The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce

Episode 131: Considering divorce and feeling totally isolated? Discover the life-changing power of emotional safety, true sisterhood, and stepping into your authenticity. ✨

Well hello, gorgeous babes! 💖 Quinn and I are still floating in our gorgeous post-retreat glow-up, and we couldn’t wait to bring that juicy, transformative energy straight to your ears. Coming into our second Stay or Go Retreat, we kept wondering: Can you really catch lightning in a bottle twice? The answer is a resounding, heart-expanding YES. ⚡️

In this episode, we’re unpacking the pure magic that unfolded over 48 sacred hours in our private oasis. When you’re navigating an unhappy marriage, contemplating separation, or feeling touched out, overwhelmed, and disconnected from your core, your nervous system is constantly on high alert. You forget what it feels like to just arrive and be fully safe in the present moment without having to perform, caretake, or prove you're worthy. 🌿

We dive into what shifts when women come together in an emotionally mature, matriarchal space free of competition, cattiness, or guilt:

• Sinking Into Safety: Why taking off the caregiver hat—not cooking, cleaning, or explaining yourself—lets your nervous system finally exhale 🕊️
• From “Touched Out” to Genuinely Held: The difference between depleting physical demands at home and the healing power of consensual, supportive sisterhood 🫂
• Emotional Breadth & Healing: Stepping through the full spectrum of emotions (anger, grief, pride, and unapologetic joy) guided by somatic work, sound healing, and nourishing food 🍲🎶
• Honoring Your Boundaries: How our community practices self-regulation, handles triggers without shame, and claims the right to take space and solitude 🌲
• Finding Love & Fun Again: A hilarious (and surprisingly profound!) story about TSA flagging a Kamasutra deck, and why your capacity for pleasure and love doesn’t end with marriage 🔥😉

Babes, the deep, bold, fully supported life you dream about isn’t just a fantasy—it is waiting for you, and you don’t have to earn it. Tune in, soak up the love, and remember that you never have to walk this path alone. 💕

Ready to find your people and join us for the next retreat? Join our private circle! Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY (all one word) to 33377 to apply and connect with our team.

Special shout-outs & links mentioned in this episode:

• Sound Bath Facilitator: Alexander Coronado 🎶
• Somatic & Emotional Workshop Facilitator: Dushka Lecote ✨

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Episode 130: Feeling overwhelmed by divorce decisions and carrying the weight of everything on your own shoulders? In this raw, unscripted episode, I’m inviting you right into the messy behind-the-scenes of my life. Just 48 hours before hosting our second Stay or Go retreat, my "fux to give" meter officially hit zero. Between unexpected neighborhood drama, hormonal burnout, and a tech glitch that threatened to wipe out hours of my work, my old trauma response kicked right in: overfunction, take control, and just push through at my own expense. 🌪️

That’s when my coach and soul sister Quinn caught me in the middle of that spiral and asked the game-changing question: What do you need right now? 💭

Together, we break down why so many of us in rocky relationships default to the exhaustion trap—believing we have to get everything done, fix every crisis, and keep all the plates spinning before we’re allowed to rest or make a move. Quinn brings back our powerful "Rocket Ship" analogy 🚀 to show you why you cannot launch your life on a half-empty tank, and why learning to pause and refuel in the moment is your greatest superpower.

Tune in as we dive into:

• How to spot the CPTSD “overfunctioning” trap when life starts piling up
• Why high expectations and perfectionism will rob you of your fuel right when you need it most
• The life-changing power of asking, "Do I actually have to do this right now?"
• Letting go of control so you can finally be taken care of, too
• The miraculous synchronicities that opened the door for Quinn to join our retreat

Take a deep breath, babe. You don't have to carry the whole world today. Pop in your earbuds, let’s get real together, and give yourself full permission to refuel. 💕

Show Notes:

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Episode 129: Why "conscious uncoupling" might be trapping you with a volatile spouse. Thinking you can gently off-ramp from a high-conflict marriage? In this heart-to-heart, I’m pulling back the curtain on why trying to use a collaborative divorce approach with an emotionally immature, volatile, or controlling partner doesn't work—and how it can actually be turned against you.

This week, I felt called to drop in and talk about a dynamic I've been seeing repeatedly with my one-on-one coaching clients and session calls: smart, incredible women trying to apply a peaceful, Gwyneth Paltrow-style "conscious uncoupling" framework to partners who simply aren't capable of it.

If you’ve been hoping for a calm, six-month separation or holding out for your spouse's permission to end things, we need to dismantle that fantasy today. We are diving deep into:

• 🚀 The Rocket Ship Divorce Strategy: Why high-conflict divorces require strategic, quiet preparation before taking swift, decisive action (no lingering!).
• 🧠 The Neurobiology of Staying: How intermittent reinforcement creates a dopamine loop similar to gambling, making you doubt yourself and buy back into toxic cycles.
• ⚠️ The Hidden Traps of Collaborative Divorce: Why informal negotiations can fail when facing financial hiding, stalling tactics, or coercive control.
• 🧹 Spotting "Hoovering": The subtle ways spouses try to suck you back in through manufactured crises, grand promises, and intense guilt trips.

I know how real the mental fog is when you've been managing volatility for years. There is absolute zero shame in needing high-touch, hands-on support to map out your exit safely. You deserve clarity, financial transparency, and true peace! ✨

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• 🔗 Work With Britta 1-on-1 — Apply for the Deep Dive One-on-One Coaching Container (Only 1–2 spots left! Book your vibe check today).
• 🎬 Documentary Mentioned: Death of the Pastor's Wife on Netflix
• 🎧 Listen to: When Husbands Don't "Lose Their Sh*t" During Divorce: A Success Story

• Apple
• Spotify

• 🎧 Listen to: You’re Not Alone: Misogyny, Violence, and Real-World Safety Tools

• Apple
• Spotify

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Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 128: Therapy, Coaching, or Psychiatry: Which support do you actually need when considering divorce?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the major differences between therapy, psychiatry, and coaching—and why all three can be absolute game-changers for your journey.

Life has been super full over here in October! Between family, my clients, and prepping for our second Stay or Go community retreat, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what it actually takes to feel supported during one of the most intense seasons of your life.

When you’re navigating the heavy question of whether to stay or go, you don't just need any support—you need the right support for where you’re at right now.

Inside this episode, I share:

• 🧠 Therapy: Why soft, unhurried clinical spaces are essential for deep trauma, attachment wounds, and processing childhood patterns.
• 💊 Psychiatry: My personal experience with late-diagnosed ADHD and how addressing neurochemistry can give you your bandwidth back when coaching or therapy feels stuck.
• 🚀 Coaching: How we build forward momentum, interrupt emotional spin, and clear the windshield so you can stop second-guessing and take action.
• 💡 The Self-Check: Questions to ask yourself to figure out which modality (or combination!) your nervous system and brain need right now—especially if you're working with budget constraints.

There is nothing sexier than letting yourself be fully supported, my love. Tune in to learn how to audit your current needs and build a support team that meets you right where you are. ✨

Resources:

Apple - Episode 89: Could Undiagnosed ADHD Be Your Missing Piece?

Spotify - Episode 89: Could Undiagnosed ADHD Be Your Missing Piece?

Apple - Episode 81: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood

Spotify - Episode 81: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 127: Am I a bad person for having an affair or showing up in ways that terrify me? 💔 If you’ve ever found yourself acting out of integrity, hiding secrets, or spiraling into intense shame, this episode is a safe space to breathe and drop the self-judgment.

In this episode, we’re doing a deep dive into shadow work, making the darkness conscious, and reclaiming the exiled parts of yourself that have been locked away for far too long. 🔑

Inside this episode, we explore:

• ✨ Shadow Behaviors vs. Who You Are: Why engaging in taboo desires, affairs, or secrets doesn't mean you are a "bad" or "evil" person.
• 📉 The Ineffectiveness of the Shame Spiral: Why beating yourself up and throwing deadbolts on your "basement" only makes shadow behaviors escape sideways.
• 🌗 Embracing Yin & Yang: How to break free from the lie of being "all light" and step into true human wholeness.
• 🥀 Blooming in a Closet: What to do when you’re paired with a partner who demands rigid perfection and refuses to tolerate human complexity.
• 🌱 Reclaiming Exiled Desires: How to bring hidden parts of your sexuality, anger, or autonomy back into the living room of your life with adult integrity.

Stop punishing yourself for the ways your starved parts are reacting to being locked away. It’s time to move out of black-and-white thinking and step into your full, vast, and authentic self! 💖

Links & Resources Mentioned

• Ready for Deep-Dive Support? I currently have only 2 spots open for my high-touch 1-on-1 coaching container before we launch the waitlist! Click here to book an Alignment & Clarity Call with Britta
• Love the Podcast? Please take 30 seconds to rate, review, or leave a comment on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every review helps get this safe space into the hands of another woman who needs it today!
• Ep #11: Unmanaged Complex PTSD: How It Affects Your Life & Relationships
• Apple: Do You Really Want a Divorce — or Are You in a CPTSD Flashback?
• Spotify: Do You Really Want a Divorce — or Are You in a CPTSD Flashback?
• Apple: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood
• Spotify: From Fog to Freedom: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Pare Underwood

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 126: Stop doing this alone. Discover why real, unshakeable sisterhood is the ultimate game changer when considering divorce—and how connection physically rewires your brain for strength.

Lovies, welcome back! We are doing something a little different this week because we’ve hit a Fifth Tuesday—a rare moment on the calendar that only rolls around once every three months!

My business advisor gave me the most gorgeous suggestion for these Fifth Tuesdays: take a breath, look back at past episodes that didn't get the love they deserved, and pull a hidden gem up to the surface.

Today, we are resurrecting Episode 78, an episode recorded right after Quinn and I returned from our very first Stay or Go retreat. Y’all... Quinn is on fire in this conversation. She drops truth bomb after truth bomb, breaking down the neuroscience of support, why isolation is physically dangerous, and how true connection helps us heal internal misogyny and stop centering men’s emotions over our own lives.

The timing couldn't be more synchronistic. As we pass into October 2026, we are celebrating two years of the Stay or Go community and preparing for our second annual retreat! Looking at this episode now gives me chills. A year ago, women were listening to this exact conversation feeling lonely, stuck, and terrified. They took the leap, joined the community, and this month, they’re celebrating radical personal transformation in person with me.

Whether this is your first time hearing this episode or your fourth, let it hit differently today. Let it be your clarion call to stop waiting on the sidelines.

What We Dig Into in This Episode

• The Difference Between Connection and "Performative" Relationships: We unpack Brené Brown’s definition of real connection and contrast it with the conditional, role-based relationships many of us grew up with in patriarchal or high-control systems.
• The Neuroscience of Sisterhood: Why having women in your corner physically increases your capacity to handle hard things and alters your brain’s perception of fear—turning an overwhelming threat into a manageable challenge.
• The Physical Danger of Isolation: Digging into the U.S. Surgeon General’s research showing that loneliness carries health risks equivalent to smoking and obesity.
• Decentering Men and Healing Relational Aggression: How shifting away from competing for male attention allows women to rebuild the broken maternal lines and form safe, sacred webs of support.
• What "Doing Your Own Work" in Community Looks Like: Why real community isn't a passive venting space or a codependent rescue mission—it’s a mirror, a net, and a container for deep self-responsibility.

Show Notes:

Strong Ground - Brene Brown

The Rise & Fall of Capitalism - Diabolical Lies

Instagram Reel

Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. - Surgeon General’s Advisory

Doing Almost Anything is Better With Friends, Research Finds- Washington Post

Davis AJ, Crittenden B, Cohen E. Effects of social support on performance outputs and perceived difficulty during physical exercise. Physiol Behav. 2021 Oct 1;239:113490. doi: 10.1016/j.physbeh.2021.113490. Epub 2021 Jun 15. PMID: 34139269.

The role of social support and social identification in challenge and threat, perceived stress, and life satisfaction. Jamie C. Gillman, Martin J. Turner, Matthew J. Slater

First published: 11 July 2024 https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12982

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Episode 125: Reclaiming the wild woman within starts when we finally slow down and listen to our bodies.

In this episode, I’m leaning into deep trust, honoring my fatigue, and stepping away from the "push through it" culture. After battling intense PMDD and learning to honor my body’s natural rhythms, I felt called to share something soul-deep with you today: a cozy, fireside-style reading from the iconic introduction of Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. 📚🕯️

Seven years after my divorce, looking back at my taped-together copy of this book reminds me where my entire healing journey began. We dive into what it truly means to reconnect with the wild woman archetype, trust your intuitive inner knower, and stop shrinking yourself to fit into a world that doesn't hold space for your true nature.

In this episode, we explore:

• 🌿 Honoring Body Cues: Why stepping back to rest and resource actually created more abundance and peace in my life.
• 🐺 The Wild Woman Archetype: How connecting with your natural instincts helps you navigate difficult life transitions and divorce considerations.
• 📖 A Soulful Reading: A deep dive into the intro of Women Who Run with the Wolves and why story is medicine for our healing.
• 🛠️ Grounding Practices: Insights on our latest community workshop with Jenica Mills on nervous system regulation and embodiment.

So grab a fresh cup of tea, wrap yourself in your favorite blanket, and let these words gently wash over you. It’s time to sing the flesh back onto our bones and return to ourselves. ☕💛

Episode Links & Community Resources:

• Donate to the GoFundMe: Click the link to read her powerful story and donate $10, $20, or whatever you can to help get her back on the road!
• Women Who Run With the Wolves- Clarissa Pinkola Estés
• Join the Stay or Go Community: Text StayOrGoCommunity to 33777 to access Jenica Mills’ Grounding & Orienting workshop replay and get details on our upcoming October Retreat!

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 124: Ever enter a conversation trying to address something that hurt you, only to walk away 20 minutes later feeling like you’re the one who messed up? 🤯 If you constantly find yourself apologizing for things your partner did, you aren't crazy - you might be experiencing DARVO.

In this episode, I’m digging deep into DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) the ultimate playbook used by manipulators, narcissists, and emotionally immature partners to dodge accountability and flip the script on you.

Together, we’ll break down:

• 🧠 What DARVO stands for and why it completely untethers your reality.
• 💔 4 real-life stories illustrating how DARVO shows up in everyday conflicts, sexual coercion, avoiding responsibility during a crisis, and emotional punishment.
• 🛡️ Why empathetic women are so vulnerable to this tactic (and how your best qualities get weaponized against you).
• 🚪 How to spot the script so you can step out of the "crazy room," stop defending yourself, and reclaim your power and peace.

Plus, before we jump into the topic, I’m sharing a very special request from my heart. I’m asking our amazing sisterhood to step up and help a wonderful young woman in deep financial need by supporting her GoFundMe. Let’s show up for each other! 💖

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• 🚗 Support the GoFundMe: Click the link to read her powerful story and donate $10, $20, or whatever you can to help get her back on the road!
• 💬 Ready to untangle the confusion in your marriage? If your gut is reacting to this episode, don't figure it out alone. Text 90MIN (all one word) to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Get Unstuck & Empowered Session with me.
• ⭐️ Love the show? Please take a quick moment to rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more women find the clarity and support they need!

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 123: The Lindsay Clancy Case: Why So Many Women Are Drowning in Silence 💔 Is the pressure to hold everything together leaving you completely exhausted? If you are a deeply sensitive, high-functioning, or neurodivergent woman carrying the weight of a marriage that looks "good" on the outside while drowning on the inside, this raw, unscripted episode is for you.

Today, I’m opening up about a deep, intuitive download that poured out of me after processing the collective grief, rage, and visceral reaction so many of us felt watching the Lindsay Clancy trial unfold.

Inside this episode, we’re unpacking:

• 🛑 The Lindsay Clancy Case & Female Psyche: Why this tragedy hit such an unspoken nerve for women who recognize the terrifying reality of drowning without a safe harbor.
• ⚡ Women as "Shock Absorbers": How we burn out trying to absorb the friction of failed systems, patriarchal expectations, and emotionally disconnected marriages.
• 🌿 Somatic Healing & CPTSD: A personal walk-through of a recent trauma flashback I experienced, how my nervous system released it, and what true safety feels like.
• ❤️‍🩹 Reframing Survival Tactics: Why affairs, overworking, or self-medicating aren't moral failings—they're desperate body responses to a lack of support.
• ✨ Reclaiming Your Humanity: How to stop sacrificing your soul on the altar of keeping everyone else happy, and start building a life where you are genuinely held.

You are not crazy, you are not broken, and you were never meant to carry this heavy load all by yourself. Take a deep breath, soft shoulders, and let's dive in together. 💗

Show Notes:

Jenna's Instagram Post

Apple - What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera

Spotify - What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera

Apple - Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera

Spotify - Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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Episode 122: Somatic trauma release and nervous system healing with guest Jennica Mills. 🌿✨

Hey friend, welcome back! Today, we are taking a deep breath and dropping straight into something that every single woman considering divorce needs to hear. I am beyond thrilled to sit down with the incredible Jennica Mills—a somatic educator with over 22 years of experience in trauma release, sexual wellness, and embodiment work.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve completely lost yourself while trying to keep the peace, overfunctioning, or trying to manage everyone else’s emotions around you… this conversation is going to feel like a warm hug and a massive breakthrough all at once. ❤️

Jennica and I dive into:

• Why "calm" isn't the ultimate goal: Moving past standard nervous system regulation into true responsiveness 🌊
• Interoception & Neurosception: How to tune back into your body's wisdom so you can finally know your true "yes" and "no" 🔍
• The "Myopic Mirror": Why you might feel a deep conflict between who everyone else expects you to be and who your soul actually is ✨
• Orienting & Grounding: Why we have to build safety and capacity in the body before diving into deep trauma work 🌳

It is time to give your body permission to step out of survival mode and into full-on intimacy with your life. Grab a tea, get comfortable, and let's drop in together! 🎧👇

Want to join Jennica live inside our Stay or Go Community? 💖 She is coming into the community for two powerful workshops on Orienting and Grounding!

📱 Text "stayorgo community" to 33777 to get onboarded so you don't miss out on dropping in with us live!

Show Notes:

Jennica's Website

Jennica's Instagram

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The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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Episode 121: How to Have the Breakup Conversation When You Fear Conflict 💔

Having the breakup conversation with your spouse can feel utterly overwhelming, especially if you hate conflict or worry about how they’ll react. If you’ve been holding back your decision to leave simply because you’re terrified of bringing it up, take a deep breath. You are not alone, and you don’t have to navigate this dysregulating moment without a roadmap.

In this episode, I’m digging deep into what it actually takes to prepare for the separation or divorce talk. We’re moving beyond just finding the "perfect words" to focus on what matters most: your safety, your emotional grounding, and setting firm boundaries.

Here is what we dive into together:

• 📋 Pre-Conversation Prep: How sorting out your logistics and knowing your rights beforehand gives you a grounded foundation.
• 🔄 The Reality of EIPs: Why this conversation might not be "one and done" if you are married to an emotionally immature partner.
• 💔 Grieving the Outcome: Accepting that no combination of words will magically make an emotionally volatile partner react calmly.
• 🗣️ The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Framework: A simple 4-step script to state your boundaries clearly without getting pulled into emotional manipulation or drama.

Remember, my love: you don’t need your partner’s permission or agreement to choose yourself. Tune in, take a slow breath, and let’s walk through this together. 🤍

Next Steps & Resources Mentioned:

• 🎙️ Episode 106 Apple: When Husbands Don't Lose Their Shit During Divorce
• 🎙️ Episode 106 Spotify: When Husbands Don't Lose Their Shit During Divorce
• 🎙️Episodes 110 Apple: What Every Woman Deserves to Know (with Quinn)
• 🎙️https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/what-every-woman-deserves-to-know-with-quinn-otrera/id1721842163?i=1000771899718Episodes 110 Spotify: What Every Woman Deserves to Know (with Quinn)
• 🎙️Episode 111 Apple: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted (with Quinn)
• 🎙️Episode 111 Spotify: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted (with Quinn)
• 🎙️Episode 85 Apple: Stop the Narcissist Hunt: Focus on How YOU Feel Instead
• 🎙️ Episode 85 Spotify: Stop the Narcissist Hunt: Focus on How YOU Feel Instead
• Unpaid labor Reel
• 📚 Recommended Reading: Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People by Lindsay Gibson
• 💬 Get 1-on-1 Support: Need a tailor-made roadmap for your unique situation? Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-minute coaching session with me.
• 👯‍♀️ Join the Community: Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to connect with women who truly get it!

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Stay or Go Community

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Episode 120: Reclaim your authority and trust your intuition when considering divorce.

This episode is a banger, and I am speaking straight from the heart (and a little bit of fire 🔥).

If you’ve been feeling stuck, exhausted, or constantly doubting your own reality, I want to land one fundamental truth in your heart today: In a world designed by and for men, trusting your own mind and body is a radically necessary act of self-preservation. 💡

In this episode, I’m opening up about a personal health scare with perimenopause and how easily even I caught myself outsourcing my authority to external "experts" who told me my symptoms weren't real. 🛑 We dig into how we as women, especially those considering divorce or coming out of fundamentalist religious environments, have been systematically programmed to believe someone else out there knows better than we do.

Here’s what we’re breaking down together:

• 🛑 Reclaiming Your "Motherfucking No": Why ignoring your body’s signals is keeping you stuck—and how to start trusting your burnout, your boundaries, and your intuition over someone else’s comfort.
• 💔 The "Good Guy" Trap: How subtle manipulation, emotional hijacking, and patriarchal rules teach us to make our unhappiness a "me problem" instead of seeing the system for what it is.
• 🚪 No One Is Coming to Save You: Accepting that while no knight in shining armor is showing up to fix your marriage, you hold the steering wheel—and you don't have to drive alone.
• 📣 A Word to My Male Listeners: Why patriarchal systems exploit you, too, and why reclaiming individual agency is a civic and human imperative.

You hold more authority than you think, babe. It’s time to take it back. 💪✨

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:

• Join the Stay or Go Community: Text STAYORGO to 33777 to surround yourself with women who have your back. 👯‍♀️
• Book a 90-Minute Strategy Session: Text 90MIN to 33777 to start doing the deep one-on-one work. 🗝️
• Recommended Episodes: Go back and check out my deep dive into Gerda Lerner's The Creation of Patriarchy and The Creation of Feminist Consciousness. 📚
• Episode 110: What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera
• Episode 111: Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera
• "The Men Are Not All Right"...Right? - Diabolical Lies
• Invisible Women - Caroline Criado Perez

Support the show

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

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Episode 119: Nervous System Regulation for Divorce & Decision Making: Why You’re Not Broken

Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or trapped in your marriage and wondering why you can’t make a clear decision? In this episode of the Stay or Go Podcast, I dive deep into why your nervous system regulation is the ultimate key to moving from survival mode into steady clarity. If you've been judging yourself for feeling paralyzed, take a deep breath, you are not broken. Your body is just asking for physical safety before it can process life-altering choices.

In this episode, we cover:

• 🧠 The Science of Your Autonomic Nervous System: A simple, approachable breakdown of the sympathetic "accelerator," parasympathetic "brake," and how they control your stress response.
• 🛑 Why You Can’t "Power Through" Dysregulation: How survival mode keeps you trapped in immediate escapes (like buffering, scrolling, or overworking) instead of long-term clarity.
• 🛠️ Real-World Somatic Tools: Simple, accessible practices you can use right now to ground yourself - including EFT tapping, fascia release, and muscle resets.
• 🎨 Exciting Community Updates: I share the launch of the new Gorgeous Alter Ego Design Workbook (co-created with Quinn Otrera and Jess Jox) on Substack, plus the story behind the podcast’s brand-new logo!

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• ✨ Get the Alter Ego Workbook: Join my paid Substack for just $11/month to snag the new workbook, access the Conscious Mind Mini-Course, and join our monthly live Q&As!
• 👯‍♀️ Join the Stay or Go Community: Ready to stabilize your nervous system alongside an incredible group of women? Text StayOrGoCommunity (all one word) to 33377 to get instant access to all our calls, workshops, and 2026 content.
• 💌 Work With Britta 1-on-1:Want personalized, deep-dive coaching to clear the fog and move forward? Check out my private coaching containers linked here and below.
• Human Garage (Fascia Work)
• Episode 118 - EFT tapping and resources linked
• Episode 118 Apple - EFT tapping and resources linked
• Episode 109 - Apple
• Episode 109 - Spotify
• Episode 113 - Spotify
• Episode 113 - Apple

Drop your shoulders away from your ears, place a hand on your heart, and let’s dive in together. Sending you so much love and steady ground! 🤍

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Episode 118: EFT Tapping for Nervous System Regulation & Somatic Healing with Jess Johnson

Ever feel like your mind knows you’re safe, but your body is still completely hijacked by anxiety, rage, or overthinking? 🤯 Babes, you are not crazy—and you definitely cannot "think" your way out of a body-level stress response!

In today’s episode, I am freaking out with excitement because I’m joined by the incredible Jess Johnson, a former trauma therapist turned mind-body connection coach. Jess uses evidence-based EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping) to help high achievers, leaders, and women like us drop the self-doubt, stop tying our self-worth to productivity, and get our bodies actually on board with our healing. 🧠✨

We get super real, raw, and explicit about:

• 🕷️ The Science of Tapping: How two rounds of EFT literally cured Jess’s severe, life-disrupting arachnophobia.
• 🧠 Mansplaining Your Inner Child: Why forced positive affirmations don't work until you give your true feelings a voice first.
• 💥 Body vs. Mind Disconnect: What’s really happening when your emotional reaction doesn’t match the situation in front of you.
• 🩺 Perimenopause, Rage, & Medical Gaslighting: Jess’s honest journey through physical burnout, finding the right support, and using EFT as "emotional Drain-o."
• 🖐️ A Step-by-Step Tapping Guide: A mini-walkthrough of the exact EFT points so you can start getting instant somatic relief today!

Whether you’re dealing with CPTSD emotional flashbacks, burnout, or making tough life transitions, this episode is full of science-meets-soul wisdom, zero-BS tools, and plenty of laughs. Pop in those earbuds and let's get into it! 🎙️✨

🌟 Resources & Connect with Us:

Join the Stay or Go Community: Text StayorGocommunity (all one word) to 33777 to get in ASAP for our upcoming live nervous system regulation workshops!

Jess’s Fun Side-Hustle:Don't forget to listen to her hilarious smutty book podcast, Between the Folds! 😉

Jess's Website: http://www.jessjohnsoncoaching.com/

Jess's Instagram: @jess.johnsoncoaching

Get Jess's Free Basic EFT Workbook — Sign up for Jess's email list to instantly receive her step-by-step workbook to help you use EFT for your daily goals and nervous system regulation!

Check out Jess Johnson's YouTube Channel for guided EFT videos, including:

• Tapping Meditations:

• 📽️ WTF is EFT? (Playlist) — A great, beginner-friendly starting point!
• 📽️ I Choose Courage
• 📽️ EFT for Self-Trust

• Personal "Tapping in the Wild" Sessions:

• Husband Fuckery Recovery
• Processing Medical Anxiety
• Afghanistan Crisis Tapping

The Science of Tapping by Dr. Peta Stapleton

TEDx Talk: Is Therapy Facing a Revolution? by Dr. Peta Stapleton

EFT vs. EMDR Comparative Studies: Explore the latest clinical research comparing EFT and EMDR side-by-side at Evidence-Based EFT Comparative Studies.

Brad Yates YouTube Channel — High-yield, approachable tapping videos from one of the pioneers in the EFT space!

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Episode 117: Why Love Alone Can’t Save Your Marriage (And Leaving a "Good Guy" with Deep Wounds)

Hi there, love. Place a hand on your heart and take a deep breath with me. 🤍

In today’s deeply personal episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on a recent, heavy experience that brought up a truth many women in our community struggle with: Why love alone cannot save a relationship, especially when you are considering divorcing a "good guy" who carries deep, unhealed wounds. 💔

After learning about the tragic passing of an ex-partner, I found myself revisiting the old scabs of a relationship filled with profound love, chemistry, and connection—but one where we were ultimately both drowning. 🌊 If you’ve ever found yourself wishing he would just cheat or do something terrible so you’d have a "clear line" to leave, I want you to know: You are not alone, and you are not crazy. Often, your empathy becomes the very cage that keeps you trapped in self-abandonment.

In this episode, we unpack:

• 🕊️ The "Healing Fantasy": How childhood attachment wounds make us fall in love with potential instead of staying grounded in current reality.
• 🧮 The "Compatibility Math": A neutral, shame-free framework to evaluate variables like childhood trauma, addiction, neurodiversity, and capacity.
• ⚓ Drowning vs. Anchoring: Why two codependent, insecurely attached partners can’t pull each other to safety without a life raft.
• ✨ Hope for Secure Attachment: How choosing yourself isn't selfish—it's the gateway to true, securely attached love (and why it's waiting for you on the other side).

Loving someone doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your mental health, your peace, or your life purpose to keep them afloat. Let’s talk about how to look at the "math" of your relationship with radically honest, loving eyes. 🌿

Ready to Get Clarity on Your Next Step?

• 🕊️ Book a 90-Minute Clarity Drop-In Session: A focused, ground-level deep dive to map out your history, your relationship dynamic, and your immediate roadmap forward.
• ✨ Apply for 1:1 Deep Dive Coaching (3 Months): High-touch, intimate support for women navigating the entire process of deciding whether to stay or go.

Show Notes:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Episode 113 Apple: Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce (Exploring Mother Hunger & implicit memory)

Episode 113 Spotify: Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce (Exploring Mother Hunger & implicit memory)

Episode 12 Apple: Attachment Theory & Its Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage

Episode 12 Spotify: Attachment Theory & Its Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage

If this episode touched your heart, please pass it along to a sister who needs to hear it today. Sending you so much love! 💖

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The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

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Episode 116: Reinvent Yourself After Divorce: How to Build Your Alter Ego with Quinn Otrera💫

Welcome back, babes! If you’ve been feeling a little stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re experiencing an identity collapse while navigating marriage decisions or post-divorce life—this episode was made for you.

This week, I’m joined by the incredible Quinn Otrera, and she is bringing a tool to the podcast that blew my mind: The Alter Ego Effect (inspired by Todd Herman’s work!).

We dig deep into what happens to our sense of self when the old roles we used to play—like "wife," "Mormon mom," or "trad wife"—no longer fit. Instead of staying stuck in fear, low-grade anxiety, or the story that you’re just a "sad single mom," Quinn shares how stepping into a future-focused alter ego can completely shift your energy, your boundaries, and your nervous system.

In this episode, we talk about:

✨ What identity collapse really is—and why it’s a natural part of divorce.

✨ How famous icons (like Beyoncé and Kobe Bryant) used alter egos to break through fear.

✨ Shifting your physiology and story so you feel safe, confident, and magnetic now.

✨ Quinn’s hilarious and empowering dating stories (and how she stepped into her ultimate power stance).

✨ Practical, "tiny habit" tools to step out of the heavy slog and make rebuilding your life fun and playful again!

Whether you’re considering divorce, right in the thick of it, or rebuilding on the other side, this conversation is an invitation to play, dream, and choose who you want to be next.

(And P.S., I know I mention Quinn's worksheet dropping this week in the episode, but I’ve decided to slow down and pour some extra design love into making it a full mini-workbook for Substack in a couple of weeks!) 🎨✨

👉 Bonus for Substack Subscribers: Quinn has graciously allowed us to share her custom Alter Ego Worksheet! Head over to the paid Substack subscribers area using the link above to get your hands on it as soon as it drops in a couple weeks.

Let's step into our bold, vibrant selves together! Click play and let's dive in. 🎙️🔥

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Substack: Grab the exclusive Alter Ego Worksheet in our paid subscriber section soon!
• Design Inspiration: Check out the amazing work by Jess Jaques - Instagram
• Jess Jacques - The Passive Rebel
• Join the Stay or Go Community: Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to connect with us, get tarot readings with Quinn, and find your tribe. ✨

Books Mentioned:

• The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman
• Be Your Future Self Now by Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg.

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Episode 115: Mismatched sex drives in marriage? Let’s talk about reclaiming your erotic blueprint, shedding the shame, and owning your desire.

Welcome back, y'all! Hello, hello. Today, we are diving headfirst into one of my absolute favorite topics on the planet—one that is so often swept under the rug, especially when we’re trying to decide whether to stay or go. We are talking about sex drives, intimacy, and eroticism. 🌶️

I almost titled this episode "So You're Kinky AF, but Your Spouse Isn't—What to Do," but my marketing friends reminded me that we need to keep things SEO-friendly! But babes, that is exactly the heart of what we are unpacking today.

For so many of us—especially those raised with heavy religious repression (hello, Mormonism! 👋)—sexuality is something we’ve been taught to control, hide, or ignore. But after my own divorce, diving into my eroticism became one of the richest, most beautiful landscapes for discovering who I actually am.

In this episode, we are digging deep into:

• Your Erotic Blueprint 🗺️: Drawing wisdom from Jack Morin’s incredible book, The Erotic Mind, we explore how our unique turn-ons and turn-offs are shaped by our histories, our traumas, and our cultures.
• The Danger of Repression 🚪: Why shoving your desires into a dark closet actually makes you more likely to cause harm to yourself and others (and why owning your kinks makes them your bitch!).
• Mismatched Desires in Marriage ⚖️: How to evaluate if you and your spouse can actually build an intimate playground together using Emily Naguski’s Come Together framework.
• The Power of Self-Touch 💖: Why reclaiming your pleasure by yourself is the safest, most empowering place to start healing, resetting your nervous system, and stepping into your adult autonomy.

Whether you feel like "too much" or you’ve completely shut down your desire to survive a sexless marriage, please hear me: Your eroticism is the very energy of life itself. You cannot cut it off without cutting off your own growth.

If this episode sparks a hunger in you to dive deeper into your own marriage dynamic, I would love to hold space for you. Grab a 90-Minute Session with me, or text "Stay or Go Community" to 33777 to join our radically supportive, pleasure-positive sisterhood. 👭✨

Let's stop letting our pleasure be an afterthought, babes. You deserve to run wild.

So much love,

Britta xoxo

Show Notes:

The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin

Come Together: The Science and Art of Creating Lasting Sexual Connection by Emily Naguski

Come As You Areby Emily Naguski

Apple: Episode 97: Fate vs. Destiny

Spotify: Episode 97: Fate vs. Destiny

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Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

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Episode 114: What happens when your life looks absolutely perfect on the outside, but on the inside, you are completely starving for a deeper, more authentic connection?

This week, I am sitting down with my client turned dear friend, LeeAnna, for a deeply vulnerable, unfiltered conversation about what it actually looks like to face a divorce after 28 years of marriage while grappling with childhood trauma and insecure attachment.

LeeAnna opens up about the painful reality of leaving a marriage that wasn’t inherently "bad" or abusive, but was plagued by a low-level, insidious emotional neglect. From navigating the deep shame of an affair to the heartbreak of letting go of her award-winning dream home, LeeAnna shares how she stopped hyper-functioning to avoid her pain and finally learned how to sit in the "stew" of her reality to choose herself.

If you are a type-A perfectionist who has spent your life collecting quantities (years of marriage, money, status) instead of focusing on emotional quality, this episode is a permission slip to embrace the messy transition and reclaim your autonomy.

In this episode, we explore:

• The "Gilded Cage" Dilemma: Choosing the truth of the inside over the beautiful, perfect image on the outside.
• Insecure Attachment & CPTSD: Recognizing emotional flashbacks and breaking the cycle of dissociation in your relationships.
• The Chemistry of "Parts Work": How integrating your dark, traumatized, and acting-out parts allows you to show up as a whole adult.
• The Reality of Leaving with Love: Why setting boundaries and choosing divorce can be the ultimate act of kindness for both partners.
• Life On the Other Side: How LeeAnna rapidly built a massive, authentic life—including a new home, a classical Pilates studio, a trauma-informed podcast, and a deeply attuned new partnership—in just a few short months

Show Notes:

Connect with LeeAnna: Vocavo Health(Find LeeAnna inside our community guiding Pilates sessions for our Strong Ground theme!)

Law Firm Recommendation (Dallas/Texas)

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Episode 113: You don't trust yourself because you've been taught not to love yourself. 💔 If you are constantly drowning in doubt, feeling paralyzed by the decision to stay or go, and wondering why you can’t just make a choice and move forward—this deep, incredibly vulnerable episode is for you.

This week, I’m pulling back the curtain on a massive piece of the puzzle that so many women considering divorce completely miss. 🧠✨ The root of your self-doubt isn’t just standard marital distress. It actually ties back to a deep-seated childhood injury: insecure attachment, or what author Kelly McDaniel beautifully calls "Mother Hunger." If you grew up in an environment where mistakes weren't okay, or where your boundaries had to be violated just to keep the peace, your body stored that fear. Now, your marriage has become a literal proxy for your childhood trauma, leaving your nervous system constantly on fire. 🔥

In this episode, I’m breaking down:

• The 6 eye-opening points from the book Mother Hunger that completely blew my mind. 📚
• Why trying to heal your attachment wounds while trapped in a toxic marriage is an absolute fantasy. 🙅‍♀️
• Implicit memory: How your body remembers the first two years of your life, even if your conscious brain doesn't. 🧬
• The Savior Complex: The lie patriarchy sells us that we can endlessly sacrifice our own boundaries to save our partners (spoiler alert: we are human, not superhumans!).
• The launchpad to freedom: Why finding a community of securely attached women—a true sisterhood—is the ultimate predictor of your future health and happiness. 👯‍♀️❤️

Babes, I’m being so real with you today because I know this quicksand intimately. I’m sharing my own recent, raw breakdown on my therapist's couch to show you that healing is a lifelong process, but you don't have to do it alone. You deserve structural scaffolding, safety, and a launchpad out of the burning building. 🚀

👇 Ready to build your launchpad and step into deep, life-altering work? I’ve brought my deep-dive one-on-one coaching container back to the front, and for a temporary time, I'm lowering the price by 16%. Let's see if we are a fit to walk this path together: CLICK HERE to book your one-on-one Alignment & Clarity Call!

Loving this episode? Come join the conversation over on Substack, drop a review, or share this with a sister who needs to hear this truth today. Till next week, sending you so much love! 🤟💗

Connect with Britta:

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️

Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫

Show Notes:

Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal From Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance by Kelly McDaniel

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker

Episode 12 Apple: Attachment Theory & It's Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage

Episode 12 Spotify: Attachment Theory & It's Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage

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The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨

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Episode 112: Considering divorce? These two essential self-care questions will help you ground yourself when everything feels overwhelming.

Hey y'all, let’s just take a collective deep breath together. After a few heavy, deeply intellectual episodes, I felt it in my bones that we needed to slow down, vibe, and get back to the absolute basics this week. When I was in the thick of navigating my own separation and trying to decide whether to stay or go, my therapist started every single session with the same two questions. She didn’t dive into the big philosophical drama—she brought me right back to my body.

In this episode, I’m asking you those same two questions: How is your sleep? And how is your eating going? 🛋️✨

We dig into why these two foundational pillars of self-care are the very first things to unravel when we’re stressed, and why skipping them makes big life decisions ten times harder. I’m opening up about my own struggles with summer schedules, my holy-grail trick for blocking out the noise (hello, neon orange earplugs! 🧡), and how a fascinating book called Mother Hunger sheds light on why so many of us restrict or overeat when our nervous systems are totally revved up.

If you’ve been taught that prioritizing yourself is selfish or dangerous, let this be your gentle permission slip to remother yourself this week. You cannot resource your future if you are running on empty right now. Put the checklist down, listen in, and let’s take care of you first.

Resources:

Episode 12: Boundaries – The Life Coach School Podcast

Episode 163: Boundaries 2.0– The Life Coach School Podcast

Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniels

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