Podcast
In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex
The no-bullshit sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to.
Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game!
🎧 New episodes every week.
- Episodes
- 125
- Releases
- Weekly
- Typical length
- 56 min
- On air since
- 2023
- Latest episode
- 5 days ago
Episodes
125 episodes, newest first
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51 min
What Happens to Your Vulva as You Age? Menopause, Hormones & Sexual Health (ft. Dr. Maria Sophocles)
Season 8, Episode 7
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Dr. Maria Sophocles, gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, women’s health advocate, and author of The Bedroom Gap, for a conversation about women’s sexual health, hormones, menopause, aging, and pleasure.
What really happens to your vulva as you age? How do estrogen and testosterone affect your libido, energy, memory, vaginal health, and ability to enjoy sex? And why are so many women still struggling to get answers about their own bodies?
In this episode of In Bed With Alexa, Alexa and Dr. Maria unpack the science, misinformation, and often-overlooked realities of female sexual health: from changes in the vulva and vagina to hormone therapy, pelvic floor health, and why your sex life can actually get better with age.
TOPICS DISCUSSED:
• Vulva anatomy and what’s normal: Labia asymmetry, vulva diversity, body image, cosmetic labiaplasty, and how unrealistic porn standards can shape insecurities about genital appearance.
• The clitoris and sexual education: The internal anatomy of the clitoris, its nerve endings, why it has been overlooked in medical education, and the lack of research into women’s sexual health.
• Sexual health stigma and patient questions: Common concerns about genital anatomy
• How the vulva changes with age: Collagen breakdown, loss of fat, changes in pubic hair, reduced sensation, diminished blood flow, and changes in the appearance of the labia.
• Vaginal dryness and vaginal atrophy: How declining estrogen affects blood vessels, tissue elasticity, natural lubrication, and comfort during sex.
• Vaginal and vulvar treatments: Vaginal estrogen, vaginal testosterone, DHEA, CO2 laser treatments, vulvar serums, barrier creams, and fillers for vulvar volume.
• Labia minora shrinkage after menopause: Why the labia can become thinner over time, how this may affect sexual sensation
• Menopause and hot flashes: Why hot flashes happen and hormonal and nonhormonal approaches• Muscle mass, strength, and sexual function: Why strength training, flexibility, mobility, and balance matter for sexual activity, healthy aging, and longevity.
• Menopause and cholesterol: Why LDL cholesterol can rise during menopause
• Testosterone in women: its potential roles in libido, energy, memory, spatial recognition, mitochondrial health, and lean muscle mass.
• Low testosterone symptoms and testing: Fatigue, low desire, brain fog, mood changes
• Testosterone treatment and potential side effects: Off-label treatment, monitoring hormone levels, acne, unwanted facial or body hair, mood changes, voice deepening, and clitoral enlargement
• Hormone replacement therapy (HRT): Systemic versus topical estrogen, the role of progesterone
• Hormones and cancer misinformation: Breast cancer risk, estrogen-related concerns, the difference between correlation and causation
• Osteoporosis and the long-term effects of menopause: Bone health, delayed treatment, and why women should discuss their options rather than dismissing hormone therapy based on fear
• HPV, cancer prevention, and vaccination: HPV’s links to cervical, anal, and throat cancers, HPV vaccination
• Sex and intimacy as you age: Why sexual satisfaction can improve with age, letting go of performance pressure, and embracing intimacy and pleasure at every stage of life.
• Rethinking pleasure and productivity: Why sexual pleasure deserves a place in your lifeDisclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice. Discuss hormone therapy, medications, supplements, and treatment options with a qualified healthcare professional.
Follow Dr. Maria:Instagram: @mariasophoclesmd
Website: https://mariasophoclesmd.com/
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/alexa
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1 hr 3 min
Your Dating Standards Are Keeping You Single (ft. Todd Baratz, LMHC)
Season 8, Episode 6
Show notes
Are our dating standards keeping us single? Are we too quick to label people toxic, narcissistic, or full of red flags? Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and author Todd Baratz for a conversation about modern dating, sex, intimacy, relationship anxiety, and why finding a healthy relationship might require us to rethink everything we’ve been taught about love.
Does a healthy relationship mean never having doubts or never going to bed angry? Todd challenges popular relationship advice and explains why real connection requires vulnerability, curiosity, discomfort, and the willingness to do the work.
Topics discussed:
• Modern dating and disconnection: How social media and wider cultural changes influence connection, intimacy, and the way we relate to each other.
• Vulnerability and emotional intimacy: Why opening up feels so difficult, how our defenses protect us from rejection, and why emotional closeness requires ongoing self-work.
• Dating standards and the search for the perfect partner: How unrealistic expectations and the pursuit of an ideal relationship can shrink your dating pool.
• Red flags, dealbreakers, and dating anxiety: Whether political differences, wanting children, lifestyle preferences, and other incompatibilities should determine who gets a chance.
• Entitlement, self-worth, and reciprocity: What we deserve in relationships and why healthy relationships require collaboration rather than one-sided demands.
• Couples therapy and emotional labor: What happens when one partner is ready to work on the relationship and the other resists.
• Relationship doubts and the fear of commitment: Why doubt is a normal part of making choices and why you don't need to feel 100% certain about your partner.
• Closure and heartbreak: Whether closure is necessary to heal, how to process grief without someone else's apology, and why the popular advice “if they wanted to, they would” can create more disconnection.
• Why the right relationship can trigger you: How intimacy brings unresolved childhood wounds to the surface, why the real question is how partners respond to conflict, and how repair and emotional safety distinguish a challenging relationship from a harmful one.
• Therapy speak and performative healing: Why words like “boundaries,” “attachment,” “triggered,” “holding space,” and “narcissist” can lose their meaning when they're used to avoid vulnerability rather than create genuine connection.
• Trauma, anxiety, and self-awareness: Why understanding your history is not the same as feeling and processing it, why we may need to worry less, and how to stop turning every difficult experience into an intellectual exercise.
• Therapy, self-help, and doing the work: Why practical steps such as therapy, books, and relationship resources can help us grow, and why insight alone doesn't automatically change our behavior.
• Authenticity and being yourself: Todd's perspective on showing up as a real person rather than performing a polished therapist persona, the pressure to maintain different identities at work and in relationships, and why humor, honesty, and imperfection matter.
• Todd's personal struggles and growth: His experiences with being single, solitude, relationship challenges, heartbreak, self-care, and decades of therapy and how he handles difficult emotions without beating himself up.
• Discomfort, shame, and curiosity: Why learning to tolerate uncertainty, asking more questions, challenging rigid thinking, and becoming more open to other people can create deeper connections.
Follow Todd:Instagram: @yourdiagnonsense
Website: https://www.toddsbaratz.com
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/alexa
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53 min
Are Affairs Actually Hot? Cheating, Kinks & Relationship Rules (ft. Carly Pifer)
Season 8, Episode 5
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Carly from Read Aurore to talk about why affairs, cheating, secrecy, and other taboo desires can be so damn hot.
What makes an affair feel so passionate? Why does forbidden sex create such intense desire? And can cheating ever be understandable—or even acceptable—depending on the circumstances? Alexa and Carly get into the complicated psychology of infidelity, including why people cheat, why an affair isn't necessarily about the person being cheated on, the power of secrecy and feeling chosen, and why affairs between two people who are both in relationships can feel more equal than an affair between a partnered person and someone single.
Topic discussed:
• Affairs and infidelity: why affairs happen and why they're sexually appealing
• Cheating and relationship agreements
• Whether you should tell someone their partner is cheating
• The “what you don't know can't hurt you” debate
• The ethics of being the other person in an affair
• Married people cheating with single people
• Why people having affairs often don't leave their primary relationships
• The idea of financial compensation in an affair
• Esther Perel and The State of Affairs
• Cheating in abusive or neglectful relationships
• Cheating when a partner is sick or disabled
• Sexual needs within long-term relationships
• Sexual incompatibility
• Sex workers and whether hiring one constitutes cheating
• Defining what “cheating” means in a relationship
• Porn as a potential form of cheating
• Open relationships and the possibility of cheating within them
• Public sex/public play
• The thrill and risk of getting caught
• Sex in semi-public places
• Privacy, consent, and the ethics of public sexual behavior
• Being walked in on during sex
• Consensual/role-play affairs
• The fantasy of secrecy without actual betrayal
• Hotel rooms and sneaking around
• Fear of getting caught
• Feeling chosen/special through an affair
• Novelty and new relationship energyFollow Carly:Instagram: @readaurore
Website: http://www.readaurore.com
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online
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1 hr 12 min
Can Pleasure Heal Trauma? Sex, Intimacy & Reclaiming Your Power (ft. Lauren Elise Rogers)
Season 8, Episode 4
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sexuality educator and embodied intimacy & relationship coach Lauren Elise Rogers for a deeply honest conversation about sexual trauma, healing, pleasure, intimacy, consent, and reclaiming your relationship with your body.
In this episode:
• Sexual trauma and sexual assault
• Consent and coercion
• Why sexual trauma can be underreported
• Shame and sex-negative culture
• Rape culture and normalizing sexual harm
• Victim vs. survivor language
• Why healing is not linear
• Trauma, fear and helplessness
• Processing an experience after it happens
• Talking to a safe person after trauma
• Trauma and the body
• Accountability and taking responsibility
• Apologies and relationship repair
• Defensiveness and ego after causing harm
• Listening to impact instead of defending intent
• Asking curious questions
• Communication and empathy
• Sex educators and trauma therapists working together
• Pleasure as part of healing
• Reclaiming intimacy after sexual trauma
• Sex after sexual assault
• Pelvic-floor responses and sexual tension
• Triggers and nervous-system responses
• Neural pathways and creating new experiences of safety
• Somatic healing and body-based responses
• Shaking, movement, dancing and laughter
• Orgasm and pleasure
• Play as a healing modality
• Trauma becoming connected to erotic arousal
• Forgiveness vs. reconciliation
• Boundaries after harm
• Self-forgiveness
• Healing within healthy relationships
• Time, memory and healing
• Why healing doesn't necessarily mean never being triggered
• Reclaiming pleasure, agency and identity
• Building a life beyond simply “surviving”Follow Lauren:Instagram: @sex_ed_for_you
Website: http://www.sexedforyou.com
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa
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51 min
You’re Not as “Freaky” as You Think: Kinks, Fetishes & Fantasies (ft. Niki Davis)
Season 8, Episode 3
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, event planner and author Niki Davis for a conversation about sexual shame, uncommon desires, kinks, fetishes, fantasies, self-pleasure, relationships and the psychology of arousal.
Why do so many people feel ashamed of what turns them on? Niki Davis shares what she has learned from working with people with uncommon desires and explains the difference between shame and guilt, how shame can create a spiral of negative thoughts, and why people can feel like they have a “fetish self” and a separate identity.
Topics discussed:
• Sexual shame and how to recognize it• Shame vs. guilt• Uncommon sexual desires• Kinks vs. fetishes• Sexual fantasies• How the brain influences arousal• Whether desires can change or evolve• Exposure and developing new desires• Partner acceptance and exploring a partner’s kink• Balloon fetishes (poppers vs non-poppers)• Wet floor sign fetishes• Foot fetish• Carpet fetishism and Giorgio Carpet• Vore and being swallowed fantasies• Fantasy vs. real-life sexual experiences• Threesomes as fantasy vs. reality• Scat play• Disgust and arousal• Finding community around uncommon desires• Shame spirals and negative thought loops• Identifying sexual and emotional triggers• Keeping a thought log• Exploring kinks independently• Using imagination as part of erotic experiencesFollow Niki:Instagram: @missbloomsexeducator
Website: http://www.nikidavisf.com
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online
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56 min
The Bedroom Gap: Painful Sex, Low Desire & Vaginal Health (ft. Dr. Sophocles)
Season 8, Episode 2
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, and author Dr. Maria Sophocles to talk openly about painful sex, vaginal health, sexual pleasure, menopause, low desire, and everything in between.
Topics discussed:
• Why does sex hurt? How common is painful sex, and when should you see a doctor? Dr. Maria Sophocles breaks down the most common causes of sexual pain, including vaginal dryness and inadequate lubrication, lack of arousal, vaginismus and a hypertonic pelvic floor, dermatologic conditions such as lichen sclerosus, STIs including herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea, and internal causes such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, fibroids and scarring.
• Alexa and Dr. Sophocles also get into why lubrication isn't the same thing as arousal, the importance of taking time before penetration, sexual scripting, communication with your partner, the orgasm gap, faking orgasms, low libido and desire differences, and why treating pain can sometimes bring sexual desire back.
• They discuss estrogen, genitourinary syndrome of menopause, perimenopause, postpartum and breastfeeding-related changes, surgical menopause, chemotherapy, vaginal estrogen, systemic estrogen, birth control and its potential effects on dryness and libido, as well as pelvic floor physical therapy, Kegels and pelvic floor relaxation.
• The conversation also covers PMS and period symptoms, breast tenderness, mood changes, back pain, exercise, sleep, meditation, mindfulness, magnesium, ibuprofen, vitamin E and evening primrose oil.
• Pap smears, trauma during gynecological exams, pediatric speculums, lubricant during Pap testing, and the future of at-home HPV/Pap sample collection.
• They also play fact vs.fiction on cotton underwear, synthetic underwear, thongs, tight leggings, sweating after workouts, panty liners, vaginal discharge, vulva washing, soap, feminine washes, vaginal pH, normal genital odor, BV, boric acid, antibiotics, the vaginal microbiome, diet, fermented foods, probiotics/microbiome testing, vulvar irritation, pubic hair and friction.Follow Dr. Sophocles:Instagram: @mariasophoclesmd
Website: http://www.mariasophoclesmd.com
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa
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1 hr 2 min
Having Sex or Performing It: Pleasure, Body Image & Sex Trends (ft. Jill Lissner)
Season 8, Episode 1
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Jill Lissner, aka @sexedprincesss, forconversation about performative sex, pleasure, body image, consent, communication, and the weird sex trends taking over the internet.
Topics covered:
• Performative sex and what it means
• Pleasure vs. performance
• Authentic/non-performative sex
• Gendered expectations around appearance
• Penis size, erections and stamina
• Moaning and performing sounds
• Staying quiet because of shame or expectations
• Soft penises and body acceptance
• Decentering penetration
• Mutual masturbation and vulnerability
• Porn as a performance
• Being perceived and worrying how you look
• Likeability, acceptance and social performance
• Reducing performance anxiety through exposure
• “Spectatoring” during sex
• Advocating for your needs during sex
• Defaulting to giving as a performance
• Preference vs. performance
• Orgasm faces
• “Cracked” and modern sexual terminology
• Active participation in sex
• Riding/on-top positions and performing for appearance
• Recording sexual experiences
• Penetration as a performance expectation
• Critical thinking about sexual norms
• Internet sex trends
• Ball maxing/scrotum maxing
• Scrotum size and attraction
• How sexual trends spread online
• The need for more scientific research on emerging sex trendsFollow Jill:Instagram: @sexedprincesss
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
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1 hr 2 min
Rough Sex, Kink, Fantasies & What Women Really Want (ft. Small Hands)
Season 7, Episode 17
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Small Hands (Aaron Thompson) to talk about what really creates sexual attraction, the difference between confidence and competence, rough sex, kink, consent, boundaries, and the fantasies people don't always know how to talk about.
In this episode:
• Non-sexual turn-ons and how they become sexual turn-ons
• Hands, feet, scent and other physical turn-ons
• Acts of service, chores, cleaning and thoughtfulness as turn ons
• Appreciation, validation and keeping long-term relationships connected
• Boundary talks before professional collaborations
• Reading someone's comfort level and adjusting in the moment
• Sexual toys, magic wands, lube and taking initiative
• Confidence vs. competence
• Why competence may be more attractive than confidence
• Humility, ego and letting actions speak for themselves
• Sexual performance anxiety and the pressure to “deliver”
• Small Hands' first gangbang and early experiences in porn
• CNC (consensual non-consent) fantasies
• Dark fantasies and the importance of genuine desire and safety
• Kink, trauma and how life experiences can shape sexual interests
• Reclaiming autonomy through fantasy
• The unexpected origins of a foot fetish
• What “rough sex” actually means
• Physical, verbal and psychological elements of rough sex
• Why rough sex requires context, intent and communication
• Rough sex vs. disrespect
• Consent, boundaries and negotiating BDSM/kink
• Choking and assuming a partner wants it
• Hot ways of checking in during sex
• Why porn should never be treated as a guide for real-life behavior
• Trust and safety as foundations for exploring darker fantasies
• Small Hands' private fantasy of slow, romantic, sensual sexFollow Aaron:
Instagram: @thesmallhands_Follow Alexa Andre:
Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa
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45 min
Pt. 2 - I Asked a Butt Surgeon Every Question You're Too Embarrassed to Ask (ft. Dr. Evan Goldstein)
Season 7, Episode 16
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in back bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They discuss anal health, pleasure, preparation, and all the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask.
Topics discussed in this episode:
• Anal pleasure and breaking down taboos and myths
• Exploring anal stimulation for the first time
• The P-spot/prostate and prostate orgasms
• The A-spot and anal pleasure for women
• Topping vs. bottoming
• Why tops should understand anal anatomy
• Anal foreplay and gradual penetration
• The three sphincter muscles
• Breathing, relaxation and communication
• Pain, bleeding and discomfort during anal sex
• Lube and why anal sex differs from vaginal sex
• Penis size, thickness and anatomy
• Mushroom-shaped penises and preparation
• Bad first anal experiences
• Self-exploration and masturbation
• Pressure vs. in-and-out stimulation
• Riding and controlling penetration
• Dilators and gradual anal training
• Anatomy vs. psychological/neurological factors
• Bleeding, tightness and when to seek medical care
• Poop during anal sex
• Shame and anxiety around cleanliness
• Douching and over-douching
• Gut health, fiber and diet
• Prebiotics and probiotics
• Food and how diet can affect anal sex
• Condoms and anal sex
• PrEP and DoxyPEP
• The “toy test” after douching
• Hemorrhoids and what they actually are
• Fissures and skin tags
• Pegging and strap-on play
• Prostate massage and prostate milking
• Edging and gooning
• Anal Botox and pelvic floor physical therapy
• Butt facials
• Butt acne, ingrown hairs and hair removal
• Wet wipes and anal irritation
• Bidets and portable bidets
• Toilet paper vs. water-based cleaning
• Evan's work with Bespoke Surgical and Future MethodFollow Dr. G:Instagram: @drevangoldstein | @bespokesurgical | @thefuturemethod
Website and more: Bespoke Surgical
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa
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39 min
Pt. 1 - I Asked a Butt Surgeon Every Question You're Too Embarrassed to Ask (ft. Dr. Evan Goldstein)
Season 7, Episode 15
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They do a deep dive into anal sex, butt health, and everything you've always wanted to ask about your asshole.
Topics Discussed
• Dr. Evan Goldstein's journey from heart surgery to anal surgery
• Coming out and discovering anal health as a medical specialty
• Cosmetic vs. functional anal procedures
• Hemorrhoids, fissures, skin tags, and anal anatomy
• Post-pregnancy anal changes
• Grooming injuries and anal skin concerns
• Confidence and body image around the anus
• Anal bleaching and whether it's worth it
• Perineum "sunning"
• What makes a "healthy" vs. "perfect" asshole
• The truth about anal douching
• Protecting the anal microbiome
• Why over-douching can increase STI and HIV risk
• Future Method and isotonic douching
• Safe products to use in the anus
• Can anal sex make you loose?
• Incontinence myths
• Male vs. female pelvic anatomy
• Anal Botox
• When surgery is necessary
• Dilators for beginners
• Fingering mistakes that cause injuries
• Proper lubrication
• Relaxation techniques for anal penetration
• Understanding the three anal sphincters
• The three "types" of assholes
• Building up to anal safely
• How often bottoms should practice
• Fiber, probiotics, hydration, and digestive health
• Whether everyone needs to douche
• Preparing for occasional anal sex
• The prostate (P-spot)
• The A-spot
• Prostate orgasms
• Common myths surrounding anal sex
• How to reduce injury while maximizing pleasureFollow Dr. G:Instagram: @drevangoldstein | @bespokesurgical | @thefuturemethod
Website and more: Bespoke Surgical
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
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1 hr 5 min
How Written Erotica Can Completely Change Your Sex Life (ft. Carly Pifer)
Season 7, Episode 14
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Carly, founder of Read Aurore, to talk about why written erotica is becoming one of the most powerful tools for pleasure, communication and self-discovery.
Together they explore how true erotic stories differ from fantasy, why women are increasingly choosing erotica over visual porn, the psychology behind imagination and desire, how writing about sex can help process emotions and improve communication, and how reading erotica can inspire better sex and stronger relationships.
Topics discussed:
• Carly's path to creating Aurora Erotica
• Interviewing strangers about sex
• Dating in Europe vs New York
• Vacation confidence and sexual freedom
• Why true stories are hotter than fantasy
• Turning real experiences into erotica
• Writing as emotional processing
• First-time sex that is actually good
• Why men should read erotica
• Women's real sexual desires
• Affairs and taboo fantasies
• Open relationships vs secret affair
• How Aurore selects submissions
• Writing as therapy
• Rewriting difficult experiences
• Smut vs erotica
• Romance vs erotica
• The decline in Gen Z sexual activity
• Benefits of reading erotica
• Benefits of writing erotica
• Reliving pleasurable experiences
• Reading erotica together as foreplayFollow Carly:Instagram: @readaurore
Website: http://www.readaurore.com
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2629-alexa
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1 hr 4 min
How to Know When It's Time to Leave a Relationship (or Fight for It) (ft. Gaby Balsells)
Season 7, Episode 13
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with clinical psychologist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to unpack one of the hardest questions in love: how do you know whether to stay in a relationship or walk away?
Together they explore:
• how to tell the difference between a temporary rough patch and true incompatibility
• the danger of ignoring red flags during the honeymoon phase
• emotional vs. sexual compatibility
• settling vs. honoring your needs
• trusting your desires
• healthy communication
• overcoming defensiveness
• becoming "us vs. the problem”
• emotional labor
• the initiator/receiver dynamic
• why actions matter more than words
• consistency over empty promises
• repairing conflict, couples therapy,
• sexual compatibility, mismatched libidos & feeling desired
• knowing when you've waited long enough
• guilt around leaving
• selective effort & weaponized incompetence
• and why love alone isn't always enoughFollow Gaby:Instagram: @gabybalsells
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
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57 min
Vasectomies, ED, Fertility & Post-Nut Clarity (ft. Dr. Jed Kaminetsky)
Season 7, Episode 12
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with urologist Dr. Jed Kaminetsky to unpack everything you need to know about men's sexual health: from vasectomies, erectile dysfunction, testosterone, fertility, sperm count, pornography, performance anxiety, lifestyle habits, microplastics, prostate health, post-nut clarity, and why great sex is about so much more than penetration.
In this episode, Dr. Jed shares insights from performing over 6,000 vasectomies, explains why vasectomies don't affect erections, orgasms, ejaculation, libido, or masculinity, and discusses who should (and shouldn't) get one. We also dive into why more young men are experiencing erectile dysfunction, the difference between psychological and physical ED, performance anxiety, refractory periods, Viagra vs. Cialis, low testosterone, healthy ways to increase testosterone naturally, pornography's impact on arousal, penis pumps and rings, fertility, declining sperm counts, microplastics, prostate health, ejaculation frequency, steroids, testosterone therapy, men's fears around penis size, micro-penis stigma, post-nut clarity and more.
Topics discussed:
• Dr. Jed's experience performing 6,000+ vasectomies
• Why vasectomies don't affect erections, orgasms, ejaculation or libido
• Who should and shouldn't get a vasectomy
• Vasectomy reversals and success rates
• More childfree men choosing vasectomies
• Psychological vs. physical erectile dysfunction
• Performance anxiety and first-time sex nerves
• What erectile dysfunction actually means
• Lifestyle causes of ED (sleep, obesity, smoking, alcohol, exercise)
• Stress, anxiety and blood flow to the penis
• Refractory periods and why they change with age
• Viagra, Cialis and how they work
• Daily Cialis vs. as-needed dosing
• Testosterone testing and common misconceptions
• Natural ways to increase testosterone
• Weightlifting vs. endurance running for hormone health
• Penis pumps and cock rings
• Pornography, masturbation habits and sexual conditioning
• Low libido vs. erectile dysfunction
• Fertility, declining sperm counts and modern lifestyle
• Microplastics and male fertility
• Sauna use, heat exposure and sperm health
• Prostate enlargement, prostate cancer and ejaculation research
• Steroids, bodybuilding and infertility
• Testosterone replacement therapy risks
• Women's testosterone and libido
• Post-nut clarity explained
• Why men's physiology isn't an excuse to neglect a partner's orgasm
• Communication, sex therapy and relationship dynamics
• Micro-penis myths and penis size insecurity
• Why erectile dysfunction is a symptom, not a diseaseFollow Dr. Jed:Instagram: @drjedkaminetsky
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2629-alexa
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57 min
Former Sex Worker on Hiring a Male Escort, OnlyFans & the Loneliness Epidemic (ft. Coral Osborne)
Season 7, Episode 11
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Coral Osborne (@theunrealcoralosborne), sexologist, intimacy coach for men, former sex worker, and writer.
Coral shares how sex work has changed over the last decade, why the industry has become increasingly polarized, and why she believes decriminalization matters for safety and autonomy. She opens up about the realities behind influencer culture, escorting, OnlyFans, AI, the loneliness epidemic, and why becoming a content creator today is harder than ever.
The conversation takes a deeply personal turn as Coral recounts hiring a male escort, what she hoped to experience, why it didn't unfold as expected, and what the experience revealed about vulnerability, performance, pleasure, and intimacy.
Topics discussed:
• The changing landscape of sex work over the past decade
• Political divides and hypocrisy within the sex industry
• Escort culture in Los Angeles, New York, Dubai, and Las Vegas
• Why older sex workers often earn more than younger ones
• The rise of OnlyFans and if it’s easy to become a millionaire
• The loneliness epidemic and why AI won't replace real intimacy
• Building an audience on social media without sacrificing integrity
• Writing vulnerable essays on Substack
• Why Coral hired a male escort
• What it felt like to be on the client side of sex work
• Performance anxiety from a woman's perspective
• Receiving versus giving pleasure
• Faking orgasms and learning how to stop performing
• Oral sex, vulnerability, and intimacy
• Dating after leaving sex work
• Meeting her current boyfriend and navigating honesty early on
• Why intimacy and transaction can coexist
• Double standards around dating former sex workers
• Lived experience versus academic credentials in sex education
• Why coaches should continue investing in their own healing
• Using relationship tools like Yes/No/Maybe lists and relationship menus
• Bringing curiosity and intentional communication into long-term relationshipsFollow Coral Osborne:Instagram: @theunrealcoralosborne
Substack: https://substack.com/@coralosborne
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
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51 min
Pussy Worship 101: How to Give (and Receive) Pleasure Like a Pro (ft. Ashley Manta)
Season 7, Episode 10
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with sex educator, relationship coach, and OnlyFans creator Ashley Manta for a deep dive into pussy worship, oral sex, receiving pleasure, and what truly creates incredible sex. They discuss what pussy worship actually means, why enthusiasm and verbal reassurance matter and creating safety for the receiver.
Topics covered:
• What pussy worship really is
• Why enthusiasm changes everything
• Verbal reassurance before oral sex
• Creating emotional safety during sex
• The ideal 60-minute pussy worship session
• Foreplay being needed before oral sex
• Labia massage techniques
• Consent before penetration
• Pleasure-focused vs orgasm-focused sex
• Tension orgasms vs relaxed orgasms
• Betty Dodson's orgasm techniques
• Breathing through orgasm
• Why sex educators have higher standards
• Escaping performative sex
• Raising your standards for pleasure
• Porn vs real-life sex
• Learning to receive instead of always giving
• Overcoming people-pleasing in bed
• Mutual masturbation as education
• Giving and receiving feedback during sex
• Hormonal changes and changing preferences
• Pussy worship fantasies
• Bisexual experiences and women's play parties
• Breast worship and body worship
• Toys during oral and hand sex
• Why everyone should use lube
• Oral-anal hygiene tips
• Choosing partners who prioritize your pleasureFollow Ashley Manta:Instagram: @cannasexual
Website: https://www.pussywhisperer.coach
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2629-alexa
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42 min
Pt.2 - 3 Sluts, 3 Moods: Cream Pies, Pussy Health, & Feeling Chosen (Vee & Elle - Girls Gone Deep)
Season 7, Episode 9
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Vee and Elle from the Girls Gone Deep podcast for Part 2/2. Together they explore whether non-monogamy is really about unmet needs, what happens when a partner satisfies nearly everything you're looking for, the role of new relationship energy in long-term relationships, primary partnerships versus non-hierarchical polyamory, freedom and autonomy in love, catching feelings for people who aren't a match, maintaining boundaries despite intense attraction, and the science behind oxytocin, dopamine, attachment, and post-sex bonding.
They also unpack cream pies, breeding kinks, ownership versus feeling chosen, BDSM dynamics, worship, possessiveness, fertility awareness methods, Oura Ring tracking, vasectomies, accidental pregnancy stories, relationship satisfaction, energetic pleasure, arousal, and what it really means to build a "bulletproof pussy."
Topics Discussed
• Whether non-monogamy is fundamentally about unmet needs
• Can one person satisfy all your emotional, sexual, and relational needs?
• New relationship energy (NRE) and its role in long-term relationships
• Catching feelings for people who aren't a good match
• Oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins, and attachment after sex
• Bacterial vaginosis (BV): causes, treatment, recurrence, and prevention
• Yeast infections and recurring vaginal health issues
• Gut health's connection to vaginal health
• Creating a “bulletproof pussy”
• Sleep, alcohol, drugs and sex
• UTIs and post-sex hygiene
• Self-checking vaginal health through scent and taste
• Cream pies, breeding kinks, and why people find them attractive
• Accidental pregnancy stories
• Ownership, possessiveness, worship, and feeling chosen
• BDSM dynamics and core desires in sexFollow Girls Gone Deep:Instagram: @girlsgonedeeppod
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
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46 min
Pt. 1 - 3 Sluts, 3 Moods: Postpartum Sex, Polyamory & Childfree Dating (Vee & Elle - Girls Gone Deep)
Season 7, Episode 8
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Vee and Elle from the Girls Gone Deep podcast for an honest conversation about sexuality, identity, motherhood, non-monogamy, desire, dating, pleasure, and why "sluthood" has nothing to do with how much sex you're having.
Together they explore whether you can still be a slut while celibate, the difference between sex positivity and sluthood, and why owning your desires without shame is at the heart of sexual empowerment.
Topics Covered:
• Why "sluthood" is a mindset, not a body count• Sex positivity vs. sluthood• Owning sexual desires and boundaries• Polyamory and relationship de-escalation• Solo poly life and finding a new primary partner• BDSM dynamics, D/s relationships, and sexual compatibility• Playing together vs. playing separately in non-monogamous relationships• Feeling sexually satiated in long-term partnerships• Asexuality, demisexuality, and the ace spectrum• Whether you can be an asexual slut• Anonymous sex vs. sex with emotional connection• Sex parties and sex-positive communities• Building trust, safety, and desire with recurring partners• Female arousal, nervous system safety, and orgasm• Why one pregnancy can feel completely different from another• Postpartum sexuality and loss of desire• Returning to sex after giving birth• Masturbation during pregnancy and postpartum• First postpartum orgasms and sexual rediscovery• Oral sex, receiving pleasure, and people-pleasing tendencies• Why some women struggle to receive• "Real eaters" and enthusiastic oral sex partners• The psychology of receiving pleasure• The Wheel of Consent• Foreplay, full-body arousal, and erotic anticipation• Female desire and what actually creates arousal• Grinding, making out, and erotic tension• Bad kissers and sexual compatibility• What makes oral sex feel incredible• Leaving casual sex behind• Dating with intention• Childfree dating and relationship dealbreaker• Having sex on the first date• Slow burns versus instant chemistry• Building tension before sex• Boundaries, self-control, and emotional attachment• Future sexual adventures and lifestyle goals
Follow Girls Gone Deep:Instagram: @girlsgonedeeppod
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2624-alexa
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56 min
The Conversation About Porn We're Too Afraid to Have (ft. Noelle Perdue)
Season 7, Episode 7
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with porn historian, writer, and adult industry expert Noelle Perdue for a fascinating conversation about pornography, fantasy, sexuality, kink, technology, trauma, aging, relationships, and the hidden ways porn shapes our world.
Noelle shares her unlikely journey from software developer to porn scriptwriter, her work with Pornhub and the adult industry, and why she believes pornography is one of the most misunderstood cultural forces of our time.
Together, Alexa and Noelle unpack the relationship between porn and real-life sexuality, whether porn influences behavior, the myths surrounding porn addiction, the role of fantasy, kink exploration, sex education, censorship, free speech, technology, consent, and how pornography impacts legislation, culture, and online platforms.
The conversation also explores giantess fetishism, size kink culture, porn parodies, queer sexuality, healing after sexual trauma, alternative forms of intimacy, body image, aging, MILF culture, hookup communication, sex work, human trafficking misconceptions, and why people are often far more sexually diverse than they realize.
Whether you're curious about porn's role in society, interested in sexual exploration, or simply want a deeper understanding of human desire, this episode offers an honest, nuanced, and thought-provoking perspective.
Topics discussed:
• How Noelle became a porn historian• Leaving tech to write porn scripts• Writing porn parodies for major studios• Working with Brazzers and Pornhub• Pornography's influence on technology and culture• Section 230 explained• FOSTA-SESTA and online censorship• Sex work vs. human trafficking• Porn and free speech debates• Does porn affect relationships?• Porn addiction and dependency myths• Porn as a tool for exploration• Why porn should not replace sex education• Fantasy vs. reality in sexual desire• The dangers of using porn as sex ed• Giantess fetish and SizeCon• Expansion fetishes and breast expansion• Vore and consumption fantasies• Alternative forms of intimacy• Expansive definitions of sex• Communicating desires with partners• Casual sex and queer relationship dynamics• Why sexual communication matters• The popularity of MILF content• Body diversity in porn• Criticisms of pornography• The "teen" category debate• Pornography as a reflection of culture• Sexual violence and porn studies• Gooning culture explained
Follow Noelle:Instagram: @all_day_breakfast_
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
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56 min
The Ethics of Public Sex: Consent, Kink & Social Norms (ft. Tara Michaela)
Season 7, Episode 6
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Tara Michaela for a nuanced conversation about the ethics of public sex, public play, PDA, kink visibility, consent, social norms, and why society struggles to define where the line actually is.
Together they unpack whether public sexuality is inherently unethical, why people are drawn to public play and exhibitionism, the role of novelty and desire, and how context changes our perception of what's acceptable. They explore everything from making out in public, wearable vibrators, public bathrooms, sex in cars, beach hookups, PDA at parties, BDSM at Pride, leash dynamics in public spaces, sex-positive parenting, children witnessing nontraditional expressions of sexuality, consent education, sex negativity, and the difference between legality and ethics.
They also discuss whether bystanders can truly consent to what they encounter in public, how social norms shape our reactions to sexuality, why people react so strongly online, how consent is often taught as a black-and-white concept despite living in gray areas, and why intent and impact both matter in conversations about consent violations.
Topics discussed:
• public sex vs. public play
• PDA, making out, and cultural attitudes toward affection
• Why public play is exciting and appealing
• Novelty, desire, exhibitionism, and fantasy fulfillment
• Wearable vibrators and remote-control sex toys in public
• The ethics of public sexual behavior
• Consent and uninvolved bystanders
• Social norms versus personal freedom
• The difference between legality and morality
• Being the "naked neighbor" and visibility at home
• BDSM visibility in public spaces
• Kink at Pride and public kink discourse
• Walking a submissive on a leash in public
• Public conversations about sex and sexual experiences
• Elevator conversations, social etiquette, and discomfort
• Consent education and its limitations
• Intent versus impact in consent violations
• Ethical gray areas in sexuality
• Sex on the beach and secluded public spaces
• Sex in cars and privacy expectations
• Public bathrooms and ethical considerations
• PDA at parties, raves, and social gatherings
• Exhibitionism and safer alternatives
• Sex parties and kink events as consensual spaces
• Online outrage and reactions to sexual content
• How sexuality can challenge and change social normsFollow Tara:
Instagram: @yourexgirlfriendtaraFollow Alexa Andre:
Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2624-alexa
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57 min
Her Nudes Were Leaked. Now She Helps Victims Get Justice (ft. Norma Buster)
Season 7, Episode 5
Show notes
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Norma Buster, sex positive victims rights advocate, Chief of Staff at CA Goldberg Law, survivor of image-based abuse, and online sex worker, for a raw and nuanced conversation about stalking, leaked intimate images, deepfake abuse, consent, shame, sexuality, healing, OnlyFans, bisexuality, and reclaiming agency after trauma.
Topics Covered:
• Norma Buster’s experience with stalking and image-based abuse
• Why “revenge porn” is an inaccurate and harmful term
• The evolution of image-based sexual abuse laws
• Victim blaming from judges, police, and society
• Trauma, shame, and psychological impact after leaked intimate images
• CA Goldberg Law and victims rights advocacy
• The federal Take It Down Act
• Why intent-to-harm clauses make prosecutions harder
• Free speech debates surrounding image-based abuse laws
• AI deepfakes and nudifying apps
• Deepfake abuse affecting women, minors, and students
• Consent, impact vs intent, and digital privacy
• Supporting friends through stalking or abuse
• Victim vs survivor terminology and trauma identity
• Purity culture and sexual shame
• Bisexual awakening during the pandemic
• Dating couples and exploring non-monogamy
• Threesomes and alternative relationship dynamics
• Healing through sexuality and sex positivity
• Starting an OnlyFans after surviving image-based abuse
• Sex work stigma and online identity
• Reclaiming agency and personal autonomy
• Advice for survivors struggling with shame and harassmentFollow Norma Buster:Instagram: @normabuster_CA Goldberg Law: http://cagoldberglaw.com
Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa
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