The Worst Bestsellers

In honor of our 300th episode, we decided to go back to where it all began: Forks, Washington! We re-read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer with our special guest, THE Meredith Goldstein of the Boston Globe Love Letters column and podcast. Thanks so much to Meredith, everyone who turned out for the live event, everyone who’s been listening to this podcast over the past 300 episodes, and of course to Stephenie Meyer.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Watch the video replay of our live event at Porter Square Books!

Episode 181 – The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner

Episode 158 – Midnight Sun

Episode 82 – Breaking Dawn

Episode 58 – Eclipse

Episode 40 – Twilight Life and Death

Episode 31 – New Moon

Episode 01 – Twilight

Coming up next: Patreon Choice: Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman.

Did you ever wish you could read something that was kinda like Harry Potter, but with way more graphic torture and sexual assault? No? Well, apparently a whole lot of people did want that, because Alchemised by SenLinYu is a huge bestseller. We discussed it with our long-suffering friend Nicole. Before you listen to this episode, please give us $1. I think you’ll all agree that we earned it.

Content warning: Discussion of Harry Potter (and its transphobic author); also sexual assault, death, torture, pretty much any grimdark type of content warning you could imagine, this book probably has.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Alchemised: how Harry Potter fanfic went mainstream” by Chas Newkey-Burden

“What Is ‘Manacled’? Everything to Know About the Viral Fan Fiction By ‘Alchemised’ Author SenLinYu” by Maddie Ellis

Manacled & Alchemised Direct Character List on Reddit

Original Manacled Fanfiction link on Internet Archive

SenLinYu on Tumblr

Daniel Radcliffe Responds to J.K. Rowling’s Tweets on Gender Identity

Coming up next: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.

Somehow, we’ve been podcasting for 12 years? And Stephenie Meyer rudely did not release any new books this year, so we were forced to read Court by Tracy Wolff, book 4 in her deeply derivative (but not legally plagiarized) Crave series. Our OG guest Carrie joined us to navigate this boring escape room. Thank you all so much for listening to us for (up to) twelve years! Please listen to this episode while manifesting new output from Stephenie Meyer.

Announcement: Please join us on Friday, October 9th at 6:30pm for our special 300th episode live show! We’ll be discussing Twilight with Meredith Goldstein. It will be free to attend at Porter Square Books and also livestreamed for those who can’t make it in person.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Courtney Milan’s BlueSky thread on Tracy Wolff’s court case

The newest update on the plagiarism case

“After 6,000 Romantasy Pages, Judge Hands Crave Plaintiff the Bill” by Aaron Moss

Crave timeline on Reddit

Episode 227 – Crave

Episode 249 – Crush

Episode 274 – Covet

Coming up next: Alchemised by SenLinYu.

Lock up your children and manuscripts: we read Verity by Colleen Hoover. We were joined by Renata’s cherished friend Jake to discuss this BookTok sensation. Listen to this episode while you sand the teeth marks out of your headboard.

Announcement: Please join us on Friday, October 9th at 6:30pm for our special 300th episode live show! We’ll be discussing Twilight with Meredith Goldstein. It will be free to attend at Porter Square Books and also livestreamed for those who can’t make it in person.

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains the death of children.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 213 – It Ends With Us

Overdue Episode 607 – Slammed

Verity movie trailer

“Steak ‘n Shake’s new chief MAHA officer: We’re going ‘back to the glory days of fast food’” by Sophie Brams

Grammarphobia on Realtors

Coming up next: Court by Tracy Wolff.

Flashback Summer is over, but we still ended up back in 1855…or did we? By popular request, we read Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. We were joined by S. Jae-Jones, author of the Guardians of Dawn series (including the latest in the series, Suhwa.) Listen to this episode while you churn your butter. (It’s an extra long ep so you might have time to make a fresh loaf of bread, too!)

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains sexual assault.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Diabolical Lies podcast

“Ballerina Farm is Happy With Her Choices” by Stephanie McNeal

“Here’s what you don’t see about Ballerina Farm’s tradwife life – and it’s depressing af” by Laura Butler

“Anne Hathaway makes first comment about Yesteryear adaptation after author addresses book’s backlash” by Shelby Stivale

Fundie Fridays

Episode #214 – Corinne

Coming up next: Verity by Colleen Hoover.

The Venn diagram between Flashback Summer and Sad Girl Summer is overlapping! We read Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson. For our discussion we were joined by a very cool sad girl, Theresa Okokon (@Ohh.Jeezzz), the author of Who I Always Was and cohost of Stories from the Stage. By the way, if you haven’t gotten around to reading this one before–it is actually good and we are actually spoiling the heck out of it. You’ve been warned. (And if you have read it: then you know you should have a box of tissues handy for this episode.)

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Katherine Paterson’s Bridge to Terabithia Newbery Medal Acceptance speech

“Katie Ledecky ‘breaks’ Olympic male gold medalist in practice” by Nick Zaccardi

Coming up next: Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke.

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Can you believe that in all our years of podcasting, we’ve never done the very first Baby-Sitters Club book? Well, now we’re flashing all the way back to 1986, when Kristy Thomas first got the gang together. We were joined by Jess & Rach of Book Trivia Podcast to discuss Kristy’s Great Idea (Baby-Sitters Club #1) by Ann M. Martin. Listen to this episode on your next endless drive through Connecticut.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Book Trivia Podcast episode on Kristy’s Great Idea

Episode 53 – The Baby-sitters Club

Episode 152 – Mallory and the Trouble With Twins

Episode 174 – Baby-sitters’ Summer Vacation!

Episode 175 – Claudia and Mean Janine

Episode 176 – Karen’s Plane Trip

Episode 177 – Baby-Sitters Beware

Episode 246 – Stacey and the Bad Girls

Coming up next: Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson.

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Are you melting in the summer heat wave? Well, why don’t you join us for a Flashback Summer trip back to the winter of 1864? Bundle up in your best furs, because we read Changes for Kirsten by Janet Beeler Shaw. We were joined by Mary Mahoney (@MimiMahoney), co-author of Dolls of Our Lives: Why We Can’t Quit American Girl, former co-host of the Dolls of our Lives podcast, and current host of the Landline podcast. Whatever you do, do not let a baby raccoon into your house while listening to this episode.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode #76 – American Girl

Childhood Nostalgia: A Collection of Pleasant Company and American Girl Catalogues

Minnesota Historical Society MNopedia

Coming up next: Kristy’s Great Idea (Baby-Sitters Club #1) by Ann M. Martin.

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Flashback Summer is getting mildly spooky! We read The Celery Stalks at Midnight by James Howe with Sara Farizan, author of several books of varying spookiness levels including the upcoming The Last Resort: Ghost Light. While listening to your episode, please keep an eye on your pets to make sure they don’t get into any chocolate!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode #126 – Bunnicula

Cornell College of Veterinary Medicine on Chocolate Toxicity

James Howe on Wikipedia

Mark Davis and James Howe wedding announcement

Coming up next: Changes for Kirsten by Janet Beeler Shaw.

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Flashback Summer continues as we journey 400 Turns into the past with Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey. Paul from the That Aged Well podcast joined us to discuss the oft-requested Dragonriders of Pern series. Listen to this episode while you weave a beautiful tapestry of flamethrowers.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Mahna Mahna

Coming up next: The Celery Stalks at Midnight by James Howe.

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Flashback Summer is kicking off with a Code Green: LEPrecon alert! We read Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colferwith our returning guest Mackenzi Lee, author of of many books including Teela: Daughter of Eternos. If this book is Die Hard with fairies, then this episode is technically a Christmas special.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Artemis Fowl on Wikipedia

Coming up next: Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey.

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The whole internet has been talking about Adult Braces by Lindy West, so we decided to join the conversation. And who better to join us than Friend of the Show Margaret H. Willison (@MrsFridayNext)? You can find Margaret at Culture Study and you can find us in Key West, petting Ernest Hemingway’s polydactyl cats. Listen now to find out our legally binding ruling on whether or not Lindy West needs a divorce!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Love Letters: Meredith & Margaret on Lindy West’s Adult Braces

“Lindy West’s How-Not-To Guide to Polyamory” by Scaachi Koul

AMA: Nonmonogamy Edition from Lindy West’s Substack

The Lindy West Deep Dive from Ashley Ray’s Substack

“Big Love” from Jennifer Weiner’s Substack

Ijeoma Oluo on Threads

Coming up next: Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer.

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May the 4th be with you! (If you’re listening to this on the day it comes out! If not: may the Force be with you.) In honor of this faux Star Wars holiday, we read Shadows of the Empire by Steve Perry. We were joined by writer and Star Wars enthusiast Nanci Schwartz to discuss this story that’s more than a video game and less than a movie. Many Bothans died to bring you this episode.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 173 – The Courtship of Princess Leia

The Birth of Cheesoid

Gungans and Daddies: All That Jizz

Coming up next: Adult Braces by Lindy West.

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We’re crawling out of our coffins and we’re doing just fine. We were joined by Rebecca Mahoney, author of Thrall, to discuss The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice. Please do not play this episode in the presence of Akasha, Queen of the Damned–the audio waves will only agitate her.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Thrall Book Launch event at Porter Square Books on April 24th

Episode 125 – Interview With the Vampire

Savage Garden on Wikipedia

Lestat the Musical

Coming up next: Shadows of the Empire by Steve Perry.

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Two of the greatest minds of our generation, Nicholas Sparks and M. Night Shyamalan, have joined forces to give the world this extremely mid book: Remain. Fortunately, we were joined by the delightful Annie Cardi, author of Winter White, for a walk to remember through Cape Cod, led by a beautiful ghost whose purpose on earth is to teach an entitled man how to do basic chores. Listen to this episode while you research property law.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Episode 25 – True Believer

Episode 70 – The Notebook

Tate Donovan on IMDB

Rocky on Wikipedia

Coming up next: The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice.

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We conclude our arbitrary celebration of Canada Month with a playoff episode that went into overtime. Yes: we read Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid. We needed two guests to handle a title of this magnitude, so we were joined by fangirl in STEM Sarah and authentic Canadian/Canadien Kathleen Gros, author and artist of several books including Anne: An Adaptation of Anne of Green Gables (Sort Of). Listen to this episode while driving to the cottage!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Canadian Heritage Minutes

“Heated Rivalry Is Chess” by Rebecca Alter

“Weapons’ Hot Dog Scene Is Actually a Heartfelt Tribute to Zach Cregger’s Late Friend” by Tai Gooden

“Those Tuna Melts in Heated Rivalry are So Gay” by John Birdsall

Important Heated Rivalry Fan Art

Coming up next: Remain by Nicholas Sparks with M. Night Shyamalan.

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This March, Worst Bestsellers is celebrating our neighbor to the north with our first ever Canada Month. We’re kicking it off by talking to Canadian treasure Ann Foster (host of Vulgar History, author of Rebel of the Regency: The Scandalous Saga of Caroline of Brunswick, Britain’s Queen Without a Crown) about another Canadian treasure: Bear by Marian Engel. This book walked so that shifter romances could gallop. Listen to this episode while you’re alone in the woods.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Canada’s Most Controversial Novel” by Emily Zarevich.

Kanata Classics

Coming up next: Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid.

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This podcast ain’t big enough for two guests, but we were fortunate enough to squeeze in both Heidi and Emily from Romancing the Shelf for another round of Nora Roberts Month. This time, we went back in time with one of Nora’s rare historical romances: Lawless. So saddle up, pardner, and get ready for a trip to the Wild West! Listen to this podcast while traveling to the nearest town for dry goods.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Romancing the Shelf: Loving Jack series

Quora: What is the average speed of a horse-drawn carriage?

Lisa’s Date with Density

Coming up next: Bear by Marian Engel.

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If you’ve been watching us with binoculars, waiting for the podcast to return: well, here we are! (But you already knew that, didn’t you? Because you saw it coming with your binoculars.) Anyway, Christine Ricketts, author of The Ship and Nora Roberts expert, joined us for this year’s Nora Roberts Month to discuss The Collector. It’s the story of a housesitter/voyeur who peeps her way into an international criminal conspiracy involving Faberge eggs and a sexy painter. Listen to this episode while you bake one (1) muffin.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Riverdale’s 10 Most Amazing Fake Brands” by Kristin Baldwin.

Coming up next: Lawless by Nora Roberts.

Another year has come and (almost) gone, and we’ve once again managed to read some good books. Let us tell you about them!

Coming up next: A January hiatus. Happy New Year! We’ll see you in February!

Kait’s Top 5 Best

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5.) The Woods all Black by Lee Mandelo

4.) Bat Eater and Other Names for Cora Zheng by Kylie Lee Baker

3.) The Drowning House by Cherie Priest

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2.) Direct Descendant by Tanya Huff

1.) What Stalks the Deep by T. Kingfisher

Bonus: Tell Me I’m Worthless by Alison Rumfitt

Renata’s Top 5 Best

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5.) The Keeper of Magical Things by Julie Leong

4.) Joyride by Susan Orlean

3.) Swordheart by T. Kingfisher

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2.) Everything is Tuberculosis by John Green

1.) Racebook by Tochi Onyebuchi

Bonus: To Ride a Rising Storm by Moniquill Blackgoose