The Erotic Realm

What if exploring BDSM as a queer, nonbinary person could transform your understanding of power, desire and erotic identity?

In this episode I'm joined by Dare Campbell, a queer, nonbinary sexuality educator and sub-leaning switch, to explore the psychology of BDSM power exchange, dominance and submission, queer identity and erotic self-discovery.

We explore:

• The psychology of submission: Why surrendering power can be an expression of agency, trust and desire.
• Ongoing BDSM power exchange: How dominance and submission operate beyond individual scenes and within established relationships.
• Consent and accountability: Navigating changing boundaries, communication and responsibility within power dynamics.
• Queer and nonbinary erotic identity: How gender exploration can transform our understanding of sexuality and kink.
• The relationship between BDSM and sex: Why kink can represent intimacy, identity, connection or spirituality beyond conventional sexual experiences.
• Erotic self-discovery: Giving ourselves permission to explore desires without needing fixed definitions of who we are.

Research article: A Queer Boundary: How Sex and BDSM Interact for People Who Identify as Kinky.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Hedon House - A BDSM and kink dungeon/playspace, accommodation, bath house, private dance floor, resting place, and so much more. Book your stay at http://hedonhouse.com/ with code THEREALM for 15% off.

• Follow Hedon House on Instagram.
• Check out my full conversation with the creator of Hedon House- Gala Vanting on Episode 30: Building Sanctuaries for BDSM & Erotic Exploration.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

• Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when discovering a kink doesn't just transform your sexuality, but unlocks creativity, vulnerability and parts of yourself you never knew existed?

In this episode I'm joined by Devilishbrew, a Pleasure Dom, Wax Top and creator of Devils Wax, to explore the psychology of wax play, BDSM, erotic creativity and male vulnerability.

We explore:

• The psychology of wax play: What makes temperature, anticipation and sensation so erotically compelling.
• Pleasure Domination and BDSM: How dominance, trust and sensory exploration intersect.
• Kink as a creative outlet: How wax play evolved into artistic expression through Devils Wax.
• Mindfulness and erotic presence: Why intense sensory experiences can quieten the mind and deepen connection.
• Male vulnerability and masculinity: How exploring kink can challenge expectations around emotional openness.
• Erotic identity and self-discovery: The relationship between childhood experiences, imposter syndrome, creativity and personal growth.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when the sexuality you've been taught to suppress becomes the very thing you need to explore to understand yourself?

In this episode I'm joined by Tash Doherty, author, erotic writer and creator of The Intimacy Journal, to explore the psychology of sexual shame, erotic self-discovery and the transformative power of writing about desire.

We explore:

• The psychology of sexual shame: where it comes from and how it shapes our erotic identities.
• Sexual suppression and self-discovery: distinguishing authentic desire from social expectations.
• Erotic writing as self-exploration: how personal storytelling can reveal hidden aspects of our sexuality.
• Erotic poetry and intimacy: the relationship between creativity, emotional expression and desire.
• Sexual communication and satisfaction: what research reveals about expressing our needs and desires.
• Reclaiming sexual confidence: moving from private self-understanding towards expressing what we want with others.

Research article: Dimensions of Couples’ Sexual Communication, Relationship Satisfaction, and Sexual Satisfaction: A Meta-Analysis

This episode is proudly sponsored by Hedon House - A BDSM and kink dungeon/playspace, accommodation, bath house, private dance floor, resting place, and so much more. Book your stay at http://hedonhouse.com/ with code THEREALM for 15% off.

• Follow Hedon House on Instagram.
• Check out my full conversation with the creator of Hedon House- Gala Vanting on Episode 30: Building Sanctuaries for BDSM & Erotic Exploration.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can sexual energy be used in magick? And could BDSM, ritual and altered states of consciousness be connected in ways we don't yet fully understand?

In this episode I'm joined by Sanhre to explore the fascinating intersection of sex magick, BDSM, occultism, chaos magick and erotic spirituality.

We explore:

• What occultism, chaos magick and sex magick actually mean.
• The relationship between BDSM, erotic energy and spiritual practices.
• Aleister Crowley and the idea of sexuality as a sacred force.
• Subspace, topspace, deep rope states and altered consciousness.
• The neuroscience of BDSM and its possible parallels with ritual experiences.
• Sigil magick, intention, belief and the ethics of magical practice.

Research article: Consensual BDSM Facilitates Role-Specific Altered States of Consciousness.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when the very communities built around consent, freedom and sexual exploration develop their own forms of toxicity, manipulation and abuse?

In this episode I'm joined by Ayzad, a pioneering Italian BDSM educator, author and kink coach with more than thirty years of experience, to explore the dark side of BDSM, toxic kink culture, power dynamics and the psychology of consent.

We explore:

• The dark side of BDSM and toxic kink culture.
• How to distinguish consensual BDSM from psychological abuse.
• Power dynamics, manipulation and the limits of consent.
• Why good intentions don't always prevent harmful behaviour.
• What has changed as BDSM has become more mainstream.
• The psychology behind unhealthy kink relationships and community dysfunction.

Research article: Sexual Violence and Nonconsensual Experiences Among Alt-Sex Communities’ Members.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Hedon House - A BDSM and kink dungeon/playspace, accommodation, bath house, private dance floor, resting place, and so much more. Book your stay at http://hedonhouse.com/ with code THEREALM for 15% off.

• Follow Hedon House on Instagram.
• Check out my full conversation with the creator of Hedon House- Gala Vanting on Episode 30: Building Sanctuaries for BDSM & Erotic Exploration.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why does the human brain sometimes transform pain into sexual pleasure? And what can BDSM teach us about neuroscience, desire and consciousness?

In this episode I'm joined by Hermes Solenzol, a pain neuroscientist, writer and lifelong kinkster, to explore the fascinating relationship between BDSM, pain, pleasure, sadism and the kinky brain.

We explore:

• The neuroscience of BDSM and why pain can become erotic pleasure.
• How the brain processes pain, anticipation, arousal and desire.
• BDSM pain thresholds and how context can change pain perception.
• Subspace, altered states of consciousness and the neuroscience of kink.
• The psychology of consensual sadism and compassionate dominance.
• Becoming a BDSM switch and exploring both sides of power exchange.
• BDSM, spirituality, Buddhism and the subjective experience of pain.
• Free will, monogamy, polyamory and the psychology of human relationships.
• Sexuality and ageing: remaining erotic at 69 and beyond.
• Erotic fantasy, writing and discovering ourselves through imagination.

Further reading: Beyond Pain: A Study on the Variance of Pain Thresholds Within BDSM Interactions in Dominants and Submissives.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why does the human brain sometimes transform pain into sexual pleasure? And what can BDSM teach us about neuroscience, desire and consciousness?

In this episode I'm joined by Hermes Solenzol, a pain neuroscientist, writer and lifelong kinkster, to explore the fascinating relationship between BDSM, pain, pleasure, sadism and the kinky brain.

We explore:

• The neuroscience of BDSM and why pain can become erotic pleasure.
• How the brain processes pain, anticipation, arousal and desire.
• BDSM pain thresholds and how context can change pain perception.
• Subspace, altered states of consciousness and the neuroscience of kink.
• The psychology of consensual sadism and compassionate dominance.
• Becoming a BDSM switch and exploring both sides of power exchange.
• BDSM, spirituality, Buddhism and the subjective experience of pain.
• Free will, monogamy, polyamory and the psychology of human relationships.
• Sexuality and ageing: remaining erotic at 69 and beyond.
• Erotic fantasy, writing and discovering ourselves through imagination.

Further reading: Beyond Pain: A Study on the Variance of Pain Thresholds Within BDSM Interactions in Dominants and Submissives.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you rediscover sexual desire in your seventies, after decades without intimacy?

In this episode I chat with Andrea Feinberg, also known as Brookiana, who returns to explore sex after 70, dating in later life, sexual desire, ageing, and the extraordinary experience of erotic reawakening.

When Andrea first joined me in Episode 102, she shared her journey of returning to dating, intimacy and sexual exploration in her seventies. Now she's back with her newly published book, Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman, to explore what that journey taught her about desire, desirability, confidence and herself.

We explore:

• Sex after 70 and rediscovering sexual desire in later life.
• Why women are taught that their desirability has an expiry date.
• Returning to dating after decades without intimacy.
• The psychology of being desired and feeling desirable.
• Sexual confidence, sensuality and erotic identity as we age.
• Writing Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman and the vulnerability of sharing intimate experiences.

Research Article: "The Shop Is Not Closed": Sex and Sexuality Among Older Adult Daters

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when discovering your dominant side completely changes the way you understand your submissive one?

In this episode of I'm joined by Sassy—Bethany Burgoyne—to explore switch psychology, dominance, submission, kink confidence and the freedom to let our erotic identities change.

We explore:

• The psychology of being a BDSM switch.
• Moving from submissive to dominant without losing submission.
• How dominance transformed Sassy's kink confidence.
• Sadism, sensual dominance and using power as an expression of care.
• Body confidence, gender expression and being a non-binary woman in kink.
• Shame, permission and communicating kink to new or vanilla partners.
• Queer kink communities, safeguarding and what they reveal about human desire.
• Why BDSM can be joyful, playful and full of laughter.

Research article: BDSM Role Fluidity: A Mixed-Methods Approach to Investigating Switches Within Dominant/Submissive Binaries.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does a sexual-health doctor want you to know about sex?

In this episode I'm joined by Dr Leigh Barlow to explore the things your doctor really wants you to understand about sex, STIs, PrEP and sexual health.

We explore:

• Who should get STI tests, how often, and what testing involves.
• The biggest STI myths people still believe.
• What PrEP is and how HIV prevention is changing the psychology of safer sex.
• What LGBTQIA+ people still encounter in healthcare — and what genuinely affirming care looks like.
• Why bringing pleasure into sexual-health conversations may actually help us look after ourselves better.

Research article: What is the added value of incorporating pleasure in sexual health interventions? A systematic review and meta-analysis.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Does desire really die in long-term relationships — or are we misunderstanding what happens to it?

In this episode I'm joined by sex therapist and clinical social worker Caroline Hood to explore female desire, sex and intimacy in long-term relationships.

We explore:

• Why sexual desire can change in long-term relationships without disappearing.
• Whether “low desire” can actually be a logical response to stress, caregiving, resentment and exhaustion.
• The biggest myths we've inherited about female desire and spontaneous desire.
• What responsive desire gets right — and where we've become too rigid with the concept.
• How couples can cultivate eroticism, intimacy and desire when life never seems to calm down.

Research article: Maintaining Sexual Desire in Long-Term Relationships: A Systematic Review and Conceptual Model

This episode is proudly sponsored by Magic Motion. Grab 10% off their toys here using code EMMA10.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens to your identity as a slave when the Master you've belonged to for 21 years dies?

In this episode I'm joined by Kim — MJ's Girl, who shares the story of her 21-year Master/slave relationship with Master Joe, and what happened to love, submission and identity after his death.

We explore:

• What 21 years in a Master/slave relationship taught Kim about love and submission.
• The difference between being a slave and a submissive.
• Why this fiercely independent woman chose to give one particular man her submission.
• The psychology of collaring, ownership and erotic identity.
• What happens to a slave identity after the death of a Master.
• How continuing bonds may help us understand carrying a BDSM relationship forward through grief.

Research article: Internalized versus externalized continuing bonds: Relations to grief, trauma, attachment, openness to experience, and posttraumatic growth.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when the kink you're having is no longer the kink you actually want?

In this episode I'm joined by RednBlack to explore the psychology of ownership, Total Power Exchange, sadism and erotic identity.

After years within kink, Red experienced a moment that changed the direction of her erotic life: driving home from a fetish event and realising that pickup play was leaving her feeling empty. That realisation forced a different question — what did she actually desire?

We explore:

• The psychology of ownership and Total Power Exchange (TPE).
• Why kinky experiences can still leave us feeling erotically unfulfilled.
• Red's journey through dominance, sadism and deeper power exchange.
• Leather culture, identity and the history and meaning carried through coloured hankies.
• The tension between being an academic and openly kinky.
• Why different people can be drawn to BDSM for very different psychological reasons.

Research article: The Psychology of Kink: A Cross-Sectional Survey Study Investigating the Roles of Sensation Seeking and Coping Style in BDSM-Related Interests.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can a man learn to be Dominant — or is dominance something you either have or you don't?

In this episode I'm joined by Justin, founder of The Dominance Academy, to explore the psychology of male dominance, masculinity and consensual power exchange.

We explore:

• Whether male dominance can be learned.
• The difference between embodying dominance and performing it.
• Justin's four pillars of a Dominant man: self-containment, earned authority, erotic mastery and relational leadership.
• Why authority must be earned before someone can responsibly hold another person's submission.
• The difference between consensual dominance and men who simply want control over women.
• How BDSM and Dominant/submissive relationships can become pathways for personal transformation.

Research article: To Know Thyself: A Qualitative Exploration of Motivating Factors for BDSM and Kink Participants Who Hold Dominant Identities.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you love each other — but you don't want the same things sexually?

In this episode I'm joined by Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant, to explore the psychology of mismatched desire, sexual compatibility and kink in relationships.

We explore:

• What mismatched sexual desire looks like inside relationships.
• Why telling our partner what we really want can feel extraordinarily vulnerable.
• Whether an apparent “low desire” partner might simply not be having the kind of sex that activates their desire.
• What BDSM and kink can teach conventional couples about negotiating desire, boundaries and consent.
• The surprisingly complicated question: is sex actually a need?

Research article: Strategies for Mitigating Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Relationships

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's missing when the standard rules of kink assume everybody's brain works the same way?

In this episode Auntie Vice returns to explore the intersection of BDSM, neurodivergence and mental health — and her new book, Kinky & Complicated.

So much BDSM advice assumes that we can identify exactly what we want, clearly communicate our boundaries and recognise when something changes. But what happens when the way we process sensation, emotion, desire or communication works differently — or changes over time?

We explore:

• How neurodivergence can shape BDSM, kink and desire.
• Why BDSM's explicit rules and negotiations may work particularly well for some neurodivergent people.
• Consent and communication when someone's capacity or mental state changes.
• The impact of medication and menopause on neurodivergence, sexuality and kink.
• Why BDSM can be psychologically beneficial without being therapy.
• The complicated distinction between consensual BDSM pain and self-injury.

Research article: A Preliminary Investigation into Intersections of Sexual Communication in Bondage, Domination, Sadomasochism and Disability.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do your sexual fantasies reveal about you?

In this episode I'm joined by Cat Savard, founder of Good Ember, to explore the psychology and data behind our sexual fantasies.

Link to Survey data here: https://www.goodember.com/pages/surveys

We explore:

• What our sexual fantasies and kinks might reveal about us.
• What Cat's Good Ember data is revealing about people's fantasies.
• The psychology of consensual non-consent (CNC).
• Why people can fantasise about experiences they don't literally want to happen.
• Sexual communication and why sharing fantasies with a partner can feel so vulnerable.
• How couples can become more curious about each other erotically.

Research article: The Role of Sexual Communication in Couples' Sexual Outcomes: A Dyadic Path Analysis.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you stop hiding your kink and decide to fully own who you are?

In this episode Rain DeGrey takes us from coming out of the kink closet and finding herself at Kink.com just three weeks later, through her evolution into sexuality education and her belief that helping people overcome shame and "own their awesome" is what she was put here to do.

We explore:

• Coming out of the kink closet and owning your erotic identity.
• Why strap-ons became one of her specialist areas.
• Rain's experience of being in a cult — and why she left.
• What supporting people through their final moments of life taught her about living.
• Sexual shame and where we learn to judge our desires.
• What two decades of exploring kink have taught Rain about pleasure and authenticity.
• Why accepting our erotic selves can become part of living a more meaningful life.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when there is a disconnect between what your mind and your body wants?

In this episode I explore with Judith Swack, creator of Healing from the Body Level Up (HBLU), about sexual shame, trauma, desire and what she describes as experiencing sex from the body's point of view.

We explore:

• Sexual shame and its impact on desire.
• The conflict between consciously wanting something and not feeling safe enough to want it.
• What Judith describes as a phobia of sexual desire.
• How religious and cultural messages can become attached to sexuality.
• A live tapping demonstration during the episode.
• How Judith works with unconscious patterns around sex.
• The relationship between the mind, body and erotic desire.

Research article: Sexual Satisfaction, Sexual Attitudes, and Shame in Relation to Religiosity.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why can giving someone your money become an act of erotic surrender?

In this episode I'm joined by Harley to explore the psychology of financial domination — better known as findom — and the complex relationship between money, power, submission and desire.

We explore:

• The psychology of financial domination and findom.
• Why financial domination can feel "primal".
• Service submission and the psychology of giving.
• The difference between lifestyle findom and commercial erotic labour.
• Why financial domination isn't necessarily reducible to sexual arousal.
• Negotiating boundaries within financial power exchange.
• The difference between financial domination and financial exploitation.

Research article: Findommes, Cybermediated Sex Work, and Rinsing.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.