MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

Have you ever wanted to pray but couldn't find the words? Or wondered if reading someone else's prayer is somehow cheating? I mean, aren't we supposed to come up with our own prayers? I've definitely wrestled with that one. 😂

Today I'm talking with Doug McKelvey, author of the beautiful Every Moment Holy books, and this was a conversation I didn't realize how much I needed. We talk about finding God in the ordinary moments of life, why written prayers can be so meaningful, and his newest book, Every Moment Holy: Rites of Passage, which every parent of a teenager or young adult needs to know about.

But one of the most meaningful parts of our conversation was Doug sharing his experience during a season when he was doing exactly what he believed God had called him to do, yet so many things in his life seemed to be going wrong. It wasn't until someone asked him a simple question that he began to consider whether he was facing spiritual resistance. His perspective gave me a lot to think about in my own life, and I think it will for you too.

I'm so glad you're here for this conversation!

All things Cynthia

Every Moment Holy

Every Moment Holy: Rites of Passage

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If you've ever convinced yourself your kindergartner's reading struggles mean he'll never get into college, hold a job, or leave your house, welcome. I've been there. 😂

After 23 years of parenting, I've learned that some of the things we worry about most aren't the things that matter most. And some of the struggles we desperately want God to take away from our kids might actually be the very things He's using to shape them.

Today we're talking about what it means to build our families on a firm foundation in a world that seems to value everything but the things that matter eternally. I'm also sharing four parenting lessons I learned at the playground (because apparently there's more to learn there than just how to avoid getting taken out by a swing).

We're talking about letting kids struggle, not comparing their paths, finding the right people, and figuring out what success should actually look like for our families.

Because at the end of the day, our goal isn't to raise impressive kids. It's to raise kids who know and follow Jesus.

Whether your kids are five or twenty-five, this one's for you. And trust me, I needed the reminder just as much as anyone.

For more playground rules parenting advice check out Life is Messy, God is Good

All things Cynthia

Survey

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After 25 years of marriage, I've learned one critical thing: my husband loves a good gift, and I'd prefer someone just unload the dishwasher. And that's just one of the many things we're talking about with this week's legendary guest, Dr. Gary Chapman, the man who literally wrote the book on love languages.

We're talking about why you can know your spouse's love language and still completely miss the mark. Turns out, there are different "dialects" within each love language, and what makes one person feel loved might drive another person absolutely crazy. We get into why good intentions aren't always enough, how to stop turning every disagreement into a courtroom argument, and why the attitude we bring into marriage might matter more than how we're feeling about our spouse on any given Tuesday.

Dr. Chapman also shares some great advice on loving our kids as they grow, why our love languages can look different depending on the season of life, and one simple question we should be asking our spouses every few weeks. Oh, and if you're wondering about the behind-the-scenes of my conversation with one of the world's leading relationship experts, I'll just say I accidentally missed our original interview. Thankfully, grace appears to be one of his love languages, too.

Don't miss this one, friends. It's funny, practical, and a really good reminder that loving someone well isn't just about what we're giving, but whether they're actually receiving it.

The Love Language That Matters Most by Dr. Gary Chapman

5 Love Languages Website

All things Cynthia

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I’ve had the privilege of interviewing Pastor Max Lucado many times over the years, and somehow it never gets old. He’s someone so many of us have admired for years and years, which means I decided it was time to ask him a few questions I’ve been saving. You’re welcome. 😊

Today Pastor Max tells us the spiritual habit that has shaped his faith more than any other, what he wishes every 40-year-old knew, what every 70-year-old needs to remember, which Bible character he most wants to sit down with in heaven, and what he would preach if he only had one sermon left.

I know, right?

We also have such a meaningful conversation about courage—what it looks like to stay steady when you feel outnumbered, discouraged, exhausted, or like you’re the only one trying to live faithfully. Max takes us into the life of Elijah and reminds us that courage isn’t about never struggling, but knowing where to anchor your faith when you do.

This is such a special conversation with one of my spiritual heroes. I can’t wait for you to listen. And pretty please, share it with a friend too!

All Things Cynthia

Unbreakable Courage: Strong Faith in an Age of Anxiety, Chaos, and Exhaustion by Max Lucado

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Last week on MESSmerized, I talked about what happens when you’ve prayed and prayed . . . and nothing seems to change. You know God is good. You know He hears you. But sometimes it still feels like He’s nowhere to be found.

That’s why this week’s conversation with Tammy Trent feels so timely.

Tammy lost her husband in a tragic diving accident in Jamaica on September 11, 2001, and that loss began a very real journey of asking God where He was in the middle of unimaginable pain.

Today we’re talking about what Tammy has learned in the 25 years since then—how to trust God when you can’t feel Him, why hard questions don’t mean you have weak faith, why truth has to carry us when our feelings can’t, and how to let go of the life we thought we were supposed to have. She also shares some incredibly specific ways God met her in the middle of her grief.

If you’ve ever thought, “God, do You see me? Do You hear me? Where are You in this?” this conversation is for you.

Also, if someone came to mind while you were reading this, send it their way pretty please!

Where are You Now God? By Tammy Trent

All things Cynthia Yanof

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Tell me I’m not alone. Have you ever prayed for something so long that you’ve started wondering, “Are You there, God? It’s me, Cynthia.”

Today we’re talking about Habakkuk and what prayer looks like when God feels silent, His answer makes no sense, or nothing seems to be changing.

Habakkuk gives us three things to hold onto:

Honesty. God can handle the real prayer—the frustrated, confused, “Where are You?” prayer.

Higher ground. Sometimes we need to get out of the weeds, quiet the noise, and let God’s Word—not our circumstances—shape what we believe.

Hope. Habakkuk doesn’t end with everything fixed. He ends with confidence that God is still sovereign and will give him the footing to walk whatever terrain is ahead.

If you’re waiting, wondering, or wrestling with God right now, today’s show is for you.

P.S. — If you haven’t filled out the MESSmerized survey, will you do that pretty please? It’s right here!

P.P.S. — If you enjoyed today’s show, will you share it with your besties?

All things Cynthia

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I recorded this interview right before meeting some friends for lunch, and I could not stop talking about it. By the time lunch was over, they had all bought the book. That’s how much this conversation got me.

And so . . . I’m thrilled to have Dr. Kathy Koch on the show today. The last time she was here, the response from you guys was incredible, and she was gracious enough to come back—even after I mistakenly called her dead one time. 😂

Today we’re talking about her book 8 Great Smarts, and I’m telling you, this one has changed the way I look at my kids—and myself.

Dr. Kathy walks us through the eight different “smarts,” how to recognize them, and why understanding the way God wired us can be so freeing. We talk about why struggling in school does NOT mean you aren’t smart, how some of the things that drive us crazy about our kids may actually point to their strengths, and even how understanding your smarts can help you recognize the ways you naturally relate to and connect with God.

Plus, I share how I passed the bar exam but never managed to pass a piano theory test after nine years of lessons. Make it make sense.

Turns out, life smarts a little less when you understand how you’re smart. See what I did there? 😂 And PLEASE share this one with a friend. I really think every parent—and honestly every adult—needs this word from Dr. Kathy.

All things Cynthia

8 Great Smarts by Dr. Kathy

Dr. Kathy’s Website

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WE’RE BACK! After taking August off, MESSmerized is officially back for a brand-new fall season. I’ve got lots to catch you up on in the intro, and first I just want to say thank you for giving me a little space to step away and recharge. It was so needed, and now we’re coming back firing with some incredible guests this fall.

And there was really only one way to kick things off: my dear close personal friend Candace Cameron Bure. And by “close personal friend,” I mean we’ve never actually met in person, talk about once a year, and I remain fully committed to making this friendship happen.

Candace and I talk about everything from becoming “Candy Graham” to two new grandbabies, what she’d tell her younger self about parenting, and why busyness can quietly steal our hope. We also talk about her new devotional, Wild Hope, the Scripture she memorized before heading into the Malaysian jungle for Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test, and of course, her Christmas movies. Plus, because apparently I learned nothing from last time, I put her through another Full House trivia game.

One more thing before you go: later this week I’m sending out a survey, as promised, because I really want your feedback on the show—what you’re loving, what you want more of, what you want less of, all of it. If you haven’t already, head to cynthiayanof.com and enter your email so you can be part of all the MESSmerized happenings.

Grateful for you friends . . . can’t wait to kick things off!

Wild Hope: A 30-Day Devotional to Overcome Life’s Challenges by Candace

Candace’s Live Tour

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Remember the time I accidentally killed off a guest? Me neither. 😬 Okay...so I confidently announced on another podcast that sweet Dr. Kathy Koch had been dead for years. Turns out she's very much alive, incredibly gracious, and has a fantastic sense of humor.

If you're wondering how to parent your adult children without driving them—or yourself—crazy, this episode is for you. We talk about the practical, biblical wisdom in Dr. Kathy's new book on navigating relationships with adult children. From knowing when to speak up (and when to zip it), to letting your kids struggle without rescuing them, navigating prodigals, kids moving back home, boundaries, and conflict, this conversation is packed with wisdom. Best of all, it's one of those conversations that will leave you encouraged instead of guilty.

And one little programming note: thank you for spending time with me each week. I never take that for granted. We'll be taking a little break over the next few weeks for some much-needed rest and relaxation. (Okay...who are we kidding?) Around here, it's more like moving kids back to college, buying elementary school supplies, and wondering why I live in Dallas with the ridiculous heat.

But don't worry—we'll be back in late August with meaningful conversations, plenty of laughs, and some guests I absolutely can't wait for you to meet. Thanks for being here. I can't wait to catch up with you then.

How’d I Miss That

All things Cynthia

Kathy Koch’s New Book

Kathy Koch’s Website

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Last night I had my Wednesday lunch girls over to celebrate a few birthdays, and as I looked around the table, I found myself feeling incredibly grateful. We've done life together through babies, college kids, aging parents, health scares, marriage struggles, celebrations, disappointments, and all the ordinary moments in between. It reminded me how much we were created for community. We need people who know our stories, tell us the truth, laugh with us, pray for us, and show up when life gets hard.

Which is exactly why I loved this week's conversation.

I sat down with author Becky Harling to talk about friendship—the lifelong kind, the complicated kind, and the kind that takes a whole lot more work than any of us expected.

We talked about loyalty, why assuming the worst about people rarely ends well, how to have hard conversations instead of quietly disappearing, and why every friendship eventually needs a little grace.

Becky also shared how her cancer journey reshaped the way she thinks about relationships, including loneliness, jealousy, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, unmet expectations, and all the other things that can make friendship feel harder than it should.

It was one of those conversations that left me thankful for the women God has placed in my life and reminded me not to take those relationships for granted. Deep friendships don't happen by accident—they're built over time, through showing up, extending grace, and choosing to stay connected even when it's hard.

If you have a friend who's walked through a season with you, checked in when you needed it most, or simply makes your life better by being in it, would you do me a favor? Send this episode to her. Friendship is something worth celebrating, and my hope is that this conversation encourages both of you.

I have a feeling you'll see yourself somewhere in this episode. Can't wait for you to listen!

All things Cynthia

Friend-Wise by Becky Harling

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This week, Cynthia and Melissa catch up on everything from ambulance rides and college move-out day to porch geese, peptides, protein goals, and why neither of them can pretend to care about the World Cup anymore.

Melissa shares the story behind her recent car accident (and the surprisingly attractive ambulance crew), while Cynthia relives her own ambulance horror story involving a stretcher apparently designed for someone much smaller than either of them.

They also compare notes on life with college kids home for the summer, including questionable fashion choices, suspiciously healthy savings accounts, and the sudden realization that their children now have better electronics, better clothes, and possibly better lives than they do. 😂😂😂

Along the way they discuss moving crews for dorm rooms, porch goose culture, Little House on the Prairie, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, lip flips, jelly shoes, hair perfume, outdoor furniture covers, and Melissa's plan to one day travel to Turkey for a facelift.

But beneath all the laughter is a meaningful conversation about gratitude. Melissa shares a simple phrase that has been challenging her lately: We are rich. Not because of what's in the bank account, but because of all the gifts God has already given us.

Come laugh with us. Summer is weird, our kids are grown, and apparently we're now at the age where facelifts and peptides are legitimate conversation topics.

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All things Cynthia

Melissa’s Website

Chicken-Fried Women by Melissa Radke

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Well... this was supposed to be our Father's Day episode. Then summer happened. Life got a little unhinged (in the best of ways), and Father's Day came and went before we could get it out. Which, as it turns out, is fitting for a conversation about parenting, grief, family, and trusting God when things don't go according to plan.

This week I sat down with my friend Jonathan Pitts, and we talked about fatherhood, grief, remarriage, blended families, raising daughters, and the things we've learned (and unlearned) over the years as parents.

Jonathan shares what changed after losing his wife, Winter, how he navigated raising four daughters through unimaginable loss, and what it looked like to build a new family after remarrying. We talk about the challenges of blending families, the gift of resilience, letting our kids experience hardship, the pressure dads feel to get everything right, and why we often spend so much energy trying to protect our children from the very things God may use to grow them.

One of my favorite moments was when Jonathan shared a phrase he and his wife repeated often while blending their family: Everything's not on the line.

What if we actually believed that?

This conversation is full of wisdom, encouragement, and practical reminders for parents in every season. And even though we missed Father's Day, I think it's exactly the conversation many of us need right now.

Can’t wait for you to listen!

For Girls Like You

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Welcome to MESSmerized! 🎤🎉

A quick note before we begin . . .

If you're one of the many new friends who recently joined us via email, I'm so glad you're here. Every week we talk about faith, family, relationships, and all the messy places where real life meets God's goodness. My hope is that you'll leave encouraged, challenged, and reminded that God is at work—even in the ordinary moments.

Welcome to the community. I'm so grateful you're here.

— Cynthia

Hey Friends,

What if the biggest threats to your marriage aren't the major crises—but the tiny daily choices you barely notice?

In today's show, part two of my conversation with Arlene Pellicane, we talk about the practical habits that help couples stay connected long after the wedding day. From misplaced Capri Suns and forgotten water bills to exercise equipment taking over the living room, we share honest stories from nearly three decades of marriage and why learning to laugh together might be one of the most important skills a couple can develop.

Together, we explore the power of gratitude, why so many marriages drift into a transactional roommate relationship, and how simple acts of service can transform a home. Arlene explains why happiness isn't found in perfect circumstances, social media comparisons, or expecting your spouse to meet every need. Instead, she shares practical ways couples can choose gratitude, support each other's dreams, put their phones down, and create rhythms of connection that strengthen a marriage over time.

If you've ever looked at your spouse and thought, I love you, but today I don't particularly like you, this conversation is for you. You'll walk away with simple, doable ideas for making marriage easier this week (and forever).

All things Cynthia

Arlene’s Website

Making Marriage Easier by Arlene Pellicane

The Happy Home Podcast with Arlene Pellicane

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If you've ever looked at your marriage and thought, We're fine... but this could be better, this two-part series is for you. Today, Arlene Pellicane reminds us that small actions repeated over time create big results and that healthy marriages are usually strengthened—or weakened—not by dramatic moments, but by the little things we do every day.

Arlene shares some surprisingly doable ways to create more connection in everyday life, including the importance of putting down your phone, having realistic expectations, and learning how to cheer each other on. We also discuss the power of pre-deciding—making intentional choices ahead of time about how you'll prioritize your marriage before life gets busy and distractions take over. We also discuss why so many couples drift into roommate mode and the surprising power of simple appreciation.

Whether you're newly married, celebrating decades together, or somewhere in the middle of raising kids and juggling responsibilities, this episode is full of practical encouragement. Be sure to come back next week for part two of this conversation with Arlene, where we'll continue exploring simple ways to make marriage easier, stronger, and more connected.

Arlene’s Website

Making Marriage Easier by Arlene Pellicane

The Happy Home Podcast with Arlene Pellicane

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This is the last week of our Mother’s Day Month of episodes, and we’re ending with a conversation that I think so many moms need to hear. This week I’m joined by my friend Somer Colbert to talk about parenting, expectations, fear, faith, and what it looks like to trust God when the journey doesn’t unfold the way we imagined. Whether you're raising a neurodivergent child or walking closely alongside someone who is, I know you’re going to appreciate today’s show.

Somer shares such practical wisdom about letting go of unrealistic expectations, learning to celebrate small victories, and trusting God with the parts of our children’s stories we can’t control. We talk honestly about mom guilt, the temptation to compare our kids to everyone else’s, and why saying the hard things out loud is often the first step toward freedom. One of my favorite parts of our conversation was the reminder that different does not mean less than—and that success may look very different than we once imagined.

I also share a personal story about a recent moment with my son that completely reframed what really matters at the end of the day. If you've ever worried about your child’s future, questioned whether you’re doing enough, or simply needed someone to remind you that you’re not failing, this conversation is for you.

All Things Cynthia

Called to Love Podcast

Somer Colbert

The Gift of Limitations by Sara Hagerty

More than a Conqueror Workbook

8 Great Smarts by Kathy Koch

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It’s Mother’s Day Month on Messmerized, and this week I’m bringing on one of my very favorite mom friends, Stephanie Martin. If you’ve ever wondered what it actually looks like to follow Jesus in the middle of real life—busy schedules, motherhood, distractions, exhaustion, comparison, guilt, and all—this conversation is for you.

Stephanie is one of those people who genuinely loves being in God’s Word, and honestly, I’ve always admired that about her. So I wanted to sit down and ask her all the questions I think a lot of us wonder: What if Bible study feels intimidating? What if your quiet time doesn’t look like everyone else’s? What if you’re in a season where you feel dry, distracted, or just plain tired?

We talk about the freedom of realizing there’s not one perfect formula for spending time with God, why some of us have carried unnecessary guilt around faith for years, and how God meets us in all kinds of different ways. Stephanie also shares practical ideas for getting started in Scripture without feeling overwhelmed, how praying Scripture over your kids can change the way you parent, and why community with other women matters so much.

We also got into one of my favorite parts of the conversation — learning how to genuinely cheer other women on instead of competing with them. Today’s show is practical, encouraging, funny, and full of reminders we all need.

All things Cynthia

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If you’ve ever cried after dropping a kid at college and then immediately enjoyed the quiet house and clean kitchen… this episode is for you. I sit down with my friend, speaker, and longtime Pardon the Mess host Courtney DeFeo for a conversation that somehow covers Target boycotts, Auburn obsession, empty nesting, insecurity, friendship boundaries, and the emotional climate of your home—all while making you laugh harder than you expected.

Courtney shares why she’s stepping away from Pardon the Mess after three years hosting the show I originally launched, and we talk honestly about what it means to release something you love with open hands. We get into parenting girls, surviving the college launch years without emotionally collapsing onto your children, and the weird tension of missing your kids desperately while also appreciating that nobody has trashed your house in 48 hours.

We also unpack one of Courtney’s favorite topics: the “tone” of your home. What do people actually feel when they walk in. Safe? Seen? Critiqued? Loved? Included? Courtney shares practical wisdom about small “attitude maneuvers” moms can make that completely shift the atmosphere of a family.

There’s also encouragement here for moms entering a new season. As kids grow up and launch, we talk about how motherhood was never meant to be the end of your story. There’s still purpose, calling, creativity, and probably a few embarrassing new adventures ahead.

All things Cynthia

All things Courtney DeFeo

Pardon the Mess

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Happy Mother’s Day week, friends. Truly—sending you lots of love this week. 💐

Now before I say anything else… I implore you to listen to this episode. Consider this your Mother’s Day gift from me. It is that good. Like sit-in-the-car-after-it-ends-because-you-need-a-minute good.

I sat down with Sharon Mankin, and it turned into one of those conversations that stirs something in you. At the core, she reminds us: you’re not as confused or off-track as you think—you’re probably just moving too fast to hear what’s already true.

We talk parenting (and yes, over-functioning 🙋‍♀️), learning to step back so our kids can grow, and how sometimes our need to fix things is more about us than them. She also challenges us to be more intentional about the “DNA” of our families instead of just drifting with culture.

And then we get into transitions—empty nesting, changing seasons, and how disruption, as hard as it is, can actually open the door to new vision and purpose.

It’s wise, practical, and deeply encouraging. Go listen. 💛 (Oh—and I tell a Mother’s Day story in the intro that hopefully reminds us all to be grateful… even in May-cember.)

All things Cynthia

Connect with Sharon Mankin HERE.

Find questions to ask family and friends to get feedback on your gifts, strengths, and passions Here.

Explore how to identify your family values and write a family mission statement with Morgan Taylor HERE or Family ID HERE.

Build a healthy mindset using Jon Acuff’s book, Soundtracks HERE.

Dive into the concept of Benevolent Detachment in the Wild at Heart podcast HERE or in John Eldridge's book, Get Your Life Back, Here.

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With Mother’s Day around the corner, I’m kicking off a month of conversations focused on moms and the people we love most—and it felt only right to start by bringing on one of my own kids.

So I sat down with Kate (my daughter) and Molly (her “great friend,”)—who showed up in matching bonnets from the Dollar Store… which honestly tells you everything you need to know about how this episode starts. If you missed these two last time they were on the show . . . you are in for some real fun today.

They’re both in that in-between season—wrapping up college and stepping into the next phases of life—and as we talked, it became clear pretty quickly: most of what shaped them over the last few years didn’t come from a classroom.

We talked about friendship—what actually makes someone a good friend and how rare it is to find people who can truly celebrate others well, especially when they’re hoping for the same things themselves. We talked about relationships too, and the balance of wanting someone who loves the Lord while also finding a real connection and joy together.

But what I loved most was hearing how their faith has become their own. Not something they simply grew up around, but something they’ve had to choose—through real experiences, meaningful friendships, and stepping into things bigger than themselves.

As we kick off a Mother’s Day month of encouragement, today’s show is thoughtful, funny, and gives you a real-life glimpse into what’s actually shaping your kids in the college years.

All things Cynthia

Kate’s Foster Care Podcast

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Today’s episode starts with my youngest… accidentally macing the entire second floor of our house. If you haven’t heard this story, you’re missing out.

And then, naturally, we pivot to: are we raising kids who can actually handle life?

I sat down with my friends from Raising Boys & Girls, David Thomas and Sissy Goff, and we talked about why so many kids today feel overwhelmed, anxious, and honestly… kind of incapable. Not because they’re not smart or talented—but because somewhere along the way, we started rescuing more than we were equipping.

We get into:

• why kids are avoiding risk (and what that’s doing to them)
• how TikTok became their therapist (terrifying)
• the difference between helping your kids and accidentally handicapping them
• and how to raise kids who can “shake it off” instead of falling apart

Also—if your kid can’t make a decision without calling you 14 times… we address that too. 😬

Come for the pepper spray story. Stay for how to raise kids who won’t mace themselves… metaphorically or otherwise.

All Things Cynthia

Capable by David Thomas and Sissy Goff

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