Come Together with Erin + Abe Lichy

Abe has been quiet for a long time, and now that’s over. This week, he’s clearing up the Pavit rumor (he did not tell Erin, for the record), defending his Cuban heritage from people on the internet who have too much time and too many opinions, and explaining why starting a mezcal brand is actually the opposite of cultural appropriation. Erin is also defending herself — her Arabic roots, her gossip, her parenting, and her right to say “khalas” without being called a Zio. Nothing is off limits today.

Also on today’s agenda: bedtime is a legitimate battlefield, one martini plus one glass of wine is apparently Erin’s limit now, and they’re going to Nevis for Thanksgiving with the full expectation that the food will be a miss

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We finally caved and got our 11-year-old a phone. Here’s the thing though: it was actually the right call. Not for every kid, but for him. We talk about how we made the decision, the contract we made him sign, and why this is genuinely not a one-size-fits-all debate. Also, our 18-month-old grabbed Abe’s shoes at bedtime and personally escorted him to Riverside Park. I'm convinced he's a baby genius.

Plus the pumping era, Dead & Co at The Sphere, a yacht in Ibiza, and why a man who volunteers opinions on your body is a red flag, period.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Abe sits down with Jason Zeffir — pop culture creator, debut novelist, and now podcaster — to talk about building an audience from scratch, what it actually takes to grow on Instagram, and why his literary agents eventually had to go. Jason’s book, Zombies of the Upper East Side, is part divorce story, part zombie apocalypse, and apparently the agents weren’t sure about the zombie part. They also get into the double standard around unlikable female characters, reality TV escapism vs. the void, The Swan documentary (yes, Terry Dubrow was there), and Jason’s new podcast Slay Replay, which is a Buffy rewatch and also kind of everything else.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The new RHONY season has begun and Erin and Abe are finally talking about it. They clear up the headlines (disputes, not debts — there’s a real difference), react to the Jessel moments, and discuss what it’s actually like watching yourself on TV months after filming. Also on the agenda: Mezcalum updates, Lioness is a must-watch, and they’re heading to Paris for Fashion Week — including a Celine Dion concert that Abe was once dragged to and definitely, absolutely cried at.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Brooke Taylor — career coach and author of Healing the Success Wound — comes on to talk about the thing high-achieving women don't want to admit: that the drive to do more, be more, and accomplish more is sometimes a wound dressed up as ambition. She breaks down the five types of unfulfilled achievers (Erin immediately claims "work hard, play hard" and "grinder," which tracks), why dopamine hits in the anticipation of success and not the success itself, and what it actually looks like to want things without making your whole identity contingent on getting them.

Get More Brooke

ORDER BROOKE'S BOOK 'Healing the Success Would' HERE!

@brookevtaylor

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

September was a lot. Erin's been running around nonstop, Abe's been holding down the fort, and Levi got himself on a yacht. They kick things off with the Stassi Schroeder show — what Abe related to about Beau, why a man suffering on camera is actually not that complicated, and the five-second editing format that might be changing reality TV forever. Then it's audience questions: spacing out your kids, night nurses (and why Erin didn't get one until baby four), sleep training without the cry-it-out guilt, keeping the spark alive when you have four kids and approximately zero time, and whether the spark even has to be there all the time. Spoiler: it doesn't.

Also, go outside. Get off the apps.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Erin's out. Abe's in charge. What could go wrong.

This week Abe takes your questions solo — and doesn't sugarcoat a single answer. Should your spouse come before your kids? Yes. Is it okay to go to bed angry? Also yes. Is a little jealousy healthy? Absolutely. Are men actually simple creatures? Mostly, but they need more hugs than they'll ever admit.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For a long time, Erin has been waiting to open up about how grief has shown up in her life. But the time wasn't right, until now.

If you've ever lost someone and tried to keep moving anyway — you'll recognize this. The repressing, the distracting, the moment your body finally forces you to stop. Erin shares what happened after her dad died, what showed up physically when the grief ran out of places to hide, and how Nicole Sachs helped her understand what was actually going on.

Whether you've dealt with chronic pain, anxiety, autoimmune stuff, or just feel like your body is working against you, this episode is for you.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Serena Kerrigan is in the building, and she has a book, a boyfriend, and approximately 600 men worth of dating experience to draw from. We cover all of it.

We get into why wanting a relationship has somehow become embarrassing, why the talking stage is ruining everything, and why butterflies might actually be a red flag. Serena makes the case for rebranding dating as fun — and explains why the women who stop trying so hard are always the ones who find someone. We also get into first date etiquette (drinks, not dinner, and definitely not Nobu), why sex on the first date almost always leads to spiraling, and what it actually means to let yourself be pursued without losing your edge.

Her book Let's Fcking Dateis out September 22nd.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, hear us out...

Erin's not here this week. So naturally Abe brought in a very special guest: Claude. Yeah, the AI. We're honestly just suprised it took him this long to do it.

Together, they cover AI relationships, consciousness, mortality, the three things quietly killing most marriages, and whether presence can survive the attention economy. It's a philosophy episode disguised as something weirder.

We know. Just trust us on this one.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're recording this one from the Maidstone in East Hampton, which means we're relaxed, slightly sleep-deprived, and ready to get into it.

The topic: scorekeeping in relationships — what it actually looks like, why it's so easy to fall into, and how defensiveness is basically its evil twin. We get into the detail-oriented partner debate (Erin has thoughts, Abe has counterpoints, neither fully wins), why how you ask for help matters as much as asking for it, and what it actually means to operate as a unit instead of two people keeping tabs.

We also go on a tangent about the algorithm, cancel culture, comment section wars, and why people who curse at old ladies in their cars are the same people saying unhinged things online. It made sense in the moment. Enjoy!

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's just Erin today, and I've got a lot to say.

You sent in your marriage questions and I'm answering all of them — unfiltered, no notes, no Abe to interrupt me. We get into the biggest lesson marriage has actually taught me, how to know when a relationship is worth fighting for versus when to walk away, and whether love is enough. (The answer is complicated.)

Also: why I don't think happy couples fight less, why intimacy can't be optional, what it actually means to reconnect after a big argument, and why you should absolutely be paying attention to how your partner treats their mother.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We get into the husband habits that need to be addressed (loud chewing is a crime, dental hygiene is private), why Erin didn't change her name for 11 years and what finally made her do it, and the sorority hazing story that has genuinely never come up before. It involves rotten eggs, a basement, and something we're not going to explain further. You'll have to listen.

We also revisit the chase — why playing it a little cool still works, why over-texting kills the vibe even when you're married, and why some version of mystery is just always gonna be hot. Plus: House of the Dragon, the Rothschilds, and whether two people in a relationship can both be shopaholics. (They cannot.)

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've been wanting to have Dr. Shefali on for a while, and this conversation did not disappoint. She's a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and one of the most clear-eyed people we've heard talk about what's actually happening to this generation of kids — and what parents can do about it.

We get into the crisis of masculinity and why boys are being pathologized for being boys, the war on girls' authenticity, and why the algorithm is essentially raising our children whether we like it or not. She also gets into conscious parenting, the difference between controlling your kid and connecting with them, and why boredom is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child right now.

There's a moment in here where she says, "Wake the f up." She means it. So do we.

Get More Dr. Shefali

Instagram

Order 'Raising Conscious Sons & Daughters'

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've been getting real estate questions forever, so here it is — the full story, from the 670K railroad-adjacent apartment in Hell's Kitchen to the Bushwick two-family we bought off a construction frame, to the Hamptons house nobody wanted because grandma had wallpapered every single room.

We walk through every flip, every 1031 exchange, every moment we almost overcomplicated it, and what we actually learned. The big takeaway: stop buying real estate for yourself. Buy it for the market you're eventually selling to.

We also get into why renting your city apartment is not the flex people think it is, why a dump with good bones will always beat a pretty property with bad ones, and what we just picked up upstate — four acres on a creek for reasons that will make sense once we explain it.

None of this is legal or tax advice. But it is everything we know.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Special Edition: We're recording this one from Baha Mar, which sounds glamorous until you factor in four kids, an early flight, a sleepover the night before, and a baby who definitely didn't nap enough.

We talk about the wellness industrial complex and why all the cold plunges and sleep scores might actually be making you more stressed, not less. Then we get into what's actually worked — cooking at home, heavy weights, and the gamified abusive AI coach Abe built for himself that calls him a fat piece of shit if he skips the gym. It's a whole thing.

And then it goes somewhere unexpected. We end up talking about grief, losing a parent, and that strange moment on the other side of it where you feel both older and somehow freer. Abe talks about meeting his dad on his journey. We didn't plan to go there, but we did.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've been thinking a lot about what it actually means to raise a daughter — and this week we go there. Erin gets into how her relationship with her dad shaped everything: her confidence, her career, the reason no man has ever made her feel small. Abe gets into the pressure of getting it right with Layla, and why making her feel safe being herself is the whole job.

We also get into the patriarchy, which we don't fully agree on. Surprising to no one.

Then we debut a new segment: things that annoy us. Slow walkers who stop in the middle of the sidewalk, over-apologizing in texts, couples who call each other baby (Abe has a theory about this and it's unhinged), and the long birthday post that is actually a red flag. You'll know exactly what we mean.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Gabriella Pomari is a divorce lawyer from Australia who got so tired of watching families break from the process that she built an entire platform to help couples before they ever need her. We loved her.

We get into the patterns she sees over and over — silent quitting, the invisible load, what it actually means when you stop wanting to share your news with your partner first. She breaks down her four pillars of communication, why the pause is more powerful than winning the argument, and how to ask your partner for space without them thinking you're blowing everything up.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You asked, I answered — and nothing was off limits.

We get into why you haven't seen the new house yet (it's coming, I promise), the insecurities I actually have even if I seem confident, and yes, the full breakdown on the breast surgery — what I got, who I'd recommend researching, and the things nobody tells you until after.

We also talk postpartum timelines, intuitive eating, the workout routine that keeps me sane, why I put almost everything back into real estate, and what Abe and I will actually do when the kids are grown. Spoiler: I'm not worried.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week we chat with Amy Chan, a relationship expert and author of the new book, "Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts." We get into the highs and lows of modern dating, how to differentiate between chemistry and an activated nervous system, and why people are preferring IRL experiences over dating apps. Amy also explains the phenomenon of "over-icking" and how women will refuse a second date because of a tiny quirk! She talks about her dating bootcamps, the skills she teaches participants, and we even get into people falling in love with their AI chatbots. Whether you're actively dating, recovering from heartbreak, or looking for a healthier approach to love, this conversation offers actionable advice for finding deeper, more meaningful connections.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.