Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Personal Stories of Polyamory, Swinging, and Beyond

We’re thrilled to share this conversation with Kiki! She’s an Australian sexologist who’s spent more than a decade helping people explore sexuality, relationships, and pleasure while also breaking down stigma and shame. Join us as she shares her own journey of untangling shame and confusion around her desires, particularly her complicated relationship with arousal and cheating, and how discovering ethical non-monogamy helped her find a path toward greater honesty and understanding.

Kiki also talks about the evolving relationship with her husband and how they’ve navigated opening and closing their relationship multiple times, renegotiating agreements, and finding a balance between meeting each other’s needs and honoring their individuality. Along the way, we explore the messy realities of honesty, boundaries, jealousy, and the difficult question of when full transparency helps—and when a little softening might be kinder. We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we do.

Kiki Maree is a queer-inclusive somatic sexologist and intimacy educator with over 14 years of experience, specializing in trauma-informed, somatic and science-backed approaches to desire, boundaries, kink and relationships.

She is the author of four children's sex education books and founded an international training school in 2016, where she has trained aspiring sex coaches from around the world. She also spent a year in China teaching thousands of women about pleasure, desire and consent.

Known for her engaging stage presence, critical thinking and compassionate approach, Kiki creates shame- and judgement-free spaces where people feel safe to explore sexuality, ask honest questions and have meaningful conversations.

Learn more about all of Kiki's work on her website: http://www.yonilicious.com.au

Check out the full show notes here.

Come Join us at Relationship Recess April 9-11, 2027!

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We’ve known Dr. Liz for nearly a decade, and we’re so excited to finally have them on the podcast! We have a powerful conversation about their lifelong journey of navigating the tension between who they were expected to be and what felt truly authentic to them. From following the conventional path of marriage to embracing solo polyamory, Liz shares how they’ve learned to honor their own needs and build deep, meaningful relationships outside traditional relationship scripts. Along the way, they share so much wisdom about accepting people as they are, recognizing when a connection isn’t the right fit, and navigating relationships within community with care and compassion. It’s a beautiful conversation about creating a life rich with connection, friendship, and joy while approaching ourselves and others with greater kindness, respect, and grace.

Dr. Liz believes that great sex can change the world. They are the author of Building Open Relationships, a sex educator, podcast host, and licensed psychologist (CA 27871, OR 3068) specializing in queer, kinky, and non-monogamous relationships. Dr. Liz has helped folks of all kinds become more confident in who they are and communicate more effectively with their partners. You can learn more about Dr. Liz and all of their work on their website: https://drlizpowell.com/

Check out the full show notes here.

Come Join us at Relationship Recess April 9-11, 2027!

Check out the Relationship Recess hype video!

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It’s been four years since we first talked with Rainy and Paco way back on Episode 262. They’re back today with an update about how their relationship and approach to non-monogamy has evolved and what it’s meant to more fully embrace who they are. They talk about finding freedom in being fully themselves, building chosen family through deep friendships and shared experiences, and embracing their version of non-monogamy which doesn’t fit neatly under any one label. We also explore how ADHD, Autism, C-PTSD, OCD, and their different approaches to sexuality all shape the way they navigate non-monogamy and how they embrace explicit agreements and rules to approach everything as a team. These two are such a delight and this conversation is a beautiful and heartfelt look at the freedom that comes from knowing yourself, communicating openly, and creating relationships on your own terms.

Check out the full show notes here.

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In this episode, we talk with Trixie, a non-binary genderqueer sex educator, coach, and activist, about their journey to embracing polyamory and overcoming the shame and societal expectations that once made it difficult to express who they were. We explore their expansive approach to love and relationships, where partners, metamours, and deep friendships all have a place, and why honest communication and finding community have been so transformative along the way. We also talk about their gender liberation work, the importance of building inclusive spaces, and what it means to embrace all the ways we can love, connect, and show up authentically.

Trixie Lamonte (Ariel) is a professional coach with an expertise in poly, sex, relationships, communication, desire, gender, sexuality, confidence, self-love, BDSM, transformation work, and radical expression. Trixie is a professional workshop facilitator, educator, writer, consultant, performer, public speaker, and ritualist. Trixie is also the founder of Gender Blender, a community dedicated to trans and nonbinary liberation and is proud to be poly, kinky, queer, and a gender rebel. Trixie is well known for hosting hot play parties, gogo dancing, MCing, and poly joy! For more information about all of Trixie's work check out http://www.polyexcellent.com.

Check out the full show notes here.

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In this episode, we speak with Steve about life after a 25-year marriage and how seven years of dating and exploring relationships have changed the way he thinks about connection. He shares stories of friendships that became romantic and then returned to friendship, relationships that moved between exclusivity and openness, and the lessons he’s learned about being clear and intentional about what he wants. We talk about the possibilities, and challenges, of fluid relationships, including his current long-distance, non-monogamous relationship and his experience of briefly trying monogamy again before realizing how much pressure it placed on the relationship to become “everything.” Steve also reflects on his belief that relationships are kind of a “final frontier” for learning about ourselves, and his desire to explore that possibility without feeling bound by the societal scripts and expectations of the relationship escalator.

Check out the full show notes here.

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This week we talk with Victoria about her relationship history and the different paths that led her to non-monogamy, from early experiences with infidelity to exploring swinging and an open marriage with her ex-husband. She takes us through the complicated evolution of that relationship, including the challenges of secrecy, boundary-setting, and discovering her needs for affection, desire, and connection that weren’t being met. Since her marriage ended two years ago, Victoria has been on a journey of figuring out what kind of polyamory works best for her, learning new communication tools, and becoming more comfortable exploring relationships without feeling the need to seek permission. We also talk about her current solo poly life, non-hierarchical polyamory, anchor partners, jealousy, and the many things she continues to learn about herself along the way.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Forrest has been together with his wife, Joanne, for over 25 years, and about six years ago they decided to open their relationship after navigating mismatched libidos for much of their partnership. Throughout our conversation Forrest discusses how they’ve maintained a deep connection and intimacy throughout their relationship regardless of this mismatch. He also shares the impact of menopause on Joanne’s mental and physical health, along with the changes it brought to their sexual relationship, and the vulnerability and shame they both experienced as they explored non-monogamy while remaining deeply committed to their marriage.

We also talk about how Forrest’s partners, Kathy and Annie, have grown to become an important part of their shared life and sources of love and support, particularly following Joanne’s diagnosis with a progressive neurodegenerative disease. This is a beautiful and incredibly moving conversation about love, commitment, chosen family, and what it means to keep showing up for each other through life’s biggest challenges.

Check out the full show notes here.

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This fascinating interview with Amanda is a bit kinkier than usual and it comes with a twist… Amanda and her partner are actually monogamous at the moment. Gasp! We have a wonderful conversation about her current 24/7 D/s relationship, how she and her partner practice bringing jealousy and possessiveness into the light, and their ongoing conversations about possibly opening their relationship. She also takes us through her journey of slowly and intentionally opening up previous relationships, how shame and secrecy around her kink shaped these early relationships, and she reflects on how our relationships can be exactly what we need at a certain point in our lives—and how even painful endings can create room for something new.

Amanda Dames, aka The Kink Consultant, is a sexologist, Somatica® Certified Sex and Relationship Coach, podcast host, and former NYC Dominatrix specializing in kink, intimacy, and communication. Through coaching, education, media appearances, and her podcast The Kink Consultant, Amanda helps people explore desire without shame while making kink feel approachable, empowering, and rooted in consent, confidence, and connection.

Check out the full show notes here.

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In this lovely episode, Bekki shares their journey of embracing non-monogamy and how, for them, it extends far beyond romantic relationships to include community, career, parenting, and the many meaningful commitments that make up life. We also discuss legal protections for unmarried partners, including cohabitation agreements, parenting arrangements, medical decision-making, and challenges that can arise for polycules and mixed family structures. Along the way, we cover collaborative divorce, intentional conversations about needs and boundaries, and the power of building supportive community around non-traditional families. Please note that although Bekki is an attorney, nothing in this interview should be considered legal advice.

Bekki Callaway (they/them) is an attorney and mediator in the San Francisco Bay Area. Their legal practice, New Horizons Family Law, is focused on creating collaborative solutions for family transitions that take into account the unique needs of each family while treating all individuals with respect, compassion, and kindness. Bekki works with LGBTQ+, non-monogamous, and other non-traditional families and allies. They are passionate about creating community and chosen family. Bekki co-founded the Poly Alt Parenting group, which holds regular potlucks and discussions for non-monogamous families and allies, and also runs a meditation and support group for sex positive women.

Bekki graduated from Berkeley Law in 2010. Prior to starting New Horizons, Bekki worked as a Branch Chief in the Refugee, Asylum, and International Operations Directorate of U.S. Customs and Immigration Services. Bekki also practiced civil litigation and white collar criminal defense at Freshfields in New York. Bekki is a member of Collaborative Practice East Bay, Bay Area Lawyers for Individual Freedom, and the LGBTQ Bar, as well as the Alameda and Contra Costa bar associations.

Bekki publishes articles about non-traditional families, alternative parenting styles, and the intersection of non-traditional families and the law at the New Horizons Newsletter.

Check out the full show notes here.

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This week we’ve got our fourth and final (for now) interview with the team from the Kink Collective! In this conversation we bring together the two founders, Joshua and Cat from Episodes 451 and 452, along with Natalie from last week, on Episode 453, for a beautiful look into how they run a business, live together, and are all romantically and sexually intertwined in various ways. It's a fabulous chat and we hope you enjoy it!

The Kink Collective is a community and educational organization dedicated to helping successful people build successful relationships built on the philosophy of “people before kink” and the idea that who we are comes before what we do. You can learn more about The Kink Collective on their website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Natalie shares a ton of incredible insights about her sexuality, relationships, power exchange, and personal growth in this beautiful conversation. She’s been kinky her whole life and “officially” entered the kink scene when she went to college at age 18. She’s also been exploring various relationship models including polyamory for the last few years and is currently 25 years old and in a triad with multiple significant age gaps.

We’re blown away by Natalie’s intentionality, insight, and curiosity and we love how she sees life as one big experiment—and how embracing that mindset has helped her build fulfilling relationships and a deeper understanding of herself.

As the Organizational Manager for the Kink Collective, Natalie fuels the mission of “People Before Kink” through strategic communication and community leadership. As a 2025 Northeast Regional Power Exchange titleholder, she works alongside co-founders Cat and Joshua to promote intentional exploration of sexuality and BDSM education worldwide.

Professionally, she amplifies the collective's voice through dynamic social media content, event promotion, and ensuring every message is both approachable and community-centered. As a professional dominatrix and aspiring educator, Natalie combines integrity, clear communication, and confident leadership to expand the collective's reach while cultivating her own powerful footprint in the lifestyle.

Check out the full show notes here.

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The mid-nineties were a time of powerful transformation, self-discovery, and healing for Cat. After getting sober, she had a bit of a reckoning with her sexuality, first thinking she was a lesbian before realizing she was pansexual while at the same time discovering the world of kink and BDSM. She's now been exploring some form of non-monogamy for over 30 years and today she shares her incredible journey with us.

Cat is a transformative leader in the kink, BDSM, and leather communities, with 30+ years of experience, mentorship and advocacy. Alongside partners Joshua and Natalie, she earned the 2025 Northeast Power Exchange Educational Title, celebrating her innovative approach to power dynamics as a tool for empowerment.

Her journey began in San Francisco’s leather scene, where early mentorship ignited her passion for community building and personal growth. As co-founder of the Kink Collective, educator, and counselor, she bridges kink with personal development, healing around trauma and grief, and sexual wellness.

Rooted in honesty, integrity, and transparency, Cat creates spaces where people are seen, valued, and empowered—whether exploring identity, grief, recovery or desire. Her work proves that profound healing happens when we dare to own our stories.

Check out the full show notes here.

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In this beautiful interview with Joshua he shares how his family, culture, and upbringing helped shape his ideas and approach to masculinity, sex, power, and intimacy. As he describes it, he was a habitual cheater who was seeking "power over" in his partnerships and the pattern was subconscious until he met his partner Cat, and everything started to change. Joshua’s story is a powerful reminder that our pasts don't define who we are today, and that we all hold the power to heal and repair ourselves, and our relationships.

Joshua is a facilitator, educator, and advocate empowering individuals through self-discovery and intentional relationships. With 15+ years of experience, he guides people—especially men—in navigating modern masculinity, sexuality, and personal growth.

As co-founder of the Kink Collective with his partner Cat, he designs programming that fosters confidence and authentic connection. In 2025, their work with partner Mistress Natalie earned them the Northeast Power Exchange Educational Title, honoring their innovative use of power dynamics for empowerment.

Based in East Harlem, Joshua curates transformative experiences at The Sanctuary, a community space in his childhood neighborhood dedicated to identity, relationships, and conscious evolution. Their philosophy, “People Before Kink” drives his mission: equipping individuals with the tools to build self-authored, fulfilling lives.

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We'll be back soon! 😘

Kalah has lived a life full of incredible experiences, partners, and adventures as well as a life full of love, intimacy, and pleasure… And she just turned 40 last year! While our conversation today definitely has plenty of wild and fantastical stories, Kalah’s whole journey is really all about love. Yes, it’s about loving others, but perhaps more importantly, it’s about figuring out what we want in life, following our own pleasure, being open to what life has to offer, and loving ourselves unconditionally.

Kalah has brought her ethic of love into her professional work, as well. As the founder of In Love We Trust, Kalah works with people who have mastered everything except peace in intimacy. Her clients are brave, full of love, ready to examine the patterns that keep them from being truly met, and willing to build relationships that honor their wholeness. She is a keeper of a human pleasure lineage - remembering that our pleasure is sovereign, that desire is wisdom, and that erotic energy is life force itself. Kalah is an alchemist of intimacy. She offers devoted witnessing, sacred discretion, and transformational containers - reimagined for liberation and love.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Naomi woke up to the fact that she’s polyamorous a few years ago, but looking back on her life she realizes polyamory is actually part of her identity and now everything makes so much more sense. Over the last few years Naomi and her husband have had to completely reinvent their entire relationship together to create something that works for both of them. Today, Naomi lives with her husband and her boyfriend, but it’s not quite that simple… Naomi is polyamorous while her husband considers himself monogamous and has another partner of his own. How do they do it? Join us today to find out!

Naomi is also a life coach and has created a community dedicated to empowering polyamorous folks to create resilient relationships rooted in trust, connection, and freedom. You can find links to Naomi’s work on her Instagram!

Check out the full show notes here.

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In this fascinating interview, Ryan seamlessly weaves together his own personal journey with his work and research as he shares the origins of his expertise: three life-altering non-monogamous partnerships. One ended abruptly, triggering a severe depression that ultimately led him to recognize this work as his true calling.

Ryan, a self-styled ‘Relationship Theorist’, offers articles and private sessions designed to guide singles, couples, and throuples toward lasting happiness in their connections. He reanimates established psychological and philosophical models to assist those navigating every stage of the relationship lifecycle—dating, relating, breakups, makeups, and beyond.

Ryan is based in London and is getting ready to publish an extended collection of his articles. His Kickstarter to fund the professional editing of his groundbreaking book—which collates and expands on his articles about relationship etiquette and dating competence—is launching in June 2026, in sync with his own gritty, witty memoir detailing with brutal honesty the trials, triumphs, and tragedies of his adventures starting in March 2023.

Ryan's background, philosophy, online tools, articles and availability are available on his website and you can support his Kickstarter here.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Glory had a bit of experience with non-monogamy before getting married to her best friend back in 2005. After getting together they were monogamous until 2017 when they slowly began opening their relationship after starting to explore a bit of kink and Shibari. Since then, they’ve been figuring out what works best for them as individuals and as partners.

This interview with Glory is one of the most powerful conversations we’ve had on the podcast. Glory spent her twenties trying to navigate life, love, sex, and relationships with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and as a result she was the victim of some horrific and traumatic experiences. Her resiliency, compassion, and way of loving unconditionally shine throughout the interview and are an inspiration.

Please be aware that our conversation today may be triggering for some. Glory talks about her experiences with bipolar, PTSD, being raped, being sexually assaulted, and losing a close friend to suicide. She shares with us that telling her story publicly was part of her healing journey and we’re honored and grateful to be part of it.

We also feel that sharing these stories is healing, empowering, and de-stigmatizing for anyone who hears them. We hope this conversation moves you as much as it did us.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Join us for this incredible conversation as Reid shares his personal origin story of becoming the queer polyamorous slut that he is today. He also takes us behind the scenes into his journey of becoming a sex educator, and how his work was often inspired by his own need to learn and figure out how to do sex and relationships in a better way. And… Along the way we uncover a ton of tips, tricks, and wisdom that Reid has learned over the years and how he uses the tools he teaches to improve his own life and relationships.

As seen on NETFLIX' "Chelsea Does..." alongside Chelsea Handler, Reid Mihalko (he/him) of https://reidaboutsex.com/ is an internationally known sex and relationship geek who helps adults create more self-esteem, self-confidence, and greater health and accountability in their relationships and sex lives using an inspiring mixture of humor, personal stories, keen insight, and comprehensive sexual health information.

In early 2018, some very brave people came forward during #MeToo sharing harms that Reid had caused them. Reid stepped down from teaching and initiated a restorative justice-based accountability process to address his misconduct and make amends if and where possible. The formal, year-long process along with Reid’s apology and resources were shared publicly and can be found at TinyURL.com/reidaccountability. Going forward, Reid’s projects and appearances will include pointing people towards resources and experts on restorative and transformative justice-based accountability processes.

Reid’s workshops and college lectures have been attended by over 60,000 people from all over the globe. He has appeared in media such as Oprah's Our America With Lisa Ling on OWN, NETFLIX, Montel, Dr. Phil's The Doctors on CBS, Bravo's Miss Advised, Fox News, in Newsweek, Seventeen, GQ, The Washington Post, and in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Reid is also founder of Sex Geek Summer Camp, Sex Geek Conservatory, and Sex Geek School for Gifted Sex Geeks, which help sex educators learn valuable business skills that allow them to reach more people with greater ease, transform more lives, and make a better living as sexperts.

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Courtney is a polyamorous mother of three who’s been married for over 21 years and has only recently began exploring polyamory, and her sexual self, after slowly deconstructing her religious upbringing.

Courtney's marriage had become really challenging and about four years ago she proposed the idea of opening up so she could get her needs met. It didn’t go well. At one point, she even told her husband that she wasn’t in love with him anymore because she had so much anger and resentment.

And now, just a few years later, they’ve opened their relationship, Courtney has a new-ish long-distance partner, and as you’ll hear… She and her husband are more in love than they’ve ever been. Heck, they even started a YouTube channel together!

Of course, it wasn't quite that easy! The journey Courtney, and her husband, have been on together and individually has been incredibly difficult, healing, and is so inspiring. Join us today as she shares her beautiful and powerful story with us!

Courtney Boyer, M.Ed., M.S., is a therapist-turned-relationship coach, writer, and speaker helping people navigate love, sex, and modern relationships with more honesty, freedom, and authenticity. As the in-house Sex Expert for Pjur’s U.K. market and author of Not Tonight, Honey and Opened, Courtney brings both professional expertise and lived experience to conversations about desire, communication, and redefining relationships outside the mainstream. Check out all of Courtney's work on her website!

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