Become A Calm Mama

Your teenager pulling away from you is normal, and it’s a sign their brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. In the teen years, your child’s job is to build an identity outside your family, and their brain is wired to care far more about social safety than physical safety or future success.

Your job is to stay calm, be available but not needy, listen without fixing, and hold clear rules without lectures. The way you handle these years is what sets up a good relationship with your young adult later.

You’ll Learn:

• Why your teen cares more about their friends than their grades (and why that’s developmentally right on track)
• Why your teen shuts down after school, and how to give them the decompression time they need
• How to listen to your teen’s problems without rescuing, fixing, or falling apart
• Why adolescence is like making a cake

Parenting teens is so, so hard. But as a mom who is now on the other side, with young adult children I have a really good relationship with, I can tell you that a lot of what makes that relationship work now came from choices I made during the teen years.

In today’s episode, I’ll help you understand what’s happening in your teen’s brain so you can give them the support they need and stay connected, even as you let go of control.

Read the full show notes here.

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Related Episodes:

• The Parenting Teens Playliston Spotify - A curated list of Become A Calm Mama’s teen-focused episodes
• Episode 32: Adolescence & Identity
• Episode 84: Better Conversations with Teens & Tweens
• Episode 86: The Adolescent Brain

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

The simplest way to calm down your day is to decide in advance when each everyday task happens, cut down the number of choices your family has to make, and give your kids your full attention at the hardest transitions: wake-up, drop-off, pickup, and bedtime.

In my house, that looked like easy ready-made breakfasts, no screens on school mornings, a small drawer of favorite clothes, lunchboxes on the counter right after school, the dishwasher run every single night, one sport at a time, and the same 5 to 8 dinners on repeat.

In this episode, I’m sharing some of my own tried-and-true routines and rhythms for simplifying your daily life. This is not a to-do list or the way it's "supposed" to be done. It's how I created our daily routines, why I made those choices, and how they helped me establish a peaceful and easy rhythm for our home.

You’ll Learn:

• Three key times of day when your kid needs your full attention
• Why it’s okay to let yourself off the hook sometimes (and ideas of what to let go of)
• How to adjust these rhythms to work for you and your family

Your days will look different than mine did, and you definitely don’t need to use every tip I share here. I do hope you’ll get some ideas for how to structure your days and simplify your life. Start with one or two favorites, and take it from there!

Read the full show notes here.

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Related Episodes:

• Episode 2.34: Stress-Free Mornings With Kids: The 3-Step Easy Morning Routine
• Episode 2.35: Bedtime Routine Falling Apart? Here's How to Set (and Hold) Bedtime Limits
• Episode 2.36: Screen Time Battles? Here's How to Set Effective Screen Time Limits
• Episode 2.37: Homework Struggles Solved: Afternoon Routines and Limits That Motivate Kids
• Episode 2.38: How to Get Kids to Do Chores Without Nagging (Age-by-Age Guide)
• Episode 2.39: Peaceful Meals: How to Get Your Kids to Behave at the Dinner Table (Without Yelling)

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

There are two simple concepts that solve almost every dinnertime struggle. The first is the Division of Responsibility in Feeding - giving the right responsibilities to the right people (hint: it’s not your job to make sure your kid cleans their plate). The second is using the Limit Setting Formula to set clear limits that turn mealtime chaos into a routine your kid can actually learn from.

Dinner doesn’t have to be so dramatic. Today, I’ll help you create a dinner routine that gives less chaos and more peace, connection, joy, and ease.

You’ll Learn:

• Common mistakes that parents make at dinner (and what to do instead)
• How to deal with picky eating, using the Division of Responsibility in Feeding
• What to do about the mealtime behaviors that are driving you nuts
• Example limits and scripts for common dinnertime problems
• When to get professional help for your picky eater

Read the full show notes here.

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Related Episodes & Resources:

• Episode 66: Peaceful Dinners & Picky Eaters
• Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter
• Episode 2.34: Stress-Free Mornings With Kids: The 3-Step Easy Morning Routine
• Episode 2.35: Bedtime Routine Falling Apart? Here's How to Set (and Hold) Bedtime Limits
• Episode 2.36: Screen Time Battles? Here's How to Set Effective Screen Time Limits
• Episode 2.37: Homework Struggles Solved: Afternoon Routines and Limits That Motivate Kids
• Episode 2.38: How to Get Kids to Do Chores Without Nagging (Age-by-Age Guide)

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

The fastest way to get kids to actually do chores is to stop reminding and start using a limit: "You're welcome to [the next thing] as long as [the chore is done]."

Pick one or two age-appropriate chores at a time, connect each one to something that already happens next in your child's day (e.g. a snack, screen time, homework, going outside) and follow through calmly and consistently.

In this episode, I’ll show you how to get your kid to do chores and how to build a habit that they can internalize so that doing their chores becomes automatic.

I’m sharing an age-by-age breakdown of what's reasonable to expect from your kid, five common mistakes that keep chores from sticking, and exactly how to use the Limit Setting Formula so you're not nagging, bribing, or quietly doing everything yourself.

You’ll Learn:

• The benefits of chores for kids (and for you)
• Age-appropriate expectations for chores
• Common mistakes families make with chores, and how to avoid them
• How to create a chore routine that actually works so you can stop reminding and nagging

Read the full show notes here.

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Related Episodes:

• Episode 151: Giving Allowance to Teach Financial Literacy
• Episode 2.34: Stress-Free Mornings With Kids: The 3-Step Easy Morning Routine
• Episode 2.35: Bedtime Routine Falling Apart? Here's How to Set (and Hold) Bedtime Limits
• Episode 2.36: Screen Time Battles? Here's How to Set Effective Screen Time Limits
• Episode 2.37: Homework Struggles Solved: Afternoon Routines and Limits That Motivate Kids

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Homework fights almost never come down to laziness or defiance. They come down to five specific causes - exhaustion, procrastination, perfectionism, low motivation, and disorganization - and each one has its own reason behind it and its own fix.

The two tools that solve nearly all of them are the Connection Tool (for the in-the-moment big feeling) and the Limit Setting Formula for building a routine. In this episode, I’ll walk you through what’s actually going on with each behavior, and exactly what to say and do about it.

You’ll Learn:

• Why rewards and sticker charts don’t actually motivate kids in the long term.
• Why procrastination, perfectionism, low motivation, and disorganization are emotional and structural issues, not character flaws (and why this is even more true for kids with ADHD)
• How to use the Connection Tool in the moment your kid is stalling or melting down
• How to run a Coaching Conversation for repeat patterns like perfectionism
• Real examples of homework limits you can use tonight

Read the full blog post here.

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Related Episodes:

• Episode 2.34: Stress-Free Mornings With Kids: The 3-Step Easy Morning Routine
• Episode 2.35: Bedtime Routine Falling Apart? Here's How to Set (and Hold) Bedtime Limits
• Episode 2.36: Screen Time Battles? Here's How to Set Effective Screen Time Limits

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Screen time battles usually come down to one thing: you don't have a plan, so you're making the same exhausting decision over and over, in the moment, while your kid is asking (again).

The fix is to decide your rules in advance - which devices, what content, when, and for how long - based on what your kid actually needs rather than an arbitrary time limit. Then, use the Limit Setting Formula to communicate the plan: tell your kid what they can have, and the condition they need to meet to get it. Hold the limit, even through the meltdown that follows.

Between the frustration that you're dealing with constant requests and decisions, confusion, and conflicting information, it’s no wonder you’re overwhelmed. There’s a lot of mental and emotional stuff going on - and it’s just one small piece of parenting.

Today, I’m sharing best practices and how to create a tech plan for your own family.

You’ll Learn:

• The 4 tech decisions you need to make
• When to allow screens (and why school days are the easiest thing to make a blanket rule)
• A simple, logical way to determine how much screen time your kid gets
• What to do when your kid melts down or won't turn it off
• How to create your family’s tech and screen time plan

Read the full blog post here.

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Related Episodes:

• Episode 129: Screen Free Mindset
• Episode 67: Screen Time Strategies

Free Resources:

Common Sense Media

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Bedtime routines usually fall apart for one of two reasons: There's no real structure, or there is a routine but it collapses the moment your kid pushes back.

Commands and threats might get short-term compliance, but they don't actually teach anything. The fix is the Limit Setting Formula: tell your kid what they can have or do, and under what condition. Then hold it (even through the meltdown that follows).

And when bedtime runs long because of a meltdown or stalling, follow up the next day with restitution or a natural consequence for the time and energy it cost you.

If your family is struggling with bedtime, it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you or your kid. It means that you're missing a parenting skill or need some more information. Some of parenting is intuitive, but there are also a lot of skills that you have to build along the way.

You’ll Learn:

• The 2 totally solvable problems that are making bedtime chaotic
• Why commands and threats backfire at bedtime (and what to do instead)
• How to use the Limit Setting Formula to set a bedtime limit
• What to do (and not do) right after you state the limit
• How to follow up the next day with consequences and restitution

In this episode, I’ll show you how to build a bedtime routine that actually feels doable and how to use clear limits and consequences when bedtime goes sideways. Over time, your child will internalize this new routine, so you can stop repeating, reminding, and yelling every night.

Read the full show notes here.

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Related Episodes:

• Episode 65: Sleep Struggles: Helping Kids Master Self-Soothing Skills
• Episode 5: Rethinking Consequences
• Episode 4: Setting Limits That Work

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

The three most important things you can do when you want easier mornings with kids are to create a to-do list, be honest about how much time you need to get it all done, and build out a simple timeline for your family to follow each day.

Today on the podcast, I’m talking about the part of the day that trips up almost every family - the morning. I’ll walk you through my morning routine roadmap, a simple 3-step system to help you build mornings that actually get your kids out the door on time without stress.

You’ll Learn:

• My simple 3-step system for smoother mornings with kids
• How to create your own morning routine roadmap
• Why being on time isn’t the most important thing
• A sample morning routine and timeline
• 5 tips for less stressful school mornings

If you want less chaotic, more organized mornings, you’re in the right place!

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Resources:

• Free Guide: Easy Mornings with Kids
• Episode 192: The 5 Things: Easy Routines for Kids
• Episode 191: Eyeballs: A Simple Parenting Tool for Instant Connection
• Episode 190: Make Mornings Better with the Gentle Handoff

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Before you jump into back-to-school schedules, rules, and to-do lists, I want you to set your goals and intentions for this school year. Because focusing on your mindset is what actually determines how this year will feel and how it all will go.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The back-to-school step you might be missing that makes a huge difference in how your year goes
• Why mindset needs to come before logistics
• Examples of thoughts you can use to feel the way you want to feel
• The types of goals every family should set at the start of a new year

If you don't decide on purpose how you want this school year to feel, the year will just happen to you. Instead of steering the ship, you’ll be reacting. But taking this 20 minutes with me to get clear on what you actually want will pay off all year long.

Read the full show notes here.

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Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

The truth is, meltdowns, mood swings, sibling squabbles, and up-and-down social feelings are all completely normal during the first week of school. Back to school is a transition, and it isn’t always a smooth one.

The week starts out pretty great. Your kid is excited, they have a good first day, and then within a few days they start falling apart over a granola bar or refusing to get in the car or suddenly saying they hate their teacher.

And you're thinking, “Wait, what happened? Weren't we doing okay? What has changed?”

Nothing has gone wrong. This is just what the first week of school looks like.

You’ll Learn:

• 5 things to expect during the first week of school
• 2 tools to help you get through back-to-school mornings and meltdowns
• Why I don’t want you to deliver consequences in the morning
• How to get through the back-to-school transition without losing your mind

I'm walking you through what to expect, the top five challenges families face during back-to-school, and two tools that will help you get through the mornings and the meltdowns.

Read the full show notes here.

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Related Episodes:

• Episode 2.12: The CALM Break | Stop Yelling With This 4-Step Parenting Tool
• Episode 190: Make Mornings Better with the Gentle Handoff
• Episode 191: Eyeballs: A Simple Parenting Tool for Instant Connection

Free Resource:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

The way to make the end of summer joyful instead of stressful is simple: stop trying to force your back-to-school routines into place early.

Let go of the pressure to fix bedtimes, screens, and wake-ups this week, and spend these last days actually enjoying your kids instead. School itself will rebuild the routine for you within the first few days. You don't have to do it in advance.

You'll Learn:

• Why you might be craving routine at this point in the summer
• What back-to-school and jet lag have in common
• Why forcing school routines early isn't worth it
• How to savor the last days of summer
• My favorite back-to-school tradition

If your kids are heading back to school in the next week or two, there's a good chance you're counting backwards from the first day, feeling the instinct to get it all organized: earlier bedtimes, less screen time, earlier wake-ups, chores back on the list.

In this episode, I make the case that even if you put in all that effort, it won't actually work - and it'll turn your last week of summer stressful instead of enjoyable. I'll walk you through what's actually worth doing before school starts, what to let go of, and why savoring this week matters more than prepping for it.

Read the full show notes here.

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Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Is connected parenting accidentally leading moms to burnout?

I think a lot of us have been doing something exhausting in the name of good parenting, including myself. Today, I'm showing you the big shift that stops connection from turning into exhausting, all-day emotional labor.

You’ll Learn:

• What intensive parenting is (and why it’s not required for connection)
• My thoughts on the “Beta Mom” movement
• Why you don’t have to solve every feeling
• The most important gift you can give your kid

The exhaustion that you’re feeling doesn’t mean that you’re not doing a good job. It might just be a sign that you’re doing more emotional labor that is actually required.

Read the full show notes here.

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Related Episodes:

• Episode 82: Simplify Your Life
• Season 2, Episode 16: The Connection Tool

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Summer doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be good enough.

If your kid is melting down, bored, complaining, or grumpy this summer, that doesn't mean you're doing something wrong.

Today I'm talking about mom guilt - specifically the kind that shows up in the summer - and challenging the idea that you need to fix it all. I'll show you how to take the pressure off yourself and embrace the "good enough" summer.

You’ll Learn:

• Why summer isn’t actually easier than the rest of the year
• Where summer mom guilt comes from
• Why doing less is actually good for your kids
• How to have a “good enough” summer

Read the full show notes here.

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Related Episodes:

• Check out our curated Calm Summer Mama podcast playlist on Spotify
• Get the Stress-Free Summer Toolkit
• Episode 2.22: Creating Good Summer Vibes | A Calm Parenting Guide
• Episode 77: Summer Sibling Squabbles
• Episode 128: Encouraging Boredom
• Episode 13: Dealing with a Grumpy Mood

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

In hard and stressful seasons, it can feel difficult to find the time to take care of yourself. But that's actually the best thing that you can do.

Today, I’ve invited therapist and author Cyndi Horwitz on the podcast to talk about something I’m very passionate about: Healing and supporting women when they’re going through difficult times. We’re talking about how to get out of the trap of self-abandonment and take excellent care of yourself so that you can manage mom stress and show up even in hard seasons.

You’ll Learn:

• Why you can’t plow through pain
• What self-abandonment looks like & why we do it
• How to start coming back to yourself
• The practice that helps you feel held and cared for
• Simple exercises to ease anxiety and fear

This conversation is an invitation to tap into the belief that you are okay in this moment.

We’re always breathing. Tap into it.

We’re always moving. Do it intentionally.

We’re always having conversations in our heads. Invite yourself to a lovelier one.

Click here to read the full show notes.

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Related Episodes:

• The 6-part “How To Heal” series, beginning with episode 161: Radical Self Love

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect with Cyndi:

• Pre-order the book, Held by the Tide: A Journey of Hope and Healing Through Breath, Movement, and Love
• Follow her on Instagram @healing.in.practice and TikTok @cyndi.horwitz
• Visit her website: http://www.cyndihorwitz.com

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Mom guilt is real. And it's stopping you from being the calm parent you want to be. In this episode, guest Mary Skinner helps you understand why you feel guilty, where it comes from, and how to stop blaming yourself.

We’re also getting into our own journeys of learning how to drop guilt, set better boundaries, and become the leaders of our families. There are so many little nuggets of wisdom in this episode that I can’t wait for you to hear.

You'll Learn:

• Problems with gentle parenting
• Where mom guilt comes from
• How to stop feeling so much mom guilt
• Why boundaries are so important (and how to get better at them)
• A simple mantra to help you drop self-judgment and guilt

Mary Skinner is a holistic birth and postpartum doula, founder of the Lotus Doula Tribe, mother of three children, yoga instructor, and all-around amazing mom and person. I hope you love our conversation!

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Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Related Episodes:

• Episode 176: This One’s For the Working Moms
• Episode 133: Your Kid’s Happiness Isn’t Your Job
• Episode 69: The Problem with Modern Motherhood
• Episode 56: Being a “Good” Mom Doesn’t Prevent Pain

Connect with Mary:

• Learn more about Mary Skinner and her work at https://lotusdoulatribe.com/
• Follow her on Instagram @LotusDoulaTribe
• Like her on Facebook

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

When mom guilt takes over, it's hard to feel like the calm mama you want to be. In this episode, guest Jessica Tomich Sorci shares why moms feel bad about themselves, along with mindful parenting tools to break the cycle. Learn how self-compassion isn't selfish; it's the foundation for confident parenting and real emotional connection with your kids.

You’ll Learn:

• How to have a better relationship with yourself as a human, a woman, and a mom
• What being an empty-nester looks like for me right now
• What I like to say to myself when I’m feeling anxious
• Ways to love all the parts of you - even the challenging ones
• What surprised me about my Mom Parts assessment

Jessica Tomich Sorci is a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a specialist in Internal Family Systems (IFS). Her focus is on maternal mental health. She’s here today talking about her new book, When Good Moms Feel Bad: An Empowering Guide to Transforming Guilt, Anxiety and Anger Into Compassion, Confidence and Connectedness, which she wrote along with Rebecca Gushuri.

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Resources/Previous Episodes:

• Episode 183: Internal Family Systems (IFS, part 1)
• Episode 184: Finding Your SELF (IFS, part 2)
• Episode 185: Being What Your Kids Needs (IFS, part 3)
• Episode 197: Freedom From the Good Mom Myth with Dr. Angele Close
• Episode 198: Letting Go of Mom Shame with Dr. Angele Close

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Connect with Jessica Tomich Sorci:

• Take the Mini Mom Parts quiz (and listen to the full podcast episode to hear Darlynn’s results!)
• Get the book - When Good Moms Feel Bad: An Empowering Guide to Transforming Guilt, Anxiety and Anger Into Compassion, Confidence and Connectedness
• Follow Jessica on IG @jessicatomichsorci
• Learn more on her website: https://www.jessicatomichsorci.com/for-moms

Today I'm getting into a topic that I hear about constantly from parents - lying. Is lying normal? What does it mean? And most importantly, what do we actually do about it?

There are a bunch of reasons that kids lie. When you understand why it's happening, it becomes much easier for you to respond in a calm way - without getting really angry, blowing up, shutting them down, or criticizing.

You'll Learn:

• Why kids lie (and yes, it's totally normal)
• What to do when your kid lies (with lots of scripts and examples)
• How to combine compassion and consequences
• 5 ways to encourage honesty in your family

Read the full blog post here.

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Related Episodes:

• Episode 2.15: 3 Essential Beliefs Kids for Emotional Health
• Episode 2.16: The Connection Tool
• Episode 2.20: Preventing Meltdowns | Teaching Kids Self Control Long-Term (How to have a coaching conversation)

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

I think we can all relate to wanting our kids to be more responsible, have more self control, and make good decisions. Today, I'm talking about teaching kids how to make good choices (and it’s not as complicated as you might think).

You’ll Learn:

• The link between connection and coaching
• Why lectures don't work (and what to do instead)
• The 3 steps of a coaching conversation
• How to use help kids make good choices and become more responsible with the STAR tool

The powerful difference in these conversations is that you're not just telling your kid what to do. You're walking beside them, helping them figure it out.

Read more in the full blog post.

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Related Episodes:

• Episode 2.16: The Connection Tool [New & Improved]
• Episode 2.20: Preventing Meltdowns in the Long Term

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Today, I've invited The Parentologist, Dr. Kim Van Dusen, to teach us about how to make parenting easier using play.

Dr. Kim Van Dusen is a licensed marriage and family therapist, registered play therapist, and parenting expert specializing in early childhood through adolescence. With more than two decades of experience as a clinician, educator, and public speaker, she works with families to support emotional regulation, positive behavior, and stronger parent–child relationships.

In her book, Parenting Through Play: Creative Strategies for Building Better Behavior, Deeper Connection, and Positive Communication, Dr. Kim walks parents through 3 evidence-based modalities: play therapy, solution-focused therapy, and positive behavior interventions and supports (PBIS).

We're talking about ways you can bring more play into your life and how to and turn charged moments into connection.

Read the full show notes at www.calmmamacoaching.com/blog

You'll Learn:

• Why play is such a powerful parenting tool
• 4 common myths about play - and the truth behind them
• The moment when Dr. Kim leaned into play with her kids and why it still stands out in her memory years later
• How to fit “purposeful play pockets” into everyday life

Connect with Dr. Kim:

• Get the book: Parenting Through Play: Creative Strategies for Building Better Behavior, Deeper Connection, and Positive Communication
• Follow her on IG @TheParentologist
• Learn more about Dr. Kim’s work on her website
• Listen to The Parentologist podcast

Free Resources:

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Summer planning doesn't have to mean overwhelm. Learn how to stay calm with kids while building a summer that feels good (not just looks good on your calendar).

In this episode, we go beyond schedules and camps to explore the mindset shifts, emotional regulation strategies, and practical tools that help you actually enjoy summer while handling the chaos that comes up.

Because the way you think about summer matters just as much as what you plan.

You’ll Learn:

• Why summer planning starts with your thoughts
• A little trick to make your new thoughts feel more true
• Summer routines and limits to decide in advance
• The inevitable challenges of summer (it's not just you!)
• How to avoid summer burnout as a mom

The goal is that when you send your kids off to school in the fall, you can look back on this summer and think, "That was fun." Let’s make it happen!

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Whether you already have the entire summer planned out or you're winging it and hoping for the best, these tips will help you to feel comfortable and confident heading into the summer break.

I like to think of summer preparation in 3 different parts:

Your summer mindset

Your summer plan

Your summer confidence

When you put these 3 pieces together, you end up with a summer that feels good for you, with a healthy combination of routine and freedom.

Your Summer Mindset

When I talk about mindset, the basic idea is that your feelings come from thoughts that you have. So by choosing the thoughts you want to focus on, you can feel the way you want. The way you think about summer and lots of open-ended time with your kids determines how you feel.

If you go into the summer thinking, "This is going to be hard," or, "I don't like spending this much time with my kids," it is going to feel a lot harder.

Summer is a long haul. It means a LOT of time with your kids, especially if you don't have childcare. Your kid is going to misbehave and have big feelings and complain and be too hot and overtired. You are going to feel tired. There are going to be hard days.

Lots of parents get to the end feeling burned out, overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, and resentful. But you can also get to the end of summer feeling joyful, present, and with some really great memories.

The first thing I want you to do is think about how you want to remember this summer. How do you want to feel about it? What thoughts do you want to have about it? How do you want to feel about yourself and your kids? What do you want the tone of your summer to be?

Some examples of things you might want to chase are:

• Joy
• Fun
• Gratitude
• Delight
• Connection
• Ease
• Challenge

Once you're clear on what feelings you want to chase, you can set an intention to guide you.

Let's say that you decide you're all about chasing fun this summer. Write down a few thoughts that you want to have about your summer, your kids, and yourself. These thoughts might feel like a bit of a stretch. It's a bit of a mix between making them believable and "fake it til you make it".

Here are a few more examples to get you started:

• I like playing with my kids.
• I love watching my kids learn new things.
• I love watching my kids smile and listening to them laugh.
• I want to remember this summer with _________ (insert your desired feeling).
• The more joy in my thoughts, the more joy in my actions.
• I get to choose how I think and feel.
• Summer goes by quickly, and I want to enjoy it.
• I am enjoying my time as a mom.
• Peace is better than perfection.
• Some days are hard, and that's okay.
• This is temporary. It's gonna be alright.

Another one of my favorite thoughts for summer is, "We don't have to". Parents often think they have to have extravagant, over the top events for their children in order for them to be happy or enjoy the summer. And that's just not true.

You can make good memories in the simplest of moments. Playing a game, lounging around, eating popsicles, going to the park, looking at the clouds. Just being present in those kinds of moments is enough. Memories are created in the feelings, not the things.

What your kid really wants from you is your presence. They want you to be with them, look them in the eye, and move at their pace.

Summer Plan

A common mistake parents make in the summer is letting things be too much of a free-for-all. I believe that kids do need a break from the demands and strict schedule of school, tutoring, sports, appointments, etc. And I want you to have a balanced structure to your day.

Having more flow and flexibility during the summer is helpful for kids' nervous systems because their nervous system is naturally slower than ours. But I also like to think of limits and routines as the metronome beat underneath your family. It's a consistent rhythm.

So how do you know when to let things flow and when to bring in some structure? The areas I'll talk you through today are screens, sweets, sleep, and chores.

Screen time. Ask yourself, "How do I want screens to go this summer?" Think about your screen routine during the school year. Will you keep it the same? Will you make changes?

I know you probably want me to tell you want to do here, but I'm not going to. It really depends on what you have going on, how busy your family is, how overwhelmed you are as a mom, etc.

I do think it is generally a good idea to avoid screens first thing in the morning. Give them a chance to get up, have breakfast, and get their bodies moving. You can set whatever limits you want here. For example, "You can watch TV for an hour as long as you have gotten dressed, had breakfast, and brushed your teeth."

If your kids are going to camp, I'd avoid screens altogether in the morning. It's not worth the meltdown when you're trying to get them to turn it off and get out the door.

Sweets. How much, how often, and when will your kids get sweet treats? Will you allow one sweet treat per day? Only when you are out? Only on weekends?

Sleep. With the sun going down later, it's fine to make bedtime 30-40 minutes later. But once you decide on the new bedtime, be as consistent as you can.

Of course there are nights when you're having a barbecue or you're watching 4th of July fireworks, and your kid ends up staying up late. It's not that big of a deal. The next day might be a little rough, but you can handle it.

What gets really hard for kids is when they're up late multiple nights in a row. Their bodies get used to a rhythm, and it's important to stick to that as much as you can.

Chores. The easiest way to get kids to do what you want them to do is to connect chores with another event. For example, "We'll leave for the beach once the trash cans are brought in," or, "We'll go to the pool today as long as everyone puts their laundry away by 11 a.m."

Here's the thing with limits. You can decide in the moment or change your rules every day if you want, but it will be confusing for your kids and you'll likely have more big feelings because they don't know what to expect.

If you do set limits and create a structure around these things, be prepared to follow through on them consistently.

As you figure out your summer limits and structure, think about your ideal day. When you know how you want things to go, it's easier to decide what you want those rhythms and limits to be.

Summer Confidence

Before we get into this one, I want you to know that a few things are inevitable during the summer:

• If you have more than one child, they are going to fight.
• Your kids will get bored. This is actually a good thing.
• You will feel burned out. Summer is a heavy lift for moms.
• People will have grumpy moods. Your kid will get grumpy, and you will get grumpy. It's okay to pivot if people aren't up for whatever you have planned. Trust your intuition.

Repeat after me. "I am not my child's camp counselor." It is not your job to make your kids happy or to make them have fun. Boredom is uncomfortable for them, but it's their job to figure it out. Play is their work.

In order to avoid burnout as much as possible (and get through it when it hits), you'll need to be proactive about managing your energy. Move your body daily. Connect with other adults. Do something that delights you. Allow your thoughts and feelings, and work on your mindset. Rest when you're tired. Even with screen time limits, you have permission at any time to put on a movie for your kids and take a break.

Wishing you a calm (and FUN!) summer, Mama!

Additional Resources

• Check out our curated Calm Summer Mama podcast playlist on Spotify
• Get the Stress-Free Summer Toolkit
• Episode 182: Digital Detox Made Easy with Molly DeFrank
• Episode 130: How To Do a Digital Detox
• Episode 77: Summer Sibling Squabbles
• Episode 128: Encouraging Boredom
• Episode 125: Shift Any Mood

Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here

Connect With Darlynn:

• Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
• Learn about the different parenting programs at http://www.calmmamacoaching.com/
• Follow me on Instagram@darlynnchildress for daily tips
• Rate and review the podcast on Itunes