BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko

Join Selfish 30, Margarita’s 30-day challenge, now running again in December

In this episode she answers your real questions on narcissists, porn, situationships, why he married someone else after 7 years, how to get your husband into conquering mode again, what to do when a man says he is unsure, and why after 13 years there is still no proposal. Plus updates on Selfish 30 and why December is your month to lock in.

Chosen, Margarita’s best marriage tips

Detach - 3 Day Intensive

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

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Join Selfish 30, Margarita’s 30-day challenge starting November 1st

Welcome back to Being Her, where we are officially entering our selfish era. After years of talking about how to get over an ex, move from anxious to secure attachment, and create the life you want, Margarita has realised the answer to all of it is the same: become a little bit more selfish. Not selfish as in taking from others, but deliciously selfish, putting yourself at the centre of your own life and owning it. In this episode, Margarita explains why “decentring men” keeps you thinking about men, why being the good girl hasn’t made you happier or more valued, and how guilt conditioning keeps women convenient instead of unforgettable. She gets candid about her own people-pleasing, finally buying herself caviar, and the difference between being needed and being valued. She also reveals Selfish 30, her brand new 30-day challenge to help you stop delegating your life to others and actually start doing the behaviours of a woman who puts herself first.

In this episode:

1. How is being a good girl actually working out for you

2. Your life is a result of what you repeatedly prioritise

3. Stop volunteering for self sacrifice nobody is giving you a medal

4. Why being selfish feels so uncomfortable

5. Nobody is coming to hand you the life you want

6. Selfish women ask for what they want because they know what they want

7. Become less available to everyone else to become more available to yourself

8. Stop confusing being needed with being valued

9. You cannot think your way into becoming a different woman you have to do the behaviours

10. Selfish 30, 30 days to become the woman you actually want to be

If you are ready to stop thinking about it and actually do something, this is your sign.

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

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This week’s episode comes straight from the DMs: “Can you please make a video about your partner sleeping soundly while you are crying next to him?” It’s a message Margarita gets often, and one she lived herself in her twenties. The internet’s answer is usually just “leave him,” but Margarita argues that skips the most important part: understanding what is actually happening. In this episode, she breaks down the pursue-withdraw dynamic, why men and women experience conflict so differently, and how anxious and avoidant partners are both trying to feel safe in opposite ways. She gets candid about emotional sovereignty, rumination, and handing your emotional weather to someone else. She also explains how to tell a healthy break from stonewalling, emotional overwhelm from emotional punishment, and the one simple test that shows whether it really is time to leave him.

In this episode:

1. Three separate reasons this could be happening and they are all different

2. The pursue withdraw dynamic and why it is so painful

3. Anxious versus avoidant attachment and why these two always find each other

4. Sleep does not prove emotional indifference

5. Why women ruminate and men shut down during conflict

6. Emotional invalidation versus nervous system overload

7. Stonewalling versus taking a healthy break

8. Why women carry the emotional labour of the whole relationship

9. Contempt and emotional punishment disguised as withdrawal

10. What the next day actually tells you about everything

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Mentioned in this episode:

Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko

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Episode mentioned: The Bossticks with Margarita Nazarenko

Peep the comments on the IG Reel that sparked this conversation

Books mentioned:

Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko

The New Rules by Margarita Nazarenko

To learn more about Margarita Nazarenko, visit https://www.margaritanazarenko.com

Welcome back to Being Her, where today it’s getting juicy, spicy and real life. Margarita is launching her new Substack, Unfiltered with Margarita, and using a viral moment from her recent appearance on The Bossticks to unpack why so many women feel burnt out, frazzled and in constant conflict with the people they love. When a clip about her husband forgetting the diapers in Las Vegas blew up online, the comment section revealed something bigger: women are carrying loads that were never theirs to carry. In this episode, Margarita breaks down the psychology of over-functioning, the difference between caring and controlling, and why stepping back and letting natural consequences play out can transform your relationships. She gets candid about her own over-functioning roots as the child of an immigrant, the mental load, catastrophizing, and why being unbothered means knowing exactly what deserves your energy. As always, 10 takeaways and 10 actionable steps.

In this episode:

1. Stop turning inconveniences into emergencies

2. You are not an emergency service for every adult in your life

3. The psychology of over functioning in a family system

4. Stop confusing caring with controlling

5. Consequences are often the best teacher, stop removing them

6. Your nervous system does not know you are arguing about small things

7. Stop treating every mistake as evidence of something bigger

8. Women are exhausted from monitoring everything

9. You cannot complain about carrying everything while refusing to put it down

10. Being unbothered means knowing what actually deserves your energy

If you do everything and nobody notices, if you correct how everyone else does things because your way is right, or if you are exhausted but cannot actually let go, this one is going to hit home.

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

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You already know what you need to do. You are just scared of what it is going to cost you.

Margarita is back from her book tour in America, freshly moved into a half renovated house with two small children, and she has things to say.

In this episode she shares the 10 mindset shifts that came up for her on the trip, the permissions she had to stop waiting for, and why the life you want is already inside you and has been the whole time.

In this episode:

1. You are probably not confused you are just scared of the consequences

2. Stop collecting advice you already have the answer

3. Distance tells you things proximity cannot

4. Your next life requires disappointing someone from your current one

5. Stop waiting to feel ready confidence only comes after evidence

6. When you transform the old identity will fight back hard

7. Stop making permanent decisions based on temporary emotions

8. Your life changes when you stop negotiating with what you know

9. There is no future version of you coming to save you

10. Give yourself until the end of the year to prove you can do hard things

If you know what you need to do but cannot bring yourself to do it, if you keep asking everyone else what you should do with your life, or if you are waiting to feel ready before you start, this one is for you.

This is your sign. Lock in.

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

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Join me for the Final round of The Unbothered Woman Ever - We start October 2nd.

She was a fashion editor at GQ and Allure. She built a fashion line that dressed every A list celebrity. Then covid shut it all down.

And at 52 years old she started over. And built the biggest success of her entire career.

In this episode Margarita sits down with Mary Alice Haney in Hollywood and has the conversation every woman in her thirties, forties and fifties needs to hear. About reinvention. About the why not me mentality. About what it actually costs to build something.

We talk about how Mary went from fashion editor to founder to podcaster, why confidence is not something you wait for it is something you fake until it becomes real, what nobody tells you about balancing motherhood and ambition, why your biggest success might still be ahead of you, and why your age and your children are not the excuses you think they are.

If you have ever thought you are too old, too busy, too far behind, or that the window has closed, this episode will change your mind.

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

Love you lots like jelly tots xx

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Watch Detach My 3 Day Intensive

If there is one episode you listen to this year on anxious attachment, fear of abandonment, and why you can never fully relax in a relationship, let it be this one.

Your gut is not a wise little oracle. It is a nervous system shaped by everything that has ever happened to you. And if most of your experiences with love have involved pain, your gut has been calibrated to a setting that does not serve you when you are finally safe.

In this episode Margarita breaks down the real difference between anxiety and intuition, why trusting your gut is damaging advice for anxiously attached women, and what to do in the moment when you genuinely cannot tell which one is speaking.

In this episode:

Why anxiety and intuition feel exactly the same from the inside

Why trusting your gut is dangerous advice for anxious women

How your nervous system scans for danger even when you are safe

Why reassurance is a leaky bucket that will never fill

The three question framework to tell anxiety from intuition

What real intuition actually feels like vs anxious spiraling

What hyper independent women do when they finally feel something real

How to regulate before you react and ruin something good

When to stay and when the signal is actually real

What changes when you finally learn to tell the difference

If you can never fully relax no matter how much he shows up, if you need certainty just to feel okay, or if you are exhausted by your own spiral and just want it to stop, this one is for you.

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

Love you lots like jelly tots xx

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View The Feminine Energy Collection Here

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If you have been trying to step into your feminine energy but everything you have followed so far has felt like a performance, doing all the right things, not texting first, being soft, letting him lead, and still feeling the same anxiety underneath because nothing you were taught actually changed how you feel on the inside, this episode is for you.

In this episode I break down why the mainstream version of feminine energy is keeping you stuck in a cycle of performing for an outcome instead of actually embodying who you are, the real definition of feminine energy that no one is talking about, and the specific practices that shift you from managing every outcome to being so anchored in yourself that you never lose her again.

→ FREE: The Unbothered Reset: 30 Days to Become Her.

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→ Unbothered: The art of letting go

→ The New Rules Book

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

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Watch Detach

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You are not going to like this one. And if it makes you angry, that is probably a sign you need to hear it.

In this episode Margarita breaks down five things women do completely unintentionally, usually with the best intentions, that quietly push men away. Not the obvious stuff every relationship coach has already told you. The things nobody is saying.

In this episode:

1. Narrating every internal state the second you feel it

2. Mothering him and collapsing the polarity without realising it

3. Making yourself too agreeable, too easy, too cool girl

4. Manufacturing jealousy instead of actually building a full life

5. Needing his validation vs valuing his opinion

Whether you are in the talking stage, a long term relationship that has lost its spark, or a marriage that feels more like flatmates,

one of these five is going to hit home.

This is not about blame. It is about understanding why the dynamic shifts without either of you realising, until he pulls back and you have absolutely no idea what happened.

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

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Watch Detach: My 3 Day Intensive Masterclass

You have been warm to everyone. And it has exhausted you.

In this episode Margarita brings back an ancient Slavic wisdom she nearly lost to western society and makes the full case for your

ice queen era. Not cold for the sake of it. Not emotionally shut down. Just deeply discerning about where your warmth actually goes.

Because warmth given to everyone is worth nothing.

And warmth given to the right people changes everything.

In this episode:

1. Warmth is valuable because it is limited

2. Coldness gives you enough distance to see reality

3. An ice queen does not react on impact

4. Being colder means you stop explaining the verdict

5. Stop mothering people who disappoint you

6. You can love someone without giving them access

7. Colder women are harder to manipulate

8. Protected softness is intimacy, unprotected softness is self abandonment

9. The cool girl and the ice queen are not the same thing

10. The goal is not to be Elsa forever, it is to be discerning

If you give your warmth to everyone and get nothing back, if you over explain every boundary until it loses its power, or if you keep

performing warmth even when you are genuinely hurt, this one is for you.

Welcome to the ice queen era.

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

Love you lots like jelly tots xx

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Watch Detach: My 3 day intensive masterclass.

They called you bossy. They called you demanding. They called you difficult.

Good.

In this episode Margarita makes the full case for being self led, why women are trained from childhood to outsource their own lives to

other people's comfort, and why the burnout, brain fog and confusion so many women are feeling right now is coming from one place.

You have stopped leading yourself.

In this episode:

1. Self led women know what they want and are not afraid to say it

2. We are taught as little girls that being easy is rewarded

3. Being self led is not controlling others it is running your own life

4. Indecisiveness is one of the most expensive things you can do to yourself

5. Confidence looks bossy when people are not used to it

6. Women apologize before they even finish the thought

7. The fear is not of being bossy it is the fear of rejection

8. Every successful woman has been called bossy at some point

9. Someone is always steering your life if it is not you

10. What would you do if nobody was watching and nobody cared

If you say I do not mind so often you have forgotten what you do mind, if you apologize before you even finish the thought, or if you feel like you are living someone else's version of your life, this one is for you bossy girl.

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

Love you lots like jelly tots xx

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Watch Detach, my 3 day intensive masterclass here.

Every man's ex is crazy. Have you noticed that?

In this episode Margarita reclaims the word crazy and breaks down why emotional sovereignty is one of the most powerful things a woman can develop, why the cool girl performance is slowly killing you, and why feeling your emotions deeply is not your weakness.

It is your greatest asset.

In this episode:

1. Emotions are information not instructions to act

2. Emotional independence means stopping expecting others to regulate you

3. A regulated woman still cries and still gets angry

4. Stop treating every feeling like an emergency

5. Femininity is not emotional chaos it is leading your own emotions

6. Learn the difference between intuition and activation

7. Peace is not something a man gives you it is something you build

8. Stop outsourcing your self worth

9. Emotional maturity is the most attractive thing you can develop

10. The goal is not crazy amounts of happiness it is stability and joy

If you have been called crazy for having a completely valid reaction, if you suppress your emotions just to seem cool, or if you are handing your emotional regulation to everyone around you, this one is for you.

Welcome to emotional sovereignty.

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

Love you lots like jelly tots xx

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Watch Unbothered 3 Day Intensive Here

You have been trying so hard to be easy. Easy going. Easy to love. No requirements. No fuss.

And yet here you are.

In this episode Margarita makes the full case for being high maintenance and why the women who know what they want, ask for it unapologetically, and refuse to shrink themselves are the ones who get everything.

In this episode:

1. High maintenance is just a person who knows themselves

2. We are taught as little girls that being easy is rewarded

3. Low maintenance often becomes emotional dishonesty

4. How can a man meet the needs he does not know exist

5. Stop confusing standards with entitlement

6. The psychology of self silencing and why it kills relationships

7. Your needs are not problems, they are preferences

8. The fear of being high maintenance comes from a scarcity mindset

9. The healthiest women are actually quite specific

10. Stop trying to be easy to love because it does not exist

If you have been making yourself small so people will like you more, pretending to be fine when you are not, or following him around and forgetting to have preferences of your own, this one is for you.

Welcome to the high maintenance club.

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

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UNBOTHERED 3 Day Intensive

The more you do for him the more he will love you. That is what they told you. That is wrong.

In this episode Margarita breaks down the psychology of why making yourself useful is actually costing you the love, respect and value you are trying to earn.T his one is going to change how you show up in every relationship in your life.

In this episode:

1. Women are taught that love is earned through usefulness

2. The IKEA effect and why effort creates value

3. Stop robbing men of the chance to contribute

4. Useful is not memorable, it just fades into the background

5. Being needed and being loved are not the same thing

6. Every yes teaches people what to expect from you

7. Difficulty creates investment, not manipulation

8. Being low maintenance becomes self abandonment

9. Make people earn access to you through standards not games

10. Become unforgettable, not indispensable

If you do everything and still do not feel valued, if you have made yourself so convenient you have disappeared, or if you are needed but not truly chosen, this one is for you.

Get your copy of Unbothered Book

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Busy is not a badge of honour. It is a trap. And if you are reading this while doing three other things, this episode is specifically for you.

In this episode, Margarita makes a full unapologetic case for laziness. Why the pressure on women to be endlessly productive is not ambition. It is performance. And it is running you into the ground.

We talk about why your body is not a machine, why the 9 to 5 was literally built around male hormones and not yours, why productivity can become a sneaky way of avoiding yourself, and why the women who are actually winning are the ones who know when to stop.

In this episode:

Why a busy woman is not always a good woman

Why laziness and efficiency are a lot closer than you think

Why productivity can become a way of avoiding yourself

Why your 28 day cycle means the 9 to 5 was never built for you

Why nature does not rush and neither should you

Why women carry two shifts and still get called lazy

The difference between performative busyness and productive ambition

Why slower is not smaller and your ambition is yours to define

If you have ever felt guilty for resting, constantly busy but not actually going anywhere, or like you are performing productivity

rather than actually creating, this one is for you. Lazy cow.

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THE SELFISH RESET — Live Call with Margarita Aug 13

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UNBOTHERED 3 Day Masterclass

They taught you that being mean would get you ostracised. They taught you that having boundaries made you difficult. They taught you that disappointing people made you a bad person.

They were wrong.

In this episode, Margarita breaks down why the fear of being called mean is keeping you stuck, small, and silently resentful and why direct, honest, boundaried women aren't mean at all.

They're just no longer convenient.

In this episode:

1. Causing discomfort is not the same as causing harm

2. Mean usually just means you're no longer convenient

3. Niceness without limits becomes unpaid labour

4. Nice girls use niceness to control how people see them

5. Over explaining is fear dressed as communication

6. Women who avoid being mean often become it anyway, through resentment

7. Anger is not a flaw it's a service announcement

8. Kindness without limits becomes slavery

9. The difference between power and cruelty

10. Freedom means you will eventually disappoint someone, choose whose

If you've ever said yes when you meant no and then resented it, over explained yourself just to be liked, or become passive aggressive without meaning to.. this episode is for you.

Being Her is your no-filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

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THE SELFISH RESET — Live Call with Margarita

They told you vanity was shallow.

They told you caring about how you look made you stupid.

They told you self beautification was selfish and vain and bad.

They were afraid of what would happen if you started liking yourself.

In this episode, Margarita breaks down the truth about beauty, vanity and self adornment, why it's never been about men, why it's one of the most powerful things a woman can do, and why the women who invest in themselves get more of everything.

In this episode:

1. Everyone cares what they look like, drop the pretense

2. Pretty privilege is real — use it strategically

3. Looking good changes how you behave, and that changes everything

4. The word bimbo was invented to keep you from investing in yourself

5. Vanity is self investment and self sacrifice is not love

6. Your appearance is your first communication

7. If you're a mother, being vain is your duty

8. Vanity and self hatred are completely different things

9. To be desired, you have to desire yourself first

10. Beauty and youth are temporary. Self adornment doesn't have to be

If you've ever felt guilty for caring how you look, disconnected from your femininity, or like you're waiting to glow up after something

instead of right now, this episode is for you.

Being Her is your no-filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

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Your nice girl personality has got you this far. But it's also why you're exhausted, resentful, and running on empty.

In this episode, Margarita breaks down why selfishness isn't a flaw it's the missing ingredient keeping you from the life you actually want.

– Nice girls abandon themselves before anyone else can

– The world rewards agreeable women until it doesn't

– Selfless women become resentful — and it poisons everything

– People don't respect women who don't respect themselves

– Being needed is not the same as being loved

– Stop auditioning — you already have the role

– Selfish women ask for more and get more

– Boundaries don't lose good people — they expose bad ones

– Stop managing everyone else's emotions

– Every successful woman disappoints someone

– Selfish women actually give more — that's the paradox

– Becoming your own favourite person

If you've ever felt like you give everything and still feel invisible, resentful but unable to explain why, or like your whole identity is

built around being useful — this episode is for you.

Get your copy of Unbothered

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Join the Unbothered Woman

Not everyone in your life is going to like you. Your mother in law. Your colleagues. People online. And the harder you try to convince them otherwise, the worse it gets.

In this episode, Margarita breaks down exactly what to do when you're surrounded by people who don't like you, are jealous of you, or quietly resent you and why trying to be "enough" for them will never work.

In this episode:

— Stop trying to convince people who've already decided who you are

— Jealousy is usually not about you, it's about them

— Not everyone deserves access to you

— Never shrink yourself to make others comfortable

— Success reveals people

— The opposite of jealousy is inspiration

— Never complain, never explain

— You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to

— Stop making peace your responsibility alone

If you've ever felt exhausted from trying to explain yourself to people who won't listen, or like your success makes certain people uncomfortable this episode is for you.

Leave a voice message to be featured on the next episode

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You were taught that selfishness is a bad word for a woman to be.

Margarita disagrees and she's about to prove it.

In this episode, Margarita breaks down why selfishness is the missing ingredient in your manifestation, your relationships, your boundaries, and your life and why self-sacrifice has been quietly running you dry.

05:46 – #1: Selfish women ask for what they want

08:04 – #2: Selfish women don't volunteer for self sacrifice

10:23 – #3: Selfish women are not afraid to disappoint people

12:11 – #4: Selfish women spend money on themselves

14:56 – #5: Selfish women protect their energy

16:24 – #6: Selfish women have higher standards

17:39 – #7: Selfish women understand the irony of life

If you've ever felt depleted from doing everything for everyone, resentful in your relationships but unable to say why, or afraid to

ask for what you actually want this episode is for you.

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