Lesbian Chronicles: Coming Out Later in Life

Stephanie joins the show to share how bringing a woman into her marriage ended in disaster -- with her husband and girlfriend leaving to be together.

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Alli and Melisa discuss Sabrina Zohar's new book "Why Am I Like This?" and her "Bullshit Blueprint" to help uncover the why behind your habits and your reactions in relationships. Also, how to zero in on what you need to work on.

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Sabrina Zohar (host of The Sabrina Zohar podcast) joins the Lesbian Chronicles to chat about her new book Why Am I Like This?
Sabrina, Alli and Melisa talk about the difficulty of sitting in the discomfort while dating and how learning to regulate your nervous system can help you in all areas of your life. We also discuss the anxious vs. avoidant cycle -- and why it can be hard to leave a "good person."

You can find more about Sabrina's new book Why Am I Like This? (now available worldwide) by visiting her website, https://sabrinazohar.com/
And be sure to follow Sabrina on Instagramand TikTok for her excellent relationship advice!

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This week we discuss "hurt versus harm" in relationships using an example from Dr. Vincent Barbieri and the show "Girls," and how staying with someone to avoid hurting them ends up doing more harm in the long run.

Click here to watch Dr. Vincent Barbieri's Instagram Reel on the topic

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Elina Street and Erica Rose from The Lesbian Bar Project join the show to talk about the importance of preserving lesbian and queer spaces. Erica speaks about her recent op-ed on how "purity politics" is impacting lesbian spaces. And we discuss how this happened recently with Last Ditch in Massachusetts.

Learn more about The Lesbian Bar Project and view their list of lesbian bars

Read Erica's piece on Purity Politics

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In a world where we can get practically anything online and fulfil most needs instantly, we often expect the same instant gratification in dating and finding love. Alli and Melisa explore how to find patience in dating -- and understanding that sometimes, first dates are just really awkward (so don't write someone off just because they talk about dinosaurs...)

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This week Alli and Melisa talk about how the "Sunk Cost Fallacy" of a relationship can keep you invested in something for far longer than your gut is telling you is right. Also, why Burning Man and camping just isn't for us...

Read more about Sunk Cost Fallacy: Why We Stick With Bad Decisions

And don't forget to check out Out on Film in Atlanta September 24-October 4, 2026

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Filmmaker and Out on Film Executive Director Cindy L. Abel joins the Lesbian Chronicles podcast to share about the upcoming Out on Film Festival in Atlanta -- and the importance of telling all LGBTQ+ stories. The 39th Annual Out On Film LGBTQ+ Film Festival takes place September 24 through October 4, 2026 in Atlanta, Georgia featuring a variety of films including a special screening of the lesbian classic "Desert Hearts," with director Donna Deitch. podscan_Mg1v5MMcR4yIOrlSkdq2Wp5yNwqlC0oh

Click here for details on Out on Film and the event schedule.

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Melisa and Alli talk about how those early relationships after coming out can feel safe, but the reality is, you're drowning so anything feels "safe." We share how we've learned from those early relationships how we want to parent and co-parent our children and protect that dynamic. And what it means to feel truly fulfilled in life.

We also reference this articlefrom the Washington Post about people who choose to be child-free.

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This week, Alli and Melisa explore the “cost of being a woman,” including the financial expectations women navigate in dating and everyday life. We unpack Professor Scott Galloway’s argument that men should pay for dates, while also discussing how WLW couples can navigate who pays. We also talk about our own financial insecurities since coming out, as well as women’s mental health and how medication can be a helpful and valid part of treatment.

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Our friend Tennah joins the show to chat about her love for astrology and tarot. She also gives us a bit of an Astrology 101 lesson -- a valuable tool for anyone coming out later who is bound to be asked, "So... what time were you born?"

Follow Tennah on Instagram and YouTube at ZodiacChatline

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Alli shares her very questionable massage experience in NYC. We also discuss what's the "best" or "right" way to tell kids about divorce? And is "no contact" really necessary or is it just a way to have control?

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Melisa and Alli talk about dating without losing yourself, some early expectations in a relationship and the small ways to show you're in it with someone.

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Melisa and Alli discuss a survey from the National Survey of Family Growth that found the median number of opposite-sex partners in a lifetime among women aged 25-49 years of age is 4.3.

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Our friend Robin joins the show to chat with Alli about her evolving style and what inspires their individual styles today -- and the power of "boy jeans"

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Melisa and Alli explain why your brain naturally ruminates after a breakup. It's not because you're "stuck," but because your mind is trying to make sense of what happened and solve an unresolved problem.

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Briana Smith joins the show to talk about growing up Mormon, getting married at 20 years old, having four kids by the time she was 29 --- and how meeting a woman at a wedding changed everything.

Connect with Bri here!

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Melisa and Alli answer a listener email about their attraction to masc women vs. femme after coming out. Also, is there a power dynamic when kissing?

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This week Alli and Melisa explore the "3+1" theory from Simon Sinek which says that relationships require three core pillars of compatibility combined with one external factor -- Intellectual Compatibility, Emotional Compatibility, Creative/Sexual Compatibility and the key factor, Circumstances.

Learn more about Simon Sinek here.

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Trigger Warning: Episode mentions rejection of trans kids, a violent murder, and self harm

Liliana Bakhtiar -- the first queer Muslim person to be elected in Georgia and the first non-binary councilmember of a major U.S. city -- joins the show to speak about issues currently facing the residents of Atlanta. Liliana also shares their upbringing in a family of political refugees and immigrants, their coming out story and how their family is accepting of them and their two partners.

Follow Liliana on Instagram

https://www.lilianaforatlanta.com/

Georgia lawmaker comes out as nonmonogamous

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