Speaking With Confidence

Why is it that even when we know all the “right” communication strategies, we still fall apart or overreact in the conversations that matter most? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig beneath the surface of communication challenges and explore what’s really happening when we get triggered at work, at home, or in any relationship.

I’m Tim Newman, and today, I’m thrilled to bring Nima Rahmani to the show. Nima is an expert who works with high-performing individuals, couples, and families to heal relational wounds, regulate their nervous systems, and become trigger-proof in love, leadership, and all forms of connection. With a background blending neuroscience, polyvagal theory, attachment theory, and transformational coaching, Nima guides clients through deep internal shifts that create emotionally safe, co-regulated relationships.

The conversation focused on unraveling the myth that most communication problems can be solved simply by learning new skills or techniques. According to Nima, these so-called “communication issues” are usually just symptoms of deeper nervous system activation. When we experience conflict or pressure, our bodies often respond as if we’re under threat, shutting down, going on the attack, or defaulting to long-established coping mechanisms from childhood and family conditioning.

Together, we explored how real change begins by recognizing these automatic responses, getting honest with ourselves, and learning to parent our own inner child. One concept discussed was the idea of “relational rupture and repair”: it’s not enough to just avoid conflict or push through awkward moments, but instead we must learn to intentionally practice new behaviors and seek “corrective experiences” that show our nervous system it’s safe to show up authentically.

In this episode, we covered:

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Why knowing how to communicate isn’t enough when you’re emotionally triggered

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How our nervous systems can sabotage our best intentions during high-stakes conversations

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The origins of defensive, shutdown, or explosive responses (and how to trace them back to childhood experiences)

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Practical steps for building an attuned relationship with your own body and emotions

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Why “just setting boundaries” or “being authentic” can feel impossible in the moment—and what actually helps

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The process of relational reenactment and corrective experiences to create new patterns

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The role shame and a fear of failure play in reactivity, especially in family dynamics

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The intergenerational passing down of emotional habits and how we can break the cycle

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How men and women often differ in emotional expression, and the importance of supportive communities

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When to speak up versus when to let go in conflict situations

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Turning the focus from “Why does this keep happening to me?” to “Why do I keep participating in this pattern?”

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How self-abandonment shows up in moments of activation and the path toward self-integration and true confidence

Join me for an episode that goes far beyond public speaking tips to address the root of what holds us back from showing up with confidence, clarity, and connection when it truly counts.

Connect with Nima:

• Website: https://becometriggerproof.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nimarahmany/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nimarahmanyofficial
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nimarahmanyofficial
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NimaRahmanyOfficial

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Have you ever walked into your first team meeting as a new manager, only to look up a few minutes later and realize you’ve lost the room? Phones come out, eyes wander, and polite nods take the place of real engagement. Why does this “Attention Cliff” happen, and what can new leaders do to prevent it?

In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into the real reason so many new managers struggle to keep their teams engaged and most importantly, what you can do to become a leader people want to follow. Drawing both on research and my years teaching communication and leadership skills, I unpack the most common mistakes new managers make, and the simple, practical fixes that build lasting trust and genuine participation.

We’ll talk about why 60% of new managers fail within their first two years not for lack of effort, but because of three common missteps that feel normal in the moment but quietly erode your team’s trust and attention. I share stories from my own time as a college professor, including how a classroom experiment with student-created rules transformed engagement and accountability. You’ll learn why handing over just the task, instead of the task, outcome, and reason, sets your team up for confusion and flat results. Plus, I break down the cost of vague credit when projects go well, revealing why your best people check out silently if their unique contributions aren’t recognized publicly and specifically.

The conversation focused on the “Attention Cliff” , the sudden, often unnoticeable moment when engagement drops off in a meeting and how understanding human attention is crucial for any leader. One concept discussed was the importance of communicating outcomes and reasons, not just assignments, so team members understand the impact and stakes behind their work. A key theme that emerged was how ownership and specific recognition strengthen team culture and drive better results. The discussion explored practical techniques for structuring meetings that respect attention spans, such as starting with outcomes, sharing key points early, and frequently changing format to reset the room’s focus. Several points were raised, including the neuroscience behind attention, the financial cost of employee turnover triggered by lack of recognition, and actionable steps for rebuilding trust if you’ve already lost your team’s engagement.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

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The reality of the Attention Cliff and why it catches new leaders off guard

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Research on how quickly people lose focus in meetings (and what that means for your agenda)

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The three core mistakes most new managers make when handing off work and credit

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Personal stories about letting students set their own rules to unlock real accountability

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The measurable impact of specific, public recognition on retention and morale

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Neuroscience-backed steps for structuring meetings that work with (not against) natural attention patterns

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How to repair trust and re-engage a team when you’ve already lost the room

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A simple weekly challenge to practice and immediately observe the positive shift in your team

Whether you’re leading your very first meeting or looking to sharpen your approach, this episode gives you the roadmap and confidence to earn real buy-in, boost performance, and build a team that’s as invested as you are. Your voice has the power to change the world let’s make sure your team is listening.

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Why is it so hard to change someone’s mind even when you think the facts are on your side? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we go far beneath the surface of disagreements to understand what’s really happening in our minds when we argue about politics, policies, or any hot-button issue.

I’m Tim Newman, former college professor turned communication coach, and I believe the conversations we avoid are often the ones with the most potential for growth. Today, I’m joined by JonRobert Tartaglione, a world-renowned psychologist, behavioral scientist, and founder of Influence 51. JonRobert has devoted his career to decoding what truly motivates people, specializing in the science of persuasion and strategic communication. He works with clients across the globe, teaching them how our beliefs are formed, why changing them can feel so threatening, and what it actually takes to create real dialogue.

Early in our conversation, JonRobert turned my understanding upside down by sharing twin studies that reveal political orientation isn’t just about the information we’re exposed to or the arguments we hear; it may be partially rooted in our biology. Whether or not you’re born to be a liberal or conservative isn’t set in stone, but our genetic predispositions can set our “default slider,” influencing which ideology will feel most intuitive or natural to us, even before life experience and social context do their work.

But if it’s not just about nature versus nurture, what lies beneath our deeply held convictions? JonRobert walked us through the three layers where real disagreement lives: first, how we define human nature (fixed or improvable?); second, how we see the world (a dangerous, competitive place or a cooperative, egalitarian one?); and third, what we believe about right and wrong (is morality about avoiding harm, or actively helping others?). These philosophical frameworks often go unspoken, yet they’re the hidden roots of our loudest debates.

You’ll also hear:

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Why perceived polarization is often worse than the reality

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How “conversational receptiveness” can be contagious and open doors to true discussion

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The science behind why trying to “push” someone only results in pushback, not persuasion

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An astonishing study where AI chatbots accomplished what most humans struggle to do: opening conspiracy theorists to change

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The evolutionary drive to belong, and why group loyalty is so hardwired into us

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Why real dialogue means approaching conversations like you could be wrong, not just hoping the other person is

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The power and risk of questioning your identity or group beliefs, and how that keeps most people from even considering changing their minds in public

JonRobert also opens up about what in his field he’s least certain about, reminds us that humans aren’t as rational as we like to think, and gives examples from his own life about how changing your environment can fundamentally reshape your perspective.

If you want to move past surface-level debates and actually talk to (not just at) people who see the world differently, this episode is for you. Join us as we break down the science, the psychology, and the real-life practice of persuasive and receptive communication.

Connect with JonRobert:

• Website: https://www.influence51.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonrobert-tartaglione-ph-d-21b26770/

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What if the feedback you’re most proud of giving is actually doing more harm than good? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive into why so much of the feedback we give ends up bouncing right off people or worse, making things even less effective and what to do instead.

As a recovering college professor turned communication coach, I’ve seen firsthand how even the most well-intentioned feedback can sometimes make no difference at all. You know that feeling you have a tough conversation that feels like it really landed. There’s eye contact, nodding, even a grateful “thank you.” But fast forward a few weeks and you’re back in the same conversation, just more frustrated. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

There’s no guest joining me for this solo episode. Instead, I’m sharing the research-backed reason why feedback often fails, plus a simple, actionable framework—the Game Film Method—that you can use immediately with your team, your peers, or even on yourself.

During the episode, I break down why feedback can actually make performance worse more than a third of the time, based on decades of research. I’ll walk you through the two main reasons it fails (vagueness and poor aim), explain why focusing too much on the past kills motivation, and show you how sports teams have perfected a better approach in the film room.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

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Why feedback often backfires, according to research by Kluger and DeNisi

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The two habits that sabotage effective feedback: vagueness and making it personal rather than task-focused

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The problem with rehashing past mistakes and how it hurts motivation

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How the Game Film Method borrowed from sports coaching helps shift feedback from personal critique to actionable improvement

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The three-step process: watch the play, name one thing, and run it again with real-life examples

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The importance of focusing on behaviors and their immediate impact, instead of guessing motives or stacking corrections

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How to ask for “game film” feedback on yourself to accelerate your own growth

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The power of being timely and specific and why annual reviews are a missed opportunity

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Using the method not just for correction, but to reinforce what’s working, too

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a simple framework that transforms feedback from something people dread into a collaborative conversation that actually leads to change. Remember: It’s not about getting it perfect; it’s about aiming for progress with each conversation.

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What if what's holding you back from confident communication isn't a lack of skill, but an old story you've been telling yourself? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig deep into the real roots of communication anxiety and discover why confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it's something you build, one small step at a time.

As your host, Tim Newman, I’m excited to welcome executive communication coach, keynote speaker, bestselling author, and founder of Uplevel Communication, Mike Acker. Mike’s journey is both remarkable and relatable: he overcame a speech impediment as a child, had to learn to communicate in a new language when he moved to Mexico, and eventually reinvented himself as a professional speaker and coach. His story is living proof that anyone can become a confident communicator no matter where you begin.

In our conversation, Mike and I explored the mindset barriers that stop even talented speakers from reaching their goals. We discussed why being “good enough” in one context doesn’t always mean you’re ready for the next stage, and the difference between being a good speaker and being a good communicator. Mike shared powerful analogies, like how compliments about a homemade hamburger don’t mean it’s ready to be sold in a restaurant, reminding us that comfort in one arena doesn’t guarantee success in another.

Here’s a look at what we covered in this episode:

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The real difference between skill and confidence in communication

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Mike Acker’s personal journey from speech impediment to professional speaker

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Why natural talent (proclivity) and practice are both important and why practice always wins

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How being a “good speaker” in one setting doesn’t mean you’re ready for the next challenge

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The dangers of arrogance and apathy, and why caring for your audience creates energy and impact

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How past wounds like ridicule in childhood or harsh criticism can hold you back, and how to identify and address them

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The framework for starting and deepening conversations at networking events, including how to shift from feeling like an outsider to making real connections

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Why “being more interested than interesting” is the underrated secret to building community and relationships

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The impact you can have by getting involved locally and serving your community

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Mike’s value-need-action framework for persuasive communication in the workplace

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Highlights from Mike’s bestselling books, Speak with No Fear and Speak with Confidence, and practical ways to use their lessons right away

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Why action, not just knowledge leads to real transformation as a communicator

Whether you want to get better at conversations, ace your next big talk, or finally overcome the fear that’s holding you back, you’ll find both inspiration and action steps in this episode. I’m grateful to Mike Acker for sharing his story and wisdom, and I hope you’ll take one idea from this conversation and put it into practice today. Remember, your voice has the power to change the world one conversation at a time.

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Have you ever walked out of a one-on-one with your boss feeling like you just gave a verbal status report, but nothing really moved forward for you or your career? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re tackling one of the most underused and most valuable meetings in your entire week: the one-on-one with your manager. I break down why these touchpoints often get wasted, and how you can turn them into your best shot at getting the recognition, resources, and growth you deserve.

I’ve seen it happen again and again with the people I coach: You work hard, you want more responsibility or a raise, but when you get 30 minutes of your boss’s time, you end up listing what’s on track and what’s been checked off and that’s it. I used to believe the work speaks for itself, but as I’ve learned (the hard way), it simply doesn’t. If you don’t use your one-on-one to tell your side of the story, something else will fill that space.

This episode is a solo one just me, sharing the hard-won strategies that help professionals go from being invisible to being seen and valued. We’ll walk through three actionable phases to make your one-on-one the most powerful meeting on your schedule, and I’ll give you the tools to prepare, build momentum, and make your big ask with confidence.

Here’s a quick overview of what we covered:

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Why status updates belong in quick emails, not in your precious one-on-one time

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The importance of preparing for your one-on-one like it’s your meeting, not just your boss’s

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How to create and use a simple “brag file” to capture wins, progress, and impact as they happen

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The 3-line agenda that keeps your meetings focused and shows up with clarity every time

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Why the sequence of your ask really matters and how to build up to the big things you want

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The difference between asking for more resources or support, and outright asking for a raise or promotion

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How to have the money and title conversation, including the crucial “power of the pause”

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The role of timing and how to find out when pay decisions are really made

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How to separate the ask for money from the ask for scope or title and why you want to keep those threads clear

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Strategies if the answer is “no” and how that’s not always the end of the road

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What to do when following up after your meeting, and how to keep a shared record that helps your boss go to bat for you (or helps you make your case elsewhere if you ever need to)

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The weekly challenge to get started and show up like your one-on-ones are there for you because they are

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a playbook for turning your one-on-ones from routine updates into compelling opportunities for growth. Start your brag file, send your three-line agenda, and remember: you’re not just working hard, you’re making sure your hard work gets seen. Let’s make your next meeting count!

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How can adults truly connect with and empower the younger generation in an age where it feels like the tools for genuine communication are slipping away?

In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into the art of communication not just talking but really listening especially as it relates to bridging the generational gap. As someone who’s spent years on college campuses and in classrooms, I know firsthand how much adults can get caught up in teaching the “right” way to speak, lead, or motivate young people. But what if the real breakthrough comes from simply learning how to listen and making space for the voices of youth?

That’s why I’m thrilled to welcome James McLamb to the show. With over three decades of experience working with students and having interviewed more than 2,500 of them, James McLamb brings a unique perspective as a national youth empowerment strategist, author, speaker, and founder of Generation Youth. He’s dedicated his life to equipping both young people and the adults who serve them with the tools for resilience, confidence, and leadership.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

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The importance of listening versus speaking when working with young people

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James McLamb’s journey from performing to serving on stage

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How “lighthouse parenting” helps guide rather than control youth

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Why giving too many answers (instead of asking questions) can hinder growth

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The impact of helicopter, lawnmower, and snowplow parenting styles

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How to ask better questions and the power of “tell me more”

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Why timing matters in conversations with teens answers don’t always come on our schedule

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The challenge of building credibility at a young age (and how to do it through service and authenticity)

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Technology’s role in shaping (and sometimes eroding) communication and conflict resolution skills

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Concrete advice for young people whose voices aren’t being heard by adults

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Details on Generation Youth’s mission to equip adults and teens for leadership, and where to learn more

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, coach, student, or simply someone navigating generational divides, this conversation with James McLamb gives you a toolkit for listening, questioning, and leading with empathy and confidence.

Connect with James:

• Website: https://www.generation-youth.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-mclamb-74a72746/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/generation__youth/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamesmclambauthor/

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Have you ever frozen when someone asks, “So, tell me about yourself”? Or maybe you’ve rambled on, unsure what the other person really wants to hear? In today’s episode, I’m tackling one of the most common yet challenging questions you’ll face in networking events, interviews, or any conversation where you want to make an impact and how to answer it with clarity and confidence.

As your host, Tim Newman, a recovering college professor and communication coach I’m excited to break down the real reason behind this dreaded question and how to respond in a way that stands out from the crowd. There’s no guest joining me this week; I’m here to walk you through a simple, powerful formula that works in any room.

I start by admitting the traps I’ve fallen into myself coming from academia, it was natural to respond to “tell me about yourself” with a chronological timeline: degrees, positions, publications. But that’s not what people actually want or need to hear. The truth is, when someone asks about you, they’re quietly wondering, “Can you help me?” If your response is a list of dates and job titles, you’re missing the mark.

This episode is all about shifting focus from yourself to the other person’s problem, why most introductions fail, and how you can ensure yours makes a memorable impact. I dive into the three classic mistakes people make: the chronological dump, the unnecessary overshare, and the robotic scripted answer. Instead, I introduce a simple three-part answer who you are, what you do, and why it matters that’s authentic, conversational, and relevant.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

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The real question behind “tell me about yourself,” and why the usual answers don’t work

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Three common mistakes that make you sound desperate or forgettable

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The simple, proven “who you are, what you do, why it matters” introduction framework

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How to stop focusing on your own history and start solving the other person’s problem

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Concrete examples for networking, interviews, and public speaking settings

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How to sound natural, not scripted, when delivering your answer

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Why listening like you’re wrong is just as important as talking like you’re right

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The one challenge I want you to try before your next conversation

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a blueprint to answer “tell me about yourself” with confidence, make a strong impression, and turn every introduction into a real opportunity. I can’t wait for you to put this into practice because when you focus on helping others, you’ll always stand out in the very best way.

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Have you ever wondered whether your accent is holding you back from being understood or if something else is at play? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dive deep into the real reasons behind miscommunication, why clarity trumps accent, and how anyone, regardless of where they’re from, can become a more confident, impactful communicator.

As someone who has heard countless people say, “I have an accent, so people don’t take me seriously, or they can’t understand me,” I wanted to explore what’s really going on beneath the surface. Today, we’re talking about the essence of confidence and clarity and why being understood has far less to do with your accent than you think.

I’m excited to welcome Jay Poulton to the show. Jay is a communications coach with two decades of experience and a unique background, having worked with clients from over 35 countries, including leaders at Apple, Amazon, Google, and Meta. His speciality is voice: how you sound, how you’re heard, and why those two things are rarely the same. Jay’s story starts in a multicultural household in Montreal, and his journey to becoming a sought-after voice coach includes fascinating experiences working with professionals worldwide.

Together, we cover a lot of ground, including:

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Why your accent isn’t the real obstacle; clarity is

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The difference between how you sound and how you’re heard

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The mechanics of voice: resonance, posture, and breathing

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The impact of confidence and presence on communication

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Practical steps for becoming more comfortable with challenging words and phrases

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Techniques to maintain your authentic identity while improving clarity

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The influence of generational and cultural differences in communication styles

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The art of storytelling and using accent strategically to enhance authenticity

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The importance of listening and self-awareness for becoming a better communicator

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Tips for preparing for job interviews and presentations, including why you should always practice out loud

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The power of well-timed pauses and strategic pacing (with examples from Steve Jobs and Michelle Obama)

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Common communication mistakes like not matching the speed of your thoughts and words, or failing to prepare for your audience

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Why genuine connection always beats forced imitation

If you’re looking to boost your confidence, refine your voice, or simply become better at connecting regardless of your background, this episode is packed with actionable advice, entertaining stories, and tried-and-true methods from the world of elite communication coaching. And if you’ve ever dreamed of being the voice of a cartoon character, you’re in good company!

Tune in and discover how your voice, accent, and all can become your greatest strength.

Connect with Jay:

• Website: https://theaccentcoach.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jay-poulton-956b8633b/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theaccentcoach
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaytheaccentcoach/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAccentCoach-hz7er

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Have you ever wondered why most cold networking emails get ignored while just a few actually open doors to real opportunities? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we answer that question by flipping the traditional "ask first" script on its head.

I'm Tim Newman, your host and communication coach, and today we're tackling one of the biggest stumbling blocks in networking and professional relationship-building: how to connect with someone who seems out of reach without coming across as desperate or transactional. There isn’t a guest on this episode; it’s just you and me going deep on this crucial topic.

If you’ve ever sent a message to a hiring manager, recruiter, or potential mentor only to be met with silence, you’re not alone. Most outreach falls flat because it starts with a one-sided task. We’ve all been there: hoping for a referral, an introduction, or just 15 minutes on someone’s calendar. But if you’re only asking (and not giving), your message blends into a sea of requests and quickly gets deleted.

That’s why I’m sharing the Reciprocity Bridge, a three-part strategy for building authentic relationships by giving first, waiting, and then making a specific, respectful ask. This approach not only increases your odds of a response, but also establishes a foundation of trust and goodwill. It’s the missing piece that ties together the last few episodes on how to improve both your cold outreach and your follow-up skills.

In this episode, I dive into:

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Why most cold asks get deleted and how to avoid being generic or forgettable

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The importance of changing the power dynamic when reaching out

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Why the problem isn’t asking for help but how and when you ask

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How genuine reciprocity builds trust and invites people to help you (and why people can sense when it’s fake)

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The three steps of the Reciprocity Bridge: Give something real, allow a genuine time gap, and then make your specific ask

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Practical examples of what you can offer, from thoughtful praise to helpful resources or introductions

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A breakdown of why timing matters and how to avoid coming off as transactional

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Scripts and actionable tips for crafting both your initial outreach and your “ask” in a way that people want to say yes to

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What to do if you get no response, or if you’re struggling to find an authentic way to give first

You’ll also get a personal challenge: before sending your next networking message, stop and ask yourself what you can genuinely offer then let that gesture breathe before you make your ask.

If you missed the other episodes in this series, make sure to check out the Give First Formula (for cold outreach) and the Continuation Frame (for better follow-ups). Together, they create a powerful system for building real professional relationships, one step at a time.

As always, I remind you that progress, not perfection, is the goal. For more resources including a free ebook and course information visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com. Your voice truly has the power to change the world. Let’s build bridges, not just send messages.

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Have you ever felt completely prepared for a presentation, only to have your confidence evaporate the moment you step up to speak? If so, you’re not alone. In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we're tackling one of the most common and most frustrating experiences for anyone who speaks, performs, or competes in front of others: performance anxiety.

I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and today I’m joined by Dr. David Fish, a PhD in ethnomusicology, professional musician, and a leading authority on performance anxiety and mindfulness. David not only shared the stage with legendary names like Ella Fitzgerald and Little Richard, but he also had his own unforgettable “freeze” moment while performing with Sonny and Cher, a moment that sparked a lifelong quest to understand what really happens when nerves take over.

In our conversation, David explains the difference between confidence and performance anxiety, and why so many talented professionals, whether they’re in the spotlight or the boardroom, find their skills deserted at the crucial moment. We unpack the myths around just “thinking positive” or “calming down,” and dig into why these strategies often fall short when your internal bodyguard (the amygdala) decides there’s a threat and floods your system with adrenaline.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

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The difference between confidence and performance anxiety, and how even seasoned professionals can be caught off guard by nerves

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Why common advice like “calm down” or “think positive” doesn’t work against adrenaline-fueled anxiety

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The three factors that trigger performance anxiety, no matter your field or experience level

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How to accept, not fight, your nervousness and why that leads to better performance

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The importance of preparation, rituals, and controlling your environment (plus what to do when things don’t go as planned)

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The role of mindful focus (“only go straight, don’t know”) in overcoming distractions and outside judgments

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How to distinguish between excitement and anxiety, and why channeling energy the right way matters

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The idea that public speaking is a performance, and why embracing that doesn’t mean being inauthentic

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The value of bringing your core beliefs and values to the moment, especially when the stakes are high

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Practical strategies for shifting self-talk and grounding yourself before you step up to speak

If you’ve ever wondered why your nerves sometimes get the best of you, or you’re searching for practical, compassionate tools to step into the spotlight with greater confidence, this episode offers wisdom, stories, and actionable guidance you can use right away. As always, remember: you’re not broken; performance anxiety is a perfectly human response. Accept it, focus on what matters, and keep showing up with courage

Connect with David:

• Website: https://riseupeight.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidleefish/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Rise-Up-Eight/61584704705649/#
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riseupeight8
• YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@riseupeight
• Book: https://a.co/d/0cyKBDvl

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Have you ever left a conference feeling like you made genuine connections, only to watch those relationships fizzle out after sending a follow-up email? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we tackle a frustrating and surprisingly common problem: why do so many conference follow-up emails fall flat, and how can you ensure yours actually build real relationships?

Today, I’m diving deep into the art of the conference follow-up specifically, why a generic “Great meeting you!” does more harm than good, and how to transform the way you reconnect after those face-to-face moments. We’ve all been there: you’ve spent hours building rapport, swapping stories, maybe even venting about bad coffee or laughing about a keynote that went long. But when it’s time to send the follow-up, it somehow collapses into the same stale template you’ve sent to a dozen other people. The result? Radio silence.

There’s no guest in this episode, it's just me, sharing the hard-earned lessons from my own experience as a communication coach and former college professor (and yes, from plenty of my own failed networking attempts). If you missed last week’s episode on the three-sentence fix for cold emails, I highly recommend checking that out, since what we’ll talk about today builds right on top of that foundation.

Here’s what you can expect from this episode:I’ll reveal the critical mistake everyone makes treating a warm conference contact just like a cold lead. I’ll walk you through the “continuation frame,” a powerful technique that ensures your follow-up picks up where you left off rather than starting over from zero. We’ll break down why referencing your actual conversation, not just the handshake, is the difference between being remembered and being ignored. You’ll learn how to craft a three-sentence email with the right kind of opening, a thoughtful delivery of what you promised, and an exit ramp that doesn’t pressure the other person.

By the end of our discussion, you’ll know:

•

Why most follow-up emails unintentionally say “goodbye” instead of “let’s keep building”

•

The real reason people don’t reply to generic follow-ups (it’s not what you think)

•

The three essential components of a compelling conference follow-up email

•

How to reference shared moments as social capital

•

What to do if you didn’t promise anything (and why never to fake it)

•

The timing “sweet spot” for your follow-up

•

How to turn every handshake into a real relationship by proving you listened, not just networked

I’ll also challenge you to review your last follow-up email and rewrite your opening sentence, so it proves you were actually present in the original conversation. That small shift is the whole game it takes you from being a stranger to someone who’s genuinely invested.

Listen in for practical tips that will transform how you connect after conferences and remember: your voice and your follow-up has the power to change the world.

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Have you ever wondered why it seems so hard to speak up and reclaim your voice as an adult, even though we were so unfiltered and fearless as kids? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re tackling that very question and digging into those internal stories and cultural messages that shape how we show up both on stage and in our everyday lives.

This episode is especially close to my heart, as it hits at the core of why I started this podcast: to help listeners build the kind of communication skills and confidence that lead to real results, not just professionally, but personally, too. Joining me is Stephanie Peirolo, a board-certified executive coach, celebrated storyteller featured on The Moth and NPR, and author of The Saint and the Drunk: A Guide to Making the Big Decisions in Your Life.

Throughout our conversation, Stephanie gets real about the myth that “some people are just born confident.” She shares her own deep stage fright (including throwing up in green rooms before major performances!) and opens up about how purpose and intention can transform even the most anxiety-inducing moments into opportunities for profound connection and healing. We discuss her pivotal experience on The Moth stage, how storytelling can be both freeing and healing, and how adults can rediscover their ‘inner knowing’ that deep sense of what’s right for them that so many of us learned to suppress.

Stephanie and I also dive into the ways our families, cultural backgrounds, and even gender shape the stories we tell ourselves about who gets to have a voice. We talk about boundaries, why they’re for you, not other people and tackle the double standards that women often face when speaking up at work or at home. Stephanie offers powerful, practical advice on how to stop over-functioning and start setting boundaries that support your authentic self.

Other highlights from the episode include:

•

Why passion matters more than early “talent” in writing or public speaking

•

How your internal narratives about your communication skills can help or hurt you

•

Managing anxiety on stage (even if you’re an old pro)

•

The healing power of sharing your truth, even when it’s hard

•

How generational and cultural messages decide who “deserves” to be heard

•

Spotting the difference between a personal shortcoming and a systemic issue

•

The importance of context, intention, and curiosity in creating connection—at work, at home, or with a stranger in an Uber

•

Strategies for reframing your definition of success (especially in the age of social media)

•

The ancient and modern wisdom of tuning into your inner knowing, and who really deserves influence in your life

If you want practical insights for reclaiming your voice, clearing out the stories that hold you back, and learning to trust yourself again, this episode delivers. Stephanie’s wisdom, warmth, and honesty make it a must-listen, whether you’re grappling with big life decisions or just want to show up more authentically in your daily conversations.

Thanks for tuning in, as always. Don’t forget to check out the show notes for links to Stephanie’s book, her Substack, and how you can connect with her for coaching or speaking. And remember your voice has the power to change the world.

Connect with Stephanie:

• Website: https://www.speirolo.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/speirolo/
• Substack: https://speirolo.substack.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/speirolo/#
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@speirolo
• Book: https://a.co/d/04Ltuo3k

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Have you ever sent a cold email that disappeared into the ether, never to be answered and wondered what you did wrong? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle that painfully common problem head-on and reveal the tiny but powerful shift that makes your outreach stand out from the delete pile.

As your host, I'm drawing from years as a college professor and communication coach, and I start by sharing one of the most frequent messages in my own inbox: “Can I pick your brain over coffee for 15 minutes?” If you’ve ever sent that kind of request or received it you already know how uphill the battle for a reply can be. The truth is, most people have overflowing inboxes and little time to give to vague asks. But there’s good news: you don't need to send the perfect message; you just need to be different from the rest.

There’s no guest this week, it's just me, guiding you through the concrete tactics and deeper mindset shifts that change how your emails land. I dig into the invisible factors that sabotage cold messages, from desperate undertones to the all-about-me approach that turns people off. Then, I introduce my Give First Formula, a simple, three-sentence structure that transforms your message from an ask to a value-driven exchange.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

•

Why typos and awkward phrasing aren’t the real reason your cold emails get ignored

•

The downside of clichéd openers like “I love your content” and “I’m a huge fan”

•

The psychology of email overload and why you’re competing with hundreds of other requests

•

Why “pick your brain” is vague, unfair, and guaranteed to get skipped

•

How to make your message about the recipient, not you

•

The three essential sentences of the Give First Formula: a value observation, a low-friction ask, and a genuine exit ramp

•

Concrete examples of ineffective and effective cold emails

•

The biggest traps people fall into like telling a long backstory, asking for too much too soon, and following up with “just checking in”

•

How to follow up in a way that adds value rather than nagging

•

Why structure, not talent or connections, is what gets you noticed and answered

Finally, I challenge you to take one cold email you’ve been holding onto and run it through the Give First Formula to see the impact for yourself. And I tease what’s coming next week: how to follow up with someone after you finally get a response or meeting, so you stay top-of-mind without becoming a forgotten business card.

If you want your voice to stand out and your outreach to get replies, this episode is for you.

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Have you ever wondered why we spend so much time teaching kids math and science, but not how to introduce ourselves, hold a conversation, or handle rejection? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dive deep into the critical life skills that every young person needs but most are never formally taught.

I’m Tim Newman, your host and a communication coach who believes that real success comes from mastering soft skills like communication, storytelling, public speaking, and the confidence to show up authentically. Today, I’m joined by Rob Heller, founder of the BOOST Youth Alliance. Rob’s mission is to equip young people with the essential life skills that set them up for success in every area of life. He started BOOST when he couldn’t find a program that taught his son the lessons he knew were crucial so he built his own. Rob brings decades of entrepreneurial experience and a deep commitment to mentoring youth, making him the perfect guest to discuss why communication and resilience matter now more than ever.

In our conversation, we tackled the mistakes we make as parents when it comes to technology and the impact that screens and smartphones have on developing communication skills. Rob and I reminisced about how the world has changed with phones glued to our hands, it’s easier to lose out on face-to-face interactions and the benefits they bring. Rob shared how self-awareness is growing among today’s parents, but also that it’s a constant struggle to set boundaries around tech use.

We explored the difference between protecting young people and preparing them for the real world. Rob described how BOOST addresses not just people skills and character, but also building a healthy mindset giving kids practical tools to deal with setbacks, acknowledge their mistakes, and build true confidence. We also discussed why skills like accountability, resilience, and the ability to hold a simple conversation are the missing pieces in most academic programs.

During the episode, we covered:

•

The real reason communication skills are missing from most high school curricula

•

Rob’s journey building BOOST for his own family and now for countless others

•

The impact of screens and technology on developing essential life skills

•

How to set boundaries as parents (and model the right behavior ourselves)

•

Why accountability and apologizing quickly matter so much for building trust and confidence

•

The art of starting a conversation even for introverts

•

Why employers care so much more about soft skills than technical ones

•

Practical tips for greeting people, making eye contact, and remembering names

•

The science behind why connecting with others feels so good (hint: it’s the chemicals in your brain)

•

Tips for parents and educators to help young people practice these skills from an early age

•

How BOOST’s 26 core skills help kids prepare for life, not just for school

If you’ve ever wished your child or even yourself could confidently connect, communicate, and handle life’s curveballs with resilience, this episode is packed with insights and actionable advice. Rob’s work through BOOST is helping a generation get back to the basics, and we agree, these are the missing courses we all need.

To learn more about BOOST or connect with Rob, check out boostprogram.com, and don’t forget to grab his book, The Missing Course for Today’s Youth. And as always, if you want to overcome your own public speaking challenges, visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for free resources and courses.

Let’s keep building confidence one conversation at a time!

Connect with Rob:

• Website: https://boostprogram.com/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Boost_Program
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/boostkids
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/boost_program/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@boost_program
• Book: https://a.co/0gKE15oT

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Have you ever walked out of a tough conversation and found yourself replaying it in your head for hours, unable to move on? If so, you’re not alone and today’s episode is here to help you finally break that cycle.

I’m Tim Newman, your host at Speaking with Confidence, and in this episode, we’re tackling the part of communication that no one talks about what to do after the conversation ends. As a recovering college professor turned communication coach, I’ve seen time and again that the real work and the biggest challenges often come in those quiet moments after the words are done.

Let’s face it: most of us think once the hard discussion is over, we’re supposed to instantly “move on.” But our bodies and minds rarely let us off that easily. Whether you just navigated a tense moment with your boss, had to deliver bad news, or disagreed with someone you care about, that post-conversation adrenaline can keep you stuck in rumination and anxiety long after the room goes silent.

In this episode, I’m sharing a practical 4-step reset that separates people who can let things go from those who end up dragging that baggage into every future conversation. You’ll learn not just what happens in the brain and body after a tough talk but what to actually do about it.

Here’s what we covered today:

•

Why your nervous system can’t tell the difference between a tense conversation and running from a bear, and why the adrenaline surge makes it so hard to think clearly after a difficult exchange.

•

The difference between rumination (unproductive replaying) and genuine reflection, plus a simple test to help you determine which one you’re doing.

•

Step 1: Stop. Why you have to give yourself at least 20 minutes for your body to clear out stress hormones before you analyze what happened, and how movement can help you reset.

•

The importance of giving yourself grace, not just to others, and how skipping this step can keep you stuck in yesterday’s tension.

•

Step 2: The reflection test is an actionable way to spot if you’re actually learning from the experience or just spinning your wheels.

•

Step 3: Writing out the conversation like a transcript, capturing what was actually said (not just what you felt or remember), and how this builds accuracy and empathy for yourself and for others.

•

Step 4: The follow-up decision is to determine if you need to reach out and close the loop with someone, or consciously let it go and move forward, so lingering tension doesn’t fester in your life or at work.

•

Why a deliberate decision to release a conversation is the key to sleeping well and not carrying unresolved stress with you.

•

A final challenge for you: what to do next time you leave a hard conversation, so you’re not trapped by it.

No guests today, just me, sharing what I’ve learned both in the classroom and as a coach about how to navigate the aftermath of tough conversations with clarity and confidence. If you’re ready to reclaim your peace of mind, build healthier relationships, and stop letting old arguments steal your energy, this episode is for you.

Remember, progress beats perfection. Be sure to check out the free resources and course information at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com. Your voice and your ability to reset after the hard talks can change your world.

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What would you do if you were fired at 63, staring down the barrel of financial ruin with just two years before the money ran out? Today’s episode dives deep into this very question and the surprising answers that can only come when there's no plan B left.

Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence! I’m Tim Newman, and in this episode, we explore not just the journey from zero to a seven-figure portfolio, but the grit, resilience, and communication skills necessary to rewrite your story, no matter your age or starting point. This isn’t just about finances; it’s about the mental and emotional side of rebuilding when your confidence has been shattered, and the world has moved on without you.

Our guest is David Nassief, the author of The One-Page Wealth Compass, whose book became an Amazon #1 hot new release and topped charts in retirement, investing, and budgeting categories. David’s story isn’t a fairy tale it’s a gripping reality of facing a late-career layoff, family anxiety, rejection after rejection, and the massive psychological hurdles of feeling like you’re out of options. But it’s also a story of redemption, practical strategy, and finding true confidence on the other side.

In our conversation, David opens up about the emotional impact of losing his job after 18 years with the same company not just on his finances, but on his identity and his relationship with his wife. We discuss what it feels like to tell your spouse you might be broke in two years, and the quiet strength it takes to accept reassurance from someone who knows you can pull through even when you’re not so sure yourself. David shares about his lowest point in a grocery store aisle, feeling completely out of place and overwhelmed by shame and self-doubt, and how facing that moment became the catalyst for change.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

•

The emotional and psychological impact of late-career job loss

•

Talking to your spouse about financial crisis and building a support system

•

Overcoming rejection, rebuilding confidence, and why grit matters

•

The difference between making money and building lasting wealth

•

How small investment fees can quietly destroy your financial future

•

Turning past failures into powerful lessons for success

•

The transformative value of communication, public speaking, and cold calling

•

The importance of humor and authenticity in difficult times

•

Practical steps from the One-Page Wealth Compass for simplifying wealth-building

•

The urgent case for financial literacy in schools and how to think critically about financial advice

•

Letting go of shame, embracing your personal story, and finding confidence on your own terms

Whether you’re facing a career setback, trying to get your finances in order, or looking to strengthen your confidence in any area of life, this episode is packed with real talk, actionable tips, and a lot of heart. As always, thanks for listening to Speaking with Confidence. Remember, your voice, your story, and your resilience matter more than you think.

Connect with David:

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/111549991
• Website: https://onepagewealthcompass.com/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@onepagewealthcompass
• Book: https://www.amazon.com/One-Page-Wealth-Compass-Nearly-Millionaire-ebook/dp/B0G5JPX17R

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Have you ever wondered why your team keeps hitting the same roadblocks during tough conversations, even after attending communication training? In this episode, I get to the heart of why knowing what not to do isn’t enough and share the system that finally gives your team the words and tools to handle conflict before it explodes.

I’m Tim Newman, and today on Speaking with Confidence, I’m diving into what it really takes to flip those negative habits that sabotage hard conversations into positive ones that drive real collaboration. There’s no guest today, just an honest breakdown of practical tools you can start using right away.

Last week, we named the five habits that hijack difficult conversations: win at all costs, react instead of respond, only my opinion matters, never ask questions, and get even. If you missed it, definitely go back and listen, because today’s episode builds on those ideas and moves us forward.

Here’s the tough truth: knowing what’s wrong doesn’t automatically mean we know how to get it right. You can recognize bad habits all day long and still have no idea how to turn things around in the heat of the moment. That’s why today, I show you how to build the five habits that make conflict your team’s best tool rather than its biggest threat. We talk through my three-step system for making sure these new habits aren’t just words in a workbook, but living, breathing patterns your team uses every day.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through:

•

Why avoiding hard conversations doesn’t make your team more peaceful, it makes things more dangerous, as small disagreements silently snowball into major problems.

•

The first step: naming the enemy together and recognizing that negative patterns are shared challenges, not personal flaws. I show you how to help your team see conflict as a pattern they can all recognize and change, using real-life examples from your own workplace.

•

The second step: flipping it together. We dig into what the five positive RIGHT habits are: respect before rebuttal, investigate with curiosity, grace, here to understand, and think together. I show you how to map real team conflicts from “wrong” to “right,” making the fixes obvious and practical.

•

The danger of weaponizing the framework, and why progress is more important than perfection plus why making the language simple enough for anyone to explain is key.

•

The third step: anchoring these habits with a team cue a shared phrase or code word that prompts everyone to pause and reset before things spiral out of control. I explain why the cue only works if your team truly “owns” it and how modeling it as a leader is the secret to making it stick.

•

The honest reality is that even great conflict training only reduces, not eliminates, conflict and that’s not a failure, but a sign your team is learning to handle disagreements with trust and confidence.

I end by challenging you to take just one step this week whether it’s naming a wrong, mapping a real conflict to right, or introducing your team’s cue in a low-stakes setting. Remember, real progress comes from using these tools in actual conversations, not just understanding them in theory.

If you’re ready to transform the way your team handles tough conversations, this episode is for you. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for your free public speaking ebook and to register for my Formula for Public Speaking course. As always, your voice has the power to change the world. Let’s build the habits that unlock it.

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What does it really take to be heard across generational lines, and how can we bridge the communication gap between Gen Z and other generations? That’s the big question we tackle in this episode of Speaking with Confidence.

I’m Tim Newman, and today we dive into the evolving landscape of communication far beyond polished speeches and proper grammar. It’s about making people feel seen, heard, and understood. This episode features an eye-opening conversation with Raquel Borras, creator of “Rock the Boat,” founder of Rock Vision, brand strategist, podcast host, and filmmaker. Raquel is on a mission to help us stop talking about Gen Z and start listening to them, taking the bold step of traveling cross-country in an RV to connect with Gen Zers face-to-face and create her new documentary, “I Hear You, Gen Z.”

In our conversation, Raquel shares what drove her to leave her corporate job, fund her filmmaking adventure with her own savings, and the life-changing experiences that unfolded along the way. We discuss the importance of not burning bridges, as Raquel recounts her ongoing positive relationship with her former company illustrating how supportive networks are crucial, no matter where your path leads.

Raquel gives us an inside look at the journey of making “I Hear You, Gen Z,” sharing the surprises and lessons learned as she met young people across the country. What stood out most was Gen Z's reliability and willingness to show up and engage, challenging so many tired stereotypes about this generation’s work ethic and priorities. We talk about the often-overlooked impact of the pandemic on Gen Z’s communication skills and how, instead of blaming them, we need to recognize the responsibility of older generations for shaping the current social and technological environment.

In this episode, we cover:

•

Why making others feel heard is the ultimate communication skill

•

Raquel's leap from corporate to purpose-driven storytelling

•

The real-life lessons from traveling the country for “I Hear You, Gen Z”

•

Busting myths about Gen Z’s work ethic, reliability, and motivations

•

The impact of the pandemic and social shifts on Gen Z communication

•

How adults are responsible for many of the systemic challenges facing youth

•

Reverse mentoring and breaking down generational silos in the workplace

•

Evolving approaches to parenting, boundaries, and building trust

•

How technology both enables and complicates real connection

•

Finding and valuing every story: why every voice matters

•

Inspiring stories of Gen Zers making a difference and how we can all learn from them

Ultimately, if you want to build real confidence in communication at home, at work, or in society this conversation is for you. We can change the narrative, embrace empathy, and start seeing every generation, including Gen Z, as teachers, leaders, and partners in progress.

Connect with Raquel:

• Website: https://raq.vision/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/raquel-borras/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raquel.borras/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/i_hear_you_gen_z/
• I Hear You Gen Z Documentary: https://my.linkpod.site/IHearYouGenZ

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Have you ever wondered why even your best arguments leave people tuning out or avoiding you entirely? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle the hidden habits that quietly wreck our conversations often without us realizing it. If you’ve ever felt like you keep “winning” at work or in your personal life, but walking away with damaged relationships or unresolved issues, you’re not alone. Today, I’ll help you diagnose exactly what’s going wrong under the surface, so you can start making positive changes.

We often assume that because we talk a lot, we’re skilled communicators. But as I share in this episode, talking isn’t the same as communicating and somewhere along the way, we started treating conversations like competition instead of collaboration. Whether it’s the Monday morning meeting, a heated text exchange, or a hasty email you regret sending later, the patterns are the same. I’ll break down my OWN diagnostic framework, WRONG, five habits that sneak into our conversations and leave us disconnected from the very people we most want—or need to reach.

This time, it’s just me, Tim Newman, your host and a recovering college professor turned communication coach. I’m passionate about helping you build not just your public speaking skills or storytelling chops, but the soft skills that drive real results in every conversation that counts.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

•

Why “winning” every argument can actually lose you the room and sabotage trust

•

The WRONG framework: five habits that quietly wreck even our most important conversations

•

W: Why “Win at all costs” poisons your effectiveness and relationships

•

R: How “React instead of respond” turns your emotions into your worst enemy (and what biology has to do with it)

•

O: Why believing “Only my opinion matters” is confirmation bias in disguise and locks out new ideas

•

N: The power lost when you “Never ask questions” and how questions turn conversations into connection and discovery

•

G: How “Get even” turns honest disagreements into score-settling and why this is the most damaging habit of all

•

Real-world examples of these habits in action, from the workplace to your personal life

•

The science and research behind why we fall into these traps and what it costs us in productivity and trust

•

A practical weekly challenge to help you recognize and change just one of these self-sabotaging habits

If you recognize yourself in a couple (or even all) of these habits, don’t worry that’s exactly where growth begins. Next episode, I’ll share the right way to build civil, effective conversations that genuinely move things forward. For now, tune in and take the first step by naming what’s actually wrong then watch your communication start to change.

Don’t forget, you can grab your free ebook on the top 21 challenges for public speakers at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com and register for my upcoming public speaking course as well. Your voice has the power to change the world. Let's make sure you’re using it to connect, not just compete.

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