Blourish & Flotts: Beautifully Retold

A Most Inconvenient Devotion: an original adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare — Chapter 32 — The Malfoy Library

Back at Malfoy Manor, a hard-won triumph gives Draco and Hermione a chance to celebrate. But Hermione's idea of relaxation involves learning one of Draco's most complicated protective wards, and their impromptu exchange of arithmancy and ancient runes proves unexpectedly stimulating. Between mathematical brilliance, merciless teasing, and an unfortunate magical mishap, Draco finds his self-control facing a rather formidable challenge.

When an overdue birthday present leads them into the Malfoy library, their playful negotiations take a more personal turn. Some things, it seems, are considerably harder to resist than others.

About This Production

A Most Inconvenient Devotion is an original prose adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love, the beloved fanfiction by isthisselfcare. This adaptation preserves the story's central events, distinctive humour, romantic tension, and unforgettable characters while presenting the narrative in a refined audiobook format.

Pertinent Links

• Original Story: Read Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare on Archive of Our Own
• Community: Join our Discord community

Lily's Boy by SomewheresSword — Chapter 106

With Voldemort defeated, Harry and his friends turn their attention to the future of magical Britain. A historic gathering of the Wizengamot sees a new generation claiming their birthrights, Severus Snape stepping out of the shadows of his past, and Susan Bones making it abundantly clear that the Ministry is about to experience some rather significant changes.

But while celebrations sweep across the country and the wizarding world begins to rebuild, victory brings its own complications. For Harry, the weight of everything that has happened cannot be swept away quite so easily. As the excitement fades and difficult emotions surface, he must confront what it truly means to move forward after a war—and discover that even the most powerful wizard sometimes needs someone to lean on.

About This Production

This episode features a faithful reading of Chapter 106 of Lily's Boy, the Harry Potter fanfiction written by SomewheresSword. The narration preserves the original story's characters, dialogue, emotional depth, and unfolding events, bringing this chapter of Harry's journey to life in audiobook form.

A Most Inconvenient Devotion: an original adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare — Chapter 31 — The First Dose

Spain is over, but Draco and Hermione are finding it difficult to pretend that the night they have agreed not to discuss never happened. With November’s full moon drawing closer, Hermione races to complete the proto-Sanitatem while Draco pursues Greyback with mounting urgency. A celebration at the newly restored Janus Thickey Ward offers a moment of joy, a thoroughly unwelcome conversation, and a reminder of just how much is riding on the first dose.

About This Production

A Most Inconvenient Devotion is an original prose adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare. This narrated adaptation preserves the original story’s central events, character relationships, sharp humour, and slow-burning romance while reshaping the prose for an immersive listening experience. Full credit for the original fanfiction belongs to isthisselfcare.

Pertinent Links

• Read the original fanfiction: Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare on Archive of Our Own
• Join the community: Connect with fellow listeners on Discord

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen — Chapter 2

Mr. Bennet has quietly called on the newly arrived Mr. Bingley without telling his wife, and the household learns of it only by accident. Elizabeth, bent over a hat she is trimming, finds herself caught between her mother's nerves and her father's dry teasing about who should make the introduction.

Mrs. Bennet swings from scolding Kitty's coughing to rapturous delight, while Mr. Bennet enjoys every moment of the commotion he has caused. Lydia has her own confident opinion about her chances at the next ball, and the evening ends with the family planning their next move.

About This Production
This episode is part of a faithful reading of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Pertinent Links

• Read the original work
• Join the community on Discord

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen — Chapter 1

The Bennet household of Longbourn is buzzing with news: Netherfield Park has been let at last, and Mrs. Bennet is certain a wealthy bachelor will soon arrive. Mr. Bennet, dry and unhurried, takes a far less eager view of the matter, and the two trade quick exchanges over whether the new tenant is worth a visit at all.

Austen opens the story with its most famous line and a sharp portrait of a marriage built on different temperaments. Mrs. Bennet's nerves, her matchmaking zeal, and her husband's teasing reserve set the tone for a family where five daughters' futures are always on the table.

About This Production
This episode is part of a faithful reading of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Pertinent Links

• Read the original work
• Join the community on Discord

Lily's Boy by SomewheresSword — Chapter 103

Hogwarts has become a fortress as Harry organizes training groups, welcomes new allies, and prepares for the battle that will determine everything. But with unfamiliar faces filling the castle and Voldemort's forces gathering beyond its walls, the question of whom to trust becomes increasingly dangerous.

Luna struggles beneath the weight of countless possible futures, while a horrifying incident during training threatens the fragile sense of security within Hogwarts. As Harry searches for a way to draw Voldemort into a confrontation on his own terms, the approaching battle forces everyone to confront what they stand to lose. Amid the uncertainty, Harry and Draco find comfort in each other and in the family they've built, holding tightly to the precious moments that remain before everything changes.

About This Production

This episode presents a faithful reading of Chapter 103 of Lily's Boy, a Harry Potter fanfiction story written by SomewheresSword. The reading preserves the original story, its characters, dialogue, and emotional moments.

A Most Inconvenient Devotion: an original adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare — Chapter 30 — Pandora's Box

With Greyback running out of places to hide, Draco turns his formidable Legilimency upon Larsen, uncovering disturbing secrets about the conspiracy against Hermione. But as one dangerous chapter draws towards its conclusion, an intriguing lead on Pandora's box sends Draco and Hermione towards an elusive collector in Spain—and a rather audacious plan involving one of wizarding history's most legendary artefacts.

Between ancient magical mysteries, questionable interpretations of the law, and an unexpectedly eventful autumn afternoon, the pair find themselves navigating territory considerably more complicated than their latest adventure. And as Samhain approaches, some things become increasingly difficult to leave unspoken.

About This Production

A Most Inconvenient Devotion is an original audiobook adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love, the beloved Harry Potter fanfiction by isthisselfcare. This adaptation presents the romantic adventure in reshaped narrative prose while preserving its central story, characters, humour, and emotional developments.

Pertinent Links

• Read the original work by isthisselfcare on Archive of Our Own
• Join our Discord community

Lily's Boy by SomewheresSword — Chapter 103

Hogwarts has become a fortress as Harry organizes training groups, welcomes new allies, and prepares for the battle that will determine everything. But with unfamiliar faces filling the castle and Voldemort's forces gathering beyond its walls, the question of whom to trust becomes increasingly dangerous.

Luna struggles beneath the weight of countless possible futures, while a horrifying incident during training threatens the fragile sense of security within Hogwarts. As Harry searches for a way to draw Voldemort into a confrontation on his own terms, the approaching battle forces everyone to confront what they stand to lose. Amid the uncertainty, Harry and Draco find comfort in each other and in the family they've built, holding tightly to the precious moments that remain before everything changes.

About This Production

This episode presents a faithful reading of Chapter 103 of Lily's Boy, a Harry Potter fanfiction story written by SomewheresSword. The reading preserves the original story, its characters, dialogue, and emotional moments.

A Most Inconvenient Devotion: an original adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare — Chapter 29 — The Witching Hour

In the aftermath of a harrowing day, Draco retreats into the quiet of Malfoy Manor, only to confront a realization more terrifying than any threat he has faced: Hermione Granger has become dangerously precious to him. Professional boundaries, emotional self-preservation, and his carefully maintained independence are proving increasingly difficult to reconcile with what he actually wants.

Then a chance encounter in the darkened corridors, an elderly cat with questionable hunting abilities, and an unexpectedly intimate conversation at the terrace window threaten to unravel everything. As Samhain approaches and the witching hour deepens, Draco discovers that maintaining their delicate equilibrium may be an impossible undertaking.

About This Production

A Most Inconvenient Devotion is an audiobook adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love, the original fanfiction by isthisselfcare. This retelling preserves the story's romantic tension, sharp humor, beloved characters, and unfolding mysteries while presenting the narrative in an adapted novel format.

Pertinent Links

• Read the original story by isthisselfcare on Archive of Our Own
• Join our Discord community

I hope you enjoy this reading of All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89.

Author Summary: LONG fic charting the marauders' time at Hogwarts (and beyond) from Remus' PoV - diversion from canon in that Remus's father died and he was raised in a children's home, and is a bit rough around the edges. Otherwise canon-compliant.
1971 - 1995

This IS a wolfstar fic, but incredibly slow burn. Literally years. Long build up but worth it I promise!

Pertinent Links:

• Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057010/navigate

• Join My Discord: ⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/52FpTyvezY⁠⁠⁠

Lily's Boy by SomewheresSword — Chapter 103

Hogwarts has become a fortress as Harry organizes training groups, welcomes new allies, and prepares for the battle that will determine everything. But with unfamiliar faces filling the castle and Voldemort's forces gathering beyond its walls, the question of whom to trust becomes increasingly dangerous.

Luna struggles beneath the weight of countless possible futures, while a horrifying incident during training threatens the fragile sense of security within Hogwarts. As Harry searches for a way to draw Voldemort into a confrontation on his own terms, the approaching battle forces everyone to confront what they stand to lose. Amid the uncertainty, Harry and Draco find comfort in each other and in the family they've built, holding tightly to the precious moments that remain before everything changes.

About This Production

This episode presents a faithful reading of Chapter 103 of Lily's Boy, a Harry Potter fanfiction story written by SomewheresSword. The reading preserves the original story, its characters, dialogue, and emotional moments.

A Most Inconvenient Devotion: an original adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare — Chapter 28 — The Room Without Magic

One spectacularly ill-advised kiss leaves Draco and Hermione scrambling to remember the professional boundaries they have just enthusiastically demolished. Both insist that alcohol is entirely to blame, although their increasingly awkward attempts to behave normally suggest otherwise.

But romance must take a back seat as the hunter's moon approaches and Greyback's campaign of terror escalates. When a devastating attack at King's Hall sends Draco racing to Hermione's rescue, the confrontation takes an unexpected turn. Stripped of the magic they have always relied upon, they must survive through ingenuity, instinct, and a willingness to fight by decidedly unconventional means.

About This Production

A Most Inconvenient Devotion is an audiobook adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love, the original fanfiction by isthisselfcare. This adapted telling follows Draco and Hermione through danger, sharp-edged humour, reluctant vulnerability, and an increasingly inconvenient romance.

Pertinent Links

• Read the original fanfiction by isthisselfcare on Archive of Our Own
• Join our Discord community

I hope you enjoy this reading of All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89.

Author Summary: LONG fic charting the marauders' time at Hogwarts (and beyond) from Remus' PoV - diversion from canon in that Remus's father died and he was raised in a children's home, and is a bit rough around the edges. Otherwise canon-compliant.
1971 - 1995

This IS a wolfstar fic, but incredibly slow burn. Literally years. Long build up but worth it I promise!

Pertinent Links:

• Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057010/navigate

• Join My Discord: ⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/52FpTyvezY⁠⁠⁠

I hope you enjoy this reading of Lily’s Boy by SomewheresSword.

Author Summary:
Before his third year at Hogwarts even begins, Harry is given three unsupervised weeks in Diagon Alley. A trip to Gringotts changes everything.

Armed with the knowledge that Dumbledore has been blocking his family magic—and manipulating far more than Harry ever realized—he quickly understands he can’t continue as he has been. There’s a vast world of lore, politics, and history to uncover, and the more Harry learns, the clearer his true place in the wizarding world becomes… even as Dumbledore’s twinkling eyes watch closely.

With help from unexpected allies, Harry begins a journey to end the war and reshape magical Britain. Many see James Potter when they look at him—but they’ve forgotten something important: he is Lily Evans’ son… and she was one hell of a witch.

Pertinent Links:

•

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30856244/navigate

•

Join My Discord: https://discord.gg/52FpTyvezY

A Most Inconvenient Devotion: an original adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare — Chapter 27 — Champagne di Amore

Draco Malfoy has spent weeks attempting to suppress his increasingly inconvenient feelings for Hermione Granger. Unfortunately, an invitation to an intimate black-tie gathering at Nott House threatens to dismantle what little remains of his carefully cultivated composure.

Between Theo's questionable hospitality, old friends with entirely too much to say, and Hermione's devastating choice of evening attire, Draco finds himself navigating a night of champagne, dancing, and dangerously blurred boundaries. As the evening unfolds, the distance between professional duty and personal desire becomes increasingly difficult to maintain—and some feelings refuse to remain unspoken forever.

About This Production

A Most Inconvenient Devotion is an audiobook adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love, originally written by isthisselfcare. This adaptation follows Draco and Hermione's slow-burning romance through a story of magical danger, sharp wit, unexpected tenderness, and the complications of falling in love.

Pertinent Links

• Original Work: Read Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare on Archive of Our Own
• Community: Join the Discord community

I hope you enjoy this reading of All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89.

Author Summary: LONG fic charting the marauders' time at Hogwarts (and beyond) from Remus' PoV - diversion from canon in that Remus's father died and he was raised in a children's home, and is a bit rough around the edges. Otherwise canon-compliant.
1971 - 1995

This IS a wolfstar fic, but incredibly slow burn. Literally years. Long build up but worth it I promise!

Pertinent Links:

• Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057010/navigate

• Join My Discord: ⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/52FpTyvezY⁠⁠⁠

I hope you enjoy this reading of Lily’s Boy by SomewheresSword.

Author Summary:
Before his third year at Hogwarts even begins, Harry is given three unsupervised weeks in Diagon Alley. A trip to Gringotts changes everything.

Armed with the knowledge that Dumbledore has been blocking his family magic—and manipulating far more than Harry ever realized—he quickly understands he can’t continue as he has been. There’s a vast world of lore, politics, and history to uncover, and the more Harry learns, the clearer his true place in the wizarding world becomes… even as Dumbledore’s twinkling eyes watch closely.

With help from unexpected allies, Harry begins a journey to end the war and reshape magical Britain. Many see James Potter when they look at him—but they’ve forgotten something important: he is Lily Evans’ son… and she was one hell of a witch.

Pertinent Links:

•

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30856244/navigate

•

Join My Discord: https://discord.gg/52FpTyvezY

A Most Inconvenient Devotion: an original adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare — Chapter 26 — The Sphere of Light

When an unexpected revelation from Ron Weasley leaves Draco questioning everything he thought he knew about Hermione's feelings, maintaining his professional indifference becomes increasingly difficult. But troubling evidence of Gunnar Larsen's attacks on researchers brings the danger surrounding Hermione's work into sharper focus.

As Mabon approaches, Hermione prepares an ambitious expedition to twelve ancient dolmens, where powerful ley lines and forgotten magic may hold the key to her research. Between dangerous discoveries, familiar arguments, and moments of unexpected tenderness, Draco finds that protecting Hermione may be considerably simpler than protecting his own heart.

About This Production

A Most Inconvenient Devotion is an audiobook adaptation of Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love, the original fanfiction by isthisselfcare. This adaptation follows Draco and Hermione's slow-burning relationship through magical intrigue, unexpected danger, sharp wit, and increasingly inconvenient affection.

Pertinent Links

• Original Work: Read Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare on Archive of Our Own
• Community: Join our Discord community

I hope you enjoy this reading of All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89.

Author Summary: LONG fic charting the marauders' time at Hogwarts (and beyond) from Remus' PoV - diversion from canon in that Remus's father died and he was raised in a children's home, and is a bit rough around the edges. Otherwise canon-compliant.
1971 - 1995

This IS a wolfstar fic, but incredibly slow burn. Literally years. Long build up but worth it I promise!

Pertinent Links:

• Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057010/navigate

• Join My Discord: ⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/52FpTyvezY⁠⁠⁠

I hope you enjoy this reading of Lily’s Boy by SomewheresSword.

Author Summary:
Before his third year at Hogwarts even begins, Harry is given three unsupervised weeks in Diagon Alley. A trip to Gringotts changes everything.

Armed with the knowledge that Dumbledore has been blocking his family magic—and manipulating far more than Harry ever realized—he quickly understands he can’t continue as he has been. There’s a vast world of lore, politics, and history to uncover, and the more Harry learns, the clearer his true place in the wizarding world becomes… even as Dumbledore’s twinkling eyes watch closely.

With help from unexpected allies, Harry begins a journey to end the war and reshape magical Britain. Many see James Potter when they look at him—but they’ve forgotten something important: he is Lily Evans’ son… and she was one hell of a witch.

Pertinent Links:

•

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30856244/navigate

•

Join My Discord: https://discord.gg/52FpTyvezY