What would Brian Bevan say

Just how bad was Wire’s performance at Old Trafford? Strap in, because Rob still hasn’t quite calmed down, Sam hasn’t got a caveat left to offer and Dennis has pretty much lost the will to pod.

Will Warrington win at Old Trafford and finally bring the podcast to an end? There’s every chance this really could be the last-ever broadcast. So download Sam dissecting that win at Leeds, Dennis snuffing out the past and Rob squeezing in one Skyrack anecdote too many. It’s been eight years, 194 episodes. Could this really be goodbye? Enjoy

Warrington’s brilliant performance puts them one game away from Old Trafford, so with the podcast in Oktoberfest high spirits, Sam bags himself another Simon, Dennis whistles to the tune of the referees and Rob’s plant-based buffet on an atoll leads to him questioning why Leon Hayes is only 19 centimetres higher than a buffering BBC presenter’s grassy knoll.

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With Wire looking destined to finish third, the podcast questions is their final league fixture a game Tou-lose? Dennis is well and truly pissed after a 12-hour vineyard bike ride, Sam’s goes in search of leadership and Rob senses he's on the verge of being divorced by his fourth wife. Plus, Daniel returns with his goodbyes and the sitcom has a dishy day out. Enjoy.

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Three wins in nine days, although, more importantly, has Sam Sankey bought his villa in France? The podcast returns in a positive mood — but will it be tarnished by talk of ADHD, sex workers, Rolf Harris and a tackle-gagging enlargement? Plus, we head to Edinburgh for the Fringe, in search of a hairy sporran. Enjoy.

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Yes, following two 40-plus wins against two shit teams, the podcast returns. So, has Dennis turned into Dustin Hoffman? Why does Rob have a blistered ball sack? And can Sam backwash his septic tank? Strap in for 90 minutes of utter bollocks as the podders conclude that yet another season will come down to just three games. Plus, the sitcom embraces Pride Week and there’s London’s all-time Wire XIII. Enjoy. http://www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Warrington click for 51 minutes, but Sam’s statistics confirm what many feared: that’s it for the season. Dennis feeds Karl Fitzpatrick’s end of season statements into the What WouldBevan translation generator, while Rob continues his quest to raise his core strength above mashed potato. Plus, Daniel is back with his number one in Wire's Top 30 Summer Rugby Countdown and George walks the boards at The Globe. Enjoy. http://www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Following, you know, the loss to Wigan, the podcast, you know, thinks it knows all the answers. Rob, you know, turns recruitment guru and decides he could probably do, you know, a better job himself. Sam compares, you know, the new NRL TV deal, you know, with Super League and somehow, you know, manages to relate it to his own, you know, cash flow. Dennis calls, you know, everyone’s bluff by taking, you know, a fresh look, you know, at how to, you know, improve the IMG points system. Plus, you know, Daniel, you know, returns with his Number Two, and the pod, you know, goes X-rated courtesy of, you know, a sticky League Express. So jump in the saddle, you know, as the sitcom pedals its way, you know, to the top of Hill Cliff on its virgin ride.
Enjoy. You know.

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After Warrington fail with their tricks at Magic Weekend, the podcasters’ focus starts to wander. However, Sam still manages to find some positives in his shitistics following a pep talk at Altrincham Market, Dennis goes in search of a new theme tune for Wire and Rob questions why the Dodgems have gone woke. Plus, Daniel returns with his number three, before the sitcom heads to the circus. Enjoy.

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As Warrington suffer humiliation in their defeat to Leeds, Rob flies off the handle. Was he right, or was it just because he forgot to have his massive morning shit before recording? Sam desperately tries to find a positive but comes up empty, though he does deliver real-time analysis of the game. Meanwhile, Dennis investigates crop circles, wondering if the gap in Burgess’ media training is just a pattern in the wheat. Daniel reveals his number four iall-time 30 Super League Wire player and to mellow us all out, we go rowing down the river. Enjoy!

Following Warrington’s impressive victory away at St Helens, the podcast returns in buoyant mood. Sam delves into the numbers behind Warrington’s homegrown talent, while Dennis battles both his glasses and an increasingly questionable Robin Day impression. Meanwhile, Rob investigates the curious world of knighthoods and uncovers some surprising statistics behind those who have knelt before the sword. Plus, Daniel delivers number Five and the sitcom catches World Cup fever. Enjoy.

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With very little to get enthusiastic about in Warrington's laborious win over Dull, the podcast turns to percentages. Sam has an incredible stat on Max Wood, questioning why on earth has he been dispatched on loan? Dennis acts out his tackle gags and is ever so excited about the FIFA World Cup, while Rob questions why he’s desperately short of the national UK intercourse longevity average. Plus, Daniel stretches out his Top 30 and we all relax at a health retreat, again. Enjoy.

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As Warrington beat Bradford on a scorching afternoon, Dennis begins exploring alternative drinking venues for the Magic Weekend, Sam feels the radiation from a nuclear power station and Rob’s reactor reacts to absolutely nothing following a blissful 5-star holiday in tropical North Queensland. Plus, Daniel’s Top 10 returns despite there being no ordinary players and the sitcom is hit for six! Enjoy.

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Following a victory in France celebrated with a wine from a region 300 kilometres away, the podcast asks questions about Wire’s second half performances. Dennis scans an excellent idea, Sam secures his first commission and Rob quizckly lands a big fish. Plus, Daniel’s countdown enters the top ten and there’s a challenging workshop over at the sitcom. Enjoy… and hey, become a patron.

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Following Wire’s exit from the Challenge Cup, the podcast turns to physics with an equation of mass over density. Dennis returns from a trip to a 24ft chalky shaft, Sam serves up chicken and one-and-a-half portions of Laydell soup and Rob reveals he has absolutely no core strength whatsoever amd has his rant edited out of the episode. Plus, is Tyrone May the answer to the Captain’s Challenge? Daniel goes from 3 to 2 in a desperate attempt to stretch out his soundbites and over at the sitcom, we’re off to the job centre. Enjoy.

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As Wire mastermind a victory over the pie eaters, the podcast takes a closer look at whether Warrington’s pegs are in the correct order. With Mrs Sankey away, Sam finally finds time for a decent shitistic and looks set to be podcast employee of the week, before his betting scam. Dennis couldn’t care less about the international game and tells a gruesome story about a matador, while Rob suffers an injury on a B&Q equivalent travelator, before looking at the letters behind Daniel’s player countdown. Plus, the sitcom ends up with green fingers. Enjoy.

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With Sidekick Steve’s move to Hull now confirmed, we ask the question Stuart Pyke forgot to ask… has his effect on the team already worn off? Meanwhile, Dennis becomes a granddad, Sam pauses longer than a captain’s challenge and Rob would prefer it up the arse than a poke in the eye. Plus, there’s a Tony Meo colour clash, a close encounter of the HJ kind and Daniel continues his player countdown from 30 to 1. Enjoy.

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Time to review not one, not two, but three Warrington matches. Yes.... the podcast returns following its Easter break, with Dennis saving fuel but still touching a UFO, Sam actually enjoying a game & due to sobriety, pays Fitzy a compliment and Rob reminisces about an AIDS scare in Croatia whilst courting Elaine from Doncaster. Plus, Daniel’s back with his player countdown and the sitcom, thanks to some excellent script writing, lives on, despite nearly being cancelled. Enjoy.

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It’s four from four… so has there ever been a more positive year of What Would Brian Bevan Say podcast podding? Yes, sit back and relax in the company of Sam’s completely made-up but confident shitistics, Dennis’ techno tackle gags and Rob’s micro penis. Plus, there’s a crucifixion on the sitcom and Daniel returns with more of his player countdown. Enjoy. http://www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Will you have the attrition to make it through the episode? Yes a new low, even by WhatBevan standards. Firstly Sam’s shitistics come with no numbers whatsoever, then Dennis flogs tenuous film star gags and finally Rob takes the lead at Crufts. Enjoy.... oh and become a patron at http://www.patreon.com/whatbevan