Prime Cuts

https://noisespace.xyz/Well, after a short but eventful 13 episodes, our time with Beast Wars Season 2 has come to an end. Time to reflect on all the crazy plot twists, new characters, iconic moments, and Rattrap innuendos this season of television provided for us. Is it better than the first season? Without a doubt! Are Silverbolt and Blackarachnia T4T? Yes! Why was Ravage Russian all the sudden? We don't know! But what we DO know is what we're covering next...but you won't know until you finish the episode!!

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https://noisespace.xyz/Somehow I don't think either of us made a 'Gay Agenda' joke during this episode. I apologize for this grave oversight. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; intra-factional drama, slipping things past S & P, t4t SilverArachnia, a full fledged return of Generation 1, Ravage's crazy voice, Megatron's pivoting skills, stacking cliffhangers like pancakes, Tarantulus' (un)surprising career, and Weird Time Shit.

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This episode is a week late because Mara's skull holes got way too full of slime for like a week. Sorry! Anyway, Izzy from The Disapparences of Lydia Fountaine joins us this week for a trio of truly iconic episodes. Silverbolt and Blackarachnia grow closer while being stalked by a Maximal science experiment gone wrong, Dinobot chooses his own fate and makes the ultimate sacrifice for the future, and Silverbolt and Rampage bond with a new damaged protoform with tragic results. Unfortunately we also get some fucked up apes, so who can say whether or not these episodes are good or bad?

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https://noisespace.xyz/Ah what a lovely day I'm having with my beloved Airazor. I sure hope there aren't any crazy alien plants that fly out of the ground and comes fucks me! This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; naming conventions, the hentai dimension, the Japanese dub stumbling directly into gay, the Vok making their dollies kiss, Megatron's plan still being a mystery, Rhinox settling into his role as the Maximal's Worf, Latex Surf Ape In Bondage, the diabolical titty twister, and warnings against the vile Gamer Chair.

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https://noisespace.xyz/Don't worry, Blackarachnia, if I had Tarantulus in my head I would ALSO be trying to kill myself. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Blackarachnia x Tarantulus No Children AMV, Quickstrike's simping tendencies, (slight) visual upgrades, the beginnings of romance, dramatic irony, Dinobot's flippy floppy loyalty, Latex Wrapped Surf Ape, and the Maximal Throuple.

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It's been a while, but we're finally heading back to the Beast Era. Boy, a lot of crazy shit happened at the end of season 1! Now we have to deal with the fallout. A bunch of guys died, Rattrap has wheels, and things have never been more slapstick. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Trans(metal)ition, this show's love of innuendo, a T-Rex on roller blades, killing the Spider Pervert in your head, genre pastiche, and the newest season of Surf Ape.

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Prime Season 2 is in the rearview, and it was quite the ride! We talk about the highs, the lows, the massive amounts of Vehicon violence (which isn't a war crime because they aren't people). This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; end of season awards, RID 2015 slander, stupid sexy Shockwave, the show just being Good, and announcements for the next season!

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You ever just sitting around docking with the fellas when you get your Omega Keys all tangled up? No? Just me. Whatever *blows up your secret base*. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; debate over Dreadwing's purpleness, mandated cringe compilation viewing, Megatron's inability to hold on to any big boy troops, MacguffinMania, comparing and contrasting a good Prime with a bad one, Starscream and Megatron's changing dynamics, explosive divorces, and fuckin' on the big Autobot symbol.

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https://noisespace.xyz/Things get WILDLY out of hand in this one. We apologize in advance. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; a return of cool fight scenes, Smokescreen's true destiny (as a key mule), Alpha Trion's strange tastes, kink meme origins, knock_out_(TFP) stuck_in_wall free_use vehicon_(TFP), Starscream finally pulling out a win, Star Trek TOS fisting, and just...a whole lot of absolute filth, frankly.

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This week the show briefly becomes obsessed with magical swords and loopholes around enchantments, and despite one of the episodes being named 'Alpha/Omega' we manage to only make a single Omegaverse joke! This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; burger crimes, Excalibur cheat codes, bandicootmaxing, Optimus becoming daddy, Megatron's creative problem solving, particle effects, magical weapons throughout fiction, Medieval fujoshis, and sword dates.

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Friend of the show Sam joins us this week to talk about his special guy Smokescreen joining the main crew just in time for some fairly gruesome body horror courtesy of our favorite war criminal Silas! This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; getting military recruiters out of schools, The White Joker, the Bumblebee-Hot Rod spectrum, backronyms, microaggressions galore, tips and tricks for being the new guy, fun with geography.

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https://noisespace.xyz/This week is all about the tough questions. Will vengeance ever right the wrongs that have been done to you? How can things ever be the same again? How do you carry grief when it threatens to strangle you? When is the right age for a teenage girl to take her first life? How many grenades does it take to deal with a swarm of goonbeetles? If Shockwave is so scary, why am I a little turned on? This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Revengeance, intra-factional bigotry, Miko's lackluster bedside manner, Shockwave getting jacked, employment finding woes, and real Gregory Berrycone moments.

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https://noisespace.xyz/So she gets to be the plane, and what, I get to fuck the plane? This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Beta Dratchet, Wheeljack in name only, rarely seen alternate modes, unethical bird surgery, Soundwave being so cool, Bulkhead's no good very bad day, how to make an elite goon, the return of Stinky Energon, soldier bonding, cliffhangers, and rare ships.

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https://noisespace.xyz/This week Transformers Prime begins its flirtation with simultaneous storylines with a series of four episodes all starting with the letter T. Is this finally the upswing in Starscream's arc? What does Vogel's twitter look like? The answers might surprise you. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; New York City, ludicrous sewer tunnels, Arcee's autism, big meaty bots slappin' metal, Starscream's dinky little scooter, and what the underground sweeper train would transform into.

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...so all those Starscream clones for sure banged before that mission, right? This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Starscream's propensity for cloning, Bulkhead's willingness to kill, Megatron's eagerness to kill Starscream specifically, Airachnid being a certified FREAK to the very end, filling your car up with ketamine, self driving warships doing 9/11, who would fuck their own clone, and looking forward to an excellent arc of episodes.

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This week we cover two episodes...technically. One of them is a clip show with an epilogue to the previous episode attached to it. Look, the budget demanded it, alright? This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Sylas' gaming setup, Nemesis Prime as an evolving concept, Steven Spielberg's Duel, surprising Twin Peaks connections, the purpose of clip shows, the Ernie Hudson appreciation hour, and some terrible boss stories.

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https://noisespace.xyz/Prime keeps the momentum rolling with two more episodes of action, intrigue, betrayal, and murder. RIP Breakdown, you may have been tough, but even you can't fight budgetary constraints. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; the late great Tony Todd, Seaspray the wrecker, Megatron being an actual menacing villain for once, Ragebaiting My Fat Breakdown Part 20 (Final), Airachnid's femdom powers, the nadir of Starscream's horrible week, and Megatron's insistence on having a weird psychosexual tension with his second in command.

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https://noisespace.xyz/Prime season 2 keeps on rolling with the excellent two part story "Operation Bumblebee". Has anyone noticed that this show is pretty good? This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Starscream's continued slide into loserdom, well written human characters, getting your kidney stolen by Clancy Brown, team ups where nobody likes each other, Starscream's snatched waist, Optimus' hands being too big for Ratchet's insides, and the flawed disability allegories of the early 2010s.

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https://noisespace.xyz/After two years of being away, we are finally returning to Jasper, Nevada. Transformers Prime season 2 kicks off with a banger of a three part premier, full of intrigue and character drama and high stakes action. You know, the stuff that didn't exist back in the 80s. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Peter Cullen's performance as Orion Pax, Soundwave's aura farming capabilities, Megatron's inexpert gaslighting techniques, Optimus' love of endangering children, Starscream being pathetic while still maintaining his menace, and how nice it is to have normal human characters again.

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As we say goodbye to the rotten year of 2025 (good riddance), we must also say goodbye to the greatest season of television ever created. G1 season 2 is an entirely unhinged, nonsensical, at times funny on purpose (but usually not) clusterfuck of a show. It is the true essence and embodiment of Reagan era toy commercial tv in all the best and worst ways. So as we dread the barbaric yearly tradition of crushing thousands of New Yorkers under the Ball, we reminisce about peak, give out some awards, and announce where this podcast's next stop is going to be.

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