outcome and consequences. You care about controlling. Beyond rewards, we move from control to connection."

Actionable Takeaway. Instead of reaching for a reward or a penalty the next time someone struggles with engagement, pause and move from control to connection: ask open-ended questions to uncover the root cause of the hesitation, validate their experience, and collaboratively design a solution that builds internal ownership.

Follow Ozgur at https://www.ozgurbolat.com.tr/

This week, I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with the incredible Alex Partridge—founder of UNILAD and Lad Bible, host of the ADHD Chatter podcast, and author of Why Does Everybody Hate Me?.

We dove deep into a topic that so many managers want to get right, but often feel totally lost navigating: supporting neurodiversity in the workplace, specifically when it comes to ADHD.

The first time I managed someone with ADHD, I felt lost. I wanted to be an ally and build an inclusive space, but I didn't know what real, everyday support looked like.

As Alex and I chatted, it hit me again how much untapped creativity, innovation, and resilience lies within our neurodivergent team members—if we actually build environments where they can thrive. When we take a step back, set aside our assumptions, and approach people with genuine curiosity, we don't just become better leaders, we create workplaces where everyone feels safe enough to drop the mask and bring their whole self to work.

Key Takeaways & Themes

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Understanding Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). "Children with ADHD are exposed to 20,000 extra micro-rejections in their formative years. Over a child's life, they add up, they compound, and they create an adult who suffers from extreme emotional pain when someone criticizes you or rejects you as an adult."

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Recognizing the Worksite Manifestations of RSD. "If you are living your life constantly expecting criticism or rejection around every single corner, you put up a guard to protect yourself. It means you can't do anything unless it's perfect. You'll stay in the office four hours later than everyone else, or you'll stay up all night simply to complete that work to such a high standard because the thought of your boss even making a tiny correction to it is so painful."

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Building Psychological Safety from the Top Down."When people in the office observe vulnerability coming from the top, that trickles down to them, and it creates the impression that if they ask for help. It sends the message that they can make that ask without fear of it being met with any kind of eye roll."

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The High Cost of Failing to Accommodate Neurodiversity."80% of neurodivergent employees actually leave a company within three months post-the hiring stage because they are too anxious in that environment to do the job that they're able to do."

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Fostering Allyship Through Curiosity Rather Than Judgment. "Approach the whole conversation with curiosity rather than judgment. Always have an open mind and have that curiosity to ask yourself, 'Maybe that is the better way to do it?' When that mindset shifts, then suddenly there's a whole door of possibilities that open up to you."

Concluding Actionable Takeaway

Leading with Open-Ended Support: Instead of singling employees out by pointing to specific neurodivergent traits or diagnosing behaviors, leaders should proactively offer broad, company-wide avenues for help—and regularly ask a simple, open-ended question like, "Is there anything I can help you with?" or "Do you want five minutes to think about that assignment before taking it on?"

Follow Alex at https://www.alex-partridge.com/

Welcome back to Allyship in Action! If you've been working in the diversity and inclusion space over the past few years, you know the corporate pendulum hasn't just swung—it's done full-on gymnastics. We've gone from the hyper-reactive commitments of 2020 to the nervous retreats of recent years, leaving many leaders wondering where to anchor themselves. I had the absolute joy of catching up with the brilliant Nani Vishwanath—a strategic leader at The Current Collective—who reminded me that when the external noise gets deafening, the answer isn't to duck and cover; it's to look inward. Nani brings a grounded, refreshingly practical perspective to systemic change (plus, anyone who can turn a conversation about helmet design for big hair into a masterclass on business strategy is my kind of human!). We dove deep into why true inclusion isn't an HR add-on, but a fundamental driver of business resilience.

Key Themes

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7 Whys Organizations often react to external pressures—whether chasing trends or dodging backlash—leading to fragile, unsustainable DEI strategies. Building an enduring foundation requires pushing past surface-level motives by continuously asking "why" until inclusion aligns directly with the core purpose and long-term success of the business.

"If all of your leaders can do that [the 7 whys], the work is going to be so much more successful. And it should really be because of where we're trying to go strategically as a company..." — Nani Vishwanath

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Inclusive Design — With, Not For Designing workplace systems or products for marginalized communities without active collaboration misses the mark. True inclusive design builds with those who experience the most friction, uncovering systemic improvements that ultimately elevate the experience for everyone.

"Build with and for those that are most marginalized or who face the biggest barriers... learn from their experiences with them, and then build something better. And it just leads to better design." — Nani Vishwanath

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Money is the Outcome — Relevance Diversity and inclusion are not merely cost centers or reactive PR measures; financial returns, innovation rates, and retention are downstream outcomes of staying relevant to an evolving workforce and customer base.

"I think the money is truly an outcome of better design... the word I come back to a lot is relevance... you need to remain relevant to both your employees and to your consumers." — Nani Vishwanath

Actionable Takeaway for Listeners

Before rolling out your next inclusion initiative or revising a workplace policy, gather the team closest to the friction and run the 7 Whys exercise together. Keep asking "why" until you uncover a core reason that directly serves both your internal culture and your external business purpose.

Today we have Dr. Zeke Emanuel, whose new book Eat Your Ice Cream takes a refreshingly sensible look at longevity and what it actually takes to build a happy, healthy life.

As an oncologist and world-renowned expert in bioethics and health policy, Dr. Emanuel has spent decades navigating complex medical landscapes—so when he talks about living better, I listen!

What I love most about his approach is that he bypasses the extreme health trends and cuts straight to sustainable, real-world habits. We had such a fun conversation, diving into everything from the real math behind everyday risks to why building genuine human connection might just be your most powerful health routine.

Key Takeaways

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Prioritize Life-Long Habits Over Extreme Trends. True longevity is built on sustainable, everyday choices rather than short-term self-deprivation or trendy fads.

"You're going to have to do this for decades. And if you do it for decades it's got to be a habit that isn't about self-deprivation, because you will not stick to a habit that's self-depriving."

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Ground Risk in Perspective and Practical Action. People often fixate on sensationalized health risks or obsess over performance metrics, whereas practical risk assessment leads to far better peace of mind and realistic decisions.

"Let's put things in perspective—and not enough people put things in perspective of how 'schmucky' are you. If you're doing [a metric or wearable] for compliance and it's not a motivator, it's anxiety-provoking—stop doing it."

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Nurture Social Connections as a Core Biological Health Routine. Building and maintaining strong relationships isn't just psychologically pleasant. Relationships (like allyship) directly impact stress hormones, inflammation, and overall physiological well-being.

"It's not just in your head, as it were, but it is in your biology. The importance of relationships for health, wellness, and longevity is the most important thing you can do."

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Keep Learning and Stay Open to Nuanced Science. Cognitive health thrives on challenging the brain with new experiences, alongside maintaining an openness to evolving medical insights rather than rigid dogmatism.

"It's good to use your brain in different ways. I'm always open. We've got to be open to new ideas and new research."

Actionable Takeaway for Listeners

Turn your wellness routines into social events. Whether it's inviting a friend along for your daily walk, joining a local club, or sharing a whole-food meal with family, combining social connection with healthy habits amplifies the physical and emotional benefits of both.

Follow Dr. Emanuel at https://www.ezekielemanuel.com/

As an author and allyship advocate, I constantly find myself researching the power of human connection, yet I still fall into the same social traps as everyone else!

We all intellectually know that relationships are vital to our health and happiness, yet we consistently talk ourselves out of simple, daily opportunities to connect.

In this episode, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Nicholas Epley, behavioral science professor and author of A Little More Social. Nick's research translates complex social cognition into real, actionable insights that completely reframed how I think about my own social habits—from asking for help to bridging differences.

Key Themes

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Our Beliefs and Miscalibrated Expectations Create Social Barriers. We often avoid social interaction not because we dislike connecting, but because we wrongly assume others won't respond positively to us. We hold mistaken, pessimistic beliefs that reaching out, asking for help, or expressing gratitude will be awkward or unwelcome.

"We think other people will respond less positively when we reach out to connect with them in a warm and friendly way than other people actually do. And that pessimism creates a bar, a barrier, that keeps us from reaching out more often." — Nicholas Epley

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Frequency Trumps Intensity for Well-Being. Social connection is a choice made up of moments we regularly miss. Small, consistent, daily interactions have a much larger impact on long-term happiness than rare, intense social events.

"Psychologists have learned that happiness is really a function not of the intensity of experiences that you have, but rather the frequency of them." — Nick Epley

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In-Person Conversations Surface Common Ground Across Divides. When we interact with people who hold opposing political views or come from different backgrounds, actual spoken conversations are remarkably effective at reducing dehumanization and building mutual understanding.

"Conversation itself is extremely powerful for surfacing common ground, for allowing people to show mutual interest, to reciprocate interest with each other. They report afterwards that having a conversation with someone they disagree with was actually just as pleasant an experience as having a conversation with someone they agree with." — Nick Epley

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Allyship and Outreach are Appreciated More Than We Guess. Whether it is expressing long-overdue gratitude to a former mentor or reaching out to support someone different from us, the recipient values the interaction far more than the initiator anticipates.

"It turns out there's no bad time to get a note from somebody saying they appreciate you so much, or you love them so much, right? There's no bad time to get that." — Nick Epley

Actionable Takeaway for Listeners

Adopt the "Recognize Easy Opportunities Routinely" (REOR) mindset: Start noticing the moments where you default to avoiding connection—like walking into the office or sitting in a car—and turn them into small, routine social habits.

I was so thrilled to sit down again with my dear friends and true allies, Dave Smith and Brad Johnson . Every time we connect, it feels like a warm reminder of what sustained, meaningful allyship really looks like—not just showing up when it's trending, but doing the steady, daily work that actually moves the needle.

Listening to them walk through their allyship trilogy, from Athena Rising to The Good Guys and now their latest book, Fair Share, brought back so many memories of my own journey navigating corporate America as a new mom. (Trust me, I've shed my fair share of tears over spilled milk in a workplace closet!)

What I love most about Brad and Dave is how they balance deep research with practical, real-world solutions that lift everyone up. They remind us that creating gender fairness isn't just about asking individual allies to do more. It's about fixing the broken systems so doing the right thing becomes the default.

Key Themes

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Caregiving Skills Build Better Workplace Leaders

Active caregiving and fatherhood develop crucial human skills like empathy and emotional intelligence, which directly transfer into effective leadership at work.

"Dad's brains begin to shift and change, too. We're developing these skills around empathy that translates right back into the workplace when we go back to work." — David Smith

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Moving from Individual Allyship to Systemic Change

Relying solely on individual (s)heroics isn't enough to achieve true equity. Organizations must embed allyship and gender fairness directly into company policies, metrics, and manager training.

"All of these ally efforts are gonna be sort of one by one by one forever. Until the workplace changes, you see all the estimates that we have about a century to go to get to real gender parity." — Brad Johnson

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Supporting Paid Leave and Caregiving Transitions

Creating a culture that normalizes and actively plans for parental and caregiving leave for both mothers and fathers improves employee retention and strengthens managerial capabilities.

"Think about the work that's gotta be done when he or she leaves the workforce for this paid leave period, the transition back into the workforce with a plan. The minute you can do that, you're making better managers." — David Smith

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Unlocking Hidden Talent Through Returnships

Organizations facing talent shortages can tap into a massive, highly qualified pool of candidates by creating clear pathways for individuals returning to the workforce after extended caregiving breaks.

"Organizations aren't looking at those women, and they're forgetting that. Half the people at the top of the curve on IQ, EQ, creativity, they're out there if you would only create a glide path to return to your organization." — Brad Johnson

Actionable Takeaway for Listeners

Audit and support your managerial capabilities: To move from individual efforts to systemic fairness, organizations must carefully select managers based on competencies and actively train them to execute flexible work policies, support parental leave transitions, and lead inclusively.

Follow Brad and Dave's work at https://workplaceallies.com/

If you've ever found yourself scrolling through social media, wondering if we are somehow slipping backward into the dark ages of workplace dynamics, you are definitely not alone. It is easy to look at the massive rise of toxic online ecosystems and feel a bit of existential dread. That is why I talked with Robert Baker, who always grounds me. He has this incredible gift for taking a heavy, whack-a-mole topic and infusing it with actionable clarity. We dive deep into why male allyship isn't about being an individual superhero, how global shifts are impacting our teams, and why—despite the algorithmic headwinds—there is still so much room for hope and real human connection.

Key Themes From Our Conversation

The Evolution of the Manosphere and Its Workplace Impact: We unpacked the troubling rise of the "manosphere"—an online ecosystem of influencers exploiting young men's loneliness to promote dominance and misogyny. Robert noted how this spills directly into the attitudes of the next generation entering our workforce. "I can't believe that people think these men are heroes, because basically what they're doing is they're exploiting the loneliness, the misery that younger boys and men can have. And these guys have kind of filled the vacuum with this misogyny." — Robert Baker

The Power of Community Over Individual Heroism: True allyship isn't about being a lone savior; it's about creating a culture of positive peer pressure and shared community standards where calling out exclusionary behavior doesn't feel like a dangerous, solo mission. "I think creating an environment where you say, look, here are the standards of behavior in our community, and police it in a way. Using those standards to make sure that we all stick to something very positive." — Robert Baker

The Business Imperative of DEI in Europe: While the U.S. landscape faces its own unique hurdles, European organizations continue to lean heavily into diversity and inclusion goals. This isn't just about compliance; it's driven by a firm understanding that diverse teams deliver better performance and innovation. "Europe still believes in this. I think many companies in Europe still believe in it, but they believe in it for business reasons, because they believe that they're going to get better team performance, they think diverse teams are better." — Robert Baker

Mitigating Algorithmic Bias and Ensuring Equitable AI Access: Artificial intelligence is a major inflection point for gender equity. Leaders must actively step up to manage inherent data biases and ensure that access to exciting tech developments isn't monopolized by the traditional majority. "Certainly I'm seeing an even greater recognition that leaders need to enable equitable access to AI tools, and also make sure that the systems and the processes that are used within the company that uses AI create fair outcomes." — Robert Baker

Actionable Takeaway for Listeners

Create Positive Peer Pressure: Don't try to be a lone hero. Focus on building a community within your organization that establishes clear, respectful standards of behavior. By normalizing everyday micro-interventions collectively—like speaking up when someone is talked over in a meeting—you make inclusion the default system rather than an individual burden.

How do we actually live out psychological safety, rather than just talking about it as some grand, academic theory?

A couple of years ago, Minette Norman and Karolin Helbig came out with the Psychological Safety Playbook. I've been using her practical phrases in my own training sessions ever since (with full credit, of course!). But as any facilitator, parent, or human being knows, putting this stuff into practice is darn hard. You want to be the supportive expert, but then real-world pressures—like meeting targets, sudden organizational shifts, or just plain old fear of looking foolish—kick in.

That's why I sat down with them to talk about their new follow-up book. They wrote it because change-makers kept coming to them on tour, saying, "Okay, we read the basics, but now we're hitting roadblocks. What next?" What I love about their approach is that it's completely "no fluff." They give us real, actionable strategies to bake inclusion right into the DNA of our everyday work life, even when things get a little messy.

Key Themes from the Discussion

Courage as Vulnerability, Not Heroics. True leadership in a psychologically safe environment isn't about having a flawless track record or acting like a superhero. It requires the humility to acknowledge that you don't have all the answers and to actively invite your team to fill in your blind spots.

"It's not about the big heroic acts. It's really about the courage to be vulnerable, for example. Particularly as a leader, that's not easy to do..." — Karolin Helbig

The Intentional Practice of Listening. Listening is often treated as an obvious, baseline skill, but true listening requires a conscious commitment to sit with silence and process what is being said, rather than rushing to respond or dominate the room.

"It sounds so obvious that we all know how to do it... and it is so darn hard, right? It really is. And we often think we're listening when we're not." — Minette Norman

Recognizing Personal Emotional Triggers. Building psychological safety is a slow process that can be shattered instantly by an unmanaged, defensive reaction. Developing self-awareness around your own physical stress signals helps create a vital pause between a trigger and your response.

"Psychological safety is really slow to build and quick to break. And if you can avoid these breaks. By becoming more aware of your reactions and handling them more skillfully, then a lot is gained." — Karolin Helbig

Shifting the Narrative Around Failure. For teams to innovate, leaders must actively destigmatize mistakes. This means moving away from finger-pointing and instead treating unexpected outcomes as valuable learning experiments, a process that must be modeled from the top down.

"If you're trying something new, and certainly if we're trying to innovate, there will be failure along the way. So the question is, how quickly can we learn from them and improve and move forward?" — Minette Norman

Designing for Inclusion via Rotating Roles. Inclusion doesn't happen by accident; it has to be deliberately engineered into team dynamics. Using a rotating role like an "Inclusion Booster" ensures that monitoring the health of a meeting becomes a shared team habit rather than solely the leader's responsibility.

"Meetings by default are not inclusive. So we need to design them for inclusion. The idea of the inclusion booster is just to have a rotating role of somebody in facilitating the meeting and paying attention that we actually behave in the way we earlier defined." — Karolin Helbig

Actionable Takeaway for Listeners

To move your team from theory to practice, introduce the "Inclusion Booster" role into your next recurring meeting. Rotate this responsibility among different team members each week, tasking them with observing meeting dynamics, ensuring equal airtime, and calling out interruptions using a lighthearted tool like the "ELMO" (Enough, Let's Move On) principle.

Follow Karolin and Minette at https://thepsychologicalsafetyplaybook.com/

You might remember Katryn from episode 292, where we dove deep into the behavioral blueprint for inclusion. Well, a lot can happen in a year—or in our current case, since the wild ride of the 2026 election—and the DEI landscape is shifting beneath our feet. I'll admit, when I first started this work ten years ago, I thought we could just shout from the rooftops that inclusion matters and everyone would just magically get it. But as we look at the headlines today, it's clear that "shiny object syndrome" has left us with a lot of noise and not enough real, systemic change.

Katryn and I sit down to unpack what global leaders are actually doing right now to push past the performative and get to the heart of what makes workplaces genuinely fair.

Key Themes from the Conversation

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Moving from Noise to Systemic Change. Organizations frequently focus on highly public, performative declarations of inclusivity rather than restructuring the underlying processes that perpetuate bias.

"Organizations were doing a lot of the shiny stuff... doing what we would call noisy things, right? Proclaiming, saying, being public... but obviously that not necessarily translating to real-world change." — Katryn Wright

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The Problem with Unconscious Bias Training. Treating broad, one-size-fits-all training modules as a standalone solution is ineffective and can create artificial metrics that trigger cultural backlash.

"An awful amount of money was spent on something that the science shows is... ineffective at best, counterproductive at worst." — Katryn Wright

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Inclusion as an Aspiration, Not a Default Value. Framing inclusion as a predefined company value mistakenly implies that the work is already complete, whereas framing it as an ongoing aspiration invites employees to actively participate in closing the gap.

"When we talk about inclusion as a value, it is not as effective as when we talk about inclusion as an aspirational goal... it suggests that we've been missing a trick to be bringing people on as much as we can." — Katryn Wright

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Precision and Data Science in Workplace Fairness. True progress requires identifying the exact inflection points in employee experiences—like hiring, promotion, and retention stages—where disparities emerge, and applying targeted behavioral interventions.

"Let's go and be as precise as possible about changing behavior in that exact situation... when we are able to be as precise as possible about which specific behaviors need to change, we can get to those outcomes." — Katryn Wright

Actionable Takeaway for Listeners

Stop trying to de-bias your entire team all at once with sweeping declarations. Instead, pick one specific process in your daily workflow—whether it's how you audit resumes, run performance reviews, or distribute project assignments—and analyze the data to find where the equity gaps lie. Designing small, targeted interventions at precise moments is how real cultural evolution happens.

Follow Katryn at https://www.morethannow.co.uk/

Sad to admit, after 350+ episodes, I have never dedicated a full show to sleep . I'll be the first to admit that I've been doing a ton of deep-diving into sleep lately. Between life changes, career shifts, and navigating perimenopause, my nights haven't exactly been peaceful . In fact, coming off a rough night myself, I'm sitting here with a massive afternoon coffee, fully aware that I reached for a sugary lunch to get through the slump!

We've all been trapped in that vicious cycle, right ?

But today, we are busting the toxic, old-school corporate narrative that sleeping is lazy or just for babies. To help us break it down, I'm joined by the brilliant Dr. Carlos Nunez, Chief Medical Officer at ResMed . Carlos brings decades of medical expertise—and some truly humbling personal stories—to show us why sleep isn't just a healthy habit. Sleep is the absolute foundation of inclusive, effective leadership and a kinder workplace .

Key Themes from the Conversation

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The Foundational Pillar of Human Health

For decades, society has obsessed over diet and exercise trends, while treating sleep deprivation like a corporate badge of honor . In reality, sleep is the baseline that determines whether those other health goals even happen .

"People are starting to realize it's not just one of the three pillars, it's probably the foundation on which the other two pillars sit." — Dr. Carlos Nunez

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The Direct Link Between Poor Sleep and Workplace Behavior

A severe lack of sleep impairs cognitive function and emotional regulation to a level equivalent to intoxication, which directly drives erratic, negative, or toxic leadership behaviors in the workplace .

"I was extremely sleep-deprived, and I remember being in a meeting, and I went off, like, in a way that I've never done before. I probably looked scary to my team because I was so sleep-deprived." — Dr. Carlos Nunez

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The Hidden Danger of Digital Engagement

While blue light filters are helpful, the real disruptor keeping our minds awake at night is the mental stimulation and chemical rushes from pre-bedtime screen use.

"What's worse than the light is the activation of your nervous system. The dopamine hits that you get from doomscrolling TikTok or social media for 30 minutes." — Dr. Carlos Nunez

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The Biological Toll of Untreated Sleep Disorders

Ignoring long-term sleep issues due to ego or stigma does more than cause daytime fatigue—it starves the body of oxygen and significantly escalates severe cardiovascular and long-term cognitive health risks .

"The research shows untreated sleep apnea, within 3 years, you have a 35% chance of dying... Your risk for cardiovascular mortality is 55%." — Dr. Carlos Nunez

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The Mind-Quieting Power of Arbitrary Focus

When workplace stress and a lack of situational closure spark late-night rumination, shifting the brain toward simple, structured mental exercises can effectively short-circuit intrusive thoughts .

"Getting your brain to focus on something that's really not thinking, that's kind of easy to do, all of a sudden, you drift off." — Dr. Carlos Nunez

One Actionable Takeaway

To protect your health and show up better for your team, establish a strict 30-minute digital wind-down routine before bed. Swap out the late-night doomscrolling or email checking for a period of quiet mindfulness. If your brain starts ruminating on tomorrow's to-do list, physically write down those 3 or 4 lingering tasks on a notepad to trick your mind into a sense of closure, or practice a simple, low-stakes mental word game to help your nervous system gently drift off .

Learn more about Carlos' research at https://sleepsurvey.resmed.com/

When I started my business, I wanted to create spaces where every single person felt seen, heard, and like they truly belonged . It sounds so beautifully simple on the surface, doesn't it? But as we all know, making sure people feel heard at work can get incredibly messy .

This week, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with a peer of mine from grad school, Daniel Newton, an Associate Professor at the University of Iowa, whose research on workplace engagement is quite literally out of this world . He's spent years studying how people speak up and stay engaged, working with everyone from corporate teams to actual astronauts aboard the International Space Station .

Now, I always say that if an astronaut floating in zero gravity can feel ignored by Mission Control, it's okay if your team is struggling to communicate during shift changes ! Daniel and I shared some great laughs about the black box of office suggestion boxes (which usually just collect dust and some very chaotic notes) and how we can all become better allies by lifting each other's ideas .

Key Themes from the Conversation

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Even Astronauts Struggle to Feel Heard. Feeling heard requires more than just listening. Speaking up requires responsive action or transparent feedback . When leaders or institutions fail to act, it creates a sense of being ignored, even in high-stakes environments like space exploration .

"I worked with an astronaut that literally shared an idea with Mission Control and they didn't do anything, so he had to say it again, and then again. Even people that train for years and years, and have the complete trust of NASA, even they don't feel heard in their work sometimes." – Daniel Newton

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The Power of the Newcomer Perspective. People often hesitate to speak up because they are new, young, or feel like an imposter . However, fresh eyes bring the highest level of creative disruption and innovation to long-standing, status-quo systems .

"The newcomer perspective is really valuable because you're gonna see things differently. And so we may hesitate to speak up because we feel like we're too new." – Daniel Newton

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Problems Drive Action, While Ideas Risk the Back Burner. Voicing workplace problems creates an immediate sense of urgency that forces management to respond and implement solutions quickly . The paradox is that while problems get fixed, proactive and creative new ideas are often pushed aside .

"Creating urgency means that managers respond faster, and the company is more likely to implement and resolve those problems. But the downside of that potentially could be that new, yet important ideas get put on the back burner." – Daniel Newton

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AI as a Useful Sounding Board, Not a Human Replacement. Artificial intelligence serves as a fantastic, low-stakes rehearsal partner to build confidence before pitching ideas . While AI excels at optimizing usefulness and efficiency, human input remains essential for true originality and novel thinking .

"AI-generated ideas were really good with the usefulness component. But the humans were really good at the originality component. If we're generating new ideas, we need the human in the loop." – Daniel Newton

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The Power of Indirect Framing (The "Midwest Nice" Strategy). For those who struggle to be blunt, framing an idea or problem as a collaborative question lowers defensiveness in dominant leaders and invites them into the solution rather than putting them on the defensive .

"Have we thought about X? Or might we consider doing this? Being indirect, asking or speaking up in the form of a question is helpful because it didn't put leaders on the spot. They don't feel as threatened." – Daniel Newton

One Actionable Takeaway

To help an idea land successfully with a dominant supervisor or to ease your own anxiety about speaking up, frame your insight as a question (e.g., "I wonder if we might consider..." or "Have we looked at...") rather than a direct mandate . This invites collaboration, lowers leadership defensiveness, and creates an immediate open door for your perspective to be heard .

Jenny Bates Heaton is the founder of Bates Leadership and has a brilliant new TEDx talk.

What really blew me away during our chat was how Jenny used her personal journey facing a massive medical decision after a cancer-risk mutation diagnosis to completely rewrite the script on how we make choices.

It got me thinking about my own life and how often we make decisions based on what we think we should do, rather than what aligns with our deepest values. For me, everything comes back to fairness, justice, and a whole lot of strength. When things feel off-balance in the world, my mental health definitely takes a hit with serious anxiety, but anchoring into those core values is what keeps me grounded.

Jenny's framework isn't just a clinical exercise. It's a warm, slightly humorous, and deeply practical guide to finding your own word—whether that's power, strong, or serenity—and letting it do the guiding when life is A LOT.

Key Themes From the Conversation

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The Power of Personal Reflection Prompts: True decision-making frameworks cannot be imported from someone else. Decisions must be organically mined from an individual's unique motivations and joys.

"I started circulating my questions to everyone, and I didn't really get any reaction from people. because they weren't their questions. They didn't focus on their values. Now, I guide people through exercises to pull out their word to guide their decisions." — Jenny Bates Heaton

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The Intersection of Imposed Limitations and Good Intentions: Well-meaning colleagues often inadvertently sideline individuals, particularly from historically marginalized groups, by assuming their needs or limitations rather than asking them directly.

"People with the best of intentions trying to protect me said, 'Oh gosh, I know you're going through a lot so let's catch up in a couple of months.' I had to advocate for myself quite a bit to convince them like, 'No, no, I'm good.'" — Jenny Bates Heaton

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Shifting toward Employee-Led Talent Management: Organizations must move away from paternalistic, closed-door succession and promotion processes and actively integrate the employee's voice to reduce systemic bias.

"Think about how many times you don't have the employee's voice in the room for talent review and for promotions. Most companies do not allow an employee to put their name in the box for the roles that they would like to apply for. That's weird." — Jenny Bates Heaton

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Embracing the "Good Day, Bad Day" Culture: Cultivating psychological safety in a corporate system requires acknowledging that organizations, like people, will have off days without those mistakes defining their permanent identity.

"The good day, bad day is one of my favorite exercises because it gives you permission to talk about the bad because it's just a day. It doesn't mean that you're always going to be bad, everyone has a bad day. Corporate culture personas are very much that way with good days and bad days just like humans." — Jenny Bates Heaton

Actionable Takeaway

Audit your favorite activities to find your decision-making anchor. Take a notebook and write down one or two hobbies you love to do consistently (like gardening, skiing, or reading). Ask yourself: What is the underlying feeling or motivation that compels me to keep doing this? Distill that feeling into a single core word—such as strength, control, or connectedness—and actively use that word as a litmus test for the next major professional or personal decision you have to make.

Connect with Jenny at https://www.batesleadership.com/