The Prancing Pony Podcast

Huan wants to end the power of cats forever; Alan and Sara would settle for ending the power of internet trolls for a few years. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as Tevildo’s doorkeeper gets laid off the hard way as we continue reading The Tale of Tinúviel in Beren and Lúthien. Huan’s plan begins to bear furry fruit, Tinúviel spots his man and begins to tell some sweet little lies, and Tevildo finds himself up a tree. We spot even more threes, wonder what Tevildo’s severance package looks like (hint: it probably involves more severing), and decide that Miaulë might just be the best name for a cat - ever. Also, can we please stop talking about tongues and licking??

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Tinwelint (Thingol to the rest of you) asks his daughter to “put this folly away from thee”; Sara’s been telling Alan to do the same for years now. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as Tinúviel makes good her escape from the mighty Hirilorn like a cat in the dark as we continue our reading of this early tale in Beren and Lúthien. Tinúviel knows better than to promise what she can’t deliver, Dairon gets lost in the woods and finds himself way off course, and the goodest dog ever gets his earliest introduction. We reach a disturbing conclusion, decide Tinúviel has the weirdest gap-year plans ever, and speculate about the blueprints for Tevildo’s giant cat condo. Also, three is a magic number, oh yes it is.

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Beren is so hungry that he picks his way through leftover scraps at an Orc camp; Alan and Sara are somehow no longer hungry at all. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we continue our look at The Tale of Tinúviel in Beren and Lúthien. Beren proves he can really think on his feet, Tevildo smells dog, and Dairon proves to be as petty as he was cowardly. We compare Tinwelint and Melko with surprising results, wonder about the torture of the balrogs (though not too much), and discover that flattery will get you… a really crappy job. Also, we’ve invented a new cat food flavor!

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Dairon is named among the three most magic players; Alan and Sara aren’t even named among the three most magic podcasters. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we begin our long look at the oldest version of the story of Beren and Lúthien, known as The Tale of Tinúviel. Tinúviel dances better than anyone this side of Valinor, Beren is an Elf from the wrong side of the tracks, and Tinwelint wants his daughter to listen carefully to the sound of her loneliness. We like Tinúviel’s sass, acknowledge that Beren is a hero too, and readily acknowledge that Verlyn Flieger is our hero. Also, why doesn’t she like The Beatles?

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Christopher Tolkien points out the ‘undercurrent of sardonic humor’ in Tolkien’s earliest version of this story; Alan and Sara’s sardonic humor is more like a whirlpool. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we finish our walk through of Christopher’s introduction to the story of Beren and Lúthien. Christopher tells us that the original story exists only in a mostly-erased pencil manuscript, sets up the frame narrative for The Tale of Tinúviel, and explains what his father meant by ‘Gnome’. We talk about Tolkien as a different kind of war poet, engage in some lovely Fëanor-bashing, and find out precisely what a palimpsest is. Also, that’s a rom-com.

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Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we join a few of our patrons in the PPP Common Room for our 36th Questions After Nightfall! Sara looks for the familiar bus tires, as we answer questions about Nienna and the hobbits, Dwarves and their retirement plans, and medieval murder bunnies. Also, we wonder what the winter is like in Gondolin.

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Christopher Tolkien believes that the book he was working on was “in no conceivable way publishable”. Alan and Sara sometimes think the same about the podcast. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we begin Season 11 and our year-long journey through Beren and Lúthien. Christopher wants to avoid turning his father’s literary history into a nonsense, recognizes that The History of Middle-earth might have a deterrent effect, and uses a familiar voice to tell us about Beleriand. We hope you don’t mind that we find ‘simply inexxagerable’ to be a tremendous phrase. We also try not to cry at an emotional letter, and believe that’s not a book - it’s a weapon. Also, a ‘mere maiden’?

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It turns out the Stones are more amenable to legitimate users; too bad all we have are Alan and Shawn. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as we conclude our reading of the chapter on The Palantíri, as well as our time in Unfinished Tales, as Season 10 of The Prancing Pony Podcast stumbles across the finish line. Denethor trusts in his own strength, the Stones don’t come with owner’s manuals, and shrouding remains a complete mystery. We observe that Tolkien is really committed to the bit, discuss the lore of the Stones (and the Stones), and agree that Sauron is a micromanager. Also, Shawn chats with Alan about the future of the PPP and calls him a nerd.

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After the Kings, Gondor declined into a Middle Age of fading knowledge and simpler skills. Alan and Shawn find that surprisingly familiar. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as we begin our two-episode look at the final chapter of Unfinished Tales on The Palantíri. The Stewards know better than to use the Stones — for awhile, Saruman takes the concept of free agency a bit too far, and Tolkien lets us think through the problem with Gandalf. We lament the absence of Jack Black, agree that Calenardhon’s name change is nobody’s business but the Rohirrim, and come up with a most-disturbing Lionel Richie adaptation. Also, Carnac the Magnificent.

For more on the Middle-earth Online Art Exhibition that Katie spoke about in the intro, please visit: https://sites.google.com/breecrossroadsartexhibitionevent.com/home/home

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Some people believe that “Gandalf” was the last appearance of Manwë; Alan is convinced Shawn is the last appearance of Oromë. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as they conclude their three-episode walk through the chapter on The Istari from Unfinished Tales. The lore of the wizards is given in alliterative verse; the “north” is defined very, very broadly; and where did Gandalf go, really? We find that a Philology Faire can get Shawn in trouble, wonder what Sindarin might be for ‘burning man’, and discover it’s 106 miles to Chicago. Also, silver badger?

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The Istari were never young and aged only slowly; Alan and Shawn will have to settle for only one of those two. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as they continue their three-part study of The Istari from Unfinished Tales. The Valar hold a council meeting to help make up for ancient errors; Olórin would prefer to say no to the promotion; and Legolas is called out for underachievement. We speculate about the Blues’ street-wizard lifestyle, wonder about second jottings, and think Morrissey would have made a great Black Wizard. Also: send Thufir, not Duncan.

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The wizards went about in simple guise, as it were of Men already old in years. Alan and Shawn have been doing that for years. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as they embark on a three-episode look at the chapter on the Istari in Unfinished Tales. The Valar send five emissaries, two of whom promptly disappear; Radagast gets distracted watching nature documentaries, and Gandalf has nothing to do with Grand-Elf. We engage in some light blasphemy, imagine Saruman and Gandalf in a Highlander-universe, and decide we ought not count on the parakeets of doom. Also, Kermit the Wizard.

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Join The Man of the West as The Lord of the Mark submits his application to return to the PPP as guest host for a six-episode run to wrap up Season 10; Alan welcomes Shawn back by throwing him into the chaos of a live Q&A for our 35th Questions After Nightfall! We take a deep dive into some important words from On Fairy-Stories 10 years after the first time we tried, answer a hard question about hard times, and talk about the consequences of bad parenting in Arda. Also, we speculate about Ar-Pharazôn the looksmaxxer, decide that Alan does blasphemy really well, and conclude that Tom wins the internet with “Here’s Your Hröa, What’s Your Hurry?”

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Aghan brings a watch-stone to Barach’s house; Alan and Don wonder if that violates the HOA rules. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we conclude our two-episode look at The Drúedain from Unfinished Tales — and Don’s run of episodes on this season of the PPP. Barach needs home protection, Aghan learns a painful truth, and it’s no surprise the Drúedain are a secretive people. We wonder if Sauron considered that he might have to take a share in the hurts of a thing he made, express our admiration for Tolkien’s story-within-a-story, and discover that while a rock feels no pain, Drúedain do. Also, The Tolkien Professor stops by for a visit!

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The Folk of Haleth retained many practices that seemed strange to the Eldar and the other Atani; Alan retains a few strange practices and Don wants nothing to do with them. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we begin our two-episode look at the Unfinished Tales chapter on the enigmatic people known as the Drúedain. The Haladin are already unusual, so what’s one more quirk among Edain?; the Drûg might be ‘unlovely’ but they’re incredible trackers; and their orcs decide not to dare disturb the sound of silence. We only wish we had merriment untainted by scorn, admit we might also be unlovely in looks, and speculate about Drúedain in Númenor. Also, maybe the Drúedain don’t like mushrooms after all?

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Short cuts lead to long delays… or perhaps just slaughter and death. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we welcome back the always-insightful, often-hilarious Dr. Bret Devereaux to the Common Room! Our favorite ancient and military historian (the conjunction is important) joins us to answer questions ranging from Númenórean naval power to the practicality, or lack thereof, of steel bows. You’ll learn more about ship-building than you thought you’d ever need to know, find out that donut armies are (sadly) not covered in sprinkles, and hear about centuries-old food that is still edible — alcohol is a good plan. We ask why a navy might take five years to arrive for their “friends”, wonder how Saruman thought he could actually win this thing, and find ourselves educated about riverine transport. Also: “they’re the same flaw”.

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The Elendilmir worn by the Kings of Arnor had not the ancientry nor potency of the original; there’s got to be a joke in there about Alan and Don, right? Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we conclude our two-part look at The Disaster of the Gladden Fields from Unfinished Tales. Isildur realizes he can’t live with or without the Ring, Aragorn discovers a piece of ancient Númenórean history, and Saruman is a naughty wizard. We wonder what the Ring makes invisible, decide neither of us will take part in The Isildur Challenge, and wonder if Aragorn can count. Also: will Don write a new TTRPG campaign?

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Isildur proclaims his sovereign lordship over all the Dúnedain; Alan knows better than to proclaim lordship over his own podcast. Join The Man of the West as he welcomes back Don Marshall to the Common Room to begin our two-part look at the chapter The Disaster of the Gladden Fields from Unfinished Tales. Isildur plans a long road trip, the orcs have the high ground, and Elendur tells his dad to walk til you run and don’t look back. We discuss the state of hand-me-downs among families of Númenórean descent, agree that it is dawn — not Don — that is ever the hope of men, and discover we both liked Solo, thank you very much. Also: another book from Don!

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Saruman has no time for the simples of peasants; Alan and Matt wouldn’t mind if things were simpler. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we get an in-depth look at Saruman’s continuing jealousy of Gandalf as we conclude our four-episode study of The Hunt for the Ring from Unfinished Tales. Saruman knows it’s a long day living in Isengard, Gandalf gives reasons why smoking is actually good, and Radagast gets stuck in the middle. We alliterate with Sean Connery, wonder where the non-smoking section is in Rivendell, and decide we clearly cannot choose the hobbit in front of you. Also, the Nazgûl’s wet socks.

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Gollum was peculiarly fitted to survive in Moria, though at cost of great misery; Matt is also able to survive his time on the PPP with the same cost. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we get a closer look at Saruman’s unenviable position in our third episode of four on The Hunt for the Ring from Unfinished Tales. Gollum doesn’t know how to open a door, Saruman discovers there ain’t no easy way out, and the Nazgûl make a new friend on the road north. We conclude that Númenor messed up Middle-earth timezones but agree they’re still smart enough not to bother with Daylight Saving Time, agree with Bret Devereaux’s conclusion that “Saruman is a dummy-wummy whose plans fail because they are bad”, and observe that we might be the only two people in the Venn diagram of sports fans and Tolkien fans. Also: Matt gets the munchies.

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