Podcast
Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage
Did you know the Hebrew root word for marriage is the same as mess? Okay, maybe not, but it wasn’t a stretch to believe, right? This is the podcast for Christian married couples who are in the middle of a messy moment. They need to laugh. They need clear, practical advice. And they need to hear from someone with an actual degree in this thing. Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley are those people. They have reached millions of couples through their counseling practices, books, events, and work at Focus on the Family.
- Relationships chart
- #41
- Episodes
- 194
- Releases
- Weekly
- Typical length
- 53 min
- On air since
- 2023
- Latest episode
- 1 day ago
Episodes
194 episodes, newest first
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56 min
Your Marriage Is Your Kids' First Sex Ed Class
Episode 193
Show notes
Kids learn what love and intimacy look like long before anyone sits them down for the talk. Author John Fort, whose own childhood was marked by sexual abuse and years of silence, joins Greg and Erin Smalley to talk about how a marriage teaches children about sex, how spouses can share their sexual histories safely, when and how parents should start talking with their kids, and how a couple can heal intimacy after sexual trauma.
Don't Stress Talking Sex by John Fort, for moms and dads who want confident conversations with their kids about sexhttps://linktw.in/fotf-marr-assessment
Launch into the Teen Years, a video curriculum for starting these conversations long before adolescence
The free Marriage Assessment shows you and your spouse where your marriage is strong and where it needs work
Take the free Reactive Cycle Assessment to see which buttons get pushed in your conflicts
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32 min
Understanding Trust In Marriage
Show notes
Can your marriage survive a big storm? Join Dr.s Greg and Erin Smalley as they share intimate details about how they've learned to trust one another. Using the example of the La Jument lighthouse in Ushant, France, we'll learn how trust grows, what destroys trust, and how trust isn't a "once and for all" issue in marriage.
Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage
Learn More About Hope Restored
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39 min
Healing From Infidelity Trauma
Episode 191
Show notes
Has your spouse cheated on you? Drs. Greg and Erin Smalley host a conversation on infidelity recovery, focusing on when betrayed spouses feel stuck or unmotivated to heal. Joining them is Pastor Brad Hambrick, author of “True Betrayal: Nine Steps to Processing Your Spouse’s Infidelity.” This conversation dives into true transparency, accountability, and assessing deeper relational problems beyond the affair. Even if you know someone who has gone through this experience, make sure you pick up Brad's book and share it as a gift!
True Betrayal: 9 Steps for Processing Your Spouse's Infidelity
Recovering From An Affair Article
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49 min
Men Embracing Chivalrous Marriages
Episode 190
Show notes
Drs. Greg and Erin Smalley welcome Pastor Seth Troutt, author of Authentic Masculinity, to discuss God’s design for masculinity in marriage and parenting, while contrasting it with “the manosphere” counterfeits. If you want to collaborate with your spouse, encourage and understand Biblical leadership, as well as cherish and nurture your life choice in new ways, Seth explains how men and women can work together and live as Godly examples. In a Q&A, we answer a wife's question on how to address a defensive husband. We'll also share how to create a family motto.
Authentic Masculinity: Leaving Behind the Counterfeits for God’s Design
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34 min
Your Emotions Matter (Part 2 of 2)
Episode 189
Show notes
Dr. Erin and Dr. Greg Smalley continue their discussion with Debra Fileta about emotional awareness, warning against “spiritual bypassing” that skips hard feelings with spiritual phrases. We also talk about the impact of trauma as either muting emotions or creating hypervigilance and “false alarms.” Healing your emotions can happen. Listen to this conversation and honestly ask "Where am I in all of this?" Reach out to our counseling department if you need more help.
Get the Book: Are You Really OK?
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple.
Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
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50 min
Your Emotions Matter (Part 1 of 2)
Episode 188
Show notes
Do you prioritize spiritual health while neglecting emotional health? Have you intentionally aligned with the Holy Spirit when it comes to your feelings? Drs. Erin and Greg Smalley discuss cultural stigmas around expressing emotions with Debra Fileta, author of Are You Really Okay? They outline conversational levels, how to check in with your spouse, and what NOT to talk about on date nights. The listener Q&A involves a stressed out wife who hasn't set clear boundaries. This is just the beginning of this important conversation.
Get the Book: Are You Really OK?
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple.
Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
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58 min
Marriage: The Creation of Us
Episode 187
Show notes
Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley interview Pastor Kevin A. Thompson about his book The Creation of Us. Kevin emphasizes that marriage is its own entity where both spouses maintain individuality while building shared rhythms, mission, and unity. We talk about good dependence versus independence or enmeshment, how marriage reveals and can help heal attachment wounds, and “marital attention deficit.” We'll outline the phases of marriage and we answer a listener question about weaponizing sex.
The Creation of Us: How To Build A Great Marriage Without Losing YourselfLove Styles: Why You Love The Way You Do (And How to Change It)
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
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42 min
The Manosphere (Part 2 of 2)
Episode 186
Show notes
We're continuing our discussion of the “manosphere,” reviewing how it distorts headship and submission and focusing on three additional lies: that emotional vulnerability is weakness, that women are biologically untrustworthy, and that a wife’s body belongs to her husband. Greg and Erin contrast these ideologies with scriptures calling husbands to sacrificially love, cherish, nourish, honor, and create safety so a wife can flourish. We'd love to hear your thoughts on these episodes, so click on the show notes to get in touch with us.
Bearded Gospel Men: The Epic Quest for Manliness & Godliness
What Is Biblical Leadership Articl
Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
Speak With A Counselor -
34 min
The Manosphere (Part 1 of 2)
Episode 185
Show notes
Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss the Manosphere and the “Christian Manosphere." This is a program that you want to share with all the men in your life. Greg shares research from months of reading forums and explains the first three of six lies that many men are believing. We also go into what submission means for women. Part two is coming up next week, and we can't wait to hear your thoughts after listening to these programs.
Bearded Gospel Men: The Epic Quest for Manliness & Godliness
Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
Speak With A Counselor -
56 min
Laying the Foundation for Your Legacy
Episode 184
Show notes
Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss what it means to leave a marital legacy by building a healthy foundation -- with intentional core values -- rather than living by default. Guest Lain McCanless of Rally Your Family describes practical tools to guide decisions, unify spouses, and model faithfulness across generations.This is something you can start today! Then, Greg and Erin share how they fashioned their family crest, and they encourage you try this exercise with your family. Plus, they answer a listener question about leaving a husband who has pawned family heirlooms.
Finishing Well: Biblical Lessons to Maximize Your Later Years
Join The Focus On The Family Strengthening Marriages Facebook Group
Here's Information on a Healing Separation
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
The "Be" List -
54 min
Don't Let the Weight of the Past Crush Your Marriage
Episode 183
Show notes
Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley are joined by Bob Lepine to discuss how guilt, shame, and past wounds affect marriage. If unresolved hurts are triggering conflict in your relationship, listen to this episode and then share it with your spouse. We also talk about building a healthy sexual relationship and adjusting unrealistic expectations shaped by culture. You'll learn how self-regulate when you go into fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses, too. Plus, we answer a listener question about how to move forward when someone's medical treatment has changed them.
Building A Stronger Marriage: The Path To Oneness
Hope Restored
Conflict Style Quiz
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
Speak With A Counselor -
55 min
Adaptability in Marriage
Episode 182
Show notes
Does it feel like your life is being interrupted? Financial issues, health concerns, and disagreements with family members can all throw a wrench into our plans. Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley talk with Julie Plagens, who describes common interruptions in her life. We address the need for control, people-pleasing, and messages from how a strict faith background fueled anger and unforgiveness. Greg and Erin also talk about benefits of spending time outdoors together, and they answer a listener about chronic blame in marriage. This is a "meat & potatoes" episode we know you'll enjoy.
Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love
Hope Restored
Conflict Style Quiz
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
Speak With A Counselor -
58 min
Affair Prevention & Recovery
Episode 181
Show notes
Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley focus on infidelity with Brad and Tami Miller. They discuss how couples drift through busyness, unmet emotional needs, validation-seeking, social media connections, and contrast emotional vs. physical affairs. They also have helpful ideas for couples to avoid the "chore war" and they tackle a listener question about a wife who seems to weaponize the mistakes her husband made in the past. If you know someone who has experienced infidelity, share this link with them!
Anatomy of An Affair
Join Our Facebook Group!
Hope Restored
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
Speak With A Counselor -
56 min
Support For An InterFaith Marriage
Episode 180
Show notes
You're really going to be blessed by this program, even if you and your spouse share the same faith. Greg and Erin talk with David McIver, author of Looking For The One. David teaches that loving a spiritually different spouse means seeing them through Jesus’ eyes and praying about where the trust was first broken rather than focusing on behavior. Greg and Erin also talk about a couple that have been married for 84 years, and they answer a listener question about inter-faith marriage and children.
Looking For The One: Stories of Seeing The Lost, Lonely, and Broken Through The Eyes of Jesus
Avoiding Marriage Pitfalls
Find ALL of the Focus On The Family Podcast!
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
Speak With A Counselor -
42 min
Rapid Fire Q & A
Episode 179
Show notes
Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley host a rapid-fire episode answering common marriage questions from both a husband and a wife perspective - with timed responses! They discuss whether spouses should check in when apart, address hidden purchases as “financial infidelity,” evaluate location sharing and phone/social media access, and other common questions couples have. Ultimately, this is to help you and your spouse discuss what must be shared to maintain security, especially after betrayal, and how to respond without weaponizing.
The Reactive Cycle Assessment
Hope Restored
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
Speak With A Counselor -
39 min
Marrying Into Madness - Dealing with In-laws
Episode 178
Show notes
How is your relationship with your in-laws? Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss what research and experience reveals about in-law relationships, prompted by Erin being asked to speak to a moms group. If conflict, enabling behavior, and parenting disagreements with in-laws seem to take away the PEACE in your family - this is the podcast for you! Make sure you forward the link to other members of your family, too!
Married Into The Family
Article: How Your Relationship with Your In-Laws Impacts Your Marriage
Call Our Free Counseling Line at 1800-A-FAMILY
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email -
54 min
Anger Triggers in Marriage
Episode 176
Show notes
Do differences between you and your spouse trigger tension in your marriage? Greg and Erin talk with Amber Lia and offer tips to respond well and explore how miscommunication fuels anger. They discuss common conflict points like “chore wars,” the invisible mental load, and backseat driving, while emphasizing teamwork, communication, and going the extra mile. They also encourage you and your spouse to take the personality test, and they answer a listener's question about living with a depressed spouse.
Marriage Triggers: Exchanging Spouses' Angry Reactions for Gentile Biblical Responses
UnTriggered: 60 Days of Transformation for Moms Who Struggle With Anger
Reactive Cycle Tool
Hope Restored
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
Take The Animal Personality Test
How To Give Your Spouse Constructive Feedback -
57 min
Sparking the Marriage Fires, Pt. 2
Episode 175
Show notes
Get ready for Part Two of how to spark the fire in your marriage! Want to make your spouse feel special? Todd and Carolyn Petka share the "rocket fuel” for thriving marriages, and describe obstacles like unrealistic expectations, busy lives without margin, conflict styles, and family-of-origin wounds, that naturally leak energy and require intentional refueling. We'll look at the animal kingdom to help you understand your personality, and we have a listener Q & A about how to manage a family when your health is struggling.
The Relationship Rocket Formula
Check Out The Reactive Cycle Assessment
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53 min
Sparking the Marriage Fires, Pt. 1
Episode 174
Show notes
Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley speak with Pastors Todd and Carolyn Petkau about their Relationship Rocket Formula, comparing marriage to a rocket needing navigation, fuel, and spark! They encourage looking into Scritpture, deep “fuel and spark” questions, and creating safety through active listening and saying, “tell me more.” Greg and Erin also apply ideas to TV couples, then answer a listener question about overwhelm, grief, and criticism. This is a program for EVERY marriage.
The Relationship Rocket Formula
Check Out The Reactive Cycle Assessment
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58 min
Celebrating Fathers with Ken Davis
Episode 173
Show notes
What was your dad like growing up? Do you have good memories, or could things be better between you? Greg and Erin celebrate all dads with a special presentation from Pastor Ken Davis, who shares four important reminders based on Scripture in Malachi. We hope you'll be encouraged by this message, and that you'll share this podcast with those you love.
The Good Dad: Becoming The Father You Were Meant To Be
Check Out Our Special Podcast Series Celebrating Dads: Legacy Of Courage
Here Are Some Great Resources For Dad
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