FILTHY @ FIVE (FILTHY FELLAS)

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THIS WEEK WE WELCOME BACK FILTHY FAMILY SCORCHER… HE’S ONLY HERE TO BRAG ABOUT SPURS’ THREE WINS ON THE BOUNCE. CAN’T IMAGINE THAT’LL BE THE ONLY TEAM HE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT, THOUGH…

AS MANCHESTER UNITED ARE, AS EXPECTED, STILL VERY MUCH IN THE MUD. THEY’VE GOT ALL SORTS GOING ON AT THE MINUTE, INCLUDING SABOTAGE!

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MANCHESTER, CHEATY LOSE AGAIN… IS THE POSSIBILITY THAT THEY’RE A ONE-MAN TEAM THE REASON, OR ARE THOSE 114 CHARGES FINALLY STARTING TO TAKE A MENTAL TOLL?!

AND ARSENAL GO THREE POINTS CLEAR AFTER THEIR FIRST WIN AT ANFIELD IN 14 YEARS! WITH DECLAN RICE PUTTING IN A MOTM PERFORMANCE, WE DISCUSS JUST HOW IMPORTANT HE IS TO THIS ARSENAL TEAM… AND WE’RE SURE SCORCHER WILL HAVE A THING OR TWO TO SAY ABOUT HIM!

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THIS WEEK ON FILTHY AT FREE, WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL GUEST… LEON MANN MBE!

THE FIRST MBE TO FEATURE ON THE SHOW, THERE’S A FIRST FOR EVERYTHING!

AN AWARD-WINNING CONSULTANT AND SPORTS LEADER, LEON TRANSFORMS CULTURE ACROSS COMMERCIAL AND NOT-FOR-PROFIT SPACES. FROM CO-FOUNDING THE FOOTBALL BLACK LIST TO ESTABLISHING THE BLACK COLLECTIVE OF MEDIA IN SPORT (BCOMS) AND THE SPORTS PEOPLES’ THINK TANK (SPTT), HIS IMPACT ON SPORT AND REPRESENTATION IS UNDENIABLE.

A TRUE HONOUR TO HAVE HIM ON THE SHOW AND GIVE THE GUYS THE CHANCE TO TAP INTO HIS KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE… EVEN IF HE DOES SUPPORT SPURS!

THE FIRST HALF AN HOUR OF THIS EPISODE IS GENUINELY INSIGHTFUL.

BUT AFTER THAT, IT’S BACK TO WHAT FILTHY DOES BEST… CHAT BALL!

THERE’S PLENTY GOING ON THIS WEEK! CAN MAN CITY FINALLY BE TOPPLED? CAN MAN UNITED SOMEHOW FIND THEIR WINNING WAYS AGAIN? CAN LIVERPOOL SURVIVE THE BRIGHTON ONSLAUGHT? AND SURELY ARSENAL’S CLASH WITH EVERTON IS GOING TO BE ANYTHING BUT STRAIGHTFORWARD?

ALL THAT AND MORE ON THIS WEEK’S EPISODE!

MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW THE FOOTBALL BLACK LIST https://www.instagram.com/officialfootieblacklist

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THIS SEASON, WE’RE ALL ABOUT BRINGING IN THE OVERDUE GUESTS…

THIS WEEK ON FILTHY @ FIVE, IT’S NONE OTHER THAN ADEBAYO AKINFENWA!

WE GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO WHERE THE BEAST’S CAREER BEGAN… THE LOST CITY OF ‘ATLANTIS’! WE DISCUSS THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS HE FACED AS A YOUNG MAN IN LITHUANIA, TRYING TO KICK-START HIS FOOTBALLING CAREER.

WE ALSO TALK ABOUT THE LUCKY NUMBER 7… OR NOT SO LUCKY IF YOU’RE MANCHESTER UNITED! THE BOYS ARE CONVINCED THE CLUB HAS BEEN HIT WITH A CURSE.

OFF THE PITCH, MANCHESTER UNITED AND ITS FANS AND AMBASSADORS HAVE BEEN SENDING SHOCKWAVES THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA. WE GIVE OUR TWO PENCE ON SAEED TV VS RIO FERDINAND.

WE ALSO GET INTO JORDAN HENDERSON AND WHETHER HE’S REALLY BACK TO HIS BEST…

BRIGHTON ARE TEARING UP THE RULE BOOK AND SHOWING THE PREM THEY DESERVE TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!

AND ARSENAL JUST KEEP WINNING… GOD WILLING.

WE’RE JOINED BY 90S BABY SHOW AND FILTHY FAMILY FRED SANTANTA!

🎸 BRRRANGGGG—DUN-DUN-DUNNNN, DA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA!!!

🥁 TSS-KA! TSS-KA!

🎶 TODAY @ FREE! WE WANNA BE THE VERY BEST!

WE’RE RANKING THE TOP TEN CENTRE-BACKS IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE!

AND NO, IT’S NOT BASED ON FIVE GAMES, ‘CAUSE THAT WOULD BE INSANE!

WE’RE ALL HYPOCRITES, WE’LL JUSTIFY OUR TAKES AGAIN!

VIA AY! DEE! AITCH! DEE!

🎶 AND REMEMBER…

WE’RE A DEMOCRACY!

THAT’S HOW DEMOCRACIES WORK!

…APPARENTLY. 🎶

(IN CASE YOU WEREN’T WONDERING THAT WAS TO THE THEME OF POKÉMON)

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THIS WEEK WE WELCOME SHAYGUNNER — AS WE TRY TO UNDERSTAND HOW GUILTY CITY KEEP GETTING HELP FROM THE REFS!

ANFIELD REALLY DELIVERED ON THE ATMOSPHERE FRONT, BUT THE PLAYERS FAILED TO CAPITALISE.

IS IT TIME TO DROP WIRTZ? AND IS BARR COLA SUFFERING FROM CULTURE SHOCK?!

CITY CAME STOMPING IN, BUT HOW IS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY?!

LET'S TALK ABOUT BRUNO… 23 MINUTES. THAT'S HOW LONG IT TOOK HIM TO COMPLETE A PASS. HE'S THE CLUB'S CAPTAIN, AND THEY FAILED TO WIN AT HOME AGAINST 10-MAN SPURS! AND HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE STINKING UP THE PLACE…CARRICK IS SHOWING ALL THE SIGNS OF A MAN ON HIS WAY OUT!

ARSENAL HAD A TOUGH GAME AGAINST A VERY WELL-DRILLED LEEDS SIDE, AND IT TOOK ONE OF THE GOALS OF THE SEASON TO BEAT THEM…

WE ASK WHAT THE PURPOSE OF A GYÖKERES IS, AND SOMEONE'S MADE THE SUGGESTION THAT SAKA MIGHT HAVE GONE FROM STAR BOY TO STAR UNC… HOW DARE THEY?!

MBAPPÉ IS TOLD TO “GET OUT MY CLUB”, WHILST EVERYONE ELSE IS LIKE “MBAPPÉ, GET IN MY CLUB!”… WHAT WORLD DO WE LIVE IN?!

ENJOY — AND PLEASE DON'T TAKE EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY.

THE PREMIER LEAGUE RETURNS TOMORROW, AND WE’RE NEARLY AT THE END OF OUR TOP 10 SERIES.

TODAY @ FREE, WE TELL YOU WHO WE THINK ARE THE TOP 10 STRIKERS IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE RIGHT NOW…

AND NO, IT’S NOT BASED ON THE FIVE GAMES WE’VE PLAYED THIS SEASON, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE STUPID.

WE’RE ALL HYPOCRITES. WHATEVER WORKS FOR OUR ARGUMENT, WE’LL FIND A WAY TO JUSTIFY.

VIA AY-DEE-AITCH-DEE.

AND REMEMBER…

WE’RE A DEMOCRACY.

THIS IS HOW DEMOCRACIES WORK…

#ad Think you know ball? Put your money where your mouth is. 📱Download Golazo on iOS & Android, draft your starting XI in the World Draft, take on the daily challenges and climb the divisions. 👉 https://golazoapp.io

BACK WITH A BANG!

THIS WEEK WE WELCOME RASHFORD’S BODY DOUBLE, AKA CECILE JEE FROM AFTV HE ONCE MET A DOLPHIN… BUT DOESN’T REMEMBER ITS NAME.

A LOT HAPPENED OVER THE WEEKEND — NOT JUST IN FOOTBALL, BUT IN THE WORLD. WE GO FROM LETHAL INJECTIONS TO WITCHES TO DELE ALLI TWITCHING!

WE ALSO DISCUSS JUDE BELLINGHAM AND WHETHER ROY KEANE’S COMMENTS ABOUT HIM RING TRUE. PLUS, WE TALK ABOUT FILTHY FELLAS FAVOURITE CR7 AND WHETHER HIM BEING 41 AND A MARTYR SHOULD EXCUSE HIS PETULANT BEHAVIOUR…

AND FINALLY, THE PREMIER LEAGUE RETURNS! ARSENAL NEED A WIN AFTER GETTING MAULED TO DEATH BY THE SEAGULLS, AND SOMEONE OUT OF MAN UTD AND SPURS NEEDS TO WIN TOO!

LIVERPOOL ALSO HAVE A CHANCE TO SET A PRECEDENT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON AGAINST MAN CITY — AND LET THEIR FEELINGS (AND EVERYONE ELSE’S) BE HEARD…

YA HEARD!

FILTHY TO THE WORLD!

WE LOVE TO CAUSE A STIR, BE CONTROVERSIAL, RUFFLE A FEW FEATHERS RATTLE THE CROWD.

TODAY @ FREE WE ARE TELLING YOU WHO WE THINK THE TOP 10 MIDFIELDERS IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE ARE… AND IT’S NOT BASED ON THE 5 GAMES PLAYED THIS SEASON, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE STUPID.

WE’RE ALL HYPOCRITES, AND WHATEVER WORKS FOR OUR ARGUMENT, WE’LL FIND A WAY TO JUSTIFY.

AND REMEMBER, WE’RE A DEMOCRACY — THIS IS HOW DEMOCRACIES WORK…

#ad Think you know ball? Put your money where your mouth is. 📱Download Golazo on iOS & Android, draft your starting XI in the World Draft, take on the daily challenges and climb the divisions. 👉 https://golazoapp.io

THEY’VE BEEN ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL CLUBS IN PREMIER LEAGUE HISTORY, SECOND ONLY TO THEIR ARCH-RIVALS, MANCHESTER UNITED, IN TERMS OF PREMIER LEAGUE TITLES.

MANCHESTER CITY HAVE ECLIPSED THEIR RIVALS ON THE PITCH, MATCHED MANCHESTER UNITED’S HISTORIC TREBLE, AND REPEATEDLY BEATEN SOME OF THE VERY BEST TEAMS ENGLAND HAS PRODUCED, MOST NOTABLY JÜRGEN KLOPP’S LIVERPOOL AND MIKEL ARTETA’S ARSENAL.

FOR RIVAL FANS, THEY’VE BECOME A HEADACHE. AN APPARENTLY UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF NATURE.

BUT THREE YEARS AGO, A SERIES OF LEAKED EMAILS AND DOCUMENTS REIGNITED QUESTIONS SURROUNDING MANCHESTER CITY’S FINANCES AND THE ALLEGATIONS MADE AGAINST THE CLUB. THOSE ALLEGATIONS FORM PART OF THE PREMIER LEAGUE’S CASE INVOLVING 115 ALLEGED BREACHES OF ITS RULES, A CASE THAT HAS BEEN FIERCELY CONTESTED BY MANCHESTER CITY.

AND NOW, EVERYONE IS WAITING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

WHAT COULD THE PUNISHMENT BE? WHAT WOULD THE CONSEQUENCES MEAN FOR MANCHESTER CITY, THEIR TROPHIES AND THEIR PLACE IN PREMIER LEAGUE HISTORY?

THEY CAN’T JUST GET AWAY WITH THIS… CAN THEY?

IN THIS EPISODE, WE BREAK IT ALL DOWN AND LET MANCHESTER CITY KNOW EXACTLY HOW WE FEEL.

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS!

BLUE MOON IS RISING…

SETTING, RATHER.

OH, AND HARRY KANE… YOU’VE LET YOUR COUNTRY DOWN. AGAIN.

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THIS WEEK WE WELCOME INTERNATIONALLY ACCLAIMED DJ MAJESTIC. HE’S ALSO THE OTHER KEV TO KEV AKA STEVO AND THEY HAVE A LONG HISTORY DATING BACK TO RIVAL SCHOOLS AND SONG MAKING AS WELL AS A STORY ABOUT A STRANGE PHOTO…

ANYWAY, ABOUT TODAY’S EPISODE…

WE LOVE TO CAUSE A STIR, BE CONTROVERSIAL, RUFFLE A FEW FEATHERS RATTLE THE CROWD.

TODAY @ FREE WE ARE TELLING YOU WHO WE THINK THE TOP 10 WINGERS IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE ARE… AND IT’S NOT BASED ON THE 5 GAMES PLAYED THIS SEASON, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE STUPID.

WHAT MAKES A PLAYER A WINGER?

IN MODERN FOOTBALL, IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT HUGGING THE TOUCHLINE.

SOME OF THE PLAYERS INCLUDED IN THIS LIST AREN’T TRADITIONAL WIDE WINGERS, BUT HAVE A HISTORY OF PLAYING IN THE POSITION AND BEING EFFECTIVE THERE. FOR THESE PLAYERS, THE DEFINITION OF A WINGER NEEDS TO BE A LITTLE BROADER.

INTERPRETATION IS EVERYTHING… AND REMEMBER, WE’RE A DEMOCRACY — THIS IS HOW DEMOCRACIES WORK…

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THIS WEEK WE REPLACED LOONS WITH AN ACTUAL SCOUSER TO A) BACK UP THE ARGUMENT LOONS BROUGHT FORWARD A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, THAT ALL LIVERPOOL FANS ARE BALLERS, AND B) ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT LIVERPOOL FC COHERENTLY WITHOUT GETTING DEFENSIVE.

PLEASE WELCOME FILTHY FAMILY DOYLE, AKA http://INSTAGRAM.COM/FREESTYLEDM

THE CHAMPIONS HAVE LOST THEIR FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON, AND BOY, DID THEY LOSE IN STYLE. FORGET ‘PECKED BY THE SEAGULLS’, THEY WERE PECKED TO DEATH BY THE GODDAMN THINGS! TORN TO SHREDS!

CHELSEA ALSO SHIPPED THREE GOALS AS THEY WERE STUNG TO DEATH... AND SPURS ARE 20TH IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE AFTER OVER £300 MILLION WAS SPENT ON TALENT.

ELSEWHERE, MAN UTD KEEP MAN UTD’ING, RALF RANGNICK’S HEART SURGERY COMMENTS HAVE RESURFACED, AND WE ASK, ARE MAN UTD STUCK IN PERPETUAL DOOM?

WE ALSO TALK POLITICS, LORD OF THE RINGS, STAR WARS, AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT THE SUN.

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FILTHY @ FREE…

CRAIG MITCH IS BACK IN THE BUILDING… WE’VE HAD FAR TOO MANY SPURS FANS ON RECENTLY… AND HE LIKENS SPURS’ RECENT STRUGGLE TO SCORE GOALS (IN THE LEAGUE) TO BEING CONSTIPATED AND BELIEVES ONCE THEY DROP ONE THE REST WILL FLOOOOW. WHAT SORT OF THOUGHTS DID YOU CONJUR UP THERE?

WE LOOK AT THE STANDOUT NOMINEES FOR THIS YEARS BALLON D’OR AND DISCUSS WHETHER INDIVIDUAL BRILLIANCE SHOULD BE THE OVERALL FACTOR TO WINNING IT.

THERE’S ALSO MORE TALK ON VAR AND HOW VAR TOO MUCH IS GOING WRONG FOR VARS SAKE.

AND IRAOLA AND HIS PERIPHERY OF ATTACK VISITS HIS OLD HOME TO SEE IF THEY CAN CREATE THE FREE FLOWING GOAL SCORING FOOTBALL THE ANFIELD FAITHFUL SO DESIRE.

AND FINALLY THE DOCKERS DERBY IS THIS WEEKEND. MILLWALL VS WEST HAM - MENACE VS STEVO - WHO WILL COME OUT VICTORIOUS?!

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YOU’VE BEEN ASKING FOR IT (FOR ABOUT 10 YEARS, TO BE FAIR)… BUT WE FINALLY WELCOME EXPRESSIONS TO THE SHOW!

AND WHAT A BUNCH OF TOPICS WE’VE GOT TO COVER…

FIRST OFF — DID THE WORLD (MAINLY THE FOOTBALLING WORLD) JUST WITNESS CORRUPTION?! BECAUSE PRO-REF-PGMOL-LOL HAVE A LOT TO ANSWER FOR!

EMBARRASSING ON UNITED’S PART FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO DEAL WITH 10 MEN AT OLD TRAFFORD. THEY SHOULD TAKE A PAGE OUT OF LIVERPOOL’S BOOK WITH ALL THAT FIREPOWER THEY’VE GOT…

OH, WAIT… THEY DREW 0-0 AT ANFIELD AND GAVE FULHAM THEIR FIRST POINT OF THE SEASON.

OK, WHAT ABOUT SPURS?! SURELY THEY’VE KICKED INTO GEAR WITH ALL THAT MONEY SPENT ON ATTACKING PLAYERS?

0-0 AGAIN?!

SURELY ARSENAL CAN TEACH THEM A THING OR TWO ABOUT SCORING WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH — EVEN WHEN PRO-REF-PGMOL-LOL TRY AND DO EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO STOP YOU FROM WINNING…

0-2 AWAY AT THE STADIUM OF LIGHT?! TAKE NOTE, UNITED.

OH, AND CHELSEA GOT TAMED BY THE TIGERS.

THIS EPISODE’S OOZING WITH MADNESS.

ENJOY.

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#ad Think you know ball? Put your money where your mouth is.
Download Golazo on iOS & Android, draft your starting XI in the World Draft, take on the daily challenges and climb the divisions. https://golazoapp.io

THE CROWD HAVE BEEN ASKING US WHERE THE DRAFTS ARE.

WE THOUGHT, “IT’S BEEN A WHILE…” SO HERE’S ONE.

BECAUSE THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FIRST GAMES ARE OVER AND IT’S STILL FRESH IN YOUR MINDS, WE THOUGHT WE’D GIVE YOU THE ULTIMATE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE DRAFT.

BUT THIS ISN’T A NORMAL DRAFT. THERE’S A TWIST.

EVERY ROUND (PICK), THE CATEGORY FOR THE PLAYER CHANGES. SAME RULES APPLY: SNAKE DRAFT AND ONLY 2 PLAYERS FROM THE SAME TEAM.

THIS ONE WAS EASY…

BUT EASY IS NEVER EASY WITH DRAFTS.

EXPECT MISTAKES. EXPECT ARGUMENTS. EXPECT PLAYERS TO BE PUT IN POSITIONS THEY’VE NEVER PLAYED IN… AND THEN EXPECT US TO ARGUE ABOUT IT FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON.

THIS IS THE ULTIMATE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE DRAFT WITH A TWIST!

OH, AND WE WELCOME, FROM DOWN UNDER, BLAME_SAMUEL, AGAIN.

SEE WHAT WE DID THERE?

WE PUT HIS WELCOME AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PARAGRAPH…

’COS HE’S FROM DOWN UNDER.

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THE CROWD ARE ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW LOONS IS ALWAYS ON HIS OWN AS A LIVERPOOL FAN, AND THE REALLY RUDE ONES ARE ALWAYS SAYING WE NEED ANOTHER REPRESENTATIVE.

WELL, LOONS AIN’T GOING NOWHERE, BUT HERE’S ANOTHER LIVERPOOL FAN, LOUD ON X — IT’S JAMZ.

AND HE’S ONLY HERE BECAUSE LIVERPOOL MANAGED TO WIN THEIR FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON AGAINST NEWLY PROMOTED IPSWICH TOWN.

GAMEWEEK 3 IS WRAPPED, AND SPURS, VILLA AND COVENTRY HAVEN’T SCORED A GOAL. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

HAALAND SCORED HIS 300TH SENIOR GOAL. HONESTLY, WHAT WOULD CITY DO WITHOUT HIM… MAKES YOU WONDER, DOESN’T IT?

AND THE “BEST ATTACK IN THE LEAGUE” ATTEMPTED TO DO WHATEVER IT WAS THEY’D DONE IN PREVIOUS GAMEWEEKS, BUT ABSOLUTELY FAILED AS THEY GOT TRAMPLED OVER AT THE EMIRATES.

THE BOYS GIVE US ALL THE REACTION, AS WELL AS A BRIEF SUMMARY OF THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE BEING BACK AND UNITED PLAYING ON A TUESDAY AGAINST… THE LIVING TIGER SWORD USED BY THE WHITE RANGER IN MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS!

ACTIVATE THE TIGERZORD!

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THE SUMMER TRANSFER WINDOW IS SHUT.

ALL THE PREMIER LEAGUE CLUBS HAVE DONE THEIR BUSINESS, AND WE’RE HERE TO TELL YOU, THE CROWD, HOW WE RATE IT.

WELL… NOT ALL OF THEM. WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT. WE’LL JUST BE DOING THE TRADITIONAL TOP SIX.

WE’LL ALSO BE TALKING ABOUT SALAD AND COLESLAW, MICROWAVES AND BATHROOM WINDOWS.

AND WHERE AIR COMES FROM.

HAPPY FRIDAY. FILTHY BE FREE.

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DO NOT REPEAT EVERYTHING YOU HEAR!

THERE’S BEEN A SALMONELLA OUTBREAK AND IT’S HIT THE CREW… DID LAST WEEK’S CONVERSATION ABOUT “FLAVOURS” HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT… WHO KNOWS.

THIS WEEK, WE WELCOME FILTHY FAMILY SCORCHER AS HE GIVES US THE LOWDOWN ON SPURS’ TERRIBLE START — AND WHETHER THE THREE-PEAT COULD BE ON!

ARSENAL RESUME THEIR DEFENSIVE RESPONSIBILITIES AS THEY OVERTURN A ROUGH VILLA… WHILE CHELSEA CONTINUE TO SCORE LOTS OF GOALS, BUT ALSO CONTINUE TO CONCEDE LOTS OF GOALS.

AND MAN UTD HAVE TO RELY ON A STRANGE FOOTBALLING LAW TO OVERTURN NEWLY PROMOTED IPSWICH TOWN…

HANDS UP IF YOU AGREE WITH THE RULE?

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GAME WEEK 2 OF THE PREMIER LEAGUE STARTS TONIGHT… AND THERE’S PLENTY TO GET THROUGH!

FIRST OFF, LET’S INTRODUCE OUR GUEST… FILTHY FAMILY JCHARM! ANOTHER GOONER FOR SEASON 12!

WHAT CHOCOLATES AND SWEETS FROM OUR CHILDHOOD SHOULD THEY BRING BACK? AND WHICH CARTOONS AND TV SHOWS NEED TO MAKE A COMEBACK?

IT’S ALSO CARNIVAL WEEKEND, SO WE’LL ATTEMPT TO WORK OUT WHAT’S ALLOWED… AND WHAT DEFINITELY ISN’T!

AND, IN KEEPING WITH THE THEME OF WHAT’S RIGHT AND WHAT’S NOT… WAS IAN, WRIGHT WITH THE BIG REVEAL HE MADE ON SKY SPORTS ABOUT MARTINELLI?!

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WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT LOONS KNEW THE WORDS TO S CLUB 7? ANYWAY, THAT’S FOR ANOTHER TIME.

THE PREMIER LEAGUE IS BACK, AND IT CERTAINLY DIDN’T FAIL TO DISAPPOINT.

THIS WEEK, WE WELCOME AFTV FOUNDER AND FILTHY FAMILY MEMBER ROBBIE LYLE TO DISCUSS MAN UTD’S OPENING-DAY MAULING AT THE HANDS OF NEWLY PROMOTED HULL CITY.

HOW BAD DID SPURS LOOK WITH ALL THE MONEY THEY’VE SPENT? AND WHAT DOES THE SILENCE FROM UNAI EMERY MEAN? WELL, IF HE WANTS SILENCE, HE’S GETTING SILENCE FROM US. SO, SORRY VILLA FANS, BUT WE’LL BE TALKING ABOUT OTHER CLUBS THIS WEEK. BLAME THE MANAGER.

AND DID MAN CITY’S LAST-MINUTE WIN JUST PAPER OVER ALL THE CRACKS THAT WERE ON SHOW?

ALL THAT AND MORE ON THIS WEEK’S FILTHY @ FIVE.