Learning Curve with Mr. Chazz

Building a healthy culture with Noreen

Wed, 30 Sept 26

• Head of School at Little Village School in Missouri City, Texas
• Runs whole-school transformations for ECE, childcare, and Montessori schools via Trainbright
• Montessori practitioner for 18 years, started as a receptionist at a boutique school
• Mother of two college-bound sons; credits Montessori with improving her parenting

• Core hiring philosophy: find people with heart, train the skill
• Structured onboarding with clear probationary stages
• Experienced hires can be harder to mold than newcomers
• “Fire fast” when fit is clearly wrong
• State-funded apprenticeship programs worth exploring for pipeline (New York likely has equivalents)

• “The leader brings the weather”: team mirrors the leader’s behavior exactly
• Reframing negative language in real time
• Core value: child first, then growth mindset
• Feedback is gold: someone giving feedback is investing in you

• Goal of conflict is not to eliminate it but to keep it from turning personal
• Conflict as communication: frustration or pushback means “work with me here”
• Preparing leaders for difficult conversations

• Core values are what you already are, not aspirational statements
• Values must be visible in how hard decisions get made, not just on the wall
• Little Village screens parent community, not just staff
• Parent education as a core part of childcare

• For leaders: “You can’t teach fire safety during a fire.” Observe, bring calm, wait until everyone is ready to receive the message
• For parents: “It’s not that deep.” Reactive behavior is brain-body mechanics, not a verdict on your parenting. Apologize quickly; ego weakens relationships
• For teachers: Observe before you act. 80% of classroom problems stem from lack of observation

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The Six-Part Prevention Framework (Mr. Chazz’s Synthesis of the conversation)

• Consent culture and checking in, embedded from toddlerhood
• Safe adults: regulated, non-punitive, curious, able to repair
• Safe peer communities, fostered by connected parents and teachers
• Sexual health values: adults clarify what they want to model before conversations arrive
• Advocacy and reporting: teaching kids to speak up, with language and practice
• Identifying safe relationships and groups: the foundation for navigating fraternities, group chats, and beyond

• All six are interdependent; none works without the others
• Guest’s closing note: these lessons happen in small daily moments, not just formal book readings

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Why Children Stay Silent

Belonging need overrides safety rules

Kids will violate known rules to preserve a friendship or peer connection

Fear of losing the group is neurologically equivalent to exile

Tattling vs. reporting distinction never taught

Tattling: getting someone in trouble for non-safety issues

Reporting: telling a trusted adult about something unsafe, to or from anyone

Kids fear getting a friend in trouble, not just themselves

Fear of consequences compounds silence

Losing devices, games, or friendships if they disclose

Punishment-based parenting makes disclosure feel risky

90% of abuse is by someone the child knows and trusts

Child often wants the behavior to stop, not the person removed

Fear of the unknown outcome keeps them quiet

Consent Culture in Early Childhood

Birdhouse (Chazz’s Brooklyn school) models consent from ages 2-5

Adults prompt: “Do you like that?” then shift to peer-to-peer checking in

Mixed-age groups create natural power dynamic teaching moments

Goal: children eventually check in without adult prompting

Checking in changes the receiver’s experience too

Being asked “do you like this?” opens kids to genuine self-reflection

Same behavior lands differently when consent is sought vs. assumed

Tickling example: don’t remove the experience, teach the check-in

Sensory-seeking kids may want touch; the lesson is voice, not avoidance

Intervention, Redirection, and Education

Three-part framework when boundary crossing occurs:

a. Intervention: name what’s not okay

b. Redirection: offer an alternative way to play

c. Education: explain why, without shaming either child

Root cause matters: was it curiosity, desire for connection, or coercion?

Coercive behavior (knowing it’s wrong and continuing) is a red flag requiring escalation

Most peer sexual play is exploratory, not predatory

Chazz’s preschool story illustrates the dynamic

Friend used “I won’t be your best friend” as leverage, a learned threat pattern

Adult intervention happened but education was incomplete

Threat behavior in a 3-year-old reflects what she absorbed from her own environment

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I go through the 5 steps of Self Regulation with a specific parenting example

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In this podcast episode I share about a $35 Brooklyn Parenting and Teaching Q&A event with Dr. Shefali. However, I can get you into the even for FREE, if you reach out to me with you name and email through instagram or email.

This is the event link

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dr-shefali-with-lindsey-simcik-radha-agrawal-at-lapc-tickets-1998514748411?aff=oddtdtcreator&keep_tld=true

I also discuss how to assess if you or someone else is improving their skill of assertiveness

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In this episode I talk about the unique benefits we provide to our Teachers/Safekeepers and the process of continuing to improve benefits for Safekeepers in a Conscious Discipline way.

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Mr. Chazz and Sydney reflect on how birdhouse was started. We reflect on some of the adult skills that were needed to even start birdhouse. The same skills we open this school to teach children, were the same skills we needed to just start the school.

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This is a reintroduction podcast.

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Child readiness for toilet learning

Toilet Learning Philosophy & Readiness

Adult readiness more critical than child readiness

• Adults must have bandwidth to support child through incompetence-to-competence phase

• Adult anxiety transfers to child, reducing learning capacity

• Key question: Can adult maintain calm during transitional space?

Child readiness indicators

• Natural curiosity about potty (wanting to sit, try, emulate adults)

• Curiosity wanes when effort feels challenging

• Can child tolerate discomfort when effort > reward?

Three learning stages

1 Effort much greater than reward (hardest phase)

2 Effort equals reward

3 Effort becomes easier, reward greater (integrated/automatic)

Direct vs Indirect Learning Strategy

Maximize indirect learning before potty expectations

• Healthy adult modeling and body talk outside bathroom

• Play props and toys around potty concepts (not in bathroom)

• Books, songs, visuals about body processes

• Reduces performance anxiety in actual bathroom moments

Formal learning begins with underwear transition

• Children learn by doing, not just observing (swimming pool analogy)

• Must wear underwear before mastering skills (expect accidents initially)

• Keeping diapers while expecting consistent potty requests is unrealistic

• Children understand: diapers = pee/poop, underwear = different expectation

Body Boss Language Framework

Replace “big kid” language with “body boss”

• Avoids developmental struggle of wanting to be big vs baby

• Emphasizes empowerment and body ownership

• “You have an important job” vs “you’re a big kid”

• Normalize “listening to your body” and “taking care of your body” across all activities

Key phrases to use

• “Missing the signal” instead of asking “did you poop?”

• “Your body’s figuring out how to feel comfortable” vs “you should be able to…”

• “It’s not happening yet” vs “it’s not happening”

• Tag words: yet, soon, just a matter of time

Handling Poop Resistance

Treat peeing and pooping as separate skills

• Different body parts, consistency, pressure

• Give permission to ask for pull-up when feeling poop urge

• Celebrate progress: “toilet bowl is half full”

Prevent withholding behaviors

• Getting poop out of body trumps potty success

• Withholding causes constipation, behavioral issues, reduced bandwidth

• Offer dignified alternatives (pull-up, permission to soil underwear)

Response approach

• Reduce adult energy/focus around the struggle area

• Slow things down, reduce urgency

• Continue indirect learning without performance pressure

Practical Implementation

Potty equipment choices

• Offer both little potty and toilet seat attachment

• Let child choose which feels safer

• Feet firmly planted important for bowel movements

Nighttime readiness

• 5 consecutive nights of dry pull-ups

• Check earlier than usual wake time to distinguish holding vs morning release

Launching process

• Start at home, not school

• Long weekend good for formal launch

• Don’t go back and forth between diapers/underwear (confusing)

• Reset to diapers okay if stress becomes excessive

Resources & Support

Diaper Doggy book

• Creates ritual for transition (like Tooth Fairy)

• Uses body boss language throughout

• Available at Barnes & Noble (not Amazon)

Joan’s consultation services

• Virtual coaching: $25/30min, $50/hour through medical practice

• Personalized social stories available

• Works with families nationwide

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Join her Teen Parenting Series here! https://forms.office.com/pages/responsepage.aspx?id=DQSIkWdsW0yxEjajBLZtrQAAAAAAAAAAAANAATFIR4xURU9NQkc4WUVOSklLMURaVlJNUkdCWjZXMC4u&route=shorturl

Mindy's Website

https://growwithusacademy.com/

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www.patreon.com/mrchazz

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