Single (not spiraling)

Blocking him might be the most loving thing you can do for yourself, so why do so many of us wait so long to hit the button? In this episode of Single Not Spiraling, I’m talking about the block button, why it feels so loaded, and what keeps us holding onto men who’ve already shown us they’re not going to show up. We get into the guilt, the “what if he apologizes” thinking, and how much of your time and energy goes to someone who hasn’t earned it. I also talk about why choosing your own peace over a man’s access to you is a real act of self-love, and how it ties into undoing a lot of what the patriarchy taught us about being patient and available. If there’s a guy in your phone right now who you know needs to go, listen to this one first.

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Black and white thinking about men can feel like the safest way to protect yourself, especially when the news has you furious and every headline makes it feel like you can't trust anyone. Your rage is valid, and I feel it too. Men need to be held accountable for the harm they cause, full stop. But if we actually want things to change and want to tear down patriarchy, I think we need a bigger conversation than sorting men into good guys and monsters. In this episode, I'm talking about how that split lets so much everyday harm slide, and what accountability could look like if we went after the roots, from what boys are taught growing up to whether men who have already caused harm can change.

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You meet someone, it's going well, and somehow two weeks in you're checking your phone every ten minutes, replaying the last text, and low-key already spiraling and Obessesing. If that's you right now — this one's for you. in this episode we're talking about why early dating attachment hits so hard, how to tell the difference between real excitement and full-on obsessing, and what actually helps when you're mid-spiral over someone you barely know yet.

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There's a new dating trend everywhere right now, and on the surface it sounds like solid advice: date the guy who's less conventionally hot, because he'll treat you better. Lauren stumbled on it mid-scroll while hunting for this week's topic, and had a lot of thoughts. This episode breaks down where the trend actually falls apart, what you should be watching for instead in the first few dates, and how to tell the difference between attraction that's genuinely building and you just talking yourself into someone. Plus: how to figure out your actual non-negotiables, versus the preferences you've been treating like deal-breakers.

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Not every season calls for celibacy. Some call for community. Some call for a hoe phase. This one's about figuring out which season you're actually in, and why the advice going around right now isn't one-size-fits-all.

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Why is it so hard to just sit with yourself for one Tuesday night? This week I'm getting into what's actually happening when you reach for the dating apps — because half the time it's not about dating at all. It's about wanting proof someone's paying attention, wanting to feel wanted, wanting anything other than the quiet of being alone with yourself. I'm breaking down what you're really chasing when you open that app, and what to do instead of handing your attention over to a stranger.

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Okay, real talk — you think you're not a creative person. You're wrong, and this episode is me proving it. Not another "get back out there and date" ep — this one's about getting out of your slump by making stuff instead of waiting to feel inspired. Creativity is why we're alive, and I want you to create your world. And creativity has nothing to do with art — it can, but there's so much more you're creating. Your days, your routines, your relationships, the way you spend a random Tuesday — all of it. By the end, you'll realize you have something worth creating.

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You're doing the work of decentering men, but who's actually in your corner while you do it? This week Lauren gets into the friendship gap nobody talks about — why it happens, why it's harder to fix than you'd think, and what it actually takes to build real community as an adult. Spoiler: it involves leaving your couch.

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Why is it so hard to walk away from something once you've put time into it — even when you already know it's not right? This week we're getting into the sunk cost fallacy, the concept that explains why staying can feel safer than leaving, even when staying is the actual cost. Inspired by a section in Amanda Montell's The Age of Magical Overthinking, we're talking about where this thinking comes from, how it shows up in dating whether you're single right now or looking back, and why the time you've already spent is the worst possible reason to spend more of it.

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You've been told your whole life that getting older is something to fight off. That your value has a shelf life. That younger is better, more desirable, more worth something. And most of us absorbed that without even questioning where it came from or who it was built to benefit. In this episode Lauren is blowing that up. We're getting into why the fear of aging makes complete sense given what we were taught — and why what we were taught was never actually about us. What aging really gives you. Why accepting yourself means feeling things you've probably been avoiding for a long time. And how to start building real self-trust from the evidence you've already got. If you're a woman who has ever felt like time is running out, like you're behind, like getting older is something happening to you instead of for you — this one's for you.

Erikas insta

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You're already in a relationship, whether you've clocked it or not — the one with yourself. This episode is about what happens when you start treating that relationship with the same attention you'd give someone you're dating, and what actually shifts when you do.

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We are consuming more than ever. More content, more frameworks, more steps, more systems. And a lot of it is genuinely useful — but at some point the volume of it stops helping you and starts working against you. Especially when you're a single woman who is already trying really hard.In this episode, Lauren breaks down what's actually happening when self-improvement content starts to feel like a project that never ends — and why so much of the content marketed to you as healing and empowerment still has a man buried at the finish line. Plus, what it looks like to start trusting what's already inside you instead of looking for the next thing to consume.If you've ever felt behind despite doing all the right things, this one is for you.

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Putting yourself first sounds simple until you actually try to do it. If you've ever said yes when you meant no, shrunk your own needs down before anyone even asked you to, or felt a wave of guilt the second you did something for yourself — this episode is for you. Lauren breaks down why so many women struggle to make themselves the priority in their own lives, and why it has nothing to do with being weak or not knowing better. From the way we're conditioned from childhood to center everyone else, to codependency patterns that hide behind generosity, to the attachment wounds that make self-advocacy feel like a threat — this episode names what's actually underneath the pattern so you can start seeing it clearly.

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You've been spiraling and you know it — the overanalyzing, the waiting, the feeling like you have zero control over how your own life feels. This episode hands you the framework that changed everything for me and for so many of my clients. We're talking about the Drama Triangle, why you're probably living inside it right now, and the Empowerment Dynamic — the tool that actually gets you out. This is the episode I wish someone had handed me years ago.

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If you've been holding back from fully doing this work, this episode is for you. Today Lauren is getting into why a capable, secure man is not going to be threatened by you being a self-proclaimed man hater, where male insecurity actually comes from and why it has nothing to do with you, and why the version of you that keeps shrinking herself is not landing the relationship you actually want. Because the goal was never really a relationship. The goal is you, fully yourself, living a life that feels whole whether or not anyone shows up to share it. And if someone does? He's lucky to be let in.

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Something Lauren keeps noticing: when women go through a breakup, they find themselves again. They go back to the things they'd stopped doing — the hobby, the book, the version of themselves that got a little buried somewhere in the relationship. This episode is a guide for anyone who's newly out of something, mid-way back to themselves, or reflecting on how they've come back before and wondering if there's a little more work to do. Four steps, in order. What to come back to, what to build, what to protect, and what to remember so you don't lose it the same way twice.

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In this episode Lauren gets real about what the work actually looks like — not the highlight reel version, not the "I healed and now everything is great" version, but the real thing. She walks you through the specific areas she works on with her clients every single day: breaking the fantasy of who you want someone to be, building self worth through values work, inner child work and what it actually means to reparent yourself, pleasure as a form of self knowledge, and releasing the shame that lives in your sxuality and your body. She also shares something that happened recently that stopped her in her tracks — a reminder that nobody gets to the other side alone. Not her clients. Not her. Not you. If you have ever felt like you understand yourself but still can't seem to feel different, this episode is for you.

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You've been asking Lauren questions about decentering men — how to talk about it, what actually changed first, whether your relationships survive it — and today she's answering them. If you're on the fence about decentering men or you're already doing the work and want to go deeper, this is a must-listen. These are the questions women are actually sitting with, and Lauren's not holding back on the answers.

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You've been doing the work. Decentering men, healing, growing, showing up for yourself. But when's the last time your life actually felt magical? In this episode we're talking about whimsy — what it actually is, why your space matters more than you think, and how to stop living inside your Pinterest board and start building the life that's already on it. Lauren gets into why being away from her own space cracked something open, why choosing delight right now is not frivolous, and how romancing yourself is what decentering men actually looks like in practice. Plus how to whimsy out your life without spending a ton of money — because Facebook Marketplace and thrift stores exist and we are using them. If you have been waiting for the right apartment, the right moment, the right version of your life to start making it feel like yours — this is your permission slip.

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What does it actually look like to date a woman who is decentering men? My boyfriend Joey joins me to answer that — from his side. He's confident, he's not threatened, and he has some honest opinions about what being a good partner actually means (spoiler: it's not doing the dishes). If you've ever wondered whether decentering men and being in a relationship can coexist, this one's for you.

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