The Connection Code with Rachel and Jeana

Remember when having a friend group felt effortless? There was always someone to grab dinner with, a group chat full of plans, and maybe even a standing softball game or BYOB night. So why does finding—and keeping—that kind of group feel so much harder as an adult?

In this episode of The Connection Code, Rachel and Jeana explore the magic and the messiness of friend groups: what brings people together, what pulls them apart, and what it takes to keep showing up for one another as life changes.

They talk about the challenges of distance, busy schedules and group chemistry; the role of the “social chair” who keeps everyone connected; and why shared activities can make friendship easier. Jeana also shares what it’s been like to build new connections after moving to Michigan, while Rachel reflects on the friend groups she’s loved—and the heartbreak of watching one fall apart.

Plus, they get into the ideal size for a gathering, the dynamics of couple friendships, and a conversation about money, friendship and whether two friends need to sit together on a flight.

Whether you’re missing an old group, hoping to find a new one, or wondering how to keep the people you love close, this episode is for you.

Media:

• What Is the Ideal Size of a Get-Together? — the evidence brief drawing on the Canadian Social Connection Survey.
• Expecting Together — the prenatal education and community program we share in show and tell.
• Eventually Ticketing — our season sponsor - use code CONNECT10
• The Instagram post where Adam Grant talks about friendship group size here

What’s the worst that could happen? For Rob Katz and Kevin Boehm, a four-hour conversation over coffee turned that question into the beginning of Boka Restaurant Group.

This week, Rachel and Jeana welcome restaurateur Rob Katz for his first podcast interview—and a candid, funny conversation about taking chances, building trust, and making people feel seen. From arriving in Chicago with $1,200 to discovering hospitality during an unexpected bartending shift, Rob shares how relationships shaped his path and why a lasting business partnership starts with complementary strengths.

We talk about why the customer isn’t always right, how Rob maintains close friendships without social media, and the unexpected joy of finding a new crew later in life. Plus: raising thoughtful, hardworking kids, asking questions even when you feel inexperienced, and a few memorable encounters with very famous restaurant guests.

Before the interview, Rachel and Jeana reflect on the risks that changed their own lives. Afterward, Jeana brings The Five Star Weekend to show-and-tell, sparking a conversation about girls’ trips, blending friend groups, and remembering who you’re there to support.

Media:

• Rob Katz’s official bio
• Boka Restaurant Group
• Gingie — the restaurant Rob specifically invites listeners to visit.

• The Five Star Weekend on Peacock
• The Five-Star Weekend by Elin Hilderbrand — the book behind the adaptation.

A diploma doesn’t come with instructions for making friends, navigating workplace expectations, or walking into a room full of strangers. So where do we learn those things?

This week, Rachel and Jeana welcome Heather Redisch, creator of Adulting 101 Masterclass, for a conversation about building confidence and connection through the everyday experiences that stretch us. Heather shares what she’s learning from coaching Gen Z, why managers should say the unwritten rules out loud, and how parents can help their kids build independence without smoothing away every challenge.

We talk about giving yourself time to settle into a new city or job, why one meaningful connection makes a networking event worthwhile, and how small, uncomfortable moments become opportunities to grow. Plus, Rachel and Jeana reflect on advice they’d give their younger selves—and share why ordinary errands are better with friends and putting our phones away can help us be more present.

Whether you’re starting your adult life, raising someone who is, or navigating a transition of your own, this episode is a reminder that you don’t have to have everything figured out to take the next step.

Media mentioned in this episode:

• Adulting 101 Masterclass
• Heather's Instagram: @adulting101_masterclass
• Heather's Adulting 101 Masterclass podcast
• the book Anxious Generation
• Priya Parker's new book, The Art of Fighting
• Everything is better together - The American Time Use Survey
• The University of Chicago's Train Study
• Read Phoebe Bridgers' phone-free event policy here

What’s the difference between collecting contacts and building real relationships?

Award-winning communications executive—and lifelong super-connector—Jon Harris joins us to share what more than three decades of bringing people together has taught him about curiosity, generosity and the relationships that remain long after jobs and titles change.

Jon opens up about the difficult childhood that shaped his commitment to helping others, why he believes the best networkers give without keeping score and what he has learned about asking for help during a professional transition of his own. He also introduces us to the Truffle Club, the trusted community of communications leaders he created during the pandemic, and reminds us why we should never let someone’s title stop us from saying hello.

Plus, Jeana and Rachel debate the increasingly popular wedding-day Irish goodbye and reflect on Dolly Parton’s legacy of generosity, joy and making the world a little brighter.

This episode is sponsored by Eventually. Visit eventuallyticketing.com/the-connection-code and use code CONNECT10 for 10% off your first year.

Media:

• Jon Harris: LinkedIn and Instagram @jonjayharris

• Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library: Learn about the book-gifting program
• Coyote vs. Acme: Official movie site and trailer
• Dare to Serve by Cheryl Bachelder here
• SocialWorks: Chance the Rapper’s Chicago nonprofit

What does it mean to love a place deeply and know when it’s time to leave?

New York Times bestselling author and Pulitzer Prize finalist Xochitl Gonzalez joins Jeana and Rachel for an expansive conversation about the places that make us, the people who remember our earlier selves, and the courage it takes to enter a new chapter.

Xochitl reflects on Brooklyn as both a hometown and a living archive. She also talks about writing Last Night in Brooklyn as one final love letter to the place that shaped her. She shares what decades-long friendships have taught her about grace, why closeness doesn’t always require constant contact, and how pre-digital friendship allowed people to become part of a community without feeling watched.

She also opens up about beginning her writing career in her 40s after years as a luxury wedding planner, the way class can narrow our sense of what’s possible, and why we should periodically reconsider our own “aperture of opportunity.” Plus, Xochitl talks manifestation, intergenerational mentorship, the connections she still hopes to make, and learning to trust that the road we started on isn’t necessarily the one we have to stay on.

Before the interview, Jeana and Rachel share moments when an improbable future felt inevitable. And in Show & Tell, they consider children’s autonomy online and whether we should ask permission before sharing photos of the people we love.

Media in this episode:

• Xochitl Gonzalez’s website
• Last Night in Brooklyn
• Olga Dies Dreaming
• Anita de Monte Laughs Last
• Need Blind: A Memoir of Class and Climbing in America
• Xochitl’s Substack
• Xochitl on Instagram

• Billy Joel: And So It Goes— the documentary that led Xochitl to a remarkable new connection.
• “Robby Hoffman Will Always Feel Poor, No Matter How Rich She Gets”— the New York Times interview Rachel references.

• Eventually Ticketing — use code CONNECT10 for 10% off the first year.

People-pleasing can look like kindness—but is it actually bringing us closer to one another?

In this episode, Rachel and Jeana examine how people-pleasing shows up at work, in friendships, in romantic relationships and even in hospitality. Inspired by Adam Grant’s writing on the subject, they explore the fear of disappointing others, why saying no can feel so loaded and how trying to earn someone’s approval can create an “authenticity gap” in the very relationships we’re hoping to strengthen.

They also discuss rejection as data, the difference between caring for someone and managing their feelings, and why clear communication may be one of the kindest relationship tools we have. Plus: a simple daily journaling practice, an invitation dilemma involving a Mother’s Day brunch and the question we can ask whenever we feel ourselves slipping into people-pleasing mode: Is this actually bringing me closer to this person—or am I simply trying to avoid discomfort?

Media mentioned in this episode:

• “The Truth About People Pleasing” by Adam Grant — the newsletter that inspired the conversation and includes the Kristen Bell example.
• "I Got Rejected 101 Times” by Emily Winter — the essay Jeana references about intentionally becoming more comfortable with rejection.
• “I Got Uninvited From Mother’s Day Brunch Because I’m Not a Mom” from Kramer & Jess — the call-in segment discussed during Show & Tell.
• Eventually — listeners can use code CONNECT10 for 10% off their first year.

• The Likability Trap by Alicia Menendez
• Suzy Welch’s Becoming You

What if the goal of a disagreement wasn’t to win, but to make the next conversation possible?

Rachel and Jeana talk with Harvard professor Julia Minson, author of How to Disagree Better, about what happens when we assume we already understand the other person. Julia shares a late-night disagreement with her daughter that went sideways, why curiosity needs to be spoken aloud, and a simple “curiosity sandwich” for expressing your view while staying open to someone else’s.

They also explore why personal stories can build trust where facts alone may fall short, and how asking a follow-up question shows someone you’re listening. Whether the disagreement is with a child, a friend, or a colleague, this episode offers ways to stay connected through it.

This season of The Connection Code is sponsored by Eventually. Visit ⁠eventuallyticketing.com/the-connection-code⁠ and use code CONNECT10 for 10% off your first year.

Other content to dig into:

• Read Julia's book ⁠How to Disagree Better⁠
• Dig into Julia's ⁠workshops and research⁠.
• ⁠The CBS News story about the four-year-old who brought his neighborhood together⁠—Rachel’s show-and-tell.

What happens when kids put down their phones and have the freedom to simply be kids?

Rachel and Jeana sit down with Tommy Hoffman, executive director of Herzl Camp, to explore why summer camp remains one of the rare places where young people can practice the art of conversation, navigate conflict, develop independence, and form meaningful friendships through repeated, real-life experiences.

Tommy shares how returning to camp after a 30-year career helped him find his “A+” calling—and what he has learned from watching hundreds of campers grow, connect, try new things, and become more confident in who they are. Together, they discuss camp as a sanctuary for childhood, the difference between witnessing connection through a screen and experiencing it for yourself, and the lessons adults can borrow from camp to build richer relationships of their own.

Plus, Rachel and Jeana tackle one of the least glamorous—but most important—parts of adult friendship: Who is responsible for making the plans? They talk about the invisible labor of being the group planner, rotating responsibility, creating standing dates, and why we could all use more low-pressure “barefoot plans.”

Media within:

• Herzl Camp
• The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
• Eventually Ticketing— with code CONNECT10 for 10% off the first year
• Cut article about the AI-driven summer camp here
• This Closure Instagram video discussing the weight of being the friend who makes plans!

We’re back for Season 3—and after 50 episodes of talking about friendship, connection and the relationships that make life better, we’ve learned a few things.

In this season opener, Rachel and Jeana look back at the conversations from Season 2 that have stayed with them, changed their behavior and even sparked new friendships in real life. They talk about why friendship can feel harder in adulthood, the invisible work of being the person who always makes the plans, the vulnerability of feeling left out, and why chemistry alone isn’t enough to turn someone into a close friend.

They revisit lessons from guests including Danielle Bayard Jackson on why friendship requires effort, Leslie John on the power—and limits—of vulnerability, Sara Haines on curiosity as a tool for connection, Laura Sanchez Greenberg on building a personal board of directors, Suzy Welch on the freedom to disagree, and more.

Plus: the unexpected connections that continued after the microphones turned off, why adults might secretly be craving friendship camp, the beautiful story of Japan’s “wind phone,” and one very small-world dinner party moment that proves you really never know where a cold email might lead.

Season 3 is here. Let’s get connected.

In this episode:

• Why friendship doesn’t have to feel effortless to be meaningful
• The emotional sting of a friendship misunderstanding
• What 50 episodes have taught us about vulnerability and curiosity
• Why adults need more unstructured time together
• How to stop defaulting to “What do you do?”
• The Season 2 conversations Rachel and Jeana are still thinking about
• What happens when podcast connections become real-life friendships
• The case for friendship camp

Mentioned in this episode: Danielle Bayard Jackson, Leslie John, Sara Haines, Laura Sanchez Greenberg, Suzy Welch, Morgan Radford, Dr. Carly Thompson, Shabnam Mogharabi, Lilliana Vazquez, Lily Engelbret and Sarah Spain.

This episode is sponsored by Eventually, event ticketing and registration that lives directly on your website without per-ticket fees. Visit eventuallyticketing.com/theconnectioncode and use code CONNECT10 for 10% off your first year.

What happens when you stop waiting to feel ready?

This week, we're joined by Peloton instructor, author, and all-around force of nature Kirsten Ferguson for one of our favorite conversations of the season.

Kirsten shares the winding path that led her from the NFL to Peloton—including heartbreak, infertility, divorce, reinvention, and learning to embrace a dream she never saw coming. Along the way, she opens up about public speaking anxiety, imposter syndrome, manifestation, motherhood, and why some of the biggest opportunities in life begin with saying "yes" before you feel qualified.

We also talk about:

• Why confidence is something you build—not something you're born with.
• How movement can become an act of self-love instead of self-punishment.
• The surprising story behind Kirsten's Peloton audition.
• Setting boundaries that protect your peace.
• Why your uniqueness is your greatest strength.
• The children's book she wrote with her daughters to help young girls grow up believing exactly that.

Whether you're standing at the beginning of a new chapter, wrestling with fear, or simply looking for a reminder that you're capable of more than you think, this conversation will leave you feeling a little braver.

In this episode, we mention:

• Kirsten Ferguson's new children's book, From A to Z, This Is Me: An Empowering Alphabet for Young Girls Pre-order here
• Peloton's Call Yourself a Runner program
• Kirsten's Intention Setting Sunday classes

And as always, we close with our Connection Code questions—including Kirsten's dream connection (hello, Michelle Obama), the friendship advice she'd give her younger self, and why the smallest circles often hold the deepest relationships.

What happens when your dream job ends?

For fashion expert, media personality, and entrepreneur Lilliana Vazquez, it became the beginning of something even bigger.

In this conversation, Rachel sits down with Lilliana to explore the connections that have shaped her remarkable career—from cold-calling a television station and becoming the first Latina host of E! News to reinventing herself as one of today's most trusted style creators.

But this episode isn't really about fashion.

It's about curiosity. Persistence. Learning to stop chasing external validation. And building authentic relationships instead of transactional networks.

Together, they discuss:

• Why curiosity is one of the most underrated career skills.
• How meaningful networking starts with genuine conversation—not titles.
• What it took to rebuild her identity after leaving legacy television.
• Why women should stop apologizing for being ambitious and persistent.
• The mindset shift from scarcity to abundance.
• Why your greatest advantage is becoming more of yourself—not more like everyone else.

Plus, Rachel and Jeana reflect on carrying each other through different seasons of work, share their latest Show & Tell picks—from Mahjong to All the Cool Girls Get Fired—and explore why the best connections often begin with simply asking better questions.

Whether you're navigating a career transition, growing your confidence, or simply trying to build deeper relationships, this conversation is full of practical wisdom and refreshing honesty.

Rachel and Jeana welcome back their very first reconnection guest: Mo News founder and journalist Mosh Oinounou.

Since his first appearance on The Connection Code, Mosh's world has grown in every direction. Mo News has expanded, he's preparing to welcome his second child, and he's spending more time thinking about what it means to stay connected—not just to the headlines, but to the people and moments that matter most.

Together, they explore the surprising relationship between trust and connection, why Americans are trusting institutions less than ever before, and how loneliness, isolation, and declining civic engagement may all be part of the same story.

Mosh shares what fatherhood has taught him about leadership, the challenge of balancing entrepreneurship with presence, and why a conversation between his two-year-old daughter and a 96-year-old stranger became one of his favorite moments of the year.

Plus:

• Why millennials struggle to unplug from work
• The pressure of building a business in a 24/7 news cycle
• How admitting mistakes can actually build trust
• The rise of parasocial relationships and creator-led media
• What Mosh knows about himself today that he didn't know a year ago

This conversation is about news, but it's also about family, friendship, self-awareness, and the moments we're tempted to miss when we're staring at our phones.

Links:

• Mo News
• Mo News Instagram

Books:

• Nowhere for Very Long
• Yesteryear
• One Golden Summer
• Mad Mabel
• Revealing

This week, it's just Rachel and Jeana.

No guest. No expert. Just two friends asking each other the friendship and connection questions they've always wanted to explore.

Why do some friendships feel effortless while others require more work? How do you handle jealousy when a friend gets something you want? What do you do when judgment sneaks into a relationship? And how many friendships do we actually need to feel connected?

Along the way, Rachel and Jeana discuss:

• Why maintaining your network is a life skill no one teaches
• The surprising difference between jealousy and judgment
• How to stop comparing your path to someone else's
• Why not every friendship needs to be a best friendship
• The categories of friends we all need (fun friends, deep-talk friends, emergency friends, and more)
• How to identify your "people"
• Why taking the call matters more than you think
• The role friendship plays in building a meaningful life

Plus: Jeana shares a major milestone for Petite Acres, and Rachel reflects on the overwhelming response to Lily's episode about autism and friendship.

Whether you're thinking about your closest relationships or wondering who you should text back right now, this conversation is an invitation to take stock of the people who matter most.

Links and resources:

• Travel + Leisure feature on Petite Acres
• Petite Acres: Petite Acres
• Listen to our episode with Laura Sanchez Greenberg
• Listen to our episode with Lily Engelbret on autism and friendship

Friendship isn't hard because you're doing it wrong. It's hard because adulthood changes everything. This week, Rachel and Jeana unpack why friendships drift, why they break, and what actually keeps them alive.

Together, they explore the realities of friendship drift, life stage changes, geographic distance, busy schedules, and the small misunderstandings that can quietly erode even meaningful relationships. They share personal stories about friendships that changed over time, the challenges of conflict and communication, and the surprising role that proximity plays in who stays in our lives.

But this isn't just a conversation about why friendships struggle. It's also about what helps them survive. From recurring rituals and honest conversations to flexibility, generosity, and simply continuing to show up, Rachel and Jeana unpack the habits that keep friendships strong through changing seasons.

If you've ever wondered why it's harder to make plans, harder to stay close, or why someone who once felt like family slowly drifted away, this episode is for you.

Because friendship isn't effortless, but it is worth the effort.

This episode of The Connection Code is one of our most personal and eye-opening yet. Rachel and Jeana sit down with Rachel’s 12-year-old niece, Lily Engelbret, to talk about what it’s been like to learn she’s autistic. Lily shares how that has shaped the way she experiences friendship, school, masking, and connection.

With incredible honesty, humor, and wisdom beyond her years, Lily shares what autism means to her, why she prefers saying “I’m autistic” over “I have autism,” and how masking can make school feel exhausting. She also opens up about sensory overload, friendship, special interests (including SNL and Marcelo Hernandez), and the ways autism can feel both challenging and like a superpower.

The conversation explores:

• what masking actually feels like
• why autism can look different in every person
• the emotional toll of trying to “fit in”
• how adults can better support autistic kids
• why asking “What would help right now?” matters more than “What’s wrong?”
• how connection changes when someone truly understands your experience

It’s a moving, funny, deeply human conversation about being understood ... and creating space for people to show up as themselves.

Sara Haines spends her days connecting with millions of viewers on The View, but in this episode of The Connection Code, she joins us for a much more personal conversation about friendship, vulnerability, homesickness, motherhood, and the people who make us feel truly seen.

We talk about:

• why curiosity matters more than networking
• the emotional power of female friendships
• what Sara has learned from interviewing people for a living
• the “I don’t know who needs to hear this” Instagram videos that made Rachel feel like Sara is the internet’s therapist
• how becoming a parent changes the way you understand your own parents
• why Sara believes the people beside you matter just as much as the people above you
• and the surprisingly emotional reason she still cries saying goodbye to her parents

This episode is funny, unexpectedly emotional, and full of the kinds of conversations that remind you you’re not alone.

This week on The Connection Code, Jeana and Rachel are diving into the friendship stories, trends, and hot takes taking over the internet right now.

From the rise of “doorbell friends” and apps designed to match you with new friends, to whether we should stop doing catch-up dinners entirely, this episode is a real-time conversation about how connection is changing — and what we may be gaining (or losing) along the way.

We also talk about:

• why our daily word count is dropping
• the importance of talking to strangers
• novelty vs. consistency in adult friendships
• the hidden magic of spontaneous plans
• why friendship algorithms may narrow our worldview
• the social dynamics of plus-ones at curated dinners
• and the surprisingly emotional case for neighborhood friendships

It’s part cultural analysis, part friendship therapy, and fully a “grab bag” episode in the best possible way.

Links to all articles, posts, and references discussed are included in the show notes.

Articles and posts discussed:

• The Wall Street Journal's "We’re All Talking to Each Other Less Than We Did a Decade Ago"
• The case against friendship catch ups from @loganury
• From The Walrus "I Was Lonely and Let an App Pick My New Friends. Here’s How It Went"
• From Popsugar, "Why "Doorbell Friends" May Be the Most Important Relationship You Have"
• From The New York Time, "Public Offering," which asks the question, "How often are you talking to strangers?"
• From Sunday Scaries, a view from the friend who wishes you wouldn't invite a +1 to their curated dinner.

What if just four minutes a day could change the way you make decisions, navigate relationships, and understand yourself?

In this episode, we talk with Laura L. Rubin about the transformative power of journaling ... not as a “nice-to-have,” but as a tool for clarity, confidence, and connection.

From processing conflict to making life’s biggest decisions, Laura shares how putting pen to paper helps quiet the noise and bring you back to what’s true.

We explore:

• How journaling helps you move from reactivity to clarity
• Why self-connection is the foundation of all meaningful relationships
• The simple 4x4x4 method to make journaling stick
• And the mindset shift that can change how you show up in your life

This conversation might just inspire you to pick up a pen—and finally listen to yourself.

What if oversharing isn’t something to fix, but something to use?

This week on The Connection Code, we’re joined by Leslie John. She's a behavioral scientist, Harvard Business School professor, and author of Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing

Together, we unpack one of the biggest myths about connection: that saying “too much” is a social mistake. Leslie explains why what we call oversharing is often just … sharing and why it’s one of the most powerful tools we have to build trust, deepen relationships, and move from acquaintance to real friendship.

We talk about:

• The science behind self-disclosure and why it literally activates the brain’s pleasure centers
• The “overshare hangover” (and why it’s usually misleading)
• How to go from small talk to meaningful connection without making it weird
• What crying at work actually communicates (and how to handle it)
• The difference between TMI (too much information) and TLI (too little information)
• Why the biggest regrets in life often come from what we didn’t say

Plus, we share our own stories of oversharing gone right (and wrong), and what it really looks like to build connection in real time.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking “did I say too much?” this episode might change how you see it forever.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Leslie John's Website: https://www.proflesliejohn.com
• Arthur Aron’s “36 Questions That Lead to Love”
• Leslie's book, Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing

What happens when you take 16 strangers, sit them down at one table, and design every moment for connection?

This week on The Connection Code, we sit down with Shreena Amin and Chef Nicolai Mlodinow, the founders of Class Act Dining—a Chicago-based, 16-seat communal dining experience built to bring people together through food, storytelling, and intentional design.

What started as a scrappy, post-pandemic dinner party in an apartment has evolved into a full sensory experience. Today, Class act engineers connection with cocktail hour, a shared table, and a nightcap.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why connection doesn’t just happen, it’s created
• What a dinner table can teach us about belonging
• The surprising ways strangers become friends (even skeptics and introverts)
• How storytelling, space, and even menu design shape human interaction
• And the deeply personal “why” behind building a business centered on connection

From childhood memories of gathering around food to the vulnerability of not always feeling like you belong, this episode goes far beyond dining—it’s about what we’re all craving: to feel seen, included, and part of something.

Because sometimes, the shortest path to connection… is a seat at the table.