The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

Why People Settle for One-Sided Relationships - Jayson Gaddis - 570

Episode 570

Show notes

Why do people stay in one sided relationships? Jayson explores how childhood experiences can shape the relationships we choose and why some people end up in codependent dynamics. He looks at how the helper can enable these patterns and why examining your own sense of self worth is an important part of changing them.

Timestamps:

• 0:43 - One sided relationships
• 2:38 - The childhood origins of one sided relationships
• 6:04 - Can codependent relationships work?
• 8:06 - How the helper enables codependent relationships
• 11:28 - Examine your sense of self-worth

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Oct 13, 2026 14 min

Men Who Do Therapy but Their Situation Doesn’t Change - Jayson Gaddis - 569

Episode 569

Show notes

Why do some men do therapy and still end up back in the same place? Jayson looks at the difference between the men who get results from therapy and the men who don’t. He explores what makes therapy actually lead to change and how pain can become a catalyst for doing something different.

Timestamps:

• 1:35 - the guys who do get results
• 5:39 - the guys who don't get results
• 10:00 - pain as a catalyst for change

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Oct 6, 2026 15 min

Expectations - Jayson Gaddis - 568

Episode 568

Show notes

How can expectations help or hurt your relationships? Jayson breaks down why unspoken expectations create resentment and why communicating your needs directly is essential. He explores the difference between appropriate and inappropriate expectations, how we project our values onto other people, and touches on workplace and parent/child dynamics. If you want fewer assumptions and more clarity in your relationships, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 1:40 - Communicate your needs directly
• 3:30 - Projecting your values onto others
• 6:50 - Appropriate relationship expectations
• 10:00 - Inappropriate relationship expectations
• 12:34 - Parent/child dynamics
• 14:30 - Transparency is key

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Sep 22, 2026 16 min

Why You Don’t Speak Up - Jayson Gaddis - 567

Episode 567

Show notes

Why is it so hard to speak up? Jayson explores the fears that keep people silent and how those fears often begin in childhood. He breaks down how to speak up without making things worse, who deserves your attention, and offers practical templates you can use to have difficult conversations. If you've been holding back what you really want to say, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:14 - fears that stop people from speaking up
• 1:37 - childhood roots of fear around speaking up
• 3:46 - how to speak up and do it well
• 5:14 - who should you give your attention to?
• 7:53 - templates for speakling up

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Sep 15, 2026 11 min

Why High Performing Men Fail at Marriage - Jayson Gaddis - 566

Episode 566

Show notes

Why do so many high performing men struggle in marriage? Jayson explains why the same mindset that creates success at work often creates problems at home. He explores why trying to fix things can backfire, why slowing down is a relationship skill, how avoiding conflict keeps couples stuck, and three simple shifts that can make a real difference. If you're successful everywhere except your relationship, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 1:09 - Stop trying to fix it
• 3:00 - Slow down
• 4:50 - Don't be afraid of conflict
• 7:50 - 3 things you can do that make a difference

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Sep 1, 2026 10 min

You Can’t Solve Relationship Problems on Your Own, Here’s Why - Jayson Gaddis - 565

Episode 565

Show notes

Why can't you solve relationship problems on your own? Jayson explains why so many men try to figure out their relationships by themselves and why that approach usually fails. He explores why relationship skills have to be learned with other people, how healing happens in connection instead of isolation, and why the best place to work through relationship challenges is inside healthy relationships. If you are trying to fix your relationship alone, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:30 - why you can't solve relationship problems on your own
• 3:30 - why men try and solve relationship problems alone
• 6:00 - you have to learn relationship skills with others
• 9:30 - the best place to heal relationship traumas and challenges

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Aug 11, 2026 14 min

Why Us Men Get So Defensive & What to Do About It - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 564

Episode 564

Show notes

Why do so many men get defensive? Jayson and Ellen explore where defensiveness comes from, the impact it has on relationships, and why it gets in the way of real connection. They share practical ways to interrupt defensive patterns, how to stay with your partner's feelings instead of protecting yourself, and what it looks like to take responsibility when you get it wrong. Jayson also shares what led him to dedicate his work to helping men and boys grow. If you want to become less defensive and more available in your relationships, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 4:30 - examples of defensiveness
• 9:30 - the relational cost of getting defensive
• 19:30 - how to address defensive patterns
• 28:00 - how to attend to your partner's feelings instead of being defensive
• 36:18 - what got Jayson interested in working with men and boys
• 49:36 - how to take responsibility for defensiveness
• 1:02:00 - increasing your capacity for growth

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Jul 29, 2026 1 hr 7 min

Why Life Keeps Kicking Your Ass (And What It's Trying to Teach You) - 563

Episode 563

Show notes

Why does life keep kicking your ass? Jayson explains why the hardest parts of life are often the biggest opportunities for growth. He explores the difference between horizontal and vertical development, why your relationships expose where you need to grow, and why working on what causes you the most pain leads to the biggest breakthroughs. He also shares why marriage takes effort and why committed relationships require a willingness to keep developing. If you want to stop repeating the same patterns and start growing through them, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 1:16 - levelling up in life
• 2:54 - the problem with not leveling up your relationship skills
• 5:07 - horizontal development vs vertical development
• 6:19 - work on what causes you the most pain
• 8:27 - relationships are hard because they're collaborative
• 10:02 - marriages take effort
• 13:04 - if you don't want to do developmental work don't get married

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Jul 21, 2026 16 min

Why It’s a Bad Idea to Say "Be a Man" to a Guy - 562

Episode 562

Show notes

Why is telling a man to "be a man" such a bad idea? Jayson breaks down what messages men actually hear when they're told to "man up" and how those messages create shame instead of growth. He explores why men constantly compare themselves to other men, what people are really asking for in moments of conflict, and why making relationship problems about gender usually misses the point. If you want to communicate with men in a way that actually works, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:49 - what saying "be a man" does to your guy
• 3:00 - how men compare themselves with other men
• 5:48 - what does "man up" really mean in this moment?
• 8:06 - just stop making relationship conflicts about gender

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Jun 30, 2026 10 min

Suffering - 561

Episode 561

Show notes

What do you do with suffering? Jayson touches on the four noble truths and what they point to in everyday life. He explores why suffering is part of being human, what happens when you stop avoiding it, and how to be with your experience instead of trying to escape it. He also shares how making meaning from your suffering can change how you relate to your life. If you are dealing with pain and want a different way to approach it, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:13 - Four noble truths
• 1:01 - Life is suffering
• 1:52 - Be with your suffering
• 6:25 - Making meaning from suffering

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Jun 2, 2026 8 min

Good Couples Work Does This - Jayson Gaddis - 560

Episode 560

Show notes

How do you know if couples work is actually working? Jayson breaks down what good couples therapy should feel like and the signs you are making real progress. He explains why you need to advocate for yourself as a client, the two directions effective work should move in, and why you should be getting somewhere over time. If you are in therapy and wondering if it is helping, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:29 - How do you know that couples therapy is working?
• 2:51 - Advocate for yourself as a therapy client
• 5:08 - The two directions couples work should go
• 6:24 - You should be getting somewhere in therapy

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

May 12, 2026 9 min

Deep Listeners vs Shallow Listeners - Jayson Gaddis - 559

Episode 559

Show notes

What separates a deep listener from a shallow one? Jayson breaks down why most people are not actually listening and how the lack of real curiosity shows up in conversations. He explains why follow up questions matter, what it means to ask real questions, and how losing curiosity in your relationship creates distance. He also challenges you to go deeper with the people in your life if you want real connection. If you want to become someone people feel truly heard by, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:09 The difference between good listeners and bad listeners
• 1:27 People don't know how to ask followup questions
• 5:12 Asking real questions
• 8:07 Don't lose your curiosity in marriage
• 11:00 Challenge yourself to go deeper with people

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

May 5, 2026 13 min

Changing Your Wife to Get What You Want - Jayson Gaddis - 558

Episode 558

Show notes

Why does trying to change your partner backfire? Jayson breaks down what happens when you try to get your wife to change when she does not want to, and how unmet expectations turn into resentment. He explains the arrogance behind trying to shape your partner, why behavior change requests often miss the point, and what it actually means to love someone as they are. If you keep pushing for change and not getting it, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 2:53 - Trying to change a partner who doesn’t want to change
• 5:44 - Resentment from unmet expectations
• 8:49 - the arrogance of trying to change your partner
• 10:09 - Stop making behaviour change requests
• 11:44 - Trying to change someone is not loving them

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Apr 7, 2026 14 min

Feelings Are Key to Great Partnerships - Jayson Gaddis - 557

Episode 557

Show notes

Why are feelings so essential for a strong partnership? Jayson explains how emotions are at the center of secure relationships and where therapy can fall short. He explores how to handle your child’s emotions, the feelings men are often taught to suppress, and what it takes to express yourself in a healthy way. If you want deeper connection in your relationships, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:35 - emotions are essential for secure relationships
• 2:17 - the limitations of therapy
• 5:45 - fielding your kid’s emotions
• 6:55 - feelings men aren’t allowed to feel
• 9:26 - learning to express your feelings appropriately

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Mar 31, 2026 12 min

How to De-Escalate Someone Immediately - Jayson Gaddis - 556

Episode 556

Show notes

How do you de escalate someone in the moment without making things worse? Jayson breaks down how to calm someone down quickly by staying regulated, entering their world, and validating what is real for them. He explains why trying to fix or win backfires, what it means to take ownership when needed, and why none of this works if you are not being genuine. If you find yourself dealing with big emotions in others and want a better way to respond, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:50 - how to de-escalate quickly
• 2:39 - don’t get disregulated
• 3:41 - enter their world
• 4:58 - validate and own
• 8:19 - you have to be genuine

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Mar 24, 2026 12 min

I Don’t Want to Feel - Jayson Gaddis - 555

Episode 555

Show notes

Why do so many of us avoid our feelings until they force their way out? Jayson shares his own experience with not wanting to feel and the cost of suppressing emotions. He explores the temptation to medicate symptoms without addressing the root cause, why people hold it together in public only to explode at home, and how the people closest to us can help reveal our deepest triggers. If you are tired of stuffing your emotions or afraid of what might happen if you let them surface, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:30 - Jayson’s experience with avoiding emotions
• 6:40 - Medicating without addressing the root cause
• 8:04 - Why people wait to explode at home
• 12:58 - Other people can help us identify our triggers

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Mar 10, 2026 15 min

My Role as Husband and Father - Jayson Gaddis - 554

Episode 554

Show notes

Jayson reflects on his role as a husband and father and the responsibility he once resisted. Why do some men pull back from commitment or shy away from the weight of leadership at home? He explores how primary relationships can become a spiritual path, what it means to surrender to fatherhood, and why time with your children reveals who you really are. This episode is an honest look at growth through partnership, parenting, and showing up when it would be easier not to.

Timestamps:

• 0:13 - Why Jayson didn’t want responsibility
• 3:22 - Primary relationships as a spiritual path
• 6:48 - Surrendering to fatherhood
• 9:42 - When dads shy away from time with kids

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Mar 3, 2026 14 min

The State of the World - Jayson Gaddis - 553

Episode 553

Show notes

What kind of world are we creating right now?

Jayson talks about the men in power and what they are modeling for our sons. He asks what happens when a culture loses its moral center. He makes the case that you cannot act like a jerk out there and expect peace at home. If you want change, start in your house. Start with how you show up.

Timestamps:

• 0:30 - What men in power are modeling for our sons
• 1:56 - Losing our national moral compass
• 7:00 - You can’t have a good home life while acting like an asshole
• 9:29 - Real change starts in the home

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Feb 24, 2026 12 min

The Courage to Be Oneself - Jayson Gaddis - 552

Episode 552

Show notes

Jayson explores what it really takes to be yourself in relationship and in life. Why does hiding who you are come at such a high cost? What kind of courage does it take to live authentically, and why do intimate relationships often force an awakening to your true self?

Timestamps:

• 0:35 - The courage to be oneself
• 3:00 - You can’t be fulfilled when you hide who you really are
• 8:13 - Awakening to who you really are through your intimate relationships
• 13:43 - Jayson’s newsletter

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Jan 28, 2026 16 min

Does the Masculine-Feminine Frame Work? - Jayson Gaddis - 551

Episode 551

Show notes

Jayson examines why the masculine feminine framework often creates more problems than it solves. How can this framing be harmful for men? Why does trying to change your partner keep people stuck? What role does attachment play in relationship dynamics, and what is a better way to understand gender issues altogether? Jayson also reflects on his own experience with this framework and offers a more grounded perspective.

Timestamps:

• 2:12 - How the masculine-feminine frame can be bad for men
• 3:57 - The trap of trying to change your partner
• 6:09 - The importance of understanding attachment
• 8:53 - A better framing
• 11:11 - Social determinants of gender issues
• 12:19 - Jayson’s experience with the masculine-feminine frame

Links:

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Jayson on social media:

Dec 30, 2025 15 min

The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

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