Let's Be Cleere

Hiiii friends!!!

I want to talk about something I’ve been recognizing in myself lately, and I have a feeling I’m not the only one. In fact, I know I am not the only one because as I started to marinate on this and bring it up in conversations, my friends quickly empathized and agreed that many of us

Somewhere along the way, I think we have started treating available capacity like an invitation to fill it.

If I have a free afternoon, surely there’s something productive I could do with it. If I have the ability to help someone, shouldn’t I? If an opportunity is good, why wouldn’t I take it? And if I used to be able to juggle all of these things, shouldn’t I be able to figure out how to do it again?

It’s almost like having room for something automatically means that room needs to be occupied. And the strange thing is, I can do this with really GOOD things. Work I love. People I care about. Opportunities I’m grateful for. Responsibilities I genuinely want to steward well. However, I’ve been wondering whether I’ve confused being faithful with being fully utilized??? Those are not necessarily the same thing.

Just because there is room for something in my life doesn’t mean God intended for it to live there.

In a world that constantly encourages us to optimize, expand, improve, and make the most of every available minute, margin is not allowed. Empty space on our calendar actually makes us feel uncomfortable sometimes. But what if some of the space we’re so eager to fill is actually space God wants us to protect? Not because He’s calling us to do nothing, but because He’s forming something in us that requires more than our ability to accomplish things.

Hiiii friends!!!

Okay, so last time we talked about the hidden cost of living scattered, and I feel like the natural question after that conversation is: Great. But how do we actually STOP?

I can tell myself be present all day long, but then I remember the toothpaste while I’m writing, grab my phone to order it, see a text, answer the text, remember something else I need to look up and somehow ten minutes later I’m reading reviews for something I never intended to buy AND WE STILL DON’T HAVE TOOTHPASTE.

So today, I want to get incredibly practical.

But first, I think we have to get RID of the idea that wholeness requires a less full life. There are seasons where life is FULL. People need us. Work needs us. Our families need us. There are appointments and deadlines and decisions and relationships and responsibilities that aren’t going anywhere. Some seasons are inherently more busy than others— that is reality. I am not expecting you to somehow find a different life, okay?

I don’t think wholeness means having fewer moving parts. I think it means those parts stop pulling us in opposite directions.

My body can be here while my mind is tomorrow. I can be doing something important while mentally following every thought that interrupts me. I can be responsible for one thing while emotionally carrying five others. None of those moments feels particularly significant, but by the end of the day, I’ve left little pieces of myself everywhere.

So how do we begin gathering them back?

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You can be sitting at dinner while your mind is answering an email. Playing with your kids while mentally preparing for tomorrow. Praying while thinking about the twelve things you need to do when you’re finished.

We’re physically in one place, mentally in another, emotionally carrying something from three hours ago—and wondering why we feel so tired.

In the first episode of the Rooted, Not Rushed series, Cleere is putting language around something so many of us are experiencing: scatteredness. Not necessarily a life that’s too busy, but a life where our attention, bodies, thoughts, and spirits rarely seem to occupy the same place at the same time.

We’ll talk about what this way of living is quietly costing us, why hurry is about more than the speed of our calendars, and how the habits we repeat are forming us. Because we are all being discipled—the question is, by whom or by what?

If you’ve ever ended a day wondering where it went—or realized you were technically present for your life but somehow missed a lot of it—this conversation is for you.

You don’t need a different life to become a different kind of person within it. Let’s start growing roots right here.

Do you want to know the quickest way to feel seventeen again?

For me, it’s a concert.

There is something about live music that strips away the mental clutter. The to-do lists. The emails. The pressure. For a couple of hours, nobody is thinking about what happened yesterday or what’s waiting tomorrow. You’re simply there. Singing. Laughing. Remembering. Fully alive inside a moment you can’t get back.

A couple of weeks ago, Will and I went to Nashville with some dear friends for Alan Jackson’s final concert, and it was one of those nights I’ll remember for a long time. It was his farewell show so the artist lineup was unreal! Luke Combs, Thomas Rhett, George Strait— sooo many good ones! They weren’t just performing songs—they were telling stories. Then they’d step offstage, disappear into the crowd, and become fans again, singing every word with the rest of us.

As I looked around the stadium, I couldn’t stop thinking about how present everyone was. Thousands of people weren’t just hearing music. They were remembering first dances, high school summers, road trips, parents, grandparents, old friends, and seasons of life that had long since passed. One song somehow held the past and the present at the same time. It was as if everyone had collectively decided, “For these next few hours, I’m going to be fully here.”

Read all the notes for this episode and more at cleerelystated.substack.com

Have you ever watched your child struggle with something and immediately felt the urge to step in?

Maybe they couldn’t find the right words in a conversation.

Maybe they were frustrated by homework.

Maybe they forgot something important.

Maybe they felt nervous before an event.

Maybe they were disappointed by a friendship.

Or maybe they were standing on a stool trying to fill up their own water bottle, taking twice as long as it would take you.

Maybe they were struggling to zip their jacket.

Order their own meal.

Ask the question themselves.

Carry the bag.

Tie the shoe.

And before they even had a chance to work through it, you were already reaching for a solution.

Explaining. Fixing. Helping. Rescuing.

If you’re a parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Chances are, when it’s happening in real time, you don’t even realize you’re doing it.

Because watching our children struggle is uncomfortable.

Personally, I think it’s often harder to watch your child struggle than it is to face your own struggles.We love them. We want to protect them. We want to spare them unnecessary pain. We want to make things easier when we can.

Sometimes we see the obstacle before they do. Sometimes we see their potential and all the possibilities that lie ahead, and because we can spot the roadblock coming, we want to clear it before they ever reach it.

The motivation is beautiful. It’s love.

We love them so much that we want to spare them heartache. Frustration. Disappointment. Embarrassment. Failure. We want to cushion the fall before it ever happens.And honestly, this is something I think about all the time with Sledge.

As a special-needs parent, this question carries an extra layer for me. There are moments when helping is absolutely necessary.

Moments when support, advocacy, therapy, and intervention matter deeply.

But there are also moments when I find myself asking:

Am I helping because he truly needs help?

Or am I helping because I’m uncomfortable watching him struggle?

Because if I’m honest, there are times when Sledge has proven himself far more capable than I expected.

He adapts.

He perseveres.

He figures things out.He keeps trying.And over and over again, he reminds me that capability is often built in the very moments we’re tempted to step in.

Lately I’ve been wondering something.

What if, in our effort to help, we occasionally step in too soon?

What if some of the very experiences we’re trying to save our children from are the experiences that would help them discover what they’re capable of?

What if every time we rush in before they actually need us, we unintentionally communicate a message we never meant to send?Not, “I’ve got you.”

But, “I don’t think you’ve got this.”What if our constant rescuing quietly teaches them to doubt their own resilience?

To question their ability to problem-solve?

To believe that discomfort is something to escape rather than something they can move through?

Because confidence isn’t built when someone else always does it for us.

Confidence is built when we discover that we can do hard things.That we can recover.

That we can adapt.

That we can try again.That we can survive disappointment.

That we can face challenges and keep moving forward.

That God has equipped us for more than we realize.Even if we fall.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it takes longer than we’d like.

Even if the water bottle spills all over the floor.

That’s why I was so excited to sit down with my friends Sissy Goff and David Thomas to discuss their new book, Capable: How to Teach Your Kids the Strengths, Skills, and Strategies to Build Resilience.

Get all the notes and resources on from this podcast at cleerelystated.substack.com and join the community!

Last week we talked about what happens when life pivots. How panic narrows our perspective. How our minds start filling in gaps God never filled in. How one conversation, one disappointment, one unanswered question can suddenly occupy far more emotional real estate than it deserves. We talked about the temptation to regain control when life feels uncertain and the invitation to trust God’s character when we don’t yet understand what He is doing.

But this week, I want to take that conversation one step further. I don’t want this to feel redundant but it felt important to walk through and camp out in for a moment. Because recognizing panic is one thing. Becoming steady is another.

When I revisit Genesis 22, what strikes me most is not the miracle at the end of the story. It’s not the ram in the thicket or even Abraham’s obedience. It’s the pace of the story— it’s the ordinary movements happening beneath extraordinary pressure.

Get all the notes and extra content at https://cleerelystated.substack.com

There’s a story in Scripture that feels almost too extreme to relate to—and yet somehow, it speaks directly into this exact tension. Hang with me here for a second.

Genesis 22: 1-2 says:

Some time later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called.

“Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.”

“Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.”

Here, God asks Abraham to take his son Isaac—the very promise he waited years (many years!!!!) for—and offer him as a sacrifice. A sacrifice. Yes, you read that correctly. It sounds assaulting and impossible that a loving God would ask that, doesn’t it? And Scripture doesn’t soften it. God even says, “your son, your only son, whom you love.” He’s not unaware of what He’s asking.

If I’m Abraham, I’m asking for confirmations, second opinions, and maybe a burning bush or five. But that’s not what we see. Abraham gets up the next morning… and he goes.

And here’s what’s wild: it’s not immediate. It’s a three-day journey.

“The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son, Isaac. Then he chopped wood for a fire for a burnt offering and set out for the place God had told him about. On the third day of their journey, Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. “Stay here with the donkey,” Abraham told the servants. “The boy and I will travel a little farther. We will worship there, and then we will come right back.”

Three days of walking.
Three days of thinking.
Three days of holding something that doesn’t make sense.

And if we’re honest, that’s where most of us unravel. Personally, that sounds excruciating. There were some moments in the NICU after my son, Sledge was born where things felt really shaky and uncertain. There were so many what-ifs. I have very stark memories of begging Jesus, “Please Jesus, please let us keep him. I will never ask for another thing in this life. Please let us keep him and heal him.” The space between is always the hardest part— it is anything but passive. The waiting. The wondering. The time where your mind has room to spiral.

Read more at cleerelystated.substack.com

Have you ever walked through something hard—maybe a tragedy, a really heavy season, or even just a stretch where you’re juggling more than you can carry—and someone looks at you and says, “Let me know if you need anything”?

You smile. You say thank you. You mean it. And they mean it!!! But deep down, you already know… you’re not going to let them know. Not because you couldn’t use the help but because you don’t even know what you need. And even if you did, you’re not sure you have the energy to explain it, ask for it, or coordinate it.

There are moments in life when everything feels heavier than usual. Not always in ways you can explain—just an undercurrent of restlessness that swirls in your chest, a mental fog you can’t quite clear, a weight you’ve learned how to carry without naming. And in those moments, something in you goes quiet—not because you don’t feel cared for, but because you don’t feel met.

Read the full podcast notes at cleerlystated.substack.com

I think we all feel assaulted by how quickly the days seem to move by and how it is possible for us to care so deeply about something… and still feel like we are barely keeping up with it. Or even more honest—we are giving priority to so many other things and get distracted from investing in what matters most to us.At the top of this list—our marriage.Where we don’t mean to be, but somehow we feel disconnected. It’s not that we don’t care or that we are indifferent; rather, it’s that life is moving so fast and we have made it our normal to let the person we value the most next to Jesus receive the last of our energy, tenderness, and attentiveness of heart.Read more at cleerlystated.substack.com and subscribe to The Living Room!

Have you ever noticed how the entire week leading up to Easter, we tend to focus almost exclusively on the resurrection?

The celebration. The revival. The empty tomb. We are HYPE!

We are planning for the Easter brunch or the easter egg hunt and all the ways we love to commemorate Easter— and all of these are GREAT and fun and HOLY things to do— I just think that sometimes, we forget how the very story we are celebrating actually transpired and what that means for our everyday reality.

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If you listened to last week’s episode, you know this series isn’t about demonizing the internet or pretending we can all move to the woods. That would be nice sometimes— real life gets exhausting. Uncomfortable. Hard. Confusing. But also, it is soooooooo good and so sweet— and my fear? That we miss so much of that. Not because we aren’t “spiritual enough” or because our faith is lacking; it is simply due to a lack of awareness.Online isn’t the enemy.Constant availability is.When we live perpetually “on,” something in us begins to thin out—our awareness, our presence, our capacity to receive what God is actually doing right in front of us.**More in-depth notes and outlines on https://cleerelystated.substack.com/

This conversation started not because I think social media or the internet is the enemy— that would be a little crazy considering you are reading this on an app and you most likely heard about it through social media. I am SO GRATEFUL for the gift of the online space, the community it provides, the resources it has illuminated, and the ability to connect with others in the most unique ways.

However, I started to notice that I was literally scrolling at night and I could not even tell you what I saw. I was numbing out and I knew it, and yet I kept doing it.

I noticed how tired my mind felt even when my body was still. How easily my attention scattered. How quickly I moved from one thing to the next without really being in any of it. Nothing dramatic. Just subtle. Quiet. Cumulative.

Join "The Living Room" on Substack for more in depth notes on this episode! https://cleerelystated.substack.com

Friendship didn’t stop mattering when we became adults.

It just became more layered, more tender, and more vulnerable.

The Bible never treats friendship as optional or superficial. From the very beginning, God said something was not good — and it wasn’t work, purpose, or responsibility. It was isolation.

“It is not good for man to be alone.” — Genesis 2:18

Friendship is not a bonus feature of life.

It’s part of how God forms us.

But because adult friendship looks different than it used to, there are a few quiet lies that tend to creep in — often unnoticed — and shape how we interpret our experiences.

Dive deeper into the notes from this episode and more on substack at cleerelystated.substack.com

So much of our anxiety, exhaustion, and restlessness isn’t coming from bad choices—but from unexamined ones.

Our calendars quietly shape our formation. What we allow onto them forms who we are becoming.

These nine questions aren’t rules. They’re bumpers—loving boundaries that help you steward your time with wisdom, peace, and faith.

Continue the Conversation

Additional reflections, extended audio, and written notes from this episode are available by subscribing to The Living Room on Substack.

Have you ever found yourself in a season where the unknowns feel stacked on top of each other? You’re praying, you’re showing up, you’re doing what you know to do—but the future still seems hazy. It’s like driving through heavy fog: you can see enough to keep moving forward, but what lies ahead feels blurred and out of reach.

Seasons like this can make you wonder if God is distant, distracted, or even silent. But what if the fog isn’t proof of His absence, but a space for deeper formation? What if, instead of clarity, God is offering you the gift of closeness? In this episode, we talk about how fog-filled seasons are often the places where God is most at work, reshaping your vision and anchoring your trust in Him. Could it be that the fog is your greatest gift to increase your faith and understand a new level of intimacy with the Shepherd?

Through honest stories, Scripture, and gentle rhythms for drawing near, you’ll be encouraged to:

• Name the fog that’s clouding your peace and perspective.

• Recognize the pull toward control when what you really need is communion.

• Anchor your heart in who God is, not just what He does.

• Choose praise as warfare when clarity is out of reach.

• Stay near to Jesus when the way forward feels uncertain.

If your heart feels unsettled, your prayers seem unanswered, or you’re simply weary from the not knowing, this conversation is for you. It’s a reminder that proximity to God—not clarity of the path—is what steadies you. The fog isn’t your enemy; it may be the very place God reshapes your vision and deepens your trust.

What do you do when your life looks fine on the outside… but deep down, you’re wondering, “Is this really it?”

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Rachel Awtrey—host of the Real Talk with Rachel podcast and author of her brand new book, Love Your Life, Even When You Don’t Like It. Rachel is the girl you want in your corner: deeply honest, wildly encouraging, and somehow able to make you laugh and cry in the same breath.

We talk about what it looks like to actually love your life when it feels boring, heavy, or just plain hard. Not in a cheesy, throw-a-gratitude-journal-at-it kind of way—but in a real, boots-on-the-ground, Jesus-meets-you-in-the-middle kind of way.

Rachel shares:

• Why honesty is the doorway to freedom

• How to hold grief and gratitude at the same time

• The difference between joy for life and joy in life

• And the questions that helped her stop faking “fine” and start living free

If you’ve ever felt guilty for not loving the season you’re in—or if you’ve ever whispered “I love Jesus but I kind of hate this part of my life right now”—this episode is a safe, sacred space for you.

You don’t have to love every part of your life to love your whole life. This conversation will show you how.

Order “Love your Life (Even when you don’t like it all the time) here: https://amzn.to/4odAc2P

Follow along with Rachel on IG here:

What do you do when the outcome you want feels out of reach?

When the people you love are walking through things you can’t fix…

And when control feels like a survival tactic you just can’t shake?

In this episode, I sit down with Jodie Berndt—speaker, author, and the voice behind the Praying the Scriptures series—for a conversation that goes way beyond parenting.

Whether you’re single, married, parenting toddlers, teenagers, or simply trying to love the people in your life well… this episode is for you.

We talk about:

• Why surrender is at the heart of every healthy relationship (marriage, parenting, or otherwise)

• What it really means to trust God when your heart feels protective, anxious, or out of control

• How to pray Scripture over your marriage (and why praying for your spouse changes you, too)

• What to do when God feels silent

• Releasing the need for quick fixes and embracing the long game of faith

• Identity in seasons when prayers feel unanswered

This is not a conversation about perfect prayers or tidy outcomes. It’s about choosing trust over fear… surrender over striving… and remembering that God cares even more than we do.

Where to find Jodie:

• ​Website: jodieberndt.com
• ​Instagram: @jodie_berndt

What do you think about in the moments you believe might be your last?

When Vallie Collins boarded US Airways Flight 1549, she never imagined it would be known as the Miracle on the Hudson. And she certainly didn’t expect to hear the captain’s voice over the speaker say, “Brace for impact.” But on that cold January day in 2009, her life—and every perspective she held—was about to be radically redefined.

In this episode, Vallie opens up about the fear, surrender, and surreal clarity that met her in those final seconds before the crash… and how surviving it has forever changed the way she lives.

We talk about what legacy means when you’ve stared death in the face, how eternal perspective becomes more than just a concept, and why faith isn’t the absence of fear—but the courage to keep flying anyway.

Vallie shares what it was like to return to the air after the crash, how she’s raising her kids with a sense of grounded gratitude, and why she believes every single day is a miracle worth noticing.

Her story is a breath of perspective, a challenge to live with intention, and a reminder that when your feet touch the ground again—physically or spiritually—you don’t walk the same.

This conversation will leave you asking:

• What really matters when everything else fades?

• How would I live differently if I truly believed each day was a gift?

• Am I living in a way that reflects what I want to leave behind?

Tune in for a story that will stir your soul, soften your fears, and inspire you to live more fully today—because you never know what moment will change everything.

What’s it like to grow up with a front-row seat to fame, only to find yourself center stage in a story you never saw coming?

In this episode, Cleere sits down with the radiant and real Mattie Jackson—author, speaker, podcast host, and daughter of country music legend Alan Jackson—for a conversation that’s equal parts heartache and healing, grit and grace.

Mattie opens up about what it was like to grow up in the spotlight, and how even that couldn’t prepare her for the deep grief of losing her husband just months into marriage. She shares how grief can shape us into people we barely recognize—not because we’re weak, but because we’re suddenly living in a world we never prepared for. And yet… God.

This episode is rich with wisdom, full of laughter, and tenderly honest. Together, we talk about:

• What happens when your life no longer looks like your life

• The “limbo years” where God rebuilds slowly and sweetly

• How to stay open to joy, even when it feels like betrayal

• Why grief doesn’t cancel your calling—it deepens it

• What Mattie’s learning now about love, dating, and rebuilding

Whether you’re walking through loss, navigating transition, or just wondering how to hold joy and sorrow at the same time, this conversation will remind you: even in the ruins, God is still writing beauty. And He doesn’t waste a single tear.

Find Mattie Jackson here:

• Website: mattiejackson.net

• Instagram: @mattiejackson

• Books: Lemons on Friday and Through the Valley of Grief – available wherever books are sold

There’s a quiet unraveling that can happen in the name of doing it all. You wake up one morning feeling like a shadow of yourself—your schedule’s full, your to-do list is long, but your soul feels thin. You’re showing up, sure… but not from a place of wholeness. “Something has to shift”, you think.

In today’s episode of Let’s Be Cleere, I’m joined by my dear friend Alyssa Joy Bethke—author, mama (now to four!), podcast host, and truth-teller whose life is such an example of what it means to steward what matters and learn to release what doesn’t. Her newest book When Doing It All Is Undoing You has been an anchor for countless women feeling stretched, worn, and quietly wondering, “Is this how it’s supposed to feel?”

Together, we talk about the ache and glory of motherhood, the refining nature of life’s transitions, and the sacred undoing that often comes before deep healing. Alyssa shares what it looks like to embrace slow rhythms in a world that tells us to run faster—and how rest, surrender, and small faithfulness are often the truest signs of strength.

Whether you're in a season of busyness, transition, or simply trying to breathe deeper and live slower, this episode will meet you there—with gentleness, wisdom, and the invitation to lay it all down.

✨ In this episode, we explore:

• How undoing can be the beginning of healing

• The myth of balance and the beauty of surrender

• Her CRAZY, miraculous birth story of her fourth, Jayden (you won’t want to miss this one!)

• Rhythms of renewal in the thick of motherhood

• Why your worth was never meant to be earned

This one feels like a deep breath. A reminder that less really can be more, and that you’re already deeply loved right where you are.

More from Alyssa Joy Bethke:
🌿 Website: http://www.alyssajoybethke.com
📖 Book: When Doing It All Is Undoing You
📸 Instagram: @alyssajoybethke
🎧 Podcast: The Real Life Podcast