Wrong Side of the Ruck

Pull up a bit of the couch: it's the East Midlands Derby at Welford Road, Leicester vs. Northampton, it's pissing rain, and Henry Pollock is starting (and not starting) some shit in the tunnel. Jones is pretty sure he learned it from Tocco.Jonesy breaks down why a tight head in the better position keeps getting penalized, swears scrums were safer when they were worse, and opens Scrum School to teach the dark art of Scrumaganda. Tocco sips Malört on purpose, Jones compares it to licking black tar heroin, and we finally find out how Cowboy got his name (Rochester PD, a cowboy hat, boots and nothing else). There's a man in a flat cap, a 320 lb mullet straight out of Molly Hatchet, a fight over whether it's autumn, and somewhere in there we decide the show needs to be unlearnable.Confidently incorrect, cold beer in hand and good people to argue with. It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.Follow us on IG @WrongSideoftheRuck

Pull up a bit of the couch: it’s Champions Cup round one at Loftus, we can’t find Stade’s American prop Jack Iscaro, and Tocco thinks we’re broadcasting from Peoria, Illinois.

Jonesy comes in hot when a pencil-thin scrum half starts telling grown front rowers how to hold their body weight and goes on a rant 20 years of playing in the making, a hooker bleeds from his ear for most of the match, and Marco van Staden takes the scrum places no scrum should have to go. There’s a man held together by tape and dreams, a history lesson on the French and the Germans, the Metzstein Files are back, and someone ends up “hand job adjacent.”

Confidently incorrect, half-cocked, and with a cold Negroni in hand. It’s rugby the way you’ve always loved it. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you’ll like it here.

Follow us on IG @WrongSideoftheRuck and email us at wrongsideoftheruck@gmail.com

0:00 Cold open: tape and dreams3:30 Live from Peoria9:21 Kickoff14:32 The first scrum18:56 Pollard's 50/2228:35 Pronunciation court34:47 Commercial: the East Side Hyenas38:31 Pencil-thin scrum halves45:33 Too aggressive in the scrum53:58 Are the French Germanic?58:42 The Metzstein Files1:01:51 Halftime: Fable and Glen Gouley1:04:20 Second half1:11:54 Botha or Bakkies?1:18:46 Who has it worse in preseason?1:33:38 DIY or die1:35:56 Hand job adjacent1:42:23 The 25 lb kettlebell1:50:02 Next week: Negroni, Scotch and Glasgow1:55:48 Outro

The couch lands in Eden Park this week as we polish the Bledisloe Cup up and Jones sits on the edge of his seat in hope. Right out of the gate Tocco looks to go in dry and get this thing fired up.

We debate Mackenzie at 10, get a good yell in at the Ref's for that BS call and watch try after try roll in on both sides. We get lost a bit takling small hookers and nails in the coffin but steer the couch back around to talk the AB's skills in flodding through the line and opening up opportunities.

Confidently incorrect, chaotic calls and good people to argue with. Grab a beer, bring a friend and pull up a bit of the couch.

Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

Find us on IG at WrongSideoftheRuck

We take the couch out of the southern hemisphere this week to get back to the UK and the URC where it's a Welsh derby. Scarlets vs. Dragons. Jones takes a Dragons try very personally, Tocco gets told to fuck off twice inside a minute and both are earned.

We've got Q-Tip blonde hair on an islander, a linout that fails to succeed and a maul so dirty it should have to register on a list somewhere. Manzano comes within a bootlace of glory, somebody's drinking like a little bitch and someone else thinks a casual 10 beers is just a quiet Tuesday.

It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Confidently incorrect, with a cold beer in hand and good people to argue with. Pull up a bit of the couch, bring a friend and join us here on the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

Its time for more Saffa's as the couch makes a hard right from the Premiership game we had planned to take a look at what everyone's been talking about. The Wallabies are taking on the Springboks; Rassie made 13 changes and a new captain, Tocco came ready to fight the TMO and Jones can't stop giggling about the ref being that bad AND being Italian.

We've got bare ass tries, a Bigfoot that you'd swear was Randy Quaid, panty-less fries and a mustache that clearly fucks. The Pope even shows up for whats going on in at the end. It's complete pandemonium. It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Half cocked opinions fueled by cold beer and a few too many concussions. It's Rugby on the Wrong Side of the Ruck. Welcome. We think you'll like it here.

Houston, we have a problem. The Couch made its way over to Japan for the 3rd place final of the Pacific Nations series this year where the US takes on Canada. And fumbles hard.

There's a lot happening here and we didn't think to edit much. We talk scrums, Lot Lizards, dodgy mullets and beautiful Europeans. We get an update to the opening of the Top14, Premiership and URC tables, a primer on "As the Dragon Turns" and too little talk about how the US is just cocking it right up. Good thing we don't have a World Cup coming.

It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Categorically incorrect, slightly buzzed and coming at you from the Wrong Side. Welcome. We think you'll like it here.

The road to Baltimore was so long that some of us fell asleep on the couch. The Finale between the All Blacks and South Africa nearly broke Craig and had Tocco all over the place.

Somewhere in the Chaos we talk Benjamin Button scrum halves, Jones waxes poetically about the Killdozer and we get stuck in on scrums again. Codie Taylor needed a band-aid, we've got dag jokes and somewhere through it all we actually fit in a conversation about the game, the fall of the All Blacks and a rugby world without a Superman.

It's rugby the way you love it here; confidently incorrect, cold beer in hand and good friends to argue with. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

The plan was simple: pull up a bit of the old couch, crack a few beers and watch the Saffa's take on the Blackness. That didn't even last through the first fifteen minutes as we get derailed finding ourselves in Groundhogs Day.

We explore the dodgy mullet club and see if we have a new entry, Tacolini makes a cameo, we chat about Clippy and there's a penalty for running too hard that ends with an argument. Savea does Savea things and we can't contain ourselves, scrums and the dark arts come up and we get almost a full 30 seconds of genuine conversation about what it means to be a teammate.

Half cocked opinions based on almost nothing, cold beer and rugby the way you've always loved it. Grab yourself a bit of the couch and join us. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck.

We think you'll like it here.

Pull up a bit of the couch as Tocco claims he's coming in hot and Jonesey is wound tight the whole episode; which Tocco loves. We're sitting down for Round Two of the Greatest Rivalry as the Springboks and All Blacks square off in Cape Town, stop 2 on our Road to Baltimore.

Somewhere in all the shenanigans we fall down a scrum rabbit hole and can't stop chatting about the angles, the prop infighting, and the dark arts. What's not to love? We've got a lot lizard TMO rant that goes sideways, caterpillar ruck bullshit that Jones can't handle, and Craig gets caught in a cacophony he can't seem to shake.

It's rugby the way you've always wanted it; slightly unhinged, confidently incorrect, and always with a cold beer in hand. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

The couch is ready this week as the Greatest Rivalry is finally here; the All Blacks and South Africa kickoff in Johannesburg. Come grab a seat as Rugby's Greatest Rivalry finally gets the point of view it needs. The Wrong Side.

Things start off strong with Tocco bringing Tacolini to the party, Jones is on it again with the TMO and the South African scrum gets so sexually dominant we can't stop drooling over the front row. There are the usual Craig fuck ups, confidently incorrect reads and a double double negroni that would make the Mayor of Sicily Proud.

Cold beer, chaotic reads and just correct enough to make you question why we can be so wrong at times. Welcome to rugby the way you've always loved it. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

The couch is looking a little worse for wear this week; it's the road to Baltimore week 3 and we're stepping into the shark Tank that is Durban to see what Nonu can do against his old teammates.

Tocco's trashy Europeaness gets the moment it deserves, Jones has to eat his words about just how young Reuben Love is and should he even be at 10, the TMO gets a stern talking to and a 44 year old man shows up for a Haka that'll put a tear in an eye. His first touch looks good enough to have Jones convinced one more season just may be fine. Barb Jones shows up at the end uninvited, there are a few big hits and Tocco spouts off some hot takes about benching your starters.

Cold beer in hand, good people to argue with, confidently incorrect takes you've always loved. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

Welcome back to the Road to Baltimore here on Wrong Side of the Ruck where the couch is nestled somewhere in South Africa and the boys are taking a look at the provincial rugby from Currie Cup. I don't know about you, but nothing screams Saffa rugby more than a bakers dozen of cards.

The Bulls hosted their first home game against the Pumas and we actually talked rugby this time. We swear. There was a Purple Cobra, deep chat about the dark arts, hooker shit, and somewhere between an ear pull and a Koenig Special Jones goes on a Pro Dark Arts rant.

Half cocked opinions based on almost nothing, cold beer and more scrum talk than actual scrums. It's rugby the way you love it. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck, we think you'll like it here.

Pull up a cozy bit of the couch because it's Stag Day in Invercargill, and the boys are gearing up for the road to Baltimore and South Africa vs. New Zealand. We've got a few beers in hand and are watching NPC rugby's oldest grudge match: Otago vs. Southland.

As always, we talk about mostly anything but the match. There's Lee the Stripper, Honry the French Man, and way too much time spent on Saranac and the Hyena Toddlers. Just before we get too deep into scrums, Jones and Tocco compare the NPC to the SEC and try to get a thumb on where this level of rugby sits next to sports in the US.

Somewhere in there, there's a flanker try, huge hits, and a full-blown Emu War. Welcome to rugby the way you've always loved it; on the Wrong Side of the Ruck. Grab a beer and join us. We think you'll like it here.

Jones ditches the couch this week to actually play, leaving Tocco alone behind the mic of a potato for a solo call of the Can-Am Rugby Premier Finals between White Plains and your Eastside Hyenas.

As Tocco weaves commentary through the lens of a handful of van beers Dribbles nearly throws hands, a squad of 17 year olds humiliate grown men, Negronis finally get the personality arc they deserve and we learn about Tocco's allergies to cats from a Julia Roberts looking woman he barged in on the night before.

It's rugby how you've always loved it; cold beer in hand and confidently incorrect. Welcome to Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

The couch saw a lot of action this week as the Lot Lizards wouldn't leave Jones alone as we sat down to watch the Italians take on Australia in Perth for round three of the Nations Championships.

Somewhere between teh dark arts and Magnum Itai Perth handed us scrum debates, hat tricks and Jones ranting about languages he can't speak. Tocco went full Italian in the sheeds and we find ourselves in the Circle of Honestly.

Grab yourself a cold beer and settle in for what will likely be a confidently incorrect telling of what happened in Perth. It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Welcome to Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

We released the Taco, formally, somewhere between Jones' internet going out for the fourth time and a Trojan sponsorship request that got weirdly specific. Meanwhile, Wales and Argentina went at it down in San Juan and Wales didn't completely disappoint Jones. We talked scrums, ketamine, hair plugs from Turkey and way too many Hooker things to count here.

Come peek behind the Aluminum Curtain and grab a bit of the couch while we get through this one. We may be confidently incorrect, but at least the beer is cold here. Come enjoy rugby the way you've always loved it, on the Wrong Side.

We think you'll like it here.

The couch pulled double duty tonight as we speed out from Denver and head down to Christchurch for the kickoff of the Nations Championship. New Zealand vs. France. It may have been our second recording that night but we're still not sure what the hell we're doing here. But there was rugby. We saw a new Tater enter the chat, Tocco is thinking about making stomping great again and Jalibert takes a dive that we cannot forgive.

Bad mullets, worse Ref's and half cocked opinions based on almost nothing. It's rugby the way it was meant to be. So grab a beer, pull up some couch and welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck.

We think you'll like it here.

We've shipped the couch back to Cape Canaveral so we can keep an eye on the US Space program while it enters phase two; Project Hail Fucking Mary. Eagles vs. Portugal in the inaugural Nations Cup. Os Lobos came to play, the US came to actually do something for once and it all comes down to a single kick in the end. We tried to stay calm, but really did you expect us to?

Welcome to the B-Side. Expect even less accurate analysis, more shenanigans and at least a handful of opinions no one asked for.

Pull up a bit of the couch and bring us all a beer. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

Look. We had a plan. The couch was in Twichekham, which Jones declared was Welsh adjacent, and we were going to watch George North's last match and Faf do faF things. The plan was good. The match not so much. So by halftime we push that bitch right across the channel and abandon Cardiff for Paris where Tolouse are destroying everything in their path. There are cartoon supervillains, hookers not scoring tries, Tocco delivering hot takes on reffing in broken Sicilian all while we watch dominant scrums. Also a hooker does score. That's important for later.

Pull up a bit of the couch as we continue to be confidently incorrect. Even in picking matches. It's rugby the way you've always loved it, slightly unhinged and bursting with bullshit.

It's the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

It's finals weekend and the couch is fit to burst. We sat down to watch all three championships in one sitting, and somewhere around the negroni and a half things got weird. Leinster ran roughshod over the Bulls, the Hurricanes put up record-breaking numbers against the Chiefs, and Northampton claimed the Premiership title, and somehow we still found time to debate Prendergast's relation to Tong Po, the return of Mad Sweeney, and the correct use of a safe word. Serves us right for keeping this train going on the wrong side of midnight.

Try to find some space on the couch and join us for rugby the way you've always loved it. Loud, beer-soaked and as unhinged as you'd expect.

Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.