With You in the Weeds: Where Faith Meets Mental Health

Your inner critic may promise to help you do better, but what if it’s keeping you stuck in shame and insecurity instead?

In this poignant episode of our groundbreaking series, Uncovering Your Hidden Motives, Austin Conner, LPC, sits down with fellow pastor Addison Hawkins to explore where our inner critic comes from, what it’s trying to accomplish, and why its approach often does more harm than good.

You’ll discover how to distinguish the Holy Spirit’s conviction from the inner critic’s condemnation— an important distinction that can help you respond to your shortcomings with honesty and grace instead of shame and self-punishment.

You’ll also learn how to recognize the patterns of self-criticism in your own life, identify the situations that trigger that critical voice, and understand what it may be trying to protect you from. Finally, you’ll explore how past wounds and painful memories can shape the way you talk to yourself today—and how that critical voice can affect your relationships, priorities, and sense of worth.

They’ll leave you with several practical steps you can take, including journaling, reflection, and seeking help from a safe person who can hear your story as you follow the memories and emotions underneath that critical voice. Listen in to start untangling those old patterns and connecting with the truth that you are deeply loved by God.

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What if you could stop chasing perfection without giving up on doing things well?

In the second half of our conversation on perfectionism, part of our ongoing series, Uncovering Your Hidden Motives, John Tinnin, MFT, and Lynn Roush, LPC, explore specific ways to quiet your inner critic, let go of unrealistic expectations, and learn to live with imperfection without feeling like a failure. They’ll teach you helpful techniques for each “root” of perfectionism so that you can live in freedom.

Overcoming perfectionism also means looking at the emotions underneath the surface, like shame, fear, and anxiety. In addition, you’ll learn how to broaden your sense of self-worth beyond achievement, let safe people see the real you, and put limits on your productivity so that it doesn’t control you.

We’ll also share practical tools for challenging all-or-nothing thinking, setting limits on over-preparation, and testing the fears that keep you clinging to control. The goal isn’t to stop caring or striving for excellence. It’s to stop letting the need to be perfect run your life. But lasting freedom from perfectionism also involves addressing the deeper question that keeps you striving: Am I enough?

From a Christian perspective, the answer isn’t found in performing better, hiding your weaknesses, or working harder to earn acceptance. It’s found in the grace of Jesus, who offers you an identity that doesn’t depend on getting everything right. Join us as we explore what it looks like to receive that grace, embrace imperfections, and find freedom in being loved just as you are.

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Do you ever feel like you’re only as good as your last mistake—or your last accomplishment?

Maybe you set high standards for yourself, work hard, and want to do things well. There’s nothing wrong with that. But when falling short makes you feel like you’re a failure as a person, you may have crossed the line. And the tricky part is that perfectionism doesn’t always look unhealthy. Sometimes it looks like responsibility, excellence, hard work, or even faithfulness.

In this enlightening episode of our ongoing series, Uncovering Your Hidden Motives, John Tinnin, MFT, and Lynn Roush, LPC, are going to talk about how to recognize the difference between healthy striving and toxic perfectionism. You’ll learn why two people can have the exact same standards and yet have completely different experiences. They’ll also dig into six places perfectionism can take root: parental influence, peer pressure, productivity, performance, power, and pride.

Some of these may be obvious, but others can be surprisingly hard to spot because they can look like good things. Working hard, being responsible, pursuing excellence, wanting to make a difference, and even trying to become a better version of yourself can all become unhealthy when they’re driven by fear, shame, comparison, or the need to prove yourself.

And underneath all of this is a bigger question: What if you didn’t have to earn your worth? We live in a world where things don’t go according to plan, where we make mistakes, and where we simply cannot control every outcome. But the gospel gives us a different way to live. In this conversation, we’ll begin uncovering the roots of perfectionism and consider what it looks like to live from God’s acceptance rather than constantly trying to perform for it.

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Have you ever wondered what it would look like to trust God with the parts of life you most want to manage?

In this helpful episode of our ongoing series, Uncovering Your Hidden Motives, Austin Conner, LPC, dives right into the weeds of control that may threaten to overtake you. He’ll explore what it means for you to become more flexible, practice humility, and make room for other people’s choices.

Rather than simply telling you to “let go”, Austin shares everyday examples of ways to be a good steward in four important areas: marriage, parenting, friendships, and work. He’ll explain what it looks like to share decisions, give others room to grow, and release responsibilities that you can’t—or shouldn’t—manage yourself. Then he’ll give you three practical steps for putting these ideas into practice.

Because changing your relationship with control isn’t natural or easy, this episode emphasizes the importance of inviting God into that process. Once you discover how trusting Jesus can help you face your fear and uncertainty, you’ll be able to take steps toward the freedom and faithfulness of a life lived in stewardship.

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What if your desire to be in control is telling you something about what’s happening underneath the surface?

We all want some level of control in our lives, but there’s a difference between healthy control and the kind that leaves us—and the people around us—hurting. In this candid episode of Uncovering Your Hidden Motives, John Tinnin, MFT, and Austin Conner, LPC, dig down into the roots of control to explore what happens when healthy responsibility crosses the line into something more destructive.

We’ll explore the two lands of stewardship (good control) and dictatorship (bad control) and look at the ways you can move from one to the other in marriage, parenting, friendships, work, money, health, and even the way you use your time. You may be surprised at the ways your desire for control shows up in everyday life!

But recognizing controlling behavior is only part of the picture. We’ll also help you look beneath the behavior to understand why you reach for control in the first place. We’ll explore three hidden motives that can pull you toward control and shape the way you respond when life feels uncertain.

If you’re ready to uncover the weeds that may have taken root beneath the surface, this episode will help you recognize the difference between the things God has actually given you responsibility for and the things you were never meant to control.

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Fear can take over your body before you even have time to think—so what can you actually do when it happens?

In our last episode, we looked at the roots of fear and how the fears you carry from the past can shape your reactions and decisions in the present. But understanding where fear comes from is the first part of the story. In the second half of our two-part conversation on fear from our new series, Uncovering Your Hidden Motives, Lynn Roush, LPC, and Austin Conner, PLPC, want to help you move into managing your fears rather than being controlled by them.

As therapists, we’ve spent a lot of time reading, studying, working with clients, and doing our own internal work around emotional regulation. We’ve discovered that a tangible, experiential sense of safety can help calm your nervous system and give you the space you need to respond rather than simply react. Helpful strategies for managing fear and finding safety include noticing and naming what’s happening in your body, breathing, grounding, and responding to the scared parts of yourself with compassion.

We’ll also talk about what to do after the fearful moment has passed: how to explore where your fear came from, develop a plan for future situations, find safety in relationships, and draw on the promises and wisdom of Scripture. We’ll even discuss therapeutic tools and the role of medication in managing overwhelming anxiety.

Most importantly, we’ll end where we always want to end—with Jesus. As you continue to take an honest look at your hidden motivations, he invites you to come with all your burdens, fears, and anxieties, and find rest in him.

Resources:

• Christian Meditation for a Bigger Life

• Altogether You: Experiencing personal and spiritual transformation with Internal Family Systems therapy

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What if some of the things you do to protect yourself are actually rooted in fear?

Fear is one of the most basic and powerful human emotions, but it can be surprisingly difficult to understand—especially when it shows up as anger, avoidance, control, anxiety, perfectionism, or even shame. In this first episode of our new series, Uncovering Your Hidden Motives, Lynn Roush, LPC, and Austin Conner, PLPC, go beneath the surface to explore where fear comes from and why it can have such a powerful influence on the way we live.

Fear isn’t simply a lack of faith or something you should be able to “think your way out of.” It’s an automatic alarm system designed to protect you when you perceive a threat. Sometimes your body can respond to something happening today as though you’re still living in an experience from years ago. Understanding that connection can bring compassion to reactions that you may have previously judged or felt ashamed of.

In this conversation, we’ll explain what happens in your brain and body when fear takes over, including the instinctive responses to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn. We’ll also explore how fear can shape the way you relate to other people and the ways you try to find safety and control. And because this is With You in the Weeds, we won’t stop with the psychology. We’ll also turn to Scripture to ask what God says about our fears—and what it means to bring those fears into his presence rather than facing them alone.

As we begin Uncovering Your Hidden Motives, our hope is that you’ll become more curious about what’s happening beneath your reactions instead of simply judging yourself for them. Let God meet you in the places where you feel afraid, and begin to experience something deeper than simply managing your fears: the security of being held by a loving God.

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What do you want people to remember when the performance is over?

In this stunning conclusion to our Performing Under Pressure series, Shay Roush, M.Div., sits down with none other than the Voice of the Tigers, Mike Kelly, to talk about his remarkable career behind the microphone. For more than three decades, Mike has stepped gracefully into high-pressure moments to give listeners a clear picture of the plays unfolding in front of him.

Along the way, he has called more than 1,000 Mizzou basketball broadcasts and hundreds of consecutive football games, earning the respect of fans and his fellow broadcasters. He talks candidly with Shay about not having all the answers, being kind to himself when he makes a mistake, and the importance of having people who will stay beside you when life gets hard.

His story also reveals the people and relationships behind a remarkable career—from mentors who opened doors and taught him the craft to coaches, players, families, and friends. You might be surprised that behind the polished calls, Mike still gets a little nervous before a game. But he believes that nervous energy is evidence that you care deeply about the opportunity in front of you.

Throughout this series, we’ve heard from real people who handle pressure not by avoiding hard moments, but learning how to move through them. Whatever your calling, your challenges, or the pressures you carry, we hope these stories encourage you to use the gifts you’ve been given and become the person you’re capable of becoming. In the end, your legacy isn’t about professional accomplishments, awards, and acclaim—it’s about the way you love God and the people around you.

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What if winning has less to do with what you accomplish and more to do with who you become?

In this spirited episode of Performing Under Pressure, Lynn Roush, LPC, sits down with Ella Swindle, a senior setter for the University of Texas Longhorns volleyball team who helped lead her team to an NCAA National Championship as a freshman. As a setter, Ella occupies one of the most demanding positions on the court: she calls the plays, directs the offense, and has to reset quickly after every point. But some of the most significant pressure she’s faced hasn’t come from the volleyball court at all.

For Ella, college athletics has become a place where questions of performance, identity, expectations, and faith collide. She opens up to Lynn about the internal voices that tell her she’s not enough, and the hard work of learning to distinguish truth from lies. Along the way, she has discovered the importance of silence, stepping away from social media, and becoming her own biggest cheerleader.

At the heart of Ella’s story is a growing confidence that her identity isn’t ultimately determined by a scoreboard, a coach, a career, or other people’s expectations. As she looks beyond volleyball towards her future, she’s beginning to define success not simply by what she achieves, but by the kind of person she becomes. In a world constantly telling us who we should be, Ella has discovered something freeing: it’s kinda chic to be you.

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What if the pressure to succeed in business is actually an invitation to become a different kind of leader? While it’s tempting to think you’ve got it made once you reach the top, the most effective leaders never stop growing. They continue to seek out wise mentors, invest in supportive communities, and bring their struggles into the light rather than trying to manage everything on their own.

In this eye-opening episode of Performing Under Pressure, Austin Conner, PLPC, sits down with Clint Guier, an executive leader who has spent more than two decades with the same company. Clint’s journey from a farm kid in small-town Missouri to the executive vice president of a rapidly growing organization offers a window into the everyday realities of leadership: making decisions that affect hundreds of people, navigating growth and risk, knowing when to delegate, and learning from the people who have gone before him.

But this conversation goes beyond strategies for succeeding in the business world. Clint reflects honestly on the ways pressure has shaped him over the years, including the temptation to seek approval, the cost of carrying stress alone, and the impact that unprocessed pressure can have on the people closest to us.

At the heart of Clint’s approach is a shift in perspective: from performing for approval to recognizing that his work is an opportunity to steward what God has given him and serve others well. Whether you're leading a company, building a career, or simply trying to navigate the pressures of work and family, this conversation offers an encouraging look at what it can mean to pursue excellence without making life all about yourself.

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What happens when the life you thought you were building suddenly stops making sense? A career takes an unexpected turn. A job disappears. A diagnosis changes the way you understand yourself. And the carefully constructed picture of work, family, and the future begins to unravel, exposing that work-life balance doesn’t actually exist.

In this episode of Performing Under Pressure, hosts John Tinnin, MFT, and Lynn Roush, LPC, sit down with David and Molly Cover, a couple who found themselves navigating multiple job losses, major career transitions, the discovery of ADHD, and the anxiety and grief that came with all of it.

Listen in as David and Molly share honestly about what happened when their plans collided with a reality they couldn’t control, and how the pressure affected their marriage, their parenting, their identities, and their faith. As they turned to God, counseling, and their community for support, they learned to navigate their anxieties rather than be controlled by them.

But this isn’t a story about having everything figured out. It’s a story about being disoriented, surrendering the illusion of control, and learning to reorient around what matters most. If you find yourself losing balance and going in a direction you didn’t expect, God may be redirecting your destination and giving you the gift of learning to rely on him.

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Do you remember the teacher who believed in you before you believed in yourself?

What you might not remember is everything happening behind the scenes for that teacher: the stress of classroom management, difficult decisions, competing demands, and quiet sacrifices that made learning seem effortless.

In this eye-opening episode of our Performing Under Pressure series, Austin Conner, PLPC, sits down with elementary school teacher Lexie Darrough to talk about what it’s really like to stand at the front of a classroom. Their conversation explores teacher burnout, the challenge of caring for both the hearts and minds of students, the partnership between parents and educators, and the surprising freedom that comes from remembering that God loves every child even more than we do.

Today’s teachers are educators, counselors, mediators, encouragers, detectives, performers, and safe people for children whose lives outside the classroom may be anything but stable. They carry the pressure of helping every student succeed while navigating changing expectations, endless assessments, and the reality that no two children walk through the classroom door with the same needs.

Whether you’re a teacher, a parent, or simply someone who wants to better understand the people shaping the next generation, Lexie’s wisdom offers encouragement for anyone trying to faithfully serve others under pressure.

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Most of us will never have to tell someone they have months to live. We won’t have to sit across from a patient and tell them that we have exhausted even the most advanced treatments modern medicine can provide. But there are doctors who face the realities of life and death every day.

In this profound episode of our new series, Performing Under Pressure, Austin Conner, PLPC, sits down with his longtime friend, Dr. Brandon Huffman, a gastrointestinal oncologist and clinical researcher, to explore what it's like to live at the intersection of extraordinary scientific progress and profound human suffering.

Together they look beyond the white coat and into the unseen pressures physicians carry: the expectations they place on themselves, the limits of medicine, and the emotional cost of walking with patients through the hardest moments of their lives. Throughout the conversation, Brandon shares how his Christian faith enables him to face suffering honestly without losing hope, even when healing doesn't come in the way he or his patients desperately want.

Whether you work in medicine, care for people in another high-pressure profession, or simply wonder how to remain faithful when you're confronted with problems you can't fix, this conversation offers a thoughtful and deeply human perspective on calling, compassion, and the hope that endures even in the face of death.

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What keeps someone steady when every decision could mean the difference between life and death?

Most of us will never command soldiers through a war zone or spend our days searching for hidden roadside bombs. But we all know what it feels like to carry responsibilities that seem heavier than we can bear. Whether you’re leading a family through a crisis, making difficult decisions at work, or simply trying to stay faithful in a stressful season, pressure has a way of revealing where you place your trust.

In this gripping episode of our new series, Performing Under Pressure, Shay Roush, M.Div., sits down with Vince Bentinganan, a retired Army lieutenant colonel and former Commander of Bravo Company, 110th Engineer Battalion, to talk about the realities of searching for improvised explosive devices (IEDs) during Operation Iraqi Freedom, a hostile environment with brutal physical, mental, and spiritual conditions.

As they reflect on their 20-year friendship, Vince shares openly about the stress of combat, the weight of leadership, and the spiritual disciplines that kept him grounded during deployment. It turns out that things like prayer, godly friendships, connection, and encouragement are helpful even in one of the most dangerous environments imaginable.

Whether you’re navigating a season of overwhelming responsibility or simply wondering how to remain steady when life feels scary or uncertain, Vince’s story of faith under fire offers timeless wisdom and abundant hope.

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What does it take to stay calm when someone else’s life is on the line? That's something the first guest for our new series, 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲, knows about firsthand.

In this enlightening interview, Austin Conner, PLPC, sits down with Caroline Vandervoort, an emergency room nurse at University Hospital in Columbia, Missouri, to find out what it’s like to work in the trauma bay.

Caroline will explain the pressure of caring for patients on the hardest day of their lives, receiving criticism without becoming cynical, battling compassion fatigue, and seeking to serve Jesus in every aspect of her job - big and small.

Whether you work in healthcare or not, we think you’ll find yourself in Caroline’s story. Because ultimately, this episode isn’t just about emergency medicine. It’s about remaining compassionate under pressure, pursuing excellence without losing your soul, and discovering that Jesus is present even in trauma and chaos.

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What if the biggest obstacle to financial peace isn’t how much money you make, but the story you believe about money?

Most of us spend our lives chasing “just a little more”, assuming that the next raise, investment, or financial milestone will finally bring contentment. Yet some people with modest incomes build lasting wealth, while others who earn millions end up anxious and always wanting more. Maybe the problem isn’t our finances at all. Maybe it’s our hearts.

In this stirring episode, the conclusion to our Beach Reads for Real Life series, Shay Roush, M.Div., takes a close look at The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel. Despite its title, it’s not really a book about budgeting, investing, or financial formulas. It’s about human behavior.

As Shay explains three important principles from Housel’s book, you’ll discover that your relationship with money is rarely just about dollars and cents. It’s about contentment instead of comparison, freedom instead of appearance, and faithfulness instead of instant results. Ultimately, money is not only a reflection of what you believe about God, but an invitation to trust him to provide.

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One conversation can either strengthen a relationship or start to unravel it. Most of us don't wake up intending to say the wrong thing, yet we've all replayed conversations in our heads, wishing we'd responded with more wisdom, more clarity, or fewer words. Healthy communication isn't just something we wish we could do; it's a skill we all have to learn.

That's why Austin Conner, PLPC, chose The Next Conversation: Argue Less and Talk More by Jefferson Fisher as his Beach Read for Real Life. Rather than offering vague advice to "communicate better," Fisher gives practical tools you can start using immediately. Drawing from his experience as a trial lawyer, he shows how communication skills can dramatically change the outcome of our conversations and improve our relationships.

Listen in as Austin explores the timeless wisdom behind Fisher’s ideas through the lens of Scripture. You’ll discover that for Christians, communication isn’t just a personality trait or a professional skill; it’s part of being a disciple. Every conversation becomes an opportunity to practice humility, pursue peace, and reflect the character of Christ to the people around you.

Recommended Resource: The Next Conversation: Argue Less and Talk More by Jefferson Fisher

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Have you ever wondered if your body knows something that your mind hasn't caught up to yet?

Maybe you’ve always thought of stress as an emotional experience; something that affects your mood, your thoughts, or your relationships. But what if stress has a profound effect on your body? And what if that stress started when you felt like you couldn’t say no?

In this next episode of our summer series, Beach Reads for Real Life, Lynn Roush, LPC, explores a fascinating and sometimes controversial question posed by the book When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Maté: What happens when the need to be loved, accepted, or needed becomes so important that we lose touch with our own limits?

You’ll be challenged to consider the ways your life experiences, coping strategies, and emotional patterns may have shaped your physical health or recent diagnosis. At the same time, Christians need a framework that goes beyond psychology alone. Scripture reminds us that not all suffering is a problem to solve. Some suffering comes from faithfulness, sacrifice, and obedience to Christ.

Listen in as Lynn examines where Maté’s insights are helpful, where they may fall short, and how the gospel speaks to our deepest need for love, connection, and healing. You’ll discover that when your life is in God’s hands, you are free to be honest about your wounds because your worth is already secure in Christ.

Recommended Resource: When the Body Says No: The Hidden Cost of Stress by Gabor Maté

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What if the problem isn’t that God has left you—but that he’s leading you somewhere you never expected to go?

Few experiences are more unsettling for a Christian than the feeling that God has become distant. You pray, read Scripture, attend church, and try to stay faithful, yet the warmth and certainty you once felt seem to disappear. When that happens, many of us immediately assume we’ve done something wrong. We begin searching for the mistake, wondering why God feels absent and how we can get back to where we used to be.

In the first episode of our short summer series, Beach Reads for Real Life, listen in as John Tinnin talks about the bookhttps://www.amazon.com/When-God-Seems-Distant-Surprising/dp/1540905322When God Seems Distant: Surprising Ways God Deepens Our Faith and Draws Us Near by Kyle Strobel & John Coe. The authors challenge the assumption that the Christian life should be a steady climb from one spiritual high to the next. Instead, they show how God often does some of his deepest work in seasons of uncertainty, silence, and longing—times when we can’t rely on feelings and are invited to trust him in new ways.

What makes this book so refreshing is its honesty. Rather than offering quick fixes or formulas for getting God back, it gives language to feelings many believers experience but rarely discuss. The authors invite us to stop treating the spiritual life like a self-improvement project and begin seeing it as a relationship that often grows through vulnerability, dependence, and surrender. For anyone who has ever wondered why God feels far away, this book offers both comfort and a different way of understanding the journey.

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It often seems like the Ten Commandments are about outward behavior: Don’t steal. Don’t lie. Don’t cheat. Don’t kill. But “You shall not covet” reaches into the hidden places of the heart where comparison and dissatisfaction grow. Even when our lives look fine on the outside, our hearts can still be restless, angry, and convinced that everyone else has been given something better.

In this introspective last episode of our 10 Keys to the Universe series, John Tinnin, MFT, and Shay Roush, M.Div., explore why coveting is more than simply wanting nice things. Envy has the power to shape our entire lives, turning good desires into controlling desires. Coveting affects the way we see our homes, relationships, success, possessions, and our sense of worth. Along the way, they look at why this commandment leaves even the Apostle Paul feeling exposed, and why comparison never actually satisfies.

They also talk about the difference between healthy desire and destructive craving, and why contentment must be learned over time. Coveting is actually connected to the first commandment about idolatry: whatever we believe will finally make us happy can slowly take God’s place in our hearts. But the good news of the gospel is that Jesus meets the ache underneath all our desires.

If you’ve ever struggled with comparison, disappointment, envy, or the feeling that everyone else’s life is better than yours, this conversation is for you. Listen to the full episode as we wrap up our series on the Ten Commandments and discover how true contentment is found not in getting everything we want, but in belonging to the God who already loves us completely.

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