The AuDHD Boss: Neurodiversity at Work with Brett Whitmarsh

An ADHD video makes you think, “That’s me.” How do you know whether its explanation is accurate?

My journey toward a formal ADHD and autism diagnosis began with people sharing their lived experiences on social media. In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Monica Johnson, known as Dr. J, joins me to discuss how to evaluate online ADHD information while recognizing the value of those shared experiences.

We explore the “relatability trap,” common experiences presented as ADHD-specific symptoms, and why confidence and credentials don’t settle whether a claim is correct. We also discuss parasocial relationships, how creators respond to corrections, and oversold treatments, supplements, and ADHD hacks.

If online content has you considering an ADHD assessment, Dr. J offers a practical starting point: consider the care you can access and look for relevant clinical experience.

Dr. J hosts ADHD And… on The ADHD Channel for Women from Understood.org.

Explore The ADHD Channel for Women:
https://www.understood.org/en/podcasts/adhd-channel

For workplace coaching and neuroinclusive workplace or management programs:
https://audhdboss.com/

I’m Brett, the AuDHD Boss. On this channel, we talk about ADHD, AuDHD, and autism in the workplace.

Do you ever feel that wave of avoidance with your ADHD, even with the things you genuinely want to do? Or, if something doesn't have a clear direction or maybe there are too many steps or it just isn't a rewarding task -- is it hard for you to start?

I know these are some of the issues I struggle with when faced with getting started on many projects. It's known as having trouble with task initiation.

If you’re a regular listener, you might remember an episode from The ADHD Channel for Women on the feed recently. Well, today I am excited to share another! It’s from Understood.org, a nonprofit helping millions navigate neurodivergence. Their channel features three distinct shows covering relationships, neurodivergence in current news, and practical strategy from an ADHD clinical psychologist —who you’ll hear today.

The episode I’m about to play for you is about ADHD and avoidance.

Dr. Monica Johnson, also known as Dr. J, helps us identify why our executive function has so much trouble with task initiation and why our ADHD does this. This is another episode that just shows why I love Understood.org so much. Dr. J offers up very accessible explanation about the "why" behind our ADHD and then moves right into what we can do when the avoidance happens. I know for me the avoidance can hit hard and it feels like trying to run fast but I'm stuck in slow motion.

This episode is so incredibly helpful and also covers the emotional impact of how this affects us.

For more episodes, search for “THE ADHD CHANNEL FOR WOMEN” in your podcast app or click here for more:

https://lnk.to/adhdchannelforwomenFD!theaudhdboss

We’re doing something a little different today. I’m sharing an episode from The ADHD Channel for Women.

It’s from Understood.org, a nonprofit helping millions navigate neurodivergence. Their channel features three distinct shows covering relationships, neurodivergence in current news, and practical strategy from an ADHD clinical psychologist —who you’ll hear today. The episode I’m about to play for you is called, “ADHD and living up to potential.”

Dr. Monica Johnson, also known as Dr. J, helps us with that voice in many of our heads that often makes us feel those elements of shame for not being perfect because of our ADHD.

Here is the episode from the ADHD Channel for Women called: ADHD and living up to potential.

You can learn more about Understood.org and the ADHD Channel for Women here:

https://lnk.to/adhdchannelforwomenFD!theaudhdboss

If you've been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan—or think one might be coming—you may be wondering whether it's actually a chance to improve or whether your company has already decided it's time for you to go.

In this episode, I talk with Vicki Yang, a fractional people leader with more than 20 years of HR experience, about what Performance Improvement Plans, or PiPs, are supposed to do, what they may mean for your job, and whether it's possible to come back from one.

We talk about what can make a PiP more recoverable, warning signs that performance concerns may be escalating, what to know when you're asked to sign a PiP, and what to consider once you've been placed on one.

We also dig into the experience of autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD employees—including vague expectations, unclear feedback, documentation, workplace accommodations, and the communication breakdowns that can happen long before someone reaches a PIP.

Vicki also shares what managers can do differently, including giving clearer feedback, explaining what expectations actually look like, checking for understanding, and addressing problems before they reach the point of a formal performance plan.

This conversation is for general informational purposes and is not legal advice. Employment laws vary by location, and workplace policies and individual circumstances differ.

For more information about Vicki:

https://www.victoriayang.com/

Can you take a special interest or hyperfixation and turn it into a job?

I never intended to become a vice president. It happened accidentally.

When I look back at my career—from video production and broadcast journalism to social media, podcasting, publishing, leadership, and the work I do now—I can see how one interest kept leading to another.

In this episode, I talk about how I used transferable skills to move from one kind of work into another, and how breaking down the things you do around a hobby, special interest, or hyperfixation can help you identify skills you may be able to use on a résumé, in a cover letter, or during an interview.

I also talk about how discovering that I'm autistic and ADHD helped me understand my own career differently: the hyperfixations, the monotropism, and why I needed work that interested me and gave me energy.

Because when you break an interest down into the individual things you're actually doing, you may find skills you can take with you into other kinds of work.

Skills are skills.

Check out the Drains and Sparks AuDHD Workplace Workbook

My AuDHD masked persona helped me succeed at work. The problem is, the more successful that persona became, the more I leaned into it—and now I’m trying to figure out how to let it go.

In this episode, I talk about autistic and ADHD masking, the different personas I’ve created throughout my life, and how one of the strongest became my workplace persona.

I look back at how I learned the language of corporate leadership, why that persona worked so well for me, what happened when my work and personal personas collided, and why it can be so hard for me to turn the work version of myself off.

I also talk about growing up and adopting different personas long before I understood masking, my connection to Jim Carrey and The Mask, the difficulty of work social events, burnout, unmasking, and the question I keep coming back to:

Did the same masking that helped me succeed also hold me back?

At the same time, I still need masking. For me, it can be protective. So this isn’t about simply taking the mask off. It’s about trying to figure out the balance between safety, success, and getting closer to my authentic voice.

If you’re autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD and have ever felt like you became a different version of yourself at work, I’d love to know if this feels familiar.

You can also find my AuDHD Workplace Workbook, coaching, speaking, consulting, and more at:

AuDHDBoss.com

There's a certain tension that comes up. A wall. An invisible force field around my body, my brain, my mind, that I can't move past no matter how much I want to.

That's what masking actually feels like for me, not as a concept, but as a physical sensation. In this episode I break down what masking actually is, where it started for me, and what it took to finally start recognizing it happening in real time.

Drawing on Dr. Megan Anna Neff's work in the Autistic Burnout Workbook, I walk through the different forms masking takes, scripting, mimicking, assimilation, camouflage, code-switching, excessive helpfulness, and how each one shows up for me specifically. I get into where this started as a kid, why I built a different persona for every room I walked into, and how switching between those personas has come to feel like regenerating into a new person every time, the way the Doctor does in Doctor Who.

Then I get into the part I most wanted to talk about, what masking actually feels like in my body. The tension. The wall. What I can only describe as shields going up. And why recognizing that sensation, even before I could name it, changed how I handle it.

I also talk through what an actual unmasking plan looks like for me, why I can only fully unmask alone, and why recovery isn't about getting back to who you were before, it's about getting somewhere healthier than that ever was.

Resources mentioned on play and AuDHD Burnout:

What does Play look/feel like for an adult from AtsedeScarseth AuDHD Therapist:https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894691077950751https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894019267857695The direct line from masking to AuDHD burnouthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loz1viIIB9U

Wondering how to manage you needs at work as a late-diagnosed AuDhd, ADHD or Autistic adult? Check out my Drains and Sparks Workplace Workbook.

A video version of this episode, with chapters, is also up on YouTube if you'd rather watch. I'm starting a series on Substack going deeper into unmasking, link in the show notes if you want to follow along.

I offer workplace talks and coaching for organizations and professionals navigating autism, ADHD, and AuDHD at work, especially for managers and HR teams. Reach out through my website if that's something you need.

A viewer sent in a question that a lot of neurodivergent professionals are sitting with right now. Their boss doesn't believe ADHD is real, and they suspect that boss might be neurodivergent themselves. Dr. Bowen Marshall's answer reframes the whole situation: the resistance isn't about you. It's about them.

You've done the hardest part of unmasking, which is asking for help. And then the person with power over your career looked at you and said no. That moment doesn't just sting. It confirms every reason you had for keeping the mask on in the first place.

Brett and Bowen get into why that happens, what it says about the manager, and what you can actually do about it. They also cover the history of management culture and what it continues to demand from neurodivergent employees, why neurodivergent professionals sometimes become each other's biggest obstacles at work, deliberative processing and the professional cost of not having a quick answer ready in a meeting, recovery versus reconstitution at the end of a workday and why those are not the same thing, and practical scripts and strategies for getting your needs met without disclosing your diagnosis.

Topics covered in this episode:
*Why a neurodivergent boss may be your greatest skeptic
*Internalized neurophobia and what it looks like in leadership
*Masking until burnout and asking for help
*Why neurodivergents sometimes take advantage of other neurodivergents at work
*Recovery versus reconstitution after a workday
*Deliberative processing and the cost of not having a quick answer
*Fawning and people pleasing under a resistant manager
*The history of management culture and compliance
*Authenticity versus consistency at work
*Workplace scripts to buy processing time in meetings
*The test balloon approach to figuring out who is safe to talk to at work
*When to go to HR after a negative disclosure response

Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHDers and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.

Check out Bowen's Substack
Subscribe to Bowen's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DrBoTyler

Drains and Sparks: An AuDHD Workplace Workbook: https://payhip.com/AuDHDBoss

Book a coaching call or speaking engagement: audhdBoss.com

Processing a layoff is different when you're autistic or have ADHD. Brett Whitmarsh, host of The AuDHD Boss, shares what he learned in the ten months after his own layoff from a twelve-year corporate role, and what actually helped him grieve, rest, and figure out what came next.

In this episode, Brett covers:

• Why a layoff isn't a reflection of your performance, even when it feels personal
• How to let yourself grieve a job loss without rushing past it
• Why taking time before making major decisions matters, especially with a severance package
• How to turn your job history into a list of transferable skills
• Why applying through AI-driven hiring platforms alone often isn't enough, and how to use personal connections instead
• Where to find real support without paying for resources that should be free

Brett also references the exercise from his Drains & Sparks: An AuDHD Workplace Workbook, and shares the personal decision-making mistake he made in the weeks right after his own layoff.

Isabel Fields, ESG Manager at Hearst, helped build the company's first Neurodiversity at Hearst hiring program from the ground up. In six months, Hearst had a fully running program. Years later, it's still growing, and it's shaped how the company trains, hires, and retains Autistic and ADHD talent at every level.

We talk about how the program came together, why executive buy-in came easier than expected, and the distinction Isabel draws between accommodations and adjustments, the small, low-cost changes a manager can make without a formal process. We also get into personal brand for neurodivergent employees and managers, practical ways to manage ADHD and Autistic burnout, and how to work through rejection sensitivity with a manager or trusted colleague.

Isabel Fields is an ESG Manager at Hearst with expertise in sustainability strategy, ESG reporting, and inclusive workplace initiatives. She serves on Understood's Women's Council and is a Women inPower fellow at the 92NY. Prior to Hearst, she was part of Oracle's Social Impact team and has held roles at Nike, the United Nations Foundation, and Iron Mountain.

Mentioned in this episode: my Drains & Sparks AuDHD Workplace Workbook.

If you or your organization want to work on neuroinclusion, train your managers, or explore individual coaching, reach out using the contact info in the show notes.

Self-employed with ADHD or autism? For a lot of people, it's not a lifestyle choice, it's the only option left when a corporate job stops working.

Brett talks with Liora, founder of Colorful Futures, a neurodivergent, queer-run HR and career consulting business. Liora spent years as a recruiter before starting the business, and this conversation gets into what actually triggers the leap into self-employment, how a late ADHD or autism diagnosis can be part of that decision, and what that choice looks like once you get past the LinkedIn version of it: the guilt, the uneven pace, and the fact that the whole business model doesn't have to be figured out before starting.

Liora and their colleague Caitlin Fisher are hosting the Entrepreneurial Horizon Workshop on Thursday, July 16 at 6:30 PM Eastern. It's a 90-minute session for anyone with an idea they haven't figured out how to build yet. $18 to attend, replay included.

Register here: https://colorfulfutures.thrivecart.com/entrepreneurial-horizon/

More on Colorful Futures: https://colorfulfutures.us/about

This conversation is also available as a video on the AuDHD Boss YouTube channel.

Interested in working together? Brett offers coaching for neurodivergent professionals and consulting for organizations working to become more neuro-inclusive, including speaking to employee resource groups. Reach out: Brett@AuDHDboss.com or at AuDHDboss.com

Have you ever gotten the feedback that you're unlikeable at work? For a lot of neurodivergent professionals, that label arrives while you're already burning significant cognitive energy just to show up and function.

In this episode, Dr. Bowen Marshall and Brett dig into why masking reads as coldness, where the term masking actually comes from historically, and what warm cues are and how they work in practice at work.

The conversation covers the frontal lobe vs. temporal parietal junction difference in how autistic and non-autistic brains process social interaction, what happens when masking and a novel cognitive task compete for the same processor, and the 20/60/20 framework for understanding workplace perception. Brett shares the good morning story, a real workplace example that shows how a single missed warm cue can shape how a colleague is perceived for years.

But the episode goes further than workplace tactics. Bowen recently published "Yes, Even Masking Is Caused by Racism" on Substack, and that work runs through a significant part of this conversation, from the eugenics movement and the history of ABA therapy to professional dress codes as compliance culture. Brett and Bowen also talk openly about the overlap between queer identity and neurodivergence and why for many people those two things have never been separate.

Topics covered in this episode:
Why the mask drops when cognitive load increases
The frontal lobe vs. temporal parietal junction difference in social processing
Spiky cognitive profiles and building teams around them
The warmth and competence framework and the 20/60/20 breakdown
Micro moments of liking and primacy and recency effects at work
The history of ABA therapy and its connection to white supremacy culture
Queer masking as survival and the overlap between queer and neurodivergent identity
Why masking past a certain point disconnects you from your own power

Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHDers and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.

Read Bowen's article: Yes, Even Masking Is Caused by Racism
https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshall/p-202380192

Follow Dr. Bowen Marshall:
https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshall

Find all Brett and Bowen's conversations on the AuDHD Boss YouTube playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9QX1pbJKEk&list=PLRBohTCbOqwA

I was more nervous to tell people at work I was autistic than I was coming out bisexual. That's not a punchline. It tells you something about how similar these two journeys actually are.

In this episode Brett shares how coming out as bisexual in his 30s and getting a late AuDHD diagnosis a few years later followed the same emotional architecture — recontextualizing your entire life, grieving the person you thought you were, and slowly learning to stop masking.

What made both take so long? Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings. Growing up in a high control religion made those feelings feel dangerous. And high masking kept both identities hidden — even from himself.

If you came out late, got diagnosed late, or both I'd love to hear your story.

Topics covered: neuroqueer identity, high masking, Alexithymia, coming out in your 30s, late AuDHD diagnosis, workplace safety, the grief of late discovery, and why unmasking and coming out feel like the same thing.

Find Brett's Drains & Sparks workbook and coaching at payhip.com/audhdboss.

In this episode:

• Why high masking kept Brett in the closet — and later kept his AuDHD diagnosis hidden too
• How Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings
• Why workplace safety was the trigger that finally let him unmask
• The grief that comes with both late coming out and late diagnosis — and where they differ
• Why "people who aren't don't spend all that time wondering if they are" applies to both sexuality and neurotype

Resources mentioned:

• Drains & Sparks Workbook: payhip.com/audhdboss

"Don't be too good at your job." That line from Dr. Bowen Marshall hit nearly a million views on Instagram. So we came back to respond to your comments.

For neurodivergent professionals, overperforming isn't just exhausting. It sets a trap — a higher bar every annual review, burnout that builds without a clear cause, and a workplace that stops taking your limitations seriously because you look too capable to need support.

In this episode Brett and Dr. Bowen Marshall go through the comments from that viral moment and get into what's actually driving it.

They cover the PIE model and why 70% of your career has nothing to do with your actual work. The difference between a mentor and a sponsor — and why neurodivergent professionals almost always get one but not the other. Why over-performing makes raises harder, not easier. What to do when your boss says nothing is coming off your plate. And the disability catch-22: when you're too competent, your limitations stop being believed.

About Dr. Bowen Tyler Marshall:

Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development.

As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHders and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.

Connect with Bowen here:

Substack: https://drbotyler.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbotyler/?hl=enTiktok: https://tiktok.com/@DrbotylerYouTube: https://youtube.com/@www.youtube.com/ ⁨@DrBoTyler⁩

About Brett | AuDHD BossI'm Brett — AuDHD, late diagnosed, and a former corporate leader with 12 years of leadership training and experience. I offer 1:1 coaching and neuro-inclusive workplace training for individuals and organizations.******************************RESOURCES & LINKS🛒 Drains & Sparks — AuDHD Workplace Workbook for Neurodivergent ProfessionalsBundle (workbook + 45-min coaching video) → https://payhip.com/audhdbossWorkbook only → https://payhip.com/audhdbossWORK WITH BRETT1:1 coaching for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD professionals navigating corporate environmentsCorporate training, manager workshops, and organizational licensing for neuro-inclusive teams👉 audhdboss.com | Brett@audhdboss.com

A new national survey from NEXT for AUTISM puts hard data on what autistic and AuDHD employees have been describing for years — and the findings challenge most of what workplaces assume about disclosure, accommodations, and what actually drives retention.

I sat down with Candi Weaver-Dowds, Senior Manager of Strategic Initiatives at NEXT for AUTISM and the lead on this research, and Abigayle Jayroe, SVP of Strategic Operations, to walk through the data and what employers need to do differently.

We cover:

• Why 79% of autistic employees describe masking and emotional exhaustion as a workplace challenge — and what that costs

• The 73% disclosure rate, and why most went to their direct manager rather than HR

• Why nearly 7 in 10 autistic employees are building their own support systems outside of work

• What the data shows about autistic women carrying a disproportionate burden

• Why AuDHD employees — 40% of the sample — may be the largest and most strained subgroup in the autistic workforce

About the report Inside the Autistic Workforce: A National Survey of Autistic Employees on Their Workplace Experience — and What Employers Need to Know.

Completed in 2026, this mixed-methods study was developed and led by NEXT for AUTISM, in partnership with Sago, a global research firm, and funded by the Anita Bhatia Foundation for Tomorrow. Read the full report: https://nextforautism.org/inside-the-autistic-workplace/

Chapters

00:00 What the data finally proves

02:12 The strengths-based research approach

03:00 High job satisfaction, hidden cost

04:22 Masking is a second job running in the background 06:06 Why the manager relationship matters most

07:29 What 73% disclosure really means

10:09 The accommodations gap 11:34 Building support outside of work

12:46 The disproportionate burden on autistic women

14:13 Late diagnosis and the workplace

15:21 AuDHD: two operating systems competing

17:47 What workplaces need to do differently

20:27 The neurodivergent manager effect

20:47 Autistic feedback as operational intelligence

23:37 The report, the grants program, and how to take action

About AuDHD Boss

I'm Brett Whitmarsh — late-diagnosed AuDHD, former corporate people manager, and host of AuDHD Boss. This show is about what work actually looks like for neurodivergent professionals, and what managers, HR teams, and leaders need to understand to stop losing this talent.

Free Accommodations Prep Guide: https://payhip.com/b/j0rvk

Work with me or book a corporate training: https://audhdboss.com/

Most workplace advice was built for neurotypical brains. Dr. Ludmila Praslova's The Canary Code was built for the rest of us.

Brett sits down with Dr. Praslova — organizational psychologist, Vanguard University professor, 2025 Thinkers50 Talent Award winner, and the first person to publish in Harvard Business Review from an autistic perspective. Her book reframes the coal-mine metaphor through what we now understand about neurodivergent brains. The canary isn't the victim of the story. The canary is the employee whose biology lets them sense problems first. Neurodivergent people — those of us with autism, ADHD, AuDHD, dyslexia, Tourette's, and other ways of processing the world — are playing that role in modern workplaces. We notice broken workflows, toxic culture, and ethical drift before anyone else does. Most organizations treat the signal as the problem.

This conversation covers what to do instead — the six principles of The Canary Code, the Platinum Rule, the derailers that quietly kill neurodiversity work, and how to navigate a workplace that isn't ready to change yet.

Get the book: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9798890571601

Connect with Dr. Praslova: thecanarycode.com

Chapters

(00:00) Introduction

(02:38) The Real History of Canaries in Coal Mines

(04:24) Why Neurodivergent Brains Sense Toxicity First

(05:19) "Sensitive Does Not Mean Broken"

(06:37) The Six Principles of The Canary Code

(09:53) The Platinum Rule and Holistic Belonging

(13:19) Why Common Sense Isn't Common Practice

(16:48) Derailers That Kill Neurodiversity Work

(19:00) Navigating Managers Without Burning Out

(25:09) Why We Need More Neurodivergent Leaders

(25:56) Where to Find The Canary Code

If you're an HR or L&D leader interested in bringing this work into your organization, I offer corporate training and consulting. Email brett@audhdboss.com.

Getting a diagnosis as an adult can feel like an answer. Then you're sitting with that information, years into a career, with no real roadmap for what comes next. You don't know what you need. You don't know how to ask for it. And you're not sure whether telling your employer is going to help you or hurt you.

Brett continues his conversation with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD — licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build the systems, workflows, and strategies that let them thrive at work and in life.

This episode gets into what late diagnosis actually looks like from a therapeutic perspective — why so many late-diagnosed adults don't yet know what they need even after getting a diagnosis, and how burnout accumulates when you've spent years running your nervous system without the right supports in place.

They also cover the disclosure decision directly. Not a simple yes or no, but a real framework for thinking through who benefits, what the risks are, and how to read your specific workplace before making a call that has actual career consequences.

Dr. Marshall closes with something worth sitting with: rejection is protection.

This is Part 2 of a two-part conversation. Part 1 covers the AuDHD leadership trap, unspoken corporate rules, and the real difference between masking and code switching. Linked below.

Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall:

Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotylerhttps://www.YouTube.com/ @DrBoTylerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/Drbotyler

Making friends as a neurodivergent adult is harder than anyone tells you — and there are real, brain-based reasons why. This isn't a willpower problem or a personality flaw. It's a wiring difference that nobody ever explained to most of us.

Caroline Maguire is a social-emotional learning expert, TEDx speaker, and neurodivergent person herself — ADHD, dyslexia, and learning disabilities. Her new book, Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults, is the practical, science-backed guide most of us needed years ago.

This is Part 1 of our conversation — the personal side. We get into why friendship feels so unintuitive for ND brains, the mindsets that quietly sabotage your connections before you realize it, what flooding and anxious overcorrection actually look like in practice, and how to stop masking your way into rooms that will never be right for you.

Part 2 — workplace friendships, trust, and navigating ND social dynamics on the job — drops next week.

What we cover:

• Why the "friendship should be easy" myth hits differently when you're late-diagnosed
• How your past experiences are secretly running your social life right now
• Finding what actually fills your connection cup — and stopping what doesn't
• Masking vs. authentic connection, and why masking costs you the friendships you want
• Flooding, triggers, and the "writing a story" spiral after a social event
• Anxious overcorrection — why we send 45 texts explaining the thing
• People pleasing, rushing in, and the fortress mindset

📖 Get Caroline's book: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781538773086z

Getting promoted because you're good at your job is the easy part. Most AuDHD professionals find out quickly that the role they were promoted into requires skills nobody taught them and nobody mentioned were part of the deal.

Brett sits down with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build systems, workflows, and leadership approaches that work for their brains at work and in life.

The conversation starts where a lot of AuDHD careers start to get complicated: outperforming everyone around you, getting promoted because of it, and then discovering that managing people is a completely different job than doing the work. Dr. Marshall introduces a Harvard Business Review leadership framework that describes this pattern specifically. From there they get into the unwritten rules most corporate environments run on, how warmth and competence function as the two factors that shape how you're perceived at work, and what happens when you're four steps ahead of the room and keep getting dismissed for it.

The conversation closes on a distinction worth understanding clearly: the difference between masking and code switching. Most people treat these as the same thing. They aren't, and the difference matters when you're trying to figure out where your energy is actually going.

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. Part 2 covers late diagnosis, burnout, and the decision of whether to disclose your diagnosis at work.

Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall:

Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotylerYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrBoTylerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/Drbotyler

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

02:33 Technical skill vs. leadership skill

03:55 The Pacesetter Leadership Style

06:35 From expert to teacher

07:48 "Don't be too good at your job"

09:00 Unspoken corporate rules

11:59 Warmth and competence

12:42 The Cassandra Effect

15:03 Calibrating what you share at work

16:13 Masking vs. code switching

19:36 Companies and neurodivergent brains

20:56 Burnout and entrepreneurship

ABOUT AUDHD BOSS:AuDHD Boss is Brett Whitmarsh's channel covering ADHD and Autism in the workplace. Brett has over 12 years of leadership experience and a formal diagnosis of ADHD and Autism.Substack: https://substack.com/@brettwhitmarshWebsite: https://audhdboss.com

Most neurodivergent employees don't know what accommodations they can ask for — and without that, the process stalls before it starts.

In this episode, I walk through the 10 most commonly requested AuDHD workplace accommodations according to Job Accommodation Network data, with the exact functional limitation language and scripting you can adapt for your own request. Each accommodation includes the framing the JAN recommends, plus real-world context from someone who spent over 12 years in corporate leadership — including as a VP — before their own late ADHD and autism diagnosis.

We cover quiet workspaces, noise-canceling headphones, remote work, written follow-up after verbal instructions, flexible scheduling, structured check-ins, structured breaks, advance notice of changes, assistive technology, and neurodiversity coaching through an EAP. For every one, you'll hear why it works and exactly how to say it.

Free resource: The AuDHD Accommodations Prep Guide — Know What to Ask For and How to Say It is linked below. payhip.com/b/j0rvk