The QBQ! Podcast

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I've been thinking lately about how we treat people who see the world differently than we do. And I'll admit, sometimes I'm just baffled by the things people are willing to say about each other, especially online!

When did disagreeing with someone become a reason to dislike them—or worse, decide they're a bad person?

From politics and parenting to faith and education, we all have strong opinions. But somewhere along the way, it seems we've forgotten how to disagree without disrespecting one another.

In this solo episode of The QBQ! Podcast, I share some personal experiences with disagreements that damaged relationships, a wonderful conversation with a friend that actually strengthened ours, and something I've struggled with for years: being misunderstood!

Can we hold strong convictions and still treat people with kindness? Can we listen without agreeing? And what happens when someone refuses to give us the benefit of the doubt?

As always, it comes back to personal accountability. I can't control what others believe, say, or post online. But I can choose how I respond.

The QBQ to consider: What can I do to make room for someone who sees the world differently than I do?

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Tania Khazaal understands family estrangement from the inside out. She was once the estranged adult child in her own family, later reconciled with her mother, and now helps parents navigate the heartbreak and uncertainty of estrangement with greater understanding, compassion, and personal accountability.

What I appreciated most about Tania was her ability to hold two truths at once: Parents can take an honest look at themselves without accepting all the blame, and they can work toward healing without trying to control another person’s choices.

Tania offers practical insight into why adult children may pull away, how defensiveness can deepen the divide, and what it looks like to move from proving yourself to improving yourself. Her concept of “engaged detachment” is especially powerful for anyone wondering how to keep loving someone while letting go of the outcome.

This is a thoughtful, hopeful conversation for parents of estranged adult children and for anyone who wants to bring more humility, empathy, and accountability into their closest relationships.

To discover more about Tania's work, check this out: https://taniakhazaal.com/

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Episode 36: Accountability Doesn't Mean Control

What happens when you've done your part—and the other person still doesn't do theirs?

Whether it's an unanswered sales inquiry, a frustrating relationship, or a decision someone else needs to make, it's easy to confuse personal accountability with responsibility for the outcome.

In this solo episode, I share a few real-life examples of that tension and explore an important distinction: Taking ownership doesn't mean we can (or should even try to) control everything around us.

Sometimes accountability means taking action. Other times, it means recognizing we've done what is ours to do and giving ourselves permission to let go.

The question to take with you: Have I done what is mine to do?

And, of course, the Ultimate QBQ: How can I let go of what I can't control?

Related reading: No Whining: Defeating Frustration with QBQ! by John G. Miller.

More personal accountability resources at QBQ.com.

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What happens when you sit down with John G. Miller and ask him a bunch of random questions?

Apparently, you still end up talking about personal accountability.

In this episode, Dad and I go a little off-script with a mix of fun, unexpected, and thought-provoking questions—and somehow keep finding our way back to the ideas behind QBQ!.

It’s a relaxed conversation about life, choices, perspective, and the way personal accountability shows up in places you might not expect.

Random topics. Real accountability.

If your team or organization could benefit from QBQ! training, visit QBQ.com to learn more and contact us.

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Resources:

https://qbq.com/relationships-7-perfect-words/

https://qbq.com/books/raising-accountable-kids/

How do I help my children stretch and grow without making them feel as though who they are isn’t enough?

Inspired by my dad John G. Miller’s blog about the “7 Perfect Words,” I share a moment when the QBQ! guideline “Every QBQ! contains an I” challenged my own parenting. It’s an honest reflection on expectations, raising pastor’s kids, personality differences, and the fine line between coaching someone I love and trying to change them.

Who in your life needs to hear these seven words today?

“I love you just as you are.”

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I talk a lot about asking better questions—but I loved the way my guest John Kirkman applies that idea: What can I do to help this person feel awesome?

(check out https://awz.me/ for a creative way to encourage others!)

John has made encouragement an intentional practice in his classroom, his family, and his community. And as we talked, I was struck by how naturally that connects to Personal Accountability. Instead of wondering what someone thinks of me, criticizing what they’re doing wrong, or waiting for someone else to change the tone, I can ask what I can do to make a difference.

In this conversation, John shares what he’s learned from years of working with teenagers, how encouragement and accountability can actually strengthen each other, and a powerful story about a teenage girl who experienced his “You’re Awesome” challenge at exactly the right time.

It’s a fun, heartfelt conversation about the power of our words, the questions we ask, and what can happen when we decide not to wait for someone else to go first.

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Two weeks ago, I talked about using QBQ! to find calm in the middle of change. This week, Cindy Moen joins me to continue that conversation.

Cindy recently retired from her role as Chief People Officer and shares how she used QBQ! to process the unexpected emotions that came with even a carefully planned change. We talk about letting go, feeling needed, supporting others through transition, and moving forward into a new season.

Change can quickly pull us into questions about what other people are doing—or why things aren’t happening the way we expected. QBQ! helps us turn our focus back to ourselves and ask, “What can I do?” Even when we can’t control the change, we can choose how we respond.

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Change is inevitable, but chaos doesn't have to be. In this episode, Kristin shares why change naturally leads us to ask lousy questions, and how asking better ones can help us respond with calm instead of frustration. Through stories from recent client conversations and a very personal parenting moment, you'll discover what QBQ looks like in the middle of real life.

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AI is changing the way we work, learn, and do business—but what does that mean for personal accountability?

In this episode, I sit down with entrepreneur, business coach, and my sister-in-law, Jen Hickle, to talk about navigating change in the age of AI. Jen works at the intersection of technology and people, helping business owners adapt, grow, and solve problems, so I knew she'd have valuable insights to share.

Together, we explore how to embrace AI as a tool without outsourcing our thinking, our creativity, or our humanity. We talk about the realities of entrepreneurship, the importance of knowing your strengths, and why asking better questions matters more than ever when the world around us is changing.

Along the way, we discuss everything from business innovation and critical thinking to homeschooling, technology, and the surprising return of "analog" hobbies.

If you're feeling excited, overwhelmed, curious, or even a little skeptical about AI, I think you'll enjoy this conversation.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Using AI as a tool without becoming dependent on it
• Why critical thinking matters more than ever
• The ups and downs of entrepreneurship
• Understanding and leveraging your strengths
• Helping kids learn in a technology-filled world
• The role personal accountability plays during times of change

One of my favorite takeaways from our conversation was this:

Don't outsource your thinking.

No matter how much technology changes, we're still responsible for the questions we ask, the decisions we make, and the actions we take.

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One of the biggest misconceptions I encounter about personal accountability is the belief that it means doing more, working harder, and saying yes to everything.

In this solo episode, I share a conversation I recently had with a client leadership team that sparked an important discussion about accountability and boundaries. Someone on the call made an observation that really stuck with me: the people who care the most are often the ones carrying the most.

We admire people who serve others, put others first, and go the extra mile. But what happens when those strengths lead to exhaustion, resentment, and burnout?

In this episode, I explore why personal accountability isn't just about ownership of our work—it's about ownership of our whole lives. That includes our energy, our health, our schedules, our boundaries, and yes, even self-care.

I'll share a few practical QBQs that can help us move away from overwhelm and toward healthier choices.

Because taking care of ourselves isn't selfish. It's responsible.

Thanks for listening, and as always, remember: The answers are in the questions.

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When life feels unfair, where does your thinking go first?

In this episode of The QBQ! Podcast, I sat down with Brad Detchevery, a longtime QBQ! reader and listener who shared how personal accountability transformed the way he handled one of the most frustrating seasons of his life.

After a car accident during a food delivery shift led to a two-year insurance battle, Brad found himself trapped in obsessive thinking, victim mentality, and constant frustration. But through QBQ, he slowly learned to shift from asking:

“Why is this happening to me?”

to:

“What can I do to break this cycle?”

Brad and I discuss:

• victim thinking vs. personal accountability
• why people need to feel heard before they’re ready to change
• how the stories we tell ourselves shape our emotions
• practical ways to refocus on what we can control
• teaching QBQ! to others without sounding preachy
• the emotional side of accountability and self-compassion

This episode is honest, relatable, and full of practical wisdom for anyone navigating stress, frustration, conflict, or discouragement.

If you’ve ever found yourself replaying a situation over and over in your head, this conversation is for you.

To support Brad’s Type 1 diabetes fundraiser through Breakthrough T1D, visit:

https://breakthrought1d.akaraisin.com/ui/2026BreakthroughT1DWalk/p/bbe5aded09f445f29f4bbd27535b7704

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I’m re-sharing one of my favorite QBQ! Podcast conversations today with Joe Hamilton, CEO and President of Vortex Optics. Plus a little surprise!

Joe shares the incredible story of building Vortex from a small trade show tent into the largest sport optics company in the world—and how personal accountability, consistency, and service shaped that journey along the way.

What I love about this conversation is how practical it is. We talk about leadership, culture, customer experience, family life, and the simple QBQ question:
“What can I do to make this better?”

Joe also shares why he’s given away hundreds of copies of QBQ! over the years and why he believes these principles are timeless.

Surprise! I added in a short segment from our original conversation that didn’t make the first release. It's one of my favorite parts of an interview yet, all about repetition, timeless wisdom, and why we all need reminders.

I think this episode is worth another listen. I hope you enjoy it.

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We just brought home a new puppy, and within hours, I caught myself asking all the wrong questions.

“Why is she doing this?” “When is she going to learn?” “Who's going to handle this mess??”

Sound familiar?

In this episode, I’m sharing what puppy training is teaching me about personal accountability and how quickly we can fall into blame, frustration, and waiting… instead of ownership.

Because whether it’s a puppy, a person, or a problem, the principle is the same:

I can’t change them.
But I can change me.

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What does it take to move a team from finger-pointing to real results?

In this episode, I talk with Debbie Slocum, a longtime QBQ user and former HR leader at Husqvarna. She shares what it was like to be the “lone wolf” introducing QBQ to her team, and how things finally started to shift when the first follower stepped in.

That’s when it stopped being just one person pushing and started becoming a movement.

We talk about what actually makes accountability stick:

• why it takes more than a one-time training
• how repetition builds a shared language
• and what leaders must do to keep it alive

Debbie also shares how QBQ changed her beyond work—as a leader, a parent, and someone learning to let go of what she can’t control.

A simple reminder:
Better questions → better results.

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What do outstanding organizations actually do differently?

In this episode of The QBQ! Podcast, I’m joined by my dad, John, as we talk about the books beyond QBQ!—including Flipping the Switch, I Own It!, Raising Accountable Kids, and Outstanding! Each one builds on the same core idea: personal accountability is the foundation for better results—at work, at home, and in leadership.

In our conversation, we share:

• Why great organizations don’t “speak in code”
• How simple habits like humility, clarity, and ownership shape culture
• A powerful story of a pilot who went the extra mile—and what it teaches us about leadership
• Real examples of how teams are applying these ideas today

Whether you’re leading a team, raising kids, or simply looking to grow, I hope this episode challenges you to ask better questions—and take ownership of what comes next.

🎧 As always, the question is: What can I do?

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In this episode of the QBQ! Podcast, I’m joined by Laura Train, founder of Integrity Training Solutions and a longtime QBQ practitioner and distributor. Laura first encountered QBQ! while working at the Social Security Administration, and she shares how those simple principles transformed the way she leads, teaches, and responds under pressure. From leadership lessons in government service to a season caring for her mom, Laura talks about how learning to pause and ask better questions helped her move from reacting to responding. If you’ve ever struggled with stress, control, procrastination, or blame, this conversation is a reminder that sometimes the most powerful change begins with one simple question.

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Part 2 of a conversation with the Coast to Coast Camps leadership team, this episode turns the focus to parenting, modeling, and what it really takes to raise an accountable generation.

From foster care to grandparenting, from toddlers to adult children, this conversation spans every stage of parenting—and one shared conviction: accountability isn’t taught through lectures, it’s learned by watching the adults go first.

You’ll hear real stories about cleaning up your own mess, choosing ownership over excuses, and why “do as I do” carries far more weight than “do as I say.” The team also explores why Raising Accountable Kids resonated deeply with their staff members, many non-parents, how reading this parenting book built empathy and maturity in the young staff.

Whether you’re a parent, leader, educator, or simply someone trying to live your values more consistently, this episode is a reminder that the example we set—especially in the small, ordinary moments—is what shapes the next generation.

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When Every Problem Points to You

From Bottleneck to Breakthrough

What do you do when every problem seems to land on you?

In this episode of the QBQ! Podcast, I’m joined by the leadership team from Coast to Coast Camps for a conversation about leadership, culture, and personal accountability. Bud Harley shares how discovering QBQ! helped shift responsibility from bottlenecking at the top to becoming a shared language across the team.

We talk about what it looks like to eliminate blame and waiting, why accountability doesn’t require a position, and how asking better questions leads to action.

If you lead people in any capacity—at work, in a nonprofit or ministry, or at home—this episode is an invitation to stop carrying everything alone and start moving responsibility forward.

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. In Part 2, we shift the focus to parenting, fostering, and raising the next generation of accountable kids and leaders.

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“I still have to hold my people accountable.”

Managers say this all the time—and it’s a fair question.

In this short, one-off episode of the QBQ! Podcast, Kristin Lindeen clarifies the difference between personal accountability and holding others accountable—and why that distinction matters for leaders.

Drawing from a recent leadership workshop and a powerful insight shared by a frontline manager, Kristin explores two common myths of accountability and explains why no leader can make someone rise to the standard.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why accountability isn’t a team activity or something you “hold” over others
• What personal accountability really means (and what it doesn’t)
• The leader’s true role: clarity, coaching, standards, and consequences
• A better question every manager should be asking

🎧 Ideal for managers, supervisors, team leads, and parents.

If this episode resonated, consider sharing it with a leader who may be carrying responsibility that isn’t theirs.

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Why Great Hospitality Starts with Better Questions
The QBQ Approach to Restaurant Leadership and Accountability

In the restaurant world, it’s easy to spend your days reacting—putting out fires, fixing mistakes, and wondering why people “just don’t get it.” Over time, that way of leading wears people down.

In this episode of the QBQ! Podcast, I talk with restaurant consultant and operator Vince Lanni about how asking better questions can change what’s happening on the restaurant floor. We discuss why blaming people doesn’t improve performance, how leaders can shift from reacting to leading, and the two questions Vince believes every restaurant owner should be asking regularly.

If you work in hospitality—whether you’re managing a shift, leading a team, or running the business—this conversation is a practical reminder that great hospitality starts with personal accountability.

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