Permission for Pleasure

Most people have a hard time talking about both sex and grief, but Joan Price isn’t one of them. As an author, speaker and advocate for ageless sexuality, Joan brings her wisdom and experience to this conversation about her book: Sex After Grief.

We talk about the reality of grief making pleasure feel inaccessible, the health benefits of masturbation and navigating intimacy with someone new. You’ll also hear about Joan’s sex baskets, and her communication tips for sex at every age and stage of life.

Find Joan Price

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Mentioned in this episode:
Permission to grieve
Naked at Our Age: My book review
Cyndi Darnell on Want Better Sex Questions
Health benefits of orgasm
Guide to Lube
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Self-Pleasure and Women’s Wellness

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Vaginismus isn’t often talked about in mainstream conversation, and it certainly doesn’t show up in romance novels. Drawing from her own health journey, Hayley Fleming dives in head first with her debut novel Thighs Wide Shut. In this episode, you’ll learn more about vaginismus through the author's story, her advice to other women, and how to advocate for yourself.

Find Hayley on Instagram

Mentioned in this episode
Pain and SexPainful sex and pelvic health
Stretched out vaginas and other mythsTips from my pelvic floor physical therapist

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Do you have a hidden desire killer happening within your relationship? Researcher Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons is back to discuss one of her latest studies about the consequences of replacing partnering with supervising in a relationship. Hear how caretaking and correcting each other can be the enemies of eroticism, and how to fix it.

Find Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons

Mentioned in this episode
Arya use code CS15
How much does frequency matter with Dr. CandiceSelf-pleasure and women’s wellness with Dr. Candice
Talking with a partner about sex
5 questions every couple should answer
Sexual communicationCommunication, Couples and Sex

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Do you experience a dynamic of push-and-pull in your relationship? Or a cycle of one partner pursuing sex and one partner withdrawing? These common scenarios are explained by my guest Laurie Watson, PhD, a leading expert in sexual attachment. She shares how your attachment style affects your sexual relationship, including how to work toward a secure attachment for great sex. As Laurie says, “Great sex isn’t about technique, but about attunement.”

Laurie’s Love and Sex Quiz
Brave Love Great Sex

More on these topics:
Keeping it hot in long term relationships
Practices for positive relationships
Sexual communication
Want better sex? Ask yourself these questions
Five questions for couples
Why don't I want sex as much as my partner

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Many people don’t take ownership of their own pleasure. Whether you don’t feel deserving, feel like it’s a partner’s responsibility, were taught it’s selfish, or just never thought about it in this way - my guest Brooke Bralove wants you to know you deserve pleasure. Join us as we delve into taking ownership of your own pleasure and the steps to get you there.

Visit our episode sponsorUberlube and use discount code CINDY

Find Brooke Bralove

Mentioned in this episode:
Mindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto
What are you saying with your touch with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh
Embracing your desire and sexual agency
The pleasure crisis and why good sex matters

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

In long term relationships it’s easy to fall into a sexual routine. When sex becomes boring, it’s hard to stay interested! Listen in to hear how to create minor risks, introduce an element of unpredictability and generate sexual excitement for an enduring sex life.

Mentioned in this episode:
Affection and Touch
How Curiosity Fuels Desire
Positions with Props
Kink Curious
Coital Alignment Technique
Vanilla with a Cherry on Top
Embracing Your Desire
Keeping it Hot in Long Term Relationships

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
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Women’s pain is often dismissed, especially pelvic pain and painful periods. Mallory Stuparich MD joins me to talk about endometriosis and how to advocate for yourself. We discuss symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment options for women suffering from what’s often referred to as the “invisible disease.”

Find @MalloryStuparichMD on socials

Mentioned in this episode:
Tips from my pelvic floor therapistStretched out vaginas and other mythsPelvic health and pelvic pain

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Pairing clitoral stimulation with penetrative sex is often the route for more pleasure and orgasms for women. In this episode, learn about a technique called Coital Alignment. This is a variation on the missionary position that incorporates pairing and rocking techniques.

Mentioned in this episode:
Pleasure techniques on the blog
Pleasure techniques episode
What you need to know about the clitoris
Cliteracy
Becoming Cliterate book review

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Pleasure is good for you! Researcher Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons joins me to discuss the data on the wellness benefits of masturbation. Learn some suprising upsides for your sleep, confidence and stress level with the results of this study on self-pleasure and vibrator use.

Learn more about Dr. Candice

Mentioned in this episode:
Dr. Candice in Season Five
Masturbation with August McLaughlin
Researcher Debby Herbenick on the podcast: Rise in rough sex
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Community questions: Vibrators, Edging and Anal Sex
Natural health benefits of orgasms
The pleasure crisis and why good sex matters

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

It’s time to unlock your erotic potential with somatic psychotherapist and sex therapist Carly Mountain. She joins me to talk about her newest book, Untamed Pleasure: Unleash Your True Erotic Nature. Learn about embodied pleasure, why women need relaxed arousal, and how the cervix can be a powerful portal of orgasmic potential.

Learn more about Carly Mountain

In this episode:
Embodiment and pleasure
Just how much does frequency matter
Keeping it hot in long term relationship
Untangling sexual shame
Women’s Anatomy of Arousal book review
Tips for multiple orgasms

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Vanilla sex is loved by many, but for some it can get a little mundane. Have you ever wanted to add a touch of variety? Nothing too crazy or complicated but something to spark curiosity? In this episode I share four easy ideas to add a cherry on top of vanilla sex.

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY

Mentioned in this episode:
Ten tips to a better bedroom on the blog
Sexify your space episode
Guide to lube
Using your senses for pleasureForeplay 101Turn up the volume on your sex lifePositions with props
Kink curious
Five questions for couples

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Women often feel burnout from taking care of everyone around them before caring for themselves. The term self-care is trending, but how can we go about doing it? Therapist Jen Hershey joins me to share her perspective, including ideas around alignment and learning to listen to your inner authority. This conversation is an invitation to move through life with more trust, clarity and intention.

Learn more about Jen Hershey, LMFT

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Dial up the heat of arousal using your fingers! Listen in to learn some new techniques including various kinds of pressure, rhythms and motions. Discover broadening, hinting, and different styles of finger touch for increased pleasure.

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube, use code CINDY

More on these topics
The clitoris is a whole network
The clitoral hood
The G-spot
24 conversation starters to help you talk about sex with a partner

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Have you ever been having sex and suddenly your arousal just disappears? From this episode you’ll gain a deeper understanding of how arousal and desire really work, as well as factors that influence it. You’ll also learn three things research shows that long-term couples can do to experience sexual satisfaction as desire changes over time.

Mentioned in this episode:
Sex on the brain
Understanding sexual desire styles
Partner sexual desire discrepancies
How curiosity fuels desire
Reclaim your arousal mindset
Community questions: arousal, role play and condoms
3 tips for speeding up arousal

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Vibrators and sex toys don’t have to be scary or overwhelming. And they certainly aren’t bad or taboo. In this episode I walk through why vibrators work for women and how to choose one. I also offer a few communication tips for introducing a toy with a partner.

Mentioned in the episode:
Clitoral Network blogPleasure techniques with penetrationMaude use code CINDY10
The Clitoris has a hoodMegan’s episode about introducing a vibratorVibrator episode with Dr. Shannon ChavezVibrators on the blogWhen a partner wants to try something newIntimate Wellbeinguse CINDY15
Dame

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Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA joins me to talk about their book co-authored with Stephanie Covington called: Awaken Your Sexuality: A Guide to Connection and Intimacy after Addiction and Trauma. We discuss the prevalence and normalization of substances as a pathway to sexual behavior, and how sexual responses can be filtered and affected through this lens. Vanessa also shares how shame can keep us from using our personal power to find intimacy and a satisfying sex life.

Learn more about Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA

More on this topic:
Slow Pleasure with Euphemia Russell
Sexual shame with Mathias Roberts
Using your senses for pleasure
Pleasure after trauma
Supporting Survivors

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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VISIT my website and blog

Did you know it’s possible to have more than one orgasm in a single sexual session? In this episode we discuss how women can experience multiple orgasms including techniques to explore for wave after wave of pleasure.

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube with code CINDY

Mentioned in this episode:
The clitoral network
What is edging?
A woman's arousal takes more than 5 minutes
Different kinds of orgams
Level up your pleasure with these 20 orgasms
The clitoral hood
Vibrators for women
Pleasure techniques with penetration
Sex and your brain
Can men be multi-orgasmic?

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
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Have you ever been curious about kink? If so, this is the perfect conversation for you! Certified Sex and Relationships Psychotherapist, Sex Educator, and Author Gigi Engle joins me to offer a guide to exploring kink and erotic sensation. We discuss popular kinks, power dynamics, impact play and more. Expand your sexual menu with ideas and suggestions to amplify your senses through kinky play.

Find Gigi Engle and Kink Curious

Mentioned in this episode:
Temperature playToys, fantasy and play in the bedroom
Untangling sexual shame
Desire discrepancies
When one partner's vanilla and the other is 31 flavors
Vanilla with a cherry on top
When a partner wants to try something new

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Listen in for the five questions to answer with a partner for greater pleasure and discovery. Sexual communication is your key to unlocking boredom, assumptions and resentment in the bedroom. Lean into your curiosity with these questions and discover more intimacy and vibrancy in your sex life.

Find the podcast page with all the links

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Want to re-eroticize your long-term relationship and keep the fires burning for the long-haul? Somatic Psychologist, and Sex Therapist Dr. Holly Richmond joins us with expert advice for couples. She gets practical with flirting techniques, understanding your sexual template, and the four things healthy couples do to have a thriving relationship in and out of the bedroom.

Dr. Holly Richmond is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist, and holds a PhD in Somatic Psychology, and is the associate director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.

More on these topics:
Pleasure after trauma episode with Holly
Reclaiming Pleasure Book Review
Partner desire discrepancies
Desire styles
How much does frequency matter?
Erotic personas
Erectile dissatisfaction vs Erectile dysfunction
Affection and the 6 second kiss

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog