Mistakes Were Made

Alex and Sarah's kids grab the mic to discuss how being the children of poly parents impacts them -- from having to explain to babysitter what poly is, to their experience of rolling breakups. And their parents explore the uncomfortable possiblity that the polyamory they practice doesn't ever really stop to, well, think of the children.

Mentioned in the episode:

Witches (2024 Documentary) | Are the Kids All Right? | Ep 29 | Polyam Parenting (and how to talk to your kids) | Ep 5 | Seattle passes protections for poly families |

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Logo design by eroyn franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

The founder of Seattle's fastest-growing non-monogamous community The Pleasure Suite joins to talk about fostering safe, consent-forward spaces that are fun and sexy af.

Mentioned in the episode:

The Pleasure Suite | FRIES - 5 Pillars of Consent | RACK - Risk-Aware Consensual Kink |

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by eroyn franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Sarah and Alex delve into Jungian analysis and find out that sometimes it's our darker parts that bring us closer together with partners. If you've felt yourself struggling once New Relationship Energy starts to wear off, this might be the episode for you.

CORRECTION: in this episode Sarah and Alex discuss the case of a mother killing her children, but they are using the wrong person's name 🫣😬. They refer to Casey Anthony, who was charged with murdering her young daughter in 2008. In the episode Sarah and Alex meant to name the more recent case of Lindsay Clancy, who admitted to killing her three children while in a postpartum psychosis in 2023.

Mentioned in the episode:

Shadow (Jungian concept) | Midlife Magic cohort | Marie-Louise von Franze on the Shadow |

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by eroyn franklin: https://whateverfactory.org

Sarah and Alex outline how opening a het relationship is experienced differently by men and women... based on meticulously collected and analyzed scientific data, of course :)

Mentioned in the episode:

When women choose non-monogamy: 'It's an opportunity for more integration' | The Ethical Slut | Is marriage a lousy deal for women? | Empathy - Psychology Today | Men need relationships more than women |

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

It's Pride, and we're talking about coming out, parenting, and the nature of happiness, with poly psychology researcher Tabitha Kirkland.

Mentioned in the episode:

Geography of Bliss | Tabi's latest Substack: What do you want when no one is looking? | Tabi's Coming Out post | Sarah's Substack | Barry Schwartz: The Paradox of Choice |

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Therapist and 'Crush Coach" Calvin Burnap returns to talk about the dangers of abandoning yourself, the importance of internal boundaries, and why being ice cold in breakups is actually generous.

Mentioned in the episode:

The Crush Coach | The Crush Coach on Instagram | Dr. Devon Price | Relationship Anarchy | Gottman Institute | Nonviolent Communication | I thought We'd Never Speak Again | Joanna Macy

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

In this mini episode Sarah and Alex try to figure out who has a tougher time in polyamory.

Mentioned in the episode:

Melt Music & Mutual Aid Fair | When women choose non-monogamy: 'It's an opportunity for more integration'

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Now that we've actually read the book…there's even more to say about Lindy West's Adult Braces. Spoiler alert: it is extremely fucking good.

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Sarah and Alex explore the seven stages of playparties, from abject horror to skepticism to curiosity. And then Sarah recouts her first time getting in the mix.

Mentioned in the episode:

Sense8 | Eyes Wide Shut | They Will Kill You | What We Do in the Shadows s1e9 | Mixtape Memoir with Reagan Jackson

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

It's like a prenup... for when your partner goes out of town. Poly therapist Karryn Satchell joins the podcast to explain how you can plan ahead for hard moments in a relationship, from fights, to life changes, to individual crises and even break ups.

You can reach Karryn at admin@ksclinicalservices.com

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Lindy West is "setting the internet on fire" again with a new memoir tracing her rocky path to accepting a poly relationship with her partner. Sarah & Alex pick apart the flamey reactions, and start to wonder if polyamory is really the problem.

Mentioned in the episode:

Adult Braces | Harper's Bazaar Article | Loves Out Loud

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Sleepless nights. Intrusive thoughts. Gushing adoration. Is that obsessive feeling true love? Sarah and Alex unpack experiences as givers and recievers of limerant feelings, and try to differentiate between limerance and new relationship energy, anxious attachment, and...Irish poetry? Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Mentioned in the episode:

Loves Out Loud | New Relationship Energy | Love and Limerence by Dorothy Tennov | Yumi Sakugawa Limerance Instagram

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Interlude music "Infatuation" by The Stevedore

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Ramsey rejoins the podcast to talk about that thing everyone seems to be seeking more of these days: Community. What even is it? Why are so many of us lacking it? And is polyamorous dating the solution?

TW: The conversation about community accountability vs. cancel culture somehow lands on the Epstein Files and guillotines.

Mentioned in the episode:

Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Quake Rugby Isn't a Drag (The Stranger) | Alex Garland in Speak the Sojourner | All About Love, by bell hooks

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Guess who's been missing from this new wave of political organizing: CIS dudes. Alex grapples with how critique of toxic masculinity has left a gap in men's identity. And Sarah asks why so many progressive men are down to fuck, but not down to fight.

Mentioned in the episode:

Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Sensitive New Age Guys | All About Love, by bell hooks | The Better Man, by Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Bi men are having a moment, and we're jumping on the bandwagon! Sarah talks to Quinn and Alex about discovering their bisexuality while practicing polyamory. Warning: Heated Rivalry spoiler alert at 35 minutes!

Mentioned in the episode:

Intentional Nonmonogamy workshop | Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat | The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl | Heated Rivalry | Esther Perel on Heated Rivalry |

Follow us:

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

What does Ai and folding laundry have to do with supporting your partner through a break up? Not very much, but both things sure did come up a lot in this episode! Sarah and Alex reflect on how it felt to care for each other during recent struggles with other partners, and share some tips for weathering turmoil in your relationship constellation.

Mentioned in the episode:

Intentional Nonmonogamy workshop | How To Love Your Polyamorous Partner When They Have A Broken Heart In An Open Relationship

Follow us:

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Author and Cartoonist Sophie Lucido Johnnson talks about the future of family structures, her new book "Kin," and, of course, global extinction.

Mentioned in the episode:

Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Timothy Egan | Sarah's Seattle Times column | Kin: The Future of Family | Many Love: A Memoir of Polyamory and Finding Love(s) | Dear Sophie, Love Sophie

More about Sophie:

https://www.sophielucidojohnson.com/

Come to our Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop March 21, 2026 in Seattle!

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Register for the Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop on March 21st in Seattle with Sarah and Alex of Mistakes Were Made.

Is polyamory a salve for loneliness? Or just a way to escape our fear of being alone with ourselves? Sarah reflects on her 'poly sabbatical' and Alex explores the psychological roots if his poly enthusiasm.

Mentioned in the episode:

HHS Report on Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation | Angela Garbes | The Cut - Quiet Quitting Your Marriage | Abigail Brenner - The Importance of Being Alone | Being Happy Alone is a Green Flag in Poly | Episode 18: Threesomes, Throuples and Unicorn Hunting

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mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Evangelical-turned-athiest Tyson returns to the show, this time to help us unpack why so many people from religious backgrounds like his find their way to polyamory, and how religious trauma impacts our relationships.

Mentioned in the episode:

Pew Research: Evangelical Protestants in the U.S. | Poly Philia: Why Unicorn Hunting Doesn't Work | Hierarchical Polyamory vs. Non Hierarchical Polyamory vs. Relationship Anarchy

Follow us:

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/

Sarah & Alex talk with Dr. Nicole, host of the Modern Anarchy podcast about jealousy, religious trauma and the first EVER study on relationship anarchy.

Oh, and the parallels between psychedelics and New Relationship Energy (NRE).

Mentioned in the episode:

Upstream Podcast | Layla Martin | Talk: "Everything you Know About Addiction is Wrong" | New Relationship Energy [NRE] | Seek the Risk | Suicide rates by gender | People chasing ICE with their cars in Chicago

Follow Dr. Nicole:

Modern Anarchy with Dr. Nicole

Follow us:

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: http://www.whateverfactory.org/