Kait Willett Podcast

Connect With Kait: https://kaitwillett.com/Support My Work: https://buymeacoffee.com/kaitwillettI break down why some women end up creating the very chaos they hate while trying to feel secure in a relationship. I go through what researchers have actually measured, including a review of 74 studies on the demand and withdraw pattern, and where the evidence stops.I look at why reassurance can mean something different to the person asking and the person answering, how an argument can turn into the only route to real contact, and what the research on self sabotage and secret relationship tests really shows. I also take apart the popular explanations that don't hold up.Both people are responsible for how they respond. This video is for the men who are tired of being pursued and the women who want to stop turning a feeling into a verdict.

Support Kait: buymeacoffee.com/KaitWillettI'm going live on Behind Closed Doors to talk about a 2010 psychology paper that asked a question almost nobody wants to touch. If autism is the extreme male brain, where does the female extreme go?Two people sat in the same jury room in the Lindsay Clancy trial and came out with two completely different reasons for their vote. One said the jury saw a chance to make things better for other women. The other said what got him was how methodical and logical it was. I'm reading the paper, the research on empathy and in-group loyalty that came after it, and then putting it next to the Clancy jury room, the backlash the lone male juror faced from women including public commentators, and the "people's tribunal" outside Cornell.I'm also covering the double standard on cheating from a post I made last week, with the study that caught it, and where the female extreme shows up in marriage, kids and politics. And I'm telling you exactly what the paper doesn't say, because the person who went viral with it got that part wrong.For the full Cornell 7 case, documents and texts, watch my last live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjIiodV6_L8I'm taking your questions live, so jump into the chat and tell me where you think the female extreme goes. If conversations like this matter to you, subscribe so you catch the next Behind Closed Doors live.Lindsay Clancy has not been convicted; her trial ended in a mistrial and a retrial has not been decided. No one in the Cornell case has been charged, and the men named deny wrongdoing.Sources:The paper (Brosnan et al., 2010): https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2010.06.018Crespi & Badcock (2008), autism and psychosis as opposites: https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x08004214Greenberg et al. (2018), 671,606 people: https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1811032115Su, Rounds & Armstrong (2009), things vs people: https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017364CDC autism prevalence: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/74/ss/ss7402a1.htmBatson et al. (1995), when empathy beats fairness: https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.68.6.1042Rudman & Goodwin (2004), in-group preference: https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.87.4.494Clancy juror interviews: https://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/lindsay-clancy-jurors-speak-about-deliberations-hold-out-juror/4011580/Cornell Daily Sun, the "people's tribunal": https://www.cornellsun.com/article/2026/10/demonstrators-stage-trial-of-chi-phi-defendants-outside-board-of-trustees-meetingSurvey Center on American Life, the cheating double standard: https://www.americansurveycenter.org/a-moral-double-standard-on-marital-infidelity/Hopkins-Doyle et al. (2024): https://doi.org/10.1177/03616843231202708

Connect With Kait: https://kaitwillett.com/Buy Me A Coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/kaitwillettWatch the front half of this story, Women Are Starting to See The Damage: https://youtu.be/5Nc9SDtfSY0Around 70 percent of divorces are filed by women, and almost every video on this topic only tells half of what happens next. In this one I run both columns side by side, hers in dollars and his in years.I break down what divorce actually costs a woman over 50, who really remarries, and what the "I didn't know what I had" regret is usually about. Then I cover the number almost nobody quotes: what divorce does to men, and why the previously married are the loneliest group in the country.I also get into why both sides say they were blindsided, why divorce has actually been falling for 40 years, and what the data says if you're in a bad year of your marriage right now.

Connect With Kait: https://kaitwillett.com/Support My Work: https://buymeacoffee.com/kaitwillettIs marriage still worth it for men? I went through the wage studies, fifty years of happiness surveys, and a mortality study of almost 7.9 million people to answer it with real numbers instead of picking a side. I start with a Harvard sociologist who predicted rising unhappiness with marriage back in 1956 and grade how right he actually was.Then I make the strongest case against marriage for men, from the collapse in male remarriage to the wage premium that disappears in the newer data, and I throw out two famous numbers that get quoted constantly but don't hold up. After that I go through the evidence my own comment section won't like: what being unmarried costs men in health, happiness and years of life.What's left is the one part of marriage that still pays and the one part no contract can protect. This is my honest answer to whether that trade is still worth it, and what it would take to make it worth it for the next man.

Support Kait: buymeacoffee.com/KaitWillettI'm going live on this series, Behind Closed Doors, to talk about the Cornell 7, seven men publicly named in a controversial storyline. I'm breaking down why this case feels like Me Too all over again.I'm walking through what happens when an accusation travels faster than any investigation, and what that means for the men who get named and for the women who come forward. I'm keeping it honest about both sides.I'm taking your questions live as we go, so jump into the chat and tell me where you stand. If conversations like this matter to you, subscribe so you catch the next Behind Closed Doors live.Documents to follow:https://cornellseven.com/documents/HearingPanelDecision-Report.pdfhttps://cornellseven.com/documents/JaneDoeVsCornell.pdfhttps://cornellseven.com/documents/JaneDoeDAStatement.pdf

The 69% from Sin 1 has a whole video behind it. Here's what actually happens to a man inside that process: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXjbxHPG3DMConnect With Kait: https://kaitwillett.com/Support My Work: https://buymeacoffee.com/kaitwillettSloth, envy, gluttony, lust, wrath, greed, and pride. I break down the seven deadly sins as they show up in modern women, and match each one to the dating behavior it predicts, with the data behind every one.For each sin I show what it looks like in real life, from the empty ledger to the growing checklist, and why most women never recognize it in themselves.The seventh is not like the other six. It is the one that keeps the first six from ever getting fixed

This all started with one comment under a short I posted. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/to3ssqutMT0Connect With Kait: https://kaitwillett.com/Support My Work: https://buymeacoffee.com/kaitwillettWomen keep asking where all the good men went, and the standard answer is that men are intimidated by successful women.I break down why that diagnosis survives, it is the flattering one, and what is actually happening: men are not backing away from her income or her success, they are backing away from a specific set of interactions, and I name each one.The good men did not disappear. It was never intimidation.

If you or someone you know is struggling, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is free and available 24/7 in the US: call or text 988. Outside the US, you can find a helpline at findahelpline.comConnect With Kait: https://kaitwillett.com/Support My Work: https://buymeacoffee.com/kaitwillettI'm sitting down with Rollo Tomassi, the man who coined the term red pill twenty years before the mainstream found it. They cover how he predicted the dating collapse, why he calls modern marriage a contract no rational man would sign after 28 years inside his own, and what actually happens to the average man divorced at 45. They also get into the watch list: how a government-funded program flagged a married relationship writer as a radicalizing influence. The most hated man in the manosphere answers all of it.

Connect With Kait: https://kaitwillett.com/Support My Work: https://buymeacoffee.com/kaitwillettLindsay Clancy killed her three children and has never disputed it. The trial will decide criminal responsibility, but this video examines something the trial cannot. I look at the pattern in who defends her, why that pattern holds so consistently, and what it reveals about how we assign blame. I walk through the measured empathy gap between male and female defendants, what the research actually shows about how the same act gets read differently depending on who commits it, and what that gap predicts about the reaction to the verdict once it comes down.

Connect With Kait: https://kaitwillett.com/Support My Work: https://buymeacoffee.com/kaitwillettMost people under 35 say they want a committed relationship, yet only a fraction are actually pursuing one. I break down what stands between the wanting and the doing: women policing women for settling, for staying, or for wanting marriage early, and men policing men for being visibly invested or committing at all.Then I cover the accelerant, an algorithm that replaced a friend group of six with millions of strangers rewarded for being harsher than the friends ever were. The result is exactly what the surveys show: a majority who want love, a minority who pursue it, and a growing group who learned to say they never wanted it at all.Your environment is making your relationship decisions, and nobody agreed to the rules it enforces.

Men are expected to absorb a long list of double standards in silence, and naming them gets treated as complaint instead of observation. I break down the double standards men are told to accept, from criminal sentencing gaps to custody defaults to the draft, then apply each one back to women to show how differently the same behavior gets judged.The reversal does the work: the same expectation gets one reaction when it lands on men and another entirely when it lands on women. I also unpack what each asymmetry quietly trains men to expect, and why modern dating and society keep treating the observation itself as the offense.Same act, different rules.

Six feet, six figures, and a list that keeps growing. I break down the delusion behind modern women's standards, run the actual numbers on how many men clear each expectation, and explain the psychology that makes every requirement feel reasonable from the inside.

For each standard I show what it is really filtering for versus what women think it filters for, and who it quietly removes from the dating pool.

Each standard is defensible alone, but stacked together they describe a fraction of a percent of men. Most women never run that math, and I run it for them.

Support my work: https://buymeacoffee.com/kaitwillett

Feminism made women seven promises: liberation would bring happiness, income would bring security, career first and kids later would work out, sexual freedom would mean better relationships, marriage was unnecessary, the movement would lift all women, and you could have it all with no trade-offs.In this episode I measure every promise twice. Once for the women it was made to, and once for the men who caught the fallout. For each one: what was promised, what the data actually shows, who profited, and the second person in the room the promise never mentioned.None of this says women should not work or should not have choice, or that any man is owed anything by any individual woman. It says these choices were sold without their price tags, and the people who followed the script deserved to know the cost before the bill arrived.Whether you agree with every point or not, judging these promises fairly requires looking at what they actually delivered. That is what this episode does.

Women keep saying there are no good men left, while the men they want quietly retreat from dating altogether. In this episode, Kait uplifts real men's voices to reveal 17 hard truths about what men actually want from a woman. None of it is about looks or status. It's a mirror, a wake-up call, and an invitation to get both sides of the gender war talking again.

Ive spent a lot of time studying relationships and what creates the conflict many experience in intimate partnerships. Men and women have different brains, different wiring, and different biological programs. These differences, when misunderstood, can create a lot of friction. A few years ago I asked men what women want and here is what they had to say.

This episode marks the beginning of a new chapter.

For years, this podcast focused on health, fitness, nutrition, and behavior change. Those topics will always matter to me, but over time, I realized the conversations that fascinated me most weren't about calories or training plans. They were about people.

Why do relationships succeed or fail?

Why are men and women struggling to understand each other?

How do our beliefs, childhood experiences, attachment styles, and culture shape the way we love, communicate, and connect?

In this episode, I share why I'm making this shift, what led me here, and what you can expect moving forward.

This isn't about chasing controversy or taking sides. It's about asking better questions, following the evidence wherever it leads, and having thoughtful conversations about modern relationships, gender dynamics, psychology, marriage, family, and the challenges we're all trying to navigate.

Whether you've been here since the fitness days or you're joining for the first time, I'm grateful you're here.

Welcome to the next chapter.

If you enjoy the conversation, be sure to subscribe and leave a review; it helps more than you know.

In this episode, we reflect on some of the biggest lessons we've learned so far this year and share the quotes and ideas that have shaped the way we think about health, relationships, and personal growth. We discuss why growth requires letting go of old beliefs, how the challenges you face today don't have to define your future, and the importance of gratitude, endurance, and surrounding yourself with people you trust. From marriage to body transformation to navigating the noise of social media, this conversation is a reminder that lasting change is built through consistent choices and a willingness to keep learning.

We talk about:

-Why you should always pursue growth

-Whether your past has to determine your future

-The ripple effect of problems in marriage

-The language we use online and why it matters

-The importance of gratitude

-Learning to let go to move forward

-The value of endurance and resilience

-Becoming comfortable being a beginner

-Finding people you can trust

Time Stamps:

0:00 Introduction

1:32 there are season in life

10:45 gaining by letting go

12:40 prioritizing your marriage

17:59 the concept of endurance

23:29 the internet is a PsyOp

32:50 If you can’t fast from it, you’re a slave to it

39:38 would you trade problems with someone else?

44:58 everything is hard until you understand it

48:37 being a beginner at something

52:55 having people to trust

54:55 understand what you’re seeking

CONNECT WITH KAIT & MAV:

Get 1:1 coaching here: https://go.elev8coaching.net/weight-loss-journey

Get our weekly emails: https://go.maverickonlinecoaching.net/mailing-list

Ebook: https://go.elev8coaching.net/consistency-book

In this episode, we unpack one of the most common phrases we hear: "I know what to do, I just won't do it." The truth is, lasting transformation isn't about learning another strategy. It's about closing the gap between what you know and how you consistently show up. We explore why knowledge alone rarely changes behavior, how trying to follow too many "rules" can leave you overwhelmed, and why every person's journey requires a different approach.

We also discuss the importance of acting in alignment with the person you want to become, letting go of all-or-nothing thinking, and finding peace in a process that is sustainable for life. Whether you're navigating perimenopause or simply feeling stuck, this episode will help you shift from knowing to doing.

We talk about:

-the gap between knowing and doing

-what transformation actually takes

-every situation is different

-doing something for yourself

-be willing to let go

-stop living in the extremes

-finding peace and freedom

Time Stamps:

0:00 Introduction

5:20 considering the nuance of “the rules”

9:02 it doesn’t have to be hard

16:09 your to do list is too long

20:01 acting in alignment with who you want to be

25:55 getting results in perimenopause

28:55 why this is important

CONNECT WITH KAIT & MAV:

Get 1:1 coaching here: https://go.elev8coaching.net/weight-loss-journey

Get our weekly emails: https://go.maverickonlinecoaching.net/mailing-list

Ebook: https://go.elev8coaching.net/consistency-book

In this episode, we discuss some of the biggest contradictions and misconceptions we see in the fitness industry. From the growing conversation around GLP-1 medications to the habits that quietly sabotage progress, we explore why so many people struggle to turn knowledge into action. We also talk about the importance of nutritional literacy, the role of shame and accountability, and why lasting change requires honesty paired with compassion. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by conflicting advice or found yourself repeatedly breaking promises to yourself, this episode will help you think more critically about your health and the choices that support it.

We talk about:

-Who can truly benefit from GLP-1 medications

Muscle loss and the importance of resistance training

Building a long-term plan instead of relying on quick fixes

Developing nutritional literacy

Why we keep breaking promises to ourselves

The difference between shame and accountability

Speaking the truth with compassion

Moving from knowledge to meaningful action

Time Stamps:

0:00 Introduction

1:30 who can actually benefit from GLP-1s?

9:00 long-term plan after GLP-1

12:41 shame and accountability

18:44 identifying with behaviors through shame

22:19 are you actually in a calorie deficit?

26:45 where you may be falling short

30:59 moving past knowledge and into action

36:25 can you still with yourself?

CONNECT WITH KAIT & MAV:

Get 1:1 coaching here: https://go.elev8coaching.net/weight-loss-journey

Get our weekly emails: https://go.maverickonlinecoaching.net/mailing-list

Ebook: https://go.elev8coaching.net/consistency-book

In this special client interview, we sit down with Becky to hear the story behind her transformation and the mindset shifts that finally helped her break free from years of yo-yo dieting. Like so many women, Becky spent years searching for the "secret" diet while putting everyone else's needs ahead of her own.

She shares what made this experience different, how learning to accept support changed everything, and why lasting transformation had far more to do with changing her beliefs than changing her meal plan. If you've ever felt invisible, struggled to see your own progress, or wondered if it's too late to become the person you want to be, Becky's story will remind you that real change is possible.

We talk about:

-the search for the diet “secret”

-never putting yourself first

-feeling invisible

-fear is holding you back

-quitting when you don’t get fast results

-learning to love yourself

Time Stamps:

0:00 Introduction

5:01 the history of yo-yo dieting

8:42 realizing this was different

11:26 being fully supported

12:38 the change that made this time stick

16:15 the compassionate side of coaching

18:15 not being able to see your own progress

21:53 a message to other women

CONNECT WITH KAIT & MAV:

Get 1:1 coaching here: https://go.elev8coaching.net/weight-loss-journey

Get our weekly emails: https://go.maverickonlinecoaching.net/mailing-list

Ebook: https://go.elev8coaching.net/consistency-book