Not Quite Grownup

Send Caitlin a Text!

Caitlin gave up on layered necklaces for years because her long nails could not win a fight with a clasp, until a cheap pack of magnetic clasps changed everything. Inspired by a viral Threads thread of boring, life-changing finds under $30, she rounds up the small fixes that make daily life easier, from scissors in every room to a bin labeled "safe place," plus the one trick behind most of them.

• Send Caitlin a text with your own boring, life-changing finds, or leave a review and mention this episode.
• Read the blog post for this episode.
• Stay up-to-date with Not Quite Grownup. Join the email list.

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Who Should Listen...

• Moms who are tired of the small, daily frustrations that eat up energy, like the missing scissors, the dead phone, and the package you can't open
• Anyone shopping for stocking stuffers or small gifts that people will actually use
• Listeners who love the "boring but life-changing" corner of the internet and want recommendations that aren't built to sell
• Anyone who has ever put something in a "safe place" and never seen it again

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What You Get In This Episode

• The trick behind most of the list: buy a second (or third, or seventh) of whatever you need and keep it where the annoyance happens, labeled so it goes back where it belongs
• A cheap fix for fighting with necklace clasps, including multi-hook magnetic clasps for layering
• A car checklist built on the idea that the car is just another room
• A rundown of small fixes, from lazy Susans and silicone wrist guards to pill organizers and a metal cat litter scoop
• The "safe place" bin: one labeled spot to check when you can't find something

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Your Host

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood.

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Sources & Mentions

The original Thread from @just_mejamie:

“What’s something under $30 you use constantly that nobody ever talks about? I want boring life-changing sh*t.”

• sheet locks (@megangannonreindl),
• grocery grips (@mellorell),
• a tiny bathroom-counter vacuum (@emraldsun), and one for the desk too
• motion-activated night lights (@mbduff.75),
• and the safe-place bin (@angelawithpurplehair)
• Multiple commenters for:

• toiletries that never leave the travel bag,
• grabbers and car tongs,
• bathroom smart plugs for curling-iron panic,
• a rolling cart or labeled baskets for things that belong in other rooms

• ChomChom pet hair roller
• Caitlin is not an Amazon affiliate. Everything in this episode comes from the Threads thread or items she swears by, and there are no affiliate links in these notes.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

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• Love you, mean it.

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Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

"There's too much that will make you upset to not start taking action." - Caitlin

Warning: This content discusses school violence, a sensitive topic that may be triggering for some.

Update: This episode recommends YouLobby as a way to find your representatives’ contact information. That site is no longer online. To find and contact your federal, state, and local elected officials, enter your address on USA.gov’s Find and Contact Elected Officials page.

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In the wake of the shooting at Silver Rail Elementary School in Bend, Oregon, I’m bringing this episode back again. It keeps happening. I keep having to hit republish, and I wish, more than anything, that I didn’t have to.

If you’re feeling helpless and angry right now, you’re not alone. But the women who listen to this show don’t stay helpless for long. You’re women of action.

This episode, originally from April 2023, walks you through concrete steps you can take to advocate for safer schools and prevent future tragedies. My former co-host, Jenny, and I cover effective advocacy strategies, policy changes that work, and meaningful ways to support victims’ families.

Let’s turn that fury into action and honor these victims by fighting for the safer schools our children deserve.

• Want a deeper dive on this topic? Read the blog post.
• Stay up-to-date with Not Quite Grownup. Join the email list.

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Who Should Listen...

• Parents and caregivers who are angry, scared, or heartbroken after another school shooting and want something concrete to do with those feelings
• Listeners looking for practical ways to take action, including contacting legislators, voting in local elections, and asking questions about their own school’s safety policies
• Anyone who wants to focus on prevention and mental health support, including listeners who see gun regulation differently but agree on keeping kids safe
• Teachers, school staff, and PTA parents who want to understand safety policies like Alyssa’s Law and how to follow and support them
• Anyone who wants to help victims, families, and affected communities in ways that go beyond a hashtag

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What You Get In This Episode

• 6 Practical ways to take action after a school shooting
• Why mental health support in schools matters—and how to advocate for it
• Policies you can advocate for, including extreme risk protection orders, safe storage laws, and Alyssa’s Law
• The power of local elections and why your vote matters for school safety
• Concrete ways to support victims and families affected by gun violence

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Your Host

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood. She has a background in education and believes parents deserve practical steps for making their kids’ schools safer.

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Sources & Mentions

• 5 Ways to Take Action After a School Shooting | Teen Vogue
• Sandy Hook Promise
• The Sandy Hook Promise Action Fund
• Everytown Support Fund
• Protect Our Schools
• Make Our Schools Safe
• March For Our Lives

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
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Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Caitlin and her best friend almost ghosted each other for their monthly standing dinner date, and the panic that followed turned into a real revelation about why adult friendships that felt effortless all summer suddenly take so much more work once fall hits.

• Stay up-to-date with Not Quite Grownup. Join the email list.

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Who Should Listen...

• Moms who've realized their adult friendships ran almost entirely on summer proximity—pool days, camp pickup, kids colliding at the park
• Anyone who's had that gut-drop moment of almost missing time with a close friend
• Listeners who feel like they're "complaining a lot lately" and need the reminder that naming what's hard isn't the same as failing at life
• Fans of Caitlin and Jenny's friendship who want an update

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What You Get In This Episode

• Why adult friendships often depend more on built-in summer structure (pool days, camp pickup, kid overlap) than people realize
• The moment Caitlin and her best friend Jenny each texted the other asking "did I stand you up?" — and what that panic revealed
• A concrete, low-effort fix: picking a date, adding it to shared calendars, booking the reservation, and setting multiple reminders
• A recap tying together the last few episodes' themes — none of it is a personal failing, it's just what happens inside systems she didn't build

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Your Host

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood.

—

Sources & Mentions

• Jenny: Caitlin's best friend and former co-host, referenced throughout for their standing monthly dinner date
• The Grove (Austin area): the restaurant where Caitlin and Jenny have their standing date
• Gossiping at The Grove: a candle from a local shop, a gift from Jenny referencing their tradition
• Threads: @not_quite_grownup: where listeners can reach out with episode topic ideas
• Text link at the top of the show notes: another way for you to send in topic requests
• Callbacks to recent episodes: the day-four back-to-school routine episode, the mental load / $600 episode, and the fall vibes crochet pumpkin episode

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

It's still over 90 degrees out, but Caitlin has already crocheted five pumpkins, one fall leaf, and fully committed to a Halloween playlist she started listening to in July. This episode is a fully unhinged, very funny confession about why fall is more than a season for her—it's a mood she has to manufacture by force.

📧 Sign up for Caitlin's email list to get the crocheted pumpkin photos sent straight to your inbox. And Fall Girlies: Answer the poll in the blog post for this episode to let Caitlin know you're listening!

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Who Should Listen...

• Anyone who's ever gotten irrationally mad at Halloween candy showing up in stores in August
• "Fall girlies" who start decorating before the weather cooperates
• Listeners who want something light, funny, and low-stakes after some heavier recent episodes
• All y’all who cope with an unbearable season by throwing youreselves into a project (craft or otherwise)

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What You Get In This Episode

• A very honest confession: fall isn't just a season for Caitlin, it's a mood she has to manufacture herself for her mental health
• The real epiphany: she was never actually mad at Halloween candy showing up early—she's mad that summer refuses to end
• Her current fall arsenal: one crocheted leaf, five crocheted pumpkins, three real pumpkins, and zero regrets
• A reminder that sometimes coping with a season you can't control looks like a completely ridiculous craft project, and that's fine

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Your Host

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood.

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Sources & Mentions

• H-E-B—referenced for its early seasonal displays (Halloween candy, Día de los Muertos decor) and, lovingly, for "doing the Lord's work"
• Caitlin's favorite Halloween Party playlist, including "Werewolves of London" and "Thriller," (started playing this in July)
• Black Panther—mentioned as background viewing during a crochet session
• Email list signup—link at the top of the show notes for anyone who wants to see those famous crocheted pumpkins

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

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My Back-to-School Overwhelm Cost Me $600

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A triple-charged PTA fee, an unread dentist appointment reminder, and 9 unopened school emails on Labor Day morning—Caitlin's mental load hit a breaking point before fall even really started. This episode is about why that "admin crap" always seems to land on one parent, and why missing something doesn't mean you're failing.

• Stay up-to-date with Not Quite Grownup. Join the email list.

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You Need This Episode If...

• You’re a mom carrying the bulk of household and school administrative tasks, even if you’re in a relationship with a genuinely helpful partner
• Anyone who's missed a form, a fee, or a deadline and spiraled into shame about it
• Parents feeling the fall administrative overwhelm hit before the season's even really underway
• Listeners who assume they're just "bad at tracking things" when the real issue is structural

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What You'll Get

• Why the mental load of school admin defaults to one parent—even in households with genuinely equal partners
• A reframe: missing something isn't a personal failing, it's evidence of a workload that was never built for one person to carry
• Why "8 productivity hacks to stop missing things" isn't the answer, and what to focus on instead
• Real, small ways Caitlin's distributing the load: writing things down immediately, handing off specific tasks to her husband, scheduling reminders instead of relying on memory
• An invitation to share your own "unset dentist appointment" story for solidarity

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Your Host

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood.

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Programming Note

Caitlin's moving from weekly to biweekly episodes going forward, to give her the space to do this show well.

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Sources & Mentions

• Ali Wong's comedy special Don Wong—referenced for her line about how much more successful she'd be with a wife
• The Help—referenced briefly regarding the historical unpaid labor of Black women managing households for white women
• Smash Mouth's "All Star"—referenced/paraphrased ("the tasks keep coming and they don't stop coming")

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

It's day four of school, the bus comes in six minutes, and Caitlin's carefully planned back-to-school systems have already fallen apart. This episode is about what happened when trying harder wasn't the answer, and the one new thing that actually stuck in this year's routine.

• Stay up-to-date with Not Quite Grownup. Join the email list.

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Who Should Listen

• Moms whose back-to-school routines are already falling apart, even after real planning
• Anyone who's bought the new planner, the color-coded pens, or the habit tracker app that died by day four
• Parents who feel like they're failing at their own advice
• Listeners who need to hear that it's okay if the "right" systems just don't work for your family

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What You'll Get

• Why a system can work perfectly over the summer and still collapse by day four of the school year
• The real problem: it's not laziness or lack of effort; it's building routines for a family that doesn't actually exist in your house
• Why the "new planner, new me" trap rarely works, and why that's not a personal failing
• The one small change Caitlin's keeping (four words: teeth, socks, shoes, backpack) and why it's working where everything else didn't
• A reminder that the routine or system that'll actually stick is probably already in your house—it's just not the shiny new one

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Your Host

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood.

—

Sources & Mentions

• School Morning Rules for Moms Who Hate Mornings by @rosettewilson_ on Threads
• Next episode teaser: the avalanche of back-to-school paperwork and forms

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
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• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Your Favorite Summer Habits Don't Have to Retire in September

Just as I finally settle into summer ease, the back-to-school countdown starts creeping back in. In the finale of the Sane Mom Summer series, I ask the question that matters most as fall approaches: does the joy have to end just because summer does? (Spoiler: duh, no.)

• Stay up-to-date with Not Quite Grownup. Join the email list.

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Who Should Listen

• Moms who feel that familiar anxiety creeping back in as summer winds down
• Parents who tend to let self-care slide the second the school year starts
• Moms looking for a simple, doable way to protect the good parts of summer through fall
• Anyone who's followed the Sane Mom Summer series and wants the wrap-up

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What You'll Get

• Why summer joy tends to disappear the second school starts
• Heather Moulder's self-care equation, and why "self-care" belongs above the to-do list instead of buried at the bottom of it
• A simple exercise: naming three specific things from summer that genuinely made you feel like yourself
• How to actually protect that time with one bigger, calendar-worthy ritual and one small, recurring one
• The throughline for the whole Sane Mom Summer series: you get to notice what works for you and build around it

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Your Host

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood.

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Sources & Mentions

• Heather Moulder's self-care equation (work + family + chores + other — with "other" including self-care), referenced as the framework for prioritizing self-care in the epsiode

• How To Stop Feeling Guilty About Taking Care Of Yourself | Heather Moulder
• How To Say No Without Feeling Guilt (Step-By-Step Instructions) | Heather Moulder

• Sane Mom Summer series:

• Episode 205: Lowering the standard for a less “picture perfect” summer
• Episode 206: Confidence
• Episode 207: Not letting the internet dictate your summer
• Episode 208: ADHD in summer mode
• Episode 209: Making the B2S transition more manageable

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

A back-to-school commercial ruined Caitlin's day—and made her realize why the whole season feels like a giant mom-run group project. In this episode, she breaks down why back-to-school hits so hard, and shares real (borrowed, stolen, and tested) tips to make the transition feel manageable.

Stay up-to-date with Not Quite Grownup. Join the email list.

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Who Should Listen

• Moms feeling that tight-chest anxiety just thinking about back-to-school
• Parents managing the shift from loose summer routines back into school-year logistics
• Parents of kids having big feelings about a grade-level milestone (last year of elementary, etc.)
• Anyone in the Sane Mom Summer series looking to carry that "easier on yourself" energy into fall

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What You Get In This Episode

• Why back-to-school hits so much harder than it should: (because it's more than a logistics checklist, it’s a full family transition)
• A reframe that makes it manageable: Change “let’s have the perfect first day” to “what actually matters right now?”
• Four practical resets: reset sleep/wake times early, simplify the first week, use visual supports, and talk openly with your kid about the transition
• A grab bag of extra tips—practicing the school drive, tax-free shopping weekends, the lunchbox leftovers talk, and a genius trick for back-to-school clothes shopping
• A reminder that it’s okay for the first two to three weeks to be a little bumpy!

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Host Bio

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood.

Sources & Mentions

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• Episode 77 — "Back to School Prep: Two Teachers and Moms Help You Start the School Year Right" (with former co-host Jenny), for additional back-to-school tips
• Sane Mom Summer series recap: Episode 1 (lowering the bar), Episode 2 (confidence), Episode 3 (not letting the internet run your nervous system), Episode 4 (ADHD in summer mode)
• Tax-free weekend / state sales tax holiday for back-to-school shopping in Texas: Friday, August 7, through Sunday, August 9, 2026
• Next episode teaser: wrapping the Sane Mom Summer series by carrying summer's ease into the school year

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

How Summer Secretly Wrecks Your ADHD Brain

School's out, routines are gone, and if your ADHD brain feels extra chaotic right now, you're not lazy — you're just missing the structure summer quietly stole from you. In this episode of the Sane Mom Summer series, Caitlin breaks down why ADHD symptoms intensify in summer and shares real, low-effort supports that actually help.

• Stay up-to-date with Not Quite Grownup. Join the email list.

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Who Should Listen

• Moms with ADHD (diagnosed or self-suspected) who feel more scattered, emotional, or overstimulated once summer hits
• Parents managing shifting routines, camp schedules, and loosened structure
• Anyone in the Not Quite Grown Up "Sane Mom Summer" series looking for practical, non-glamorous coping tools
• Listeners who feel shame around not "enjoying summer enough"

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What You Get in This Episode

• A reframe for ADHD shame: scattered ≠ lazy — it means your brain needs different supports, not more willpower
• Why summer specifically wrecks ADHD coping mechanisms (hint: it's the missing structure, not you)
• The "acceptance before action" mindset, borrowed from an unexpected source (Amanda Knox)
• Five concrete, unglamorous tools: visible reminders, external structure, task-shrinking, action-before-motivation, and low-stakes systems (baskets, checklists, snack bins, alarms)
• Permission to stop chasing motivation and just start the smallest possible step

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Your Host

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood. Diagnosed with ADHD at 38, she brings that lens to episodes like this one, talking openly about what actually helps rather than what's supposed to.

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Sources & Mentions

• Sane Mom Summer series:

• Episode 205 — Lowering the standard for summer
• Episode 206 — Confidence
• Episode 207 — Not letting the internet dictate your summer
• Episode 208 (this one) — ADHD in summer mode

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What’s Next

Back-to-school without the mommy meltdown

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

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Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

You started summer with one goal: keep life calmer, lighter, less chaotic. Then you scrolled for two minutes and suddenly your summer looks underwhelming compared to someone else's perfectly curated highlights. Your nervous system is dysregulated, your confidence is shaken, and you're convinced everyone else has figured something out that you missed. Let’s fix that.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Get reminder emails!

Summary

Your real life matters more than content, even when it doesn't photograph well. A meaningful summer doesn't require a curated feed. It requires protecting your attention and refusing to absorb other people's chaos as your own. This episode shows you how.

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You Need This Episode If...

• You feel tense, anxious, or "behind" after scrolling
• You're scrolling for relief when you're tired but ending up more fried
• Your feed makes you feel like you’re sucking at summer

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What You'll Get

• Why your brain reaches for social media when tired (and why it backfires)
• How algorithms actually work—dwell time is the algo-impact you didn't know about
• Clear signs your feed is dysregulating you
• 4 practical boundaries that fit real mom life (ex: “shower before screens”)
• A self-check question to stop spiraling and return to what's actually real

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Your Host

Caitlin is the host of Not Quite Grownup and a content marketer who knows her way around an algorithm. She's also the woman who will pry Threads from her cold, dead hands, so this isn't about quitting social media—it's about protecting your peace within it.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

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Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

You're allowed to quit the gym without explaining why.

You're allowed to say no without an explainer paragraph.

You're allowed to let someone else sit with their discomfort while you trust your decision.

This episode is about what real confidence looks like, and it doesn't require you to be loud, polished, or certain.

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You Need This Episode If:

• You find yourself overexplaining every decision you make
• You've been managing everyone else's feelings instead of trusting your own
• You’re looking for a way to build the kind of confidence that spills into other areas of your life

What You'll Get:

• A realistic definition of confidence that actually works for moms
• Why overexplaining kills your confidence (and how it opens the door for pushback)
• The gym cancellation story that changes everything about how you see boundaries
• Practical ways to build self-trust with small choices
• Why silence is one of your most powerful tools

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Your Host:

Caitlin is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms who are trying to keep it together with their watered-down iced coffee and realistic expectations. She's figuring this out in real time, right alongside you.

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Bottom Line:

Real confidence isn't about being loud or having it all figured out. It's about knowing what you want, trusting your decisions, and being willing to let things be a little awkward, one small choice at a time.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected with Not Quite Grownup

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Summer is supposed to be relaxing. Barefoot kids, popsicles, pool days, sleeping in. So why does it make you feel like you're barely holding it together?

The answer isn't that you're doing something wrong. Summer genuinely breaks moms—not because you're weak, but because the structure you've been relying on all year suddenly disappears and gets replaced with a thousand tiny decisions you have to make every single day.

This episode is about why that happens, what it actually costs you, and how to get through summer without completely losing your sh*t.

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You Need This Episode If...

• Summer has you making decisions from 6 AM to bedtime with no breaks
• You're feeling guilty for not making summer "special" enough
• You're exhausted by the constant "what should we do today?" questions
• You want practical ways to protect your sanity (not add more to your plate)

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What You'll Get

Why summer breaks moms:

• The decision fatigue that comes from losing routine
• How the pressure to make summer "magical" actually works against you
• What your nervous system actually needs during unstructured months

What "sane" actually looks like:

• Four realistic weekly goals
• Permission to lower the bar without guilt
• Real talk about what your kids actually remember

Practical ways to cope:

• How to pre-decide choices so you're not deciding the same thing every day
• Building tiny rituals that protect your peace
• Protecting your evenings (and why it matters)
• Setting boundaries around the pressure to perform in the summer

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Your Host

Caitlin is a former teacher, current mom, someone who is already losing her mind in June, and someone who’s learning that surviving summer break with your sanity intact is the real win this season.

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Summer doesn't need to be amazing. It needs to be survivable in a way that leaves you still liking yourself and your kids at the end of August.

Give yourself permission to lower the bar. It’s enough to just get through it.

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Sources & Mentions

Read the blog post →

Subscribe so you never miss an episode →

Have a topic you want me to cover? Send me a text using the link at the top of the show notes.

Love you, mean it.

—

Next episode: Building real confidence, bathing suit season aside.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
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• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

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Send Caitlin a Text!

Senior year of college. My best friend and roommate. An envelope of cash in the freezer, a lie about her father dying, expensive purses showing up, and then a "break-in" so terrifying that I got in a cop car and drove around looking for the alleged attacker.

Weeks later, I found out the truth from a newspaper headline. The entire thing was staged. No confession. No apology. From the newspaper. In front of other people.

This episode is about what forgiveness looks like when the person who hurt you won't own it, and you still have to figure out how to move forward without letting rage live in your body forever.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

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You Need This Episode If...

• You're stuck waiting for an apology that's never coming
• You're exhausted by the anger but don't know how to put it down
• You keep rehearsing what you'd say if they ever acknowledged what they did
• You're worried about the next steps after forgiveness

—

What You'll Get

The story: A friendship betrayal so bizarre it still stings, and the years of grief, rumination, and rage that followed

• What forgiveness isn't
• What forgiveness actually is
• What "forgive but don't forget" really means:
• How to know when you’ve reached a turning point

—

Your Host

Caitlin is a former teacher, current mom, someone who lost her best friend and most of her social circle to a betrayal she found out about in a newspaper, and someone who learned the real meaning of forgiveness.

—

Sources & Mentions

• Apology and Forgiveness in Reconciliation: How Words Can Mend | Beyond Intractability
• On Rupture and Repair: A Relational Approach | RIAP Psychological Services
• Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Wrongdoing | PMC
• Forgiveness in Close Relationships | Very Well Mind
• Forgiveness and Reconciliation | Stanford Encyclopedia

—

What’s Next

Planning my summer series! Starting after Memorial Day, episodes will release every other week so I can have a little summer and put some things together.

Have a topic you want me to cover? Send me a text using the link at the top of the show notes.

Love you, mean it.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Someone hurt you. You did the brave thing and called them out for it. And then they responded with denial, minimizing, blame-shifting, or the classic non-apology: "I'm sorry you're upset."

That moment can make you feel dismissed and a little unsteady—like you need to build a courtroom case just to prove your own experience.

This episode is about what to do when someone hurts you and refuses accountability. When repair isn't mutual. When they deny, deflect, or gaslight—and still expect access to you and your family.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

—

You Need This Episode If...

• You've named your hurt and been met with deflection ("That's not what I meant," "You're too sensitive," "Why are you still on about that?")
• You're stuck between wanting to repair the relationship and realizing they're not interested in owning their part
• You keep rehearsing the "perfect speech" in your head that will finally make them understand
• You need scripts for stepping away from arguments that go nowhere

—

What You'll Get

• How to spot non-accountability patterns, like common deflection lines that invalidate your feelings
• Why you can't force accountability (and what to do instead) and scripts to stop the argument and step away
• Traps to avoid, like over-explaining and performative forgiveness
• Questions to ask yourself for using boundaries as risk management (How much access should they have to you? What do you need to stop expecting from this person?)
• Practical options for when you can't fully avoid that person

—

Your Host

Caitlin is a former teacher, current mom, and someone who has learned (the hard way) that you cannot force another adult to become honest, curious, or fair on demand. This episode is about choosing your response when repair isn't mutual.

—

Sources & Mentions

• Apology and Forgiveness in Reconciliation: How Words Can Mend | Beyond Intractability
• On Rupture and Repair: A Relational Approach | RIAP Psychological Services
• Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Wrongdoing | PMC

—

The most grown-up thing you can do when someone refuses accountability is to stop arguing, stop explaining your pain to someone committed to misunderstanding it, and decide on the kind of contact that protects your peace.

Next episode: Forgiveness—how to let go without pretending something didn't happen.

Have a topic you want me to cover? Send me a text using the link at the top of the show notes.

Love you, mean it.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

"I'm sorry" means nothing if you keep doing the thing you’re “I’m sorry” for. If the same hurt keeps happening, those words become noise—and trust quietly erodes until there's not much left to repair.

This episode is about what to do when you're the one who crossed the line. What a real apology actually looks like, why so many of our go-to phrases miss the mark, and how to make repair believable through accountability and changed behavior—not just words.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

—

You Need This Episode If...

• You know you were wrong and you want to actually fix it, not just smooth it over
• Your apologies tend to include "but" or "I didn't mean it like that"—and you know that's a problem
• Someone in your life is still hurt after you apologized and you don't know what to do next
• You want to model real accountability for your kids

—

What You'll Get

• A four-part framework for a real apology
• The most common fake-apology phrases and why they dodge ownership instead of creating it
• Why intent vs. impact matters, and why "I didn't mean to" doesn't close the loop
• How shame spiraling ("I'm the worst") quietly makes an apology about you instead of them
• Scripts for apologizing to a partner, co-parent, in-law, or your kids
• Why repair takes longer than an apology, and how to respect that timeline

—

Your Host

Caitlin is a mom, podcast host, and the kind of person who gives you the real talk alongside the exact words you need. She covers the honest, complicated parts of family life—relationships, co-parenting, and doing better—with warmth, zero fluff, and practical tools you can actually use.

—

Sources & Mentions

• The Four Parts of Accountability & How To Give A Genuine Apology | Leaving Evidence
• Repair After an Argument: A Step-by-Step Apology That Works | River North Counseling
• On Rupture and Repair: A Relational Approach | RIAP Psychological Services
• Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Wrongdoing | PMC
• Family Conflict Is Normal; It’s the Repair That Matters | Greater Good Magazine
• Apology and Forgiveness in Reconciliation: How Words Can Mend | Beyond Intractability

—

Accountability is a skill, not a personality trait. You can get better at it. This episode shows you how.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Some relationships are worth fighting for. Some aren't ready to be repaired yet. And some people in your life will never give you the closure you deserve—and you need a plan for that too.

This episode is about what to do after someone wrongs you: how to name the harm clearly, how to decide whether repair is actually possible, and how to protect yourself when the other person won't meet you halfway.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

—

You Need This Episode If...

• You're stuck between swallowing your hurt and blowing up a relationship
• Someone in your life keeps minimizing what they did or calling you "too sensitive"
• You want to repair something but don't know how to start the conversation
• You're done chasing closure from someone who won't give it

—

What You'll Get

• A simple framework for naming the hurt before trying to fix it
• Three questions that help you decide between repair, distance, or repair with firm boundaries
• Scripts for asking for acknowledgment without turning it into a debate
• What to do when they deny, minimize, or flip the blame
• Why forgiveness and repair are not the same thing—and how to choose peace without pretending nothing happened

—

Your Host

Caitlin is a mom, podcast host, and the kind of person who will give you the exact words you need when you don't know what to say. She covers the real, complicated parts of family life—co-parenting, relationships, and protecting your peace—with warmth, zero fluff, and a lot of practical scripts.

—

Sources & Mentions

• Handling Political Disagreements in the Family | Psychology Today
• How Politics Are Tearing Families Apart | Psychology Today
• On Rupture and Repair: A Relational Approach | RIAP Psychological Services
• Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Wrongdoing | PMC

Other sources are listed in the blog post for this episode.

—

Whether this relationship gets repaired or not, you deserve to stop carrying the weight of someone else's unwillingness to be accountable. This episode gives you a path forward either way.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Political messiness at home hits different. This isn’t internet discourse—this is your dinner table, your co-parent, your in-laws… and your kids sitting right there.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

—

You Need This Episode If...

• Political conversations in your family escalate fast
• You and your co-parent don’t agree on what’s okay to say around the kids
• Your in-laws treat “just asking questions” like an Olympic sport
• You’re tired of your kids getting caught in grownup tension

—

What You'll Get

• A simple way to think about politics at home (hint: it’s not just politics—it’s values)
• Scripts you can actually use when things start to spiral
• Clear “house rules” for political conversations that protect your kids
• What to do when someone ignores your boundary (because they will)

—

Your Host

Hi, I’m your host, Caitlin, and I’m right there with you—figuring out how to hold boundaries at home without turning every disagreement into a full-blown situation. I love a good sentence frame, and yes… I had to rewrite this episode multiple times because it matters that much.

At the end of the day, this isn’t about winning political arguments. It’s about keeping your kids out of the emotional crossfire—and building a home that actually feels safe to live in.

Love you, mean it.

—

Sources & Mentions

• How to Handle Political Differences with Your In-Laws | Brides of Long Island
• List of Co-Parenting Boundaries | Co-Parenting Rules
• How Do I Navigate Political Differences With My Parents With A Kid Involved? | Scary Mommy
• 11 Strategies for Dealing with Parents with Different Political Views | Therapy with Julie
• List Of Co-parenting Boundaries To Set For Your Children | amicable
• Boundaries, respect keys to political discussions with family | UT Southwestern Medical Center
• How parent-child political disagreements harm relationships and individual mental health | PsyPost
• Setting Boundaries in a High-Conflict Co-Parenting Relationship | Our Family Wizard

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

The news can make you feel like you're failing at everything all at once: citizenship, parenting, marriage, friendships, and your own mental health.

We're closing out the advocacy arc by getting brutally honest about bandwidth—because the "right" way to be informed and engaged is the one you can actually sustain without melting down in the carpool line.

This is a bridge episode: where we've been, what you've learned, and how to figure out what comes next.

• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

—

You Need This Episode If...

• You've been following the civic engagement series and need to process it all
• You're not sure which lane to focus on next (civic or personal)
• You feel maxed out and need permission to scale back
• You want to know what's coming next on the show
• You need help choosing ONE thing to keep doing consistently

—

What You'll Get

A recap of what we've covered:

• Doomscrolling and nervous system overload
• Hyper-local civic engagement (school boards, library boards, mutual aid)
• Nonviolent communication for hard conversations
• Media literacy and digital citizenship for raising kids online

Self-diagnosis questions to figure out your next season:

• Are you feeling a civic pull (leadership, showing up locally) or a personal pull (partnership, co-parenting, mental load)?
• How much emotional capacity do you actually have?
• What can your kids handle right now?

What's coming next:

• Shifting focus to home, boundaries, and relationships
• Topics: co-parenting when politics don't match, protecting your mental load, setting boundaries with family, maintaining friendships across political divides

Your tiny homework: Pick ONE thing from this series to keep doing consistently

—

Your Host

Caitlin is a former middle school teacher, current mom, and someone who just walked you through a graduate-level seminar on being a grown-up. Now it's time to figure out what happens next.

—

You don't have to do all of it. You just have to do enough to feel like you're still you—and not someone else's activist project.

Next episode: Co-parenting and boundaries in this political space we're in. Should be a doozy.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Want to revisit the advocacy series? Check out all the blog posts at https://www.ckandgkpodcast.com/blog/tags/advocacy

Love you, mean it. Make good choices.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Caitlin is furiously planning the next series for the pod, so we revisit an oldie but goodie with these spring cleaning and organization hacks!

---

We share 14 spring organizing tips that scratch the spring cleaning itch without spending a fortune on new storage bins. We also get nerdy about the upcoming total solar eclipse, debate hyperfixation snacks, and tell a cautionary story that starts with cleaning a bathroom vent and ends with a bruised knee.

• cleaning vs tidying vs organizing as separate tasks
• pool noodles to keep boots upright
• stickable hooks for tools and hiding cords
• vinyl placemats as fridge shelf liners
• shoe organizers used for mugs, supplies, and more

Make good choices, Love you, mean it.
CK & GK

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.

Send Caitlin a Text!

Your hands are shaking. Your stomach drops. A parent-friend just told you that your child's kindergarten teacher is using a stern voice with your kid "all the time"—and it isn't getting better.

If you hate confrontation but also can't ignore that protective mama bear instinct, this episode is for you.

This week, I'm sharing my appearance on the Uncomfy podcast with host Julie Rose. We talk about what happened when I chose to advocate for my son anyway—and how that teacher meeting led to not one, but TWO ADHD diagnoses: his and mine.

• Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
• Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!

—

You Need This Episode If...

• You've ever had to confront a teacher (or need to and you're terrified)
• You suspect your child might be neurodivergent and don't know where to start
• You've wondered if YOU might have ADHD (especially as a woman)
• You need practical scripts for advocating without starting from accusation
• You're a mom trying to survive modern motherhood while carrying all the things

—

What You'll Get

How to advocate for your child without making it worse:

• When to contact the teacher directly vs. when to loop in support staff
• The magic phrase: "Can you help me understand?" (turns confrontation into fact-finding)
• How to separate valid teacher frustration from a harmful pattern

The path to ADHD diagnosis:

• How classroom behavior can flag neurodivergence
• What the evaluation process actually looks like
• How advocating for my son led to my own adult ADHD diagnosis at 38

ADHD in women and moms:

• Internal hyperactivity, mind racing, time blindness
• Hobby hopping, hyperfixation, high achievement paired with silent struggle
• How the label gave me language and tools (not excuses)

Survival skills for modern motherhood:

• Setting boundaries around news consumption
• Scheduling joy like it matters
• A sensory reset you can try tonight if you're overstimulated

—

Your Host

Caitlin Kindred (that's me!) is a former middle school teacher, current mom, host of "How to Be a Grownup," and someone who got her adult ADHD diagnosis at 38 after advocating for her kindergartener led to an evaluation that changed everything.

Julie Rose hosts the Uncomfy podcast, where hard conversations become useful ones.

—

Fear hits differently when it involves your child. But sometimes advocacy—even when it's scary—leads to clarity, validation, and tools you didn't know you needed.

This conversation is about conflict resolution, neurodivergence, and the unexpected ways motherhood reshapes who we are.

Want more from Uncomfy? Find them at uncomfy.podcast on Instagram or email uncomfy@byu.edu.

Love you, mean it.

Welcome to Not Quite Grownup. Let's do this.

• Subscribe to join other Not Quite Grownups here >>>
• Follow on Instagram and Threads @not_quite_grownup.
• Please, rate, review, and subscribe for more Not Quite Grownup stories.
• Love you, mean it.

Support the show

Visit https://www.notquitegrownup.com/ for more content and the latest updates. Or connect on social media @not_quite_grownup on Instagram and Threads.