Secret Sesh

Rough day at the shit kicking factory.'

Popeyes 11 Piece Tender Family Meal

11 Tenders

1 Large Side (Cajun Fries)

3 Biscuits

23.99

Fly me to the moon, get me to the Greek!

Ah man. Walked by a Mexican laundromat and spilled my seltzer. They’re all laughing at me. Jeez. I got some gummy bears, though.

Man, it's a hot one
Like seven inches from the midday sun
Well, I hear you whisper and the words melt everyone
But you stay so cool
My muñequita, my Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa
You're my reason for reason
The step in my grooveAnd if you said this life ain't good enough
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
Because you're so smooth
And it's just like the ocean under the moon
Oh, it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah
Give me your heart, make it real, or else forget about itBut I'll tell you one thing
If you would leave it'd be a crying shame
In every breath and every word
I hear your name calling me out
Out from the barrio
You hear my rhythm on your radio
You feel the turning of the world, so soft and slow
It's turning you round and roundAnd if you said this life ain't good enough
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
Because you're so smooth
Well, and it's just like the ocean under the moon
Well, it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah
Give me your heart, make it real, or else forget about itWell, and it's just like the ocean under the moon
Oh, it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah
Give me your heart, make it real, or else forget about itOr else forget about it
Or else forget about it
Oh, let's don't forget about it
Give me your heart, make it real
Let's don't forget about it (hey)
Let's don't forget about it (now, oh, now, oh)
Let's don't forget about it (now, now, now, oh)
Let's don't forget about it (hey, now, now, oh)
Let's don't forget about it (hey, hey, hey)

A block of wood can turn into just about anything. A puppet, a stool, or a wooden dildo.

As a society, we collectively forgot about Flubber way too fast. Hell of a concept.

• ​Don’t go gentle into that good night. Have sex with it. Hard.

That boy is dead. Dead dead dead.

Here comes the groom

The beef boys are in town and business isn’t just what they mean, it’s what they’re selling. Beef.

Nothing gold can stay.

You never brought it up, but I have a feeling you were the only person that listened to this podcast. A mensch in every sense.

I love you so much, my friend. Long live.

They say you can't take it with you, but what if you could it take with?

Hi, I'm Dr. Max Fine- and I am completely unaware of what the fuck I'm doing in this doctor's coat and/or office. Please return me to my wife, who is very real, and very hotl.

Graduation is around the corner. I'm going to be a real gingerbread boy now and no one can stop me. Fuck you, Martha. I haven't forgotten what you did to Spencer's sock in 3rd grade.

Nah, I don't actually know a Martha. Could you imagine?

It's cold and rainy. It's Summer. I am Steven.

Is nothing sacred anymore? Will the entertainment complex ever be satiated with what must surely be "too much shit?" Are you tired of losing sleep over the loss of your sanity and/or dignity? Well toil no more! With THERAPY GUN, you can end it all right now!

Not to be confused with theragun, the massage tool, THERAPY GUN is just a gun. Any gun will do! Heck, you might already have a THERAPY GUN at home- how about that! You've already got a free THERAPY GUN. Eat it for breakfast, bring it to bed, take it on your next family vacation. THERAPY GUN! There's never a wrong time to be strapped!

But I don't.

That doesn't mean I'm a good partner. I just don't suck and your boyfriend does. This isn't an attempt to break y'all up- I wouldn't be a better option. You can leave him if you want to, but I'm just saying that I probably won't fulfill your needs either on an emotional level. He sucks, but I'm unavailable emotionally. That being said, if you guys do breakup and you want someone to fuck around with while you're looking for the real deal, I could be down for that. And who knows, maybe we'll wind up really liking each other. I'm not ruling that out, like I can be open to the possibility of something happening between us on a committed level, but we can cross that bridge when we get there.

Anyways, I hope you wake up from your coma soon.

HAGS

Cut the crap. Your father's home and he is pissed. You're killing your father. Bad boy.

Listening to a lot of good music lately.

Man, whatever