Great Bad Movies

This week, on The Greatest Guilty Pleasure in the History of Cinema:

It's Greg's Pick®, and after a last-minute audible (sorry, Spy), he's gone with 1985's Commando. Joe gasped out loud when Greg texted him the poster. Why did Greg pick it? He doesn't have an answer... It was just time.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is John Matrix, a retired Special Forces colonel who has to rescue his daughter (Alyssa Milano) from his former unit. Rae Dawn Chong is the flight attendant who gets dragged along, Vernon Wells is Bennett (and his chain-mail vest), and Bill Duke is in it, which is more than enough. Mark Lester directs a script from Steven E. de Souza.

This one is personal. Joe first saw it on VHS in West Virginia, and Greg wonders whether this is where Great Bad Movies actually began: two kids watching one man take on an entire army and deciding that was the best thing they'd ever seen. Does it hold up? Not by today's standards, but the nostalgia is real.

"It's not good. At all. And yet, if you asked me to watch it RIGHT NOW, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes."

- Joe Sky-Tucker, 2026

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In a very special bonus episode, our editor Sam Cunningham drops by to review OUR review of his pick: The Amateur.

Sam has edited just about every episode of this show, but you know what's crazy? After almost 2.5 years of hilarious and thoughtful emails/texts, we've never actually spoken to him. So this is a one-of-a-kind episode, where all of our assumptions were proven true... He is exactly the kind of person you'd want to spend some time with, talking about Great Bad Movies. It's Sam Cunningham, everybody. And he's seriously the best.

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Almost everybody in this movie is a professional. We're here to talk about the one guy who isn't. In a very special episode, our editor Sam picks a perfect movie for Great Bad Movies.

We have many questions about this movie... Some involve pollen. Others concern the main character's voice and face. Joe may or may not call an actor in this movie "a modern Willem Dafoe."

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Joe’s Pick® this year is EASILY one of the best movies of the 2020s, from Game Night directors Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley.

If you’re going to bring together the tones of Princess Bride, Monty Python, Lord of the Rings, the MCU, Indiana Jones, AND Oceans 11…. You’re probably going to make one of the best movies of all time. Wait, is Hugh Grant in it? He is, so we’re good. When you smoosh all that together, this is probably the easiest Great Great Movie award we’ve ever handed out.

So grab some overly hot tea and join us for a discussion about DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES. Hold on… Is Jarnathan here? Let’s wait for Jarnathan, obviously.

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The follow-up to our Atomic Blonde episode that needed to happen... Our next movie is FINALLY ANNOUNCED and we find out who wins the Atomic Blonde Hallgren Wager!

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"THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE BY ONE OF MY FAVORITE DIRECTORS." That's probably all you need to know before listening to this episode. One of the hosts says that. Is that a surprise? I doubt it.

2017's Atomic Blonde was shepherded to the screen by Charlize Theron, directed by David Leitch, contains 83 plot twists, and a cast better than any other movie you've ever seen. Is someone punched with a toaster? Listen, we can't spoil everything. But yes.

It also features: A single-take(ish) 10 minute stairwell fight and car chase. A massive perfect ice cube budget. Pants-incurious people. So much more.

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Greg and Joe react to last week's episode and the 3rd Great Great Movie honor this podcast has given. Also, the Hallgren Wager heats up AGAIN, IF THAT WAS EVEN POSSIBLE.

Also.... Our next movie is announced! GET READY!!!

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What if we had it all in 2012 and HAD NO IDEA?? That's the question Joe and Greg grapple with in this episode, while writing a love letter to one of the most entertaining movies of all time, 2012's SAFE HOUSE with Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds.

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In this fast-and-loose mini-sode, Greg and Joe address the one lingering question that Demolition Man left burning in everyone's soul. No, not how the seashells work—something far more critical.

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The answer is CLASSIC SNIPES. Wait, what was your question again? It was just a matter of time before we got to 1993's Demolition Man, with an animated Wesley Snipes, a post 80's Sylvester Stallone, and a brand new Sandra Bullock, who obviously steals the movie in 2026.

Greg and Joe act like grown ups, and consider writing a love letter to Demolition Man.

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We cover our blatant omissions from our 355 conversation, including the unspoken "pulse check & double head-shake" move, Joe's personal fail-safe needs, and the best dinner to have at a table covered with maps, guns and bullets. We also answer potentially the MOST important question, and we introduce a new series of movies somehow overlooked in the first 2.5 years of this show. Plus! A peak into the official GBM List of Movies®!!!

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Jessica Chastain pitches Simon Kinberg an all-female Mission Impossible on the set of Dark Phoenix, and the result stars Chastain, Penélope Cruz, Diane Kruger, Lupita Nyong’o, and Fan Bingbing chasing a drive that can hack anything on Earth (“like ghosts in a machine”). On paper: perfect. On screen: a movie that went to the trope store and said, I’ll take one of everything. Silent helicopter? Check. Give us the room? CHECK.

Greg explains why he loves this movie more than probably anybody besides Simon Kinberg and will rewatch it every other year for the rest of his life. Joe blames the writing. Together, they try to figure out how a cast this stacked made a movie with a 24% on Rotten Tomatoes… And an 86% from the audience. These are our people.

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The Hallgren Wager gets even more intense this week, with David Hallgren IN-STUDIO to see the tension firsthand. You're not going to believe this: Joe and David bring the Martian discussion to a surprising place, and by that we mean they talk about the Gray Man some more. Also, our next episode’s movie is announced! You won't want to miss this bonus episode. See you soon!

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To celebrate Christopher Nolan's THE ODYSSEY, David Hallgren flies to the west coast to discuss Matt Damon's OG odyssey, THE MARTIAN, in person!

It's an extremely easy love letter to write for some of us. Others... Might have some notes.

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The most important question is finally answered... When was the last time David Hallgren watched Kingsman: The Secret Service??? The answer will shock you. Also, in collaboration with one of the biggest movies of the summer, we announce our next episode!

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It's finally time for manners to maketh Greg and Joe. It has somehow taken over two years for this show to cover Kingsman, but that just shows how many love letters the world of Great Bad Movies deserves. So pop the cork on a $250,000 bottle of Dalmore 62, and celebrate an emotionally mature new action star named Colin Firth as he beats up an entire bar.

This movie is almost entirely incredible.... Verdict: Great Bad Movie, no notes — well, several notes, but that's why this show exists. BYO Dalmore (or, budget permitting, a $19 Jameson). Let's get to KINGSMAN!!!

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Greg & Joe answer the most important question: When was the last time David Hallgren watched the Bourne Identity?? If Robert Ludlum wrote a book about their ongoing bet, it would be called The Hallgren Wager®. (We reserve the right to make a 9 part film series based on that.)

Also, we announce what next week's movie will be!

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It's finally time for us to dive into the Bourniverse. In what we assume was the inspiration for Letty in Furious 6, Matt Damon has amnesia so bad that when he remembers something, he winces in pain. Also, his superpowers include spotting a guy who is 215 pounds and knows how to handle himself, which is amazing.

Greg goes deep into how this messy production produces a stone cold classic, and Joe tries to figure out if this is in fact a GREAT GREAT MOVIE... The highest honor a movie can receive.

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Joe and Greg finally have the chance to air their regrets about their Enemy of the State episode.

They also clean up some unfinished business regarding one of their most important questions: When was the last time David Hallgren watched this movie?

And finally, it’s time to announce what next week’s new episode will be!!

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Listen, Will Smith was just trying to buy Christmas presents for his wife and son. But then Jon Voight murdered a senator and a guy studying geese accidentally gave him the tape and now the entire NSA is tracking him with satellites. I don't know if you really need to know more than that, but it's basically Three Days of the Condor if Robert Redford was replaced by the Fresh Prince and the whole thing was directed by a man that paints the camera lens orange.

Tony Scott, who we have controversially said was the better Scott, continues to keep his batting average up for one of the hosts of this podcast. The other one has... Some thoughts.

Also Gene Hackman is playing the same character from The Conversation 24 years later but nobody can legally say that. It's all pretty serious stuff in this movie, but the case is bizarrely all the future comedy stars from the 00's. Somehow it all works, for one of us at least.

That's right, it's time for 1998's ENEMY OF THE STATE.

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