Judge John Hodgman

Judge John Hodgman doesn't give advice on our show. He delivers justice. But in the Members Only Mailbag? All the advice our members desire!

This month, Bailiff Jesse Thorn and video producer Daniel Speer join the judge to advise a member about his long-distance relationship. Here's a little bit of that sage wisdom. To hear the rest, you'll have to be a MaxFun member! Join now for just $5 a month at maximumfun.org/joinjjho! It takes just a couple of minutes and you will be able to enjoy all our bonus content for HOURS!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

YIPPEE KIYAY, Judge John Lovers! Friends Katie and Mike have a dispute about the movie DIE HARD. And NO, it’s not about whether or not DIE HARD is a Christmas movie!

Katie maintains that it is completely unrealistic to expect that hero John McClane’s gun would remain strapped to his sweaty, bloody back - no matter how strong that holiday packing tape may be. Mike says it’s even MORE unrealistic to expect that the villainous Karl survived as long as he did. Will Katie’s gun evidence weigh more in her favor than Karl hanging from a chain and then reviving from the dead? Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

It’s that time of year! We’re looking for all of your Holiday-related disputes - AND RECIPES! That’s right, the Judge John Hodgman Holiday Office Party is back, and we’re counting on YOU to make it weirder than ever. Submit your most unhinged family recipes (photos appreciated) and your holiday disputes at maximumfun.org/jjho

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Are 12-foot skeletons played out? What should you do if you want to go wild with Halloween decorations but you live on a “lights out on Halloween” street? What makes a successful Halloween costume? Are all scary movies fair game for Halloween movie nights, or does the movie have to involve the holiday? Judge John Hodgman answers these questions and much more, with Bailiff Jesse Thorn and special guest Jordan Morris (Marvel’s The Amazing Venom, Free With Ads, Jordan Jesse Go)!

We’re always looking for disputes – especially from outside the non-nuclear family! Got (friendly) beef with a co-worker? Have an unresolved dispute from a housemate? A running argument within your group of friends? Submit yours here: maximumfun.org/jjho

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

We have been having a rollicking, good time in the Members Only Mailbag! As an early Halloween treat, we want to share some of our favorite letters on the main feed. Nostalgia for local tv commercials, Hearst Castle, the origins of a catch phrase, and much more! PLUS a never-before-heard chat with past guest Jamie Loftus about vegan hot dogs!

And if you want to hear more of these gems, we have over two years of Membo Mailbag episodes to catch up on. Just join Maximum Fun at maximumfun.org/joinjjho!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Is it ok to add your own items to someone else’s garage sale? Should you try to convince the one Android user in your group chat full of iPhones to make the switch? Does Gen Z need to listen to more jazz? All this and this week as we clear the docket!

We’re always looking for disputes - especially from outside the non-nuclear family! Got (friendly) beef with a co-worker? Have an unresolved dispute from a housemate? A running argument within your group of friends? Submit yours here: maximumfun.org/jjho

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

When Steve takes the dogs on a walk, he loves to give them treats on the road. But Abbey says the dogs are getting too chonky. She wants Steve to give frozen peas a chance instead. Steve says: mushy, half frozen peas are NO TREAT. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Thank you to u/Tony486 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

It's time for a new Members Only Mailbag episode! Judge John Hodgman and Producer Jennifer Marmor have so much to yap about! Here's a little bit of their chat. For the whole thing, check your bonus feed! Or, if you're not yet a member, it's so easy to join Maximum Fun! Just go to maximumfun.org/joinjjho. It takes just a minute to become a $5/month member! Once you do, you'll be able to listen to this month's episode as well as the rest of our Members Only content!

Thank you for supporting Maximum Fun and helping us keep making the show!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

It's time to clear the docket! And we have a BRAND NEW GAVEL to help! Thanks to Nick Offerman, Offerman Woodshop, and project Manager Maddy Morrison for our beautiful new gavel. This Court has never been more ready to dispense justice! What do you do with your mother-in-law’s bag of mangoes? Is it okay to talk trash while playing video games, as long as it’s to internet strangers? Plus, disputes about gavels and woodworking!

We’re still looking for all your turn-of-the-season disputes! Are you excited for football, and your housemates aren’t? Do you love going apple picking, but your family thinks it’s boring? And what about school? We’re here to solve your problems, be they small or… smaller. Submit yours at maximumfun.org/jjho.

Become a member at just $5 a month for exclusive bonus content, or join us at $10 a month for access to an AD-FREE Feed! Thank you so much for continuing to make our show possible. Join us directly here: http://maximumfun.org/joinjjho

There’s a chill in the air, which means more opportunities to wear your Judge John Hodgman branded sweatpants! Get your hats, mugs, clothing, and more, at: http://maxfunstore.com

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Leora brings the case against her husband, Sam. Sam once brought home a SURPRISE fish tank. Sam and the kids love it, but not Leora! To add insult to injury, Sam brought home two surprise shrimp - ostensibly to clean the tank. Leora wants Sam to talk to her before adding more pets to the home, but Sam says that shrimp aren’t pets - they’re part of the tank’s filtration system! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Dustin brings the case against his wife, Erin. Before they got married, Dustin agreed to watch Gilmore Girls with Erin - if SHE would read the first book in the Wheel of Time Series. Ten years later, Dustin has watched Gilmore Girls in its entirety several times. But Erin still has not read ONE Wheel of Time! Does Erin “owe” Dustin? Or is watching a cozy cute show that they both enjoy not comparable to Erin slogging through a fantasy series that has failed to hold her interest? With Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

Thank you to u/MDDad333 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at http://reddit.com/r/maximumfun!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Fresh off our Hot Dog-cket episode last week with Jamie Loftus, we can’t stop thinking about HOT DOGS! What better time is there than to bring back one of our favorite episodes of all time: AMICUS BRIEF!

Casey files suit against his friend, Sean. They go to baseball games together a lot. Casey says that Sean’s antics at the games cause great stress. One of the more appalling antics, says Casey, is the time Sean brought his own hot dogs into the stadium. Sean says that he is well within his rights to do this. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

In the time since this episode first ran, Casey started a new podcast: Dear Movies, I Love You! Casey and his co-host, Millie De Chirico, cover movie culture in the way one would talk about a crush they never got over. Film history, nuance, and criticism for all film fans! Check it out where you get your podcasts!

Thank you to Marley Jay for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Hot dog, hot dog, hot DIGGIDY DOG! We have the Hot Dog Expert of all Hot Dog Experts in chambers with us to clear an ALL-HOT DOG DOCKET! Or, a hot DOG-cket! That's right, we got JAMIE LOFTUS (RAW DOG: The Naked Truth About Hot Dogs, Sixteenth Minute, Aack Cast)! Jamie helps us advise on questions like: is ketchup ever okay on a hot dog? What about mayonnaise? Why do condiments on hot dogs provoke such strong reactions - heck, why are hot dogs themselves so polarizing? She also dives in to the history of competitive hot dog eating, the giant confetti-filled hot dog in Times Square, and tells us what actually goes down in the Wienermobile’s infamous “Meat Seat.” Open up and take a big bite of meaty justice on this episode of Judge John Hodgman!

Watch Judge John Hodgman put together Sweden's favorite hot dog, Tunnbrödsrulle, in the WERU kitchen on TikTok!

Follow Jamie on Instagram: @jamiechristsuperstar
Buy Raw Dog here: https://read.macmillan.com/lp/raw-dog-by-jamie-loftus
Pre-order Jamie’s new book The Tower here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250480422/thetower

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

What is the best way to ripen a tomato? Jay says that a tomato is best eaten straight off the vine, hot from the sun, with a little salt. His wife, Gina, says that while that sounds lovely, if they let their tomatoes ripen on the vine, the local wildlife will get to them first! She likes to pick them as they start to ripen and finish the process inside a paper bag with a banana. Jay wants her to stop being a premature picker. Gina says a bag-ripened tomato is better than no tomato at all! Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to reddit user u/FunnyFilmFan for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at http://reddit.com/r/maximumfun!

Watch the full episode on Youtube at youtube.com/@JudgeJohnHodgmanPod. Don't forget to subscribe!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Summer is almost over, which means we’re going BACK to school - Judge John Hodgman style. We’re clearing the docket of all your pressing (and not so pressing) back-to-school-related disputes: from extracurriculars to PTA conflicts, and most importantly, how to keep class supplies IN the classroom. Follow along as Judge John and Bailiff Jesse Thorn rule on cases like: should you force your daughter to take part in debate club, because she loves to debate…with you? Can PTA social gatherings be at a family-friendly brewery, or should they stick to alcohol-free (ish) locations like your local park? Is it cool to be friends with your lunch lady? And for all the teachers out there: how do you keep pencils from disappearing from your classroom? PLUS: What. Is. The Herd??? Sharpen your pencils, because there WILL be a pop quiz afterwards, on this week’s episode of Judge John Hodgman!

We need YOUR disputes to make this show! So please send us your weirdest problems, your niche drama, and your pettiest disputes for our judgment! Submit them at: https://maximumfun.org/jjho

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Dan says his fiancée, Elissa, sleeps poorly and that her bedtime laptop use is to blame! But she says playing video games on her laptop HELPS her sleep! They quiet her anxious thoughts and help her wind down. Dan wants to keep all screens out of the bed. He says, “If you bring the laptop into bed, I’M SLEEPING DOWNSTAIRS!” Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Thanks to reddit user u/spinynorman82 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at http://reddit.com/r/maximumfun!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Natalie brings the case against her boyfriend, Mike. Mike has been living the Sharper Image dream for the last 12 years: his own in-home massage chair! It’s not just a source of relaxation for him. Mike says it’s a fun piece that makes visiting their home a unique experience! But Natalie doesn’t want their home to offer guests a unique experience. She wants their guests to have a comfortable seat that doesn’t need to be turned on to enjoy. It’s time to let the chair go. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Thanks to reddit user u/acone419 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at http://reddit.com/r/maximumfun!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

If you win "Best Feature" at a film festival, but the festival doesn't give you a trophy, can you make your own trophy? Or is that too cringe? Spouses and filmmakers Kaye and Mariel disagree! Their film THE REBRAND (trailer here) won several film festival awards! But most of the festival organizations did not provide trophies, or any physical representation of the win for that matter. Kaye wants to design and 3-D print her own trophies to commemorate the occasion, and to serve as a reminder that "they like her They really like her!" But, while Mariel is proud of the work they have done and the awards they received, she's also trying to rely less on external validation. Who's right? Who's wrong?

If you want to check out the Obscure Cultural Reference, tap here! Thanks to reddit user u/dihydrogenmonoxidesoup for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at http://reddit.com/r/maximumfun!

Thanks to Christian Duguay for letting us close the show with "Frisbee Golf (The Legend Of Tom Clutch)" by Cephalopods Are People! Make sure to check out the Valley Heat podcast if you haven't already. Start at episode 1 and enjoy the ride that is this hilarious show!

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

VROOM VROOM! Buckle your seatbelts and pile in our station wagon, because this week’s episode is all about ROAD TRIPS! From passenger etiquette to divvying up the driving duties, we’re covering any and all disputes related to car travel. Should you divide up driving duties by hour or by mile? Which is the better way to road trip: getting to your destination faster or stopping and enjoying the sights - and potential ice cream - along the way? And when you’re a passenger, should you point out the sights along the road, or shut up and let the driver concentrate? Plus, the weirdest game of the classic road trip game, 20 questions!

Getting ready for your own road trip? We have a playlist for that! Tap here for hours of JJHo classics, sure to keep everyone entertained!

We need YOUR disputes to make this show! So please send us your hottest takes, unresolved arguments, and everything in between for our judgment! Submit them at http://maximumfun.org/jjho!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

Andie is tired of James leaving breakable items in peril! He plates, microwave dishes full of hot food, and even his ipad hanging on the edge of their countertops and tables. James says it’s easier to pick up items when they are not flush with the surface. But it stresses Andie out! She’s worried one errant hip bump will send all the hot food flying. James argues that saving a plate from crashing to the floor is the ULTIMATE thrill. Who's right?

Thanks to reddit user u/banjo_solo for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at http://reddit.com/r/maximumfun!

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!

It’s summertime, so we’re opening the member mailbag! We’ve pulled the greatest hits from our Members Only Mailbag, to give you a taste of the unfiltered JUSTICE that our members get every month. In this episode, we talk about: picking up critters in the wild, state birds, cutting a sandwich, and goth parts of Los Angeles. Plus, a classic dispute of night owl versus early bird... and hanging drywall? Judge John Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse Thorn, and Producer Jennifer Marmor (aka the J Squad) weigh in on all these issues and more!

Love the mailbag, and want to weigh in each month? Become a member at just $5 a month for exclusive bonus content, or join us at $10 a month for access to an AD-FREE Feed! Thank you so much for continuing to make our show possible. Join us directly here: http://maximumfun.org/joinjjho

Remember, we need YOUR disputes to make this show! So please send us your pettiest partner fights, your most unhinged sibling drama, and all the friendship mess that your fingers can type. Submit them at: https://maximumfun.org/jjho/

---

Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes and more. Memberships start at just $5 a month. Just tap here!