Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

Motherhood can feel like an impossible job because, in so many ways, we’ve made it one. In this conversation, I sit down with the brilliant Reshma Saujani—founder of Girls Who Code and Moms First and creator of the new documentary No Country for Mothers—to talk about the systems that leave moms carrying too much, the guilt we feel for needing help, and the myth that we should somehow be able to do it all. Together, we ask what it might look like to trade hyper-independence for interdependence—and where we might find real hope for families who are tired of holding everything together.

• Learn more about Reshma Saujani
• Watch No Country for Mothers and host a community screening
• Learn more about Moms First
• Explore Girls Who Code
• Listen to Reshma’s podcast, My So-Called Midlife
• Read the U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on parents’ mental health and well-being
• Join Kate on Substack

We all believe people deserve dignity. Until someone says something outrageous at Thanksgiving dinner. Or posts something truly unhinged on Facebook. Or votes differently than we do. So how do we hold on to our convictions without letting contempt take over? Kate talks with her friend Tim Shriver, longtime chairman of Special Olympics, about what his extraordinary family taught him about belonging, why outrage can feel so satisfying, and what it might look like to treat people with dignity—even when we really, really disagree. Because maybe the goal isn’t to agree on everything. Maybe it’s to remember that we belong to one another.

• The Dignity Index
• Become a Dignity Voter
• Special Olympics
• Tim Shriver
• Kate on Instagram
• Kate on YouTube

We live in a world that rewards certainty, outrage, and being absolutely convinced that the other side is wrong. But what if faithfulness looks a little less like winning an argument and a little more like admitting we might not have all the answers? Kate talks with former Tennessee Governor Bill Haslam about the complicated work of public service, the difference between using faith and being shaped by it, and why humility might be one of the most underrated qualities in a leader. Together, they ask what it means to love our neighbors when we disagree with them—and how to resist the contempt that makes it so hard to listen.

SHOW NOTES:

• Faithful Presence: The Promise and the Peril of Faith in the Public Square by Bill Haslam
• You Might Be Right — A podcast hosted by former Tennessee Governors Bill Haslam (Republican) and Phil Bredesen (Democrat), exploring difficult policy questions across political differences.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-might-be-right/id1642334178
• Howard H. Baker Jr. School of Public Policy and Public Affairs at The University of Tennessee
• Kate Bowler's Newsletter (Substack)
• Kate Bowler on Instagram
• Kate Bowler on YouTube

Is religion in America disappearing—or are we secretly in the middle of a revival? Sociologist Mark Chaves has spent decades studying what Americans actually believe and how our religious lives are changing. He joins Kate to separate the headlines from the data: why religious decline is real but slow, what we misunderstand about young people and faith, why megachurches keep getting bigger, and what we might lose when our institutions disappear.

Show Notes

• American Religion: Contemporary Trends, Second Edition — Mark Chaves’s book on changing patterns in American religious belief and practice.
• National Congregations Study — The long-running study of American congregations directed by Mark Chaves.
• Why Conservative Churches Are Growing — Dean M. Kelley’s 1972 book, discussed in the episode in relation to the idea that stricter churches are stronger.
• Kate Bowler on Substack — More blessings and reflections from Kate.
• Kate Bowler on YouTube — Watch full episodes of Everything Happens.

Something strange has happened to American religion. More people are checking “none” when asked about religious affiliation—but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve stopped believing in God, looking for meaning, or longing for community.

Historian Diana Butler Bass helps us understand how we got here. Kate and Diana trace the transformation of American evangelicalism from Jimmy Carter to the Religious Right, why Christianity became increasingly entangled with political identity, and what happens when people leave religious institutions but still find themselves reaching for something sacred. Perhaps losing a religious label isn’t always the same thing as losing faith. And perhaps the question isn’t only why people left—but what they’re still hungry for.

Show Notes:

• Learn more about Diana Butler Bass
• Subscribe to Diana’s newsletter, The Cottage
• Explore Pew Research Center’s Religious Landscape Study
• Learn more about America’s religiously unaffiliated (“nones”)
• Explore the data on spirituality and religious identity
• Join Kate on Substack

Who are the people who have made you who you are?

Kate sits down with novelist Andrew O’Hagan for a funny and tender conversation about friendship: the childhood friends we swear we’ll love forever, the unexpected people who become essential, and the friends who know how to stay when life gets frightening.

Together, they wonder what makes someone a good friend, why some friendships deepen while others fade, and how love sometimes looks less like having the right words and more like simply keeping pace.

Show Notes

• On Friendship — Andrew O’Hagan
• Mayflies — Andrew O’Hagan
• Caledonian Road — Andrew O’Hagan
• The Illuminations — Andrew O’Hagan
• Andrew O’Hagan — London Review of Books
• Edna O’Brien — RTÉ Archives
• Sam’s Cafe — Primrose Hill
• Dignitas

Jennifer Garner joins Kate Bowler for a conversation about happiness, joy, and the particular ache that shows up somewhere around midlife when the disappointments start to outnumber the wins, and you’re still not who you thought you’d be by now.

They talk about what actually separates happiness from joy (hint: one requires everything to go right, the other doesn’t), the strange gift of a copperhead snake bite, why Jennifer went paragliding after her cancer diagnosis despite being terrified of heights, and what it means to be a “witness” instead of just a friend.

Plus: religious upbringing and how it shapes how we experience joy, letting-go rituals, raising teenagers, and why older women deserve more credit for staying vivid, capable, and alive.

If you’ve ever felt like your life was supposed to add up by now and it just hasn’t, this one’s for you.

Aging is a privilege — but perimenopause and menopause can still blindside you. Kate Bowler sits down with Dr. Mary Claire Haver, board-certified OB-GYN and bestselling author of The New Menopause and The New Perimenopause, to explain what’s actually happening in the body during perimenopause and menopause, why symptoms like brain fog, frozen shoulder, and anxiety get dismissed or misdiagnosed, and what the evidence really says about hormone replacement therapy after the 2002 Women’s Health Initiative study derailed women’s care for two decades.

They also cover practical, low-cost tools for this stage of life — bone density screening, strength training, protein and fiber, cardio guidelines — and why replacing shame with information changes everything.

This conversation was recorded on location at the Aspen Ideas Festival: Health.

What if becoming the parent you want to be requires unlearning some of what you were taught?

Author and creator Libby Ward joins Kate to talk about breaking generational cycles, people-pleasing, parental burnout, and the complicated work of becoming the parent you didn’t have. Libby shares how motherhood forced her to confront her own limits—and reconsider the impossible standards she’d absorbed about what makes a “good mom.”

Together, they talk about boundaries, trusting your own needs, and letting go of the exhausting work of looking like a good parent so you can focus on what actually helps your children feel safe and loved.

Show Notes:

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Watch the conversation on YouTube.

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Follow Libby on Instagram.

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Read Libby’s book, Honest Motherhood.

Loneliness is more than just a feeling—it shapes how we see ourselves and the world around us. It can make us withdraw, hesitate to reach out, or convince us that connection is for other people. But Dr. Vivek Murthy has spent years reminding us of what is most true: we are meant to hold each other up.

As U.S. Surgeon General (twice!), Vivek confronted some of the biggest public health challenges of our time—addiction, youth mental health, the opioid crisis. But at the heart of it all was something deeply human: our need for each other. In this conversation, Kate and Vivek talk about what actually makes a life full—not perfect, not endlessly productive, but anchored in love and belonging.

Together, they discuss:

• The quiet ache of loneliness and why so many of us feel it

• Why relationships, purpose, and service are the real building blocks of a fulfilled life

• Small, practical ways to reach out, even when it feels awkward

• How asking for help might bring us closer, not pull us apart.

This episode originally aired February 2025

Historian and Canadian politician Michael Ignatieff explores the cracks in our seamless worldviews… or at least the worldviews we thought were seamless until we’re faced with tragedies of all kinds. In this wide-ranging exploration, Kate and Michael probe humanity's enduring attempt to console ourselves and construct meaning from our pain.

In this conversation, Kate and Michael discuss:

• Why truth and trust are so important when it comes to finding meaning in our pain
• The difference between comfort and consolation
• The limits of stoicism and hyper-futurism
• What it means to be hopeful
• The importance of community through pain and suffering

Michael does not denigrate anyone’s attempt for comfort, but asks us to look carefully at the consolation that lasts. He asks: What is consolation? And why do we all crave that practice of meaning-making?

This episode originally aired March 2023.

How do you live knowing life can just come undone at a moment’s notice? In the span of a few months, Tig Notaro received three life-threatening illnesses, unexpectedly lost her mom, and went through a breakup. Tig is a brilliant comedian whose real life informs her comedy and has a lot to teach us about living honestly in the face of reality.

In this conversation, Kate and Tig discuss:

• Tig’s “hands-off” parents and her journey of self-discovery, eventually uncovering her talents in the entertainment industry and making her a respected figure in comedy
• How Tig Notaro's family of “real characters,” served as an abundant source of comedic inspiration in her life (including the best graveyard story ever)
• How to live alongside fear of what you know could actually happen?

This episode originally aired June 2023.

Don’t Waste Your Life. Savor Every Moment. Live in the Present.

Culture has a lot of prescriptions for how to live a good life. But what if we don’t know where to start? Writer and researcher Catherine Price started to notice how much time she was spending on her phone and how the habit was sucking joy from her life. Instead, she wanted to learn how to have fun again. What is fun? How do you have it? Can you become a more fun person? Catherine debunks the myths around what it means to have fun—especially when we think we’re too tired, too careworn, or too old—and gives us a little homework to start today.

In this conversation, Kate and Catherine discuss:

• How to break up with your phone (and why we turn to our phones in the first place)
• How to create more opportunities for fun in the midst of regular days and too-full lives
• The simple practice Catherine uses to bring more joy to her days

This episode originally aired November 2023.

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Nicholas Kristof understands how to hope—especially in the face of despair or disappointment. He has spent his life shining a light on global tragedies like the Tiananmen Square massacre or the genocide in Darfur. And yet, despite all the horrors he has born witness to, he maintains a sense of hard-won optimism. “Hope is a muscle,” he says, and one we can all learn to develop.

In this live conversation, Kate and Nicholas discuss:

• How to maintain hope in the year ahead
• Nicholas’ best argument as to why this is the best time to be alive
• His strategies to seeing pain and courage up close over and over again
• Why our small actions matter (even when it feels like a drop in the ocean)

If you liked this episode, you’ll love:

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Bryan Stevenson on justice in the face of unthinkable odds

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David Fajgenbaum on how hope pulls us forward

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Sarah Polley on why we should run toward what scares us

This episode originally aired September 2024.

There are no training manuals for this. Just a child staring up at you with cartoon eyes and an inner monologue that asks: Am I doing this right? Am I ruining them?

Kate sits down with Dr. Becky Kennedy—a clinical psychologist and creator of Good Inside—to talk about the heartbreak and hope of parenting. What does it mean to raise (or re-raise) someone with compassion and boundaries, especially when you never learned how?

Whether you're parenting toddlers, teens, or the little one inside yourself, this conversation offers grace for anyone trying again.

Show Notes:

• Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy — parenting platform, book, and podcast
• A Blessing for When You're Not the Parent You Meant to Be
• https://katebowler.substack.com/ — essays, blessings, and community reflections
• Support Guide: When Your Child is in Pain — for parents supporting kids through emotional struggle
• Support Guide: Those Who Care for Teens — compassionate care for older children

This episode originally aired September 2025.

In this episode, Kate speaks with surgeon, writer, and public health leader Dr. Atul Gawande about the deeply human questions that surface when medicine meets its limits. What does it mean to be a good doctor when a cure isn’t possible? What do people really mean when they say they want “quality of life?”

Together, they talk about caregiving, end-of-life decisions, and how the most honest conversations in healthcare begin—not with answers—but with better questions.

For anyone living with chronic illness, caring for someone they love, or wondering what it means to live a good life with limits, this conversation won’t offer easy fixes. But it might offer something just as rare: clarity, compassion, and the courage to ask what really matters.

This episode originally aired September 2025.

Watch the full episode on YouTube: Kate C. Bowler on YouTube

Subscribe to Kate’s Substack: https://katebowler.substack.com/

Show notes:

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• The Aspen Ideas Festival
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• Being Mortal by Dr. Atul Gawande
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• The Green House Project
• Ari Johnson & Muso Health
• Organizations for further action: World Food Programme, UNICEF, American Red Cross

We don’t usually have repeat guests on this podcast… except we’re making an exception for the wonderful and wise Alan Alda. Alan Alda, of course, is an award-winning actor, writer, director, and podcast host. You probably know and love him as Hawkeye on M*A*S*H or Senator Arnie Vinick on The West Wing. He is endlessly curious on just about every topic—which makes him the perfect person to talk to about empathy, learning across differences (and disagreement), and how we might age into new hobbies and careers.

In this conversation, Alan and Kate discuss:

• Tricks for staying curious as we age
• How to talk to someone you disagree with
• How Alan hopes to destigmatize Parkinson’s Disease
• The difference between empathy and compassion and how to practice these important skills

This episode originally aired March 2024.

Scripture can become a weapon in the hands of the ultra-certain. As if every pain or suffering is part of “God’s divine plan.” So how should we understand and apply the Bible to our real lives with our real-life problems?

NT Wright, a New Testament scholar, is a trusted expert to help us understand what truths resound across time and circumstance and which don’t. In this conversation, Kate and Tom dig in especially on Romans 8:28 which is the Pauline version of EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Is that what Paul intended to say? Is there maybe another, more life-giving way to interpret it instead?

Kate and NT Wright also discuss:

• The importance of lament as a response to the human condition
• Why we have such a low tolerance for uncertainty
• Which scripture to turn to when life comes apart (and which to avoid)
• What our response should be to others who are in pain or experiencing tragedy

This is a bit of a Bible-nerd out, but I would trust no one else to help us better make sense of where is God when we’re suffering than NT Wright.

This clip originally aired in October 2023.

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.

Erin and Ben Napier didn’t plan on becoming household names. They were just trying to build a beautiful life in their beloved hometown of Laurel, Mississippi, one house, one neighbor, one Main Street at a time. In this heartwarming conversation, Kate talks to the stars of HGTV’s Home Town about what happens when our plans fall apart and something even better takes root.

They reflect on the surprising twists that led from political aspirations and magazine dreams to woodworking, parenting, and a television show that celebrates belonging. Along the way, they explore how creativity is born out of necessity, making a home, building a community, and loving the place where you are.

In this episode, they discuss:

• The ache and joy of making a home in the place that raised you
• How small acts of community build a life
• The beauty of third places and why talking to strangers still matters

If you liked this episode, you may also like:

• Angela Williams on The Caring Power of Community
• Sharon McMahon, Drops Make an Ocean
• Priya Parker on The Art of Gathering

This episode originally aired June 2025.

What happens to faith when certainty collapses? Kate Bowler sits down with theologian and former underground priest Tomáš Halík to explore belief forged under surveillance, the spiritual value of doubt, and why going deeper—not louder—might be the only faithful response to a fractured world. Together, they consider silence, suffering, and what it means to remain open to God when clarity is nowhere to be found.

SHOW NOTES

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Watch the live conversation on YouTube

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Touch the Wounds — Tomáš Halík

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The Afternoon of Christianity— Tomáš Halík