The Embodied Jewish Woman with Rena Reiser

What does it mean to create safety in your business, and what happens when we get it wrong?

In this episode of the Embodied Business series, Rabbi Reiser and I sit down to unpack one of the most misunderstood dynamics in service-based business: the tension between needing to close sales while striving to provide safety for potential clients.

We break down what "safety" means from a nervous system perspective, and the difference between urgency that's honest and urgency that's manufactured. We also get into something that doesn't get talked about enough: how much of the coercive energy in online marketing is actually the business owner's own unprocessed anxiety being pushed onto the potential client.

Toward the end of the episode, we'll bring in the piece that holds it all together: bitachon as a lived, embodied experience essential in our businesses.

To explore what it looks like to step out of the this marketing cycle and run our businesses from a place of genuine safety, listen to the full episode.

A Companion Read

Seth Godin has been saying for years what this episode is about: stop trying to coerce people, find the smallest viable audience, serve them, and trust that the work is enough. His book, This Is Marketing, is the clearest version of this argument I've seen, and demonstrates what it means to show the right people what's possible for them, and letting them decide. Highly recommended.

Amazon link

This week, my husband Rabbi Yonasan Reiser and I talked about something I get asked about fairly often: how to choose a somatic training program.

My answer might surprise you.

We're taking a model of learning that's designed for cognitive content and applying it to body-based work. The model is information-heavy and lecture-based, and I think that's a problem for what we have here.

If you're learning a somatic modality, at least 70% of your time in training should be experiential. Learning this modality doesn't work by watching or listening to lectures. To be effective, we need to actually practice it in all three roles: as a practitioner, as a client, and as an observer.

The reason is simple: if you don't have the lived experience of what you're guiding your client through, you can't guide them.

In this week's episode, I also talk about why the nervous system needs a little context before jumping into practice, and why ongoing practice after training is what separates the practitioners who can actually use this work effectively from those who can't.

And then I tell a story I don't share often. When I was looking for a focusing practitioner for myself, I worked with several people who claimed to do focusing, and I was appalled. What they were doing caused re-traumatization. They were good people trying their best, but they didn't have the depth of lived experience that this work requires.

This kind of training needs to be lived. Join the conversation and let me know what you think.

If this episode resonated with you, I recommend The Power of Focusing by Ann Weiser Cornell. Cornell studied directly with Eugene Gendlin, the originator of Focusing, and this is probably the most practical guide to Focusing that exists. It's not theoretical; instead, it walks you through how to actually do it.

This maps directly onto everything we talked about today: the difference between understanding something conceptually and having the lived experience of it. This book won't give you the lived experience that only comes from doing the work with another person, of course, but it's the closest thing to a hands-on guide you'll find in print. Order a copy here. This is an affiliate link which doesn't cost you anything extra and helps support my work.

https://www.amazon.com/Power-Focusing-Practical-Emotional-Self-Healing/dp/157224044X?tag=towardsahealt-20

When someone comes to you with a request or a demand, there are two things you can do: support or acquiesce.

Supporting means both people exist. You're here, they're here, and it's a real relationship.

Acquiescing means you stop existing, like a balloon where all the air goes out of one side to inflate the other.

In this episode, we talk about what it actually looks like in a business context to stay present while serving your clients. We get into the nervous system piece: why fawning is a behavior and not a state, and why it doesn't actually regulate you. We talk about hishtadlus inside Menuchas HaNefesh. And we get practical: filters, recordings, scheduling, and how to use your needs and your clients' needs as the compass for every business decision.

If you've ever bent yourself into a pretzel trying to accommodate a client, and then felt resentful or burned out, like you're serving everyone but yourself, then this one's for you.

If this episode resonated with you, I recommend Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. This is the book where fawning as a concept was developed, originating in Pete Walker's work with complex trauma. The way he describes it maps directly onto everything we talked about today: giving yourself up in order to feel safe, stopping existing for the sake of the other person, and the nervous system cost of living that way over time. It's not a light read, but it's not overly clinical, either. Walker writes from both a professional and a personal place, and that comes through. Order a copy here . This is an affiliate link which doesn't cost you anything extra and helps support my work.

What is therapy actually for? This week, we got into one of the questions I think about most, and it led us somewhere really unexpected.

We started with the idea of "the edge," that place in Focusing between what we already know about ourselves and what we don't yet know. That's where real change happens. Not in the rehashing, not in the advice-giving, not in mapping everything we've already mapped, but in the unknown territory that only opens up when we slow down enough to get there.

From there we talked about why self-help books, while genuinely valuable, can only take us so far, and why knowing something and actually integrating it are two completely different things. The Sifsei Chaim has something beautiful to say about this: the avodah isn't the knowing, it's the bringing-to-the-heart. Because the longest distance is to our hearts, and our hearts need constant reminder.

We also got into what focusing sessions actually look like from the inside, from the "edge extravaganza" days to the days you just don't want to go there at all, and why a person cannot take themselves out of jail, and why that's not something to be ashamed of.

Plus the Super Mario metaphor that I'm pretty sure will stick with you. Join us.

If this episode resonated with you, I recommend Focusing by Eugene Gendlin. This is the foundational text: the book that introduced the concept of the edge, the felt sense, and what it means to bring something from information into the body. Everything we talked about today lives in this book. If you're a practitioner who wants to understand what you're actually helping your clients do when you slow things down, or if you're someone who's been in therapy for years and wondering why knowing things isn't moving you forward, this is where to go next. Order a copy here. This is an affiliate link which doesn't cost you anything extra and helps support my work. Focusing: Gendlin, Eugene T.: 9780553278330: Amazon.com: Books

Is your voice betraying your nervous system? Because there's a good chance it is, and it's worth paying attention to.

This week's episode is part of the ongoing business series, and we got into one of the most honest signals our bodies give us: voice. Not whether you sound polished or professional. Where your voice is actually sitting when you present. Whether it's up in your throat or whether it's dropped into your body. Whether it has that ebb and flow (prosody) or whether it's flat or stuck.

Here's what we covered:

How fight-or-flight literally raises your vocal pitch, and what that's communicating to potential clients before a single word lands. The difference between regulated excitement and dysregulated high-energy, and why only one of them builds something sustainable. How mirror neurons mean your audience isn't just hearing your content — they're sensing your nervous system state. What it actually costs you to present from dysregulation: cortisol, adrenaline, and the difference between regulated tired and depleted. The concept of faulty neuroception, and why something healing can feel totally overwhelming when your system isn't ready for it yet. And, most importantly, why all nervous system states are good.

If this episode resonated with you, I recommend Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana. This is the book that goes deepest on everything we were talking about — the three states, prosody, neuroception, what regulation actually feels like from the inside. Deb Dana is one of the clearest writers on Polyvagal Theory out there, and this particular book is accessible even if you don't have a clinical background. If you want to understand why your voice does what it does, why certain things feel threatening even when they're safe, or why you keep attracting a certain kind of client energy, this is where to go next. Order a copy here. This is an affiliate link which doesn't cost you anything extra and helps support my work.

In this episode, I sit down with my husband, Rabbi Yonasan Reiser, to explore four personality elements—fire, air, water, and earth—focusing on the complexity of Earth types: deep thinkers and feelers who often hold onto experiences long after others have moved on .

I explain why Focusing is uniquely effective for Earth types. Unlike rigid modalities, Focusing is client-led; when a therapist misses the mark, the Earth type's deep internal attunement allows them to immediately identify the mismatch and correct it, creating a powerful sense of being understood .

We conclude by discussing the "felt shift," what happens in the nervous system when words finally match our pre-verbal sense, and the Earth identity paradox, where non-Earth types often claim the label while many Earth types struggle to recognize themselves .

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If this episode resonated with you, I recommend Get Along With Everyone: Especially Those You Find Most Challenging by Rabbi Shimon Gruen. This is the book I referenced when talking about the four element types — it's the framework that shaped how I think about fire, air, water, and earth, and why certain people seem so different from everyone around them. If you're a practitioner and you're starting to see your clients through this lens, or if you recognized yourself as an Earth and want to understand that more deeply, this is where to go next. Order a copy here — this is an affiliate link which doesn't cost you anything extra and helps support my work.

https://www.amazon.com/Get-Along-Everyone-Especially-Challenging/dp/1981221999?tag=towardsahealt-20

Running your own business was supposed to feel like freedom. So why does it sometimes feel like the loneliest, most triggering relationship in your life?

In this episode, I pull back the curtain on what actually happens in the nervous system of a self-employed woman, all the unprocessed parts that get stirred up the moment you put yourself out there, ask to get paid, or try to be seen. I unpack why connection isn't a "nice extra" but a basic regulatory need, why the masculine blueprint for building a business quietly burns women out, and why even the most "successful-looking" women eventually hit a wall that no pros-and-cons list can solve.

This isn't a business strategy episode. It's a permission slip to listen to what's actually happening underneath the structures, the systems, and the 30-day plans, and to build something that can actually hold you.

Many practitioners are taught that the key to therapeutic change is helping clients drop into their bodies to access a "felt sense." But what do you do when a client simply can't feel what is happening inside?

If you've ever felt frustrated by standard approaches, or watched a client struggle to follow instructions that just don't land, you aren't alone. Following the "six steps" is often not enough for those who are disconnected, flooded, or operating from a place of chronic dysregulation .

In this episode, we move away from the "all-or-nothing" expectation of immediate embodiment.

Instead, we explore a more practical, incremental framework for helping clients safely build the capacity to go deeper. By using the Experiencing Scale as a roadmap, we can meet clients exactly where they are, before even mentioning the word "body," to help them bridge the gap between their stories and their internal experience .

We've all been there: guiding a client through a protocol only to feel like we're still not getting anywhere, or maybe finding ourselves stuck in our own patterns despite "doing all the work." In this week's podcast, Rabbi Reiser sits down with Rena Reiser to explore why our reliance on rigid, systematized therapy models, whether cognitive or somatic, can sometimes bypass the organic "felt sense" where true transformation lives . This isn't just about refining a clinical technique for those in the chair; it's about rediscovering a way to access our own internal wisdom, allowing us to show up more fully, both for ourselves and the people we support .

This episode is a deep dive into the "30-second shift": a precise neurological moment where the logical left brain and the emotional right brain finally integrate, creating a level of clarity that standard protocols often miss . We discuss how to move beyond merely "thinking" or "breathing" through a problem and instead learn to lean into that "unknown something" to foster a genuine, system-wide settlement .

Whether you're looking to break through your own barriers or help your clients unlock the change they've been longing for, join us to discover how to integrate these vital, moment-to-moment shifts into your life and your practice.

We're pulling back the curtain on how subconscious patterns like fawning, people-pleasing, and body judgment are actually desperate attempts to find safety when our inner world feels unsafe. By shifting out of our analytical minds and learning to truly listen to our body's somatic cues, we can finally stop the unfortunate dance of chronic dysregulation. Tune in to discover how to lift your foot off the brakes, reclaim your menuchas hanefesh, and step back into a life of genuine regulation, joy, and purpose.

Have you ever repeated a positive affirmation you were supposed to say, but realized deep down that your body didn't believe a single word of it?

We tend to look at our bodies from the outside in by judging what we see in the mirror, criticizing our "imperfections", and treating our struggles with body image or intimacy like separate, frustrating problems to solve. It's exhausting, and honestly, it leaves a lot of us feeling incredibly lonely. But if you've ever felt like your body shuts down or goes into overdrive when you just want to connect, you aren't alone. This is your nervous system simply trying to protect you.

Real healing doesn't happen by forcing yourself to repeat affirmations you don't actually believe. It happens when we step out of our heads and learn to listen to what our bodies are telling us from the inside out. When we feel safe, our entire physiology shifts, moving us away from shame and anxiety and opening us up to true, deep connection.

This podcast is a gentle space to explore somatic healing, nervous system regulation, and emotional truth. Together, we'll move past the isolation, look at the hidden pain beneath the surface, and learn how to build a richer, kinder, and safer relationship with our bodies and ourselves.

Why You Can't Think Your Way Out of Anxiety

Is your mind a meaning-making machine that just won't stop spinning? When a wave of worry or dread hits, our minds immediately look for a story to explain the discomfort. But what if the story isn't the source?

Long before your brain catches up, your nervous system has already answered its core question: Am I safe or in danger? In this episode, we challenge the traditional approach of reframing anxious thoughts and dive into what is actually happening below the surface. We explore where anxiety truly lives, the hidden purpose of the somatic alarm inside our bodies, and how this universal human struggle is secretly a roadmap guiding us toward our ultimate, deepest connection.

Tune in to discover how to stop looking outward for logic, and how to finally answer the alarm from the inside out.

This week's podcast episode was all about journaling, expression, and what happens in our bodies when we don't let things out. And right after recording it, I sat down and recorded a short somatic practice to go with it. It's a focusing-based exploration of your relationship to expression — what comes up when you think about it, what it would feel like if it were free, and what your body already knows about all of this. Give yourself ten minutes. See what comes up.

When my husband and I were first married, I suffered from chronic migraines, back pain, and other physical symptoms. What I've come to understand since then is that my body was doing the only thing it knew how to do: expressing through pain what I wasn't letting myself express. In this episode, we talk about the connection between self-expression and physical and emotional wellbeing — and specifically, about journaling as a tool for regulation, healing, and bringing out what's inside you. We get into: - why the brain creates physical pain to distract us from emotional pain (Dr. Sarno's work) - the one thing that finally helped me feel safe enough to journal - non-dominant hand writing and what it does to the brain - how I journal in a focusing way - the two different types of expression I use - the balance between expression and silence - the Torah idea that each of us has something completely unique to bring into the world

We're back! After almost two months away - because life here has been a lot - I'm so glad to be back with a new episode, and as always, joined by my husband Rabbi Yonasan Reiser. This week we're talking about being honest with ourselves. The kind of honesty that requires us to look underneath the surface - at the beliefs, the feelings, the needs, the thoughts that are quietly running the show whether we acknowledge them or not. We talk about why we avoid this kind of honesty, what happens when we don't feel our feelings (including a powerful Torah insight about anger and hatred), and what it actually means to embody something. We also get into shame, compassion, the language of the body, and why focusing is so powerful as a gentle path to self-discovery - one hair at a time.

It's been a week. In this episode, my husband Rabbi Yonasan Reiser and I sit down to talk about something that's been very alive right now: coping mechanisms in a real, honest, this-is-what-our-nervous-systems-actually-do way. We talk about what coping mechanisms actually are, why we can't just decide to stop doing them, and why the self-deprecation that comes after — the memes, the jokes, the haha-I-ate-everything — is actually just another coping mechanism sitting on top of the first one. I share what my own coping has looked like during this war. My husband shares his. We get into soldiers and dissociation and bitachon. And we close with the idea that during times of intense pressure, the small steps we manage to take — the tiny bits of awareness, the moments of trying — carry exponential weight. Neurologically and spiritually. The olive doesn't reveal its light until it's pressed. This one's for anyone who's been a little hard on themselves lately for how they're coping. Which is probably most of us.

Purim is over. Your nervous system might not know that yet. The body doesn't reset the moment the seuda ends. It takes time to unwind from noise, from running, from giving, from holding everything together — or from not quite managing to. The activation lingers. The tension stays tucked into places you might not even notice until you slow down enough to feel them. This week's practice is a somatic tracking exercise — moving through the body with curiosity, resting wherever your attention is drawn, noticing what each part is still holding, and letting it know you're there. There's a line from the practice I want to offer you before you listen: "You might feel like you're not doing very much. But you're doing so much for your system." That's the paradox of this kind of work. Presence — just being with what's there — is not passive. It's how stuck energy begins to move. What is your body most ready to put down after this week? Listen here.