Unhooked: Breaking Porn Addiction Podcast

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

What happens when you finally quit porn, but the shame, secrecy, and distance in your relationship are still there?

For many men, quitting porn feels like the finish line. Stop watching, stay consistent, and everything else should eventually fall into place.

But I've seen how much more complicated recovery can be.

Porn often becomes a way to escape uncomfortable feelings. Stress, loneliness, insecurity, or simply not wanting to deal with what's happening in our lives. And when that habit starts affecting a relationship, the consequences don't necessarily disappear just because the behavior stops.

In this special reshare from Relationship Renovation, I join couples therapists Tarah and EJ Kerwin to explore what genuine recovery looks like, especially when trust and intimacy have been affected.

We talk about why porn use can become compulsive, what keeps people trapped in cycles of shame, and how to begin making changes that go deeper than maintaining a streak.

In this episode, we explore:

• How to recognize when porn use has moved beyond occasional pleasure and become a way of avoiding difficult emotions
• Why constant novelty and unrealistic sexual expectations can create challenges with attraction and intimacy in real relationships
• How to use the RAIN mindfulness practice to recognize cravings, allow uncomfortable feelings, investigate what's underneath them, and respond with greater self-compassion
• Why couples need honest conversations about boundaries and broken agreements rather than assuming they share the same expectations around pornography
• How accountability and emotional awareness help rebuild self-respect while creating space for healthier relationships

One of the most important things I've learned is that recovery isn't just about what you stop doing. It's about how you learn to show up for yourself and the people you care about.

If you've been working hard to quit porn but still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns, I hope this conversation helps you see what the next part of recovery can look like.

Timestamps

00:00 Opening: Understanding Porn Addiction

01:20 Jeremy Introduces the Relationship Renovation Reshare

03:23 Unhooked Podcast Introduction

04:03 Relationship Renovation Introduces the Conversation

05:59 Jeremy's Personal Experience With Porn Addiction

06:57 Recognizing the Impact of Porn

07:56 How Porn Affects Attraction and Intimacy

11:14 When Does Porn Use Become an Addiction?

13:23 The Wake-Up Call That Changed Jeremy's Life

16:03 Discovering Mindfulness and Buddhist Philosophy

18:41 Why Porn Is Often an Emotional Coping Mechanism

21:24 The Accessibility of Porn and Its Effects on Relationships

25:00 Shame, Secrecy, and the Addiction Cycle

29:10 How Meditation Helps You Regain Control

31:53 Why Sobriety Isn't the Same as Recovery

33:03 Understanding Your Default Future

38:11 Introducing the RAIN Mindfulness Practice

39:13 Using RAIN to Work With Cravings

41:20 Getting on the Same Page With Your Partner

42:58 Why Recovery Must Be Your Own Choice

43:23 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn

45:49 Advice for Men and Their Partners

46:23 Finding Support Without Shame

47:38 Why Your Partner's Porn Use Isn't Necessarily About You

50:47 Why Opening Up Gets Easier With Practice

51:24 Where to Find Jeremy and Unhooked Academy

52:48 Jeremy's Closing Message

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co/

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

What if the freedom you're looking for isn't just about quitting porn, but reaching a point where you no longer feel the need to turn to it?

For years, I was chasing happiness in all the places I thought I was supposed to find it. Success, relationships, sex, pleasure. On the outside, things seemed to be going well. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction and a growing sense that something was missing.

I remember reaching a point in college when I started questioning everything. If I was getting the things I wanted, why wasn't I happy? And if I kept living this way, would I ever be?

That question eventually led me to meditation, Buddhist philosophy, and a completely different understanding of what it means to live a fulfilling life.

In this special reshare from Thriving with Addiction, I join host Dr. John Avery to talk about that journey, the role shame played in keeping my struggles hidden, and what I've learned about genuine freedom in recovery.

In this episode, we explore:

• How early experiences of sexual shame can teach us to hide behaviors rather than understand them, creating patterns that follow us into adulthood
• Why addressing the underlying craving for relief matters more than focusing exclusively on porn or any single addictive behavior
• What years of silent meditation retreats taught me about experiencing uncomfortable emotions without immediately escaping them
• Why finding a nonjudgmental community can be more effective than relying on motivation alone, especially when the initial excitement of quitting wears off
• What Buddhists call the bliss of blamelessness, and why living without secrecy can bring a deeper sense of peace than simply maintaining a streak

One of the most encouraging things I've experienced is that recovery doesn't have to feel like an endless fight. With time and practice, the urges that once seemed impossible to resist can become less frequent and easier to navigate.

If you're somewhere on that journey, I hope this conversation reminds you that there's more to recovery than just stopping a behavior. There's an entire life waiting to be lived.

Timestamps

00:00 Opening: How Shame and Addiction Begin

01:15 Introducing the Conversation With Dr. John Avery

02:20 The Unhooked App

03:14 Unhooked Podcast Introduction

03:53 Dr. John Avery Introduces Jeremy

04:35 Jeremy's Life in Thailand

05:21 How My Porn Addiction Started

07:06 Why Porn Became an Emotional Escape

09:00 Sexual Shame and Mixed Messages

10:11 Understanding the Root of Addiction

11:33 The Moment I Questioned My Happiness

13:17 How Buddhist Philosophy Changed My Perspective

15:23 Silent Retreats and Becoming a Buddhist Monk

17:33 Learning to Work With Cravings

19:47 Breaking the Silence Around Porn Addiction

21:54 The First Time I Publicly Shared My Story

24:30 Talking About Pornography and Children

26:16 Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation

27:53 Rebuilding Relationships and Intimacy

29:15 Why Community Matters in Recovery

31:39 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn

34:15 Inside Unhooked Academy

35:05 Why Shame Keeps Addiction Alive

36:24 Closing Thoughts

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

This conversation originally aired on Thriving with Addiction.

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co/

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it.

You've decided to quit porn. You're feeling motivated, you've set your goals, and you're ready to change. But then an urge hits, and suddenly all that determination feels a lot harder to hold on to.

What do you actually do in that moment?

In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I break down eight practical strategies for dealing with cravings, including how to make urges less likely to arise and what to do when they show up anyway.

One of the biggest mistakes people make in recovery is relying entirely on willpower. But lasting change isn't about fighting every urge that comes your way. It's about creating an environment that supports your goals while developing the ability to experience cravings without automatically acting on them.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How to identify your personal triggers and change the routines that keep pulling you back toward porn
• Why simple changes to your environment, including where you keep your phone, can make recovery easier
• How mindfulness creates space between experiencing an urge and choosing what to do next
• What urge surfing is and how to practice it without fighting or suppressing your cravings
• When to use physical movement, cold showers, or support from another person to get through a difficult moment

The goal isn't to spend the rest of your life avoiding temptation. It's to build the freedom to choose how you respond, even when an urge is strong.

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

What happens when something you turn to for pleasure slowly starts shaping the way you see yourself, your relationships, and the world around you?

In this reshare from Wake Up with Marci, I sit down with Marci Hopkins to share a part of my own story that changed the direction of my life.

On the outside, things were going well. I had good grades, friends, and plenty of opportunities ahead of me. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction, constantly chasing pleasure, and becoming increasingly dissatisfied with what I already had.

Then one day, walking down the street in my early twenties, I had a realization that scared me. I could suddenly see the kind of man I was becoming, and I knew I didn't want that future.

That moment led me to question everything I thought I knew about happiness, fulfillment, and what it actually means to be free.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why porn can be especially difficult to quit, including the three factors that make it so accessible and habit-forming
• How to recognize the difference between toxic shame that keeps you hiding and healthy remorse that helps you change
• What I learned about happiness and neuroplasticity through Buddhist philosophy, and how it changed my approach to recovery
• Why trying to empty your mind during meditation can actually reinforce self-judgment, and what to practice instead
• What partners often misunderstand about porn addiction, and why understanding the behavior doesn't mean excusing the harm it causes

If you've ever wondered why changing a behavior can feel so difficult, or why getting what you want doesn't always make you happy, I think you'll find something valuable in this conversation.

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co/

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Timestamps:

00:00 Jeremy's Story: When Porn Addiction Became a Problem

03:32 Welcome to Wake Up with Marci

05:36 How Jeremy's Porn Addiction Started

08:00 When Porn Began Taking Over His Mind

10:00 The Moment Jeremy Saw Where His Addiction Was Taking Him

12:16 Porn, Alcohol, and Other Forms of Escape16:52 How Porn Changed the Way Jeremy Viewed Women

20:06 When Does Porn Become a Problem?

22:29 The Three A's of Porn Addiction

24:32 Why Porn Can Be So Difficult to Quit

25:45 Understanding the Shame Cycle

29:22 Healthy Shame vs. Toxic Shame

31:27 Moral Shame and Moral Dread

33:19 Trauma, Insecurity, and Filling the Void

35:58 Searching for a Different Kind of Happiness

38:25 How Buddhism and Neuroplasticity Changed Jeremy's Life

41:22 Mindfulness, Meditation, and Recovery

43:51 Meditation as a Gym for the Mind

46:18 Why Meditation Isn't About Clearing Your Mind

47:13 Recovery Is More Than Sobriety

49:10 How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life

52:16 How to Start Meditating

53:03 Building a Practice of Gratitude

55:34 What Partners of Porn Addicts Need to Know

57:35 Porn Addiction as a Coping Mechanism

58:31 Where to Find Jeremy

59:06 You're Not Alone

01:01:29 Jeremy's Closing Message

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

In this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Ben Brown, host of The Shift podcast, to talk about his journey from years of compulsive sex, porn, validation-seeking, alcohol, and drugs into a life of recovery, purpose, and transformation.

Ben shares what his life looked like before recovery, including the constant pursuit of women, escalating porn use, partying, and the feeling that he was becoming someone he thought he needed to be.

We talk about the moments that finally made him realize something wasn't right, including a chance encounter with a stranger who told him how sex addiction had destroyed his life, and the experience that finally pushed Ben to walk into a recovery room.

We also get into what actually helped him change: community, mentors, faith, willpower, small daily habits, and finding something meaningful to put his energy into.

And Ben shares one of the biggest lessons from his recovery: you are not exempt. No matter how much shame you carry or how far gone you think you are, you can still change your life.

In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why addiction can become a way of escaping discomfort and seeking validation
- What finally pushed Ben to seek recovery after years of compulsive behavior
- Why willpower can help in the early stages but isn't enough for long-term recovery
- How small daily wins can build momentum and create lasting change
- Why finding a “mountain to climb” can help redirect sexual and creative energy into something meaningful

Recovery doesn't happen all at once. Sometimes it starts with one small decision, one mentor, one meeting, or simply taking the first step.

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Connect with Ben

Ben Brown / The Shift Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-shift-a-podcast-with-ben-brown/id1887649490

Instagram: @benbrown3000 https://www.instagram.com/benbrown3000/

YouTube: The Shift Podcast with Ben Brown https://www.youtube.com/@theshiftpodcastwithbenbrown

Website: The Shift with Ben Brown https://www.theshiftwithbenbrown.com/

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

What if stopping porn isn't actually the thing that creates lasting recovery?

In this episode of Unhooked, I’m resharing a conversation I had on Sam’s Healing Podcast about porn addiction, recovery, and what it really takes to build lasting freedom.

We talk about why porn itself is often not the underlying problem, but instead a way of escaping uncomfortable emotions, stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, or other difficult experiences. I also explain why simply chasing a streak or practicing sobriety without doing the deeper inner work can leave the underlying issues untouched.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- Why sobriety alone isn't the same as recovery and why the underlying reasons behind the behavior matter
- How porn can become a coping mechanism for stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, and other uncomfortable emotions
- Why I describe meditation as strength training for the mind and how it can help build greater awareness and self-control
- How the Reset → Rewire → Rebuild → Restore framework supports lasting transformation
- Why learning to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it is an essential part of creating real freedom

If you're early in recovery and looking for a clear, grounded overview of what this work actually involves, this is a good place to start.

Ready to start your recovery?

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Timestamps:

00:00 Why Sobriety Isn’t Recovery

02:59 Welcome to Unhooked

03:37 Introducing Jeremy and Unhooked

04:47 Why I Created Unhooked

06:02 Why Do We Get Hooked on Porn?

09:05 Why Sobriety Alone Isn’t Enough

11:09 Cross-Addictions and Replacing Unhealthy Habits

12:29 Meditation as Strength Training for the Mind

15:23 Different Types of Meditation

17:01 How to Let Go of the Performance Mindset

18:22 Why a Structured Meditation Practice Matters

20:04 The Four Phases of Recovery

21:28 Reset: Getting Clear on Where You’re Going

23:32 Rewire: Using Neuroplasticity for Change

25:04 Rebuild: Changing Your Environment and Habits

26:59 Restore: Building a Life of Fulfillment

28:42 Solitude vs. Isolation

30:14 Why We Run From Unpleasant Experiences

31:56 Learning to Sit With Discomfort

32:56 Why You Have to Take Ownership of Your Recovery

34:21 Can You Really Break Free?

36:27 Where to Learn More About Unhooked

37:21 Sam’s Closing Thoughts

37:56 Final Thoughts

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

What does it actually take to heal after infidelity, and why does defensiveness make rebuilding trust so difficult?

In this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Sam from Sam's Healing Podcast to talk about infidelity, addiction, and what real recovery looks like after betrayal.

Sam shares his own journey after an affair that turned his life upside down. We talk about why radical honesty is the first step toward healing, how defensiveness gets in the way of rebuilding trust, and why taking ownership of your actions matters so much.

We also explore how childhood wounds can shape destructive coping patterns, the role of community and mentorship in recovery, and why healing looks different for every person and relationship.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- Why radical honesty is the first step in recovery
- How defensiveness and blame-shifting get in the way of healing
- The difference between guilt and shame
- Why self-acceptance and accountability go hand in hand
- What recovery looks like for both the unfaithful and betrayed partner
- Why healing takes time and what makes rebuilding trust possible

If you're navigating addiction, infidelity, or the difficult process of rebuilding trust after betrayal, this conversation is for you.

Ready to start your recovery?

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Connect with Sam:

Sam's Healing Podcast on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast and podcast platforms https://www.samshealingpodcast.com/

Timestamps:

00:00 Sam's story of despair and recovery

01:39 Episode introduction

03:32 Welcome to Unhooked

04:24 Sam's journey into recovery

08:44 Why radical honesty is the first step

12:53 Becoming a student of recovery and finding support

19:48 Understanding childhood wounds and the roots of addiction

24:08 The turning point: Feeling worthy of love

30:04 Self-acceptance and doing the next right thing

35:33 Balancing self-acceptance with personal growth

40:27 Why people become defensive in recovery

41:56 Shame, guilt, and taking responsibility

45:46 What healing looks like for the betrayed partner

49:59 How long does healing after infidelity take?

52:38 Can couples truly heal after infidelity?

55:34 Where to find Sam

56:57 Closing thoughts

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Interested in the Unhooked App? Join the waitlist here:
https://unhookedapp.co/

Jeremy Lipkowitz reshared his appearance on The Therapy Brothers podcast, where Brendan and Tyler Patrick interview him about how meditation and mindfulness can support recovery. Jeremy explains why mindfulness does not have to conflict with religious faith, and why it is better understood as a practical way to train attention, awareness, and intentional choice. He breaks down the space between stimulus and response and how learning to access that space can help interrupt automatic reactions like craving, anger, fear, and judgment. The conversation also explores neuroplasticity and Jeremy’s “meadow” analogy for how repeated thoughts and behaviors strengthen mental pathways over time. They unpack the meaning of equanimity, why groundedness matters when facing both discomfort and temptation, and how even a simple breath-awareness practice can begin strengthening concentration, self-compassion, emotional regulation, and the ability to respond rather than react.

Chapters:

00:00 Why mindfulness matters in recovery

04:10 Welcome to the episode

04:54 Is meditation against religion?

06:40 What mindfulness really is

09:30 The mindset behind mindfulness-based recovery

13:36 How mindfulness helps with urges and reactions

14:14 Neuroplasticity: how the brain changes

17:01 The meadow analogy explained

18:22 What is equanimity?

20:29 How to begin meditating

23:09 Closing thoughts

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Interested in the Unhooked App? Join the waitlist here:
https://unhookedapp.co/

Jeremy Lipkowitz hosts Brannon and Tyler Patrick on Unhooked to discuss why sobriety and recovery are not the same thing. The brothers are licensed clinicians with about forty years of combined experience treating porn addiction and betrayal trauma, and they host The Therapy Brothers podcast. They explain why a heavy emphasis on sobriety is a prelude to relapse, why focusing on inputs beats chasing a streak, and why recovery worked for a spouse always collapses. Tyler breaks down their trust equation for rebuilding trust after betrayal: shame resiliency on both sides plus rigorous honesty, empathy, and consistent action over time. They also cover what real humility is, the hero's journey framework behind their men's program, healthy disclosure versus probation officer check-ins, and what a betrayed partner is really asking underneath the questions about details.

Chapters:

00:00:00 The energy that actually sustains recovery

00:01:01 The cave you fear to enter

00:01:50 Episode intro and the Unhooked app waitlist

00:04:35 Welcome Tyler and Brannon Patrick

00:05:42 Taking men from untrustworthy to trustworthy

00:06:55 What twenty years changed about their approach

00:10:32 How each brother found this work

00:14:08 Sobriety versus recovery

00:17:31 The paradox: does that mean relapse is fine?

00:20:28 Guys who do not know their sobriety date

00:22:17 When sobriety becomes a weapon

00:23:38 Trap one: getting humility backwards

00:24:54 Trap two: recovering for your spouse

00:28:31 Resentment, and turning your partner into your god

00:28:57 Why the instinct to perform makes sense

00:30:39 Corrective experiences and the challenges they run

00:35:30 The hero's journey

00:36:25 Tyler's map of energies, from coercion to love

00:39:05 When a man will not step over the threshold

00:42:26 The parable of the snake and the apples

00:44:53 Where rebuilding trust starts: rigorous honesty

00:46:11 When your partner draws a hard line

00:48:39 Disclosure, lines of defense, and check ins that work

00:49:03 The trust equation

00:51:43 What a betrayed partner is really asking

00:52:58 What actually needs to be disclosed

00:56:35 Harnessing sexuality instead of killing it

00:58:30 What they want couples to hear

01:03:03 Where to find Tyler and Brannon

01:03:45 Closing

The Therapy Brothers, for Unhooked listeners: therapybrothers.org/unhooked

Unhooked Academy: unhookedacademy.com

Unhooked app waitlist: unhookedapp.co

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Jeremy Lipkowitz hosts Alessandro on Unhooked to discuss his mission of helping men become husbands, fathers, and human beings they admire, inspired by what he lacked in role models and his marriage. Alessandro explains Dr. Arne Rubenstein’s boy-to-man framework, contrasting boy traits like self-centered power, emotional reactivity, blame, and wanting a “mother” with mature ideals such as service to the team, emotional humility, integrity and ownership, and equanimity in relating to the feminine. They explore how Western culture lacks rites of passage, and Alessandro outlines four initiation components: shared stories, challenge, honoring, and vision for the future. The conversation also covers why men avoid ownership, how men’s circles help disclose porn struggles, distinguishing ownership from shame, stream-of-consciousness journaling, and why being a better husband often means reconnecting with oneself while nourishing the household.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro

00:32 Mission Beyond Alpha

03:21 Conscious Masculinity Basics

04:22 Boy to Man Framework

10:54 Applying Traits to Marriage

14:11 Understanding the Feminine

17:19 What Initiation Means

19:41 Rites of Passage Four Parts

27:12 Why Ownership Is Hard

30:34 Handyman Trigger Origins

31:54 Owning Your Feelings

32:36 Recovery Check Ins

35:23 Beyond Performative Apologies

36:24 Resistance And Hard Talks

39:16 Mens Circle Confession

41:37 Ownership Versus Shame

42:22 Shoveling The Shit

48:53 Morning Pages Practice

51:29 Stop Appeasing Your Wife

54:51 Mission Nourish Household

58:34 Lightness Without Excuses

01:01:14 Walking Forward Balance

01:04:29 Final Takeaways And Outro

Connect with Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

In this episode, Jeremy Lipkowitz—former genetics researcher, ordained Buddhist monk, mindfulness teacher, executive coach, and founder of Unhooked Academy—shares his personal journey from early exposure to pornography through daily use in college and into recovery. He discusses how porn’s accessibility, affordability, and anonymity fuel addiction, while underlying drivers often include boredom, loneliness, disconnection, and emotional avoidance. The conversation explores how novelty and endless scrolling train dissatisfaction, how porn can reshape intimacy and create secrecy and shame, and why sobriety alone isn’t the same as recovery—unaddressed roots can lead to cross-addictions. Jeremy highlights the role of community, mindfulness, self-compassion, and present-moment awareness to create choice between stimulus and response, and warns that AI-generated porn and AI companions are already accelerating these risks. He also points to porn’s exploitative underbelly and invites listeners to assess whether harms outweigh perceived benefits.

00:00 Meet Jeremy Lipkowitz

00:26 His Recovery Journey

01:27 Triggers and Three As

03:17 When It Became a Problem

07:01 Sobriety Versus Recovery

08:14 Compulsion or Addiction

10:02 Why Porn Hooks You

13:48 Roots of Addiction

17:10 Connection and Environment

18:41 Men Versus Women

20:23 Slow Burn Consequences

23:06 Signs You Have a Problem

25:28 Porn Warps Intimacy

27:47 Shame and Taboo

28:13 Courage to Reach Out

28:45 Wedding Trigger Story

30:53 Self Deception Narratives

32:33 Powerless vs Powerful

34:56 Beliefs Shape Outcomes

36:13 Stress Anxiety Reframe

37:37 AI Porn Future Risks

40:49 Recovery Community Work

43:31 Presence and Choice Space

46:07 Equanimity with Discomfort

48:30 Porn Industry Reality Check

51:18 OnlyFans Dopamine Escalation

53:39 Cost Benefit Clarity

54:45 Where to Find Jeremy

55:36 Final Wrap Up

Connect with Darren Magee here:

https://www.youtube.com/c/DarrenFMagee

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Jeremy Lipkowitz joins Piers Cross on An Evolving Man to discuss how porn addiction is driven and worsened by craving, shame, and avoidance of unpleasant emotions like boredom, loneliness, anxiety, and lack of purpose. Jeremy shares his own history of early porn exposure, how Buddhism and Matthieu Ricard’s book Happiness helped him understand neuroplasticity (“neurons that fire together, wire together”) and craving as suffering, and why recovery requires more than willpower. They explore why modern porn is uniquely addictive through affordability, accessibility, anonymity, and infinite novelty, and why taking distance from porn reveals impacts on clarity, confidence, and integrity. The conversation emphasizes mindfulness as awareness across the “six sense doors,” community and men’s groups to dissolve isolation and shame, skillful moral shame/dread (hiri and ottappa), and how the attention economy and tech design mimic slot machines to capture attention.

00:00 Shame And Escape

01:18 Rebroadcast And Themes

02:40 Meet Jeremy Lipkowitz

03:54 Porn Habit Origins

06:41 Buddhism Changes Everything

08:46 Neuroplasticity And Craving

12:29 Beyond Meditation Recovery

14:17 Porn Culture And Taboo

16:57 Smartphone Porn Explosion

21:04 Why Porn Hooks Us

24:50 Reclaiming Healthy Sexuality

26:49 Triggers And Emotional Avoidance

29:33 Feeling Emotions In The Body

31:56 Slow Down The Urge

32:59 Mindful Smoking Insight

33:48 Mindfulness In Recovery

35:21 Shame And Community

39:40 Porn Shame Stigma

42:39 Healthy Moral Shame

47:42 Four Truths Reflection

49:31 Attention Economy Trap

55:24 Reclaiming Your Attention

57:31 What Mindfulness Means

59:28 Six Sense Doors Practice

01:01:22 Closing And Resources

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

This rebroadcast from Jonah Primo’s The Overexamined Life features Jeremy Lipkowitz (former Buddhist monk, meditation teacher, executive coach, and host of the Unhooked podcast) discussing pornography as a lens for addiction, shame, and compulsive behavior. They cover how widespread porn use is among men and increasingly women, early exposure in childhood, and how porn’s normalization alongside taboo can fuel addiction. Lipkowitz argues porn is often used for emotional regulation (boredom, loneliness, anxiety), can distort expectations of intimacy, train novelty-seeking dopamine patterns, and contribute to a shame-driven double life. They address ethical concerns about performer exploitation, whether moderate use is defensible, the distinction between porn and masturbation, and rising risks from AI-generated porn, non-consensual deepfakes, and related technologies. Treatment emphasizes mindfulness, men’s groups, integrity, and Viktor Frankl’s “space between stimulus and response” over reliance on blockers; Lipkowitz recommends abstinence first if moderation is attempted.

00:00 Rebroadcast Introduction

01:34 Meet Jeremy Lipkowitz

04:19 Who Watches Porn

05:28 Taboo Meets Normalized

07:04 Kids And Early Exposure

12:49 Porn Scripts And Consent

15:47 Porn As Emotional Coping

20:11 Shame Fuels Addiction

26:52 Making It Less Shameful

28:01 Men's Groups Explained

33:44 Performers And Exploitation

39:36 Is Any Use Safe

42:55 Subtle Long Term Effects

47:11 Hungry Ghost Origin Story

48:43 From Catalogs to Tube Sites

49:30 When Lust Becomes Suffering

50:46 Hungry Ghosts Explained

52:26 Pros and Cons of Quitting

54:59 Masturbation Without Porn

56:50 Engineered to Be Addictive

59:52 AI Porn Pandora Box

01:05:15 Skillful vs Unskillful Desire

01:07:55 Life After Porn Benefits

01:12:54 Relapse and the Three As

01:15:58 Mindfulness Space to Choose

01:20:01 Abstinence vs Moderation

01:22:13 Rapid Fire and Farewell

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Piers Cross on Trauma, Addiction, and Self-Compassion

Most men walk around with stones in their shoes their whole lives. They don't know the stones are there. They just know something hurts, and they've learned to keep walking anyway.

That's one of the most powerful things Piers Cross said in this conversation. And it captures something I see all the time in the men I work with — unprocessed trauma quietly running the show, showing up as compulsive behavior, isolation, a relentless inner critic that won't let them rest.

Piers's own story is one of the more remarkable ones I've encountered. He grew up with an alcoholic father, ran away to boarding school, watched a friend die by suicide, and was then sexually abused by the priest the school sent them to for support. He suppressed all of it, built a successful career in finance, and slowly fell apart. At his lowest point he was homeless, struggling with drugs and alcohol, and tried to take his own life. What turned it around was ending up at a Buddhist monastery — where he stayed for over 1,000 days. He's been sober for 24 years.

In this episode we talk about:

• How suppressed childhood trauma shows up in adult addiction, even when the connection isn't obvious
• Why going back to touch trauma can re-traumatize you — and what to do instead
• What EFT tapping is, how it works neurologically, and why Piers uses it with every client
• The three ingredients Robert Moore says are required for real initiation to happen
• Why the monastery was a rite of passage from boy to man — and what that has to do with recovery
• The inner critic loop that keeps men stuck, and how to step out of it
• Why alcohol and porn relapse are more connected than most people realize
• A five-minute safety meditation practice you can start today
• What Piers wants every man struggling with addiction to hear before anything else

The self-compassion piece in this one is worth the whole conversation. The image Piers uses — of picking a child up 100 times when they fall — is the kind of thing that stays with you.

Connect with Piers Cross:

Coaching: https://piers-cross.com

Leadership work: https://compassionateleadersglobal.com

Podcast: An Evolving Man

Documentary: Boarding on Insanity

Resources from Jeremy:

Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

14-Day Slip Reset: https://unhookedacademy.com/reset

🔹 Want to break free?

Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

This week's episode is a conversation I had on the Enter the Lionheart podcast with host Lawrence Dunling. Lawrence was kind enough to let us reshare it here on Unhooked.

We get into my own unusual path: leaving a PhD program at Duke, training as a Buddhist monk in Myanmar, and eventually building my coaching practice in Thailand. From there we dig into the trap almost all of us fall into, the belief that the next zero in the bank account, the next win, the next relationship will finally make us happy, and why that chase never actually delivers.

We talk through some core Buddhist concepts and how they apply to everyday life: the bliss of blamelessness, the eight worldly winds, and the middle path between renouncing everything and chasing pleasure. And we spend real time on porn and compulsive behavior specifically: why the consequences are often subtle and easy to miss, how it rewires your brain's relationship to novelty and intimacy, and the Rat Park experiment, one of the clearest illustrations out there of why addiction is about an unmet need, not a moral failing.

We also get into modern dating, OnlyFans, the loneliness underneath a lot of it, and why community and close male friendships matter more than most guys realize.

Resources:

Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com/

14-Day Slip Reset: https://unhookedacademy.com/reset

Connect with Jeremy:

🌍 Website: JeremyLipkowitz.com

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyLipkowitz

📩 Email: jeremy@unhookedacademy.com

Jeremy’s Online Course: Unhooked – Step-by-Step Guide to Quitting Porn: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

🔹 Want to break free?

Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it.

In this episode, I share the Five Wise Daily Reflections from Buddhist teachings and explore how they can help you overcome addiction, let go of attachment, take ownership of your actions, and live with greater purpose. These simple reflections have profoundly shaped the way I approach recovery and continue to remind me what truly matters.

What would change if you spent just a few minutes each day reflecting on what really matters most?

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who could benefit from it, and subscribe for more conversations on recovery, mindfulness, and building a life you don't want to escape from.

Chapters:
00:00 Intro
02:01 The Five Wise Daily Reflections
03:06 Aging, Illness, and Death
07:29 Letting Go of Attachment
09:23 Why Your Actions Shape Your Future
12:03 How to Practice These Reflections
12:35 Living Beyond Addiction

Resources:

Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com/

14-Day Slip Reset: https://unhookedacademy.com/reset

Connect with Jeremy:

🌍 Website: JeremyLipkowitz.com

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyLipkowitz

📩 Email: jeremy@unhookedacademy.com

Jeremy’s Online Course: Unhooked – Step-by-Step Guide to Quitting Porn: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

🔹 Want to break free?

Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
This episode is a rebroadcast of a conversation I had with Todd Rennebohm on the Bunny Hugs podcast. Todd runs a mental health show that isn't afraid to go into the territory most podcasts avoid, and this conversation went deep.

We covered my personal story from the beginning. How it started innocent enough, looking at lingerie catalogs as a kid, and slowly escalated over years into a daily habit that was quietly rewiring my brain. By college, I was logging on every night for an hour, sometimes two. And even though my life looked great on paper, I felt completely empty inside.

In this episode we talk about:

• The moment I realized I was a slave to lust, and what it actually felt like from the inside
• How porn hijacks the dopamine system and why the "hunt" is more addictive than the content itself
• The realm of hungry ghosts, a Buddhist concept that perfectly describes what addiction feels like
• Why porn addiction is uniquely hard to break free from compared to alcohol or substances
• How I went from PhD student at Duke to Buddhist monk to meditation teacher to recovery coach
• Why the shame-based, willpower-driven approach almost always backfires
• What neuroplasticity actually means for your recovery, and why it's good news
• How to meditate without falling asleep (and why falling asleep isn't actually the problem)
• AI companions, escalation, and where all of this is headed

This is one of the more wide-ranging conversations I've had. If you're new to this work, it's a good place to start. If you've been around for a while, I think you'll still find something in it.

00:00 Empty Chase

00:50 Meet Jeremy

01:37 How It Started

03:15 Daily Habit

04:59 Control And Coping

06:07 Brain Rewiring

07:15 Novelty Escalation

09:20 Seeing The Future

11:10 Hungry Ghosts

13:33 Neuroplasticity Lust

15:10 Gratitude Training

18:29 Desire Vs Craving

20:31 Meditation Skills

23:11 Tech And AI Risks

24:57 Is It Ever Good

27:14 AI Companions Dystopia

28:30 Moderation Debate

28:37 Moderation vs Abstinence

30:11 Ethics of Porn Industry

33:02 Why Porn Hooks Dopamine

37:15 Rock Bottom Realization

42:43 Finding Happiness Through Mindfulness

46:09 Non Shame Recovery Approach

50:11 Meditation Basics That Work

54:02 Grounded Not Woo Woo

54:49 Where to Find Jeremy

55:26 Final Wrap and Support

Check out Todd's show, Bunny Hugs, at https://bunnyhugspodcast.com/

Resources mentioned:

Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

14-Day Slip Reset: https://unhookedacademy.com/reset

Connect with Jeremy:

🌍 Website: JeremyLipkowitz.com

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyLipkowitz

📩 Email: jeremy@unhookedacademy.com

Jeremy’s Online Course: Unhooked – Step-by-Step Guide to Quitting Porn: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

🔹 Want to break free?

Get my FREE 14-day slip reset here:
https://unhookedacademy.com/reset
This week, I'm resharing a conversation I had with Breanne Wilson on the Adventures in Adversity podcast because I think this message is more important than ever.

We talk about my journey from porn addiction to recovery, how addiction rewires the brain, why shame keeps so many people trapped, and what it really takes to build a life of integrity, purpose, and freedom. We also explore mindfulness, neuroplasticity, healthy masculinity, and why lasting recovery isn't about willpower, it's about creating a life you no longer want to escape from.

Whether you're struggling with porn, another compulsive habit, or simply searching for deeper fulfillment, I hope this conversation reminds you that change is possible.

What's one area of your life where you're ready to stop escaping and start healing?

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who could benefit from it, and subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss future conversations on recovery, self-mastery, and living with purpose.

🔹 Want to break free?

Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Connect with Jeremy:

🌍 Website: JeremyLipkowitz.com

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyLipkowitz

📩 Email: jeremy@unhookedacademy.com

Jeremy’s Online Course: Unhooked – Step-by-Step Guide to Quitting Porn: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Connect with Breanne Wilson

🌍 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adventuresinadversitypodcast/
🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adventures-in-adversity-an-inspirational-podcast/id1727019294

Timestamps:

🔹 Want to break free?

Get my FREE 14-day slip reset here:
https://unhookedacademy.com/reset

Why do so many people struggle to quit porneven when they genuinely want to stop?

In this interview with Tim Tedder on The Affair Recovery Room Podcast, I share my personal journey from years of porn addiction to finding lasting recovery, and the lessons I learned along the way.

We talk about how porn rewires the brain, why novelty keeps people trapped in the cycle, how shame silently fuels addiction, and why recovery isn't about relying on willpower alone. We also discuss mindfulness, healthy relationships, community, and the inner work required to build lasting freedom.

In this episode you'll learn:

• What porn addiction really is
• How porn changes your expectations of intimacy
• Why shame keeps people stuck
• Why willpower isn't enough
• The role of mindfulness in recovery
• Why community accelerates healing
• How to build a life you don't need to escape from

Whether you're struggling yourself or supporting someone you love, I hope this conversation gives you hope and practical insight for the journey ahead.

If this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs it and subscribe for more conversations on recovery, self-mastery, and creating lasting freedom.

🔹 Want to break free?

Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Connect with Jeremy:

🌍 Website: https://www.jeremylipkowitz.com/

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyLipkowitz

📩 Email: jeremy@unhookedacademy.com

Jeremy’s Online Course: Unhooked – Step-by-Step Guide to Quitting Porn: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Connect with Tim Tedder

🌍 Website: https://www.affairhealing.com/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Tim-Tedder

🎙️ Podcast: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts
https://open.spotify.com/show/54DlIhDCxb3a4gpFCJrRPuhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-affair-recovery-room/id1116458007

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction
01:27 What Porn Addiction Really Is
04:25 The Hidden Signs of Addiction
06:03 How My Addiction Started
14:29 Why Real Relationships Feel Harder
20:44 What Finally Helped Me Recover
26:36 Why Shame Keeps Men Stuck
29:26 Porn Isn't the Real Problem

🔹 Want to break free?

Be on the Unhooked Academy waitlist:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

What if the biggest obstacle to your recovery isn't porn but the relationship you have with yourself?

In this episode, I explore a powerful idea that was sparked by a short piece from Joshua Fields Millburn: we often tolerate behavior from ourselves that we'd never accept from anyone else. Whether it's doom scrolling, self-criticism, procrastination, or acting out, these habits quietly steal our time, energy, and potential.

I share a simple framework for recognizing self-sabotaging patterns, setting healthier boundaries with yourself, and becoming your own greatest ally instead of your harshest critic.

Are you treating yourself the way you'd treat someone you truly care about?

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it and subscribe for more conversations on recovery, self-mastery, and building a life you don't want to escape from.

🔹 Want personalized support? Book a free discovery call with Jeremy: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/intro

Get my FREE 14-day slip reset here:
https://unhookedacademy.com/reset

Connect with Jeremy:

🌍 Website: https://www.jeremylipkowitz.com/

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyLipkowitz

📩 Email: jeremy@unhookedacademy.com

Jeremy’s Online Course: Unhooked – Step-by-Step Guide to Quitting Porn: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
01:08 No One Wastes More Time
03:08 Ending Self-Sabotage
04:21 A Three-Step Reset
05:39 Your Mind: Enemy or Ally?
06:40 Become Your Own Best Friend