Refuse to Choose

What does it really mean to “have it all”? And is your definition something you actually want, or something someone else told you to want?

In this episode, I’m talking about the shrink back: when you pull away from even believing you can have your favorite life before you start pursuing it. It’s playing small before you even get in the game.

We start with the Favorite Life Wheel and the 10 spokes of your life, then get honest about the reasons people won’t let themselves go for all tens: “I don’t want to be a perfectionist.” “I’m aiming for all nines so I leave room for growth” (that was mine!). “Will people still like me?” “It’s just not possible.”

Then I share my theory of what’s actually going on underneath for most of us: vulnerability, and more specifically, foreboding joy. Drawing on the work of Brené Brown and Dr. Gay Hendricks’s The Big Leap, we talk about why joy is the most vulnerable emotion, why our brains tell us to “rein it in,” and how to expand your capacity to hold joy.

In this episode:

• The 10 spokes of the Favorite Life Wheel
• The four most common shrink-back thoughts, and new perspectives for each
• Foreboding joy and the “other shoe” fear
• A simple practice to hold joy a little longer
• Why a 10 isn’t perfection: life is 50/50
• How to tell if you’re at a 10
• Radical acceptance and building a 10 with the cards you were dealt

The question I’m leaving you with: How would you show up differently in your own life if you genuinely believed you could have all tens?

🔗 Take the free Favorite Life Wheel assessment
🔗 Ready to stop shrinking back? Snag a Roadmap Session

For years, I described my coaching like a general contractor showing up with a giant toolbox: whatever you needed remodeled, I had a tool for it. Then my coach pushed back and asked me what the through line actually was. What am I doing with every client, every single time?

This episode is the answer. I’m introducing the Maverick Method, the simple process behind creating your favorite life and business: master your energy, master your emotions, master your thoughts.

In this episode, I share:

• Why mastering these three things is the work underneath every result, from more income in fewer hours to less overwhelm
• Why I chose the word “maverick,” and why your favorite life will almost always look different from the default you were handed
• Rebelling against energy norms
• Rebelling against emotional norms
• Rebelling against inherited thoughts

Next week, we’re talking about the shrink back, what happens when you don’t even believe a 10 out of 10 life is possible for you.

Resources mentioned:

• Download the free Favorite Life Wheel
• Book a Roadmap Session with me
• Mini course: How to Manage Urges and Escapism
• Unleash Your Favorite Self book and journal
• Join the Rebellion for weekly emails

Is the economy good or bad right now? It depends on who you ask, and that’s the point. In this episode, Sophia shares why you get to decide whether your business grows, no matter what the headlines say.

Sophia goes back to the 2008 recession, when she was a 100%-commission ad saleswoman in a dying print industry. Her boss told the team, “We’re not participating in the recession.” She thought he was delusional. Then her income grew every single year. You’ll also hear about a realtor who became the local short-sale expert, a title company owner who went from his last credit card to selling a tech company for tens of millions, a Cuban restaurant that made more money during the pandemic shutdown, and a Florida realtor who doubled her business in the 2026 slowdown.

As a mom with ADHD who used to overcomplicate everything, Sophia knows that growth usually comes from getting simpler and clearer, not from doing more. Every story in this episode comes back to the same five questions:

• What problem can I solve?
• How can I add value?
• Is it simple for people to understand what I do?
• Is it easy for them to buy from me?
• Do my customers love their results?

Chapters (approximate)

• 00:00 – Welcome + Friday masterclass
• 01:56 – Good economy or bad? You get to decide
• 04:22 – Why hard times act as a sifter
• 06:37 – 2008: a dying print industry and “we’re not participating”
• 15:51 – Everyone is in the business of solving problems
• 18:20 – Passion doesn’t sell. Clarity does.
• 20:44 – Why your success helps everyone around you
• 23:08 – The realtor who mastered short sales
• 25:26 – The title company that grew to 30 locations
• 30:12 – The 5 questions to ask yourself
• 32:32 – The septic company people love buying from
• 33:30 – Pricing based on the problem, not your paycheck
• 36:00 – Pandemic catering trays
• 39:21 – A 2026 realtor who doubled her business
• 44:10 – The power of coaching

Links

• Free masterclass, Simplify Your Business
• Join the Rebellion for future events and opportunities
• Book a consultation with Sophia

What if the reason you're always overwhelmed isn't that you're doing business wrong, but that you're trying to run a business that doesn't fit your life?

This week, Sophia sits down with Kait Hardiman, founder of Front Porch Social, a marketing and social media agency that gives small business owners (mostly moms!) their time back. Kait is a mom of two little girls, a former fashion production pro, and someone who once sent Sophia a text that simply said, "I need help... I've been in overwhelm land and it's about to get worse."

Together, they look back on Kait's year and a half of coaching and the shifts that changed everything, including:

• The mullet moment: Kait realized she was forcing her life into a Monday-through-Friday box that didn't fit, and she rebuilt her business around her real life, Disney trips and the Don CeSar included.
• Delegating to the right people: Kait and her team used CliftonStrengths to put the right people in the right roles, and she shares what it took to let go of a great person who wasn't the right fit.
• ADHD and anxiety: Kait talks openly about getting her ADHD diagnosis and how understanding the way her brain works helped her design routines and systems that fit, so she isn't fighting against her own wiring. Sophia, who has ADHD too, shares favorite strategies like procrastination parties, body doubling, and a room-cleaning hack.
• Her "and" statement: Kait's goal is to work part-time hours and build a $200K business, which is Refuse to Choose in action.

Kait also shares her newly revamped Content Planner, the Google Sheet her team uses to plan every client post. Through the end of 2026, 100% of proceeds will support Spencer, a former Front Porch Social team member, and her family during a challenging time.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Kait's Content Planner ($37): Download here
• Front Porch Social: website and Instagram
• Connect with Kait on Instagram
• Jenga My Life free resource
• Join the Rebellion

We're back with another live coaching call! Some of my biggest breakthroughs in business and in life came from listening to other people get coached. They'd ask about something I never even thought to ask, and six months later I'd be standing right in their shoes, knowing exactly what to do.

This week, I'm coaching Kelsey Foster, a phenomenally talented audiobook narrator and mom of four. After years of splitting booth time with her husband, James, Kelsey stepped into a full-time recording schedule while he took over school drop-offs, pickups, and every single meal. On paper, it's working. She's the most efficient she's ever been. So why does it feel like putting on new skin?

Together we unpack:

• Why "just because I can doesn't mean I should" when new space opens up in your life
• The difference between helpful guilt and unhelpful guilt, and how to name the voice behind it
• ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) and why you are the second thought
• Why we're not growing or dying. We're always growing and dying.

If you've ever felt strange stepping into a new version of yourself, even one you chose, this one's for you. Welcome to being human.

If you're in your own season of change and want support, book a roadmap session at www.SophiaHyde.com.

How you spend your time is a reflection of your priorities. Period.

We're wrapping up the Energy Audit series with Part 6: time management.

You've heard me say it over and over: I'd rather you manage your energy than your time, because energy is ninety percent of the equation.

But, time management still has a seat at the table, and you can't build your favorite life with shady time management skills.

And friend, I am overqualified to teach this one. I used to be the friend who perpetually ran 15 minutes late. My mom was still waking me up my senior year of high school. Today? My calendar is a beast, and it's the reason I achieve my goals.

In this episode, I break down the four reasons time management feels so hard:

• Time blindness
• People pleasing
• Fear
• Priorities in the wrong order

You'll hear why I get ready first, how I borrow my husband's brain when the math ain't mathing, trading FOMO for JOMO, and the painful time management decision in 2022 that helped me achieve my big dream of moving our family to the mountains.

I have unsubscribed from busy.

My life is full, not busy. And you can be too.

Visit https://www.sophiahyde.com/ to grab the free Jenga My Life download or book a Roadmap session with Sophia.

On this episode, we're talking about the conversations you might not even know you need to have with your doctor.

You can't coach your way out of a problem that may be chemical, biological, or hormonal.

It's important to know the difference between what you can fix on your own and when you need to talk to a doctor.

I'm not a medical professional (never claimed to be), but after years of coaching calls where someone's "energy problem" turned out to be a chemical or biological one, I couldn't keep doing an energy audit series without going here. Because here's the truth: you cannot coach your way out of a thyroid issue, and you cannot pill your way out of a mindset block. Knowing which lane you're in changes everything.

In this episode, I'm getting into why women's health research is decades behind (hint: the patriarchy), why perimenopause can start way earlier than your doctor thinks, why so many women are walking around with undiagnosed ADHD or autism and calling it "just being tired," and what masking is actually costing your nervous system. And because I believe in sharing my lived experience, not just theory, I'm opening up my own chart — the exact labs I ask for, the supplements/prescriptions I take, and what actually moved the needle on my energy.

This episode might just be the one that gets you to finally book that appointment.

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Excellent menopause/women's health account/podcast: Dr. Kelly Casperson

Sophia's website: http://www.sophiahyde.comhttp://www.sophiahyde.com/

Sophia's Florida doctor: Dr. Nutting

This week, Sophia pauses the energy audit series to share something different: a real, unscripted live coaching call recorded on Instagram Live with Lee Anne Roquemore, a photographer, single mom of three, and fellow ADHD brain navigating the beautiful chaos of running a business and a household solo.

Sophia asks Lee Anne the question she asks every client: "What's your sandpaper right now?" The answer, meal planning, opens into a rich, honest conversation about the invisible mental load behind something as "simple" as feeding a family. They talk ADHD and executive function, the cortisol spike of monotonous tasks, building systems instead of relying on willpower, redefining "good enough," and letting kids watch you recover from mistakes instead of hiding them.

If you've ever wondered what an actual coaching session sounds like, or felt like the mental load of daily life was too small a thing to bring to a coach, this episode is proof that it's not.

Tune in for practical systems, permission to let go of perfectionism, and a candid look inside a real coaching relationship.

Visit Lee Anne's work at Petal & Vine Photography

To connect with Sophia visit http://www.sophiahyde.com or DM her on Instagram at @thesophiahyde.

We're doing an energy audit and today it's all about sleep. Not the "duh, get more sleep" advice you've heard a hundred times, but the real, unique-to-women reasons you're not getting enough of it: revenge bedtime procrastination, perimenopause and hormone shifts, 3:30am cortisol wake-ups, and the anxious brain that won't stop running your to-do list at midnight.

Sophia breaks down the top three reasons her coaching clients aren't sleeping, shares the habit-stacking trick that finally got her to bed on time (hint: it's about four footsteps), and introduces the Thought Wheel — the journaling tool from her book that helps you get racing thoughts out of your head so your brain can actually rest. Because self-care isn't bubble baths and girls' weekends — it's the boring daily practice of protecting your sleep so you can show up as the mom, entrepreneur, and woman you actually want to be.

If you're a woman in business running on fumes, this one's your permission slip to make sleep the priority.

To connect with Sophia visit http://www.sophiahyde.com or DM her on Instagram at @thesophiahyde.

Part 3 of the Energy Audit series is here, and this one's important: people pleasing.

Sophia unpacks why this is one of the biggest energy leaks women face. From the extra mental load of managing everyone else's feelings, to the masking that leaves you drained after every social interaction, to the resentment that builds when you keep saying yes to things you don't want to do, people pleasing will rob your energy.

She connects the dots to bigger stakes too, including why 80% of autoimmune diagnoses happen to women.

But this episode isn't just the "why" of people pleasing, it's packed with the aha moments and tools Sophia has used with her own clients (and herself) to break the pattern: the difference between being nice and being kind, the "never say yes in the moment" rule, how to know if you're acting from duty and obligation versus joy, and the mantra that changed everything for her, "I will no longer be the one who disappoints myself."

If you've ever shrunk yourself to keep the peace, this one's for you.

To connect with Sophia visit http://www.sophiahyde.com or DM her on Instagram at @thesophiahyde.

Quick question: what's in your backpack right now?

In this week's episode of Refuse to Choose, Sophia digs into mental load — that running ticker in your brain that makes you exhausted by the end of the day even when you feel like you didn't "do" anything. (Spoiler: your brain burns calories too. You're not crazy. Overthinking WILL make you tired.)

She walks through ten questions to help you figure out what's weighing you down and doesn't need to be, things like:

Is this my lane?

Can I batch this?

And the one that changes everything for her clients: Did I have my me meeting this week?

She also get into the Fair Play concept of Conception, Planning, and Execution — why "helping" by just executing isn't actually taking the weight off, and why so many women are carrying 80-90% of the mental load in their homes without even realizing it.

Every one of these ten ideas could be its own episode. So make sure you listen all the way through.

There are 10 ideas to reduce some of that load you are carrying on your back right now. Your gold might be the 10th idea.

Remember, "or" doesn't have to be the only option. You can choose yourself, your business, AND your family this week. And reducing your mental load is a HUGE part of making that "and" life possible.

To connect with Sophia visit http://www.sophiahyde.com or DM her on Instagram at @thesophiahyde.

Podcast Description

Welcome to the first real episode of Refuse to Choose! Today I'm kicking off a six-part series I'm calling The Energy Audit because after five-plus years of coaching clients through overwhelm, burnout, and big goals, one thing has been true almost 100% of the time: it always comes back to energy.

We're going to draw a line in the sand on the "living off caffeine, so busy, so exhausted" way of living. That's not normal, and you're not broken for feeling it, you were just born into a society that normalized it. In this episode I walk you through all six steps of the audit (awareness, mental load, people pleasing, sleep and doom scrolling, your doctor, and time/task management), plus a peek into what I'm personally working through right now with my own energy and dopamine.

You'll also hear my "energy exchange" concept in action — real examples of how I shifted my own workout timing, rearranged a client's travel-day workflow, and even made doing the dishes something I look forward to.

Grab your headphones, hit play, and let's get you feeling like "I got this."

In this episode:

• Why the energy audit works for almost every client, every time
• The six-week roadmap for the series
• The story behind the name Refuse to Choose and The Rebellion
• What an "energy exchange" is and how to start finding yours
• A look at what I'm personally working through with my own energy right now

To connect with Sophia visit http://www.sophiahyde.com or DM her on Instagram at @thesophiahyde.

Hello to the women juggling ten balls, trying not to let the glass ones drop. Hello to the women torn between which self-care to choose today. Hello to the dreamers, holding gratitude for the life they have while still chasing the big, audacious goals ahead. This is the very first episode of Refuse to Choose, and it's my welcome to you.

In this intro episode, I'm walking through the who, what, when, where, and why of this podcast — because before we dive into the work together, I want you to know if this is the community you belong to.

I share why this show exists: we're part of a generation of women rewriting the female legacy, proving that being in business can include both rest and success. I get into the mental load, the martyrdom we're done with, and the guilt so many of us carry around business, family, and self, and why you don't have to keep choosing between them.

This isn't a hustle-culture podcast, and it's not about man-bashing either. It's about stepping into who you want to be, saying yes/and, and learning to lighten the load instead of carrying it all alone. I'll tell you what to expect going forward (mostly stories, mine and my clients', because that's what actually sticks) and a little about who I am and why I do this work.

If you're ready to stop drowning in guilt and start building a life that's rich and full without sacrificing yourself or your family, you're in the right place. Let's do it.

To connect with Sophia visit http://www.sophiahyde.com or DM her on Instagram at @thesophiahyde.