Healed-ish

Ashley grew up Mormon, but her family never quite fit the mold. With parents who didn't always follow the church's rules, she struggled to reconcile what she was taught with the judgment she saw within her religious community. As she grew older, she became deeply devoted to her faith, even considering leaving college to marry a returned Mormon missionary.

But experiencing unconditional love outside the church began to change everything. Today, Ashley is a trauma therapist helping others navigate religious trauma and a mother raising her children outside of religion. We talk about leaving Mormonism, unpacking religious shame, and teaching kids to be good people without relying on fear, guilt, or punishment.

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Ashley’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ashleysbuckner

Ashley’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/ashleysbuckner/

Ashley’s Website: https://www.ashleybucknerlmft.com/

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

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This week, Ashley and Bailee from Praise Be to Pod join me to talk about all things DEMONIC… or at least, everything we were told was demonic growing up in evangelical Christianity.

From Pokémon and Power Rangers to yoga and even brushing your hair, we unpack some of the most ridiculous things Christians have blamed on demons. We also get into the darker side of these beliefs, including deliverance ministry, witnessing exorcisms, and the very real fear of demons that followed us throughout our time in the church.

Plus, we play a game of “Why Is This Demonic?” where Ashley and Bailee try to guess why random everyday things were supposedly opening doors to the devil.

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Praise Be To Pod’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/praisebetopod/

Praise Be To Pod’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@praisebetopod

Praise Be To Pod’s Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@PraiseBeToPod

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

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Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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This week on Healed-ish, I'm joined by Brandie, who spent 10 years in an on-and-off relationship with Juice Plus, a multi-level marketing company (MLM), spending over $100,000 along the way.

We discuss the cult-like dynamics of MLMs, from the promise of community and financial freedom to expensive conferences, false promises, and the pressure to keep going. Brandie shares how the sunk cost fallacy kept her holding on to the belief that if she just worked hard enough and did everything right, it would eventually pay off.

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Brandie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/brandiehadfield/

Brandie’s Website: https://www.brandiehadfield.com/

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Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/c/TheOvershareHour

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Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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What happens when you dedicate your life to preparing for the end of the world? This week on Healed-ish, I'm joined by Brittany, who discovered the International House of Prayer (IHOPKC) through its worship music and became devoted to its mission. Dreaming of becoming a full-time intercessory missionary, she joined their internship program, where overnight shifts in the prayer room, intense fasting practices, and the belief that they could help usher in Jesus' return began taking a toll on her health.

Brittany shares what life inside IHOPKC was really like, the experiences that led her to question her faith, and her shock at the allegations of abuse involving founder Mike Bickle. We discuss the pressure of living with constant end-times urgency, the challenges of religious deconstruction, and how she's found healing and reclaimed her life beyond the beliefs that once defined it.

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Brittany’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/brittanyyy.hart/

Surviving Wonderland: https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=gR1WBSu3ETb0P4aYLuwxUXTl1hc0VpRJDh6q5IfM8Xx

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Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/c/TheOvershareHour

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Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

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Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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When Amanda was just 10 years old, a friend invited her to what she thought was a haunted house. Instead, she found herself inside a terrifying staged experience where she was told she died in a car accident, attended her own funeral, and was taken to “hell.”

The worst part? She genuinely believed she was dead.

After seeing her viral video, I invited Amanda to share what happened inside that Hell House and how the experience affected her. We talk about the world of Hell Houses / Judgment Houses, where graphic depictions of death, punishment, and eternal damnation are shown in hopes to scare kids into salvation.

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Amanda’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amandabman

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Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/c/TheOvershareHour

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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Johnny spent more than a decade involved with Expression58, a charismatic church in Los Angeles where he thought he had found something beautiful: a creative community, a sense of purpose, and eventually a career in ministry. Along the way, he worked under prominent prophetic minister Shawn Bolz.

Johnny shares what it was like to work with Shawn from inside the charismatic world, the cracks that eventually began to form, and what happened when he started questioning the beliefs and ministry culture he had once trusted. We talk about the controversy surrounding Shawn’s prophetic words, Johnny’s own deconstruction, and where his beliefs have landed today.

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Johnny’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/johnnygiovati/

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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Comedian Hannah Beck joins me to unpack the lore behind her viral “Dear Daddy God” series, where she reads entries from her extremely religious childhood journals. From judging her friends for watching Glee (while watching it herself for “research”) to practicing kissing with her best friend for their future husbands, who she later realized was absolutely her crush, we’re getting the stories behind the journals.

Hannah also shares how her parents joined a strict religious denomination and how it shaped her faith, school years, and the girl who once began every journal entry with “Dear Daddy God

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Hannah’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hannahbeckcomedy

Hannah’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/hannahbeckcomedy/

Hannah’s Comedy: https://hannahbeckcomedy.com/

Hannah’s Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3qE6BxlVULLxWli5n6e2BL

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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This documentary literally helped convince me to go to Bethel. 😂 Finger of God follows filmmaker Darren Wilson as he searches for evidence that God is still performing supernatural miracles today. This includes healings, gold dust and gold teeth.

At the time, Anna and I were completely captivated by it. So, years later and on the other side of deconstruction, we decided to watch it again. We’re revisiting the miracle claims, the “evidence” we once found convincing, and all the things we somehow never questioned.

Does it hold up? Absolutely not. Welcome to Cringe Rewatch.

Anna’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@awna1997?lang=en

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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CW: Conversion therapy, homophobia, suicidal ideation, religious abuse

Ben was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, where strict rules, purity culture, and the threat of shunning shaped his life. After coming to terms with being gay, he was forced into a “study” that turned into conversion therapy and ultimately found himself homeless and without the support of his family. Today, his parents have cut contact because of their faith, but Ben has built a beautiful life on the other side. He shares his journey through deconstruction, therapy, healing, and finding love after leaving the religion that once controlled his life.

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Ben’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bentheexjw

Ben’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/b3ngibb0ns

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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CW: Conversion therapy, homophobia, suicidal ideation, religious abuse

Ben was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, where strict rules, purity culture, and the threat of shunning shaped his life. After coming to terms with being gay, he was forced into a “study” that turned into conversion therapy and ultimately found himself homeless and without the support of his family. Today, his parents have cut contact because of their faith, but Ben has built a beautiful life on the other side. He shares his journey through deconstruction, therapy, healing, and finding love after leaving the religion that once controlled his life.

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Ben’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bentheexjw

Ben’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/b3ngibb0ns

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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Rachel didn't grow up religious, but after being introduced to church through a friend, Christianity eventually became her entire world. In college, she joined Campus Crusade for Christ (now Cru) and ultimately turned ministry into a full-time career. Rachel shares the cracks she began to see from the inside, why the organization started to feel increasingly culty, and the deconstruction that followed.

Today, Rachel (@psychedwithrachel) is a licensed therapist in Pasadena, California specializing in working with queer folks and those who have experienced religious trauma.

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Rachel’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/psychedwithrachel/

Rachel's Website: https://psychedtherapy.co/

Rachel’s Links:https://beacons.ai/psychedwithrachel

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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Cringe Book Club has officially arrived to Healed-ish!

If you’ve seen the series on my TikTok, you know where this is going: we’re revisiting the Christian books that shaped how many of us thought about faith, relationships, gender, sex, and ourselves, and asking... what exactly were we reading?!

Abigail & I are kicking things off with Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, the bestselling Christian book that taught a generation of women that our deepest desires are to be romanced, play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and unveil our beauty. From gender roles and purity culture to beauty, marriage, trauma, and what it supposedly means to be a woman, we’re going back through it all with fresh eyes.

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Abigail’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/fabigailinsta/​​

Abigail’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabigail11

Readirect Podcast: https://www.readirectpodcast.com/

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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Melissa Duge Spiers grew up Seventh-day Adventist in a world shaped by strict rules, purity culture, and expectations of what it meant to be a good Christian woman. We talk about Ellen G. White and the beginnings of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, Melissa’s rebellion and eventual separation from her upbringing, and the devastating truth she later learned about her father. Melissa is the author of Holy Disobedience, a memoir about breaking free from harmful religious expectations and finding healing on the other side.

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Melissa’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/the.glory.whole/

Holy Disobedience:https://www.lakedrivebooks.com/books/holy-disobedience/

Melissa’s Substack: https://substack.com/@melissadugespiers

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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Youth camp was Ellie’s happy place. She made memories with friends, had powerful emotional experiences, and led worship. But after getting involved in a megachurch, she began seeing what happened behind the scenes and what happened when she started asking honest questions. Ellie shares her journey from church camps and megachurch culture to leaving, deconstructing, finding freedom, and healing out loud online. @Ellieunbound-Ellie’s Tiktok: ⁠/ ellieunbound⁠Ellie’s IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/ellieunboun...Ellie’s Linktree: ⁠https://linktr.ee/ellieunbound⁠-Patreon: ⁠⁠/ healedish⁠⁠Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠⁠/ jubileedawns⁠⁠ Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠/ jubileedawns⁠⁠ Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠/ healedishpodcast⁠⁠ Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠/ healedishpodcast⁠⁠ Apply To Share Your Story: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8⁠

CW: Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse, and Discussion of Suicide

After many requests to talk about Mica Miller's story and Netflix's Death of the Pastor's Wife, Rihanna (@thediaryofrihanna) joins me to unpack the case and the troubling dynamics surrounding Mica's marriage to pastor JP Miller. With a significant age gap, domestic violence and religious abuse, and the fact that JP was once Mica's youth pastor, there are parts of her story that hit incredibly close to home for me.

We talk about the power dynamics in their relationship, the ways scripture and evangelical teachings can be weaponized against women, and the systems that can make it harder to recognize abuse or leave it. We also discuss why stories like Mica's deserve to be talked about, and what needs to change within religious communities to better protect vulnerable people.

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Rihanna’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thediaryofrihanna

Rihanna’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/thediaryofrihanna/?hl=en

Rihanna’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GYFK8HMH

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez had a passion for ministry, but after a trusted youth pastor discovered his internet search history, he was shamed and forced to leave his church. Desperate to change his sexuality, Timothy dove headfirst into conversion therapy through Exodus International, learning how to “act straight” and searching for the supposed wound that made him gay.

He also shares what it was like working with major ministries like Hillsong, where his talents were welcomed as long as his sexuality stayed hidden. Now, Timothy is out, happy, and the author of Conversion Therapy Dropout. We talk about conversion therapy, working with major ministries, coming out, and finding freedom on the other side.

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Timothy’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/timothy.s.rodriguez/

Timothy’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/timothy.s.rodriguez

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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What happens when you've been taught not to trust your own body? Somatic therapist Samantha (@spiritualembodiment) joins me to explore how purity culture, charismatic Christianity, and harmful messages about our bodies can disconnect us from ourselves. We discuss body shame, eating disorders, spiritual performance, and practical steps toward healing and learning to trust your body again.

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Samantha's website:https://www.samantharedondotherapy.com/

Free discovery call: https://samantharedondotherapy.clientsecure.me/

Social:IG: @spiritualembodiment

Youtube: @SamanthaRedondoTherapy

Rebecca grew up afraid of hell, the rapture, and stepping outside of God’s plan. From the pressure to remain pure to a pastor refusing to marry her after she “fell into sin,” shame shaped some of her biggest life decisions. Years later, she discovered the Christian man she trusted had been living a double life that put her and her children in an unsafe situation.

We talk about purity, charismatic Christianity, deconstruction, and Rebecca’s journey to untangle what she was taught from what she actually believes. Today, she serves on the board of The New Evangelicals, working to help create healthier spaces for people navigating faith and deconstruction.

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Part 2 of 2

CW: sexual assault

Katie Stone spent her teenage years trying to be the perfect Christian girl, learning to cover herself up, follow the rules, and trust spiritual authority over her own intuition. After leaving the church and pursuing her dreams in Hollywood, she found that the two worlds weren’t always as different as they seemed. As she explored her sexuality and eventually became a burlesque dancer, Katie also found herself caught in a coercive relationship with an older, powerful man.

Katie joins me to talk about charismatic Christianity, her connection to Shawn Bolz’s church, leaving purity behind, surviving abuse, and the long process of learning to trust herself again.

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Katie’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katiejstone91

Katie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/katiejstone91/

Why I Dance -- The documentary short film showing pole dance as reclamation: https://vimeo.com/119494981

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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Part 1 of 2

CW: sexual assault

Katie Stone spent her teenage years trying to be the perfect Christian girl, learning to cover herself up, follow the rules, and trust spiritual authority over her own intuition. After leaving the church and pursuing her dreams in Hollywood, she found that the two worlds weren’t always as different as they seemed. As she explored her sexuality and eventually became a burlesque dancer, Katie also found herself caught in a coercive relationship with an older, powerful man.

Katie joins me to talk about charismatic Christianity, her connection to Shawn Bolz’s church, leaving purity behind, surviving abuse, and the long process of learning to trust herself again.

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Katie’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katiejstone91

Katie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/katiejstone91/

Why I Dance -- The documentary short film showing pole dance as reclamation: https://vimeo.com/119494981

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

Apply To Share Your Story: ⁠⁠⁠https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8⁠