Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

I got to chat with Dr. Jill Biden about: the first draft of her memoir View from the East Wing; her new job and her forever love of teaching; her early family life; grieving, processing anger, and attempting forgiveness; caregiving and aging; and moments of divine intervention. Plus, the books she’s been reading and loving lately, and the one she recommends to people going through it.

For the show notes, go to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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In October’s solo episode, I’m sharing what I’ve read this month (including the rare novel, which I loved!), and what’s inspiring my latest attempts to resist the compulsion to overwork. I’m also sharing my takes on some things that are happening now in the media landscape: changes that YouTube has made, ways we measure our value, what this means for how we create meaning, the next cycle that’s going to crash, and how to avoid getting totally mucked up by algorithmic forces.

To see the show notes and my newsletter, to register for upcoming events with me, and to join our growing community for more—head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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“Globally, across many cultures, across the lifespan, many people have a deep mistrust of joy and other positive emotions for different reasons,” says psychologist, teacher, and author Kelly McGonigal, PhD. In her new book, Joy Is a Risk Worth Taking, she shares the research that’s shaped her approach to joy as a pessimist. It’s the best case for joy as a moral obligation that I’ve heard. But whether you see joy as frivolous or meaningful—whether you find it easy or challenging to feel, show, or seek joy—I think her way of seeing joy can bring more of it into all of our lives.

For the show notes, including a link to that space for sharing joy we talk about toward the end of the conversation, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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“ I was raised in a culture that says it’s cooler and it's smarter to say this is just a material, senseless, random world where atoms are bouncing off of each other, and there's no meaning or order or divine wink to any of it,” says psychiatrist Ellen Vora, MD. “I was missing that charm and that joy of, mmm, feels like something's happening here. I don't know what, but it feels like something is—and that gives me an immense amount of meaning and intrigue.” Today I’m talking to Ellen about her new book Season of the Witch, and how she came to think about the rational and intuitive parts of herself, our understanding of the left and right hemispheres of the brain, and where our skepticism often comes from. Ellen shares how, now, she’s helping people to reconnect to their own intuition, and to stay intact and open up to what—personally—brings them great joy and meaning.

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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In her private therapy practice, renowned psychoanalyst Galit Atlas, PhD, has identified six archetypes that shape our intimate relationships as adults. She says that every adult carries one of these archetypes with them, and that usually we carry more than one. She’s named them: the frightened child, the melancholic child, the ashamed child, the invisible child, the guilty child (I identify big-time with this one), and the chosen child. Today, we talk through these archetypes as Galit brings us into the therapy room and shares some incredibly resonant stories from her work with her patients. After you listen, I also highly recommend reading her new book, Come Closer: Childhood Wounds, Adult Love, and the Secrets of Emotional Intimacy.

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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“The alchemy pathway brings back synchronicity, unity, harmony to all of these different parts of self,” says psychic medium Carissa Schumacher. Her book—The Alchemy Transmissions: A Pathway to Miracles—is out this week, and it’s a series of transmissions she channeled from Yeshua (Jesus)! Today, we’re talking about what else this pathway might offer us, how to navigate the new era that we’re in, how to become more consciously mature, and how to step more deeply into your own unique essence.

For the show notes (including a link to Carissa’s 92nd Street Y event on October 3, which you can stream), head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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It’s just me today, sharing an update on my next surgery (I’m still doing well!), and reflecting on something that someone shared with me at a book event a few weeks ago. It got me thinking about how our gifts are emergent; they show up at different times in our lives, and in different ways. And sometimes, we’re being called to simply be present. I’m also starting to reflect back on the last seven-year cycle (more about why in the episode), and hope you’ll join me in thinking about who you were, too, in the fall of 2019.

To see the show notes and my newsletter, to register for upcoming events with me, and to join our growing community for more—head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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“Feeling is really the core of consciousness,” says Antonio Damasio, MD, PhD. “And it's giving you information about what it is like to be alive, and how your life is going, and what you need to do about it.” Damasio is the director of the Brain and Creativity Institute at the University of Southern California and the author of several books including, his latest, Natural Intelligence & the Logic of Consciousness. Today, he shares his beautiful explanation of this kind of feeling, along with his reflections on spirituality and the sublime.

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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In their brilliant new book—End Times Fascism: And the Fight for the Living World—Naomi Klein and Astra Taylor uncover the varied threads that have given birth to an apocalyptic, survivalist alliance of power that seems intent on…ending us. And they share an arguably more appealing, enjoyable path to breaking the doom loop and—rooted in what they call here-ness—figuring out a new way to live in our profound world, now. It’s such a treat to have them both on the podcast today!

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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Richard Christiansen is the founder of Flamingo Estate and a dear pal of mine. Today, we’re talking (in part) about the stories that led to his new book, Flamingo Estate Pleasure Principles. We get into: our love of witches, why Richard thinks we’re experiencing a crisis of beauty (and what he does about it), the concept of a victory garden, the unexpected provenance of things like the California naval orange, and his take on chasing pleasure.

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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“ It’s just incredibly hard to really resist these forces that are, you know, probably from evolution, that we adapt to our circumstances,” says psychologist Angela Duckworth, PhD. “But once you have that insight, then you realize that you do have to shape your circumstances before they shape you.” In her new book Situated, Duckworth (who wrote the #1 New York Times bestseller Grit) reveals the often hidden ways that situational elements affect us, and she maps out optimistic strategies for sometimes changing our environment and sometimes improving the situations in our lives. In our conversation, she also shares some funny and enlightening psychology findings that help explain why we can be so different across different settings, and why our expectations of ourselves are socially determined. And toward the end, she offers an alternative approach to effortfully pursuing our goals—which does not involve suffering, and which is actually more effective (go figure!).

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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This month’s solo episode is mostly about what I think will come of all the AI generation, the fabrication of viral moments, and the latest iteration of marketing that we’re starting to see through. And why I think where we’re headed is mostly good for us. I’m also answering questions about how I personally use AI, as well as why I chose to move from Substack to Beehiv, and some little quirky things I’m hosting that you can join. But first, I’ll share a quick (positive!) health update, and what I’ve learned from Dr. Lucy McBride about how we tend to fall into different patient archetypes.

For the show notes and more details about the events and such I mention, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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“ I think these resources are good because it gives you the language and the tools to do something that doesn’t necessarily feel right,” says Stephanie Wittels Wachs, author of Last Day. Steph also hosts a podcast by the same name and is the cofounder and CEO of Lemonada Media (the podcast network I’ve been with for the last year or so). I’m so grateful to Steph for sharing a more nuanced and compassionate perspective on addiction, and for creating a vital guide for living with addiction, for connecting with loved ones who have this disease, for saving more lives—and for evolving our culture more broadly, which is so needed. Also for the warmth and humor with which Steph does this all!

I’ve covered addiction a lot on Pulling the Thread, so I’m compiling all the resources (including Steph’s book) in the show notes on my site: http://eliseloehnen.com/.

Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool, at http://monarch.com/ with code THREAD.

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Chloe Redmond Warner is a very talented interior designer—and one of my closest childhood friends. To celebrate the launch of her special book This Must Be the Place, which is about how to design a home with personality, I got to interview Chloe at Godmothers bookstore. This episode is adapted from our live conversation, in which Chloe is her usual hilarious and brilliant self. She shares some of the fun house projects she’s done over the years, including one named Little Women on Acid. We talk about the value of aesthetic intelligence; Chloe’s process of making a house feel like a home; why she forced herself to finish her degree in architecture from Harvard’s Graduate School of Design; and her theory regarding the equalness of art, architecture, and decoration.

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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David Epstein is a journalist and the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Inside the Box (which we’re talking about today), Range, and The Sports Gene. He tells some fascinating stories that he uncovered during his research that challenge or complicate a lot of cultural perceptions about: freedom (often, sadly, the death knell of creativity!), originality and innovation (turns out there is an optimal level of newness), famous moments of insight and breakthrough (these surprised me), and the relationship between constraints and personal satisfaction (might surprise you).

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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Claude Steele is a social psychologist, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, and the author of Churn: The Tension That Divides Us and How to Overcome It. Churn refers to the stress we often feel in diverse settings in everyday life; it’s the psychological reaction to being under identity threat—which is something we can all experience based on any myriad number of identity factors. Steele explains how churn can be an insidious and debilitating force in our personal lives, and he explains why the most effective way to approach churn is by building trust in a given situation. (While obviously Steele isn’t in support of prejudices of any kind, he doesn’t think the antidote here is to eliminate prejudice—and I think you’ll find his reasoning interesting.)

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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If you’ve been tuning into July’s special series of sorts, thank you, and I hope you’ve also been enjoying revisiting these conversations from the archives, or maybe you’re discovering them for the first time. Today, we have a big one with Jungian analyst James Hollis, PhD, who is the author of many, many books that are incredibly meaningful to me. And this conversation still lives up to how much I love his work. I actually cried at one point during our chat, which more or less revolves around how we go about finding our soul’s vocation.

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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I’m thrilled to be back on the podcast mic again—I’ve been healing from a double mastectomy and I’m doing well! Thank you to everyone who has been thinking of me. This update covers: the surgery experience, the energy healers and lymphatic masseuse I’ve been working with, a few essential things I bought for the recovery phase, something my friends did that was a huge help, and the mini revelations that have come to me during this sabbatical of sorts. I’m sharing a bit from the Omega retreat that I hosted with Satya Doyle Byock, a Jung story that set me straight, synchronicities from an oracle deck that I love, and what I’m up to next—now that I’ve realized I cannot out-robot the robots.

For the show notes—including the healer guide—head to http://eliseloehnen.com/ (my new site is finally live!).

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This special episode initially ran early in 2025 but I wanted to bump it up for those of you who missed it and also because I honestly think Richard Rohr is worthy of a re-listen. If you’re not already familiar with Richard Rohr, he’s a wonderful Franciscan friar, the founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation, and one of my most profound teachers. I really loved and highly recommend his book The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for an Age of Outrage. In this conversation, he helps us to make sense of disorder, evil, anger, and grief—while also helping us to truly grow.

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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Gabor Maté, MD, is renowned for his work on addiction, stress, trauma, and understanding and healing from illness. He has written several books, including The Myth of Normal. As part of a special series of sorts this month, I’m turning back to a conversation I had with him a few years ago about his perspective on the relationship between how we live, the culture we live in, and our health.

For the show notes, head to http://eliseloehnen.com/.

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