Totally Unexpected!

Leadership advisor Chanie Wilschanski, author of This Can’t Be Normal, joins Chavie to talk about being successful and still feeling like she was barely surviving. As the oldest daughter of Chabad shluchim in New Jersey, Chanie became the person everyone relied on. Chavie wonders whether taking charge helped her cope when home life felt chaotic and unpredictable. Later, married and raising a family in Crown Heights, she and her husband were working hard but still deep in debt. She built Schools of Excellence and they paid off their debt, but she couldn’t keep going the way she was. She shares what it was like to keep working through repeated illness and two miscarriages, even giving a keynote the day after surgery for a miscarriage. Eventually she began wondering why her life required so much endurance. They discuss how it can seem like responsibilities are divided at home, but one spouse is still left with the burden of making sure it gets done. Chanie introduces what she calls “rhythms,” things that stay predictable when life is unpredictable. Chavie shares how her therapist helps her question what’s urgent, and they talk about resisting the pressure to immediately solve a child’s problem when what they need is support.

About Chanie

Chanie Wilschanski is a mom of 4 and a leadership advisor, speaker, and founder of Schools of Excellence. She works with school owners and organizational leaders who have built successful businesses but find themselves carrying an unsustainable amount of invisible responsibility. She is the author of This Can’t Be Normal: What to Do When Success Starts to Feel Like Survival, a book that explores why success can begin to feel unexpectedly heavy when decisions, responsibility, and emotional weight quietly concentrate in one person. Through her work, Chanie helps leaders build the infrastructure, rhythms, and ownership that allow organizations to thrive without everything routing back to them.

This Week’s Prompt

Did you ever feel conflicted, scared, or overwhelmed by a pregnancy?

In collaboration with SHIFRA, this week’s voice notes feature mothers sharing their experiences of struggling during pregnancy and receiving support.

Stay to the end of every episode to hear listener voice notes in response to that week’s prompt. Want to join the conversation? Follow Chavie on Instagram for each week’s prompt, then send your voice note via WhatsApp to 406-600-4935.

Referenced On the Pod

• 3:54: Life Without a Phone, Chavie’s essay on Substack
• 8:38: Chavie’s interview with Liv Longin on The Brief
• 9:12: The Sisters Chat about Life Behind the Mic with Chavie Bruk
• 9:24: Mushky Yiftach Hashem’s Story: Becoming the Duct Tape Queen, on Totally Unexpected!
• 14:39: Erica Pelman’s Story: What the Abortion Debate Misses About Mothers, on Totally Unexpected!
• 18:40: This Can’t Be Normal by Chanie Wilschanski
• 44:08: Schools of Excellence, Chanie Wilschanski’s podcast
• 45:58: Terry Real, psychotherapist and author
• 1:16:03: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
• 1:39:12: Shaar Habitachon (Gate of Trust)
• 1:53:28: The Myth of Having It All by Chanie Wilschanski, EmBRace magazine, Fall 5787, pp. 34–37
• 1:54:17: The Cure for Chronic Pain with Nicole Sachs, LCSW

Stay in touch with Chanie

Download the first chapter of This Can’t Be Normal for free.

Stay in touch with Chavie

@chaviebruk on Instagram

https://www.totallyunexpected.blog

Totally Unexpected! on YouTube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Chavie and Erica bond over being two Texas girls, and Erica shares how a call from a friend planning an abortion eventually led her to create SHIFRA, a Jewish organization supporting women through unexpected pregnancies. She also shares her own family’s history with unplanned pregnancy and how her grandmother was raised believing that her biological mother was her sister. Erica explains how SHIFRA provides therapy, customized financial assistance, social services, and parenting support, and why many of the women who call are married mothers who already have children. Chavie talks about how Orthodox communities have become more open about infertility, sexual abuse, mental health, and the complexities of adoption, while unplanned pregnancy remains largely hidden. Chavie and Erica discuss the differences between Jewish and Christian approaches to abortion, why Erica keeps SHIFRA outside the pro-life/pro-choice binary, and how the organization continues supporting women even when they ultimately decide to end their pregnancies. Erica explains that her focus is always on what the mother needs. Rather than asking whether it is the right time to have a child, she asks what a woman would need to continue her pregnancy.

About Erica

Erica Pelman is the founder & CEO of SHIFRA. Prior to creating SHIFRA, she worked at the U.S. Department of Labor for seven years on Faith-Based and Community Initiatives and workforce development programs. She is a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and lives in Rockville, Maryland with her husband and their four children. She grew up in Austin, Texas.

This Week's Prompt

What Did You Have to Unlearn About Parenting?

Stay to the end of the episode for listener voice notes responding to this week’s prompt.

Want to be featured in a future episode? Follow Chavie on Instagram for upcoming prompts, then send your voice note via WhatsApp to 406-600-4935.

Referenced on the Pod

• 2:35: Chavie’s interview with Liv Longin on The Brief
• 8:18: Article about the Bruk's adoption journey by Dr. Yvette Alt Miller on Aish.com
• 1:13:35: Lori Palatnik, co-founder and founding director of Momentum
• 1:29:56: Nissim Black, Orthodox Jewish rapper and musician

Stay in touch with Erica

• @call_shifra on Instagram
• If you or someone you love needs help: http://callshifra.org/start-here
• If you would like to help others: http://callshifra.org/donate

Stay in touch with Chavie

• @chaviebruk on Instagram
• http://www.totallyunexpected.blog
• Totally Unexpected! on YouTube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Parenting educator Blimie Heller joins Chavie to discuss growing up in Toronto, reading parenting books as a child, and how her oldest daughter’s refusal to comply forced her to reconsider what a parent’s role should be. Blimie and Chavie talk about setting limits without relying on punishment, why teenagers expose the illusion of parental control, and Blimie’s shift from advocating primarily for children to extending the same compassion to parents. Chavie shares a difficult morning with her teenage son, and Blimie uses Nonviolent Communication to explore what each of them needed in that moment. They close by asking whether successful parenting means raising children who comply or maintaining a strong relationship with them through conflict.

About Blimie
Blimie Heller is a parenting educator, coach, and the creator of the Relational Alignment Model™. She helps parents build relationships with their children based on respect and trust while navigating boundaries, conflict, and challenging behavior. Her work gives parents practical tools for moving away from control and toward connection, communication, and cooperation.

This Week's Prompt
Our listener prompt and voice notes took a short break for the holidays. We’ll resume next episode!

Referenced On the Pod

• 27:34:How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
• 27:39:Children Are from Heaven by John Gray
• 37:34:Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff
• 46:40:Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
• 1:03:54:Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg
• 1:08:59:Yoram Mosenzon, Blimie’s teacher and major influence
• 1:18:45:GROK Empathy Cards, created by Christine King & Jean Morrison
• 1:40:21:The Journey of the Heroic Parent by Brad M. Reedy, PhD

Stay in touch with Blimie
http://www.blimieheller.com/
@unconditional_parentingon Instagram

Stay in touch with Chavie
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on YouTube

This episode is sponsored by an anonymous listener whose generous contribution covered a month of podcast production. Thank you for believing in Totally Unexpected! and helping the podcast continue to grow.

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Rabbi David Aaron tells Chavie about growing up in Toronto hearing his Holocaust-survivor mother scream in her sleep, and questioning how G-d could be good amid so much suffering. He describes feeling the “oy” rather than the joy of being Jewish and using rock and roll and comedy to drown out those questions, before discovering NCSY, Shabbos with friends, Chabad, and finally going to a yeshiva in Jerusalem. Rabbi Aaron shares how he discovered Kabbalah at a young age which unlocked for the "science" for how Judaism works. He also shared how a near-stranger insisted she knew his soulmate, despite the cultural and language differences between him and Chana; after an awkward first date, they tried again and have been married for 42 years. Chavie returns to the childhood pain that shaped his work, opening a conversation about Judaism’s “branding problem” and Chana’s insight during labor that “pain with purpose is power.”

Rabbi David Aaron is a renowned educator, author, and Rosh Yeshiva of Orayta in the Old City of Jerusalem. He is the author of several influential books, including The Secret Life of God, Seeing God, Living a Joyous Life, and Soul Powered Prayers. His teachings focus on the deeper foundations of emunah, tefillah, and personal growth, making profound Torah ideas clear, practical, and deeply relevant.

This Week's Prompt
There is no prompt this episode and next due to the holidays but we will resume right after!

Listen to voice notes from listeners at the end of every episode with their personal stories and reflections on a given prompt.

Referenced On the Pod

• 29:20 Night by Elie Weisel
• 23:30 Chavie’s grandfather, Dr. Yitzchok Block
• 45:15 Rabbi Noah Weinberg, founder of Aish HaTorah
• 52:27 The Road Less Traveled by Dr. M. Scott Peck
• Further Along the Road Less Traveled by Dr. M. Scott Peck
• 1:12:36 “The Pangs of Cleansing” by Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook

Stay in touch with David Aaron

https://rabbidavidaaron.com/

https://www.instagram.com/davidaaron613/

https://www.youtube.com/@RabbiDavidAaron

Stay in touch with Chavie
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

This episode is dedicated to the loving memory of Rabbi David Aaron’s beloved granddaughter, Nechalya, who tragically lost her life in a car accident while traveling as a passenger a few months ago.

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Shevach tells Chavie about growing up in Miami Beach as the youngest of seven, sometimes feeling like an only child, but later recognizing the freedom and attention he received as the youngest. He and Chavie compare that with her experience as the oldest of nine, and Chavie describes the many ways her son feels different: the only boy among four sisters, Black, adopted, and the only Jewish child in his class. Shevach talks about validating the pain of feeling alone before trying to help a child see what makes them unique. He then tells Chavie about a broken engagement which showed him how little he trusted his own voice and led him to start separating personality from dysfunction. They move into the overlooked “easy” child and Shevach’s belief that trauma leaves a mark even when someone appears resilient. Shevach shares how his young nephew drowned in the family pool when Shevach was seven, and how that grief resurfaced years later when he panicked over an unlocked balcony door near his own son. Shevach traces his path from hiding a guitar inside his yeshiva mattress and starting a Chassidic rock band to studying psychology, developing sports social work, and creating the WISE Parenting Method. Chavie asks what his approach looks like for parents. They close on the uncomfortable reality that parents and children are not always naturally compatible, but does not mean you do not love them.

Shevach Tamir LCSW, Parenting and Trauma Therapist, is a seasoned clinician with over a decade of experience supporting individuals, parents, and families within the Jewish community. He specializes in parenting therapy, family therapy, and trauma-informed care. Shevach is deeply committed to empowering parents, helping them feel confident, understood, and supported in their role, because parents matter too. His approach is warm, respectful, and grounded in a culturally sensitive, Torah-aligned perspective, creating a space where parents feel safe, seen, and supported as they navigate growth and healing.

This Week's Prompt
Tell Me One Thing You Feel Astrology Gets Right About Your Personality

Listen to voice notes from listeners at the end of every episode with their personal stories and reflections on a given prompt.

Referenced On the Pod

• 2:29 Aura Rosenblatt' podcast Divine Detour
• 15:09 The Billion Dollar Secret, Rafael Badziag

Stay in touch with Shevach
@wiseparenting_official on Instagram

https://www.onthebeachcounseling.com/parenting-therapy/

Book a Free 15 Minute Initial Consultation

https://calendly.com/onthebeachcounseling/initial-consult

Join Wise Parenting Hub - WhatsApp Group

Send an email with your name and number to Hello@WiseParentingMethod.com

Light of Shneur Initiative - Almost Free Parenting Therapy

Hello@BetterParentingTherapy.com

Stay in touch with Chavie
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Naomi starts off by telling Chavie how she became an artist, why she was drawn to Hebrew letters, and how studying Jewish mysticism eventually led her into astrology. She explains why she considers herself a student of astrology rather than an astrologer. Chavie asks Naomi to break down the basics, including sun, moon, and rising signs, and because the interview happens to fall on Chavie’s birthday, Naomi uses her chart to do a full live reading. Along the way, Naomi shares her view that astrology was taken from us as part of our disconnection from God and nature, while Chavie explains why she sees a birth chart as a handbook from Hashem that can help people understand their strengths, struggles, and what they are here to do. Chavie asks how astrology fits with the Jewish belief in free will, and Naomi explains the difference between having a mazal and having a fixed destiny. They end with Chavie asking Naomi for her favorite and worst thing about each of the twelve signs.

Naomi Salfati is a Hebrew letter artist and the founder of AstroTorah, where she bridges Kabbalah, astrology, and psychology to help people better understand themselves and their life's purpose.

This Week's Prompt
Tell me about something you’re scared to do and what’s holding you back?

Listen to voice notes from listeners at the end of every episode with their personal stories on a given prompt.

Referenced On the Pod

• 11:42:00 Mendel Zirkind’s interview with Chavie
• 1:18:35 find your chart on Astro.com

Stay in touch with Naomi!
http://instagram.com/astrotorahhttp://www.astrotorah.com
Book a reading with Naomi here:
https://astro-torah.as.me/schedule/56d76640

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Dena Schusterman tells Chavie about growing up on shlichus, first in Berkeley and then Albuquerque, where her childhood was filled with skiing, wide-open landscapes, and saying the Twelve Pesukim into the New Mexico canyons. When her older sister struggled after being sent away for school, Dena’s parents made the difficult decision to leave shlichus and move their family to Los Angeles, where nine-year-old Dena felt like “Moshiach came” when she discovered kosher restaurants, friends, and an actual frum community. Years later, Dena would find herself wrestling with the same question of when to leave and when to stay: she and her husband planned to move to Russia, tried unsuccessfully to find shlichus in California, and eventually landed in Atlanta, where they chose to remain even when leaving became a real possibility. She and Chavie talk about the courage required to make a choice and own it, and Dena pushes back on the polished image of Shluchos as superwomen who are always saving everyone else, asking, “Who’s saving us?” and arguing that Chabad’s success should not come at the expense of acknowledging the real struggles, doubts, and humanity of the people doing the work. That same refusal to sanitize the story became central to Dena’s new memoir, Stories Carry. She originally wanted to preserve her father’s stories after hearing one of them told publicly without his name because he was no longer a Shliach, but quickly discovered that she couldn’t tell his story without telling her own. Dena shares how the eight-year writing process forced her to stop sermonizing, trust the reader, and become more emotionally vulnerable, including reckoning with the emotional repression she inherited from her Holocaust-survivor grandparents. She and Chavie also talk about Dena’s decision not to write a hagiography, the difference between loving something and pretending it is perfect, and why telling the truth about the people and world that shaped her ultimately became an expression of love rather than a departure from it.

Dena Schusterman founded Chabad Intown in Atlanta, where she has built a thriving community as an educator, preschool director, and teacher. She writes about parenting and applied Torah thought for publications including Kveller, Chabad.org, Groknation, Ami Magazine and the Atlanta Jewish Times. A mother of eight and native Californian, she and her husband Rabbi Eliyahu Schusterman have called Atlanta home for twenty years. Stories Carry is her debut memoir.

This Week's Prompt
Tell me about a religious practice that you realized was driven by fear or anxiety?

Listen to voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and reactions on a given prompt at the end of every episode.

Referenced On the Pod

• 1:07:32 Rabbi YY Jacobson’s Weekly Women’s Class
• 1:10:40 Dena’s ELI Talk
• 1:14:09 Chabad.org article about Dena’s father
• 1:38:26 The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese
• 2:00:32 Paulo Coelho

Stay in touch with Dena!
https://www.denaschusterman.com/

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Julia Makowsky grew up in Los Angeles with baal teshuvah parents who became increasingly passionate about Torah as she was growing up, while Julia often felt that she was simply along for the ride. Although she had an innate spiritual connection from a young age, she struggled to make Judaism feel like her own. By the time she had her third child, she had taken on more and more religious practices out of fear, believing that if she did not daven enough or observe everything perfectly, Hashem might punish her or take away her children. When her rabbi finally told her, “That is not Torah. That is anxiety,” Julia began breaking down the way she had been practicing and rebuilding a relationship with God that felt personal, chosen, and peaceful. She and Chavie talk about what it means to find your own religious baseline, why other people’s standards can pull us away from our own values, and how Chavie’s baseline in raising five adopted children is always attachment and safety. Julia shares that she knew she wanted to become a therapist from the time she was eight years old because of how deeply she felt other people’s emotions. She opens up about growing up as an empath, the emotional scar tissue she developed after being hurt and abused, and what she later had to learn as a therapist about separating her clients’ feelings from her own and not helping them through the lens of her personal wounds. She then explains why she added coaching to her work, describing therapy as a space where the practitioner asks the questions that help a client arrive at their own answers, while coaching allows her to be more direct, identify concrete steps, and help someone move toward a specific outcome. Julia and Chavie talk about why both approaches matter, why coaching cannot replace the processing that sometimes needs to happen first, and why the right practitioner may look different for each person. They close by asking when healing becomes another form of avoidance, why constant self-reflection and optimization can leave us perpetually dissatisfied, and whether feeling calm, not endlessly striving, is a better sign that something in our lives is actually working.

Julia K. Makowsky is a licensed therapist, coach, speaker, content creator, and host of Tribe & Tribulations. Known for her honest, relatable, and compassionate approach, Julia blends professional expertise with real-life experience to explore mental health, relationships, identity, parenting, faith, and personal growth. Through her therapy practice, speaking engagements, social platforms, and podcast, she creates meaningful conversations that bridge communities, reduce stigma, and help people feel seen, understood, and empowered.

This Week's Prompt
CELEBRATING EPISODE 50! Which guests do you want to hear from in the voice note section?

These are the guests listeners said they want to hear from and have submitted voice notes: Chaim Bruk, Sara Miriam Smith, Sarah Immerman, Moshe Weinbaum, Shaina Wiess, Aura Rosenblatt, Brochie Spritzer

Referenced On the Pod

• 7:10 Tom Segura podcast
• 7:10 Tiger Belly podcast
• 8:05 Yitzhak Pinkesz, Author of Kosher Astrology on Julia’s podcast
• 8:55 Gedale Fenster
• 8:59 Charlie Harary
• 45:47 Chavie’s Tanya Class, Clearing the Mud
• Sara Miriam Smith's episode on Totally Unexpected!
• Moshe Weinbaum's episode on Totally Unexpected!
• Sarah Immerman's episode on Totally Unexpected!
• Shaina Wiess's episode on Totally Unexpected!
• Chaim Bruk's episode on Totally Unexpected!
• Brochie Spritzer's episode on Totally Unexpected!
• Aura Rosenblatt's episode on Totally Unexpected!

Stay in touch with Julia!
Julia on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jkmakowskyhttps://jkmakowsky.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@juliakmakowsky

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Sonia begins by telling Chavie about the memoir-writing class that unexpectedly became her book. Then, they trace her childhood, starting with her Jewish grandparents who fled Eastern Europe, her Christian Arab grandparents who left Ottoman-era Bethlehem, and how her parents met in Colombia and built a new life together. Growing up, Sonia repeatedly asked, “What are we?” Her parents wanted their children to choose their own beliefs, but their answer, “We are nothing” left her longing to belong. She walks Chavie through the beauty of her tropical childhood, the cartel violence that transformed Colombia, and the first time a conflict in the Middle East exposed the identities and loyalties her parents had tried to set aside. At 18, Sonia left for college in America, where she explored Middle Eastern history, Hebrew, Arabic, and the Judaism that ultimately became central to her adult life. Chavie and Sonia reflect on the foundations parents give their children, even when they try not to impose, and how writing allowed Sonia to see her parents and grandparents as flawed, complicated, deeply loved people. They end with her return to her childhood home, her mother’s willingness to be uncomfortable for the sake of the book, and the ethical line between telling your own story and telling someone else’s.

Sonia Daccarett, author of the newly released book, The Roots of the Guava Tree, is a writer and communications professional. Born in Colombia to a Christian Palestinian father and a Jewish mother, she moved to the United States and received an undergraduate degree in journalism from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and a master’s degree in international and public affairs from Columbia University. For more than two decades, she worked on strategic communications initiatives with corporate and non-profit clients and currently writes and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her family.

This Week's Prompt
How does antisemitism affect you? Does it make you want to be louder or go under the radar? No wrong answers!

This segment, at the end of every episode, features voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and hot takes on a given prompt.

Referenced On the Pod

1:47:43 Rebbetzin Miriam Lipsker of Chabad at Emory University viral video1:58:27 Chavie's blogpost, I Need a Minute, in reaction to the chanukah Bondi massacre

Stay in touch with Sonia!
http://www.soniadaccarett.com/Sonia on Instagram

Order The Roots of the Guava Tree Here

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Sorella shares what it was like to grow up in London as the eleventh of twelve children in a big, Chabad family, and how her school and community experiences were shaped by a mix of Holocaust survivors, Russian immigrants, and baalei teshuvahs. She shares how, at eleven years old, her childhood was abruptly changed when her 17-year-old sister Chayale passed away suddenly, and on the same day, her best friend, Dina’s younger sister, Malky, also passed away. Chavie asks what grief looked like in the home after that, and Sorella talks about how her sister was spoken about constantly, even if the tools for processing grief were different than they are today. Sorella then shares how those two losses connected their families forever and how Dina’s older brother, Aycee, eventually became her husband after years of friendship, chemistry, and trying to convince herself he was too familiar and safe. Chavie and Sorella trace her move to Sydney, where she and Aycee built a life on shlichus, and the transition from their established roles into founding Abraham’s Tent, an organization supporting Jewish patients and families in hospitals. The losses of both their mothers became a turning point for Sorella and Aycee, pushing them to question whether they were really living up to their potential and eventually leading them to start Abraham’s Tent. Sorella then walks Chavie through a play by play of the Chanukah attack at Bondi Beach, where their close friend Rabbi Eli Schlanger was killed, and what it was like to run with her children, search for the ones who weren’t with her, and then step into the aftermath as Abraham’s Tent became part of the response for the injured and their families. Chavie reflects on how grief keeps showing up differently as life moves forward. Chavie and Sorella talk about faith, anger, fear, purpose, and what it means to keep bringing light while still living with the questions.

Sorella Abrahams is a passionate community builder and Chabad Shlucha, born in the UK into a large Chabad family. From a young age she developed a deep love for people and a fascination with their stories and journeys. Together with her husband Rabbi Aycee, Sorella founded Abrahams Tent and The Soul Centre in Randwick, Sydney in 2022, creating spaces that support hospital patients and their families while nurturing community, wellbeing and spiritual growth. Through challenges in her own life, Sorella has learned to turn pain into purpose and madness into meaning, using her experiences to uplift and support others.

A devoted wife and mother of four, she is passionate about teaching women, building meaningful connections, creative writing, public speaking, and travelling G-D's magical world.

This Week's Prompt
Tell me about the time you forgave someone or asked someone for forgiveness!

This segment at the end of every episode features voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and hot takes on a given prompt.

Referenced On the Pod

• 43:36 Merkos Shlichus
• 45:56 Bikur Cholim London
• 57:46 Abrahams’s Tent Sydney
• 1:14:10 Sefirat HaOmer
• 1:17:43 Awarness By Miriam Adahan
• 2:30:02 Faith Niece interview with Sony Perlman
• 2:33:56 Shaindy Plotzker
• 2:34:07 Shalom for Charlotte

Stay in touch with Sorella!
sorella@abrahamstent.org.au
@sorellaellaella on Instagram

http://abrahamstent.org.au

http://supportsydney.org/Eli

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Yisroel tells Chavie about his childhood in Des Plaines, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, where he was raised by parents who were still in the process of becoming more observant. Yisroel opens up about having a stutter as a child, the first time he has ever shared this publicly. He reflects on how it shaped the way he learned to speak, pause, and communicate with intention. He talks about being perceived as a mainstream Chabad yeshiva boy while internally struggling with not fitting in, and how he eventually made the radical decision to leave the regular yeshiva track and spend a year in Tiferes, a yeshiva built for beginners in Morristown, NJ. He shares how that choice changed his relationship with Judaism, Hassidic teachings, and eventually his work as a rabbi. Chavie and Yisroel then trace his unexpected path to Montreal, where he established Chabad of NDG and began working with young Jewish professionals and became known as the “Love Rabbi,” leading to matchmaking and the documentary Kosher Love. Chavie asks what led him to write The Forgiveness Experiment, and Yisroel shares the Yom Kippur Facebook post that opened his eyes to how much resentment people quietly carry, especially toward those in leadership positions. They deep dive into what it’s like to feel wronged by G-d, and what it means to move from waiting to be rescued toward becoming a co-creator in your own life.

Rabbi Yisroel Bernath is the senior rabbi of Rohr Chabad NDG in Montreal and the voice behind a growing global audience online, where he shares heart-open reflections on relationships, healing, and purpose. Known for his honest and relatable style, he brings together Jewish wisdom, Kabbalah, and real-life experience to help people navigate love, pain, and personal growth. He is the author of The Forgiveness Experiment, a #1 Amazon bestseller that explores what life could look like if we truly let go. Through his writing, podcasts, and social media, Rabbi Bernath invites people into deeper, more meaningful conversations with themselves and with each other.

This Week's Prompt
Tell me about your fitness journey! Do you have a routine? How has your relationship with fitness evolved?

This NEW segment at the end of every episode features voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and hot takes on the given prompt.

Referenced On the Pod

• 00:1:29 Chavie’s blogpost about Zeesy health journey
• 27:55 Tiferes Bachurim - Rabbinical College of America
• 51:41 - Kosher Love Documentary
• 1:16:46 Steven Karpman - Karpman Drama Triangle
• 1:16:50 - Omer Pinto
• 1:22:49 - David Emerald
• 1:59:59 Chavie’s interview with Moshe Weinbaum
• 2:01:05 - Chavie’s blogpost about her fitness journey
• 2:13:25 Walk At Home - at home workout subscription
• 2:19:07 Jazzercize

Stay in touch with Yisroel!

http://www.theloverabbi.com/

rabbi@jewishndg.com

@montrealrabbi on Instagram

@myrabbi Facebook

http://www.forgivenessbook.org/

The Forgiveness Experiment - Paperback

The Forgiveness Experiment - Kindle

The Forgiveness Experiment Audiobook

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Chavie and Paola open by reminiscing about how they first connected when Paola walked into Chabad of Bozeman for a Passover seder 18 years ago and instantly felt at home. Paola talks about her childhood as a first generation American, the daughter of two physicists, a Holocaust survivor father who fled to Israel before eventually founding the physics department at UCSD, and what it was like growing up in a home where intellect was everything. Paola shares how she struggled with depression as a teenager and found her way through nature and eventually yoga, which became the spirituality she hadn't known she was looking for. Chavie asks Paola to go deep on what yoga actually is beyond the physical poses, and they talk about breath, what it means to really be in your body, and Chavie opens up about her own struggles connecting to her breath. Paola then walks through three defining moments of grief and loss in her life and how each one eventually led her to Ayurveda, which has now become a central part of how she works with clients. Chavie asks Paola to use her as a live case study, and Paola maps out Chavie's Ayurvedic constitution right there in the episode.

Paola Feher holds a Master’s in Biomechanics and a Master’s in Ayurveda. She is a massage therapist and yoga therapist who started her own practice in 1997, working with chronic pain, injury rehabilitation, and injury prevention. When she is not working, Paola loves to be outside. She has an extensive garden where she grows her own fruits and vegetables in the summer and preserves them for the winter. She also loves ice climbing, skiing, mountain biking, hiking, climbing peaks, swimming, running, and practicing yoga. She shares her life with two kitties, her partner, and close friends and family she adores.

This Week's Prompt

Did You Ever Experience Burnout and What Did That Feel Like?

This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt!

Referenced On the Pod

• 37:11 T. K. V. Desikachar
• 1:59:52 Hunt Gather Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff

Stay in touch with Paola!

http://www.bozemanhealingarts.com/

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Aimee opens up to Chavie about her childhood in Lakewood, where her Holocaust survivor grandparents had a chicken farm. She shares how she became religious and didn’t go to prom because it was on a Friday night. Aimee talks about her path through medicine, and the fertility journey that changed her life: four miscarriages in a row and the miracle twins who were born after. Aimee shares how she founded I Was Supposed To Have A Baby and explains why success isn’t always about having a baby. Aimee and Chavie talk about burnout, what happens when holding everyone else’s pain catches up with you, and how sometimes the work is learning to live with what is unfinished.

Aimee Baron, MD, FAAP, is the founder and executive director of I Was Supposed to Have a Baby (IWSTHAB), an organization transforming how the Jewish community cares for people navigating fertility struggles and loss. After years of secondary infertility and multiple pregnancy losses, Dr. Baron became deeply aware of the need for better emotional, communal, and practical support for those trying to build a family. IWSTHAB provides mental health support, educational resources, digital programming, communal spaces, and connections to wider support networks for people experiencing infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, termination for medical reasons, donor conception, adoption, surrogacy, and more. Dr. Baron is passionate about creating community where people in pain feel validated, comforted, and held, and where those around them know how to show up with care. She previously served as Director of Innovation and Growth at NechamaComfort and worked as an attending pediatrician in the newborn nursery and neonatal intensive care unit at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital. She lives in the New York area with her husband and children.

This Week's Prompt

Are You a Home Birth Mama or Only In the Hospital Mama?

This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt!

Referenced On the Pod

• 20:58 NCSY
• 32:53 Chabad of Binghamton
• 32:57 Rivkah Slonim Interview on Totally Unexpected!
• 36:35 Chabad of Harvard - Rabbi Hirschy & Elkie Zarchi
• 38:35 Chabad at Syracuse - Rabbi Yaakov & Chanie Rapoport
• 1:20:17 Nechama Comfort - Reva Judas, Founder & Director
• 1:24:15 ATIME
• 1:24:15 Bonei Olam
• 1:24:15 PUAH
• 1:24:15 Knafayim
• 2:27:14 Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• 2:28:09 Aura Rosenblatt interview on Totally Unexpected!

Stay in touch with Aimee!

• https://iwassupposedtohaveababy.org/
• IWSTHAB Resource Library & Support Groups
• @iwassupposedtohaveababy on Instagram
• Talking Away The Taboo Podcast
• LinkedIn

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Chavie sits down with Dassi, who starts out by sharing how she was born in Iran in the middle of the Iran-Iraq war, where her mother delivered her by emergency C-section during a blackout. Dassi talks about her family's escape from Iran, her grandparents being smuggled out through the Baluchi mountains, and how her parents left behind everything they had built to start over in America with nothing. Dassi shares what it was like growing up as a Persian Jew in New Jersey, caught between two cultures, never fully belonging to either, and how that sense of not fitting in eventually led her on a spiritual quest exploring Kabbalah and Chassidus.Chavie asks about Dassi's years working as a doula and hypnobirthing educator before she was even married, attending hundreds of births and co-founding the Boston Doula Circle, and what it was like to witness so much life coming into the world before navigating her own fertility journey. Dassi opens up about six years of infertility, the pregnancy with her second daughter, and how that collided with the unraveling of her marriage. Chavie and Dassi talk about IFS therapy, energy work, and learning how to heal by listening to the body.

Dassi Zar is a mom of two, the founder of The Resilient Minded Mom, and an IFS-informed coach who helps women navigate life with clarity and self-trust. A former Shlucha in Lower Manhattan, as well as a Yoga and Pilates instructor, she brings both depth and lived experience to her work. She is also the owner of The 50FF Wig, a business rooted in confidence and accessibility. Having moved through her own seasons of challenge and growth, Dassi is deeply committed to authenticity, truth-seeking, and ultimately helping women come home to themselves.

This Week's Prompt

Jewish Books vs Non Jewish Books - Where Do You Draw the Line?

This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt!

Referenced On the Pod

15:46 HIAS Org (Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society) https://hias.org/

21:10 The Ben Ish Chai https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yosef_Hayyim

37:33 Machon Chana https://www.machonchana.org/

47:53 Moshe weinbaum ep https://open.spotify.com/episode/02tJfMvr9wlnI5tDfZ49Fc?si=wXFBiu-NTHGo_Q1dZJukqw

1:21:00 IFS: Internal Family Systems https://ifs-institute.com/

1:26:25 Eckhart Tolle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_Tolle

Stay in touch with Dassi!

@bowerymama on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bowerymama/

@the50ffwig on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the50ffwig/

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Chavie sits down with her long-distance book buddy Elin for a special episode where they review their book buddy picks but first, Elin shares what it was like growing up in Sweden, the extreme swings between dark winters and sun-filled summers, the way catching sunlight becomes a cultural priority, and how hygge isn't just a trend there but a way of survival. Elin talks about the meet-cute way she and her husband had at Ascent in Tzfat and how they ended up living and working in Kenya at the height of the HIV crisis. Chavie asks about what parenting looked like while living abroad and moving back and forth between countries. Elin talks about the devastating loss of her brother-in-law and his wife, how her niece became a permanent member of their family, and the foster care advocacy work that she is now involved with. In the second half of this conversation, Chavie and Elin go through their book buddy picks, what they loved and what they didn’t, and how reading the same books and talking about them ends up being a way of getting to know someone more deeply than you normally would.

Elin Cohen grew up in Stockholm, Sweden, and lives with her family in San Francisco, California. She holds a JSD (PhD in Law) from Stanford University and works in international economic development, supporting the design and implementation of U.S. government foreign assistance programs. She very much enjoys being at home in beautiful San Francisco with her family and friends, and she also feels fortunate to travel extensively for work, to visit family, and for fun and adventures. Elin is a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer for youth in foster care and she is also an avid reader. She and Chavie are book buddies and frequently chat about the books they are reading together, as well as the many reflections those books spark in relation to their own lives, experiences and perspectives.

This Week's Prompt

Bar Mitzvah Culture Is Out of Hand: Yes or No?

This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt!

Referenced On the Pod

• 30:46 – Ascent Institute
• 1:09:19 – National CASA Program

A full list of Chavie and Elin’s book buddy picks, along with the book podcasts mentioned will be available on www.totallyunexpected.blog.

Stay in touch with Elin!

@elin.cohen on Instagram

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

In this episode, Chavie sits down with her producer, Elie Benhiyoun, to break down what a day in the life of Chavie Bruk looks like. She walks through a recent Friday, from the moment she wakes up already feeling overwhelmed to the moment she gets into bed with a book after the last Shabbos guest leaves. She opens up about her morning routine, and how she has learned over the years to protect the things that keep her going, including exercise, a proper lunch, and therapy, even on the busiest days. Chavie breaks down her post-treadmill protein shake situation, her gluten-free bagel with lox that she somehow managed to sit down for in the middle of cooking for 70 people, and the secret hummus recipe that has become a staple of her Shabbos table. She shares what came up in her therapy session that Friday, tracing her discomfort with pressure and overwhelm back to her childhood as the oldest sibling on Shlichus. She then walks through the hours of cooking for 70 Shabbos guests, the constant interruptions, the mikvah construction happening steps from her house, and how she designs her schedule to avoid coming into Shabbos frazzled. Chavie also talks about what Friday night actually looks like, the women gathering in the kitchen before the meal, the dynamic she and her husband, Rabbi Chaim Bruk, have built at the Shabbos table, and which books she reaches for once the guests are finally gone.

This interview was published in written format for a collaboration with Valour Magazine. You can find the full interview in print format here: https://valourlifestyle.co.uk

Referenced On the Pod

• 3:16 Valour Magazine
• 23:42: Busy In Brooklyn

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blogTotally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Chavie sits down with Rivkah Slonim — author, lecturer, and self-described Chassidic feminist — and walks through her childhood growing up in Crown Heights in close proximity to the Rebbe and Rebbetzin, with grandparents rooted in the illustrious Kapichnitz Chassidic dynasty. Rivkah shares how she came to coin the term "Chassidic feminist" and traces it back to her early years at Chabad of Binghamton, where she was confronted with the widespread assumption that Chassidic women are oppressed, and found herself doing the research to answer questions she had never quite asked before. Chavie brings the hard questions she has collected from her community and her own life about women's place in Jewish law and tradition — including mikvah, taharat hamishpacha, and halacha's relationship with female equality. They then dig into what it means to build a community and raise a family on Shlichus, and whether self-care is a modern invention or just an age-old value with a new name. Rivkah also shares how she came to author her most recent book, Holy Intimacy — which brings the conversation about women's pleasure and Jewish marriage into the open for the first time.

Rivkah Slonim is the Associate Director of the Rohr Chabad Center for Jewish Student Life at Binghamton University, which she co-founded with her husband, Rabbi Aaron Slonim, in 1985. A self-described Chassidic feminist, she is an internationally known lecturer and activist. She is the editor of Total Immersion: A Mikvah Anthology (Jason Aronson, 1996; Urim, 2006) and Bread and Fire: Jewish Women Find God in the Everyday, and co-author of Holy Intimacy: The Heart and Soul of Jewish Marriage with Sara Morozow. Slonim serves on the Editorial Board of the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute, sits on the executive boards of Tamim Academy and the Institute of Jewish Spirituality and Society, and is a senior lecturer at Bais Chanah Women International.

This Week's Prompt

What are your favorite Pesach hacks and tips?

This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic!

Referenced On the Pod

• 2:06:39 Chavie's blogpost on Substack about her Bubby

Links to Rivkah's books:

• Order Holy Intimacy on Amazon
• Order Total Immersion on Amazon
• Order Bread & Fire on Amazon

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blog
Totally Unexpected! on Youtube

This episode is dedicated in honor of my dear mother, Rivky Slonim, who inspires me daily. May she continue to inspire the world in good health for many more years! - Chani Levertov

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Chavie sits down with her husband, Rabbi Chaim Bruk, the podcast’s first returning guest, just ahead of their 20th anniversary. For the first time, they walk through their entire infertility and adoption journey from beginning to end. They revisit the moment they received the excruciating diagnosis of permanent infertility and how they charted their own path in a world where infertility and adoption was still taboo, and their decision to go public when the expectation was to keep these struggles hush-hush. They walk through each of the five adoptions and the unique challenges each of them faced: Chaya, their first baby, born a premie in Moscow, Russia; Menny, a Black child born in Maryland; Zeesy, and the discovery of her life-threatening rare metabolic disorder; how Shoshana joined the family as a pre-teen, and Chana Laya, their only child born in Montana, and the unique relationship they still maintain with her birth grandparents. As always, Chavie and Chaim tell their story with their iconic banter, drama, and humor.

Rabbi Chaim Bruk is the Co-CEO and spiritual leader of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana. He moved to Montana in 2007 with his wife Chavie, where they launched a renaissance of Jewish life across the state. They are raising their five children in Big Sky Country, where they enjoy nature daily. Chaim loves teaching Torah, writing about Judaism and current events, and has an obsession with kosher sushi.

This Week's Prompt

Is Falling In Love Overrated?

This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic!

Referenced On the Pod

• 2:32 Totally Unexpected! on Youtube
• 3:19 First Interview with Rabbi Chaim Bruk on Totally Unexpected!
• 17:05 Bonei Olam Financial Assistance for Infertility Treatment
• 1:57:07 Interview with Shoshana Bruk on Totally Unexpected!

Stay in touch with Rabbi Chaim!

https://www.jewishmontana.com

https://www.instagram.com/chabadmontana/

X @MontanaJew

Weekly Torah Class on Youtube

Montana's Jewish Voice

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagramhttp://www.totallyunexpected.blog
Totally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Chavie and Anna begin with Anna’s roots in Toronto and what drew her toward becoming more religious in high school, navigating the tension between the world she grew up in and the one she was choosing. Anna opens up about her first two marriages and what it felt like to be a young divorced woman in a community where it was taboo and kept hush-hush which leads to Chavie and Anna reflecting on the progress made in removing shame around taboo subjects. Anna then shares how she met and fell in love with her current husband, and Chavie asks how she learned to trust herself again after so much trauma. Anna talks about becoming a therapist, how lived experience shaped her empathy, and then walks through the moment a mass was discovered in her brain. Chavie and Anna go step by step through the days leading up to surgery, the spiritual serenity she felt going in, and the recovery she is still navigating today.

Anna Sherman is a Registered Psychotherapist, dedicated wife, mother of twin girls, and stroke survivor who underwent brain surgery. She works with individuals, couples, and families, helping her clients heal from trauma, fears, and emotional blocks. Anna lives in her hometown of Toronto, Canada.

This Week's Prompt
Are two hour podcasts too long?
This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic!

Referenced On the Pod

• 38:20 The Jeff Seidel Foundation
• 41:39 Yeshivas Bircas Hatorah

Therapy Modalities Chavie & Anna Reference:

• EFT: Emotionally Focused Therapy
• EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
• IFS: Internal Family Systems

Stay in touch with Anna!

• http://www.annashermanrp.com
• Anna on Instagram

Stay in touch with Chavie!

@chaviebruk on Instagram

http://www.totallyunexpected.blog

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Chavie starts off by diving into Mushky’s early relationship with creativity. She talks about her mother noticing her artistic tendencies and her love of crafts being nurtured by her grandfather. Mushky shares how she came back from seminary and rediscovered the pull toward crafts, including when she realized if you can make something out of duct tape, you can make anything. Mushky explains how designing and wearing duct tape outfits became a form of safety, giving her structure and permission to perform and show up on camera. Mushky shares about her major lifequake moment, losing her job, having to leave Los Angeles, and the healing journey that followed. Chavie and Mushky talk about anger and how it rises as a sign of misalignment, and they also dive into podcasting and The Sisters Chat. Chavie talks about the different roles podcasts can play, and how she feels her role is to hold long-form conversations and resist the urge for quick content.

Mushky aka the Duct Tape Lady is the founder of On a Roll Crafts, an Instagram content creator, and the creative force behind beloved clay and tambourine kits used by Shluchos and Jewish organizations across the U.S. and beyond. A longtime educator turned craft creator and co-host of The Sisters Chat podcast, Mushky blends chinuch, creativity, and performance to make Yiddishkeit hands-on, joyful, and totally unexpected.

This Week's Prompt
Do kids get to choose their own values or do parents always decide?
This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their hot takes on a featured topic!

Referenced On the Pod

• 44:40min Kathy Heller’s podcast, Everything Is Energy
• 47:45 Camp Crate
• 49:17 Mushky on Tovido
• 49:21 Mushky’s YouTube channel
• 49:22 Mushky on Kosher.com
• 50:03 Michelle Moses
• 1:34:16 The Sister’s Chat podcast
• 2:18:31 Sara Miriam Smith on Totally Unexpected!

Stay in touch with Mushky!

• Mushky on Instagram
• http://Aloomacrafts.com
• The Sister's Chat
• Mushky's YouTube channel
• Info@onarollcrafts.com

Stay in touch with Chavie!

@chaviebruk on Instagram

http://www.totallyunexpected.blog

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out toChavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.