Podcast

No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez

Health & Fitness, Relationships, Society & Culture

Let’s be honest: marriage isn’t one-size-fits-all. It takes trust, resilience, reinvention, and serious effort, especially under public scrutiny. Fame doesn’t protect a relationship; it pressures it. Love alone isn’t enough. In No Safe Words, October “Tobie” Gonzalez and Tony Gonzalez, partners of 20 years, pull back the curtain on what it really takes. Part memoir, part comedy, part relationship revolution, the showfeatures raw, unfiltered conversations with high-profile couples about love, conflict, and growth in the modern world. It’s not a highlight reel. It’s the real stuff, messy and honest, so you feel a little less alone.

Episodes
11
Releases
Weekly
Typical length
52 min
On air since
2026
Latest episode
19 hours ago

Episodes

11 episodes, newest first

  1. Kids Before Partners, Non-Negotiables, Catfishing & Amicable Splits

    Season 1, Episode 10

    Show notes

    This week, Tony and Tobie weigh in on a heated internet debate: Should your kids come before your spouse in a marriage? Then, they introduce a brand-new segment, “Relation-Pop,” where they break down the latest relationship trends and pop culture headlines. From Megan Thee Stallion’s dating non-negotiables to messy breakups versus conscious uncoupling, they cover it all. Plus, they dive into the marital woes unfolding on this season of The Real Housewives of New York City.

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    47 min
  2. Marriage, Divorce, and Finding Love(r) Again with Leigh Koechner

    Season 1, Episode 9

    Show notes

    This week, Tony and Tobie are joined by divorce coach Leigh Koechner, who knows a thing or two about love, marriage, and starting over. Leigh opens up about meeting her ex-husband, falling in love, and ultimately falling apart. She shares why sometimes ending a marriage is the bravest thing you can do for yourself and your family, the lessons she learned along the way, and how her own journey inspired her to help other women navigate divorce. Plus, Leigh gives us an update on her love life and spills all about her new lover!

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    58 min
  3. Mortgage Before Marriage, OnlyFans Deal Breakers, and Relationship Red Flags

    Season 1, Episode 9

    Show notes

    This week, Tobie and Tony are dishing out their hot takes and offering some unfiltered advice on the wild relationship dilemmas taking over the internet. Is sharing a mortgage with someone you’re not married to a smart move or a recipe for disaster? How much is too much to share with your parents about your relationship? And is dating an OnlyFans model an automatic deal breaker? Nothing is off-limits as Tobie and Tony tackle it all with their signature mix of outrageous opinions, honesty, and surprisingly useful advice!

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    43 min
  4. Hard Conversations with Your Kids: Drugs, Alcohol & Speaking Their Language

    Season 1, Episode 7

    Show notes

    Tobie kicks things off by sharing her love-hate relationship with the NFL season, while Tony reveals what he enjoys most about football season. Then, they dive into the importance of having tough conversations with your kids about drugs, alcohol, and how to protect themselves and others when situations take a dangerous turn. Tobie opens up about how her family’s history of addiction has shaped her approach to parenting, while Tony shares insight into a powerful conversation he recently had with their daughter. To lighten things up, they close out the episode by putting each other’s Gen Z slang knowledge to the test and reminiscing about the phrases and slang they grew up using.

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    38 min
  5. Marriage, Heartbreak and Grief with Kelsey Chittick

    Season 1, Episode 6

    Show notes

    This week, we’re joined by our longtime friend Kelsey Chittick. We talk about how we first met — and who Tony was before Tobie came into the picture — before Kelsey opens up about the love and admiration she still holds for her late husband, Nate Chittick. She shares how she picked herself and her children back up after his sudden passing, navigated unimaginable grief, and ultimately learned that even after losing your spouse, it’s possible to build a life that’s still full, meaningful, and worth living.

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    53 min
  6. Couples Therapy, Parenting Hurdles, and ChatGPT Advice with The Peete’s

    Season 1, Episode 5

    Show notes

    Holly Robinson Peete and Rodney Peete join Tobie and Tony this week to talk about how they’ve kept their marriage strong through all of life’s obstacles; and how therapy has played a major role along the way. They share why they started therapy before they were even married, how it helped them navigate their son’s autism diagnosis, and the tools it gave them to move through different phases of parenting, marriage, and their careers. Plus, they dive into the world of ChatGPT and debate whether AI could be the future of therapy and relationship advice.

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    1 hr
  7. Do We Expect Too Much From Our Partners, Death of a Pastor’s Wife, and Boarding School Drop-Off

    Season 1, Episode 4

    Show notes

    Tony and Tobie are back together and kicking things off with a question that hits close to home: Do we expect too much from our partners? They dive into studies that challenge some of their own ideas about modern marriage, partnership, and whether we’re asking one person to fulfill too many roles in our lives. Then, Tobie gives her take on Netflix’s Death of a Pastor’s Wife and reveals just how deep her fascination with cults; and the psychology behind them, really goes. Finally, they take us inside the emotional roller coaster of dropping their son off at boarding school, from saying goodbye to anxiously waiting through four very long days for him to finally pick up the phone and call home.

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    51 min
  8. Blind Dates, Vacation Hanky-Panky, and Withstanding the Real Housewives Curse with Terry and Heather Dubrow

    Season 1, Episode 3

    Show notes

    We’re joined by our friends Terry and Heather Dubrow, who open up about how they met on a blind date and Heather’s initial reluctance to settle down. They get candid about the challenges (or lack thereof) of raising four children in Orange County and in the reality TV spotlight, Terry’s ultimate act of betrayal to get Heather to join The Real Housewives of Orange County, and the rules they’ve put in place to keep their marriage strong while laying it all out on television.

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    1 hr 13 min
  9. Empty Nesting, Scheduling Sex & Fighting Fair with Chris and Vanessa Spencer

    Season 1, Episode 2

    Show notes

    Chris and Vanessa Spencer are in the house! They take us back to where it all started; a comedy club, Kevin Hart playing matchmaker, and a connection that turned into more than 20 years together. We get into how they’ve balanced two careers in Hollywood while raising kids close in age, the rules that keep their arguments from going off the rails (including a strict no-cursing policy), and why scheduling sex at least three days in advance might actually be the secret to keeping the spark alive. Now that the kids are out of the house, Chris and Vanessa are officially empty nesters; and they’re giving us the real story on what that next chapter of marriage looks like, what they love about it, and what you definitely shouldn’t get your hopes up about.

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    53 min
  10. Our Meet Cute, Dolly Parton’s Relationship Legacy and the Rules of Marriage | No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez!

    Season 1, Episode 1

    Show notes

    Let’s get into it!

    Tony and Tobie kick things off by letting you into their world; from their similarities and differences to the story of how they first met at Dennis Rodman’s bar… while Tobie had a boyfriend. They also pay tribute to Dolly Parton, reflecting on her decades-long marriage to Carl Dean and how the couple managed to balance love, independence and life in the spotlight. Tony and Tobie explore whether being opposites can actually make a relationship stronger, and get surprisingly candid about what happens when “till death do us part” becomes a reality. Finally, they break down their own “rules” of marriage, the boundaries and habits that have worked for them, and what they believe has helped their relationship last more than 20 years.

    It’s love, marriage, death and Dennis Rodman. No topic is off-limits, and there are definitely no safe words.

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    51 min
  11. Introducing: "No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez Trailer

    Show notes

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    2 min