The Dudela Podcast | Fatherhood Real Talk for New Dads

One day it just slips out: "Do I have to follow you around and turn off the lights?" Congrats. You're becoming your dad.

John and Michael dig into the dad traits they're inheriting, the ones worth keeping, and the ones they'd rather leave behind. Thermostat wars, a dad who threw away a paycheck left on the counter, and a tuna casserole night that ended at Popeyes.

Then the real stuff. Why your fuse gets short when life gets heavy. When a sharp voice is the right call (a toddler heading for a parking lot) and when it isn't (bathwater on the floor). Why saying sorry to your kid matters. And why the best thing you can give your family is being a steady dad, the same guy every time you walk through the door.

Expecting? Grab a piece of paper tonight. Write down the dad you want to be and the dad you don't. No good model at home? Find a dad you respect and ask him how he does it.

IN THIS EPISODE
- The dad habits you swore you'd never have
- Staying calm when you're stressed and running on empty
- When it's OK to raise your voice with a toddler
- Apologizing to your kid
- Being a steady, consistent dad
- Finding a father figure if you didn't have one

LINKS:
1. Win a BabySense Pro video monitor: enter at https://thedudelaco.com/babysense and follow @the_dudela_official on Instagram.

Entries close Tuesday, Oct 27 at 11:59pm MT. Didn't win? Code DudeLA10 gets you 10% off.

2. The Dudela Prep Kit: https://thedudelaco.com/kit

3. Spit-Up Society, $5/mo: https://thedudelaco.com/join/spit-up-society

Want to get connected with another dad? Message us on Instagram @the_dudela_official

Decide Who You're Going to Let Down

You cannot be everything to everyone.

At some point, someone is going to be disappointed.

Your boss wants more hours. Your friends want you at dinner. Your parents want to see you. Your house needs work. Your wife needs help. Your kids want you home.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, you're trying to find a little time for yourself.

So here's the uncomfortable question: Who are you willing to let down?

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael tackle one of the hardest parts of being an intentional father: deciding what actually deserves your time, energy, money, and attention when everything feels important.

Because being a good dad doesn't mean doing everything.

Sometimes it means having the courage to disappoint someone so you can show up for the people who matter most.

Michael kicks things off with the chaos of moving into a new house while Abigail is pregnant with baby number two and they're raising a toddler. Between moving expenses, unpacking, preparing a nursery, keeping up with work, and managing family life, there's a lot happening.

And when life gets that busy, it's easy to start keeping score.

Who's doing more around the house?

Who's carrying the financial responsibilities?

Who's handling the kids?

Who's making the sacrifices?

But marriage isn't a competition. And just because you don't see everything your spouse is carrying doesn't mean they aren't carrying it.

We talk about recognizing the invisible responsibilities in your relationship, communicating before resentment builds, and why keeping score is one of the fastest ways to make an already stressful season harder.

Then we get into the bigger issue.

What happens when every responsibility feels like your number one priority?

You want to provide for your family, but you also want to be present.

You want to be a good friend, but you don't want to miss bedtime.

You want to pursue opportunities, but you don't want your marriage to suffer.

You want to invest in yourself, but you feel guilty taking time away from your kids.

And sometimes, even when you're doing everything you can, it still feels like you're falling short.

John shares how he's navigating multiple professional commitments, growing Dudela, and protecting time with Viv and the girls. He explains why he and Viv have agreed to give certain opportunities a defined season before deciding which ones deserve a place in their lives moving forward.

Michael shares why saying no is difficult when you want to be a great husband, father, son, brother, and friend, and why sometimes the right decision actually means saying yes to something you've been avoiding.

We also talk about the importance of not letting yourself down.

Because if you sacrifice every hobby, friendship, and personal interest in the name of being a good dad, eventually you may find yourself exhausted, frustrated, and disconnected from the man you wanted to become.

The goal isn't to disappoint everyone else. The goal is to stop disappointing the people and priorities that matter most.

And that takes intentional decisions.

Not just once.

Every single day.

In This Episode

• Why dads feel overwhelmed trying to balance everything
• Moving into a new house with a pregnant wife and toddler
• The financial and emotional stress of major family changes
• Why keeping score in marriage creates resentment
• Recognizing the invisible work your spouse does
• How to communicate when responsibilities feel unequal
• Balancing work, marriage, parenting, friendships, and personal time
• Why being a good provider means more than earning money
• Deciding who you're willing to disappoint
• Setting boundaries with work, friends, and extended family
• Why missing bedtime might matter more than missing a networking event
• Learning when to say no and when to say yes
• Making time for hobbies without sacrificing your family
• Why dads shouldn't lose their identities after having kids
• How to prioritize responsibilities when everything feels urgent
• Using a brain dump to reduce stress and mental overload
• Evaluating your calendar and financial priorities
• Giving commitments a season instead of making permanent decisions
• How John and Viv are evaluating professional opportunities together
• Why accountability and friendships matter for dads
• Finding someone you can talk to when fatherhood feels overwhelming
• Why becoming a steady dad happens through daily decisions
• How your children learn from the example you're setting

Feeling Overwhelmed as a Dad?

If you've ever searched for advice about balancing work and family, managing parenting stress, setting boundaries as a father, avoiding dad burnout, or making more time for your wife and kids, this conversation is for you.

Maybe you're an expecting dad wondering how you're going to balance a career with a newborn.

Maybe you're a new father struggling with sleep deprivation, financial pressure, and the responsibilities of providing for your family.

Maybe you're a working dad who feels guilty every time you leave the house.

Or maybe you're simply exhausted from trying to be everything to everyone.

You're not alone.

And you don't have to figure it all out today.

You just have to start making decisions that reflect the kind of dad you want to become.

The Brain Dump: A Simple Tool for Overwhelmed Dads

One of the most practical things we discuss in this episode is something we've talked about before at Dudela.

The Brain Dump.

When everything is swirling around in your head, get it out.

Grab a notebook, open your phone, or sit down at your computer and write down everything you're carrying.

Work responsibilities. Home projects. Financial concerns. Family commitments. Appointments. Things you've promised people. Things you want to accomplish.

All of it.

Then start asking yourself:

What actually needs my attention right now?

What can wait?

What can I delegate?

What can I say no to?

What am I doing simply because I feel obligated?

And what am I neglecting that actually matters to me?

Sometimes the biggest source of stress isn't how much you have to do.

It's trying to hold all of it in your head at once.

Get it out, organize it, and start making decisions.

Join the Spit Up Society

Being a good dad is hard. Doing it alone is even harder.

That's why we created the Spit Up Society.

For just $5 per month, you can join John and Michael for two live Dudela conversations every month, ask questions, share what you're going through, and connect with other dads who are trying to figure this whole fatherhood thing out.

Our calls happen on the first Tuesday and third Thursday of every month.

Can't make a call? We record them so members can catch up whenever they have time.

You'll also get access to exclusive content, including The Womb Watch, where we're following Michael and Abigail through their second pregnancy.

Whether you're preparing for your first baby, navigating the newborn stage, or trying to balance work and family life, we'd love to have you.

Join the Spit Up Society:

https://thedudelaco.com/join/spit%2Dup%2Dsociety/

Free Dad Prep Guide

Becoming a dad is one of the biggest transitions you'll ever experience.

And there's a lot nobody tells you.

Our free guide, 15 Things Every Dad to Be Should Know, helps expecting fathers understand what matters most during pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and the transition into fatherhood.

It's practical advice from dads who have been there.

Get your free Dad Prep Guide:

https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide

The Dudela Prep Kit

Want to take the next step?

The Dudela Prep Kit is designed to help expecting dads prepare for the responsibilities of fatherhood before their baby arrives.

From finances and relationships to emotional preparation, labor and delivery, postpartum, and building your family's identity, this kit gives you practical tools to start taking action.

Because information is helpful.

Information without action is nothing.

Get the Dudela Prep Kit:

https://www.thedudelaco.com/kit/

Ask Dudela

Sometimes you don't need another article.

Sometimes you just need another dad to listen.

In this episode, we talk about how important it is to have someone you can vent to without feeling judged.

Maybe you're stressed about money.

Maybe work is overwhelming.

Maybe you're struggling with your marriage.

Maybe you're terrified about becoming a dad.

Or maybe you just put your kid down at 2:30 in the morning and need to get something off your chest.

That's what Ask Dudela is for.

Head to our website and leave us a voicemail.

You can ask a question, share a win, talk through a struggle, or simply tell us what's going on.

We listen to every message.

And if you don't have another dad in your life you can talk to, we'd love to be that community for you.

Leave us a voicemail:

https://www.thedudelaco.com/voicemail/

Follow Dudela

Want more conversations about pregnancy, fatherhood, marriage, parenting, and becoming the dad you want to be?

Follow along and join the conversation.

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/the_dudela_official/

TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@the_dudela_official

YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@TheDudela%2DOfficial

Your Challenge This Week

We're giving you two challenges this week.

Challenge 1: Decide Who You're Willing to Let Down

Look at your calendar for the next two weeks.

Find one commitment that doesn't align with your biggest priorities right now.

Maybe it's an unnecessary meeting.

Maybe it's a social event you've been dreading.

Maybe it's an extra project that can wait.

Maybe it's something you agreed to simply because you didn't want to disappoint someone.

Ask yourself:

If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?

Then make a decision.

And remember, sometimes the right choice is to keep the commitment. The point is to make that choice intentionally.

Challenge 2: Check In on Another Dad

Think of one dad in your life.

Maybe he's expecting his first baby.

Maybe he's raising toddlers.

Maybe he's going through a difficult season.

Maybe you haven't talked in a while.

Send him a text.

Something as simple as:

"Hey man, just checking in. How are you doing? Been thinking about you."

You never know how much someone might need that.

Because we're all carrying something.

And sometimes knowing another dad cares enough to ask makes all the difference.

Being a good dad isn't about getting everything right. It's about consistently choosing what matters most.

That's how you become a steady dad.

And that's what Dudela is all about.

What does the CEO of Babysense think parents actually need at 3 AM?

Maybe less technology, not more.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael sit down with Elad Erdan, CEO of Babysense, for an honest conversation about baby tech, baby monitors, sleep, parenting anxiety, marriage, career, and what it means to become a deeply involved dad.

Elad is a dad of two, an entrepreneur, and the CEO of a company that has been helping families navigate one of the most stressful parts of early parenthood since 1991: keeping an eye on your baby while still getting enough peace of mind to actually sleep yourself.

And his path to Babysense started with becoming a dad.

Elad shares how the birth of his first child forced him to reconsider the life and career he was building. Fatherhood changed his priorities, his relationship with work, and eventually the direction of his career.

We talk about the pressure dads feel to provide while also being present, prioritizing your relationship after kids, building systems that make family life easier, and why accepting that you cannot control everything might actually make you a better father.

Then we get into the baby tech.

Elad explains what parents should actually look for when choosing a baby monitor, the difference between WiFi and non WiFi monitoring, privacy versus remote access, breathing motion monitoring, split screen systems, and why more parenting data does not always create more peace of mind.

He also shares a simple test he uses when thinking about technology for exhausted parents:

Does this make your life better at 3 AM?

Because if a product has you staring at another screen when you should be sleeping, something has gone wrong.

John also shares why he originally chose a Babysense split screen monitor for his twins and how it has worked for his family, while Michael talks about preparing for baby number two and realizing that the gear you choose for your first baby may need to work for the family you are still building. transcript.txtTXT

But some of the best parts of this conversation have almost nothing to do with technology.

We talk about something we have been noticing at Dudela for a while:

The Dad Renaissance.

More dads are researching the gear. More dads are waking up at night. More dads are changing diapers. More dads are asking questions. More dads are prioritizing their partners. More dads are intentionally choosing to be deeply involved in their families.

And Elad is seeing that shift from inside the baby industry too.

You do not become a great dad on day one.

You grow into it.

In This Episode

• How becoming a dad completely changed Elad's career
• Going from law and entrepreneurship to CEO of Babysense
• What fatherhood teaches you about control
• The pressure of providing while also being present
• Why prioritizing your partner matters after having kids
• Building systems that make newborn life easier
• Elad's 3 AM test for parenting technology
• Why more parenting data can sometimes create more anxiety
• What dads should look for when choosing a baby monitor
• WiFi versus non WiFi baby monitors
• Privacy, convenience, and remote access
• How breathing motion monitoring differs from video monitoring
• Choosing a baby monitor for twins or multiple children
• Split screen and two camera baby monitors
• What John looked for when choosing a monitor for his twins
• Why Michael needs a different setup with baby number two coming
• Babysense Touch and combining local and remote monitoring
• Preparing your baby gear for the family you plan to have
• Why some baby products are worth investing more in
• The growing involvement of dads in baby gear decisions
• The Dad Renaissance
• Why you will not be a perfect dad on day one
• Elad's advice for the exhausted new dad awake at 3 AM

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This episode is for you.

Check Out Babysense

John has been a Babysense customer since becoming a dad to twins, and Dudela is now a Babysense affiliate.

If you are researching a monitor for your first baby, twins, multiple rooms, or another baby on the way, check out Babysense through our affiliate link:

Shop Babysense through Dudela

If you purchase through our link, Dudela may earn a commission at no additional cost to you.

One of our favorite ideas from this conversation is simple:

Technology should reassure parents, not give them another thing to obsess over.

Start with the problem you are actually trying to solve for your family. Then find the technology that helps without adding more noise.

Join the Spit Up Society

The podcast is where we talk about fatherhood. The Spit Up Society is where we get to talk with you.

For $5 per month, you get two live Dudela calls every month, exclusive content, The Womb Watch, and a growing community of dads who actually want to be intentional about this stuff.

Bring your questions about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, marriage, money, newborn life, baby gear, or fatherhood.

Join the Spit Up Society

Free Dad Prep Guide

Just found out you are going to be a dad?

Our free Dad Prep Guide covers the practical things we wish somebody had explained before we became dads and gives you a place to start preparing for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and life with a newborn.

Get the Free Dad Prep Guide

Dudela Prep Kit

Want to go deeper?

The Dudela Prep Kit helps first time dads intentionally prepare for the areas of fatherhood that tend to hit all at once: your relationship, emotions, finances, labor and delivery, postpartum, family identity, and the transition into actually becoming Dad.

Because information is helpful.

Information without action is nothing.

Get the Dudela Prep Kit

Ask Dudela

Have a question about pregnancy, baby gear, relationships, newborn life, or becoming a dad?

Send it to us.

Leave John and Michael a voicemail through Dudela. We listen to every message, and your question may become part of a future episode or live conversation.

Visit Dudela

Your Challenge This Week

Ask yourself:

What system could make our family life a little easier?

Maybe it is how you handle nighttime wakeups. Maybe it is how you divide responsibilities. Maybe it is your bedtime routine. Maybe it is the technology you are using. Maybe it is simply creating a regular check in with your partner.

Do not try to control everything.

Build one system that removes a little friction from your family.

Then use the energy you get back to be more present with the people who matter.

That is the point.

Baby #2 Is Coming: What I'm Doing Differently This Pregnancy

The Dudela family is growing.

Michael and Abigail are expecting baby girl number two, due on Christmas Day.

And pregnancy feels a little different the second time around.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John sits down with Michael to talk about what pregnancy number two has actually been like, what he learned the first time, and what he is intentionally doing differently as a husband and dad this time around.

Because during your first pregnancy, everything is new.

You are tracking the baby's size every week. You are Googling symptoms. You are trying to figure out which appointments matter. You are buying baby gear you have never heard of. You are wondering how much everything is going to cost. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, you are trying to figure out what your pregnant wife actually needs from you.

The second time, you know a little more about what is coming.

Michael shares what has been different during Abigail's second pregnancy, including more nausea, earlier body changes, food aversions, cravings, preparing their toddler Riley to become a big sister, moving into a bigger home, and realizing just how quickly the second pregnancy seems to move.

We also talk about why the halfway point of pregnancy can be such an important moment for dads.

Around 20 weeks, the pregnancy can suddenly start feeling very real. There is a growing belly. You may be feeling the baby move. The anatomy scan gives you an incredible look at your child. And the countdown toward labor, delivery, and newborn life starts getting a whole lot shorter.

That is when preparation matters.

Michael shares why dads should prioritize important ultrasound appointments, how to support your wife when her body starts changing quickly, why you need to become a better listener instead of trying to solve everything, and how taking things off your wife's mental load can make a huge difference.

We also get into the reality of preparing financially for another baby, planning a babymoon, getting ready for sleepless nights again, deciding which baby products are actually worth keeping, and figuring out how to give your first child the attention they need when a newborn enters the family.

And if you are nervous about becoming a dad?

That is okay too.

You do not need to have fatherhood figured out before your baby arrives.

You just need to start becoming the kind of dad who wants to figure it out.

In This Episode

• Michael and Abigail are expecting baby girl number two
• Why pregnancy number two feels completely different
• Their Christmas Day due date
• What has surprised Michael during the second pregnancy
• Pregnancy nausea, cravings, food aversions, and exhaustion
• Why the baby bump can show earlier during a second pregnancy
• What pregnancy feels like when you already have a toddler
• Preparing your first child to become a big sister or brother
• What dads should know around 20 weeks pregnant
• Why dads should attend important ultrasound appointments
• What to expect from the anatomy scan
• When pregnancy starts feeling real for dads
• How to support your pregnant wife without trying to fix everything
• Becoming a better listener during pregnancy
• Taking things off your wife's mental load without waiting to be asked
• Why pregnancy requires dads to become more selfless
• Preparing financially for hospital bills, diapers, formula, and newborn life
• What Michael learned financially from baby number one
• Preparing for sleepless nights when you already have a toddler
• How to make sure your first child still feels seen after baby arrives
• Why a babymoon is worth considering
• The best time during pregnancy to get away together
• Baby products Michael will use again
• Baby products they probably will not buy again
• Why bottle feeding flexibility can help dads become more involved
• How fatherhood changes what you consider important
• Why it is normal for expecting dads to feel nervous
• Becoming the dad you want to be before baby arrives

If You've Ever Searched

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This episode is for you.

Follow Michael's Pregnancy in Real Time With The Womb Watch

Michael is not just talking about this pregnancy after the fact.

We are documenting it as it happens.

The Womb Watch follows Michael and Abigail through pregnancy number two in real time.

Every few weeks, John and Michael sit down for shorter conversations about what is happening right now, including appointments, ultrasounds, milestones, what Abigail is experiencing, what Michael is learning, and what dads coming behind him should know.

If your wife recently got pregnant, you can essentially follow along with another dad who is just a little farther down the road.

The Womb Watch is exclusively available inside the Spit Up Society.

Join the Spit Up Society

You do not have to figure out fatherhood alone.

For $5 per month, the Spit Up Society gives you access to The Womb Watch, exclusive Dudela content, and two live calls with us every month where you can bring whatever questions you are dealing with right now.

Pregnancy.

Birth.

Postpartum.

Marriage.

Money.

Newborn life.

Fatherhood.

Bring it.

Join the Spit Up Society here:

https://thedudelaco.com/join/spit-up-society/

Find Resources for Your Exact Stage of Pregnancy

Not sure what you should actually be doing right now?

Head to Dudela and choose where you are in the pregnancy journey.

We have resources designed to help dads understand what matters at different stages so you can spend less time Googling and more time actually preparing.

https://thedudelaco.com/

Free Dad Prep Guide

If you just found out you are going to be a dad, start here.

https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide

Our free Dad Prep Guide covers the things we wish someone had told us before becoming dads and gives you practical ways to start preparing for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and newborn life.

Dudela Prep Kit

Want to take preparation seriously?

https://dudelaco.gumroad.com/l/dudela-prep-kit

The Dudela Prep Kit gives first time dads a practical framework for preparing for fatherhood, including your relationship, emotions, finances, labor and delivery, postpartum, family identity, and life after your baby arrives.

Because knowing more is helpful.

Doing something with what you know is what actually prepares you.

Ask Dudela

Are you somewhere in pregnancy right now and have a question?

Maybe you just saw the positive pregnancy test and have no idea what happens next.

Maybe you are heading into the anatomy scan.

Maybe your wife is miserable and you do not know how to help.

Maybe you are excited about becoming a dad but also quietly terrified.

Send it to us.

Leave John and Michael a voicemail through the Dudela website. We listen to every message, and your question may become part of a future podcast or live conversation.

https://thedudelaco.com/

Follow Dudela

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/the_dudela_official/

TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@the_dudela_official

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@TheDudela-Official

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Dudela-61566037880710/

Your Challenge This Week

If your wife is pregnant, ask yourself one question:

What is something she is carrying right now that I can carry for her?

Do not ask her to create a list for you.

Look around.

Maybe it is dinner.

Maybe it is laundry.

Maybe it is getting up with your toddler on Saturday morning so she can sleep.

Maybe it is researching the car seat.

Maybe it is making the appointment.

Maybe she just needs you to listen without trying to solve anything.

Find one thing.

Own it.

Because preparing for fatherhood is not just about knowing what happens next.

It is about becoming the kind of man your family can count on when it does.

What do moms actually wish dads understood about pregnancy, postpartum, and becoming parents?

This time, we decided to stop answering for them.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael are joined by their wives, Vivian and Abigail, for an honest conversation about pregnancy, postpartum, marriage, motherhood, careers, community, and what support from a husband actually looks like when life gets hard.

And there is some pretty big Dudela family news.

Michael and Abigail are expecting baby number two, another girl.

That means Dudela is officially going through another pregnancy in real time.

We talk about what this pregnancy has looked like so far, pregnancy nausea and food aversions, preparing for a second baby, and what Abigail needs from Michael during pregnancy that she does not always know how to ask for.

But this conversation goes much deeper than pregnancy.

Viv opens up about how difficult the postpartum season was after having twins and what it felt like to lose part of herself during those early months of motherhood. She shares why patience, grace, friendship, and having people around her mattered so much while she figured out who she was becoming.

Abigail shares what it is like balancing motherhood with a career she genuinely loves, the guilt that can come with being a working mom, and why having a husband who encourages her career instead of making her feel guilty about it has mattered so much.

We also get into something every expecting dad needs to hear.

Your wife may not always be able to tell you exactly what she needs.

Sometimes supporting her means paying attention.

Take the baby.

Handle bath time.

Figure out dinner.

Give her permission to rest.

Encourage her to spend time with friends.

Make the decision she is too exhausted to make.

Create room for the parts of her identity that exist outside of being a mom.

And during postpartum, understand that the woman beside you is experiencing one of the biggest physical, hormonal, emotional, and identity changes of her life.

She may not seem exactly like the woman you married for a while.

That does not mean something has gone wrong.

She is becoming someone new too.

This conversation is about learning how to become parents together, how to build a village around your family, and how husbands and wives can give each other grace while everyone figures it out.

Whether you are trying for a baby, expecting your first, preparing for the fourth trimester, or already deep in toddler life, there is something in this conversation for you.

In This Episode

• Michael and Abigail announce baby number two

• What this pregnancy has actually been like so far

• Pregnancy nausea, exhaustion, and food aversions

• Preparing for a second baby versus preparing for your first

• What pregnant wives actually need from their husbands

• Why your wife may struggle to ask you for help

• Learning to anticipate your partner's needs

• Why decision fatigue is so real for moms

• Giving your wife permission to rest without guilt

• What dads need to understand about the postpartum season

• Giving your wife grace during the fourth trimester

• What it feels like when your spouse does not seem like herself after baby

• Postpartum identity changes and becoming a mom

• Supporting your wife's career after having kids

• Working mom guilt and balancing career with motherhood

• Why friendships and community matter so much after having kids

• Building your village before you desperately need one

• Why parenting alongside friends makes the hard seasons easier

• Understanding that toddler behavior is communication

• How dads can respond differently to tantrums and difficult behavior

• Why your child's behavior is not always about you

• Creating meaningful family moments out of ordinary days

• Learning your strengths as a mom and dad

• Becoming a team instead of keeping score

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This episode is for you.

Meet the Wives

For this episode, we handed part of the microphones over to the women who have been beside Dudela from the beginning.

Abigail is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst with a background in Applied Behavior Analysis. She works with children on developmental skills, communication, behavior, and helping families understand why behaviors happen in the first place.

One of her biggest reminders for dads in this episode is simple:

Behavior is communication.

When your toddler is screaming, hitting, melting down, or doing something that drives you insane, it is easy to take that behavior personally.

But your child may simply be trying to communicate something they do not yet have the language or skills to express.

Vivian is a mom of twins, entrepreneur, and wedding planner behind The Alpenglow Edit. Her love for creating meaningful moments has carried directly into motherhood and the way she and John intentionally create traditions, adventures, and memories with their girls.

She also gets honest about the harder side of becoming a mom, including the postpartum season and eventually finding parts of herself again through starting her business.

Together, they give us something we want more of on Dudela:

The mom's side of the story.

The Womb Watch Is Coming

With Michael and Abigail expecting their second daughter, we have been documenting this pregnancy behind the scenes.

The Womb Watch follows their pregnancy in real time through appointments, conversations, questions, preparation, and Michael figuring out what it means to go through pregnancy as a dad for the second time.

The Womb Watch is exclusive content for members of the Spit Up Society.

Join the Spit Up Society

The podcast is where we talk about fatherhood.

The Spit Up Society is where we get to talk with you.

For $5 per month, you get access to two live Dudela Q&A calls every month, The Womb Watch, exclusive content, behind the scenes conversations, early access to Dudela resources, and a community of dads figuring this stuff out together.

Our live calls happen on the first Tuesday and third Thursday of every month.

Bring your questions about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, newborn life, marriage, finances, fatherhood, or whatever you are dealing with right now.

Can't make the live call? Members get access to the recordings too.

Join the Spit Up Society here:

https://thedudelaco.com/join/spit-up-society/

Free Dad Prep Guide

Preparing for your first baby?

Start here:

https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide

Our free Dad Prep Guide gives expecting dads practical advice for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and becoming a father.

Dudela Prep Kit

Want to go deeper?

https://dudelaco.gumroad.com/l/dudela-prep-kit

The Dudela Prep Kit is our complete roadmap for first time dads preparing for labor, delivery, postpartum, and life with a newborn.

It includes 33 pages, 6 pillars, and 9 printable tools designed to help you stop wondering what you should be doing and start preparing for what comes next.

Ask Dudela

Have a question you want us to answer?

Maybe your wife is pregnant and you have no idea what she needs.

Maybe you are struggling through the newborn stage.

Maybe your toddler is losing their mind and you cannot figure out why.

Maybe you just need another dad's perspective.

Leave us a voicemail directly through the Dudela website. We listen to every message and may answer yours on the podcast or during one of our live conversations.

Follow Dudela

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/the_dudela_official/

TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@the_dudela_official

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@TheDudela-Official

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Dudela-61566037880710/

Your Challenge This Week

Ask your wife one question:

What is one thing I could take completely off your plate this week?

Then listen.

And if you already know the answer, do not make her manage you through it.

Take the kids.

Make dinner.

Handle bedtime.

Clean the kitchen.

Give her an hour alone.

Make the decision.

Whatever it is, own it from beginning to end.

Being a steady dad is not always about knowing exactly what to say.

Sometimes it is simply noticing what your family needs and showing up before someone has to ask.

Trying should be the fun part, right?

Trying for a baby is supposed to be the fun part. Then the ovulation strips show up, the fertile window turns into a deadline, and sex starts feeling like something you're clocking into.

Nobody really preps dads for that.

In this episode, John and Michael sit down outside in Dillon, Colorado (concert crowd noise included) to talk honestly about trying to conceive: John and Viv's five months, Michael and Abigail's six to eight, and every emotion that showed up in between.

They get into the stuff most guys never say out loud. The pressure of being "the star of the show" — if you don't perform, there's no baby. The mindset shift of scheduled sex, and how to actually make it fun instead of clinical. What it felt like when a pregnancy test came back negative and not realizing until that night how much the moment meant to his wife. The golf trip Michael was on when Abigail got a negative test the morning of his sister's baby shower, and what he learned about not being emotionally present for it.

They also cover the practical side: tracking ovulation, timing morning sex around testosterone levels, why hot tubs are a fertility myth worth knowing about, and when it's worth getting your own levels checked. And the mental side almost nobody addresses — the eight inches between your ears that start asking "is this ever going to work" after a few negative tests in a row.

But the bigger point isn't the biology. It's that the trying season, hard as it is, is a chance to build the communication and partnership that carries you into parenthood. John's twins were conceived on Leap Day, an accident neither of them expected, after months of turning a stressful window into something they looked forward to together.

If you've been trying for one month or two years, this is a reminder you're not the only one white-knuckling the two-week wait, and you don't have to carry it alone.

🍼 In This Episode

• What trying to conceive actually feels like for dads, not just moms
• Why the fertile window creates pressure most men don't talk about
• Scheduled sex: how to keep intimacy fun instead of clinical
• The "star of the show" pressure and how to handle an off night
• What to do when a pregnancy test comes back negative, and how to actually support your wife in that moment
• Tracking ovulation, morning timing, and other practical strategies
• Why hot tubs, diet, and drinking habits are worth a second look while trying
• The mental side of trying to conceive that men rarely admit to
• How comparison creeps in when friends start having kids
• Turning the trying season into a foundation for your relationship, not just a means to an end

🎯 If You've Ever Searched
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This episode is for you.

🧡 Resources for Dads

Free Dad Prep Guide - https://www.thedudelaco.com/guideIf you're preparing for your first baby, start here. Our free guide covers the things we wish someone had told us before becoming dads and gives you practical ways to start preparing now.

Dudela Prep Kit -https://www.thedudelaco.com/kitWant to go deeper? The Dudela Prep Kit is our complete preparation framework for dads, $37, covering pregnancy, birth, postpartum, your relationship, emotions, finances, newborn life, and the transition into fatherhood.

🎙️ Ask Another Dad
Going through something you want to talk about? Maybe you're trying for a baby. Maybe pregnancy is kicking your ass. Maybe your newborn won't sleep. Maybe you just need another dad's perspective.

Leave John and Michael a voicemail at http://thedudelaco.com/voicemail, or email dude@thedudelaco.com. We listen to every one and respond when we can.

🤝 Join the Spit-Up Society
Sometimes you don't need another article or Google search. You need other dads.

The Spit-Up Society is $5 a month and gets you two live Q&A calls with John and Michael every month, a private community, and early access to merch and guides.

Join athttps://www.thedudelaco.com/join/spit-up-society

📱 Follow Dudela

• Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/the_dudela_official/
• TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@the_dudela_official
• YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@TheDudela-Official

💪 Your Challenge This Week

If you're currently trying for a baby, have one conversation with your partner that has nothing to do with timing, ovulation, or whether this is "the month." Ask her how she's actually doing with all of this. Then tell her how you're doing too. No fixing it, no strategy, no calendar. Just talk.

Before you're mom and dad, you're still the two people building this family together. If trying has started to feel like work, find one way this week to make being together feel like the two of you again.

Every dad has strengths.

Every dad has weaknesses.

The question is whether you know what yours are.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael revisit one of our most popular conversations about what dads should be focusing on and take it one step deeper. Instead of talking about checklists and preparation, we talk about the man behind the dad.

Because becoming a great father is not about pretending you're perfect. It's about knowing yourself well enough to build on your strengths, recognize your blind spots, and intentionally become the dad your family needs.

We share honest stories from the past two years of fatherhood, from potty training twins and emotional reactions to the simple moments that reveal who we're becoming. We talk about learning to pause before reacting, giving yourself grace after you mess up, communicating honestly with your spouse, and remembering that your kids are watching far more than they are listening.

Your children will copy your habits long before they understand your words.

The way you treat your wife.

The way you respond to stress.

The way you talk about yourself.

The way you apologize.

The way you lead.

Those are the things they'll remember.

Whether you're expecting your first baby or you're already chasing toddlers around the house, this episode will challenge you to take an honest look in the mirror and become a more intentional, emotionally steady father.

In This Episode

• Why every dad needs to know both his strengths and weaknesses

• The difference between reacting and responding

• How planning ahead helps you stay calm under pressure

• Potty training twins and learning patience in real time

• Why your kids copy everything you do, even the things you don't notice

• Building healthy communication with your spouse through regular check ins

• Giving yourself grace after losing your cool

• Why apologizing to your kids matters, even when they're too young to understand

• Leading your family with intention instead of emotion

• How dads and moms naturally bring different strengths to parenting

• Practical ways to become proactive instead of reactive

• Why becoming a better husband helps you become a better father

If You've Ever Searched

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This episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned

🧡 Free Dad Prep Guide

https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide

A practical guide packed with the essential things every expecting dad should know before baby arrives.

💪 Dudela Prep Kit

https://dudelaco.gumroad.com/l/dudela-prep-kit

Our complete fatherhood preparation framework covering pregnancy, birth, postpartum, finances, emotions, communication, and practical tools like the Brain Dump and One Word Check In.

🎙️ Ask Dudela

Have a question about fatherhood, pregnancy, marriage, or newborn life?

Leave us a voicemail directly on our website and we may answer it on a future episode.

🤝 Join the Spit Up Society

Join our live community of dads for just $5 per month.

You'll get access to two live Q&A sessions every month where we answer your questions, share practical fatherhood advice, and build community with dads who are in the same season of life.

Join here:

https://www.thedudelaco.com/Join

Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/c/Dudela

or

Ko fi
https://ko-fi.com/dudela

📱 Follow Dudela

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/the_dudela_official/

TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@the_dudela_official

YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@TheDudela-Official

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Dudela-61566037880710/

Your Challenge This Week

Ask your spouse one simple question:

"What's one strength you see in me as a dad, and what's one area where I could grow?"

Listen without getting defensive.

Then ask yourself one more question:

Am I becoming the kind of dad I hope my kids remember?

Growth starts with honesty. And every great dad is still growing.

Everyone tells you to put your kids first.

But one of the best things you can do for your kids is invest in the relationship that started your family.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael share what happened when they each took their first kid free trips with their wives after becoming parents. From airport freedom and uninterrupted dinners to missing their toddlers and rediscovering what it feels like to simply be husband and wife again, this conversation is an honest look at why healthy marriages create healthy families.

Leaving your baby for the first time can feel exciting, terrifying, and even a little guilt inducing. Is it too soon? Will they be okay? Should we even go?

We unpack those questions along with practical advice on when to plan your first overnight trip, how to lean on grandparents and your support system, why staying home isn't always enough for a real date night, and how stepping away from your daily routine helps you reconnect as a couple.

We also talk about something many new parents experience but rarely say out loud. After months of diapers, bottles, nap schedules, and surviving on little sleep, it's easy to forget the people you were before becoming mom and dad. Taking time away isn't about escaping your kids. It's about strengthening your marriage so you can come home refreshed, connected, and ready to lead your family well.

Whether you're expecting your first baby or you're deep in the toddler years, this episode is a reminder that your marriage deserves intentional investment too.

In This Episode

• Why your marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids
• What it felt like taking our first kid free vacations
• How long you should actually get away as new parents
• Date nights versus overnight trips and why both matter
• The guilt of leaving your child for the first time
• Why grandparents and your village are essential
• How becoming parents completely changes the way you travel
• Helping your kids become comfortable with trusted caregivers
• Affordable getaway ideas for young families
• Why getting out of your house helps you reconnect
• Building a marriage that lasts beyond the parenting years
• Practical ways to prioritize your spouse without feeling selfish

If You've Ever Searched

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This episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned

🧡 Free Dad Prep Guide

https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide

Prepare for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and your baby's first year with practical advice built specifically for expecting dads.

💪 Dudela Prep Kit

https://dudelaco.gumroad.com/l/dudela-prep-kit

Our complete fatherhood preparation system with practical tools covering emotions, finances, communication, birth, postpartum, routines, and everything we wish someone had taught us before becoming dads.

🎙️ Ask Dudela

Have a question about pregnancy, fatherhood, marriage, or newborn life?

Leave us a voicemail directly on our website and we may answer it in a future episode.

🤝 Join the Spit Up Society

Join our live community of dads for just $5 per month.

Twice every month we host live Q&A calls where you can ask questions, share wins, learn from other dads, and build real community.

Join here:

Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/c/Dudela

or

Ko fi
https://ko-fi.com/dudela

📱 Follow Dudela

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/the_dudela_official/

TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@the_dudela_official

YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@TheDudela-Official

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Dudela-61566037880710/

Your Challenge This Week

Pull out your calendar.

Find one date with your spouse.

Not "sometime next month."

An actual date.

Maybe it's dinner.

Maybe it's coffee.

Maybe it's one night away while grandparents watch the kids.

Put it on the calendar and protect it.

Because one day your kids will grow up and leave home.

The marriage you're building today is the relationship you'll still have then.

Everyone talks about the registry.
Everyone talks about the nursery colors.
Almost nobody tells you the real number.

At Dudela, we believe part of being a steady dad is being a prepared one. That means having the money conversation before the bills show up, not after.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael break down the true cost of bringing a baby home, from the moment you see the plus sign through the first year of life. This is the conversation most guys don't have until they're staring at a credit card statement wondering where it all went.

The reality is that baby costs hit you in waves you don't see coming. Diapers alone will run through a box in under a month. Insurance deductibles reset the second you move from an individual plan to a family plan, which means you can hit your out of pocket max once during pregnancy and then hit it again when the baby arrives. Hospital bills show up weeks later with numbers that don't match what anyone told you at the appointment. And that's before you've bought a single onesie.

In this episode, we walk through real numbers. What a crib, dresser, and rocking chair actually cost. What a good car seat and stroller run you. What the average vaginal birth and C-section cost on insurance, and what the hospital will actually bill you if things go sideways. What a full first year costs excluding childcare, and what childcare itself adds on top of that. We also get into what nobody explains clearly, like why your out of pocket max resets, why five different people at your insurance company can give you five different answers, and why you need to ask the same question more than once before you trust it.

We also talk about the tools that help long term. Setting a household number you're both aligned on, even if it's arbitrary. 529 plans. The newer Trump Accounts for kids born within the eligible window. And why "set it and forget it" savings beats obsessing over a balance you can't change yet.

Most importantly, we talk about mindset. This isn't about scaring you. It's about giving you the landscape so you can plan instead of react, and so you and your wife are aligned before the first bill lands instead of blindsided by it.

🍼 In This Episode

• Why the money conversation needs to start before the stroller conversation
• How fast diapers, wipes, and formula actually add up
• Why your insurance deductible and out of pocket max reset when you add a baby
• What a vaginal birth and C-section typically cost on insurance
• The real hospital bill numbers behind a NICU stay
• What nursery setup actually costs, room by room
• Car seats, strollers, and the gear that's worth spending more on
• The gear that's worth buying used or skipping entirely
• What a full first year of baby costs, excluding childcare
• The real range for childcare and daycare per child
• Why getting a second car seat base is a small cost with a big payoff
• 529 plans and Trump Accounts explained simply
• Why aligning on a number as a couple matters more than the number itself

🎯 If You've Ever Searched
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This episode is for you.

🧡 Resources Mentioned

• Free Dad Prep Guide
• Dudela Prep Kit
Our complete fatherhood preparation framework, including the financial planning tools and action steps to help you have the money conversation with your wife before the bills start showing up.
• Ask Dudela
Need advice, have a question, or just need to vent? Leave us a voicemail directly on our website and we'll do our best to respond.
• Follow Along

• Instagram: @the_dudela_official
• TikTok: @the_dudela_official
• YouTube: The Dudela Official
• Facebook: The Dudela

💪 Your Challenge This Week
Pick a number.

Sit down with your wife and agree on a rough monthly number you're aiming to spend on baby expenses. It doesn't have to be right. It just has to be shared.

Then ask yourselves:
Where can we cut back right now?
Where can we grow our income?
What's one bill we haven't talked about yet, like insurance, that we need to figure out this week?

You don't need the perfect number. You need to be aligned on one.

The Emotional Side of Fatherhood Nobody Talks About

Everyone talks about the baby's emotions.

Everyone talks about mom's emotions.

Almost nobody talks about dad's.

At Dudela, we believe one of the most important jobs of a father is becoming emotionally steady. Not emotionless. Not perfect. Steady.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael dive into one of the most overlooked parts of fatherhood: your emotional health.

Whether you're expecting your first baby, navigating pregnancy with your partner, or already in the thick of diapers, sleep deprivation, toddler meltdowns, and family responsibilities, this conversation is for you.

The reality is that fatherhood can be emotionally exhausting. You're carrying work stress, financial pressure, relationship dynamics, family responsibilities, and the weight of wanting to be a great dad. Most guys respond the same way. They bottle it up. They push through. They tell themselves they'll deal with it later.

But eventually, later shows up.

In this episode, we unpack what it means to become a steady dad emotionally. Not a perfect dad. Not a dad who never struggles. A dad who understands what he's feeling, processes it in healthy ways, and shows up for his family with consistency instead of chaos.

We share practical tools from the Dudela Prep Kit, including the Brain Dump exercise and the One Word Check In. We talk about finding safe places to process emotions, building friendships that can handle real conversations, and why getting your emotions out of your head and into the open changes everything.

Most importantly, we talk about giving yourself grace. Fatherhood is hard because you care. The fact that you're thinking about these things means you're already doing more than most.

🍼 In This Episode

• Why fatherhood is an emotional rollercoaster before and after baby arrives

• What it means to be a steady dad emotionally

• Why dads tend to bottle up emotions instead of processing them

• Finding healthy outlets before bringing stress home

• The power of friendship and honest conversations between dads

• How exercise, movement, and getting outside help regulate emotions

• The Brain Dump exercise and why it clears mental clutter

• The One Word Check In and how it reveals emotional patterns over time

• Why emotional awareness creates a calmer home environment

• Giving yourself grace during difficult seasons of fatherhood

• What to do when you feel isolated, overwhelmed, or stuck

🎯 If You've Ever Searched

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This episode is for you.

🧡 Resources Mentioned

• Free Dad Prep Guide
https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide

• Dudela Prep Kit
https://dudelaco.gumroad.com/l/dudela-prep-kit

Our complete fatherhood preparation framework featuring the Brain Dump exercise, One Word Check In, and practical tools for navigating pregnancy, birth, and the first year of fatherhood.

• Ask Dudela
Need advice, have a question, or just need to vent? Leave us a voicemail directly on our website and we'll do our best to respond.

• Follow Along

• Instagram: @the_dudela_official
• TikTok: @the_dudela_official
• YouTube: The Dudela Official
• Facebook: The Dudela

💪 Your Challenge This Week

Try a Brain Dump.

Set a timer for five minutes and write down everything taking up space in your head.

Work stress. Financial stress. Relationship stress. Home projects. Random to dos. Everything.

Then ask yourself:

What actually deserves my attention today?

What can wait?

What am I carrying that I don't need to carry anymore?

You might be surprised how much lighter you feel.

Most parenting resources focus on moms.

Most dads are told to just figure it out.

That's exactly why Dudela exists.

In this special rewind episode, John and Michael look back at where Dudela started, how two first time dads found themselves navigating emergency C sections, NICU stays, difficult pregnancies, sleepless nights, and the overwhelming transition into fatherhood, and why they felt called to build something specifically for dads.

What started as a joke on a family vacation became a podcast, a community, and now a growing collection of resources designed to help dads show up with more confidence during one of the biggest transitions of their lives.

John shares the story of bringing premature twin girls into the world after a high risk pregnancy, months of uncertainty, and a month long NICU stay. Michael opens up about an emergency C section that completely changed the birth plan in a matter of minutes. Together, they reflect on what they learned, what surprised them, and what they wish every expecting dad knew before stepping into the delivery room.

But this episode is not just about looking back.

It's about where Dudela is headed next.

We introduce the Dudela Prep Kit, a practical guide built from everything we've learned through our own experiences, conversations with experts, and questions from hundreds of dads. We also share our vision for the future of Dudela, including workshops, community support, resources for new fathers, and creating a place where dads can ask honest questions without feeling judged.

Whether you're expecting your first baby, preparing for delivery day, surviving the newborn stage, or simply trying to become the dad you want to be, this episode is for you.

Here's what we cover:

• The unexpected story behind the name Dudela
• What becoming a dad actually felt like for both of us
• Emergency C sections, NICU stays, and the moments that changed everything
• Why most dads feel unprepared for pregnancy and birth
• The mindset shift from spectator to active partner
• The value of having other dads in your corner
• Lessons learned from 22 episodes and conversations with incredible guests
• The biggest questions expecting dads ask us
• A behind the scenes look at the new Dudela Prep Kit
• What's next for the Dudela community and how we're planning to help more dads

If you've ever searched:

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This episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Dudela Prep Kit
• Free Dad Prep Guide
• The Spit Up Society Dad Community

Homework:

• If you're expecting, ask yourself this question: "What kind of dad do I want my child to remember?"
• Write down three words. Keep them somewhere visible. Start becoming that dad today.
• If you know a guy who's expecting a baby, send him this episode.

And if Dudela has helped you in any way, share the podcast with another dad. That's how this community grows.

Ready to feel more prepared for fatherhood?

Grab the free Dad Prep Guide and check out the Dudela Prep Kit at thedudelaco.com.

You do not get to pick the family you are born into. But you do get to build the family you lead.

In part one of our Family Matters series, John and Michael talk about the me to we shift that happens when you go from single guy to husband to dad. Your priorities change fast. Time gets tighter. Opinions multiply. And if you do not define your family values, routines, and traditions, something else will.

This episode is a practical starter kit for designing your family on purpose. We talk dinner table culture, small traditions that your kids will remember forever, and the conversations you need to have with your spouse before outside expectations start steering your home. We also unpack how different family backgrounds collide once you get married, especially around holidays and extended family. One spouse may be used to big loud gatherings, the other may be used to quiet holidays with just a few people. Neither is wrong, but you have to talk about it before it becomes tension.

You will hear simple ideas you can start this week like highs and lows at the table, pancakes and Disney mornings, Sunday snuggles, and an outdoor goal that gets everyone moving. We also give you one of the best questions a dad can ask when he feels unsure. What do you want your kids to say about your home when they are grown. Because you are writing that story right now.

Here is what we cover

• The me to we shift and why your priorities change immediately
• How to decide what kind of family you want to be, not just what kind of dad
• Dinner table culture and why consistency beats perfection
• Simple routines that kids thrive on, even as toddlers
• Easy conversation starters for kids, highs and lows, giggle and wiggle, and more
• How to talk with your wife about values before you announce them to the world
• Big family holidays versus quiet holidays and finding middle ground
• Traditions you loved growing up and traditions you are ready to leave behind
• The outside goal, one thousand hours outdoors and why it shapes your week
• The question that changes everything, what do you want your kids to say about you
• Values you can design around church, activity, nutrition, and technology boundaries
• A simple way to audit your family culture, look at your bank statement and calendar

If you have ever searched
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This episode is for you.

Homework
Ask each other this question and write it down
What do we want our kids to say about our home in twenty years

Callouts
• Send us one family value you are building right now and we will share favorites in a future episode
• Join the Spit Up Society for weekly prompts, dad hacks, and community

family culture, family values, family traditions, new dad, fatherhood, marriage communication, dinner table routine, toddler routine, holiday boundaries, in laws, screen time boundaries, outdoor family time, intentional parenting

Solo episode from John. Just two minutes. We built the thing we wish we'd had in the third trimester and I want to tell you about it. If your partner is anywhere between week 28 and 40 and you've been feeling like you're missing something you can't quite name, this one's for you.

Get the Dudela Prep Kit here

Or if that link does't work, type this url into your browser:

https://dudelaco.gumroad.com/l/dudela-prep-kit

Parents, in laws, and grandparents can be one of the biggest blessings in early parenthood. They can also be the biggest source of stress if expectations are unclear.

What does it actually look like to design your family on purpose and not just react to life?

In part three of our Family Matters series, John and Michael sit down with Josh Mackey, husband, dad of two daughters, and pastor in Denver, to talk about the rhythms, values, and mission that shape a family from the inside out. Josh brings both his own story as a dad and years of walking alongside other families through the hard stuff, and he does not hold back.

The conversation starts with the identity shift that hits you the moment you become a dad. Not just your schedule and your money, but who you are. How your kids are becoming like you whether you like it or not. And how that reality is either terrifying or one of the most motivating things you can hear.

Josh introduces one of the most practical tools we have heard yet. An acronym built on your family name where each letter stands for a value you actually want to live. Corny? Maybe. Powerful? Absolutely. His daughter already walks past the sign in their kitchen every day.

We also dig into Sabbath, not as a religious rule but as a rhythm of real renewal. The difference between vegging and actually being restored. How to protect a day for the things that fill you up, good food, good people, and yes, ice cream. And how that rhythm looks different in every season of life so you do not need to have it figured out before you start.

Then Josh brings the book Family on Mission into the conversation. There is a difference between having a family and a mission that compete with each other, making your family your mission and isolating them from the world, and doing family on mission where your kids are invited into your purpose and your work. They see what you actually do. They learn by watching you, not just by being told.

And we talk about failure. Because you are going to mess it up. The question is whether you model what it looks like to say you are sorry, to disagree without destroying each other, and to let your kids see that brokenness followed by forgiveness is not weakness. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

Here is what we cover

• Why becoming a dad is a more radical identity shift than even marriage
• How your kids are learning from you by osmosis whether you are teaching them or not
• The family name acronym tool Josh and Carissa built and how to make your own version
• Sabbath as a rhythm of renewal versus vegging, and why it matters for your whole family
• Why the goal is not hitting parenting benchmarks but building a vision for who you want to be
• Family and mission competing versus family on mission together
• Inviting your kids into your work and purpose and why we lost that after the industrial revolution
• Why little consistent moments matter more than big surprise experiences
• Modeling disagreement and repair so your kids learn what healthy conflict actually looks like
• Why being the dad who says I am sorry is one of the most countercultural and powerful things you can do
• A word for dads afraid of screwing up, you will, and that is okay

If you have ever searched how to build a family culture as a dad family values and mission christian family rhythms how to stop reacting and start leading your family how to set a vision for your family how to teach kids about conflict and forgiveness family on mission fatherhood identity shift new dad advice pastor advice for new dads family acronym values tool how to build family traditions with toddlers sabbath for families what does sabbath look like practically parenting and purpose how to invite kids into your work how to say sorry to your kids how to model healthy marriage for your children

This episode is for you.

Homework

• Sit down with your spouse and ask: What does it mean to be the [your last name] family? Write down three values and see if you can make them stick to a word or phrase you will actually remember.
• Try one intentional Sabbath this month. It does not have to be perfect. Just protect one day and fill it with the things that actually restore you.

Callouts

• Send us your family acronym or value statement and we will share favorites in a future episode
• Join the Spit Up Society for weekly prompts, dad hacks, and community

Tags: fatherhood, family values, family mission, family rhythms, sabbath for families, dad identity, christian fatherhood, family culture, how to lead your family, modeling forgiveness, healthy conflict in marriage, family on mission, new dad advice, parenting vision, family traditions, dad podcast, dudela

What happens when you grow up without a steady dad in the house, and you decide you are going to change the story for your kids:

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael sit down with Howie Hutchinson, a husband and dad of two in Denver, to talk about fatherhood after divorce, step parents, and rebuilding a relationship with your dad as an adult. Howie shares what it was like growing up mostly in a single parent home after his parents split, what he had to figure out on his own as a boy, and the pressure he carried for years to become the best dad possible.

This conversation is honest, hopeful, and full of practical wisdom. You will hear a powerful turning point moment when Howie told his dad that if their relationship stayed the same, he did not want to invest in a relationship between his dad and his future kids. What happened next surprised him, and it changed the direction of their relationship for the last fourteen years.

We talk about why presence matters most in the early years, why supporting your wife and building a healthy family unit is a gift to your kids, and how to avoid building your whole parenting identity in reaction to what you did not have. Howie also shares what his therapist wife taught him about grace, perspective, and the idea that maybe you got your dad’s best. It is a challenging thought, and it is freeing.

You will also hear practical ideas you can use right away, including a journal that goes back and forth between parent and child, plus a long term question every dad should ask. What do you want friendship with your kids to look like when they are adults, and what can you do today to build toward that

Here is what we cover
• Growing up with a dad on the fringes and what you learn from peers instead
• Divorce at nine and how it shapes a kid’s story about their father
• Stepdad dynamics and what he wishes he had asked for sooner
• The pressure to be the best dad and how to cool it on the pressure
• A hard conversation with his dad one month before his first child was born
• Rebuilding a relationship with your dad and being grateful for what you have now
• Presence as a dad and why just being there matters more than you think
• Supporting your wife and building a healthy family unit kids can trust
• Parenting a son versus parenting a daughter and why dads shape confidence
• Sliding door moments and choosing to step into connection
• A back and forth journal habit that builds real relationship
• How to have a million small conversations instead of one big talk

If you have ever searched
how to be a present dad
dad advice for kids of divorce
healing father wounds
rebuilding relationship with my dad
generational trauma and parenting
how to be a better husband and father
father daughter relationship and confidence
how to raise a son without a dad
stepdad relationship advice
parent child journal prompts
how to talk to kids about sex early
have small conversations not one big talk
fatherhood podcast for dads

This episode is for you.

fatherhood, present dad, generational healing, kids of divorce, rebuilding relationship with dad, marriage and parenting, father daughter relationship, raising sons, stepdad, family unit, dad pressure, parenting habits, parent child journal, small conversations, new dad podcast

Parents, in laws, and grandparents can be one of the biggest blessings in early parenthood. They can also be the biggest source of stress if expectations are unclear.

In part two of our Family Matters series, John and Michael talk about how to navigate family involvement during pregnancy, the hospital, and those first few weeks at home. We start with the good stuff. Date nights and babysitters you trust. The joy of multi generational moments. Watching grandparents light up with your baby. It is a short window in life and it is genuinely beautiful.

Then we get practical. You and your wife need a plan before the baby arrives. What do we want the first hours to look like. What do we want the hospital time to feel like. Do we want visitors right away or do we want space. When do we want family to come to the house. What kind of help do we actually want. Because if you do not set expectations, feelings get hurt fast even when everyone means well.

We also talk meal trains, how to make them actually helpful, and how to communicate that dropping food off is not always a visit. We share the small things that felt huge, notes and prayers, meals packaged to reheat, DoorDash credits, even groceries and premade oven meals. We also share one simple hack for out of town family visits. Come after you are home and settled, then use the help for real rest if they are willing.

Then we go there. As dads, you and your wife hold the keys to the grandparent role. That is uncomfortable to say, but it is true. Titles do not automatically equal access. Your kids are sponges, and if a relationship is unhealthy or values are being undermined, you have a responsibility to protect your family unit. We talk about how to think through that without being dramatic, how to communicate your strategy to family, and how to invite the village into the same playbook you are using, sleep, teething, routines, and safety standards that have changed since our parents raised kids.

Here is what we cover
• Why this season is a rare multi generational window and why it matters
• Date nights, babysitters, and the reality of leaving your toddler with someone new
• Hospital expectations and why hour one can get tense fast
• How to decide who visits, when, and what you want the first hours to feel like
• Out of town family strategy, come after you are home and settled
• The meal train rules that make it truly helpful, drop and go, not a dinner party
• Meal ideas that actually serve new parents, reheatable portions, notes, DoorDash, groceries
• Updating grandparents on modern safety, sleep sacks, no loose blankets, no stuffed animals in crib
• Sharing your family playbook so grandparents can follow your routines without guessing
• The truth, you hold the keys to the grandparent role and you can set limits when needed
• Kids are sponges, why boundaries matter more than you think

If you have ever searched
hospital visitors after baby
when can grandparents visit newborn
boundaries with in laws after baby
how to tell family no visitors
meal train ideas for new parents
DoorDash meal train option
how to communicate expectations with grandparents
safe sleep rules for grandparents
sleep sack no blanket crib
how to set family boundaries as new parents
grandparents undermining parents
protecting family values as parents
family boundaries after having a baby

This episode is for you.

Callouts
• Before baby comes, have this conversation with your spouse, what do we want the first hours, first week, and first month to look like
• If you have a great meal train idea, send it to us and we will share favorites in a future episode
• Join the Spit Up Society for weekly prompts, dad hacks, and community

Tags: in laws, grandparents, newborn boundaries, hospital visitors, meal train, postpartum support, new parents, family values, safe sleep, marriage communication, fatherhood podcast, new dad tips

Mom and baby are healthy. But am I? A dad to be emailed us this question and it is one of the most common things no one talks about in the early months. Everyone asks how mom is doing and how baby is doing. Almost no one asks how dad is holding up. John and Michael unpack the mental side of new fatherhood, the tension of wanting to feel healthy again, and the question every new dad wrestles with. Is it selfish to prioritize myself right now.

This episode is practical and encouraging. We talk about how fatherhood rewrites your routine, why the goal is not getting your old life back, and how to build a new version that fits the season you are in. You will hear how tiny pockets of time can actually be enough, why the engine light feeling is a signal to reassess before burnout hits, and how communicating what you need to your partner is the opposite of selfish. It is leadership.

We also cover life giving habits for dads, what to do if your old hobbies no longer fit, and how to start with one anchor instead of trying to rebuild everything at once. From workouts that fit into real life, to new hobbies, to sleep strategies that buy your sanity back, this is a field guide for dads who want to show up steady for their family without running themselves into the ground.

In this episode
• Why nobody asks how dad is doing and why that matters
• The engine light moment and how to reassess before burnout
• How fatherhood rewrites your routine and why you need a new one
• The difference between being efficient and being restored
• Small windows of time and how to use them well
• Communicating needs with your partner and not dumping the load
• Asking your wife what she needs too and why it builds trust
• When old hobbies do not fit right now and how to adapt without quitting forever
• Picking one anchor habit that gives you life and making it consistent
• Building community so you are not doing this alone
• Quick mentions of sleep help and the value of routines for kids and parents
• Steady Dad cohort and why support matters when you feel stretched thin

If you have ever searched
dad burnout
new dad mental health
is it selfish to take time for myself as a dad
how to support my postpartum wife and still be okay
how to build a routine with a newborn
workout routine for new dads
how to be a present dad without losing yourself
how to communicate needs in marriage after baby
how to find community as a new dad
how to recharge as a father

This episode is for you.

Callouts
• If you are feeling stretched thin, tell us what you are missing most from your old routine and we will share ideas and encouragement
• Apply for the Steady Dad cohort on our site if you want a small group and a clear plan

new dad, fatherhood, dad mental health, dad burnout, routines for parents, marriage after baby, communication, newborn life, working parents, self care for dads, workout for dads, community for dads, Steady Dad

Some dads live for the work trip. Some dads hate it. Most of us feel both at the exact same time. In this episode, John and Michael talk about the weird mix of freedom and guilt that hits the moment you close the hotel door. No bedtime. No monitor. No toys on the floor. And then out of nowhere you miss your kids more than you expected.

John shares his first extended trip away from the girls and what actually helped. Prepping food before leaving, setting clear expectations with Viv, and making daily FaceTime a nonnegotiable even if it is only five minutes. They get real about the moments that trigger resentment on both sides. The conference dinner photos while your spouse has poop on them. The missed souvenir. The sleep that is somehow worse even without a baby monitor because your dad brain is still listening for cries.

This episode is a practical guide for any dad who travels for work or needs a night away. How to communicate expectations before you go, how to show up from a distance, how to use tech like FaceTime and Marco Polo to stay present, and how to plan support so your partner is not carrying the whole load alone. If you have ever felt guilty for enjoying quiet time or frustrated that you cannot be in two places at once, you are not alone.

Here is what we cover

• Why the first hotel room exhale feels amazing and then immediately painful
• The baby monitor problem and when you actually stop using it
• How fast the missing them feeling hits and why FaceTime makes it harder and sweeter
• Setting expectations before you leave and why daily check ins matter even if they are short
• Practical prep that helps your spouse meals, snacks, breakfasts, and a simple support plan
• The community factor and why doing it alone is brutal and deserves respect
• What to do when you miss an expectation and your partner is frustrated
• How to respond without snapping and why seen, valued, and heard is the whole point
• Ways to help from afar DoorDash, surprises, and being proactive during nap windows
• Rapid fire alone time truths toilet time, sleep patterns, and the best part of being away

If you have ever searched

dad traveling for work
how to help my wife when I travel
work trip guilt as a dad
how often to FaceTime kids when away
how to set expectations in marriage
how to support a partner during bedtime solo
how to leave work at work as a dad
single parent life respect and support
Marco Polo app for family updates
how to stop resenting my spouse

This episode is for you.

Callouts

• If you travel a lot for work, message us. We want your best tips and we may feature them in a future episode
• If you have done deployments or long stretches away, we would love to learn from you on a future pod
• Join the Spit Up Society for weekly prompts, dad hacks, and community support

It is the everyday reality for so many families. Two careers. One home full of little people and big needs. John and Michael share what the juggle really looks like in their house and the simple systems that keep the wheels on. From daycare drop offs and dinner triage to shared calendars, phone limits, and a weekly reset for marriage, this is honest help for working parents who want to show up at work and at home without burning out. Expect real stories, honest laughs, and practical ideas you can use tonight.

We talk packing the diaper bag the night before, the twenty minute tidy that actually gets done, and how to divide tasks without keeping score. We cover commute rituals that turn off work brain, quick weeknight meals, and the small routines that make mornings smoother. There is real talk about guilt, energy slumps, and how to step in when your partner can only give ten percent. Presence beats perfection. Small systems beat heroic sprints.

In this episode
• Daycare prep that saves time bag, labels, and an always ready checklist
• Morning and evening rhythms plus the twenty minute tidy
• How to communicate needs without keeping score
• Work boundaries that protect family time including simple phone rules
• Meal planning for real life leftovers, sheet pan dinners, and one cook day
• Shared calendars that reduce mental load and missed handoffs
• Reading your partner’s day and stepping in with care not criticism
• Cleaning as you go dishes, floors, and the playroom cycle
• A weekly at home date night that does not need a sitter
• Mindset for busy seasons permission to pause and reset

If you have ever searched
working parents routine
daycare checklist for dads
how to balance work and family as a dad
shared family calendar ideas
quick weeknight dinners for parents
phone boundaries for home time
how to stop keeping score in marriage
leaving work at work
how to feel less guilty as a working parent

This episode is for you.

Callouts
• Try a Sunday Power Hour this week to start the week calm
• Block a weekly at home date night and protect it like a meeting
• Join the Spit Up Society for prompts, dad hacks, and community

working parents, daycare prep, morning routine, evening routine, twenty minute tidy, shared calendar, phone boundaries, weeknight dinners, marriage communication, mental load, work life balance dads, fatherhood podcast, new dad tips, presence over perfection, community for dads

It is our final pod of the year and we are looking back at a wild first year of fatherhood. John and Michael share favorite moments, travel wins and fails, and three big lessons that changed how we show up at home. Presence beats performance. Grace is not optional. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Expect real stories, honest laughs, and practical ideas you can use tonight.

We talk baby milestones and the walking phase, Costco runs with double carts, bottle stations that take over the kitchen, and a few stats from our Dad Wrapped that will make you smile and maybe gag. We also preview what is coming in 2026 including Dad Prep Week, the Dad Reset, and coaching options for dads who want community and accountability. If you are a new dad or a dad to be, this episode will help you feel seen and ready for the next season.

In this episode
• Presence over performance and why moments beat metrics
• Grace for yourself and your partner when expectations miss
• Filling your cup without disappearing from the family
• First laughs, first steps, and why this stage is magic
• Travel tips with babies including help at security and customs
• Bottle washing sanity, laundry loads, and diaper realities
• Community for dads and how to find mentors and peers
• What is coming in 2026 free guides, group coaching, and more

If you have ever searched
how to be a present dad
how to give my spouse grace
new dad tips for the first year
baby travel checklist and airport rules
how to balance work and family as a dad
fatherhood podcast for first time dads
community for dads and mentors

This episode is for you.

Callouts:
• Grab Dad Prep Week on our site for a simple seven day reset
• Try the Dad Reset three day series if you feel stuck or short fused
• Join the Spit Up Society for weekly prompts, dad hacks, and community

new dad, first year of fatherhood, dad wrapped, presence over performance, grace in marriage, dad mental health, baby travel tips, bottle washing, diapers, walking milestone, community for dads, fatherhood podcast, new dad tips, work life balance dads, dad prep week, dad reset