CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Jordan Pickell is the author of Untangling the Ties That Bind: Heal Enmeshment Trauma and Break Dysfunctional Patterns with Family Members. Jordan joins Whitney to explain why enmeshment can feel endearing from the inside. They discuss how to separate closeness and cultural values from control. They also talk about being a parent who grew up enmeshed and how to raise kids without swinging into a new version of the same pattern.

Jordan’s Book: Untangling the Ties That Bind: Heal Enmeshment Trauma and Break Dysfunctional Patterns with Family Members: https://www.amazon.com/Untangling-Ties-That-Bind-Dysfunctional/dp/164848848X

Follow Jordan on Instagram: @jordanpickellcounselling

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of physical and emotional abuse by a parent.

This week Whitney answers three questions on spending time with family during the holidays. One listener finally enjoys the holidays since skipping her authoritarian parents' Christmas and wants to know what happens when she runs out of excuses. Another listener asks whether to FaceTime her in-laws after a grandmother snapped at her husband in front of their kids. The third listener can't plan a visit to the nieces and nephews she adores because every trip stalls on "what about dad?"

Spend the holidays with us at Calling Home!

Use the code THREE at checkout to save 50% on your first month until 11:59 PM ET on November 1. : http://www.callinghome.co/holidays

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

You have about four weeks until Thanksgiving. Many people spend them dreading it and then repeat last year's holiday all over again. Whitney responds to comments she got on Instagram about the hardest parts of the holidays. A handful of themes emerged including grief, other people's expectations, faking it, and watching everyone else's family. She also speaks to the parents and siblings who have been told "we're not coming this year."

Spend the holidays with us at Calling Home!

Use the code THREE at checkout to save 50% on your first month until 11:59 PM ET on November 1. : http://www.callinghome.co/holidays

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of childhood emotional neglect, verbal and physical abuse, and parental abduction.

How does a grandmother who was loving and steady to you raise a daughter who couldn't be? A fellow therapist writes in about exactly that, and Whitney offers a gentler way to hold both truths at once. In the second letter, a listener describes growing up in seven schools and eight houses after her mother moved the kids away from their father and kept them from him, then learning decades later that his side of the story was very different from the one she was told.

Sign up to spend the holidays with us at Calling Home: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/NZRkOwOP

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney is fed up with how the "concept creep" of estrangement gets used to shut down conversations about real family harm. She traces the term back to psychologist Nick Haslam's actual 2016 research, then walks through decades of data that make the case these harms aren't new, just newly named.

Sign up to spend the holidays with us at Calling Home: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/NZRkOwOP

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of child abuse, sexual abuse of a child, infidelity, and family estrangement.

A listener writes in with a lifetime of family secrets. She asks Whitney how to heal and move forward after finally breaking a cycle her parents and grandparents never did. Whitney draws the line between a parent's past regret and a child's present safety, and makes the case for why believing her daughter was the real act of breaking the cycle.

Sign up to spend the holidays with us at Calling Home: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/NZRkOwOP

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Journalist Ashley Oerman joins Whitney to talk about her new book, Motherf*cked: How to Stop Your Mother's Toxic Drama from Ruining Your Life, and the low contact relationship with her own mother that inspired it.

Connect with Ashley Oerman Book, Motherf*cked: How to Stop Your Mother's Toxic Drama from Ruining Your Life: https://link.amazon/B0jexMTjK

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

The Emotional Support Newsletter on Substack: https://ashleyoerman.substack.com

Follow Ashley on Instagram: @ashleyoerman

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

A listener spent years hoping her two divorced, emotionally immature parents would finally take accountability, only to watch the same excuses repeat with new partners. Whitney answers the question of whether parents ever really change later in life and how to handle it if they don’t.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Every dysfunctional family needs somewhere to put the blame, and one person usually ends up holding it for everyone else. Whitney traces the history of the word scapegoat, then walks through the research on why one child gets cast as the family's problem: not because of what they did, but because of what the family needed.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney answers two listener questions this week: one from a woman who's been cut off by her parents because of her marriage and another from a woman who found her family badmouthing her, her marriage, and her parenting in a separate family group text.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of domestic violence, violence against women, and past abuse.

Whitney talks with Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of the twin books Raising Conscious Sons and Raising Conscious Daughters, about what boys and girls each need to thrive right now in our current society. The through-line: you can't hand your child a self you haven't worked on, and it is never too late to start.

Connect with Dr. Shefali Tsabary Website: https://www.drshefali.com/

Raising Conscious Sons: http://www.drshefali.com/raisingconscious-daughters-sons/

Raising Conscious Daughters: http://www.drshefali.com/raisingconscious-daughters-sons/

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney answers questions from listeners. The first from a woman who despite living blocks from her aging father can’t seem to connect with him. The second question is from a mother planning for the day her estranged mother tries to contact her kids.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of childhood physical and emotional abuse, neglect, and the death of a parent.

Psychologist Dr. Sherrie Campbell, creator of the viral TikTok series on "low effort families”, joins Whitney to unpack what it looks like to show up just enough to avoid blame while giving almost nothing that children really need.

Connect with Dr. Sherrie Campbell Website: https://drsherriecampbell.com

Buy Dr. Campbell's Book: You Are Home: https://drsherriecampbell.com/self-esteem-relationship-counseling-in-yorba-linda/

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of emotional abuse, ongoing harassment, and a mention of suicidal ideation.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers a woman whose parents keep sending guilt-laden texts and showing up uninvited. In the second question, a listener's therapist keeps telling her to decide what she wants from her parents before she feels ready.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of child abuse and corporal punishment.

Stephanie Warren was taught that her parents beating her was proof of their love, because in the fundamentalist Christian world she grew up in, that was what love was allowed to look like. She and Whitney talk through how her parents rationalized the abuse, why she eventually went no contact, and what it took to build a life and an education she was never supposed to have.

Connect with Stephanie Warren: https://thestrongwilledchild.substack.com/

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of child abuse and domestic violence.

In this Q&A episode, answers a question from a woman whose parents responded to her request for space by suing her for access to her children. In the second question, from a man whose mother stayed with an abusive partner and is still with him today. He asks what to make of a parent who chose someone else over her kids.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

People don't walk into a therapist's office and say they're having a differentiation problem. They say they feel like a different person around their family, or that they have a whole life their parents know nothing about. Whitney walks through what differentiation actually is, and the four very different situations people are in when they can't be themselves around family.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- What differentiation means in Bowen family systems, and the three ways it commonly goes wrong

- The difference between a family that disagrees with you and one that targets who you are

- Why going no contact doesn't automatically differentiate you from your family

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers two questions from listening asking what their responsibility is to people who aren’t going to change. In question one: a stepmom asks how much to intervene with a 19 year old stepson who is getting pulled back into a controlling household. In question two: a woman who seeks advice about parents who give her migraines and stomachaches every time they call.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This episode discusses suicide, postpartum psychosis, and the deaths of children, and includes detailed discussion of the Lindsay Clancy case.

The Lindsay Clancy trial revealed a family that was educated, involved, genuinely, and yet still could not see how much danger their family member was in. This is not an episode about what the Clancys did wrong. It's about why people conceal what they're going through even from the people closest to them, and what questions actually work when you're worried about someone you love.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- The research on which question phrasings actually produce honest disclosure, and which shut it down

- What HIPAA does and does not prevent you from telling a family member's provider

- How to follow up after the first conversation, and what to observe when the answers don't match what you're seeing

Resources Whitney recommends:

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988)

Postpartum Support International Helpline: 1-800-944-4773

Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net

The Columbia Protocol for families, friends, and neighbors is available free online

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers questions about parents who pull back instead of facing accountability. In question one: a father goes silent for a year after his daughter discovers he secretly bought her sister a house. In question two: a mother wants a third family therapy session, after quitting the last two the moment the therapist named something she didn't like.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See https://acast.com/privacy for more information.