Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

If a real third place opened in your neighborhood tomorrow, would you actually use it?

And I don't just mean would you walk in. I mean would you sit down next to a stranger, let the conversation go wherever it goes, and leave with a connection you didn't plan for?

We talk a lot about bringing third places back, and we should. Ray Oldenburg estimated that the US had lost about 90% of those everyday hangout spots! But what has to shift in us for those spaces to work?

My guest today is Karen Christensen, a writer, publisher, and environmentalist who corresponded with Ray for 20 years before they ever met in person, and is now carrying his work forward.

We've gotten so used to curating who we let in. We filter for the right age, the right life stage, the right personality and interests. Karen and I talk about why that habit might be part of the problem, and about a word she's a little obsessed with right now, propinquity!

We also get into why a third place isn't the same thing as a park or a library, why I still haven't found mine, and what you can do if your neighborhood doesn't have one at all.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The magic of bank lobbies, side patios, pub sheds, and other unique places to connect
• Why Karen used to find chatty older people annoying, and what changed her mind
• The two friends I’ve never met in person, and why they were my first call when I landed a book deal
• The turquoise picnic table Karen painted for her front yard, and the simple invitation she's working up to
• What Victorian novels can teach us about friendship and proximity

Resources & Links

Learn more about Karen on her Substack, The Way We Live Now.

Episode 38: Bringing Third Places Back To Our CommunitiesEpisode 39: Take Action: Reviving Third Places and Walkable CommunitiesEpisode 104: Getting Less Passive and More Active on Podcasts and Social Media with Sharon Walters

The Great Good Place by Ray Oldenburg

The Turquoise Table by Kristin Schell

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Just because someone is your sibling, cousin, or best friend, does that mean your relationship has to look a certain way?

For episode 200 (I still can't quite believe I'm saying that!), I'm digging into the titles we give the people in our lives.

Every one of those titles comes with expectations. We assume siblings are close, best friends show up for everything, and relationships with in-laws are complicated. But none of those assumptions tell us much about the actual relationship.

Using my roots of friendship framework, I walk through how these titles become inherited story roots — beliefs and expectations we've picked up from family, culture, and media without necessarily choosing them ourselves.

And when our actual relationships don't match those expectations? Sometimes we judge ourselves, question the relationship, and end up doing all the work, trying to make a relationship fit a title it was never going to live up to.

I'm not suggesting you lower your expectations or stop wanting close relationships with the people in your life.

But maybe it's worth asking whether there's a smaller, truer story that better reflects the relationship you actually have.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The coffee shop test for surfacing the expectations you didn't know you had about cousins, best friends, and in-laws
• Why the best friend title can leave you feeling like you're the one falling short
• The risk (and occasional magic) of deciding someone is your best friend after two hangouts
• What your reaction to someone else’s distant sibling relationship reveals about your own expectations

Resources & Links

Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Types of Friendship Roots

Episode 50: Confession: I’ve Never Had a Best Friend

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

What if you stopped needing to “fix” your friends?

In this episode, certified trauma care practitioner Stacey Uhrig and I are talking about the “invisible backpacks” we all carry into our friendships.

Inside that backpack are the lived experiences, beliefs, interpretations, protective patterns, and survival strategies someone has collected throughout their life. And when you look at friendship through that lens, a lot of things start to shift.

Stacey and I talk through what it looks like to get curious about a friend’s behavior, from the hyper-independent friend, the friend who keeps canceling, and the relationships where you understand someone, but still have to ask yourself whether the friendship is working for you.

We also talk about the part most of us would rather skip: our own backpack.

Because yes, your friend might have a protective pattern. They might have a reason they don’t accept help, confide in you, show up consistently, or respond the way you wish they would. But your reaction to their behavior also comes from somewhere.

And sometimes the most useful question is, “why does this matter so much to me?”

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How the urge to help a friend can sometimes reveal more about your nervous system than theirs
• Why positive moments like birthdays, gifts, or being celebrated can still feel uncomfortable
• How a hyper-independent friend who refuses meals, check-ins, or support might not be rejecting you at all
• Stacey’s trauma-informed critique of the “let them” theory
• Why some lifelong friendships feel impossible to walk away from, even when the connection no longer fits

Resources & Links

Learn more about Stacey’s work on her website, Flip Your Mindset.

Episode 145: How To Reframe Rejection and Build Stronger Connections

Episode 167: How To Ask Someone To Hang Out (Without Making It Weird)

Episode 192: Disappointment Is the Cost of Friendship

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Have you ever seen someone else’s friendship online and immediately felt that little pang?

One day I started thinking about the TV show Friends, and girls’ trips, and the friend groups online who live next door to each other or travel with five families or somehow make the version of friendship we imagined look effortless.

And then I had to stop myself, because I have beautiful friendships and do cool things with my friends all the time. So why did one reel on social media make me feel like I was missing out?

In today’s episode, I’m talking about the gap between the friendship vision in your head and the season of friendship you’re actually living. Sometimes that gap shows us something we want more of. Sometimes it reveals a choice we could start making. And sometimes, if we look a little closer, we realize we already have a version of what we wanted — it just doesn’t look exactly like the image we had in mind.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How friendship fantasies from sitcoms, movies, books, and social media can become a measuring stick for our real lives
• Why the friendships you have right now reflect your location, values, priorities, and the season you’re in
• Why friendship planning is a little like money planning, and how to create a more spontaneous friendship culture
• How to notice the version of your friendship dream that is already happening in this season

Resources & Links

Episode 179: What Is Friendship Culture? (And How To Shift It Without Blowing Everything Up)

Episode 89: Want a Couch Friend? You Need to Be a Couch Friend

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Everyone is talking about building a village right now. It’s on social media, in parenting forums, in wellness content, in the conversations we have when we’re exhausted and lonely and wondering why support feels so hard to find.

But how many of us have actually experienced a REAL village? Today’s guest, Tom Karrel, has spent a lot of time thinking about it.

Tom is the author of The Lost Art of Random Conversations, and he has more than 10,000 hours of group facilitation experience across 45 countries. He also spent years living and working in Uganda, including in rural village communities where the pace, expectations, and social fabric look very different from the way many of us live in the U.S.

In this episode, Tom and I talk about what it felt like to enter a 350-person Ugandan village as an outsider, how learning to greet people in the local language became a bridge, and why “going first” is often the only way into connection.

We also talk about time, uncertainty, social trust, Ring doorbells, random conversations, Seattle sidewalks, Mexican fishermen, and what it means to put your phone away long enough to notice the person standing in front of you.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How being visibly different forced Tom to practice vulnerability, humility, and going first over and over again
• What living in a 350-person village taught Tom about presence, schedules, and the way we prioritize tasks vs. people
• Why the interruptions we avoid might be the exact moments that make life feel more connected
• What the “Seattle Freeze” has to do with social trust, small risks, and choosing to smile at strangers anyway
• Why fumbling through a new language in a Ugandan village is not that different from trying to make friends at a gym

Resources & Links

Check out Tom’s book, The Lost Art of Random Conversations and learn more about him on his website.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Do you talk about money with your friends? Money can bring up jealousy, comparison, shame, judgment, and all kinds of feelings we may not want to bring into our friendships.

But I also think there is so much power in these conversations.

You do not have to start by sharing your salary, your mortgage payment, or the amount in your savings account. Sometimes talking about money means sharing a budgeting app, a credit card strategy, a financial goal, a resource, a work benefit, a business decision, or the reason you are saying no to a trip this year.

In this episode, I’m walking through the five layers of talking about money with friends, the kinds of money conversations I’ve had recently, and why even the lower-pressure layers can give us more understanding, more grace, and more possibility in our friendships and our lives.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why a story shared at girls’ night changed the way I think about credit and financial independence
• Why benefits, PTO, 401k matches, and health insurance can be easier entry points than salary when talking about work and money
• How knowing a friend’s financial goals can help you understand their “no” without taking it personally
• Why talking about money can bring up jealousy, comparison, or feeling left behind
• Why even a “layer one” money conversation might open a door your friend did not know was available

Resources & Links

Episode 61: The Layers of Talking About Money With Friends

Episode 168: Jealous of a Friend? Here’s What That Feeling Is About

Episode 181: The Secrets We Keep (for Our Friends)

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

We have so many rituals for romantic love, between weddings, anniversaries, showers, and celebrations. But what do we have for friendship?

Today I’m talking with Jennifer Hobbs, owner of Rhinestone Wedding Chapel in Nashville and creator of Bestiemony, a friendship commitment ceremony she created after realizing that the vows she hears at weddings every day also sounded a lot like the promises her best friends had been keeping for years.

Jennifer shares what actually happens inside of one of these ceremonies, and why saying the thing out loud can change the way you see a friendship going forward. We talk about the friends who get us through the heartbreaks, hard seasons, and everyday emotional spirals — and how strange it is that these relationships often only get a few lines in someone else’s wedding speech or a heartfelt paragraph after they’re gone.

If these are some of the most important relationships in our lives, why wouldn’t we want to celebrate them while our friends are here to actually hear it?

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The matching outfits, friendship backstories, written vows, pinky promises that make up Jennifer’s tiny chapel
• Why filming the ceremony matters, and Jennifer’s dream to turn this into a traveling girl’s weekend
• How watching other best friends tell their stories could help someone understand what a “good” friendship can look like
• Why the uniqueness of a Bestiemony might feel uncomfortable or even awkward at first

Resources & Links

Learn more about Rhinestone Wedding Chapel and Bestiemony.

Episode 19: The One for Little Alex

Episode 188: Are Birthdays Doing Too Much Work In Our Friendships?

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Have you ever realized that every time you hang out with certain friends, you do the exact same thing?

That happened to me recently with a group of friends. We were all sitting around my living room when one friend named what I think a lot of us had been feeling: the hangout was still good, but it had started to feel stale.

In today’s episode, I’m talking about what it can mean when a friendship starts to feel like it is maintaining instead of growing. Because I think there is a big difference between a friendship that is dying and a friendship that needs a refresh.

Sometimes you just need to ask different questions, change the container, or grow a few new roots in a friendship that has been relying on the same old ones for a while.

If you have a friendship that still matters to you, but the routine has started to feel a little too routine, this episode is for you.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How Alex’s friend group created a shared list of museum nights, supper clubs, rugby games, and weekend trip ideas
• Why a stale friendship might be one where you are watering the plant, but not seeing any new leaves
• How trying something you used to love together can bring back an earlier version of your friendship for one night
• The importance of changing one small variable, like the time of day, group size, location, or format

Resources & Links

Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Types of Friendship Roots

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Today’s episode is for the parents who have messaged me over and over again asking, “How do I help my teen daughter through friendship drama?” But it’s also for the adults who are realizing that some of their current friendship patterns may have started in those very formative years.

Sheri Gazitt, founder of Teen Wise, helps teen girls and their parents understand what is really happening underneath their friendship struggles.

We talk about why “girl drama” is not usually random, why labels like “mean girl” or “toxic friend” can stick in harmful ways, and why friendship is a skill teens need to be taught, not something they should be expected to magically know how to do.

We also discuss the role parents play, including what to do when our first instinct is to dismiss, dramatize, or fix, and how to guide teens without taking over their friendships completely.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why teen friendship drama starts with insecurity, fear of being replaced, or not having the skills to handle conflict
• How labels like “mean girl” and “toxic friend” can become identities teens carry into future friendships
• The 4 pillars Sheri uses with teen girls: identity, beliefs, emotional resilience, and interpersonal skills
• Why some girls feel safer in 1:1 friendships, and how bigger friend groups can create “floater friends”
• How teens and adults can avoid taking sides when conflict spreads throughout a group

Resources & Links

• Learn more about Sheri’s company, Teen Wise.
• Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Types of Friendship Roots
• Episode 15: Staying Curious & Managing Differences Within Friendships
• Episode 100: How To Use the Wheel of Connection to Strengthen Your Support System
• Episode 134: All About “Fringe Friends”
• Dive into the Wheel of Connection Guide

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Last week’s guest said something that really stuck with me: “The cost of community is disappointment.”

We feel disappointed when a friend cancels at the last minute, when someone doesn’t show up the way we hoped they would, when we feel left out, and when the birthday or baby shower or hard season does not look the way we imagined it would.

And most of us do not really want to admit how much disappointment exists inside our friendships, because we want friendship to feel like joy, ease, fun, support, and belonging.

In today’s episode, I’m talking about the many ways disappointment appears in friendship, why the opposite of disappointment might be apathy, and how I try to sit with it when it stings.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How canceled plans, missed milestones, and feeling left out can all become different versions of the same feeling
• Why I encourage my friends to hang out without me, and still sometimes feel sad when they do
• What slow-burn disappointments can do to a friendship
• How to tell the difference between a disappointment worth reflecting on and a repeated pattern

Resources & Links

Episode 146: Moving Past Inconvenience and Into the Joy of Helping

Episode 191: How To Make Mom Friends When the Village Doesn’t Just Appear

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Making new mom friends sounds simple enough until you’re actually in the thick of it, and that’s where Molly Menning found herself after becoming a full-time stay-at-home mom of two.

Many of her mom friends had gone back to work or had kids in different stages, and the daytime hours at home started to feel really isolating.

So she decided to try something simple: a weekly, drop-in playgroup at her house for local moms – and it worked!

In this episode, Molly talks about how she started the playgroup, the vulnerability of hosting, what happens when everyone cancels, and why the price of community might sometimes be disappointment.

If you’ve been waiting for someone else to create the thing you wish existed, this might be your nudge to go first.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why loneliness hit Molly differently when she became a full-time stay-at-home mom
• How a Canva invite turned into a weekly “come as you are” drop-in playgroup with coffee and kid snacks
• Why two moms showing up is not a failure, and how small gatherings can become the beginning of real community
• The reframe we all need when people cancel, plans shift, or the turnout is smaller than we hoped
• Why hosting does not have to mean cleaning your house, throwing a party, or doing everything yourself

Resources & Links

Episode 6: The Secret to Hosting a Gathering (Hint: You’re Probably Doing Too Much)

Episode 155: How to Host on Any Budget (and Not Fall Into the Martha Stewart Trap)

Episode 171: Why (and How) You Should Start Initiating Recurring Social Gatherings

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Have you ever come home from hanging out with a new friend and you spiral, wondering if you shared too much or scared them off?

I call this a new friend hangover. And in today’s episode, I want to talk about what happens when we rush into new friendships, especially when we are really, really hungry for connection.

So much of adult friendship advice tells us to open up, be vulnerable, share more, and let people in. I don’t think that advice is wrong, exactly. I just think it’s incomplete.

The coffee dates, the shared activities, the silly moments, the tiny details you notice about each other are all part of your friendship origin story, which is where a lot of roots start to grow.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How being hungry for connection can make us try to fast-forward a friendship before it has roots
• Why anxious “new friend hangovers” can show up after a hangout you were excited about
• Why taking pottery classes and sharing recipes can create small intimacies
• How to think about sharing from a scar instead of a wound when a friendship is still new

Resources & Links

Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Types of Friendship Roots

Episode 74: The Power of Vulnerability In Small Doses

Episode 100: How To Use the Wheel of Connection to Strengthen Your Support System

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

This episode will completely change how you show up for the people in your life when they are grieving or going through something.

Most of us have heard the advice about what to do when someone is grieving: bring the meal, send the gift card, walk the dog, take the kids, run the errand. And those things matter, but knowing what to say is where a lot of us panic.

Today I’m talking to Shelby Forsythia, a grief coach, author, and podcast host whose book, Of Course, I’m Here Right Now, gives us actual words to say when we don’t know what to say.

After years of working with grievers, Shelby started noticing that people were often telling themselves three stories: I’m crazy, I’m alone, and my life is going to feel like this forever. So she built three phrases to meet those stories.

In this episode, we talk about why hurtful words can fracture relationships after loss, why disappearing can be just as painful, and how the right words can help someone feel seen, believed, and less alone inside what they are carrying.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why Shelby believes words are one of the most accessible grief support tools we have
• The 3 phrases that don’t “fix”, bright-side, or rush someone through grief
• How someone can be physically present in a friendship but still emotionally vanish from the part of someone that is grieving
• The importance of sitting with someone in their “grief house” without trying to drag them into hope

Resources & Links

Learn more about Shelby on her website, and check out her book, Of Course, I’m Here Right Now.

Shelby also references the book, There Is No Good Card For This by Kelsey Crowe and Emily McDowell.

Episode 172: Unmuted Rooms and Judgment-Free Listening with Erin Snow

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Have you ever caught yourself on your birthday paying a little too much attention to your phone?

Noticing who texted, who posted, who sent a voice memo? What about who just “liked” your Instagram story but didn’t actually say anything? Who remembered, who didn’t, and what all of that might mean about how much they care about you.

For most of us, birthdays are one of the only times we explicitly tell our friends how much they mean to us. It’s the one day when all the evidence gets collected: did they remember, did they make an effort, did they show up in the way I hoped they would?

And if there aren’t many other moments throughout the year where we are saying these things out loud, then of course the birthday starts to feel loaded.

So in today’s episode, I’m talking about how we can build a culture inside our friendships where affirmation, appreciation, and “you matter to me” moments are not saved for one day a year. Your birthday can still be special, but it probably shouldn’t have to carry the full weight of proving where you stand in someone’s life.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why birthdays can start to feel like a friendship test, even when nobody wants them to be one
• Why a birthday text, card, party, or forgotten message can feel so loaded when there is not enough “you matter to me” evidence
• What story roots have to do with birthday expectations, and why our brains write loud stories about it
• How voice memos, shared notes, and friendship check-ins can help build a culture of affirmation beyond birthdays

Resources & Links

Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Types of Friendship Roots

Episode 37: You Don’t Need to Understand People to Accept Them

Episode 70: Separating Our Own Friendship Beliefs from Our Children’s with Pam Howard

Episode 179: What Is Friendship Culture? (And How to Shift it Without Blowing Everything Up)

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

It’s impossible to talk about friendship or community without the topic of loneliness.

What is loneliness doing inside the body? How is it affecting our hearts, our brains, our stress hormones, and our actual day-to-day health?

That’s exactly what we’re going to explore today with Dr. Alan Rozanski, a cardiologist who has spent decades studying this question: what allows people to truly flourish?

Dr. Rozanski breaks down his six domains of health: physical health, mental vitality, emotional mastery, purposeful living, stress management, and social connectivity. And, of course, social connectivity is what I was most excited to talk about!

This conversation gave me a lot to sit with, and I think it might do the same for you.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why the effects of social media can be both a lifeline and the “fast food” version of connection
• How to think about “minimum standards” for friendship, movement, purpose, and emotional well-being
• Dr. Rozanski’s six domains of health, and the vicious cycle that comes from just one low-ranking area
• How loneliness can become a cue we ignore or try to satisfy in the wrong place (plus, the stat that doesn’t tell the whole story)
• Vitality, and why it can give us a “North Pole” for understanding what our health needs

Resources & Links

Learn more about Dr. Alan Rozanski on his website.

Episode 58: You’re Not Doing It Wrong: Why Friendship Looks Different for Everyone

Episode 62: Finding Your Purpose Through Friendship with Mark Delaney of The Purpose Mastermind

Episode 125: Super Psyched: The 4 Types of Connection We All Need

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Have you ever left a hangout with a friend and felt like 95% of the hangout was normal, but the other 5% was just… off?

Maybe it was a comment that surprised you, or a value that seemed to come out of nowhere. And suddenly you’re wondering, wait, is this still the person I thought I knew?!

That’s what I’m talking about in today’s episode. Notice this isn’t about friendship breakups or big fights. But rather, the strange grief of realizing a friend might be changing in a way that no longer feels aligned for you.

I’ll walk through why this can feel so disorienting, how old friendship roots can keep us connected even when something important has shifted, and the 3 options I think you have when a friendship still exists, but the person inside it feels different.

This episode is sponsored by Slowly, a digital penpal app used by over 10 million people worldwide! If you’ve been looking for a low-pressure way to connect with someone completely outside your normal friendship circle, this is it. Exchange letters at your own pace, no small talk panic required. Download Slowly free and get 30% off Slowly Plus using my link:https://open.slowly.app/miXL/l8ei5iw6.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• What those tiny “wait, what?” moments can reveal, especially when most of your friendship still feels normal
• The difference between a friend simply changing and a friend shifting in a way that no longer feels aligned
• How friendship roots explain why old friendships can feel both familiar and disorienting at the same time
• When to consider a friendship demotion, a friendship pause, or ending a friendship altogether

Resources & Links

Order my book, Are We Friends Yet?and get immediate access to the Less Lonely Club Community and the 10-Day Connection Reset Private Podcast.

Learn more about The Friendhood on their website and on Instagram.

Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Types of Friendship Roots

Episode 45: Friendship Demotions (and How to Build Even Better Friendships)

Episode 136: The Surprising Benefits of a Friendship Pause

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

There is something dreamy about the idea of living close to your people. Imagine all of the spontaneous walks, casual dinners, and “come over, I’m on my couch” friendship vibes that so many of us crave.

Today I’m talking with Kelly and Kristi from The Friendhood, a group of four women in Atlanta who actually did it. They didn’t just talk about moving closer to their friends someday — they now live within a block of each other, and their story went mega viral.

In this episode, we chat about what it really looks like to live near your best friends: the boundaries, the chosen family dynamics, the hard conversations, the 1:1 friendships inside the group, the joy of being aunties, and why proximity does not mean you are together all the time.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How The Friendhood went from 1 friend buying a lot in a new Atlanta development to 4 women living within a block of each other
• Why their chosen family dynamic includes husbands, kids, nephews, and the whole family unit
• A “yearly friendship check-in” idea that Kelly uses to ask what’s working and what needs support
• How The Friendhood avoids gossip and protects 1:1 friendships inside the larger group

Resources & Links

Learn more about The Friendhood on their website and on Instagram.

Episode 14: How To Join a Friend Group Or Create One

Episode 42: Real Talk About Friendship Trios

Episode 65: How Jenna Myhre Deyle Moved Across The Country to Live Closer to Friends

Episode 100: How To Use the Wheel of Connection to Strengthen Your Support System

Episode 149: Why We Should All Want Our Friends to Have Robust Social Lives (Even If It’s Without Us)

Episode 176: The Cost of Quiet: How To Stop Avoiding Conflict and Have Those Hard Conversations with Colette Jane Fehr

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

There’s a specific kind of loneliness that I don’t think enough people talk about — the loneliness you feel EVEN when you have good friends.

In this episode, I’m talking about why you might feel lonely, and I’m breaking it down into a few different reasons. Maybe you don’t feel fully seen, maybe this friendship isn’t the right container for what you’re carrying, maybe life circumstances have changed, or maybe there are quiet expectations that have never actually been named out loud.

My hope is that this episode gives you language for what might be happening in one specific friendship, so you have somewhere to start.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why you might feel lonely in a friendship when you’re masking, staying surface-level, or sharing vulnerably
• How to tell when a friendship is not the right “container” for a specific experience, passion, life change, or dream you’re carrying
• Why drift can happen when one person changes and the friendship hasn’t caught up yet
• Why texts, voice memos, and FaceTimes do not always replace the shared experiences you’re craving

Resources & Links

Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Kinds of Friendship Roots

Episode 36: How To Feel Very “Not Alone”

Episode 74: The Power of Vulnerability In Small Doses

Episode 100: How To Use the Wheel of Connection to Strengthen Your Support System

Episode 176: The Cost of Quiet: How To Stop Avoiding Conflict and Have Those Hard Conversations with Colette Jane Fehr

Episode 179: What Is Friendship Culture? (And How To Shift It Without Everything Blowing Up)

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

Why does connection, caregiving, parenting, friendship, and community feel so hard right now?

Author Stephanie Malia Krauss is here to talk about the “weather” we’re all living in right now: we’re overtapped, overworked, overstimulated, and overwrought.

And honestly, when I read that, I felt like she had put language to something so many of us are carrying around without even realizing it.

Stephanie and I both know what it feels like to be raised by a community. We talk about the adults who showed up in small ways when we were kids: the friend’s mom who always had a snack waiting, the counselor with animal crackers in her office, the parents who figured out rides, and the people who kept opening doors even when we weren’t ready to tell the truth.

This episode is all about the tiny ways people can help us feel human again, and why none of us were ever meant to do this alone.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How Stephanie’s “dangerous weather” framework explains the exhaustion so many of us feel right now
• What Stephanie and I learned from unlocked doors, team jackets, special snacks, and tiny check-ins
• Askables, anchors, and activators, and why kids need more than one caring adult in their lives
• How being praised for self-sufficiency, responsibility, and caregiving can become its own kind of trap

Resources & Links

Check out Stephanie’s new book, How We Thrive: Caring for Kids and Ourselves In a Changing World.

Stephanie’s other books include Making It: What Today’s Kids Need for Tomorrow’s World and Whole Child, Whole Life.

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

My book is finally out in the world.

This week, I'm taking you behind the scenes of the 6-year journey that became Are We Friends Yet? — from a food blog and a 40-page e-book idea, to a 120-page Word document, a friendship framework obsession, a major health crisis, an unexpected book deal, and more moments of crying on the floor than I'd like to admit.

This is the story of how this book came to be, the twists and turns I never saw coming, and why following my gut (even when it didn't make sense) ultimately got this book into your hands.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why I turned down a traditional publishing deal after years of trying to get this book into the world
• How a trio of chronic illnesses delayed this project by nearly 2 years and forced me to put everything on hold
• What recording the audiobook taught me after more than 180 podcast episodes behind a microphone
• The unconventional launch strategy I'm using instead of jumping straight into a big press tour

Resources & Links

Episode 19: The One For Little Alex

Episode 109: How To Rebuild Your Life When Your Capacity Changes

WANT MORE?

My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today!

Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.