Page 7

Kara and Jackie are trompin' into all the drama to kick off the start of this spooky Halloween weekend, including the downfall of Ethan Klein, the stopping of the H3H3 Podcast, and all the fallout and bad tattoos. Russell Brand's trial is currently letting us know he's exactly who we all thought we was. Jackie and Kara are gettin' ready to THROW DOWN, and now they wanna know, who do YOU think would win? Jon Lovitz has been branded a bit of a velvet lurker by Hugh Hefner's widow, Sydney Sweeney released her holiday ad ALREADY (the bastard) and it's just getting boring at this point. Then we got our 'Who's The Bitch' corner with a holiday appropriate voicemail!

Our voicemail this week comes from a listener who wants to know if they're THE BITCH when it comes to an extreme scarehouse goin' an intense route they had claimed they would NOT be going.

PLUS SO MUCH MOOOORE!!!!!

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This week on Second Helpings we're still slicker for 'Wicker', but all crushes on Noah Wiley have been CRUSHED since he's opened his mouth, Billy Corgan 'doesn't wanna upset the feminists' and proceeds to prove he's just a dumbass no one should listen to. It was the ACOTAR 6 book release party! Which lead to Jackie discovering that Netflix is doing their own version of Stanford Prison Experiment? Jackie's still in Pod Life and MJ's got thoughts about 'Animals'. Natalie took Jackie to see My Chemical Romance, Kim is dressin' up like North because trauma is the spookiest thing of all. PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOORE!!!

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This week on Page 7 Jackie and MJ are joined by Jake Young to discuss the missing WICKER DONGS from 'Wicker', Jackie channeled her inner Clarkson by chasin' down and intimidating a 21 y/o into selling her the cardboard 'Wicker' man for $15,000 (as if it's some type of autonomous BIRD) BUT SHE STILL GOT IT. Cole and Dylan Sprouse announce some surprising familial info to the world, and we're askin' the real questions, can we forgive Ethan Hawke for wronging Uma Thurman in the 2000's? Either way, him and Drew Barrymore are talkin' missed chances on her talk show. Speaking of the Hawke's, Maya is announced to be Feyre in the newest audiobook for ACOTAR, WHICH THE BOOK WAS RELEASING AT MIDNIGHT YESTERDAY!!! AMC did NOT get the 'Wicker' buckets because it was a Regal exclusive, but they release the real 3D-printable model for anyone to print their own poisonous popcorn parcel! JLo might be from the block, but she is NOT a girls girl, she's messin' with Keith Urban ~secretly~. Then we got a LIST of Really, Really, Reallllllly Embarrassing Celeb Moments, BLINDZ, and so much moooore!!

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Jackie and Kara are back and CONFESSIN' all the DARK SIDED celeb news this week, including Christina Applegate finding out she was misdiagnosed with MS, a retro suggestion from Jackie's 31 for 31, Kara finally got to see 'Primetime' and plans to catch 'You Can See Everything' before the next recording! Diddy's gettin' transferred from one low security prison to another, and solitary confinement with a pushed back release date, after being found with contraband. Now that HOLDEN'S outta the ROOM, we're talkin' Taytay and her 'girls supporting girls' mantra goin' out the window when it comes to The Charts. And then we got a NEW SEGMENT CALLED WORMTIME! And so much moooooore!!!!

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This 'Second Helpings' we got a lil bit of Tyra, lil bit of Cardi B, and a whole bucket of them red flags from 'Love Is Blind'. We got more fuel in the 'DWTS' fire with their first suspension. EVER. Proving once more that it's very important to take a walk before you make that post. MJ got to watch 'Invasion Of The Body Snatchers'! 'Love Is Blind' is truly proving it's not just men, but it is always yachts. Tyra's stompin' all over Jackie's toes with her OWN audiobook version of 'Modelland'. Cardi B brought the 'P' word to NPR, Proficiency, of course. Everybody is obsessin' over the 'Victoria's Secret Fashion Show', especially with Barbara Palvin returning to stage and Dylan Sprouse continuing to prove he's a 'wife guy'. And then we're endin' it with Jackie's thoughts on 'You Can See Everything' and 'Whalefall'! PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOREEE!!!

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This week on Page 7, Jackie and MJ are joined by Jackie 2.0 (aka Post-Freaky Jackin' Friday ' Holden) and we're gossin' 'bout Miley callin' out "clickbait headlines" when it came to her Hollywood Bowl performance, it seems like Taytay and Tree Paine are linin' the pockets of 'Love Is Blind' season 11, or else 'Taylor Time' is real. Jackie won't ruin 'You Can See Everything'! 'Dancing With The Stars' is havin' all kinds of drama, and 'Love Is Blind' still seems to have that touch for finding the worst of the worst. Then we got a LIST of things that prove again we should all know a whole lot less about each other, and BLINDZ that may gaster some flabbers, AND SO MUCH MOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!

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Jackie and Kara are BACK and the Kelly Clarkson bird saga is showin' everyone's true colors, Mia Goth filed for divorce from Shia LaBeouf 2 days after FKA Twigs NDA expired, Selma Blair is headin' to a body cam footage feed near you! Six Flags shut down their CTE creator after a recent death from a patron falling out. And HOMEWORK CHECK! It's time to talk about The Swan documentary. John and Kate's kids are finally old enough they're writing tell-alls. Wicker is GETTTIN' CLOSER! And so so so much mooooore!!!

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We're back with more SECOND HELPIN'S, and the main story may be Kelly Clarkson's unrequited quirky bird ownership, but we're talkin' 'bout the fact that apparently Jimmy Stewart's daughter has no ears as she claims Mr. Fantasy's portrayal in the upcoming biopic DOESN'T sound like an impersonation, Rosalía absolutely killed it on SNL and Shane Gillis being a toxic loser shouldn't overshadow that, but also Travis Kelce apparently liked a video of said monologue, to absolutely no one's shock. MJ got to watch Weapon's, so many spoilers ahead! Jackie got her Whalefall tickets! Kelly Ripa BANNED Mark Consuelos from dressin' her for her funeral after his questionable choices for her to wear to the ER (WHILE UNCONSCIOUS), 'The Pitt' season 3 is coming out SOOOOOON! And Tyra is tryin' to bring Modelland back, and speaking of horror, Jackie's got some recs to close it out! PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOOOORE!!!!

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every day there’s a fresh new hell to face how bout we bitch about ittttttt! Conjure your balls, gather your bitchations and get thee to YouTube A BITCHATHON IS AFOOT!
📅 Thursday October 22nd
⏰ 4pm PT / 7pm ET
📺 https://www.youtube.com/@WhosTheB
☎️ whosthebitch.com for more on how to call in live with your bitchuations!

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This week on Page 7, we're joined by Natalie Jean to discuss Kelly Clarkson going full nuclear over a $15,000 mechanical bird that wasn't for sale anyway, and Nicole Kidman winning the divorce from Keith Urban, 'cause we all just wanna feel like Nicole. Jackie's holding Natalie to task for introducin' her to 'Wonka's Golden Ticket', and a world of pure AI horrors to behold. And we're all either in the gumballs of terror or the expensive bird store! Jackie's gettin' excited for Wicker and it's 4D release (that appears to include a urine bucket), grab your sexy wicker popcorn bucket while you can! Shane Gillis reminded everyone why he was originally fired from SNL. It's the 30th anniversary for the release of Scream, so we got a list of behind the scenes factoids! Then we got some BLINDZ that'll have you takin' guesses, plus so much mooooore!!!!

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It might be the 4th time, but it's always the first time here on Page 7 Dark Sided and the news just keeps gettin' more dystopian and dark as we go! Kelly Clarkson appears to live and die by her AI waifu which causes disappointment all around. When life gives Dakota Johnson a bowl of limes, she LIES, and that's startin' to melt Jackie and Kara! Kara can't do 31 for 31, but she's all ready to talk 'bout Christa Pike! There's supposedly a celebrity assistant that's bein' used as a cosmetic surgery test dummy, and who do you think the celebrity might be?! Speakin' of plastic surgery, it's everyone's homework to watch 'The Swan: Behind the Mirror'! Then we got a rage inducing EVIL LIST of 'Celebrities Who Were Convicted Of Horrible Crimes, But Still Managed To Have Careers' and we're lobbin' BLINDZ back and forth! PLUS SO MUCH MORE!!!!

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Slap on your bib, it's time for some SECOND HELPIN'S with Jackie and MJ, and this time they're gettin' all STEAMED UP with a deeper dive into the Michael Douglas memoir 'One Helluva Ride' (including the apparent hypodermic needle threat at the 1992 Oscars!?), Jackie's got her 31 for 31 rubric to help anyone still strugglin' to figure out what to watch this season! But MJ's got their sights set on tryin' out 'Backrooms' after seeing the trailer for it, but they're always ready to watch 'Never Been Kissed' especially since Michael Vartan emerged from the woods for a reunion with Jennifer Garner! Jackie got to go to Halloween Horror Nights, but not a Nikki in sight. Jackie's excited for 'Other Mommy', AND SO MUCH MOOOOORE!!!

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This week on Page 7, we're joined by HoldKnife McNeely to discuss that new metaltoothed dog movie, Michael Douglas dropped his steamy memoir but don't you dare imply he's a sex addict! Alix Earle brags about being illiterate in a really, really weird interview that also asks her about pegging, Kelly Clarkson is making everyone's skin crawl off by joking ChatGPT is her lover, everyone's finding out that Rita Wilson has SIX STUDIO ALBUMS?!?!?! Jackie FINALLY confirms everyone's suspicions about the studio dookie smear bandit! Dakota Johnson and Anne Hathaway are chompin' at the bit for the film adaptation of the CoHo book, 'Verity'. Then we've got A LIST of 'Celebrity Prenups And Divorce Agreements With Terms So Wild, I Nearly Choked On My Bagel', and BLINDZ so secret we don't even have the answers to 2 out of the 3 yet! PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!

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Kara and Jackie are back with more DARK SIDED news as they discuss former American Idol contestant Caleb Flynn's fate, the FINAL EPISODE of 'A Killer Story' for the LAST time, 'The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City' had ski adventure, The Pioneer Woman's son is facing charges, then GRAB YOUR OOKYS, IT'S ABOUT TO GET SPOOKY WITH HALLOWEN BUZZBALLZ as we're startin' to get ready for our HALLOWEEN BITCHATHON October 22nd! Sean Penn once more proves that a broken clock is right twice, the full trailer for 'You Can See Everything' has dropped! Jeff Lous scolded Andy Cohen for his babysittin' pay, and then we have AN EeEeEeEeEeEEEEeeEeEVIL LIST of Celebrity Sex Confessions That Bought Property In My Brain And Now Live There!

And to close it out, in our 'Who's The Bitch?' corner we have an email from a listener dealin' with an unwanted bathroom bestie.

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This week on 'Second Helpings' Jackie's got somethin' weight on her after season 1, episode 4 of 'How To with John Wilson', and everyone's excited for his new collab with Mamdani. Then we're hoppin' right into the 'Primetime' discourse after Jackie went to see it again, all for that Lipnicki dong. Julia Stiles got to stay on Dancing and Jackie's now confirmed Banana Ball fan. It appears they medieval up Lily-Rose Depp's face for WERWULF after all the iPhone Face complaints with Nosferatu. Elizabeth Holmes is still terrifying. Lili Reinhart is havin' a style moment on the press tour for 'The Love Hypothesis', AND SO MUCH MORE!!!!

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This week on Page 7, we're joined by LPN's own Amber Nelson to rank celeb back tattoos after Rita Wilson debuted her OWN copycat of her son, Chet's, back tattoo! And what about poor Truman? MJ fell into an Astairehole after it was announced Margaret Qualley & Sabrina Carpenter would be joining Tom Holland in the upcoming Fred Astaire Biopic! ANNOUNCING THE WATCHALONG OF THE SERIES FINALE OF BUFFY, this coming Tuesday on the Patreon! Then it's time to talk THE OUTTA TOUCH VMAS! And we're all about to be blessed with Nicolas Cage as John Madden. Jackie's gonna wait for 'Second Helpings' to go in-depth, but she DID see 'Primetime'. Next it's a LIST tooootally not written by AI, BLINDZ a plenty, and then it's TIME FOR SOME JACKIE'S SNACKIES @ 01:04:11 and an MJ's Minute Munchies @ 01:09:46 until @ 01:14:07, PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOORE!!!!

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Kara and Jackie are BACK with more of the DARK SIDED, including the return of 'The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City' in all their TIGHT glory, and in more Mormon wives news, Taylor Frankie Paul is poppin' off on the first episode of 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives' with rumors swirling, and the multiple failed drug tests might confirm them. At least one wife has left with more hinting of their soon departure. 'A Killer Story' has everyone on the edge of their seats. Carrot Top has awoken, but the rumors that it was caused by sextortion weren't just a nightmare. Kate Beckinsale seems to be going through it, but not as much as her daughter's boyfriend (who is a human). Jackie finally dove into 'Next Gen NYC' and the Gen Z stare is there. Updates, but not really updates, on the sexual assault case against Kim Zolciak's son, KJ Biermann Jr.. A friend of Perez Hilton setup a GoFundMe for the kids and here's just hoping they're okay. Then we have an EVIL LIST of 'Celebs Who Basically Blew Up Their Lives After Doing Something Shockingly Self-Destructive!'! And finally we're bringin' some BITCHUATIONS your way with TWO VOICEMAILS FROM BITCHLINGS!

Our first voicemail comes from a listener who wants to know if they're the 'Neighborhood C Word' when it comes to their grammatical criticism of a neighbors political signs, even though they agree with the sentiments.

And our final voicemail comes from a listener who lost some business after sending a toke fueled DM to their clients very famous daughter-in-law.

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We're back with another heapin' spoonful of SECOND HELPINGS including Ed Sheeran's wormy stage appearance, and more importantly IT'S FAT BEAR WEEK, Y'ALL! Jackie got herself one of them bone vibratory pops to try ON AIR, so SUCKSUCKSUCK warnings abound. AND DANCING WITH THE "STARS" IS BACK, and do we got a rundown of the first 3hrs that dropped! Then Jackie's got the absolute opposite of a recommendation, a condemnation one could say, when it comes to Mark Wahlberg's movie "By Any Means" that appears to just be an excuse for him to use a ton of slurs and try to make boys kiss. But she does recommend the new 'Resident Evil' movie! MJ's divin' into the new Ryan Murphy show 'Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story', Jackie's highly recommending 'Furious', AND she's startin' to work on her Halloween costume because It's TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMEEE!!!!!! PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOOOOOOORE!

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This week on Page 7, Channing Tatum (MAYHAPS) has a poorly hidden finsta, but more importantly MJ was finally able to be in the same room as their long lost twin and 100 other Claymates. Then everyone's hackles are raising as the stories keep rolling out about Tom Cruise and Taytay. And no matter what Channing Tatum says now, and now matter what internet sleuths say, he's got a finsta, and he's just here for the hate. Ben Affleck has a new movie called 'Animals' comin' out that's had it's own wild ride to getting completed. Then we got a LIST of 'Super Entitled Celebs Who Thought They Were Too Famous To Be Treated The Same As “Normal” People', BLINDZ, and finally JACKIE'S SNACKIES @ 59:14 with an MJ's Minute Munchies @ 1:07:05 , and finally a Jakey's Slakey's @ 1:11:03 til 1:19:22 to wash it all down! PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOOORE!

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Jackie and Kara kick off the first episode of DARK SIDED with Real Housewives talk, Jackie talks about returning to 90 Day, unsurprisingly SLOMW drama is happening again, and then its on to Kim Zolciak's 15 year old son KJ Biermann's multiple sexual assault charges. "Death of a Pastors Wife" on Netflix has Jackie and Kara hooked, Sydney Sweeney is unfortunately back with another ad about her boobs to continue her weird baiting, SeaWorld has it's OWN Halloween Horror Night that no one asked for, then we got us A DARK LIST of Celebrities Who Faced Intense Backlash for Controversial Momeeeents, BLINDZ that it appears were skipped for a REASON, AND SO MUCH MOOOORE!

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