Good Girls Talk About Sex

Nana lives in Ghana and talks about dating younger men, defying patriarchy, and her vision for bringing the African tradition of sexual aunties into modern sex education.

TOPICS COVERED:

•

Leah getting involved with a married man at age 21

•

Nana's recent sexual experience with a man 20 years younger

•

Patriarchy and why Nana prefers dating younger men

•

Age-gap relationships

•

Dating and marriage in Ghana

•

The challenge of finding partners who practice honest, ethical non-monogamy

•

When partners dismiss or question clearly stated relationship boundaries

•

How sexual relationships can be different from romantic partnerships

•

Homophobia in Ghana and finding queer women to date

•

How Nana meets people in Ghana and when she's traveling

•

The traditional practice of ssenga (sexual aunties) in Uganda

•

Creating modern versions of sexual aunties and uncles to support young people's sexual education

LINKS:

•

The Sex Lives of African Women — Nana's book

•

Seeking Sexual Freedom — Nana's book

•

The African Pleasure Fairy Godmother — Nana's Substack publication

•

@dfordarkoa - Nana's Instagram account

—

• Podcast at Substack: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/t/podcast
•

Spin the wheel: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/p/podcast-questions

•

Be a guest: https://www.leahcarey.com/guest

•

Archive of GGTAS episodes from 2019 to 2024: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com

•

Coaching with Leah: https://www.leahcarey.com

🎡 Want to submit a question for potential inclusion on the wheel? Drop a comment at Substack!

Sophia returns to talk about how a spiritual connection makes sex deeper and more satisfying for her.

TOPICS COVERED:

• Sex motivated by emotional and spiritual connection rather than horniness
• The difference between orgasm and climax
• Exploring Tantra without the traditional masculine/feminine language
• Learning what feels right sexually rather than a predictable script
• Sophia's evolution into polyamory since her original interview
• Kitchen-table polyamory and building a chosen family
• Sophia's relationships with her partner, metamour, and their children
• Preparing to tell children and older parents about the polycule
• Polyamory as expansive love rather than primarily about sex
• Questioning conventional relationship structures, including within queer relationships
• Dating and developing new connections while polyamorous
• Relationship anarchy and valuing romantic and platonic relationships without an automatic hierarchy

LINKS:

• THE AFTERSHOW: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/p/podcast-sophia-orgasm-and-climax
• Sophia's original episode: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/menopause-sophia/

• Spin the wheel: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/p/podcast-questions
• Be a guest: https://www.leahcarey.com/guest
• Archive of GGTAS episodes from 2019 to 2024: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/
• Coaching with Leah: https://www.leahcarey.com/

Gretchen returns to talk about the freedom to choose the sexual experiences she actually wants.

TOPICS COVERED:

• Gretchen's late-in-life sexual awakening after years of believing sex wasn't something she would get to have
• Moving from sexual scarcity to feeling able to choose partners and experiences
• Working with a sex worker to transform her relationship with her body and sexuality
• The difference between talk therapy and embodied approaches to sexual healing
• Developing confidence in sexual desires and asking for what you want
• The value of skilled, attuned touch and paying attention to bodily responses
• Leah's parallel experience working with a sex worker
• How conventional sex education neglects pleasure and nuanced consent
• How popular culture centers the male perspective in its informal sexual education
• Gretchen becoming a sex coach and working with couples navigating non-monogamy

LINKS:

• Aftershow: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/p/podcast-gretchen-my-body-didnt-change
• Coaching with Leah: https://www.leahcarey.com

• Gretchen's original interview: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/i-dont-equate-sex-and-love-gretchen/
• Gretchen's coaching website: https://gretchenshanks.com/
• Gretchen's Substack: Sex Outside The Lines

• Spin the wheel: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/p/podcast-questions
• Be a guest: https://www.leahcarey.com/guest
• Archive of GGTAS episodes from 2019 to 2024: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/

Annie explores her "straight-ish" sexuality, low sex drive, and desire for sex that grows out of deep emotional and intellectual connection.

TOPICS COVERED:

• Annie's evolving understanding of her sexuality and identifying as "straight-ish"
• Being "philosophically queer" while primarily attracted to men
• Feeling different from people who experience a strong or spontaneous sex drive
• Wanting emotional and intellectual connection before sexual connection
• Sex as a form of connection rather than primarily physical pleasure or release
• The importance of feeling deeply known and seen by a sexual partner
• The usefulness — and limitations — of sexuality labels
• Wanting companionship, romance, commitment, and partnership even when sex isn't a high priority

LINKS:

• THE AFTERSHOW: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/p/podcast-annie-my-body-doesnt-know
• Wheel spinner: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/p/podcast-questions
• Be a guest: https://www.leahcarey.com/guest
• Archive of GGTAS episodes from 2019 to 2024: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com

TOPICS INCLUDE:

• Why I ended the podcast two years ago
• The health crisis that caused the slow down, and eventual end, of the first incarnation of Good Girls Talk About Sex
• Discovering I have narcissistic abuse syndrome
• Reconsidering my mom's role as the "safe" parent
• Why I'm rebooting the podcast now

• Missing the conversations
• Wanting to reconnect with listeners
• Finished writing my memoir
• Heated Rivalry … because, of course…

• The new podcast format

• How I'm restructuring it to (hopefully!) make it sustainable
• There's audio AND video, plus an aftershow!

• Some of my fears about restarting the podcast
• The realities of using the word "sex" publicly in today's political climate
• How you can be part of the show

• Invitation for YOU to be a guest (https://www.leahcarey.com/guest)
• Suggest questions to be added to the wheel (just drop them in the comments!)

LINKS:

• Video podcast: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/p/podcast-the-welcome-back-episode
• Jessica Valenti's Abortion Every Day Substack — https://jessica.substack.com/

• Spin the wheel: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/p/podcast-questions
• Be a guest: https://www.leahcarey.com/guest
• Archive of GGTAS episodes from 2019 to 2024: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/

In the final episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, I talk about why I've decided to end the podcast and what's coming next.

For those wishing to keep the podcast legacy alive, the archives are available for download at https://www.leahcarey.com/audio. Safeguard this invaluable content before any legal restrictions come into play.

A heartfelt thank you for your unwavering support through the years. Though the podcast is ending, our conversation is not. Join me on YouTube, and let's keep working to make a more positive world.

With love and gratitude, Leah 💕

OTHER LINKS:

• Get the archives : 📢📢 http://leahcarey.com/audio 📢📢
• Leeja Miller's Project 2025 video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k3UvaC5m7o
• NBC News THINK op-ed - https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/learning-sex-education-can-save-kids-from-groomers-rcna26931

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Jessica's world was turned upside down when her husband died suddenly and she uncovered evidence of his endless lies and a second life that she'd known nothing about.

Had she been blind to the red flags her husband was waving? Or did she know more than she allowed herself to admit?

In this special (mid-hiatus!) episode, Leah talks with Jessica Waite whose book "The Widow's Guide To Dead Bastards" is available today from Atria.

They focus on a pivotal chapter from the book, exploring the questions that still linger for Jessica: What did she know? What was she intentionally blind to? And what could she have noticed if she had known what to look for?

Get "The Widow's Guide To Dead Bastards" today here: https://amzn.to/4di2Vgy

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Some people swear by Dear Abby, others swear at Dear Abby. Today we look at some of Dear Abby's terrible advice.

PLUS: Stay until the end to hear an important announcement about the podcast going on hiatus so Leah can take a well-deserved rest.

Full episode show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/go-to-bed-angry

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

In this Pop Culture Pillow Talk, I talk with pop culture critic Kristen Meinzer about two great movies:

• Joy Ride
• Plan B

You can find Kristen at:

• https://www.kristenmeinzer.com/
• How To Be Fine podcast
• The Daily Fail podcast
• Twitter
• Instagram
• Threads

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/road-trips/

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Plan B - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13172796

Joy Ride - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt15268244

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

In this coaching episode, Sophilia asks: why does she keep ending up in relationships where things don't feel right, and the entire weight of making it better falls on her?

Leah works with Sophilia to:

• understand the red flags for this type of relationship,
• the communication skills that will help screen them out,
• rethink her own experience of being turned on.

Sophilia is a 39-year-old, cisgender woman. She describes herself as queer, single, and multi-racial with a white mother and Black father. In the past she's been in monogamous relationships, but currently prefers the idea of being in open relationships. She describes her body as curvy and muscular.

Leah offers valuable insights and tools to help Sophilia and all listeners to screen potential partners.

Find the turn-on cycle explanation here: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/turn-on-cycles/

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/red-flags-sophilia

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Last year I found myself in the middle of a shitstorm for daring to expose a community leader's abusive behavior. Today I tell the whole story.

The backlash was immediate and intense, with DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) tactics used to paint me as the problem. Suddenly, I was not just standing as a representative of this man's abuse, but also receiving harassment and ostracization from those I once considered my community. Sharing this story isn't just about telling you what's going on; it's about shining a light on the dark corners of abuse and systemic failure. It's a call to action for change, support, and understanding for those who have had their voices silenced.

ALSO: I clarify my pricing structure for coaching and how I serve people with financial challenges.

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/consent-darvo

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

What happens when your brain is so busy it can't slow down to enjoy having sexy time with the cute guy who's totally into you?

In today's episode, we break down the first two episodes of the HBO show Starstruck with teen sex and relationship educator Julia Sheldon. We focus on lead character Jessie and how overthinking gets in the way of being present.

Find Julia at: https://www.askauntiejulia.com @askauntiejulia on socials

Beyond Permission class schedule:

• Thursday, Feb. 22 - Embracing your inner MILF with Danielle
• Tuesday, Feb. 27 - Dating at midlife with Leah
• Tuesday, March 5 - Sex toys show & tell with Leah
• Thursday, March 7 - Ask a couple with Danielle & Adam
• Tuesday, March 12 - What's wrong with my libido? with Leah

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/starstruck

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

In this coaching/storytelling episode, Debbie talks about having the best sex of her life at age 63. Her question: Is that usual?

While Debbie has always been multi-orgasmic, now she's having dozens of orgasms in a single sex session. And the connection with her new husband is a big part of the reason.

Debbie is a 63 year old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married. She describes her body as slender and athletic.

And don't forget: the BEYOND PERMISSION workshop starts next week! Use coupon code "beyond20" to join us!

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/debbie-best-sex

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Togetherness is an HBO show that explores the challenges of maintaining a healthy and active sex life in a long-term relationship with small children. In today's episode, Danielle Silverstein from the popular Marriage and Martinis podcast joins Leah to discuss the first two episodes of the show. They dive into the complexities of sexual fulfillment, gender roles, expectations and resentments. Join us for a deep, thought-provoking, and insightful conversation about challenges of maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship.

Visit Danielle and the Marriage and Martinis podcast

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/togetherness/

Forbidden Fantasies Unleashed: https://www.leahcarey.com/fantasies

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Leah joins Danielle of Marriage & Martinis to talk about why Danielle's conversation with her husband about intimacy and pleasure was explosive and chaotic.

Leah breaks down what we need to remember during these very tough conversations: we've been conditioned differently from the time we're very young, and are often simply adhering to the roles we've been instructed to fulfill. They talk about why we can't always trust our bodies' physical responses during intimacy, games that can be played in lieu of telling our partner, "we're not satisfied" as means to get a similar message across, and so much more.

Listen to the original "Awakening the sex talk demons" episode of Marriage & Martinis - https://www.marriageandmartinis.com/podcast/episode/8aa167f2/awakening-the-sex-talk-demons

Join the Beyond Permission workshop at https://www.beyondpermission.com.

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

In this coaching episode, Maria asks the age old question: why is it so hard to ask for what I want?! She's convinced that her problem is in poor communication skills, but it doesn't take long to discover that the issue lies in a complete different area.

Leah works with Maria to:

• understand how gender dynamics are creating friction in the "what do you want?" conversation,
• rethink how her definition of "sex" makes asking so difficult,
• practice the way she'd like to initiate a conversation about sex with potential partners.

Maria is a 27-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, bisexual and single. She describes her body as athletic.

Leah offers valuable insights and tools to help Maria and all listeners to reconsider talking about their desires.

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/slow-down-maria

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Leah delves into a deeply personal topic: how trauma and mental health have impacted her ability to show up authentically. She talks about the impact her demanding, charismatic father had on her psyche and sense of safety. In admitting her fear of being viewed as not good enough or too much like their father, Leah discusses the creation of a performative persona and the desire to shift to a more authentic voice.

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/identity-crisis

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

In this coaching episode, Lisa talks about learning to stay present when she's having pleasure. Currently her mind wanders during sex to making grocery lists or worrying that what she's doing is wrong.

Leah works with Lisa to:

• understand what's underneath her brain's tendency to wander,
• reframe her judgments about sex workers, and
• recognize the effects of early childhood parentification.

Lisa is a 44-year-old cisgender woman who lives in Italy. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, single & having fun, and exploring different relationship styles because she's not sure she believes in monogamy anymore. She had a Catholic upbringing and is finally exploring pleasure for the first time in her life. She describes her body as average and athletic.

Leah offers valuable insights and tools to help Lisa and all listeners to navigate the challenges of staying present during sex.

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/tantra-lisa

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Leah shares the next step in her health care journey: hypermobility. And this one has even more wide-ranging implications than the endometriosis diagnosis that upended her world six months ago.

Take the brand new quiz to find your Sex & Relationship Alter Ego! Find the quiz at https://www.leahcarey.com/quiz

Links to earlier health update episodes:

• March 2nd
• May 25th
• July 20th

Also mentioned in this episode:

• Hypermobility coach Tracy Rodriguez - https://www.instagram.com/thetracyrodriguez/
• Hypermobility and Proprioception: What's with the clumsiness? - https://www.mybendybody.com/body-awareness-hypermobility/
• Psychiatric and psychological aspects in the Ehlers–Danlos syndromes - https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/ajmg.c.31544
• Low- and high-anxious hypermobile Ehlers–Danlos syndrome patients: comparison of psychosocial and health variables - https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00296-018-4003-7
• Labia Library - https://labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/
• The Vulvarium - https://vulvarium.com/gallery-and-stories/
• The Vulva Gallery - https://www.thevulvagallery.com/stories
• Why I photographed 100 vulvas : Most women have no idea what's down there - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/Why_I_Photographed_100_Vulvas

Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/hypermobility-and-labiaplasty

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

• Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
• Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
• All my classes and downloads are at my store
• Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
• Here's everything I'm up to today
• I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak