Internal Family Systems (IFS) Meditations and Insights: Faithfully Growing with Tim Fortescue

I drove into California on a Sunday with everything I owned in the back of a Pontiac, the air conditioning long gone. That same day I walked into church in shorts and flip flops, and a friend laughed and said, "Good Lord, that's Tim."

In Chapter 5 of Unburdened, I read the story of arriving into relationship: Mario's joyful welcome, Joyce's steady, maternal care, and the first night I felt held instead of earning my place. It's also about the tender truth underneath: real warmth, and still belonging at the edge of something.

In this chapter:

• The long drive west, and leaving one kind of poverty without leaving its feeling
• Rightness, not certainty
• Being seen clearly without being shamed
• Joyce in the kitchen: love that feels like rest instead of performance
• Belonging that's received rather than inherited
• "I love my new life," and what was underneath that joy

From the archive: Belonging vs. Fitting In: https://exploreifs.com/269

Follow the memoir: https://exploreifs.com/unburdened

Support the work: This podcast is listener-supported: https://faithfullygrowing.com/donate

I'm an IFS practitioner and coach, not a licensed therapist. This isn't therapy, it's an invitation to notice.

The part of you that adjusts usually changes shape before you've even sat down. In this guided meditation, we stand at the doorway of an ordinary room, notice the part that starts scanning and editing, and feel where it lives in the body.

Following the Insight on belonging vs. fitting in, this session invites us to get curious about what that adjusting part is afraid of, offer it gratitude, and let it know it belongs here, with you. Fitting in is about adjusting. Belonging is about arriving.

In this session:

• Settling in: held up without having to earn it
• Standing at the doorway of a room where you adjust
• Finding where the adjusting lives in your body
• How long have you been doing this for me?
• What are you afraid would happen if you stopped?
• Gratitude, and "you don't have to earn that"
• Where belonging lives from the inside

Companion episode: 269, Belonging vs. Fitting In: https://exploreifs.com/269

From the archive: Exiles: The Tender Parts We Hide: https://exploreifs.com/229

Support the work: This podcast is listener-supported: https://faithfullygrowing.com/donate

I'm an IFS practitioner and coach, not a licensed therapist. This isn't therapy, it's an invitation to notice.

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ https://www.exploreifs.com

That's just Tim, but we love him. I heard it a lot in my seminary years. It was kind. And it left me feeling loved, but not quite known.

In this Insight session, we unpack the difference between fitting in and belonging through the lens of Internal Family Systems. Fitting in is about adjusting. Belonging is about arriving. We look at the belonging wound a younger part can carry, the protector parts that work so hard to keep it hidden, and why belonging starts inside, when our parts come to feel they belong to Self.

In this session:

• "That's just Tim, but we love him"
• The professor in the hallway
• Fitting in vs. belonging
• The belonging wound: "something about me doesn't fit"
• The scanner, the translator, the performer, the chameleon
• Why none of these parts are the problem
• Recognition from Self, not reassurance from a part
• An invitation to notice

Companion episode: 267, Marin Headlands (Chapter 4 of Unburdened): https://exploreifs.com/267

From the archive: Exiles: The Tender Parts We Hide: https://exploreifs.com/229

Support the work: This podcast is listener-supported: https://faithfullygrowing.com/donate

I'm an IFS practitioner and coach, not a licensed therapist. This isn't therapy, it's an invitation to notice.

Takeaways

• Belonging vs. Fitting In
• Understanding Internal Parts

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Belonging
• 03:11 The Difference Between Fitting In and Belonging
• 10:00 Understanding Internal Parts and Protectors
• 12:38 The Journey to Self-Acceptance

On the last night of September, Tennessee tried to execute Christa Pike. After a second dose, she kept breathing. By that same night, people in scrubs were working to save the life the state had just tried to end.

In this special Insight + Meditation session, I sit with that story: with Colleen Slemmer, the nineteen-year-old whose life was taken in 1995, with the hurt girl Christa once was, and with a very different case from Massachusetts that broke a tidy answer I'd carried for years. Where I've landed is simple and hard: sacred means holding the whole person.

Then we turn inward. The state isn't the only one that shrinks people down to their worst moment. Our parts do it too, to others and to ourselves. The guided meditation invites you to notice a part that has reduced someone to one moment, get curious about what it's protecting, and quietly ask, who else is here?

You don't have to agree with me to be welcome here. Wherever you've landed, I hope you'll bring curiosity and care.

Content note: this session discusses an execution and the death of children (postpartum psychosis). The meditation begins after the teaching if you'd like to skip ahead.

In this session:

• A reader who disagrees, and why I respected it

• Granny Betty and the vigil room

• Christa Pike, and remembering Colleen Slemmer

• The sentence I grew up with

• The case that broke my tidy answer

• If you see it differently

• Teaching: shrinking a person to one part

• Guided meditation: who else is here?

From the archive: "Who's Here?" A Small Practice for Real Life: http://exploreifs.com/245

Read the full essay: http://exploreifs.com/substack

I'm an IFS practitioner and coach, not a licensed therapist. This isn't therapy, it's an invitation to notice.

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATION FREE @ https://www.exploreifs.com

In this episode, Tim Fortescue shares Chapter 4 of his memoir, 'Unburdened,' reflecting on his journey of self-discovery, belonging, and the complexities of personal growth. Through vivid storytelling, he explores the tension between fitting in and truly belonging, the challenges of teaching, and the hope that comes with embracing one's authentic self.

Takeaways

• Belonging vs. fitting in
• The journey of self-discovery

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Unburdened
• 02:28 The Marin Headlands Experience
• 05:48 Struggles of Belonging
• 11:48 Teaching and Pushing Boundaries
• 18:20 The Duality of Freedom and Loneliness
• 22:57 Hope and Possibility in Becoming

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELD-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND 25 IFS MEDITATONS ALL FREE @ https://www.exploreifs.com

In this meditation session, Tim Fortescue guides listeners to connect with the part of themselves that holds tension and resistance, encouraging appreciation and acknowledgment rather than forcing release. The session emphasizes the importance of being present with one's feelings and honoring the body's responses.

Takeaways

• Honor your body's tension
• Acknowledge without forcing release

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to the Meditation
• 01:14 Finding the Line of Tension
• 03:54 Settling into the Body
• 08:13 Acknowledging Tightness
• 11:09 Expressing Gratitude to Tension
• 15:08 Widening Awareness and Closing

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ https://www.exploreifs.com

Tim Fortescue shares insights on the concept of 'holding the line' as a form of protection within the internal family systems. He explores the role of this protector and its significance in shaping one's identity and resilience.

Takeaways

• Holding the line as a form of protection
• The importance of acknowledging and appreciating the 'line holder' within oneself

Chapters

• 00:00 The Decision to Hold the Line
• 01:39 The Role of the Protector
• 03:08 The Quiet Resolve
• 04:19 The Complicated Nature of Protection
• 06:21 Acknowledging the Line Holder
• 08:16 Exploring Exiled Parts

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

The conversation explores the theme of inner resistance and quiet firmness in the face of external pressure, as well as the journey of self-discovery and growth. It delves into the dynamics of family relationships, personal priorities, and the emergence of self-awareness and self-trust.

Takeaways

• Inner resistance as a form of inner trust
• The journey of self-discovery and self-trust

Chapters

• 00:00 Chapter 1: Quiet Firmness
• 03:53 Chapter 2: Holding the Line
• 04:23 Chapter 3: Getting My Priority Straight
• 13:24 Chapter 4: The Divide Inside
• 19:07 Chapter 5: Trusting the Widening

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

The meditation session led by Tim Fortescue focuses on finding spaciousness within the body and creating room for parts to breathe. The practice involves exploring and expanding the feeling of spaciousness, inviting parts to feel the spaciousness, and closing with reflection and gratitude.

Takeaways

• Finding spaciousness within the body
• Creating room for parts to breathe

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Spaciousness
• 03:04 Exploring Spaciousness Within
• 05:56 Expanding Spaciousness
• 09:08 Inviting Parts to Feel Spaciousness
• 11:54 Closing and Reflection

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

The conversation explores the innate ability of the body to find space and quiet, the instinctive regulation of the system, trusting the body's instincts, and supporting the work through listener contributions.

Takeaways

• Innate ability to find space and quiet
• Trusting the body's instincts

Chapters

• 00:00 Finding Space and Quiet
• 03:04 Instinctive Regulation
• 06:39 Trusting Body's Instincts
• 09:37 Supporting the Work

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND 25 IFS MEDITATIONS ALL FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

The podcast episode explores the author's journey of seeking understanding, peace, and belonging through the lens of internal family systems. It delves into the significance of nature, solitude, and the dual nature of church in shaping the author's inner world.

Takeaways

• Nature as a source of peace and relief
• The complexity of seeking understanding and belonging

Chapters

• 00:00 Chapter 1: The Inner Living Room
• 02:28 Chapter 2: The Mountains in the Distance
• 04:19 Chapter 3: Seeking Understanding and Belonging
• 06:20 Chapter 4: Finding Peace and Solitude
• 18:01 Chapter 5: The Dual Nature of Church
• 30:15 Chapter 6: The Instinct Towards Spaciousness

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATION ALL FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

The meditation session focuses on creating an inner living room, finding the room inside oneself, inviting parts into the inner room, and resting in the inner room. The session encourages self-acceptance and acknowledgment of all parts of oneself.

Takeaways

• Creating a safe inner space
• Acknowledging and inviting all parts of oneself

Chapters

• 00:00 Creating the Inner Living Room
• 02:08 Finding the Room Inside You
• 13:03 Inviting Parts into the Inner Room
• 16:17 Resting in the Inner Room

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

The episode delves into the concept of protectors in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, exploring their roles, impact, and the process of meeting and understanding them. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing and acknowledging protectors as a crucial step in the healing journey.

Takeaways

• Understanding the roles and impact of protectors in IFS therapy.
• The importance of meeting, acknowledging, and softening the grip of protectors for healing.

Chapters

• 00:00 Understanding Protectors in IFS
• 04:34 Common Protector Roles
• 06:31 The Cost of Protectors
• 07:28 Meeting and Understanding Protectors
• 08:31 Softening the Grip of Protectors
• 10:38 Noticing and Acknowledging Protectors

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

The podcast episode begins with an introduction to IFS Meditations and Insights, followed by a discussion about the memoir 'Unburdened.' The series structure is explained, and the first chapter, 'The Living Room,' is explored in detail, highlighting the formative experiences of the host's childhood.

Takeaways

• Exploration of the memoir 'Unburdened'
• Understanding the role of protectors in childhood
• The presence of the 'self' amidst burdens and protectors
• The formative experiences of childhood in shaping the inner world

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to IFS Meditations and Insights
• 01:04 Unburdened: A Memoir
• 03:23 The Series Structure
• 04:25 Chapter One: The Living Room

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER PACK AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATIONS, FREE @ http://EXPLOREIFS.COM

If you sign up for Parts Companion, consider using my affiliate link below:

https://app.partscompanion.org/with/faithfullygrowing

The episode features an interview with Adam Taylor, the senior director of Evolve Labs, discussing the development of Parts Companion, an AI-powered therapy companion. The conversation covers the philanthropic mission of Evolve Labs, the development of Parts Companion, its impact on clients and practitioners, and the ethical considerations around AI in therapy. Parts Companion is a revolutionary tool that allows practitioners to create their own voice and personalize the client experience. It also tracks client commitments, offers resources for education and integration, and provides clinical notes for practitioners. The tool is designed to support the IFS space and demonstrate a new way of building AI products.

Takeaways

• AI in therapy
• Philanthropic impact
• Client and practitioner experience
• Ethical considerations Personalized voice creation for practitioners
• Tracking client commitments
• Resources for education and integration
• Clinical notes for practitioners
• Supporting the IFS space and demonstrating a new way of building AI products

Chapters

• 00:00 Practical Application of Parts Companion
• 01:01:41 Cultural Attunement and Legacy Offering

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

A guided meditation session focused on checking in with parts at bedtime and offering self-compassion and presence. The session encourages acknowledging and holding space for the emotions and sensations that arise, allowing for rest and compassion.

Takeaways

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) meditation encourages self-compassion and presence.
• Acknowledging and holding space for emotions and sensations allows for rest and compassion.

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage
• 01:39 Preparing for the Meditation
• 03:11 Ending the Day with Presence
• 05:42 Inviting Self-Compassion and Presence
• 08:42 Acknowledging and Holding Space for Emotions
• 11:02 Offering Compassion and Presence
• 13:29 Releasing the Day's Weight and Resting
• 15:57 Closing and Final Remarks

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE FREE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

In this session, Tim Fortescue discusses the habit of reaching for our phones at the end of the day and the impact it has on our well-being. He explores the concept of internal family systems and the importance of acknowledging and creating space for our parts. Tim invites listeners to end the day with their parts instead of their phones, emphasizing the practice of being present and compassionate.

Takeaways

• Ending the day with our parts instead of our phones can lead to a more peaceful and settled state of mind.
• Acknowledging and creating space for our parts at the end of the day is essential for self-energy and well-being.

Chapters

• 00:00 The Phone as a Distraction
• 02:59 Understanding Our Parts
• 05:10 Creating Space for Self-Energy
• 08:18 Acknowledging Our Parts
• 13:10 Ending the Day with Our Parts
• 15:31 Turning Toward Our Protectors
• 17:27 The Practice of Being Present

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXLPOREIFS.COM

The episode guides listeners through a meditation to connect with and hold space for different parts of themselves, exploring numbness, shut down parts, and distant parts with curiosity and compassion. It emphasizes the healing process in small increments and the importance of holding all parts gently.

Takeaways

• Healing happens in small increments
• Hold all parts gently

Chapters

• 00:00 Holding All Parts Gently

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY. GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

The episode explores the concept of numbness in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, reframing it as a protective mechanism rather than a sign of disconnection. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and softening protectors, and encourages a gentle approach to working with numbness.

Takeaways

• Numbness is a protective mechanism, not a sign of disconnection.
• Softening protectors and approaching numbness with curiosity and gentleness can lead to healing.

Chapters

• 00:00 Creating a Sacred Space
• 07:04 Softening Protectors

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

The podcast episode guides listeners through a meditation session, focusing on creating a sacred space, checking inside, being with a part, and practicing relationship. It emphasizes the importance of building connection and gentle awareness with one's inner world.

Takeaways

• Creating a sacred space for self-exploration
• Practicing relationship with inner parts

Chapters

• 00:00 Building Connection