The OptimalWork Podcast

#324: Trying harder to concentrate can leave you tense, frustrated, and just as distracted. Kevin and Sharif explore a different approach: strengthening the meaning behind your work. Drawing on Aquinas and connections Kevin proposes with modern neuroscience, they explain why intensity involves repeatedly returning your attention to what matters, how hyperfocus can carry you away from your purpose, and why ideals like being encouraging can bring you more fully into the present moment. The conversation offers a practical way to approach your next task: clarify whom you’re serving and how you want to serve them.

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#323: Two people can do equally excellent work—and be changed by it in completely different ways. What makes the difference? Kevin and Sharif explore how bringing love into a task transforms more than its outcome: it shapes the person doing it. Drawing on Aquinas’s account of prudence, they reveal why order means far more than organizing your desk or checking off tasks. A simple question—“Who is this for?”—can turn ordinary work into a daily practice of love, strengthening your capacity to serve others both at work and at home.

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#322: A great plan can end with nothing changing. Kevin and Sharif explore the missing link between knowing what to do and actually doing it: command, the culminating act of prudence. Drawing on Aquinas, they distinguish three ways good intentions break down—never truly deciding, failing to start, and retreating when difficulties arise. They show how three questions can strengthen follow-through: Who will this benefit? What would excellence look like? What’s the hardest part? Along the way, they explain why love produces readiness to act—and how coaches can encourage growth without taking over.

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#321: AI can produce better work in seconds—but what happens to the person doing the work? Kevin and Sharif explore the hidden cost of outsourcing challenges that build skill, judgment, and character. Drawing on Aquinas’s distinction between making and doing, they examine what separates AI assistance that supports growth from shortcuts that bypass it. From student essays to professional work, they show how AI can help people reflect, weigh options, and engage difficult tasks while preserving the thinking, choices, and effort through which they grow.

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#320: What turns “I have to do this” into “I want to do this”—especially when the task is difficult? Kevin and Sharif explore how deeper judgment transforms an apparent loss into a worthwhile cost, and then into an opportunity to grow and serve others. From the pull of doomscrolling to the awkwardness of a difficult conversation, they show how urgency can bypass thoughtful decisions—and how reframing helps us see something worth choosing. Drawing on Aquinas’s account of prudence, they explain how to bring our highest ideals into everyday work, making the best path more attractive.

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#319: Fear can make a difficulty seem insurmountable; desire can make getting what we want seem like all that matters. Kevin and Sharif explore how both can distort understanding and turn careful reasoning into rationalization. Drawing on Aquinas’s account of prudence, they connect everyday choices—from buying a car to putting off important work—to three questions that help restore perspective: Whose good is being served? What’s the hardest part? And what would real excellence look like here?

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#318: How do people make good decisions without getting trapped by their first impression? Sharif and Kevin explore the first act of prudence—counsel—and why clear thinking begins with making genuine contact with reality. They unpack the role of intuition, experience, memory, and advice, while showing how anxiety and desire can turn an initial hunch into premature certainty. Kevin explains why strong intuition should be a starting point rather than a conclusion, and offers a practical question from Daniel Kahneman that can expose hidden assumptions, reopen curiosity, and help people see options they may have missed.

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#317: In this episode, Sharif and Kevin explore prudence as the virtue behind good decision-making — not simply knowing what to do, but discerning what truly serves the people entrusted to us and then putting that decision into action. Drawing on Augustine’s definition of prudence as “love rightly discerning what helps or hinders the beloved,” Kevin breaks prudence into three practical movements: counsel, judgment, and command. Along the way, they examine why premature certainty, rushed solutions, and good intentions without concrete action can derail even thoughtful decisions, and offer a simple practice for identifying where one’s own decision-making tends to break down.

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#316: Dr. John Gottman identifies four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and ultimately contempt. Each of these reflects a deeper issue— a lack of humility. In this episode, we delve into the third stage: stonewalling. Stonewalling means putting up obstacles to forming bonds with others. While defensiveness and criticism most concern one’s attitude, stonewalling goes deeper and touches upon one’s attention. Stonewalling at its most extreme implies an inward collapse of attention, an unwillingness to attend to others.

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#315: Dr. John Gottman identifies four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and ultimately contempt. Each of these reflects a deeper issue— a lack of humility. In this episode, we delve into the second stage: criticism, or what we call a critical spirit. A critical spirit often arises from hyperfocusing on someone else’s flaws, conflating those flaws with their identity, and viewing them as fixed and unchangeable. It can also serve as a kind of projection—an unconscious act of attributing our own shortcomings to others. Recognizing a critical spirit within ourselves, however uncomfortable, can open the door to profound personal growth. By addressing the root of this behavior, we not only improve our relationships but also cultivate greater humility and self-awareness.

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#314: Dr. John Gottman describes four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: first defensiveness, then criticism, then stonewalling, and finally contempt. Each of these is a manifestation of a lack of humility. Having laid out the big picture in our previous episode, here we do a deep dive into the first, defensiveness. We explain how it arises and how it relates to key concepts in our approach, like Reframing, Growth Mindset, and Threat Mode.

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#313: In this episode of the OptimalWork Podcast, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres delve into the significance of humility in leadership and team dynamics. They explore the concept of humble leadership, the detrimental effects of pride, and the four horsemen of team dysfunction: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and contempt. The conversation emphasizes the importance of cultivating humility as a means to foster better relationships, enhance team cohesion, and promote personal growth. The episode concludes with actionable steps for developing humility and the transformative power it holds in achieving mastery in various aspects of life.

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#312: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the concept of Extreme Ownership, as introduced and developed by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. Willink and Babin learned this concept from their time serving as Navy Seals and have gained popularity adapting it to other contexts, like business and relationships. In this conversation, Sharif and Dr. Majeres discuss the nuances of this approach, and share applications to challenges faced in various contexts, from the classroom to the boardroom.

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#311: In this installment of our series on mastery, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the third and final stage: the optimizing stage. The optimizing stage of mastery has deep connections to other core concepts of OptimalWork like deliberate practice, continual growth, and above all service. In the optimizing stage, we can go beyond the automaticity characteristic of the implicit stage (stage two) and develop our mastery to such a degree that we can pour our entire selves into a task. In this way, the optimizing stage of mastery is also connected to flow, the state of peak focus, when we become, as it were, fused with the present task.

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#310: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the second of the three phases of mastery: the implicit phase of mastery. This phase is the most dangerous, because it is where bad actions can become automatic habits, and where good habits can become plateaus. Fortunately, there are ways to avoid these pitfalls. The implicit phase of mastery is also closely connected with flow. The next episode will cover the final stage of mastery: optimizing strategies.

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#309: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres delve into the concept of mastery, focusing on its explicit phase. Broadly, mastery has three forms: mastery over a technical skill, self-mastery, and mastery in the context of bonds. For all these forms, crafting a strategy (a goal plus steps) is essential to developing explicit mastery. As you develop explicit mastery, you can harness dopamine to maintain motivation by setting appropriate micro-goals to complete as you carry out your strategy.

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#308: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore the concept of mastery, its relationship to service, and the neuroscience behind it. We can distinguish between three stages of mastery: explicit, implicit, and optimizing. Ultimately, mastery is not just about raw technical skills, but about putting these skills to the service of higher ideals and ultimately our bonds with others.

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#307: Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres delve into the significance of breath in regulation attention and managing anxiety. One of the most interesting advances in the understanding of breath is the discovery of the oxygen paradox: breathing too much can actually reduce the amount of oxygen that reaches your brain. Breathing, mood, nutrition, attention, and activity are all interrelated. Understanding the relationship between breathing, oxygen, and carbon dioxide shows just how transformative proper breathing techniques can be.

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#306: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the importance of learning how to self-regulate your attention. We often try to address distraction and worrying — two common obstacles relating to attention — by re-arranging our external circumstances, changing aspects of our lives. This can be helpful and even necessary at times. But to get the best results, it is also important to focus on the internals, on our own capacity to focus our attention. This capacity is like a muscle that we can strengthen over time with the right exercises.

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#305: In this episode, Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif discuss the importance of attention for working at your best. Understanding how your attention works — especially the dynamic between task attention and default attention — can help you improve how you both rest and work. Some may think that focus is a matter of brute force and self-discipline, or of simply arranging your environment. But the understanding of attention explored here points to deeper strategies that we can use to master our attention and shape ourselves in the process.

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